"I Love (and hate) Dating Russian Men"

[lonedrake]

I am amused that many have taken her essay as a stated fact.

 I would say it goes without saying this is her personal opinion...based on her experiences. So far two RW have commented on it.....and they both agree with it. 3 to 0 so far. On this topic...RW opinions are the ones that count IMO.(or gay)

Boethius, Even though I appreciate and respect you, I do not consider you a RW. Maybe I am wrong?

[Faux Pas]

Wait wait wait ... are you saying America is full of guys that bring flowers and gifts on the dates, act like they are boyfriend straight away on the date number one, do not accept 'no' for an answer and always pay for everything when they are with women? 
Or you mean America is full of guys who cheat, fight for every little reason and do not differentiate between relationship and sex? 

 

Well let me tell it to you this way, her description of RM could have fit me to a tee on many dates I went on. I was a single man for over 16 years (by choice I should add) and the traits she attributed to RW fit me to a tee on probably half the dates I went on almost verbatim 

[Boethius]

Boethius, Even though I appreciate and respect you, I do not consider you a RW. Maybe I am wrong?

No, you're not.  But unlike anyone else posting here, I am currently married to a RM, lived with him in the FSU, and had more contact with his friends than with female acquaintances. 

[Belvis]

This link was here a few years ago. I think it's approapriate to update it in this thread:
Observations of AW about RM and AM (http://russia-alaska.com/enn/The_Russia_Factor.htm)

When Michele Berdy graduated in 1978, she moved to the Soviet Union and has hardly looked back since. Over the past 30 years, she's lived through, and even helped shape, many of Russia's modern upheavals.

Gather together five women in any Moscow kitchen, and after a brief lament over the high cost of living, some gossip about co-workers, and a desultory review of some of the stranger moments in the country's political life, the conversation inevitably turns to the Main Topic--Russian men-and doggedly stays there for the rest of the evening. Judging by these conversations, it's clear that God-either by mistake or out of some inexplicable grudge--created Russian men as a merciless trial for Russian women. Their irresponsibility, irrationality and infantilism are legendary. How bad are they? They're so bad that even Russian men themselves think they are irredeemable screw-ups.

During these kitchen debates someone will inevitably express that opinion that we American women are lucky: American men, judging by movies and a few acquaintances, are different. They are responsible, mature, gentle and kind; they weren't emotionally crippled by the brutality and paternalism of the Soviet regime. They even wash their own socks! (Sock washing being the litmus test for love in Russia, much like driving a man to the airport in New York is an indisputable sign of devotion and self-sacrifice.) Every morning we American women must thank Fate that we were born in such a marvelous country with such ideal men.

This business about "ideal" would come as something of a shock to their American sisters, or to American men, for that matter, who, Lord knows, haven't been getting that kind of feedback from their wives or lovers lately. No, I tell my friends, the ideal doesn't exist in nature or in marriage. It's not a matter of "better" or "worse"; it's what you can put up with and what you can't stand. "You might find Russian men impossible," I begin confidently, "but some of us actually like Russian men," (slightly less confidently, under the dark gaze of my friends), "and in fact, " I say, now in a meek little whisper, "some of us even prefer them!" Over the astonished shouts and moans of my friends, I insist that American men might seem ideal, but the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence. Once you open the gate and wander about the lawn for a bit, you find the same crabgrass and weeds. What follows are highly unscientific and subjective ruminations on some of the differences between Russian and American men. The conclusions may be tentative, but the field work was exhaustive.

He loves me, he loves me not

Imagine a huge hall. On one side a table of seven American men, on the other seven Russians, all having a rousing good time, with piles of food and batteries of bottles. Which group would I join? I'd make a bee-line for the Russians. Why? It's my sad experience that in such situations American men often revert to the bravura of the Frat House. They continue talking as if you weren't there, they hoot at esoteric jokes that you don't understand ("and then he said: "Home, Jeeves! And make it fast! " followed by howls of laughter). They make it clear that whatever they were talking about was so important that they simply don't have the time or inclination to deal with you at all.

