Is It Smart To Be "THE" One Week Wonder

[Turboguy]

Gosh, this must be what a teen aged girl feels like when she has to tell her parents she's pregnant.   But  ah  ah  ah,  jb, I agree with you. 

I don't have the opinion that being a one week wonder is wrong.   I do think it is a mistake if you are a one week wonder to not go back and visit while you are waiting for the visa to come through.  Visa applications can always be withdrawn if follow up trips show the move to be a mistake but I think that even with phone calls and e-mails building a relationship is a little like building a house you need to keep adding bricks and boards if you ever want to get it done.

I realize in some cases for individual reasons that can't be but I do see it as the proper way of doing things.   Where I do disagree with you is the feeling that those who can not make follow up trips or choose not to are doomed.   I don't see it as a situation as you do, where the girl has devastated her life to come in the hopes of marrying some guy who is deficient or derelict in his life and has basically done an evil thing.  The gal made her choices.  She made herself available with an agency or service, she said yes to him.  Yes, it may be a case of two strangers meeting when they get off the plane and it may not work, but even in those cases most of the time it does.  Life is a gamble.  Walking across a street can get you killed.

So, you have never fallen in love at first site.  Humm, I can look through a catalog of Russian gals and fall in love at first site on every page.

[Bruno]

I don't have the opinion that being a one week wonder is wrong.

Maybe the word "wonder" in "one week wonder" have a other meaning... like : "it is a wonder to make it in one week"... OWW is like lotery... one big winner and a lot of loser...

So, you have never fallen in love at first site.  Humm, I can look through a catalog of Russian gals and fall in love at first site on every page.

Yes, it is what JB call lust factor... fall in love of a cute body ( photo ) is only lust... real love need deep knowledge of the other... not possible when reading/looking a simple profile...

[Turboguy]

I agree that is lust not love Bruno.  I was just joking with that comment.  I think a lot of the love felt by one week wonders is probably lust as well but you do have at least a toe in the door at establishing compatability.

I have a feeling that if there were statistics on "one week wonders"  you would find a lot more successes than you think.    Of course since there are no statistics what you think, what I think and what jb thinks are all just speculation and guesses.

[jb]

I have a feeling that if there were statistics on "one week wonders"  you would find a lot more successes than you think.    Of course since there are no statistics what you think, what I think "and what jb thinks" are all just speculation and guesses.

I believe there may be a grain of truth in this comment, but,,, since you lean towards "more successes" than failures, this misleads me to think you are one who makes a lot of left field excuses and long winded justifications for bad decisions.  I know enough about you by now to realize this is not truly the case, however you do beat the drums and tend the fires of "OWW'ism" often enough to mislead the rest of the board.  I know that you just love to argue with me and will do so over any topic.  I'm tempted of starting a topic entitled; "Ninety nine percent of all fire trucks in the USA are painted red", just to read your responses.

[Turboguy]

jb it is only a bad decision if it doesn't work.  Otherwise it was a great choice.  Actaully I started siding with the OOWism's over Photoguy when everyone was visciously tearing into the both of them beyond what I felt was proper.   

The truth of it is, that it exists, it will exist if you think it is right or not.  It may turn out good.  It may turn out bad, but you and I are not going to change it.  I too agree that if someone is going to follow that course they should make follow up visits.  Sometmes they can.  Properly followed up I have no bad feelings about someone being a one week wonder.  If they can and don't then I think that is not a good choice.  I don't think it makes them evil or dooms them.  I just think you have a bunch of people trying to make a better life for themselves and looking for their little slice of happiness.  I think it is good to offer suggestions, to offer advice and bad to beat them over the head with the clue bat and to call them evil abusers.

Firetrucks.  Well 99%.  Humm.  I do see some rescue vehicles used by fire comapnies that are white and in some backwoods places people use thier own POV"s as fire vehicles so if we can settle for 98% I will go along. 

[jb]

Awww, T/G, there you go, as predictable as the sunrise.  98%?

Can we just say that, personally, I consider it to be intellectual malfeasance to continually harp on the do-ability of OWW'ism?   I can understand that there are reasons why a man may not be able to make multi-jaunts to the Rodina.  Since we have all, or almost all, agreed that this is not the cheapest effort to embark upon, can't you see that most of those reasons are tied to income and money?  Can't afford the cost of more airfares means too poor to write a check that won't bounce.  Not enough vacation time translates to; too poor to take unpaid leave.  Complaints about the high cost of BCIS fees is read as; pinching pennies to get by on a hand to mouth budget.   If a man is living paycheck to paycheck, with no money in savings, quite frankly, I don't think he should be here in the first place.

