Hello.. another new guy

[Dizzy]

Hello.  First let me say thanks to everyone!  Your posts have helped me more than you know.  I have been lurking for some time and finally registered.  My story is pretty short, it is probably one that you all have seen.  My first site I went on was a pay per letter one... honestly I don't remember the name.  I wasn't on long.  When my first day after registering was over I had 80+ letters in my inbox from some of the hottest women I have ever seen!!   I was able to read those but would be charged to write back... WOW I didn't realize how desirable I was?!?!    Well.. I never returned to that site and started looking elsewhere... that is how I found RWD. (glad I did)  I have since joined EM and RC.  So far I like EM but would like it if it had the IM like RC.  I have been writing to as many as I can and have luckily, thanks to here, been able to weed out most of the questionable ones.  Since I have little experiences with Russian cultures, I have learned a lot, but realize I still have much much more to go.  Most of the ones I have been writing to I have been able to Skype or Yahoo with, which was good, but have found out that if a RW writes back to you, you better damn well write her back fast!  It turns out my work and my time zone don't count for much.  I would get this response a lot... "I'm no important to you" or "I wait you and you no come".  How does the internet work over there?  I'm being serious.  Some girls say they don't have internet every day??  Is that true?

Ok the main reason I am writing on here is this...  I have been writing/skyping this one girl for almost 5 months.  We have had a lot of fun conversations and seem to have a lot in common.  I really thought I hit the jackpot here.  Talked a lot about our lives, family, future, possible kid's names.. etc.  Then last week she starts talking about money problems.....You've gotta be kidding me!!!...Starts telling me about her "boss" who somehow is also her landlord is telling her she is behind on rent, and is going to take her laptop away and she will be on the street with nothing?!?!?  Oh it gets better... she then tells me she is not a waitress at all, starts to cry, and tells me she is a cam model on a cam sex site and never wanted to tell me because "than she will lost all"  WTF She continued to tell me how she wants out of all this and for me to think of how to help her...   She had to go, so she could go to work.  Yes the cam site...AAAAAANND actually asked me to visit her there to keep her away from the crazy guys as she called them..  I sat there for a minute or to in shock.. What I did next, I don't really know why I did it.  Yes I went on the site.  I found her and was just sick!  She wasn't wearing much and I just couldn't believe it.  Since I didn't register on the site I was considered a guest and she didn't know I was in there... but what I heard made it worse... Apparently, they don't do anything until someone pays them to do a private session.  So here I am sitting there while 50 other guys are all chatting to her.. Then I hear her say many of the comments and use the cute facial expressions she made while talking to me on Skype... I left immediately and haven't responded to her.  Which sucks because she has my cel # and has been texting me and emailing about wanting money for a laptop so "we can talk without her boss knowing"  I have given her NO money and will not ever... but wow!

Has this happened to any of you?  I feel stupid...what a waste of time...  And worse... I had stopped writing other girls because I actually thought this was going somewhere.  Please try to keep the ripping to a minimum... I feel pretty dumb

[Anotherkiwi]

First,    to the mad world that is FSU dating!  At least it seems that you haven't actually spent anything more than your subscriptions, so that's a good start.
 

It turns out my work and my time zone don't count for much.  I would get this response a lot... "I'm no important to you" or "I wait you and you no come".

I found this as well, although not to the same extent as you.  I think it's simply that many people in the FSU are less aware of time zones, and it takes a while for the time differences to sink in.  To be fair, though, this is not just an FSU phenomenon - it applies equally as much to a lot of guys in the USA!
 
As for your lady and her sob story - I'm surprised (VERY surprised!) that she waited five months to try this on.  Just be grateful that you figured it out before paying anything.  The only thing I would point out, as has been written on here countless times, is that you've left it far too long to consider travelling - you really need to go no more than three months after first making contact.  That's why it's probably simpler to get your travel plans all set (book your tickets, at least for your return trip to Kyiv or Moscow - don't worry so much about internal travel) BEFORE you start writing, because at least you can then say "I'll be in Russia in October (or whenever) and would like to meet you."  Of course there are many women who are prepared to wait longer - but most won't, and will eventually consider you to be simply a "keyboard Romeo."
 
Whatever happens, I wish you good luck!

[lonedrake]

Some girls say they don't have internet every day??  Is that true?

 I think they have internet everyday,but in some areas it is not very reliable. They never know when it will work or not.

[JohnDearGreen]

Has this happened to any of you?  I feel stupid...what a waste of time...  And worse... I had stopped writing other girls because I actually thought this was going somewhere.  Please try to keep the ripping to a minimum... I feel pretty dumb

Dizzy:
Any relation to Mr. Dean (one of my favorites)?
Anyway, web cam girls, scammers, strippers, and mafia girls are sometimes looking for romance also.  Don't overlook the possibility that she may of had some interest in you.   But obviously, you ended up on her long list and not her short list (I'm not sure which plan was her plan A).    Did you ever discuss going to meet her in person during those 5 months?  Were the pics on her profile bikini and lingerie?  Any red flags during the 5 months?