What would the Russians do? Seven men would fly up out of their chairs, set before me a plate full of food and glasses filled to the brim with wine, water and vodka. They would tell me how glad they were that I showed up to lighten an otherwise dull evening. They would compete with each other to get my attention, each out-doing the others in flattering toasts to my beauty, intelligence, kindness. Of course, it would all be perfect nonsense. They might, in fact, rather resent my presence, since before I arrived they were busy hammering out a deal to corner the market in precious metals or discussing the latest scam to get around-with dubious legality-the tax code. But they've been trained to be nice to women, and besides, they really like women. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out which, from the point of view of single woman, the Fun Table is.

Relations between American men and women have become so strained in recent years that you sometimes get the impression our men don't really like us all that much any more, or that we've become more trouble than we're worth. They often claim that feminism is the culprit: "We just don't know what women want." Or they blame all the fuss over sexual harassment in the work place, because of which even the most innocent compliment can land you in court. I've always found this a rather specious argument: You don't need the subtlety of a poet to grasp the difference between, say, "Hey, Mary, got your hair cut? Looks great!" and "If you don't sleep with me I'll fire you." No, I think the problem appeared before feminism and sexual harassment suits (in fact, I think these appeared in response to the problem). The problem is the cultural image of a Real Man in America: the Marlboro man, alone in the prairie with his beloved horse and pack of beloved cigarettes, and not a woman in sight.

If these billboards now dot Russian fields, they certainly don't reflect the indigenous images of men. If Casablanca were made in Russia, Humphrey Bogartovich would not go off in the night to start a beautiful friendship with Claude Rainoff. In Russian films and myths, men do trudge off into the steppes, usually in chains, but in the next scene, there's a Sonya or a Katya trudging after them. Cut to: exile on knees, kissing the hand of Sonya, weeping, "Thank God you've come! I couldn't have survived without you!" Russian men need women, and the cultural myths allow them both to need them and admit it. But just imagine a film that has the Marlboro man on his knees, weeping over the hand of his woman, come to save him. We're more likely to see him nuzzling his horse, the poor guy. American cultural myths just don't let our men admit their needs or weaknesses. Hence all the pigtail pulling and Frat House bravura-it's about the only way the culture lets them get our attention.

Little Russian boys might have pulled the pigtails of little Russian girls, but they grew out of that pretty quickly. They need affection, they crave feminine comfort and support. Of course, true to the traditions of Russian extremism, they go over the top. Operating on the theory that "more is better," if one woman is good, then, logically, five women would be even better. So it's perfectly fine to juggle a handful of affairs simultaneously. Or, if a supportive women is good, then how much the better if she takes over the role of bread-winner, mother, wife and lover, forgiving him all his faults and frailties. So it's perfectly fine to abandon all pretense of maturity and let your woman treat you like a charming but hopelessly ineffectual little boy. Yes, sometimes you'd like to see a bit of that American independence in them. You'd wish they'd be ashamed to reveal some of their weaknesses. You'd like them to pull up their socks (and wash them, too, from time to time). But give me a man who's not afraid to admit he needs me!

Will You Still Respect Me in the Morning?

I'm not the first to recognize that American men have problems talking about-admitting, recognizing, naming, revealing, discussing or even acknowledging--their feelings, or, God forbid, their needs. They don't do it much among themselves. (Instead they play sports, which allow them to work through stress, anger, confusion, fear and other taboo emotions on the playing field. Or anyway I think that's what they're doing out there, rolling around on muddy football fields on Sunday afternoons.) They themselves have recognized the problem and even started clubs that allow them to "bond" and get out some of those bottled-up emotions.

Oh, what they could learn from their Russian brethren! Russian men do not suffer from bottled-up emotions. In fact, they are one of the least emotionally bottled-up populations on the face of the earth. With the help of the bottle-say, four or five liters of 80 proof vodka-they sit with their friends (three being the magical number of drinking buddies), pour down the liquor, and let it all out: all their fears, all their sins, all their doubts and worries and needs. About 3:00 a.m. one usually asks the others, "Do you respect me?" and the others reply, with the solemnity of a military oath, "Of course, old man, of course."