You defended PG, Doug, when everyone started to pile on, you felt sorry for him, that's commendable, I also felt sorry for him, he was a lost soul.  However, the fact remains he made some terrible choices, and I for one, will not let pity stand in the way of honesty.  I remember clearly his original T/R.  He was dazed, confused, and unsure of the end result of his trip.  He spent 4.5 days with a girl who spoke not a word of English, during which time he didn't get a single kiss on the mouth.  The girl did not demonstrate one ounce of physical attraction or passion towards Doug during this almost one week.  That alone would have been enough to send just about any other man down the road to look for another woman.  Doug apparently didn't have the available resources at hand to do any of that so he decided to make the best of what most would have thought was a bad situation.

Of course, I could be wrong and they may now be happily married, but I would still discourage the methodology of that fairly classic OWW case.  Anyone with half a brain can see the folly of this.

Like it or not, this is where education and position come into play.  This is the big leagues, sand lot players are apt to get burned.   We see this everyday, scammers, GC whores, and pro-daters are there to take advantage of the unaware and the ill advised.   I'm not saying that Larissa was any of these things, but the fact is, Doug just didn't know one way or the other.  He bought the proverbial "pig in a poke".

[PeeWee]

After reading the last 5 posts it seems that everyone is thinking good here. You all might recall the brother in the movie A Foreign Affair who met his RW as he was boarding the plane in St Pete for his return to the US? His brother chose her for him and sent her to the airport to return with him. The last scene was so funny. The brothers had a pet Koi. The RW had just cooked him a great dinner to which he remarked something to the effect, "That was a great dinner. But what was it?" To which the RW appolgiticaly relplied, "It was fish but I am sorry there was but only one in the tank."

I think I am going to fall into the one week wonder class this time. After dating the Aeroflot flight attendant for three years and have it lead no where and me not getting any younger. I am going to just spend a lot of time on the phone and letters. We are going to meet this summer. I will again take my son with me so the two of them can meet as well. I should have a feel after that meeting which way I want to go with her, and she me.

Peewee

[Killer-B]

FWIW I happened to see Photo reading this thread late late last night - wish he would have chimed in

[KenC]

FWIW I happened to see Photo reading this thread late late last night - wish he would have chimed in

Whatever happened, with Photo, I want him to know that I wish him well.
KenC

[Son of Clyde]

I am a 14 day wonder and sometimes it does work out.¦nbsp;

As far as my being smart, I would think I am average or above average intelligence. Certainly no Einstein but I have survived for 56 years by doing some things right.

Please ignore nbsp; it is the first one in any of my posts.

[PeeWee]

I am a 14 day wonder and sometimes it does work out.¦nbsp;

As far as my being smart, I would think I am average or above average intelligence. Certainly no Einstein but I have survived for 56 years by doing some things right.

Please ignore nbsp; it is the first one in any of my posts.

Nice non post, Clydie. You keep not posting stuff and one day we will all miss you.

Peewee

[Markus]

Clyde,

Well, I hope you don't mind, but I've got your 14 days beat. That's why I'm the OWW. I don't know if you know, but I coined a thread about you after you left RWG. I congratulated everyone on seeing the results of their idiot responses, mainly to folks who were more interested in gaining support for their opinion, rather than caring about the reality of your questions. You know, it takes a man to post his situation on this board to  try and learn more about the situation. But, you received some responses from the "know it alls." I know it all, but I'm still trying to define what "all" means.

Mark

[PeeWee]

Clyde,

Well, I hope you don't mind, but I've got your 14 days beat. That's why I'm the OWW. I don't know if you know, but I coined a thread about you after you left RWG. I congratulated everyone on seeing the results of their idiot responses, mainly to folks who were more interested in gaining support for their opinion, rather than caring about the reality of your questions. You know, it takes a man to post his situation on this board to  try and learn more about the situation. But, you received some responses from the "know it alls." I know it all, but I'm still trying to define what "all" means.

Mark

I am heading in Mark's direction. As I have said before I dated an Aeroflot flight attendant for 3 years and then a gal from Vlad-k for two years. Five years later I am now communicating with doctor who lives in South Central Russia. I could go on with this forever but I am not getting any younger and retirement age us upon me. My son is just a few years away from graduating from university with a double major and I am them more free, incomewise, to support a lady and her son.

