Greetings all.

[siegoris]

Hello!  hope you all are well.  I'm not a fan of these intro things, mostly because i don't know what to say. anyway i'm in my late 20's and a long time ago i realized that it is hard to find an American woman with the same desires as i have.  So i thought, what about FSU women?  last year i met a great woman from Moldova and even went there to meet her.  I'm at the point in my life that what i want more than anything is to find the right woman and start a family, preferably with someone a little younger than me. 

I'm hoping to find a lot of advice and insight here, mainly about how to/where to meet a potential FSU wife, but also about the whole process and advice towards making sure she is eternally happy with me.

[tfcrew]

     


Getting some weather there this eve?
So what happened with the Moldovaishka?

[LAman]

Hi Siegoris,       Pull up a chair.....

 Since you are not a fan with introductions, I would be interested on hearing about your trip to Moldova, that would be a good start!!! I have been there a many times, not many guys end up traveling there.

For advice....at your age, stick to women from your country, I doubt if you really looked hard enough or long enough. Good luck with what you decide!!

[siegoris]

there does seem to be some sleet hitting the deck outside my window, be interesting to see what the chickens think of it in the morning (this is their first winter) It's supposed to continue on through Thanksgiving, i hope it doesn't though, plan on hunting some deer Thurs and maybe Fri. 

Seeing as i'm on here I bet you can guess things did not progress with the woman from Moldova.  I did have an amazing time while i was there, met a few great Brit-ex-pats and many great locals.  It is on the list of places i'd be happy to visit again.

LAman, Moldova was wonderful, i spend about a week in Chisinau it is a beautiful city.  I have many great photos and memories from there (I love working in a dark room) As to women from my country, I have not given up on them as an option, but i would rather start having a family sooner than later and i've noticed that most American women are either too focused on their careers or not mature enough (please keep in mind i did mention i prefer women that are younger than me, about 5-7 yrs younger)

[lonedrake]

 From one hunter to another.

[jone]

The experiences that I have had with women from FSU countries is that they really begin to get serious about marriage and family at around 25.  Where you look and how you look will most likely determine your success. 

Before you do so, take a good look in the mirror and see yourself through a prospective mate's eyes.  Find someone that matches your lifestyle and values system.  You are young enough that you don't have to resolve this overnight. 

Good luck.  Love to see some of your pictures from Chisinau.

There is plenty to learn here.  As LAman says, pull up a chair.  (Who'd ever want to live in LA, anyway?)

[Faux Pas]

there does seem to be some sleet hitting the deck outside my window, be interesting to see what the chickens think of it in the morning (this is their first winter) It's supposed to continue on through Thanksgiving, i hope it doesn't though, plan on hunting some deer Thurs and maybe Fri. 

Seeing as i'm on here I bet you can guess things did not progress with the woman from Moldova.  I did have an amazing time while i was there, met a few great Brit-ex-pats and many great locals.  It is on the list of places i'd be happy to visit again.

LAman, Moldova was wonderful, i spend about a week in Chisinau it is a beautiful city.  I have many great photos and memories from there (I love working in a dark room) As to women from my country, I have not given up on them as an option, but i would rather start having a family sooner than later and i've noticed that most American women are either too focused on their careers or not mature enough (please keep in mind i did mention i prefer women that are younger than me, about 5-7 yrs younger)

Just my humble opinion but, you are late 20's, you seek a woman 5-7 years younger, that's mature. Guy, it ain't happening. 23 year old women no matter the country 9 of 10 will not be mature and most not looking to settle down and carry your babies. Just the way it is. You are at an age where you have a very short window as far as age/maturity goes. You're wishing to settle in and start a family but, you're still young enough that a women at your maturity level (which isn't very high btw) is only 1-2 years younger or older than you. I do respect your predicament but, it would appear to me that you are reaching. Over reaching perhaps

That said, you can find her in any country but, you seem to need risk guarantees and there are none

[steveboy]

there does seem to be some sleet hitting the deck outside my window, be interesting to see what the chickens think of it in the morning (this is their first winter) It's supposed to continue on through Thanksgiving, i hope it doesn't though, plan on hunting some deer Thurs and maybe Fri. 

Seeing as i'm on here I bet you can guess things did not progress with the woman from Moldova.  I did have an amazing time while i was there, met a few great Brit-ex-pats and many great locals.  It is on the list of places i'd be happy to visit again.