I have to admit that I didn't get the point of this for many years; it seemed like one of those quaint but opaque mysteries of the Russian soul that we foreigners can never quite penetrate. But now I do: it's the confessional, it's the shrink's couch, it's a way of getting all those taboo emotions off their chests: Absolut absolution.

Of course, it would be lovely if they could free their souls without a three-day binge, squandered paychecks and fights about same with their wives and lovers. It would be lovely if they had just a bit of their American brothers' shame and guilt over irresponsible behavior. But when the system works, Russian men get rid of their "stuff" and don't come home wound up like time bombs (scheduled to go off during the first mid-life crisis).

Let's talk

If there is one issue that has Russian and American men at opposite poles, it's the issue of Clarity. American men like clarity. They seem to have a very clear picture of what they want, and they are perfectly happy to Talk About Our Relationship. Or, even if they don't want to commit, they are very clear

about their lack of commitment. This can be very good indeed: it's good to know where you stand, it's good to hear his plans and intentions. Only sometimes you feel that he's got the whole thing planned out just a tad too rigidly. He knows the kind of woman he's looking for (age, size, type of figure and hair, profession, social and economic background, education, political preferences); he knows when he'd like to fall in love and get married, when to have children and how many to have. If you don't fit into the plan, you get crossed off the list. It's Love by Filofax--there's no room for any fun anymore; the playfulness is gone. Everyone seems to have forgotten that sometimes the deepest love can appear with the most unlikely person.

Russian men are at the other end of the universe. They hate clarity. As far as I have been able to determine, they only feel psychologically comfortable in an atmosphere of total uncertainty. It's not that they don't want to commit, they're not even ready to commit to a conversation about commitment: they want to keep all their options open. Sometimes you can't even wangle the most elementary information out of them-like their last names or their marital status-leave alone get some sense of where the relationship is heading. "I don't know!" he'll protest, with sigh worthy of Job. "How can I know what will happen to us when I don't even know what kind of government we'll have tomorrow!" It turns out that "let's talk" are the most terrifying two words in the Russian language. Men who have faced down tanks, lived through prison camps, heroically stood up to a brutal regime, will turn tail faster than a jack rabbit at the sound of the first word, "let's." The front door slams, the elevator descends, and before you've even uttered ". . . talk, " he's already in Tver.

On the other hand, Russian men are nothing if not playful. They'll give anything a try. They might have their tastes and preferences, and in the end they might marry a comfortable sort of woman next door, but it doesn't matter if you're 10 years older or 20 years younger, if you're a brain surgeon and he's a cop, or even, I suspect, if you're from another planet-if it feels right, they'll give it a go. They haven't read "Ten Steps to a Happy Marriage," or reports on similarity of background as a precondition for a long and happy union. They still believe in love.

The Russia Factor

My American women friends in Moscow say that something odd comes over their boyfriends when they move to Russia. Take a nice, sensitive, responsible average American male, who has learned to share the housework without complaining (much) and take pride in his girlfriend's professional achievements, drop him in Moscow, and in three weeks he turns into a sexist pig. His apartment is a sty, knee deep in dirty socks and take-out pizza boxes. He starts smoking unfiltered Camels and drinking vodka straight. He drops his accomplished American girlfriend and starts a series of affairs with 22-year old Russian beauties with legs that don't quit. American women moan in despair. What happened to their men? What does Russia do to them?

What Russia does to them is let them misbehave. It's the reason that law-abiding, constitution-thumping American businessmen turn into tax-evading, law-breaking, document-forgers in Russia: because you can get away with it. Who wouldn't behave like a 19-year-old jerk if he could do so with impunity?