I am just going to go for it this time. Between now and August I plan on daily communication via phone and email. Then I will fly her, and maybe her son, myself and my son for a week or so visit somewhere in China. I;ll see how the family dynamics work and how the indivudual dynamics work and then I will know my next move. By the time she gets here I will have been into this relationship two years for a total of seven for all RW combined. That is enough, or should I try for ten years? No, I am on the one week wonder time table now.

Peewee

[Jumper]

You gentlemen sway way too often off topic! sheesh ! LOL


Mark simply asked if it was smart to be well..  *Mark*

He dint ask if it was smart to be *a* one week wonder.
He asked if it was smart to be THE one week wonder.


He din't ask if he was a smart man ,
or if he was a  smart ass!
just if it was smart "to be" him.

I think only his wife can answer that question with any reliabilty.
 


BTW , hows it going Mark?
Good to hear that she finally arrived!

[PeeWee]

You gentlemen sway way too often off topic! sheesh ! LOL


Mark simply asked if it was smart to be well..  *Mark*

not if it was smart to be a one week wonder.
smart to be THE one week wonder.

not if he was a smart man , or a smart ass!
just if it was smart "to be" him.

I think only his wife can answer that question with any reliabilty.
 


BTW , hows it going Mark?
Good to hear that she finally arrived!

It's working for Mark and that's what he cares about. You can be a successful one week wonder, and that is great, if not you'll end up a one week blunder.

Peewee

[Captmonk1]

I have seen "OneWeekWonder" post on other boards for a while now. He/you certainly has a chip on his shoulder regarding the one week wonder thing. I think it's good that you constantly defend yourself being who you are...

My problem with you is that I have never read any kind of update on you and your wife. I have never seen any pictures. I have no clue how old you are nor how old she is. There are no details on your marriage that I have ever read. I iwll be honest, that a few times I have wondered if you had made the whole thing up because of lack of details. I would LOVE to hear how things have been going since November 2005.

Frankly and honestly I don't believe that you are a true one week wonder at least in my thoughts of what that is. In my mind, a one week wonder is someone who goes to the FSU, meets a girl for a week or two...asks her to marry him and the next time he see's her is when she is getting off the plane in America. Your story isn't even close to that.

In regards to your actual question, I have no idea if it's smart to be "THE"  OneWeekWonder....because I have no details on what's been going on in your life.

Being a One Week Wonder I don't believe is the safest thing to do. I am not going to call it..."not smart" because I know it works out a lot of times.

Brad

[jb]

Brad,

You have just opened a new can of worms here.

[BC]

ROFL jb..

Round 99,998!  Get ready to rrrruuummmmbbblll !!

[edit] ... well maybe not such a good idea.. LOL

[Leslie]

Brad,

Your post reflects most of my thoughts on OWW.

He calls himself a "One Week Wonder" but by what he has posted he did not act like one.

The ONLY justification he has ever given for being a "One Week Wonder" was his own success.

He has revealed NOTHING about his own experience or relationship.

I long ago concluded that he was a troll with a grudge.

[Markus]

AJ,

I really enjoy reading intellectual perception, manifested in words. You hit the nail on the head, although not specific, I'm a "Smart A.."  I stated that my title was an "attention getter" and I didn't intend the subject to be about a OWW. But, you picked up on the fact that I specifically referred to "the" OWW, being me. So, one could say is it smart to be me?  Of course, I would be opening myself up to what I normally receive from my friends so I could not be that specific. My wife is doing fine. I have her pulling for the Dallas Mavericks and she already dislikes the Cowboys because of her English teacher (I'm a Cowboy fan). Otherwise, my wife arriving in the U.S. was much easier than I thought except for the normal things that comes from being married.  I'm a blessed man.  There was no cultural shock and threads on that subject can be relevant, but, didn't pertain to my wife. She is one smart lady, much smarter than I am.

Captmonk1,

Your definition of a OWW is what some people think. That defintion would be a person meeting a lady by chance and proposing during that 1st week. But, for you and the readers, the Official Definition of a OWW is from Kenc: A man corresponds with a lady for four months, meets her in person, proposes during that first week, goes back on the third visit, 5 months later, and gets married. Now what Kenc lacked in his hasty definition is that I waited 11 months after my initial letter to get married, a thorn in Kenc's original definition. But, he coined the term to me and I will apply his definition as being "authoritative." After all, at that time Kenc used 5 years of marriage to justify his opinion, now he uses 7 years. Keep in mind, that when I stated I knew what I was doing, he said "come back in a couple of years" with respect to my confidence. Well, that two years was gone in Jan of this year. From Kenc I guess I will hear "7 years" as a justification of his thoughts rather than "I was wrong."

