PIL - yes or no

[Ooooops]

How much time your Parents-in-Law spend with you every year?   And I mean living in the same house/apartment.   

[Daveman]

For us, so far anyway, none.  I do like my wife's family.  FIL passed away before I had a chance to meet him.  Mama and Brother are very cool and supportive.  My wife lived on her own a thousand miles from "home" since she left for university some 18 years before we met.  She doesn't have those deep seeded, almost umbilical, connections which would probably be present had she lived with them most of her life as so many have to do.


She talks to them once or twice a week as she's done for over 20 years, but she has absolutely no desire to live under the same roof again.  Not because there's anything wrong with them, but rather that complete independence for such a long time just breeds a little different attitude. 


I wouldn't mind them coming here for an extended visit, heck, we're only 10 minutes from Six Flags.. I vividly imagine Mama on the ScreamMachine, the Mindbender, or especially that slingshot bunjee ride... heh!! 

[Turboguy]

My MIL comes for a one month visit every other year with my wife visiting her in the opposite years.   I really enjoy her visits here.  She is a very easy person to be around and loves to putter in the yard which to me is more of a chore and my wife doesn't like yard work at all so our lawn benefits from her visits.  My MIL and my wife Skype a lot during the rest of the time. 

[Chicagoguy]

My wife goes home every year for at least 1 month. Her father at 88 is too old for the trip. He is crazy about me  . Mother is gone - never met her. But has 3 sisters and daughter back home. Daughter will be here for third time this Spring and one of wife's sisters will come also. I go every 2 years.

[GQBlues]

Normally a full month. Now that they're retired, chances are great they'll spend a much longer time next time they come.

It is our hope that someday they'll come to join us permanently. That's an up-and-down talk as uprooting them from Russia is harder than we all expected. If it was up to Pops, they would've moved here a long time ago. Part of that reason also is the uncertainty of our healthcare program (ACA).

Anyway, my wife and I had worked hard since marriage so that we can be in a great financial situation to accommodate their 'arrival' and care.

Now, we just 'wait' until it's convenient for them to do so. But when they do, we plan on getting them their own place close to where we live - and by the beach.

[Ooooops]

The reason I asked is that reading other Russian forums question of bringing family over to USA is always present.   And in most cases it means that PIL will have to be fully supported by their daughters and daughter's husbands.   

[Gator]

How much time your Parents-in-Law spend with you every year?   And I mean living in the same house/apartment.

MIL has visited once for one month and is planning return visit in January.  She is a sweetheart and welcome to say as long as she wishes.  FIL is welcome too but he will not leave his beloved Russia. 
 
BTW over the past 15 months we have had 8-manmonths of Russian visitors with more in the pipeline.  Two female friends are here now, one she knew since the first grade.   I play much golf when they are here or get on RWD.    I welcome visitors as they make my wife even happier, which in turn helps her to accept America as her new home. 
 
Supporting in laws would be no problem other than the medical insurance. 

[mendeleyev]

I never met FIL and wish that I could have for all that I've learned about him. One of my prized possessions is the statue of VI Lenin which sat on his desk when he served in Africa. I just dusted the ole chap (Lenin) a couple days ago and reminded him that his house arrest in my library is far better than the formaldehyde soaked rotting fire trap of a misplaced tomb on Red Rectangle where most people imagine he resides.

As to MIL, we share a home outside Moscow and it has a separate living quarters which in theory a MIL could live, but she has a place of honour on the main floor and so the MIL quarters seems to mysteriously funnel a continual stream of extended relatives. There were years when we lived in a flat in NW Moscow and those were times when she and I were racing to see who could first launch the preemptive nuke strike on each other but those days are happily behind us.

Besides, since Mrs M and I are busy with our work, so who else would go thru the house humming while watering the flowers?

[Ooooops]

Just like Dave's wife I left home at 17 (my husband did it at 18) and just can't imagine living under the same roof with relatives.   I'm glad that we are both that way.   

[Misha]

How much time your Parents-in-Law spend with you every year?   And I mean living in the same house/apartment.

My MIL has never come to see us. She has health problems, and was always busy taking care of my SIL children. My wife was often frustrated by their lack of interest, but what can you do.

[TS]

My MIL comes 1 time a year for 3 weeks now - one time she stayed longer and it was to much for her and my wife.  FIL does not come because they have a house and take care of older relatives.  We have kids under 5 so we do not fly back to Ukraine until there older and then will probably never have MIL visit us in the USA.
My parents come 2-3 times a year maximum of 3 days per visit.    Trying to get that down to 1 visit per year for 3 days.   

[GQBlues]

My MIL comes 1 time a year for 3 weeks now - one time she stayed longer and it was to much for her and my wife.  FIL does not come because they have a house and take care of older relatives.  We have kids under 5 so we do not fly back to Ukraine until there older and then will probably never have MIL visit us in the USA. My parents come 2-3 times a year maximum of 3 days per visit.    Trying to get that down to 1 visit per year for 3 days.

It would seem maybe I'm not the only one who gets the feeling of getting *choked* when relatives come to visit and stay longer than a week    10 days sometimes is pushing it. The month long *vacations* seem to be prevalent with a lot of folks from FSU, call me ungrateful American but I'm just not wired like that. The times they were here for a month, I felt like calling UPS for a large package pick up for overseas delivery.

This is why if and when my in-laws do make to the US to live someday, I would soon rather rent or get them their own place to live, someplace close to us.