But it gets stranger. Say our average American male gets married to one of his Russian beauties. Within a day of his wedding, he immediately reverts to being a sensitive, responsible man who always brings home his paycheck, never goes on a binge with the boys (well, almost never), and willingly, uncomplainingly shares the housework. Except he's suddenly more "romantic" than he ever was with his American girlfriends, prone to impulse purchases of imported hot-house flowers and gold trinkets fashioned by the descendants of pre-Revolutionary jewelers. You see, he's grateful. He can't believe his good luck: His wife doesn't expect him to manfully bear the burdens of the world on his shoulders, she'll listen to him in moments of drunken doubt and forgive all his weaknesses. In old Russian, the word for "pity" also meant "love," and Russian women know how to love sympathetically better than anyone on earth (perhaps much better than American women...?). He thinks he's died and gone to heaven. His wife is happy, too: Her husband doesn't disappear for three days to drink away his paycheck, he's willing to wash his own socks, and doesn't jump on the next plane when she says, "Let's talk." True, he's a bit uptight. True, it's hard to get an indication of his emotional state out of him. But, hey, you can live with that.

Odder still is what happens when Russian men fall in love with American women. At least at first, or at least in some things, they don't misbehave with us the way they do with the women "next door." They feel the tug of shame when they drink away their paychecks, they feel the burden of guilt if they start a second (or a fourth) affair (well, most of the time). I'm not quite sure why this happens. I suspect it's a correlate of the reason why American men misbehave in Russia: because Russian men know they can't get away with it. Somehow they know that we just won't put up with the kind of blatant, unrepentant irresponsibility that Russian women silently endure (although perhaps they shouldn't. . .?). So they just don't try it. And they find, sometimes, that behaving like a grown-up has unexpected rewards-like self-respect, like not having all that much to confess to their drinking buddies at 3:00 a.m. We're happy with men who admit their needs without threat of divorce or firing squad. We're delighted with men who have blissfully uncomplicated feelings for us. True, they won't wash their socks. And true, they break out in hives when we say, "Let's talk." But, hey, you can live with that.

Perhaps in the end it isn't a matter of habit or taste, better or worse. Perhaps we might learn a bit from each other in the love and romance department. Or perhaps when the grass is sweet on the other side of the fence, it's easy to overlook the weeds.

[mendeleyev]

When Michele Berdy graduated in 1978, she moved to the Soviet Union and has hardly looked back since.

What a talented writer! I look forward to her musings on Russian language.

[Gator]

Belvis,
 
Excellent reference; Michelle is even more qualified than Diana based on having 30 years of observations.   There is much overlap between Michelle's and Diana's stereotypes.

Is it true what she says about Russian films and myths?   Or is that now outdated.  American films have changed significantly.
 
Her "grass is greener" closing statement is certainly apt.  Both RM and AM have their foibles, some not so minor. 
 
Not so sure that RM do not have a plan.  My 14-yo stepson talks frequently about having a girlfriend and eventually getting married with children.   

[Gator]

Wait wait wait ... are you saying America is full of guys that bring flowers and gifts on the dates, act like they are boyfriend straight away on the date number one, do not accept 'no' for an answer and always pay for everything when they are with women? 
Or you mean America is full of guys who cheat, fight for every little reason and do not differentiate between relationship and sex? 

 

missAmeno, you make a rhetorical question, and rhetorical questions require no answer. 
 
Yes, IMO there are mentality differences between the RM stereotyped by Diana and the majority of AM as I know them.   And you summarize the differences well, focusing on the key points. 
 
Exceptions exist in great number however.  Can we typify the  RM and the AM?   All I can say is that each has a penis.  One can not even assert a basic point such as all men want to have sex with women.  And the "having a penis"  line is now blurred by a new California law whereby boys can use the girls' toilet and showers if they perceive themselves as transgendered.   California never ceases to surprise me.   

[Belvis]

Is it true what she says about Russian films and myths?   Or is that now outdated.  American films have changed significantly.

Even if mentality is changing the process takes time. I feel she's right in her observation that RM behave in line with words from Kalman's operetta:
We cannot live without women
in the world, no!
You - our happiness,
As the poet said!
 

Not so sure that RM do not have a plan.  My 14-yo stepson talks frequently about having a girlfriend and eventually getting married with children.   

