Packing it in (almost)

[Son of Clyde]

I was seriously thinking about packing it all in and just leaving RWD and the other boards behind. I rarely look at RWG anymore.

My wife sees no value posting anything personal here or sharing our lives with others. Maybe we need to resolve these problems together and not with outside help.

What I have been experiencing with her is her first year of adjustment to a totally different country and in some ways it is disappointing to her. This "land of opportunity" does not present instantaneous opportunity and maybe some ladies think it will be easier from day one. Hell, the people living here must struggle too with the rising gasoline, housing and other living expenses.

As far as I can see, she will do well in this country but some of her images of the US have been shattered. Life can be difficult here. Why would the US be any different? If I moved to Eastern Europe it would not be perfect either.

So as far as I am concerned my days of posting personal things are over. Maybe I will add my 2 cents from time to time if it is worth anything.

I have learned a lot about myself and living with a foreign woman. She is a woman with the same dreams in the US or in Ukraine. I have to do my best to provide my love and support.

I hope this post makes sense to someone. I posted several swan songs on RWG but I don't want to leave RWD for good. This is a great group of people and Dan has done a great job with the board.

[catzenmouse]

SoC,

 I hope that you decide to stick around. Over the past year plus I feel that you have learned some great and valuable things that many folks here can benefit from. A lot here keep the personal stuff off of here but still offer a wealth of information to those who are often grasping at straws and don't know enough to sort out fact from fantasy.

 You've made some friends here as well and if you choose to do so you can speak with them offline about specific issues that are not appropriate to put out to the general public.

Ken

[Turboguy]

I think any time you share your personal side of things you are exposing yourself to a risk of someone attacking you for it.    I think most everyone is a good person in most ways but there are those who get far to blunt in their comments and those who take a little statement and blow it into a signifigant event that really only exists in thier mind.

I think you have learned from RWD as Ken commented but I think a lot of us have learned a lot from you.  We have been able to live some of your struggles and successes with you and we are better people for it.  I do hope even if you don't share your personal things in the future that you do continue to contrubute.  You have a lot of experince and make RWD a better place.

 

[JPjr]

Thanks SOC, and there is an old saying "Keep your cards close to your chest".:dude:

[Shadow]

SOC, don't forget to drop in to chat now and then.

I hope you stick to this and will not in a months time post again when you are confroted with the next (small or big) problem. You made some friends on the boards, and I am sure they are more than willing to hear you out and give you some advice.

And just every now and then slip in hidden messages like

[line]

Hi

Even if I do not post a

Lot I would like to tell

People I am fine.

[line]

[rose]

SoC, I'm sorry to hear that you are leaving.

As to your wife, who said that it should be easy here? Nothing comes for free in this world. I feel that by again trying to please her and again following her orders you deny your own personality.

If it is so difficult for her here, why did she refused to talk to me? I think I could give her a lot of good advices, and one of them definitely would be "acceptance".

Hope to hear from you time from time. All the best!

[Taz]

SOC- I have one question for you. Was you wife marrying YOU or your COUNTRY?

Leaving the board is NOT going to save your marriage. This is not the CAUSE of it.

Anyway good luck! I wish you the best. You have your hands full with how you have described your wife. You and your country will never meet her expectations and you will spend your life, until the point you divorce, trying to chase/meet her expectations. You are too nice of a guy and she will use this against.

All the best!

[Oosik]

For gods sake leave Baltimore!!!!

With out having been there, it is a crime ridden, high tax, crowded politically correct zoo. I bet your gov't is involved in everything, and most gov't functionaries in your state are underqualified, over-secure affermative action hires. If I had to live in Maryland, particularly Baltimore, I'D be disenchanted with the land of opportunity too.

Even if you could just move to VA, life would be better.

[Maxx]

I agree with Oosik. Make the move West and into an area that makes your wife feel more secure. My sister's daughters grew up in an area like Baltimore and everytime they had another child I would ask if the baby was going to be a "Vice Lord" or a "Gangsta Disciple". Move to where there is more "little animals" (squirrels, chipmonks and rabbits) as your wife likes those. That is a more suburban environment.    

