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Author Topic: Engagement Rings  (Read 8209 times)

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Offline viking

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Engagement Rings
« on: April 20, 2006, 06:40:00 PM »
Hopefully I have picked the best slot to ask this question.

Most AWs 'appreciate' or 'expect' the typical diamond engagement ring. Does this also apply to RWs? Or is there some other type of preference over there?

And..how many of you made it clear you were coming over with a ring versus "surprise"?
Tom Hanks in Castaway: You never know what the tide may bring in.
Viking: But you still need to walk along the beach to find it.

Offline Oosik

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« Reply #1 on: April 20, 2006, 07:44:08 PM »
They don't expect it from their men.

Don't buy it here, buy it there and don't fall for the DeBeers crap, spend a couple hundred in a store with her.

Don't tell her it is coming, just take her to a jewelry store and buy her something that is nice there. If the price range there is $50-$500, get her something in the upper range of that. In my fiance's town, the store had mostly $50-$300, I got her one that costs $150 and she was tickled pink.

Slapping a huge rock on her will perpetuate the myth that you are rich, and she will expect you to treat her that way here.

I think of witchdoctor from another board, married a 20 year old when he was 40, put a $25,000 ring on her finger. That kind of extravigance was meant to impress his friends, not show her he loves her.

Offline PeeWee

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« Reply #2 on: April 20, 2006, 08:56:54 PM »
Quote from: viking
Hopefully I have picked the best slot to ask this question.

Most AWs 'appreciate' or 'expect' the typical diamond engagement ring. Does this also apply to RWs? Or is there some other type of preference over there?

And..how many of you made it clear you were coming over with a ring versus "surprise"?

A gold ring on her right hand, opposite the married finger (left in US) will do the trick for her. Why do more than you have to. Spend what you would have spent on a diamond on the honeymoon instead. That's my idea anyway.

I did understand that the Eastern Europeans do not follow an engagement process as we Western do. So what I did was  to buy the gold band. I gave it to her along with a gold chain. I told her to wear it as a necklace to remember me by. She did and was delighted to do so. Symolism goes a long way.

Peewee

Offline dfb

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« Reply #3 on: April 20, 2006, 09:14:13 PM »
About 7 years ago, I went to Minsk with the intentions on shopping for our rings.  I let her know ahead of time, and she could hardly wait for that day.  We purchased our wedding bands and her diamond ring in Minsk at a government store.  It was a fun experience.  The prices at the private stores were overpriced.  

The gold mixture has a different chemical composition in the FSU than the US; the gold has a rose color instead of yellow.  In the US, purchasing jewelry has been awkward trying to color match the wedding rings.  Since then, I have been seeing stores starting to stock the rose gold as a standard item.  Otherwise, I have been having jewelry custom made in the rose gold.  The jewelry doesn't cost any more than yellow gold, and is actually more fun and interesting that just buying off of the shelf.

« Last Edit: April 20, 2006, 09:28:00 PM by dfb »

Offline Oosik

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« Reply #4 on: April 20, 2006, 09:27:53 PM »
My fiance's ring is a gold band with diamond chips in it in a spread  zig zag pattern, maybe 10 chips (or they could be small cut diamonds, I  didn't pull out the loupe or stare at it too long). It is better than  the basic band, but not extravigant. Cost $150 there, and she really  liked it.

Offline viking

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« Reply #5 on: April 21, 2006, 08:57:15 AM »
Thanks everyone. $25,000 is way out of my league but I was going to pop for a few thou. $150 sounds a whole lot better.
Tom Hanks in Castaway: You never know what the tide may bring in.
Viking: But you still need to walk along the beach to find it.

Offline jb

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« Reply #6 on: April 21, 2006, 09:08:29 AM »
I've got a news flash for some of you cheap skates.   If you give a poor gift for an engagement ring your girl will realize this when she gets here and sees the reality of American custom.  She will likely be the only gal walking around without a diamond of some size on her finger.

You will begin to diminish in stature and her respect for you will go down as soon as she comes to understand you treated her with less regard than you would have an AW.  No woman likes to think she was bought too cheap.

Offline MandM

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« Reply #7 on: April 21, 2006, 09:35:01 AM »
Agree with jb. May be while she is in Russia, she'll be happy with a $50 ring, but when she comes to US she'll soon find out what's what and you'll be in trouble. If you can afford it, buy a more expensive ring. The ring symbolises your love for God's sake!