[GQBlues]

Dizzy-

Was this girl happen to be one you met on EM or RC?

btw-

Don't so shocked there are women who works on cam sites, escort services, etc. who'd listed themselves, or are actively listed, on the MOB. Back in 2004, my first trip to Moscow, at 4 AM in the morning I was leaving from Tverskaya Marriot waiting for my taxi, two very pretty gals in their early 20s walked out of the hotel and got engaged in a conversation with me. They were telling me how somewhat sad they will be since their pending respective 'petitions' will soon end their nightly working adventures together.

There was a Japanese work seminar going on that week and the joint was pretty busy and women were all over the place.

If you're going to venture deeper in the MOB, take your time and KNOW your woman.

[Faux Pas]

First,    to the mad world that is FSU dating!  At least it seems that you haven't actually spent anything more than your subscriptions, so that's a good start.
 
I found this as well, although not to the same extent as you.  I think it's simply that many people in the FSU are less aware of time zones, and it takes a while for the time differences to sink in.  To be fair, though, this is not just an FSU phenomenon - it applies equally as much to a lot of guys in the USA!
 
As for your lady and her sob story - I'm surprised (VERY surprised!) that she waited five months to try this on.  Just be grateful that you figured it out before paying anything.  The only thing I would point out, as has been written on here countless times, is that you've left it far too long to consider travelling - you really need to go no more than three months after first making contact.  That's why it's probably simpler to get your travel plans all set (book your tickets, at least for your return trip to Kyiv or Moscow - don't worry so much about internal travel) BEFORE you start writing, because at least you can then say "I'll be in Russia in October (or whenever) and would like to meet you."  Of course there are many women who are prepared to wait longer - but most won't, and will eventually consider you to be simply a "keyboard Romeo."
 
Whatever happens, I wish you good luck!

+ a few

Dizzy:
Any relation to Mr. Dean (one of my favorites)?
Anyway, web cam girls, scammers, strippers, and mafia girls are sometimes looking for romance also.  Don't overlook the possibility that she may of had some interest in you.   But obviously, you ended up on her long list and not her short list (I'm not sure which plan was her plan A).    Did you ever discuss going to meet her in person during those 5 months?  Were the pics on her profile bikini and lingerie?  Any red flags during the 5 months?

C'mon man, really? You'd advise this newbie to not over look a sex cam chick?  JDG, where did you find your wife?

[LAman]

What I find pretty funny is the fact the OP....gladly found RWD.........followed the 'recommended' sites here  and found a women.......got contact info...IM and skyped for months.......and still ended up with a girl asking for money!!!!
It's not the 'sites'...it's the girls and the guys choices which determines what direction a relationship goes!!!!

[steveboy]

Dizzy:
Any relation to Mr. Dean (one of my favorites)?
Anyway, web cam girls, scammers, strippers, and mafia girls are sometimes looking for romance also.  Don't overlook the possibility that she may of had some interest in you.   But obviously, you ended up on her long list and not her short list (I'm not sure which plan was her plan A).    Did you ever discuss going to meet her in person during those 5 months?  Were the pics on her profile bikini and lingerie?  Any red flags during the 5 months?

I have met two cam girls actually both were perfectly ok, just doing a job and making some money, no big deal! Even lived with one for 6 weeks. Just becouse she works on a cam site doesn't mean she is a bad person. Although a lot more caution here

[Gator]

And among Sculpto's one million stories, did he not have one about a relationship with a prostitute?   
 
Just in case someone believes I consider this normal, Sculpto was the RWD Californian who would go to gatherings in the desert where he danced naked around a fire under the moonlight. 

[Dizzy]

 
  The only thing I would point out, as has been written on here countless times, is that you've left it far too long to consider travelling - you really need to go no more than three months after first making contact.  That's why it's probably simpler to get your travel plans all set (book your tickets, at least for your return trip to Kyiv or Moscow - don't worry so much about internal travel) BEFORE you start writing, because at least you can then say "I'll be in Russia in October (or whenever) and would like to meet you."  Of course there are many women who are prepared to wait longer - but most won't, and will eventually consider you to be simply a "keyboard Romeo."

Yes we did talk a lot about a trip to visit her... right now is hard with my work.  But you are right I guess I missed that 3 month advice from others before.  Thanks

[Dizzy]

I think they have internet everyday,but in some areas it is not very reliable. They never know when it will work or not.

Thanks.. I just have heard that a lot from others.. esp in Ukraine. 

