Hello everyone.

[MBH248]

Hi all,
My name is Mike.
A friend told me about this site, not sure why I didn't come across it in my searches since I'm pretty good with computers.
I have made the trip to the Ukraine twice already in 2013 and getting ready for a third in April-May of 2014. I think there are many scams by both the agencies and girls. Is there a list of scam sites on here? i just signed up and haven't searched yet. I think this site will be very helpful so thanks in advance.
My main reason for going to the Ukraine is that I'm looking for a younger women to start a family. I'm 48 and have been looking for 32-37, but have dated 27-30 when I was there since it's harder to find women in the older range with no children.
My first trip was a last minute thing and I connected with one girl in particular. On my return trip I met a few others that didn't pan out and when I went to see the first girl for 11 days she had little to no time for me. I'm still in contact with her and she says she will not mess up a second chance but I don't know what to think.
My one concern is that the girls in the Ukraine do not show any signs of interest like I would expect. I'm a decent looking guy with a very good job and have the potential to give them a great life but it seams they don't really care about that. Blown off dates and a lackadaisical approach to calling and emailing is all I was getting. What am I missing? Any advise will be helpful.
Thanks again.
Mike

[Turboguy]

Welcome to the forum Mike and you are doing better than most since you have actually made some trips.   May I ask what sites you have been using to meet the ladies you have met?   That could be the problem.   


When you meet the right woman you will know it and she will shower you with attention so my thoughts would be to forget the one who sort of ignored you when you visited and search until you find the right one.

[GregfromGa]

A couple of questions.
Do you have kids?
Are you just looking for a lady with no kids?
 

[Lily]

My first trip was a last minute thing and I connected with one girl in particular. On my return trip I met a few others that didn't pan out and when I went to see the first girl for 11 days she had little to no time for me. I'm still in contact with her and she says she will not mess up a second chance but I don't know what to think.
My one concern is that the girls in the Ukraine do not show any signs of interest like I would expect. I'm a decent looking guy with a very good job and have the potential to give them a great life but it seams they don't really care about that. Blown off dates and a lackadaisical approach to calling and emailing is all I was getting. What am I missing? Any advise will be helpful.
Thanks again.
Mike

Hi Mike,
 
Being a Russian woman myself, the first thing that comes to my mind is that you might have been just plainly out of luck. You sound like a good person who probably would be able to wake up some interest in women.
 
On a more practical note, perhaps you have connected with too little women to start with, and came to visit only a few of them, so that the girls turned to be a wrong choice. Just keep trying, contac the girls and try to establish a meaningful connection even before the visit, that's what I could tell at the moment.

[Daveman]

...
My first trip was a last minute thing and I connected with one girl in particular. On my return trip I met a few others that didn't pan out and when I went to see the first girl for 11 days she had little to no time for me. I'm still in contact with her and she says she will not mess up a second chance but I don't know what to think.

Welcome to RWD, Mike


Advice numero uno - "Hello Self. Don't be an idiot"... that's a pretty good thought there..

My one concern is that the girls in the Ukraine do not show any signs of interest like I would expect. I'm a decent looking guy with a very good job and have the potential to give them a great life but it seams they don't really care about that. Blown off dates and a lackadaisical approach to calling and emailing is all I was getting. What am I missing? Any advise will be helpful.
Thanks again.
Mike

Really? All of them?
Turbo asked a very pertinent starter question.. which site?


A decent looking guy with a good job should at least receive some serious interest from at least ONE.  Without more info, I can pose the possibility that you may have been going after the "most popular" bait babes?  The attention getters but not necessarily single, available, or interested.. 


Something is amiss anyway..

[Muzh]

A couple of questions.
Do you have kids?
Are you just looking for a lady with no kids?

Yeah, same questions.

[GQBlues]

...My main reason for going to the Ukraine is that I'm looking for a younger women to start a family. I'm 48 and have been looking for 32-37, but have dated 27-30 when I was there since it's harder to find women in the older range with no children.