Also it takes at least a year for the culture shock to wear off. Then another year before they actually like America. So I have been told.

SOC please don't disappear on us.

Maxx  

 

[wxman]

SOC,

I wish you best and i think you are wise in your decision not to post personal information about your marriage. You and your wife must decide what is best for your family, whether moving or not. No place is perfect and you will never find such a place. Since I have never lived in Baltimore or anywhere else in Maryland, I will not pass judgement. I am am sure there are just as many happy couples who have spent a lifetime together in your city and state as there are elsewhere in this country. People make relationships work, not locations.

 

[Daknack]

For gods sake leave Baltimore!!!!

With out having been there, it is a crime ridden, high tax, crowded politically correct zoo. I bet your gov't is involved in everything, and most gov't functionaries in your state are underqualified, over-secure affermative action hires. If I had to live in Maryland, particularly Baltimore, I'D be disenchanted with the land of opportunity too.

Even if you could just move to VA, life would be better.

 

Im a conservative and I love Baltimore and living here... dont usually agree with the government or the people though.

SoC make sure you stay in touch and we still get together from time to time.

[Oosik]

SOC,

I wish you best and i think you are wise in your decision not to post personal information about your marriage. You and your wife must decide what is best for your family, whether moving or not. No place is perfect and you will never find such a place. Since I have never lived in Baltimore or anywhere else in Maryland, I will not pass judgement. I am am sure there are just as many happy couples who have spent a lifetime together in your city and state as there are elsewhere in this country. People make relationships work, not locations.

 

Blah blah blah. Don't smear honey on the situation. As you say you are not qualified to pass judgement, how can you be qualified to say you are sure it is fine? Read some stats, check out the washington times, which covers news in the area. Locations can screw up a relationship easy, too.

http://www.murderland.org/   28 murders in baltimore in the 34 days that this guy started his local blog about crime.

http://www.cnn.com/ALLPOLITICS/1997/10/20/time/special.money.html  Baltimore educational mess.

http://www.usdoj.gov/ndic/pubs1/1827/overview.htm DOJ drug overview of maryland. Check out the drug dealing gangs they list.

http://www.stmarystoday.com/gangs_on_the_rise.htm  Maryland Homeland Security says Maryland has the highest gang activity, yet the artilce has politicians who control the state saying it isn't a problem, or that they don't want a gang database because it may "scar" young people.

No place is perfect, but some places are $h1T holes. Get your woman out of there. She may be petrified just from watching the news or hearing the police sirens day and night.

 

 

[Admin]

For gods sake leave Baltimore!!!!

With out having been there, it is a crime ridden, high tax, crowded politically correct zoo. I bet your gov't is involved in everything, and most gov't functionaries in your state are underqualified, over-secure affermative action hires. If I had to live in Maryland, particularly Baltimore, I'D be disenchanted with the land of opportunity too.

Even if you could just move to VA, life would be better.

Oosik,

Knock off the political commentary.

- Dan

[PeeWee]

For gods sake leave Baltimore!!!!

With out having been there, it is a crime ridden, high tax, crowded politically correct zoo. I bet your gov't is involved in everything, and most gov't functionaries in your state are underqualified, over-secure affermative action hires. If I had to live in Maryland, particularly Baltimore, I'D be disenchanted with the land of opportunity too.

Even if you could just move to VA, life would be better.

Oosik,

Knock off the political commentary.

- Dan[/quote]
Even in his attempt to leave Clyde has just given me yet another lesson. Prepare your lady as best you can for what it is she is about to do. Yesterday I was asked by Lena if AW were really like what she sees the women in Sex in the City doing. Their window to the world is television and the movies. It took me some time to explain AW to to her. I have told her how hard life is here with regard to jobs and expenses. I have tried to be as real as possible without sugar coating. In fact I may just embelish that a bit in favor of the negative. Under promise and then over deliver, in other words.

