Elena

[santo]

I have been at this for a few months now and have been talking to a girl almost every day on Skype.  She is Russian but currently lives in a port city in Mexico.  I thought this was strange at first, but as we talked more, I began to trust her and believe her.   We are currently making plans to meet up in cancun but I found out some new info about her and wanted to get some opinions about it.

When we started talking, she told me that she ended up in Mexico because she wanted to take Spanish language classes.  I recently googled her name with the city in Mexico and found a forum where a Mexican guy is talking about how he met her online and she flew to Mexico to live with him.  The last post he did was June of this year. She did mention that she recently broke up with the ex, but not all that.  She lied about going there for study.  Now I'm concerned about her intentions with me.

[Patagonie]

I have been at this for a few months now and have been talking to a girl almost every day on Skype.  She is Russian but currently lives in a port city in Mexico.  I thought this was strange at first, but as we talked more, I began to trust her and believe her.   We are currently making plans to meet up in cancun but I found out some new info about her and wanted to get some opinions about it.

When we started talking, she told me that she ended up in Mexico because she wanted to take Spanish language classes.  I recently googled her name with the city in Mexico and found a forum where a Mexican guy is talking about how he met her online and she flew to Mexico to live with him.  The last post he did was June of this year. She did mention that she recently broke up with the ex, but not all that.  She lied about going there for study.  Now I'm concerned about her intentions with me.

It didn't probably work with the guy.
So she rebounds.
The question is more about how many time does she can stay legally there ?
What does she do for a living ?

[santo]

She works at a beauty salon.  She told me that she went there on a tourist visa.  She is actually in Russia now and going back to Mexico next month. 

I'm wondering if she's just over Mexico now and wants to come to the states instead.

[steveboy]

It didn't probably work with the guy.
So she rebounds.
The question is more about how many time does she can stay legally there ?
What does she do for a living ?

She will be living there illegally no doubt and probably working in a strip joint its perfectly normal, and doesn't mean she's a bad person, there are lots of women working illegally in foreign countries as hookers or strippers. They usually have the same story "I work in a beauty parlour" "I have a job in a hotel" Whats new))

[Shadow]

She will be living there illegally no doubt and probably working in a strip joint its perfectly normal, and doesn't mean she's a bad person, there are lots of women working illegally in foreign countries as hookers or strippers. They usually have the same story "I work in a beauty parlour" "I have a job in a hotel" Whats new))

Yeah sure every RW that manages to go out of the country by herself must be working in the sex industry. Agency hype anyone?

[Shadow]

She works at a beauty salon.  She told me that she went there on a tourist visa.  She is actually in Russia now and going back to Mexico next month. 

I'm wondering if she's just over Mexico now and wants to come to the states instead.

Your reaction is exactly why she did not tell everything. First of all it would launch a thousand questions on who her ex is and why it did not work out, then you will get the idea she is only after a better deal instead of genuinely looking for someone she can live her life with.

As long as she does not ask you for money to allow her to fly, treat her like any other possible long distance date. She is a penpal and if she is interesting enough visit to see if she can be more. If not, nothing lost. If she can be, go for it.

[santo]

That makes sense.  Even for girls in the US.  I dated a girl for a while that told me she worked as a " hostess".  Turns out she was a stripper.

Here in LA there are a lot of Russian girls working as strippers and hookers.  I work in law enforcement so I see that a lot but never put it together till steveboy mentioned it.

When I googled her I saw an ad she posted online for English lessons.  In her exes posts he mentioned she is an English teacher but said nothing about the beauty parlour.  I am tempted to contact the ex on the forum and ask about her.   He seems like a normal guy and I wonder what happened between them.  I'm sure it's not the story she told me that they broke up because he is lazy and broke because he doesn't like to work.

We are planning to spend a week together in cancun.  She hasn't asked me for money yet and said she will buy her plane ticket.

[Belvis]

We are planning to spend a week together in cancun.  She hasn't asked me for money yet and said she will buy her plane ticket.

So, why just don't spend a week with a pretty woman?  Fun for both in the worst case.
As for marriage material she looks suspicious. Beauty parlor in Mexico is not what decent FSUW dream of, especially educated ones. Decent FSUW must be direct with her life story. She may lie in small things but does not make her story sounds like a spy novel.