He's not quite RM under your influence 

[GQBlues]

The very basic error most readers here make here is the assumption that US males, and their dating behavior, are represented by the lot that is involved in the MOB, or worst, those that post in this forum.
 
FWIW, that's much, much further afield than left field.

[Gator]

 He's not quite RM under your influence 

My influence wanes compared to his mama and 24-yo sister who have raised him without a father.   He is a unique boy whom I have known since he was 8.  His zest for life is unparalleled.   
 
This raises another point.  Russian fathers seemingly  do not have as much influence as AM in the raising of children.   Many a RW has told me stories of how the father simply abandoned his child/children (or the mother threw the father out).  Even with intact families, the Russian father  seems to play a role different from the American father.  If true, this would affect the young RM.  Is this part of the difference between RM and AM?
 
I am not suggesting that RM are bad fathers.  To the contrary, I have seen many RM fathers with their children and they seem to be the same as AM fathers.
 
I noticed with my own stepson that he has not been coddled even though raised without a father.  For example, his mama and sister thought it good that he played American football last year even though he received much physical punishment.

[Gator]

The very basic error most readers here make here is the assumption that US males, and their dating behavior, are represented by the lot that is involved in the MOB, or worst, those that post in this forum.
 

Worst? 
 
You married a MOB and you post here.   Let me guess - you are the exception even though you know little about the individuals here. 

[lordtiberius]

I read a lot posts from the members here and wonder who are the wife hunters and who are the tourists?

Much of Ms. Bruk's critiques of AM and their masculinity or lack of it have benn validated  in the comments on this thread.

[Konfushus]

LOL My first thought reading this article was the same as GQBlues. Hasn't this chick ever crossed the bridge to Brooklyn... or Joisey? She's comparing two different specific groups of guys, nothing more. That one is Russian and the other American has little to do with the differences.

Actually she described very well one particular stereotype of FSUM.

It's not just a particular FSUM stereotype, it's a particular MAN stereotype. With slight modifications it can be applied to some men from any country.

I hope some of you folks get to realize (soon) it isn't nationalities but individuals that separate us all.

Yes. Worth repeating.

[missAmeno]

It's not just a particular FSUM stereotype, it's a particular MAN stereotype. With slight modifications it can be applied to some men from any country.

Why I have impression that you talking only about certain characteristics author described and  not whole package. Or those others characteristics in your opinion classified as 'slight modifications' and ignored?

[Belvis]

This raises another point.  Russian fathers seemingly  do not have as much influence as AM in the raising of children.   Many a RW has told me stories of how the father simply abandoned his child/children (or the mother threw the father out).  Even with intact families, the Russian father  seems to play a role different from the American father.  If true, this would affect the young RM.  Is this part of the difference between RM and AM?

The topic is not obvious to simplify down to stereotyping. On one hand RM spend likely less time in the raising of children than their american fellows. On the other hand the family bonds between russian fathers and grown  children seems to be more firm than in american families. To the large extent it's the question of age when man creates a family, when he's ripe for fatherhood.
Well, women are more qualified to do correct comparison in this aspect.

[Konfushus]

So far two RW have commented on her article...and they both agree with it. Who would know better than RW?

I've seen this attitude on these forums before, where an 'RW's opinion must trump all and I don't get it.

Consider this. I'm a European guy headed to New York to work in the financial sector, interested in dating American chicks in their 20s. I want to learn what to expect. Who should I listen to?

1. A 40 something year old woman living in an Alabama trailer park. She has 3 kids from 3 different dads. She thinks American men are lazy, good for nothing, drunk, wife beating cheaters.

2. A 30 something year old ultra liberal career focused womand from LA, never married, no kids, living in Paris for the past 5 years because she has better opportunities there, including with men. She'd jaded and thinks American men are either 'too nice' and boring or complete pigs, with nothing in between.

3. A European guy my age who's made a few month long business trips to New York, working in the financial sector and dating girls in their 20s when in the USA. He thinks the American men he hangs out with in New York are about the same as the guys back home, in other words that there are different kinds.