[Dizzy]

Dizzy:
Any relation to Mr. Dean (one of my favorites)?
Anyway, web cam girls, scammers, strippers, and mafia girls are sometimes looking for romance also.  Don't overlook the possibility that she may of had some interest in you.   But obviously, you ended up on her long list and not her short list (I'm not sure which plan was her plan A).    Did you ever discuss going to meet her in person during those 5 months?  Were the pics on her profile bikini and lingerie?  Any red flags during the 5 months?

Funny you say that... yes that is where I got the name.... I am from st. Louis, and a big cardinal fan.  Gotta love the "Gashouse Gang"
Yes we talked a lot about a visit, she seemed understanding about the wait.. guess I know why.. No her pics (2 on her profile and seemed to have been taken with a regular camera, not pro taken) were in a dress, nothing risqué, would blush and get embarrassed if I complimented her on her looks during Skype... believe me... I am trying to think back now for any red flags before... just this red octagon last week!  I should say that at first it was real slow... couple sentence replies, but always answering what I asked, and would progress to lengthy letters... but not once did she say "love" or all the stuff I read about scammers...   She speaks very good English.. not the best, but better than any Russian I would butcher as it came out of my mouth!   

[Dizzy]

Dizzy-

Was this girl happen to be one you met on EM or RC?

If you're going to venture deeper in the MOB, take your time and KNOW your woman.

She had profiles on both, but I started talking on RC.. first letters, then IM on the site, then skype
Thanks ... good advice

[Dizzy]

I have met two cam girls actually both were perfectly ok, just doing a job and making some money, no big deal! Even lived with one for 6 weeks. Just becouse she works on a cam site doesn't mean she is a bad person. Although a lot more caution here

I am really not trying to be judgemental and say she is a bad person...but.. S**t! I talked with her a lot and to me that's a long time for that lie.  I really don't know the whole story.. but idk.. I guess I am glad I didn't go there and something bad happen.

[steveboy]

And among Sculpto's one million stories, did he not have one about a relationship with a prostitute?   
 
Just in case someone believes I consider this normal, Sculpto was the RWD Californian who would go to gatherings in the desert where he danced naked around a fire under the moonlight.

Silly man

[cheval]

  Most of the ones I have been writing to I have been able to Skype or Yahoo with, which was good, but have found out that if a RW writes back to you, you better damn well write her back fast!  It turns out my work and my time zone don't count for much.  I would get this response a lot... "I'm no important to you" or "I wait you and you no come".  How does the internet work over there?  I'm being serious.  Some girls say they don't have internet every day??  Is that true?

In my experience  you do need to respond quickly if they contact you first. Here is a copy of an email from a very beautiful Russian woman that chewed me out because I did not respond to her email quickly enough (1.5 days).

"if you do not respond to my messages and ignore my questions, it is clear that communication we will not have.... I know ... I read your profile and there you write about yourself. This is very interesting. But it is like a profile for all women. I would like you to write something for me. Okay. Forget it. Short was our communication. good bye"

[ML]

In my experience  you do need to respond quickly if they contact you first. Here is a copy of an email from a very beautiful Russian woman that chewed me out because I did not respond to her email quickly enough (1.5 days).

"if you do not respond to my messages and ignore my questions, it is clear that communication we will not have.... I know ... I read your profile and there you write about yourself. This is very interesting. But it is like a profile for all women. I would like you to write something for me. Okay. Forget it. Short was our communication. good bye"

You should be thankful.

I was once contacted by a woman from Latvia.  She also wanted instant return messages, and told me if I didn't , then . . . unsubscribe.

I was so stupid that I followed up with her in communication and actually met with her.

But, oh boy . . . she turned out to have exactly the same behavior with respect to many things.  Argumentative as he!!

[Patagonie]

FSU women are proud and pragmatic, contrary to men, when they write first they want results.
So yes when they contact you first, you must answer quickly. With no slangs, simple language, and avoid humour or it will be a crash and burn.
I don't stop to repeat on this site : start to write to girls ONLY when you have (and not when you know) your ticket in the pocket. Buy your ticket first and write after. But they do the opposite : they write to a bunch of lovely butt and fly like butterfly in every direction where a sweet correspondance is welcoming them, and suddenly all plans crash because the girl is a scammer or she lost interest (translates she got a local boyfriend or got engaged with an other foreigner).
The problem of the Writing ..... VISIT ONE is that you control nothing, especially when you are from US (because of time transport and short vacation / as european you can schedule a three or four days travel so if you crash it is not a big deal).

But the biggest problem is not money or losing your vacation : it is to protecting your feelings and your ego. The emotional management is the key of the success because this journey is longer than a marathon. If you have too many negative experiences  and get discouraged too quickly you will stop international dating. If there is no reward and tons of shit 99% of guys let it go and restart to date locally.
And writing is the thing who sucks guys the most. Every emotional engagement PRIOR the meeting is the best way to screw up his life, and men are the champions for this.