[Patagonie]

Yes i don't see a FSU lady working in a beauty saloon abroad.

There is nothing wrong to get a maximum of informations before an engagement.

[mendeleyev]

There are lots of red flags on this one but I wouldn't even think about contacting the ex. She isn't using him as a character reference for a reason so you know that all you'll get is his side of the story. That is the least of worries because at some point she will find out that you did, and the hell that will rain down on you from that mistake will end any chance of continuing a relationship. I'm guessing that you don't interview the ex boyfriends of other girls you date so don't start a new bad habit.

Sadly there is little you will learn about her in Mexico. You're on vacation, enjoying a honeymoon, and the sex and sand will be sex and sand. You'd learn so much more in her natural environment but a trip to Mexico seems like a shortcut to the hassle of traveling to Russia--it really isn't a shortcut and Russia has less sand, but some things you have to learn via the school of experience.

[Faux Pas]

That makes sense.  Even for girls in the US.  I dated a girl for a while that told me she worked as a " hostess".  Turns out she was a stripper.

Here in LA there are a lot of Russian girls working as strippers and hookers.  I work in law enforcement so I see that a lot but never put it together till steveboy mentioned it.

When I googled her I saw an ad she posted online for English lessons.  In her exes posts he mentioned she is an English teacher but said nothing about the beauty parlour.  I am tempted to contact the ex on the forum and ask about her.   He seems like a normal guy and I wonder what happened between them.  I'm sure it's not the story she told me that they broke up because he is lazy and broke because he doesn't like to work.

We are planning to spend a week together in cancun.  She hasn't asked me for money yet and said she will buy her plane ticket.

Yeah that's probably a great idea if you are looking to date and spend a week with him. Probably not a great idea if you are looking to date her.

If you are looking for a scammer you will find one. Don't believe all the tripe about a single  RW in Mexico or anywhere else is a stripper or a whore. Yeah there are some bright yellow flags with this woman and all conjecture. You have little to nothing at risk or invested to finding out. You sound a bit anal retentive. A week in Cancun might be just what you need. If you like this woman, go meet her

Believe what she telling you until you have a reason not to. Other than just your paranoia. So what if she isn't completely forthcoming on her previous relationship. You'll find most women and FSUW are no different don't dwell on them unless there is something wrong with them

[Patagonie]

There are lots of red flags on this one but I wouldn't even think about contacting the ex. She isn't using him as a character reference for a reason so you know that all you'll get is his side of the story. That is the least of worries because at some point she will find out that you did, and the hell that will rain down on you from that mistake will end any chance of continuing a relationship. I'm guessing that you don't interview the ex boyfriends of other girls you date so don't start a new bad habit.

Sadly there is little you will learn about her in Mexico. You're on vacation, enjoying a honeymoon, and the sex and sand will be sex and sand. You'd learn so much more in her natural environment but a trip to Mexico seems like a shortcut to the hassle of traveling to Russia--it really isn't a shortcut and Russia has less sand, but some things you have to learn via the school of experience.

Mendy you wrote what i forgot to add in my post.
If she knows that you got some informations with her ex...... Many chances that you will be in troube.

But on an other hand i see nothing wrong to be informed.

[Gator]

What have you done to deserve at this point her complete disclosure about something that some people may criticize?  It is none of your business.  Whether to meet her should be based on how you feel when talking with her on Skype.
 
There are many possible explanations for what happened, and what she has told you could be true (but maybe not the whole truth).  If the two of you meet and like each other, enough to want to see each other again, maybe she will talk.  I suggest you not interrogate her but ask her open ended questions in a light manner. 
 
Regarding the -ex.  That is so lame.  Lame for you wanting to contact him.  Lame for him using her name in an Internet forum.  BTW, do not use her name, not even Elena.
 
Keep in mind that everyone has a past.  My experience with RW is that they consider their "past" as past.   They do not want to talk about it.  It contrasts with AW who frequently become melodramatic about their past. 
 
If your RW friend does open up, be sure to tell her the details about your many mistakes in life if you have not already disclosed such to her.
 
 

[GQBlues]

I have been at this for a few months now and have been talking to a girl almost every day on Skype.  She is Russian but currently lives in a port city in Mexico.  I thought this was strange at first, but as we talked more, I began to trust her and believe her.   We are currently making plans to meet up in cancun but I found out some new info about her and wanted to get some opinions about it...