Should I listen to 1 or 2 just because they are 'AW'? Who can tell me the most about the New York dating scene that I'm about to experience? Who can tell me about the American men I'll be competing with?

If I want to learn what I can expect, I ask people who are similar to me who put themselves in similar situations. When I seek advice on what to do, I listen to people similar to me who have achieved what I want to achieve. When I seek advice on what to avoid, I listen to people similar to me who have failed in what I want to achieve.

The key is that I'd listen primarily to people that are similar to me. That's a concept lost on this forum where you have guys of vast age differences and walks of lifes arguing about dating expecting their experiences to compare, both in Russia and back home. I don't know about you guys, but I don't expect my gramps' dating life to match mine.

Consider this. Poster 1 says Russian girls are much easier to approach than American girls. Poster 2 says Poster 1, you are full of it, American girls are just as easy to approach!

Who is right? Both of them. Poster 1 is an introvert. Being a foreigner abroad gives him an automatic conversation starter and boost of confidence that makes women seem more approachable to him. Poster 2 is an extrovert who has no problems hitting on women anywhere. To him women in America and Russia are the same, equally approachable.

Now back to the regular scheduled arguments.

[Konfushus]

Why I have impression that you talking only about certain characteristics author described and  not whole package. Or those others characteristics in your opinion classified as 'slight modifications' and ignored?

I wrote 'with slight modifications' deliberately to avoid nitpicky arguments. Even you disagreed with one of her points. I hope you disagree with others because some are blatantly false.

We can nitpick though and I'll combine this response with views from my wife since I believe another poster, Lonedrake, would be interested.

I showed my wife the article and her first comment was 'What did she expect hanging out with losers who hang out drinking in the village streets'?

We discussed the article from the point of view of her experiences and those of her friends, sisters and colleagues that talk about these sort of things.

She agrees that guys 'like this' exist in Russia. She agrees that similar guys exist in the US because she's hung out with me and my 'Redneck Rampage' cousins in Tennessee. Here's some of her comments.

the women are astoundingly beautiful and immaculately presented

She agrees that Russian women in general are better presented than in the US. She disagrees about the beauty and actually found the women in Moscow to be poorly presented and unnattractive in general compared to her home town. I personally disagree, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

the fact that there are more women than men

False

The disintegration of male hygiene and work ethic that occurs when there is (by some counts) a 3:1 female

False. Since there is no 3:1 ratio this hypothesis is negated.

most of the guys I met were engaged in some sort of dubious import/export business in electronics; the rest were involved in “business”

My wife think this statement was ridiculous. True if you're hanging out with mafia types. Regular guys have regular jobs and can specifiy their job title, of course.

The second thing you’ll notice is that Russian men are patriarchal alpha males

Wife says it's a sham and when it comes down to it, the women often rule the roost.

You do not meet a Russian man, you are chosen by one.

Wife couldn't relate to that. She said yeah, some guys hit on you more aggressive than others and she's heard some wild stories, but they don't 'choose' you as if you have no choice. Isn't that the same in America? Yes wife, yes it is.

Not surprisingly, the attitude toward rape in Russia is still depressingly medieval. “It happens. That’s life,”

Wife said "What? My father would cut off this guy's thing!"

When I met one of my Russian boyfriends, he had (as is customary) come by the house several times to take me on long walks and brought cake for me and my parents, never once making anything remotely resembling an advance.

Wife agees up to the last part. Several dates with a Russian guy not making advance? Especially the macho man type? She thinks that's a joke. My note: Kind of contradicts other things being said right?

Lovemaking stuff... no comment.

If he hits you, that means he loves you

Wife says her father would take care of that dude real quick. Definitely this is not a belief shared by her family or friends.

They bring flowers and little gifts

Sometimes.

They open the door for you and pull out your chair.

Often (and I can confirm, this isn't all the time).

as a woman, you never ever pour wine

Yes.

They tie your shoes for you if they see your laces are loose.

Shoes with laces?

They always, always pay

Yes.

proudly frisbeeing their credit cards at the bill, idly chatting and signing the check without even looking at it.