You also state, paraphrasing, that you don't know anything about me, in that I haven't posted anything about my wife. Should I go back and post your responses to my historical posts when I referred to my wife on the other board? Is that really necessary to stimulate your memory. If yes, then I will. I posted 2 photos of my wife and I on the board after I was married. Now, I'm not going to post photos everytime somebody has a curiosity. Perhaps, I should do something in the trip reports section. But, I'm making my 8th trip in August and trip reports are past time for me.

Now to Leslie,

I have never exchanged thoughts with you on this board but your post warrants a response. You state the following, "He calls himself a "One Week Wonder" but by what he has posted he did not act like one."  I only have a simple question for you.  How is a OWW supposed to act? Of course, I'm using your words. Are you a OWW and you know how a OWW is supposed to act, or, applying the same method that I did to jb, is a OWW supposed to "act" according to your opinion. Keep in mind, I am the OWW and am living the OWW life. I would guess your answer is based upon opinion and not experience.

You then state, "The ONLY justification he has ever given for being a "One Week Wonder" was his own success."  You inadvertently mistake the indefinite article "a" as opposed to the definite article "the" in your statement. But, if you used the word "the", isn't my success enough? Is your success enough justify what you did? Then again, is justification really necessary?

You continue with, "He has revealed NOTHING about his own experience or relationship."  Do you see that word in capital letters that you used?  You succumbed to hasty thoughts before checking out the other threads. The English thread is all about my wife. Now, do you want to know how often we have sex and what positions we like? Perhaps yes, but, I will keep those thoughts within the marriage. I'm not sure what you want to know, but ask and I'll answer.

Finally, you conclude with "I long ago concluded that he was a troll with a grudge." You have a strong opinion, yet, you have never offered your thoughts to me before. How long ago did you come to your conclusion and what grudge do I have?

Mark (The Official One Week Wonder) (OOWW) or (The One Week Wonder) (TOWW)

P.S.
I stated that I won't be able to respond often, but, my delay this time was due to vacation. We visited SFO/OAK on one trip then to STL to meet the other 1/2 of the family. With three brothers and two sisters, along with the nieces/nephews, it's hard to get everyone together. We've already been to Hawaii and it was great.

[Captmonk1]

Captmonk1,

You also state, paraphrasing, that you don't know anything about me, in that I haven't posted anything about my wife. Should I go back and post your responses to my historical posts when I referred to my wife on the other board? Is that really necessary to stimulate your memory. If yes, then I will. I posted 2 photos of my wife and I on the board after I was married. Now, I'm not going to post photos everytime somebody has a curiosity. Perhaps, I should do something in the trip reports section. But, I'm making my 8th trip in August and trip reports are past time for me.

Yes yes...feel free. My memory does need to be reactivated PLUS I would love to see pictures of you and your wife together! I love seeing pictures of other people. In Dallas you should be able to meet many other RW/AM couples if you would like. In any case, please refresh my memory with details and pics! Thanks!

Brad

[catzenmouse]

and she already dislikes the Cowboys

I am TOTALLY with your wife on this one! 

And I agree with Captmonk1 and would love to see some pictures. The gallery section is starting to fill out quite nicely and your addition would be welcomed.

Ken

[Jumper]

Yes yes...feel free. My memory does need to be reactivated PLUS I would love to see pictures of you and your wife together! I love seeing pictures of other people. In Dallas you should be able to meet many other RW/AM couples if you would like. In any case, please refresh my memory with details and pics! Thanks!

Brad

Mark- TOWW -
actually like Brad, i would like to have my memory refreshed as well... LOL!
I must have missed the *post -arrival* posts at RWG or RWD.
In any case sounds like things are going well!

[2tallbill]

I wonder, have these men learned a lesson? I think they have.

Mark

The short answer to being a one week wonder is NO!

The long answer is NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Meeting then marrying and a woman in one weeks time is pure lunacy.

 

[ML]

Most folks here, and in the world in general, don't know the difference between possibility and probability.

I always try to think in terms of probabilities.