Opinions about you possibly arranging a week long trip with a woman in some exotic beachside location with the possibility of having some mind-numbing sex until your dick falls off?

Well, OK...here's what *I* think...

...YoungBuck is likely reading your thread and saying to himself, "Pshyt! Now why can't this things happen to me instead of sitting on my butt and blaming everyone else for my woes, thus causing me to *sit on my butt while blaming them when I could be one of these guys chillin' and getting laid!* WTF! The dude GQBlues was right on all along!"

Then somewhere up in Washington, Chip is reading your thread thinking, "Damned! He gets the same week-long sexual escapade in a remote beachside exotic location with a gal and he doesn't even have to pay for her travel expenses!"

Then in a very sexy corner of RWD, *I* am thinking....is an 'opinion' really what Santo wanted to accomplish with his topic or is it just those *Look 'ma...no hands* moments guys just love to do...?

...When we started talking, she told me that she ended up in Mexico because she wanted to take Spanish language classes.  I recently googled her name with the city in Mexico and found a forum where a Mexican guy is talking about how he met her online and she flew to Mexico to live with him.  The last post he did was June of this year. She did mention that she recently broke up with the ex, but not all that.  She lied about going there for study.  Now I'm concerned about her intentions with me....

Brilliant...Heck...just to get an idea how that will work out for you, I suggest sending either Maxxum, or GregfromGA, or Gator, or Jet, or KenC, and/or a few others; a PM and ask anyone of them what *they* think of their FSUW exs...

I thought law enforcement agencies trained you fellas with a lot more rational and objective thought processing than what you're showing us here (?)


Santo...here's my 2 cents. If by chance you and this 'gal' ever got along and you fell inclined to marry her and make her your wife, will you be prepared to tell her and/or live with the fact that you once thought of her as possibly someone low enough to be a whore so much so you have tried to search her ex to solicit as much information about her?

What's wrong with you, man?

[YoungBuck]

Opinions about you possibly arranging a week long trip with a woman in some exotic beachside location with the possibility of having some mind-numbing sex until your dick falls off?

Well, OK...here's what *I* think...

YoungBuck is likely reading your thread and saying to himself, "Pshyt! Now why can't this things happen to me instead of sitting on my butt and blaming everyone else for causing me to *sit on my butt blaming everyone them while all the other guys are getting laid! WTF!"

Then somewhere up in Washington, Chip is reading your thread thinking, "Damned! He gets the same week-long sexual escapade in a remote beachside exotic location with a gal and he doesn't even have to pay for her travel expenses!"

Then in a very sexy corner of RWD, *I* am thinking....is an 'opinion' really what Santo wanted to accomplish with his topic or is it just those *Look 'ma...no hands* moments guys just love to do...?



Brilliant...Heck...just to get an idea how that will work out for you, I suggest sending Maxxum, GregfromGA, Gator, Jet, KenC, and a whole lot more.....PMs and asking them what *they* think of their FSUW exs...

I thought law enforcement agencies trained you fellas with a lot more rational and objective thought processing than what you're showing us here (?)


Santo...here's my 2 cents. If by chance you and this 'gal' ever got along and you fell inclined to marry her and make her your wife, will you be prepared to tell her and/or live with the fact that you once thought of her as possibly someone low enough to be a whore so much so you have tried to search her ex to solicit as much information about her?

What's wrong with you, man?

nope,  what I was thinking was a rebound relationship sucks.  even if everything this girl is telling you is true,  you will find yourself in the midst of her rebounding.  those never end well.

 in fact,  she could have gone to Mexico to learn Spanish,  she went to live with her Mexican pen pal,  and she works  in an  upscale salon which caters to foreigners.  it really could be that simple,  but a  girl rebounding its never simple.  you'll be showered with attention,  then discarded as she gets her bearings back leaving you confused.

 there are plenty of women out there to knowingly put yourself in a bad situation.

 oh, and if a future gf  or wife ever asks me about my trip to Russia,  I'll tell her I  went to visit friends  and leave out the rest. don't want to rock the boat and I'm sure your pen  pal is doing the  same.