My comment... I've seen guys going over the bill just like in every other part of the world. Girls I dated tended to look over the bill it to make sure it's correct and I've seen the same behavior with friends.

In Russia, having a man pay for you obligates you to absolutely nothing

Wife says, oh yeah some guys think it does!

inherent sense of commitment

Wife says it's exactly the opposite in her town and generation. She says the trend is guys seeking married women as girlfriends to avoid commitment entirely and that the girls are usually the ones keeping tabs on their men, not the other way around.

But there isn’t any close approximation of “friends-with-benefits”

Wife says it's common. I can confirm it not an unknown concept.

with great sex comes great responsibility

Wife says, huh? No, not always. I can confirm that my Russian guy friends don't always (or ever?) think this way.

My boyfriend cheated on me...

Wife agrees, cheating is common, but it's not just the men who cheat.

There you have. My wife agrees that there are 'men like this' as in possessive, cheating, macho guys that will fight over you and maybe rough you up. The general stereotype is ok. When it gets to the specifics, a lot of the observations didn't ring true for her. She admits they might ring true for others. Not all Russians are the same.

That's why I wrote 'with slight modifications'.

[SANDRO43]

What a talented writer! I look forward to her musings on Russian language.

An eye-opener, I had no idea that socks could be that important to the female mind .

[lordtiberius]

You contradict the deference paid to RUW by appealing to an RW.

Misha, Bruk didnt piroot the Jersey boys, sons of anarxhy and rednecks bc RMs are famaliar.

Her entire thesis is how feminism has failed her.  No one disputes that.

[Boethius]

Her entire thesis is how feminism has failed her

I think you are reading too much into the article.

[lordtiberius]

ha ha

if that is so can you tell me if she has revealed any inner conflicts and if she did what are they?

[I/O]

Shoes with laces?

Lol, yes, I noticed that one also - in one breath she's portraying an image of the hottest lay in town and the next of something with legs like Mrs Doubtfire......
 
Gentlemen, if I may - look at it like this, the article is an amusing read so credit where it's due, for maintaining the readers attention. Most things one reads will leave the reader with perhaps one useful point - pick yours out of the article and ignore the rest if that suits.
 
The Russian women present will continue to have fun pulling the AM chains and all power to them for the light amusement but perhaps they might consider sending the writer down here, where the stereotypical reputation of the Australian males propensity for foreplay is to walk through the door and shout, "Honey, I'm home"...!!
 
 

[GQBlues]

...If I want to learn what I can expect, I ask people who are similar to me who put themselves in similar situations. When I seek advice on what to do, I listen to people similar to me who have achieved what I want to achieve. When I seek advice on what to avoid, I listen to people similar to me who have failed in what I want to achieve.

The key is that I'd listen primarily to people that are similar to me. That's a concept lost on this forum where you have guys of vast age differences and walks of lifes arguing about dating expecting their experiences to compare, both in Russia and back home. I don't know about you guys, but I don't expect my gramps' dating life to match mine...

LOL!! 
 
Frankly, I am not at all surprise how *some* can relate to the gist in Diana's article. Drunken losers and the tramps that adore them. It's the MOB folks. 
 

... I've seen this attitude on these forums before, where an 'RW's opinion must trump all and I don't get it...

Actually, I'm not at all surprise about this either. Which is why I've said upthread any reader should remember the classification of men that make up the vast majority of the men in this pursuit. Especially those who repeat the process despite mind-numbing train crashes and previous failures.

[GQBlues]

GQ,

 Why not just show the article to your wife? I would like to hear her opinion of the article. I am no expert on dating Russian men....and neither are you.

She said she never date drunken losers who has nothing else going in their lives but drink and get into fights.
 
What about you? What did you GF tell you? Does she have experiences dating these types of Russian men she'd like to share with us?
 
Despite unpopular opinion, I firmly believe there are a vast multitude of Russian men who doesn't fit the stereotyped Diana and the likes hang out with.

[I/O]

Guys, leave your spouses / girlfriends out of this one - quite unbecoming.