My first trip was a last minute thing and I connected with one girl in particular. On my return trip I met a few others that didn't pan out and when I went to see the first girl for 11 days she had little to no time for me. I'm still in contact with her and she says she will not mess up a second chance but I don't know what to think....

I really shouldn't be surprised since this is the MOB and contradicting posts are the rules and not the exception.

I digress.

Stay with the MOB. These gals are different than any other women in the world. Our resident experts will tell you that. These women, they would say, would love nothing more than cook your dinner on high heels and short skirts. Then shower-up and spread the eagle.

They don't even have to learn your language as long as, either / or, you buy a translator or speak 5 Russian words. It's something to do with *souls*...I never could figure that one out really..

 

So you want a young woman who can bear your child/ren and would rather not be with someone who already have a child/ren...I see. I would say that's pretty much a typical MOBer attitude, yes...

But it begs the question again....what's in it for the women?

U.S.A.?

[MBH248]

Hello again,
Answers to questions.
First off never been married and no kids. Looking for someone with no kids but not opposed to someone with them.
I went on one of the tours with AFA. Did 2 socials in Poltava.

Lilly, I did better then most of the guys. The one girl in particular met with me almost every night the first trip. I had a connection with her and went back to see where it could go but I met other girls there as a back up, just dates.
All had girls either cancel dates or no shows. I formed a tight knit group with a few of the guys and we did discussed the dates every morning. All agreed that the girls did not show much interest. whether it was a scam or not I don't know.

Daveman your advice is useless. I am no idiot. You don't know the full story. and no I didn't go for the young hot popular girls.

GQ What is contradictory in my post?  Also I am looking for a partner in life not a slave, and equal partner that wants a family. Women in the US in the 32-37 range are looking for men in the same age range. I have been told several times I'm too old. Recently by a girl 40 years old.??

What's in it for them?
A very easy going, honest, open and loyal man. You'd be hard pressed to find a more honest person. A better life in the US (or I will move there and live like a king). Someone that will treat them with respect as an equal and be a great father to their children. I will retire before I'm 50 and be a stay at home dad. I cook, clean and fix anything. I will take them traveling around the world. I would make sure they keep in constant contact with their friends and family and visit at least once a year. I will love them till the day I die and do anything for them. I could go on and on.
What more do they want?

I have had some long term relationships in the US and for one reason or another never got married. I attached a picture of myself.

[Anotherkiwi]

  Mike!
 
Firstly, although it seems a small point to most Westerners, and I still hear it even in news bulletins, remember that it is not "the" Ukraine - you may have unintentionally offended one or more of the women you dated by giving an incorrect name to their country.  Your 11 day wonder woman was also quite probably offended by the fact that, even though you got on so well on your first visit, she was only your tenth (or whatever) choice when you returned.  Most women would have blown you off long before 11 days had passed - I think that she was actually quite amazing for even meeting you a second time under those circumstances.
 

My one concern is that the girls in the Ukraine do not show any signs of interest like I would expect. I'm a decent looking guy with a very good job and have the potential to give them a great life but it seams they don't really care about that.

Excuse me, but what makes you so special?  Why do you feel that they should be interested in you?  Just because you're American?  And reasonably well-off?  That smacks of an entitlement attitude which would not go down well anywhere, not just in Ukraine.  Lots of foreign men with the same job and potential (and wealth) as yourself visit Ukraine all the time, and it's quite conceivable that at least some of the women you visited will have already met a dozen or more men who are similar to you.
 
What everyone here will emphasise to you is that you have to be yourself, wherever in the world you're looking for a partner.  Your own personality will have to be strong enough to stand out from the crowd of the average overweight, middle-aged, sad old farts (GQBlues' standard description of everyone, other than himself, who has or is looking for a wife from the FSU) whom these women encounter every day.  You also have to realise that most don't want to leave their country - you have to convince your "special one" that you are the most special person in the world for her because you're you, not because you come from the USA.
The other question, of course, is that if your job and prospects are so good, why can't you find someone suitable in your own area (or even the whole of your state or your country)?
 