Offline viking

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« Reply #8 on: April 21, 2006, 09:39:45 AM »
jb

You make sense. And I agree. My plan was to buy something nice here and bring it with me. Having done this before I know the drill. But when I hear that the custom of spending big bucks is lost in the translation it gives me pause for thought. Hence the post. I know what I want to do, have the fantasy of the candle lit dinner, bended knee, sparkling stone in candle light, and so forth. To go to a store, pick up an inexpensive ring and put it on her finger there does not really turn my crank, unless it is the prelude to something better. Maybe both scenarios? A nice thrill in the morning and a better one in the evening?
Tom Hanks in Castaway: You never know what the tide may bring in.
Viking: But you still need to walk along the beach to find it.

Offline jb

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« Reply #9 on: April 21, 2006, 09:45:24 AM »
There are ways to economize without appearing cheap.  For example, this 3+ ct stone can be had for less than a grand.  A jeweler could make it into a very nice ring.  It is a real, "dug from the earth",  gemstone, not a rhinestone or a cheap imitation man-made diamond.



Offline viking

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« Reply #10 on: April 21, 2006, 09:56:14 AM »
jp

I know diamonds. A 3 ct anything is going to attract a lot of attention. Ivana Trump might wear one, but she is in a different league. I think a really nice quality stone, on the order of an 'average' size, (very common these days is .5 to .7ct)) would be more than adequate. Even in this range you are looking at $3K or so.
Tom Hanks in Castaway: You never know what the tide may bring in.
Viking: But you still need to walk along the beach to find it.

Offline jb

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« Reply #11 on: April 21, 2006, 10:10:07 AM »
If you know about diamonds you should know there are 3 other precious stones, rubies, emeralds, and sapphires, all others are classed as semi-precious.  The stone pictured is a white sapphire, and is indistinguable from a white diamond in all regards except a hardness test. (It is a 9.0 on the Mohs scale where the diamond is a 10)

It makes a beautiful ring, and BTW, a sapphire [size="-1"]symbolizes faithfulness, so it really makes a perfect engagement ring.
[/size]

Offline dfb

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« Reply #12 on: April 21, 2006, 10:25:05 AM »
A few months after my wife arrived, she did feel bad about the diamond ring (not the wedding bands).  At the time we were shopping, she did not want us to spend much money on the diamond ring when there was going to be so many other expenses with her immigration.  After she arrived, she regretted that decision, so we selected a ring with a ruby & 2 diamonds for our first anniversary (color matched the gold).  She wears the ruby and wedding band on her left hand and the original on the right hand.  Most importantly, she participated in all of the purchases; it was very importance that she take part in selecting the rings since she was going to wear them 24/7.  Some women want the surprise, some want to select the ring.  Good luck on guessing what she wants.

Offline jb

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« Reply #13 on: April 21, 2006, 10:34:19 AM »
If you are hung up on having to have a diamond, I just looked and here is a 1.04 ct loose stone that can be bought for a few hundred, not a few thousand.  Of course, it's an Austrailian stone, not south African, so DeBeers isn't involved in the pricing.








Offline viking

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« Reply #14 on: April 21, 2006, 10:35:08 AM »
Never really considered a white sapphire. It was always a diamond. I'll look into this tonight. Thanks.
Tom Hanks in Castaway: You never know what the tide may bring in.
Viking: But you still need to walk along the beach to find it.

Offline LatinSwede

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« Reply #15 on: April 21, 2006, 11:12:33 AM »
We're both just getting the wedding bands.  I don't care how some other stom Amerikaanse Klootzak spends his money on his dachteloos Amerikaanse teef.  Me and mijn Okrainse liefje are going to jump in my sweet black VW Beetle.  Then we're headed to our romantic scenis get away to a lovely part of Virginia.  It's just the 2 of us going off to say our "I do's".  I've been to my relatives wedding over here in states, and find them over priced and tacky spectacles.  My loving midwest relatives doing the conga line, the twist, and the chicken dance, is sight I don't want my sweetheart to endure.  For the price of an engagement ring, I can take her to my own special paradise, Panama and even aquire some modest property.  Also, we'd still have enough for a trip back to Odessa, and even a side trip to Sohphiesky park.

IMO, it's better to let people think I don't have much.  That way, I don't have to worry about so many people with their hand out.  Let them get a little hunk of rock, while I'm discretely purchasing a nice estate in Central America.
« Last Edit: April 21, 2006, 11:15:00 AM by LatinSwede »

Offline Daknack

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« Reply #16 on: April 21, 2006, 03:51:06 PM »
Heres my advice.  If you spend alot of money on a ring you should be hit in the head with a big stone (instead of putting one on someones finger).  I bought a HUGELY expensive ring for my first wife.  It was a very big mistake, and not just because when we divorced expensive ring went bye-bye.  You are building a life with a woman, and a ring while it might look nice is not going to help you build that life.  My expendature for a ring would have been better spent saving for our retirement, or putting a bigger downpayment on a house.  Please do not be a dumbass like I was.  Learn from my stupidity.  That few thousand you were going to spend on a ring can go to something more practical like a car for her to get around in, or in fixing up the house.  When you get married the goal is a life TOGETHER and your focus should be on that.  In a marriage you should think of the good of the marriage first, your spouse second, your kids third (if applicable), and yourself dead ass last.