 

Peewee

[wxman]

SOC,

I wish you best and i think you are wise in your decision not to post personal information about your marriage. You and your wife must decide what is best for your family, whether moving or not. No place is perfect and you will never find such a place. Since I have never lived in Baltimore or anywhere else in Maryland, I will not pass judgement. I am am sure there are just as many happy couples who have spent a lifetime together in your city and state as there are elsewhere in this country. People make relationships work, not locations.

 

Blah blah blah. Don't smear honey on the situation. As you say you are not qualified to pass judgement, how can you be qualified to say you are sure it is fine? Read some stats, check out the washington times, which covers news in the area. Locations can screw up a relationship easy, too.

http://www.murderland.org/   28 murders in baltimore in the 34 days that this guy started his local blog about crime.

http://www.cnn.com/ALLPOLITICS/1997/10/20/time/special.money.html  Baltimore educational mess.

http://www.usdoj.gov/ndic/pubs1/1827/overview.htm DOJ drug overview of maryland. Check out the drug dealing gangs they list.

http://www.stmarystoday.com/gangs_on_the_rise.htm  Maryland Homeland Security says Maryland has the highest gang activity, yet the artilce has politicians who control the state saying it isn't a problem, or that they don't want a gang database because it may "scar" young people.

No place is perfect, but some places are $h1T holes. Get your woman out of there. She may be petrified just from watching the news or hearing the police sirens day and night.

 

 
[/quote]

Read the true stats on Baltimore and make your own judgement:

http://www.ci.baltimore.md.us/news/press/041028.html

and:

http://baltimore.areaconnect.com/crime/compare.htm?c1=Baltimore&s1=MD&c2=boise&s2=ID

http://baltimore.areaconnect.com/crime/compare.htm?c1=Sioux+falls&s1=SD&c2=Boise&s2=ID

http://baltimore.areaconnect.com/crime/compare.htm?c1=Sioux+Falls&s1=SD&c2=Baltimore&s2=MD

SOC, don't move to Boise or my city Sioux Falls.  Your wife has a greater chance of getting raped there than in Baltimore. Boise is about the size of my city, Sioux Falls. One thing small cities like to do is make themselves sound better than big cities. No one ever tells you that small town America have a higher child pregnancy rate, higher rate of under aged drinking, higher percentage rate of meth use and on an on. We have problems just like every other city, but we choose to ignore them and prefer to be self righteous and pass judgement on the bigger cities.

Plus you are more likely to get divorced in Idaho. Idaho has one of the highest divorce rates, while Maryland has one of the lowest.

http://www.divorcemag.com/statistics/statsUS2.shtml

[PeeWee]

SOC,

I wish you best and i think you are wise in your decision not to post personal information about your marriage. You and your wife must decide what is best for your family, whether moving or not. No place is perfect and you will never find such a place. Since I have never lived in Baltimore or anywhere else in Maryland, I will not pass judgement. I am am sure there are just as many happy couples who have spent a lifetime together in your city and state as there are elsewhere in this country. People make relationships work, not locations.

 

Blah blah blah. Don't smear honey on the situation. As you say you are not qualified to pass judgement, how can you be qualified to say you are sure it is fine? Read some stats, check out the washington times, which covers news in the area. Locations can screw up a relationship easy, too.

http://www.murderland.org/   28 murders in baltimore in the 34 days that this guy started his local blog about crime.

http://www.cnn.com/ALLPOLITICS/1997/10/20/time/special.money.html  Baltimore educational mess.

http://www.usdoj.gov/ndic/pubs1/1827/overview.htm DOJ drug overview of maryland. Check out the drug dealing gangs they list.

http://www.stmarystoday.com/gangs_on_the_rise.htm  Maryland Homeland Security says Maryland has the highest gang activity, yet the artilce has politicians who control the state saying it isn't a problem, or that they don't want a gang database because it may "scar" young people.