LAman, Moldova was wonderful, i spend about a week in Chisinau it is a beautiful city.  I have many great photos and memories from there (I love working in a dark room) As to women from my country, I have not given up on them as an option, but i would rather start having a family sooner than later and i've noticed that most American women are either too focused on their careers or not mature enough (please keep in mind i did mention i prefer women that are younger than me, about 5-7 yrs younger)

Moldova is a great Country!! Im living there now for a little longer, beats me why so few guys visit the place((

[Shadow]

Welcome. First of all do not listen to the old guard that feels you are too young. You are never too young to look for a wife (though may be too young to do it legally  ).
As for maturity I also have to disagree, however the younger women will be a lot less desparate and there for more critical in making a choice.
Some time between 25 and 30 women start to realize that their handsome prince may not arrive and will settle for the mose decent replacement they can find.

However I am curious what special criteria you have that make it impossible to find an American woman who can accept you. Could you elaborate?

[Anotherkiwi]

  siegoris!  I'm glad that you have already got your feet wet (so to speak) in the FSUW pool.
 
 

As to women from my country, I have not given up on them as an option, but i would rather start having a family sooner than later and i've noticed that most American women are either too focused on their careers or not mature enough (please keep in mind i did mention i prefer women that are younger than me, about 5-7 yrs younger)

At your age you are way younger than the majority who are looking for a potential wife from the FSU, and certainly way younger than the average age of the men posting here!  Although this should give you an overwhelming advantage when it comes to chasing younger women, what makes you think that young FSUW are any more mature than their western cousins?  You're looking for what - 21 to 24 year olds?  Just because women from the FSU usually have children at an earlier age than those from Western Europe, or from North America, doesn't make them any more mature.  See the posts immediately above from jone and Faux Pas.
 
I don't know what it was like in Chisinau ( a place that I would certainly like to visit one day), but in Russia and Ukraine the biggest impression this age group made on me was their use of mobile phones.  Nearly every girl of that age seemed to be constantly talking or texting on her phone, and even the older ones weren't immune.  It got to the point where I mentioned to a local that it would surely be simpler for most to have the phone welded to their head!      Do you seriously want to hook up with someone like that?
 
I'd second the suggestion that you stick to your country, for a while at least, before making any decision about looking overseas.  Two or three more years won't change you that much - nor, hopefully, will it stunt your ability to create little siegorises (siegorei?) - but it should certainly change many of the age group which you're looking at now.  Keep chasing the same group of people, sure, but let them mature for two or three more years.
 
Anyway, best of luck with whatever you decide.

[siegoris]

Yikes, good morning everyone, lots of interesting responses.  some of my photos from Chisinau are on here http://www.flickr.com/photos/siegoris/sets/72157638110353363/

A little more background from me.  one of my first major relationships was with a former FSU woman (she was born in Baku, Azerbaijan, her family had to leave the country, she lived in Israel for a few years before making it to NYC)  I spent a lot of time with her parents and all their FSU friends.  We were together for a number of years but were on different paths (she was a couple years older and i was around 19 when we met).  my last major relationship was with a British woman, we were engaged and the plan was i was going to move to the UK for a few years before her and her two kids came back to the US with me. Things there fell apart when her kid sister died suddenly a couple years ago.  looking back i guess i have a thing for foreign women.

I'm a very family oriented person, and was the youngest in the family until my sister gave birth this past spring.  I immensely enjoy spending time with my niece and with my tenants grand kids (aged 4+5) but it makes me look forward to starting a family of my own.  I'm definitely not giving up on women from my country (a lot easier to not deal with flights and visa's etc) but i don't want to limit myself to just here. 

Jone - thanks for the advice about the age 25, that's probably more in line with that i'm looking for (i know i initially said 5-7 yrs younger, that mainly stems from the age gap my parents have and they've been together 41 years)  I'd still like her to be younger than me, but as long as they want to have a family age doesn't really matter much (I've dated from 5 yrs younger to 15 yrs older)

Shadow - thanks for the encouraging words.  I'm not saying it's impossible to find an American woman, I don't want to limit myself to just here to find the right one. 

Anotherkiwi - thanks for the advice, that phone issue seems to be a worldwide issue for the younger generations. 

[Shadow]

Thanks for the added information. It is smart not to limit yourself, as it increases your chances. My next advise will be to search for women without children. It is a different thing to see children of others and having your own, and at your age you should build the experience together instead of stepping in to a ready made family.
Besides that, producing them can be a lot of fun.