Offline Jet

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« Reply #17 on: April 21, 2006, 06:57:02 PM »
Quote from: viking
jb

You make sense. And I agree. My plan was to buy something nice here and bring it with me. Having done this before I know the drill. But when I hear that the custom of spending big bucks is lost in the translation it gives me pause for thought. Hence the post. I know what I want to do, have the fantasy of the candle lit dinner, bended knee, sparkling stone in candle light, and so forth. To go to a store, pick up an inexpensive ring and put it on her finger there does not really turn my crank, unless it is the prelude to something better. Maybe both scenarios? A nice thrill in the morning and a better one in the evening?

In my case, I bought the ring here - a nice marquis cut 1/2c/vs-1/E, but not ridiculously expensive. When she accepted it she was thrilled, but even moreso when I took the time to explain the tradition in western culture, and exactly what it meant for me to give & her to wear it. After she recieved the visa, Lil's parents accompanied us on a trip to N. Novgorod to select the wedding rings. It was an all day affair, going from shop to shop, having lunch at one of the better sidewalk cafe`s and finally deciding on her exact favorite (her band is slightly wider than mine at 9mm/7.5mm). The grand total for both was around $82.00. Being a romantic, I really liked the idea that the rings came from Russia. Lil understands the price of them was rather cheap, having been here for a few years now, but at the time she was stunned that I'd drop that much cash so easily.
Every action in company ought to be done with some sign of respect to those that are present. ~ Geo. Washington

Offline Oosik

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« Reply #18 on: April 21, 2006, 09:31:22 PM »
If you buy it together in her country, and if it is a nice one based on the selections available in the store, then she will be happy. Unless she is shallow.

Lyuda is a practical woman, I have no doubt that she would rather have that extra $1,000 go towards a car. Lyuda is even afraid to wear this ring on the bus, for fear of being robbed of it. I do like the idea of buying a loose stone from AUZ, though. A while back walmart had birthstone rings, where the stones were heart shaped. I think it would be cool to get her stone and mine in birthstones, and have one on either side of a modest rock. Maybe that would be a good wedding ring. But either way, I'd get the first ring there, with her.

"The bigger the rock, the smaller the ****"

Offline Turboguy

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« Reply #19 on: April 21, 2006, 09:58:56 PM »
Viking, by a tiny little diamond and tell her you have heard of robberies where they cut the finger off to get the ring and you love her too much to put her at risk.

Offline PeeWee

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« Reply #20 on: April 21, 2006, 11:43:26 PM »
Quote from: Turboguy
Viking, by a tiny little diamond and tell her you have heard of robberies where they cut the finger off to get the ring and you love her too much to put her at risk.

LOL!

 

Peewee

Offline viking

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« Reply #21 on: April 22, 2006, 09:37:53 AM »
Jet,

Yep, that was about the same deal I was thinking of, only a round solitaire. Pretty much the same qualties as well. Nice size, nice color and sparkles like the dickens.
Tom Hanks in Castaway: You never know what the tide may bring in.
Viking: But you still need to walk along the beach to find it.

Offline LatinSwede

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« Reply #22 on: April 22, 2006, 10:10:42 AM »
Quote from: Turboguy
Viking, by a tiny little diamond and tell her you have heard of robberies where they cut the finger off to get the ring and you love her too much to put her at risk.

 

Down in Latin America, that is a very valid concern.  Even in Panama, I would not let my sweetheart wear jewlery.  Cutting off of fingers is something that happens in Columbia, Venuzuela, and Brasil.  BTW, Gold jewelry is way cheaper in Panama.  The little jewelry stores, kind of parralel what I see in Ukraine.

Offline Captmonk1

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« Reply #23 on: April 22, 2006, 10:31:54 AM »
Take a decent ring with you. If you love her when she gets back to the U.S. , surprise her with a real ring. (diamond engagement)

Offline LatinSwede

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« Reply #24 on: April 22, 2006, 12:39:42 PM »
I'm just waiting until I get on the other end, to get our bands.  I'm worried about Ukrainski Militsya making me pay a redicuolous "tax" or "confiscate" them.  I use the terms sarcastically.

 

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