No place is perfect, but some places are $h1T holes. Get your woman out of there. She may be petrified just from watching the news or hearing the police sirens day and night.

 

 
[/quote]
Read the true stats on Baltimore and make your own judgement:

http://www.ci.baltimore.md.us/news/press/041028.html

and:

http://baltimore.areaconnect.com/crime/compare.htm?c1=Baltimore&s1=MD&c2=boise&s2=ID

SOC, don't move to Boise. Your wife has a greater chance of getting raped there than in Baltimore. Boise is about the size of my city, Sioux Falls. One thing small cities like to do is make themselves sound better than big cities. No one ever tells you that small town America have a higher child pregnancy rate, higher rate of under aged drinking, higher percentage rate of meth use and on an on. We have problems just like every other city, but we choose to ignore them and prefer to be self righteous and pass judgement on the bigger cities.
[/quote]
Maybe you consider living in Bellevue/Redmond, Washington. I had heard there are more millionaries living there, per capita, than anywhere in the US. Lots of exotic cars parked in the numerous car lots anyway.

Peewee

[wxman]

Maybe you consider living in Bellevue/Redmond, Washington. I had heard there are more millionaries living there, per capita, than anywhere in the US. Lots of exotic cars parked in the numerous car lots anyway.

Peewee

 

I have been to Washington, and agree with Pee Wee.  It is a beautiful state, and no state income taxes. 2 major pluses. Not a millionaire yet, so I probably won't live Bellevue/Redmond. However, there are many other nice places in Washington!

[PeeWee]

Maybe you consider living in Bellevue/Redmond, Washington. I had heard there are more millionaries living there, per capita, than anywhere in the US. Lots of exotic cars parked in the numerous car lots anyway.

Peewee

 

I have been to Washington, and agree with Pee Wee.  It is a beautiful state, and no state income taxes. 2 major pluses. Not a millionaire yet, so I probably won't live Bellevue/Redmond. However, there are many other nice places in Washington!
[/quote]
yep, the only thing I dislike about the state is that we have too many Metrosexuals here. What a bunch of pussys these guys are. How is it that with a population that is made up of 50% males that we end up electing women to the governorship and two senators? I am embarrased for my Washington brothers to allow women to run their lives like that. I will say, however, that health care issues are job one in this state. And anything to do with childern too. Will some just shot me and end it now for me?

Peewee

[Son of Clyde]

Now that I am not posting I should not tell you that she has her interview date on June 6. :cool:

[Turboguy]

I am glad you did not tell us that Clyde,  Best of luck.  I am sure it will go well.

[Shadow]

SOC please do not post anything about how it went. :cool:

[catzenmouse]

I echo Turbo's and Shadow's post. Good thing we don't know. Best Wishes! :cool:

[PeeWee]

[user=130]Son of Clyde[/user] wrote:

Now that I am not posting I should not tell you that she has her interview date on June 6. :cool:

yes, and this was a great non post, Clyde. Keep it up, lad.

 

Peewee

[jb]

Clyde,

Contrary to what you may think, I bear you no ill will. 

When you mention an interview in June, I have to assume you are referring to the AOS GC (conditional) interview.  It is always a thrill to have jumped through one more hoop for the BCIS towards immigration for your loved ones.  One more small step in the process will be behind you.

Regards posting here, it may have escaped you, but although I post regularly, I rarely post anything regarding my marriage except those positive things which occur.  I like to brag on the accomplishments of the wife and step-kids, but you'll never hear a word from me about a discussion we've had that is personal in nature.

[Oosik]

Peewee, there is no comparison between the two cities? Are you nuts? Maybe someone can find the % of crimes solved. I suspect that because of a perception(which is true) that Baltimore cops are incompetent, many crimes go unreported, which would make things much worse than those horrible numbers even indicate. Heck, here, someone shot a dog with a arrow, and it was on the news for a week while they tried to find the culprit.