With all that said, I wish you the best of luck.  You've taken a huge step by joining this forum - I've learnt an incredible amount in the time I've been here, even if some of it has not been expressed particularly kindly.  Developing a thick skin is one of the first requirements for anyone in this venture - if you can't cope with the vitriol which occasionally gets tossed at everyone here, you will never survive with a Russian or Ukrainian wife (at least, that is the standard mantra  ).

[JayH]

Welcome MBH248--- Mike . Where do I start---  first suggestion is to  NOT spend all your time here  trying to respond to every slight--perceived or real. The forum is a mine of information --you need to spend time reading the forums to educate yourself  to get and understanding of many issues involved.
             You are not unique -- you are following a long line of guys that come and make a few posts and then disappear-=never to report in again. The forum does have some knowall opinionated boring "old" ( in mind if not in years)  phaffers   who spend their time being negative about everyone but themselves ( Daveman is not one of them)-- so my advice is to ignore them. It will not take a lot of reading
to work that out-- so don't bother with them.
             The other side of that is there are people who do have current knowledge and experience who will help you sort this out.

[Anotherkiwi]

I went on one of the tours with AFA. Did 2 socials in Poltava.
 
Lilly, I did better then most of the guys. The one girl in particular met with me almost every night the first trip. I had a connection with her and went back to see where it could go but I met other girls there as a back up, just dates.
All had girls either cancel dates or no shows. I formed a tight knit group with a few of the guys and we did discussed the dates every morning. All agreed that the girls did not show much interest. whether it was a scam or not I don't know

Ah...this explains a lot.
 
Doing a tour with AFA, and visiting a couple of socials, is NOT what any decent, self-respecting Ukrainian woman wants from a potential husband.  Although you and the other guys almost certainly didn't realise it, those tours have a totally justified, totally crap reputation.  The women who go to the socials are, for the most part, offered free drinks and meals for an evening out - from what others have posted here over the years most, if not all, have boyfriends or husbands waiting at home, and the women have absolutely no intention of getting involved with some sad foreign idiot who doesn't know a babushka from a devushka.
 
Of course there are exceptions - AFA and Anastasia Date trumpet these all the time to convince the next load of suckers that anything is possible.  Why on earth, when it looked as though you might actually have had a chance of developing a relationship with the first woman, did you date others at the same time?  Whether or not you went to bed with them, for those women you had "Sex Tourist" written all over you.

Daveman your advice is useless. I am no idiot. You don't know the full story. and no I didn't go for the young hot popular girls..

No, Daveman's advice is not useless - it is spot on.

GQ What is contradictory in my post? 

Read again what he wrote - he's not saying that you are contradictory, just that the replies are.
 

Also I am looking for a partner in life not a slave, and equal partner that wants a family. Women in the US in the 32-37 range are looking for men in the same age range. I have been told several times I'm too old. Recently by a girl 40 years old.??

What's in it for them?
A very easy going, honest, open and loyal man. You'd be hard pressed to find a more honest person. A better life in the US (or I will move there and live like a king). Someone that will treat them with respect as an equal and be a great father to their children. I will retire before I'm 50 and be a stay at home dad. I cook, clean and fix anything. I will take them traveling around the world. I would make sure they keep in constant contact with their friends and family and visit at least once a year. I will love them till the day I die and do anything for them. I could go on and on.
What more do they want?

I have had some long term relationships in the US and for one reason or another never got married. I attached a picture of myself.

You're nearly as good-looking as me!  Seriously, you look like a pretty good catch, so don't give up yet.  If you remain fixated on Ukraine, however, you must realise that this is not an easy journey, and it will take you quite a while to figure out what you need to do.

[mendeleyev]

I have made the trip to the Ukraine twice already in 2013 and getting ready for a third in April-May of 2014. I think there are many scams by both the agencies and girls. Is there a list of scam sites on here? i just signed up and haven't searched yet. I think this site will be very helpful so thanks in advance.

(mark thru added)

Welcome Mike.

Scam sites are useless. 3 simple rules for avoiding scams:
- Don't send money unless you've met, more than once, and have an on-going relationship.
- Don't take any lady shopping. The good ones won't ask.
- Avoid scam sites like they were the plague cause they are.