What is also fascinating with writing is that guys are always writing to the woman of their life, not knowing that this woman has probably a local fuckfriend, two others locals who are pursuing her, she has three foreigners she likes with whom she is chatting or writting regulary, and additionaly every week a dozen of new guys are writing to her through different sites.

At the end only 1 on  10000 guys who are interested in the international dating get married 

[cheval]

You should be thankful.

I was once contacted by a woman from Latvia.  She also wanted instant return messages, and told me if I didn't , then . . . unsubscribe.

I was so stupid that I followed up with her in communication and actually met with her.

But, oh boy . . . she turned out to have exactly the same behavior with respect to many things.  Argumentative as he!!

She emailed me a week later, changed her mind, and said I could communicate with her. I decided to blacklist her.  If I had started communicating again she would know that she would be able to control me, and things would have been downhill from there.  It was tempting because of her beauty, but she would have made a nightmare of a wife.  I don’t blame you for doing what you did, I was still tempted.

[Dizzy]

Well... I just thought I'd post an update, if you want to call it that.  She has been trying to contact me a lot.  I really don't know what to say back!  I really don't want to get into a cyber-argument and waste more time.. but I do miss talking to her!  Her last message was funny (to me anyway).  She said:"i wanna see uuu!...I musing u!!!!"  Now I know she meant to say I am missing you, because she has made this mistake before... but I had to laugh at the irony.  Yes милая, I know you are using me!  Any advice?  Should I respond at all?

But, I have to say, Hats off to you guys out there who have been through this and a lot worse!!  This international dating is so different to me.  I didn't expect this to be easy, but I also didn't expect to get this attached so fast to someone I have never met before and have it crushed with money requests!  Am I wrong with this?  Do I have scammer paranoia?  I know that is a warning on here.  I really tried to not think about that possibility too much, when talking with any of the girls I have communicated with because I always felt I could just stop writing if it got to that.  but with this one, it has been difficult. 

Any way, thanks for any advice

Btw: other girls that I said I stopped talking to, must have sensed why,  and  pretty much told me to F off when I tried talking to them again.   

[AnObserver]

shit happens...
but keep it up!

[jone]

Btw: other girls that I said I stopped talking to, must have sensed why,  and  pretty much told me to F off when I tried talking to them again.

The wonderful thing about dating FSUW:  There is always another one to take her place. 

The easy part is finding a woman to marry.  The hard part actually begins when you get married.  Are you sure you're up for this?

[ML]

The easy part is finding a woman to marry. 

But many here write about how to be the perfect man and kowtow to every whim of the FSUW, in the hope that one will accept you.

[Patagonie]

Well... I just thought I'd post an update, if you want to call it that.  She has been trying to contact me a lot.  I really don't know what to say back!  I really don't want to get into a cyber-argument and waste more time.. but I do miss talking to her!  Her last message was funny (to me anyway).  She said:"i wanna see uuu!...I musing u!!!!"  Now I know she meant to say I am missing you, because she has made this mistake before... but I had to laugh at the irony.  Yes милая, I know you are using me!  Any advice?  Should I respond at all?

But, I have to say, Hats off to you guys out there who have been through this and a lot worse!!  This international dating is so different to me.  I didn't expect this to be easy, but I also didn't expect to get this attached so fast to someone I have never met before and have it crushed with money requests!  Am I wrong with this?  Do I have scammer paranoia?  I know that is a warning on here.  I really tried to not think about that possibility too much, when talking with any of the girls I have communicated with because I always felt I could just stop writing if it got to that.  but with this one, it has been difficult. 

Any way, thanks for any advice

Btw: other girls that I said I stopped talking to, must have sensed why,  and  pretty much told me to F off when I tried talking to them again.

two posts above :
But the biggest problem is not money or losing your vacation : it is to protecting your feelings and your ego. The emotional management is the key of the success because this journey is longer than a marathon. If you have too many negative experiences  and get discouraged too quickly you will stop international dating. If there is no reward and tons of shit 99% of guys let it go and restart to date locally.
And writing is the thing who sucks guys the most. Every emotional engagement PRIOR the meeting is the best way to screw up his life, and men are the champions for this.

What is also fascinating with writing is that guys are always writing to the woman of their life, not knowing that this woman has probably a local fuckfriend, two others locals who are pursuing her, she has three foreigners she likes with whom she is chatting or writting regulary, and additionaly every week a dozen of new guys are writing to her through different sites.

Start to write when you have your ticket in the pocket. So  not too much writing, and you can switch of girl is something goes wrong.
Pat