[Ade]

We know a woman here that got out of an abusive marriage and she refused to tell any prospective new man about it. This went to the point that she even lied about being in Norway and told prospective men she was in Russia so they wouldn't think it strange that she was in Norway without a good reason - some of the stories she told about how she could visit them here were quite convoluted. Even when we told her that honesty, warts and all, was more likely to net her a decent bloke she just didn't get it. She was kind of ashamed of her abusive marriage and thought decent guys wouldn't want her because of it. But thought that lying was okay.

The question is, would you feel comfortable being in a relationship with someone that thinks it's okay to lie to you?

[Boethius]

On the other side, I'd ask would she be okay with a man who thought she may be a hooker, and thought of contacting an ex for a character reference?

[Ade]

On the other side, I'd ask would she be okay with a man who thought she may be a hooker, and thought of contacting an ex for a character reference?

That too but he is in "law enforcement" so I guess that mentality comes with job.

[Patagonie]

nope,  what I was thinking was a rebound relationship sucks.  even if everything this girl is telling you is true,  you will find yourself in the midst of her rebounding.  those never end well.

 in fact,  she could have gone to Mexico to learn Spanish,  she went to live with her Mexican pen pal,  and she works  in an  upscale salon which caters to foreigners.  it really could be that simple,  but a  girl rebounding its never simple.  you'll be showered with attention,  then discarded as she gets her bearings back leaving you confused.

 there are plenty of women out there to knowingly put yourself in a bad situation.

 oh, and if a future gf  or wife ever asks me about my trip to Russia,  I'll tell her I  went to visit friends  and leave out the rest. don't want to rock the boat and I'm sure your pen  pal is doing the  same.

+1
Yeah it is better to be not the rebound guy.

[Daveman]

1. If you are looking for fun and adventure, getting to know someone, and the possibility of something more if/when it happens, then go for it and have a great time.


2. If you are scrutinizing for a wife at this point, then your head isn't really in the dating game.


3. Next up, as others mentioned, the rebound relationship reject is a possibility.  Unless you take is slowly and go with Option 1.


4. Always go with option 1.


5. If not option 1, then go to have fun and adventure, get to know her, and allow whatever happens to happen. 

[missAmeno]

Yes i don't see a FSU lady working in a beauty saloon abroad.

Is UK abroad enough? 
Because I have seen (not one, many) FSUW working in beauty saloons, hairdressers, as well as working as shop assistants, receptionists, care assistants, waitresses and cleaners, etc. Actually the above are the most common job positions held by FSUW living in UK (as per my observations during 13 years in UK).

[Jumper]

Opinions?

heh ok -
Flying to Cancun to specifically meet an attractive woman flying in there also, is like bringing sand to the beach
but,
if she strikes your fancy, and you feel you've hit it off communicating , why on earth  not?

boy meets girl, see what happens!! you can't cherry pick the future of a relationship involving human beings. lol
and why worry that she's on the rebound ? Whats the worst that would happen? the relationship not fully develop into something sustainable long term?
She'll likely rebound thru someone, and the relationship will continue, or perhaps not.
Who can say? Worrying about it seems putting the cart in front of the horse.
You have nothing yet,and have no real idea yet, if you will have a relationship.

I don't get it? if interested , and you have the time, why not?

You know very little about her, other than she had a prior relationship that dint pan out,
seems pretty normal to me? If you think another RW in Russia wont have had something similar, and that she wouldn't likely be completely forthcoming about it, before meeting you, you're assuming an awful lot.
Anyway, if this RW thing is your interest, you might as well jump in ,
you'll never know how deep the water is regardless with anyone.
No matter how this gets viewed, meeting a RW in Cancun, that flew in on her own dime to see you, is the kiddie pool of this venture for sure.
 

[TomT]

santo,

You might as well give her the benefit of the doubt. If it turns out that something is amiss, you will find out in good time.

[santo]

This is a pretty cool forum and you guys give great advice.  I appreciate all of it.  I am usually a logical person in all aspects of my life but as you all know we get a bit crazy when we develop feelings for someone.  I developed feelings for her just over Skype so I thought best to just crowd source this before I get too loco.

[Shadow]

Is UK abroad enough? 
Because I have seen (not one, many) FSUW working in beauty saloons, hairdressers, as well as working as shop assistants, receptionists, care assistants, waitresses and cleaners, etc. Actually the above are the most common job positions held by FSUW living in UK (as per my observations during 13 years in UK).

They are all covers for their real job