My main reason for going to the Ukraine is that I'm looking for a younger women to start a family. I'm 48 and have been looking for 32-37, but have dated 27-30 when I was there since it's harder to find women in the older range with no children.

As a general rule don't date your daughter (except in certain USA states). Late 30s to early 40s will be open to you. Find a lady who will grow old with you. No FSU lady gets excited about the prospect of changing your oxygen tank while she is still in her sexual prime.

I'm a decent looking guy with a very good job and have the potential to give them a great life but it seams they don't really care about that. Blown off dates and a lackadaisical approach to calling and emailing is all I was getting. What am I missing?

You offer the same as Ivan down the street and Oleg across town. Just that they are her age and more exciting, and while you're 48 and feel like 26, Ivan and Oleg are 28 and feel like 19.

I think that you need to drop the "give them a good life" angle cause that will give you nothing but trouble. Once you get her here, some afternoon after her ESL class at the community college some 32 year old stud stockbroker driving a new $100k red sports car will also offer her a "good life" and you'll be sleeping alone if all you offered was a step up the economic ladder. If you use the wrong kind of bait you are guaranteed to catch the wrong kind of fish.

Treat this like any other dating situation, it's just long distance this time, and use the big head when making decisions. The fact is that not every man finds a wife in the FSU and the costs are steep, but if you do, you may find someone who finds you just as fascinating.

Good luck!


 

[mendeleyev]

PS, take everything you learned from the tour operators about FSU women and have a weekend detox. Get some of that white power they give before certain internal exams for men and spent the weekend flushing all that tour information from your system. Then go on your own after you've established some relationships and have some fun seeing the sights and meeting a few ladies.

I applaud your desire to start a family and you can do that but please don't buy into the agency and tour hype that these are young women with 1950s attitudes, dressed up in 2014 miniskirts. They are not.

[Lily]

Kudos for you for posting your photo Mike! Very few RW seekers have guts to do it.
 
My opinion is that you look better than a number of the FSY wife seekers. That's why you did better than the other guys in the same pursuit.
 
So far I still believe that it is just occasional bad luck for you Mike. One more thing though, in the future it may make sense to confirm with the girls that they are not busy, not on a trip, etc. Unfortunately, people in the FSU, women especially, generally have a tendency to handle their, and other people's time, less carefully than the people in the West. Some also do not stick to their promises. Somehow it used to be a part of the culture.   

[MBH248]

JayH,
Thanks for the advise, it was the best yet. I was just basically trying to introduce myself like the "thanks for joining" email I got stated to do.

Anotherkiwi,
I answered why in my second post on women in the US. I can get them just over 40 with kids, that's great but not what I'm looking for. And no I do not think I'm anything special, just another guy looking for love and wanting to start a family. I don't go into finances with these girls, I have a very comfortable living and do not consider myself rich. I want them to want me for me, not for what I have. And if you read very carefully I went on a couple dates on my return trip. My "wonder woman" emailed me everyday after I left the first time and was to spend everyday with me on my return. When she didn't, I went on dates with a few girls from Mamba that I talked with while waiting on her to show. Did I tell her? Of course! and she was shocked but it did not get her to wake up or show up on consecutive days. She did have work issues but specifically told me she would spend the time with me. I saw her 5 days for about 2 to 5 hours each time, she blew me off on my last day where we were to spend the entire day together and I told her I may never come back. She writes me telling me how she still misses me and wants me to return. I don't get it, she could have seen plenty of me on the trip. I don't say the Ukraine to them I say your country and have only compliments, that's just my grammar here. And yes Davemans advise is useless. "don't be an idiot" gee why didn't I think of that. People come on here for help or advise not to get picked apart. Most of the guys I met on my first trip seamed like very decent, good guys looking to find love and happiness and were truly there for the right reasons. One guy was a sex tourist. I would think the girls would be able to see the frauds.

Thanks Lily,
I don't keep secrets and don't lie. I told everyone that wants to hear my story what I was up to. My job is far more scary then what people can say or judge.

mendeleyev,
I had to start somewhere, AFA was my stepping stone and have been trying to find good ways to connect. I am no idiot and have not given money to any site. Trying to find out what sites are scams and which one will help me achieve my dream. I am not looking for a child bride, the girl I went back to see was 29 and I thought that was too young, I was shooting for 10 to 15 years younger.
Can you direct me to the sites I should join or spend money and time on?
Anyone that wants to talk by phone or personal email just PM me.

[JayH]

Mike-- some others posting almost simultaneously above--  all I see is  factual good advice above.It may feel like a belt in the nose--some will deliver it like that. Seriously-- wear that and keep posting your thoughts. It will be in your own best interests--guys here know plenty. Some of the guys above have been married for years to FSUW--some live in FSU--some were born in FSU-- some are currently involved like you--so it is a fair cross section posting here already. Regardless of how it may seem to you right now-they are trying to help you-- so again I urge you to take comments with a grain of salt and learn from it. Spend your time reading forum at large--particularly trip reports- but also much more--it will help you.

[SANDRO43]

I attached a picture of myself.

Just curious, why the ITALIA jersey ?

[JohnDearGreen]

My one concern is that the girls in the Ukraine do not show any signs of interest like I would expect.

Sounds pretty normal.  A lot like my 2 trips to Moscow.  I called ladies and couldn't drag them out of their apartment to meet me.   "My dog is sick.  Gotta stay at home this weekend." etc etc.  Go somewhere like Kyiv. Contact about 10 to 20 ladies from a diverse mix of web sites, from cities outside of Kyiv.   Invite the 4 to 6 that you like best to come meet you in Kyiv.  That helps to eliminate some that have little real interest.  If they are willing to jump on a train for 4 to 12 hours, and give up a couple days of their vacation time, then there's a good chance they are seriously looking for someone, possibly you.  As example, I talked to about 8 ladies from Odessa.  None were willing to come to Kyiv to meet me.  Avoid Odessa.  With other cities like Vinnitsa, Krivog Rog, Kharkiv, Kherson, Simferopol, there was a high probability they would want to meet if they returned a couple weeks of my emails.  I would offer to pay their expenses, but that is up to you.  It may sound expensive, but wasting a couple days with a local girl who shows little interest is an expense also.

[MBH248]

I was in Italy. LOL
I travel a lot.

[Daveman]

Daveman your advice is useless. I am no idiot. You don't know the full story. and no I didn't go for the young hot popular girls.

Mike, ahhhhhh, the ole "you don't have the full story" comeback... gee, we've never seen THAT one before.    


First off, let's sacrifice a chicken to Baubo for a blessing of lighthearted humor.


Secondly, don't rationalize away or make excuses for any woman's shitty behavior. The woman left you hanging for eleven freakin' days. And I quote "she had little to no time for me". Don't be an idiot sign up for a second heaping helping of her hospitality.


As mentioned up thread, the AFA connection explains a lot about your apparent lack of good fortune thus far.  A decent looking guy with a decent job should have garnered some serious, sincere interest. Interest which would have been very, obviously, outrageously, unmistakably, unequivocally, patently, manifestly neon signly style apparent. 


Shake out the cobwebs and fish more productive waters. 


Check here first:


http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14615.0

[TomT]

My first trip was a last minute thing and I connected with one girl in particular. On my return trip I met a few others that didn't pan out and when I went to see the first girl for 11 days she had little to no time for me.

Further reading answered my now-deleted question. Nevermind.

[lonedrake]

 

 You made a great decision to join this website. It will save you time,money and heartbreak......you just have to put up with some less than positive advice at times.

[Ooooops]

 "[size=0px]have the potential to give them a great life but it seams they don't really care about that[/size]" 


Did you tell that to girls up front?   Just wonder...

[MBH248]

Ooooops,

No I didn't, I was very respectful and courteous at all times. I answered any questions they had honestly. That was just my personal opinion.
Also I don't think I'm saving anyone from anything. Life there is not bad and everyone seamed to be happy. I really like their country.

[ML]

Mike, welcome to the mad house.

From viewing your picture, it is obvious what the problem is.

FSU gals require two dimples; one just doesn't cut it.