The word 'family oriented' seems to indicate that you prefer to sit at home rather than going out to clubs. Nothing bad, just be aware that if that is your mindset you may need to find someone with the same.
Foreign women may seem easier to find as when you are abroad you may easier go out as when at home. However if you are a home person and you happen to meet a clubbing woman it is a recipe for disaster later on.
Look in the mirror and carefully make a list of your own habits, and what you would like your wife to have as habits as well. Then find someone that matches most of the list, a perfect match would be as good as impossible.
Do not hurry, you are young enough to waste some time on finding even if you may feel different. Be yourself, follow what is important to you and do not attempt to be another person unless you can keep it up the rest of your life.

[siegoris]

Shadow - what i mean by family oriented is that i enjoy being around family and close friends, for example the first sunday of every month our entire family gets together for the day (this started after my grandpa passed 6 years ago and my gran was in her 90's) and i look forward to the big family gatherings, like Thanksgiving tomorrow (I think there's going to be around 20 people and 5 dogs). 

[Shadow]

Shadow - what i mean by family oriented is that i enjoy being around family and close friends, for example the first sunday of every month our entire family gets together for the day (this started after my grandpa passed 6 years ago and my gran was in her 90's) and i look forward to the big family gatherings, like Thanksgiving tomorrow (I think there's going to be around 20 people and 5 dogs).

And how do you link that to moving a woman away from her family and separating her by 5000 miles and an ocean?

[siegoris]

That would be a decision made between her and i, could very much end up living there instead. where i live in the future doesn't matter one bit as long as i have the right person by my side. 

[Shadow]

That would be a decision made between her and i, could very much end up living there instead. where i live in the future doesn't matter one bit as long as i have the right person by my side.

While I agree, it does not rhyme with the liking of big gatherings. One of you will miss their family gatherings, unless you have the means and opportunity to frequently travel. The expectation that because one has a similar good family bond they will fit in to the spouses family often turns out to be a failure.

[Faux Pas]

There seemed to be a prevailing attitude when I was in my late teens early 20's that kids were maturing much earlier than in the previous 50 years or so. I have never seen it that way. Seems to me and it is just MVHO there has been a progression that kids are mentally maturing much later at a much slower pace. Maybe that's from my experience raising kids, I dunno.

My daughter even who is probably one of the smartest, sweetest well rounded woman at 26 still has her deficiencies in that area. I notice many of her friends whom I have know since they were tots have all out mental maturity voids. In the FSU with some of my wife's relatives it's near identical.

I mention that not as a deterrent but for ammo. The woman you say you are looking for is going to be very difficult to find. If you do by chance find her, you will be a very lucky man. Not impossible as they are certainly there but, mental maturity to build a life with in her early mid 20's, a rare find indeed

[Wayne]

When we got married in Ukraine, there was a long line of couples waiting in line. Every 15 minutes a couple was married. All of the other couples were very young! Of course, most of the girls were not getting married to someone from USA.
 
If you can spend enough time in an FSU country, you could find someone.

[mendeleyev]

Welcome, siegoris.

What you seek at your age is not likely to be on a foreign dating website. What you seek is actually plentiful but you'll need to be here to find them because at the age of 25-28 most of these gals are not looking for a foreign mate and if they were, it would be Europe for closeness and ease of travel. The ladies on MOB sites are often very different generally from most ladies who live in FSU countries and as you appear to have a keen sense of travel, I'd encourage you to spent extended time locally in FSU cities to increase your chances for success.

I don't think it realistic for you to live in Moldova; you've been there and likely understand the reasons why. Living in Ukraine and Russia isn't going to be terribly different in most respects and most marriages where the guy moves to the FSU seem not to last very long in what I've personally seen. There are exceptions, but the pressures of obtaining legal residency is not easy for most, finding a job and learning the language and then adapting to the culture while complying with various visa restrictions regarding length of stay while in-country and the added obligations of meeting the income expectations for a family all combine to eventually kill a relationship. Hats off to those who do make it.

I agree greatly with those who caution you about age groups and maturity levels. I have a Russian daughter who is under 25, she is married, and just yesterday my wife and I were talking about strategies to help the daughter and son-in-law thru some immaturity issues both are experiencing. Our young lady is super intelligent and already has a master's level degree but education and upbringing are no guarantee that they will make good life decisions at a young age and inexperienced.

[Anotherkiwi]

I agree greatly with those who caution you about age groups and maturity levels. I have a Russian daughter who is under 25, she is married, and just yesterday my wife and I were talking about strategies to help the daughter and son-in-law thru some immaturity issues both are experiencing. Our young lady is super intelligent and already has a master's level degree but education and upbringing are no guarantee that they will make good life decisions at a young age and inexperienced.

Exactly!  Intelligence and common-sense are found together far less than one would assume - or so my mother keeps telling me. 

[Rational_Julia]

At your age you are way younger than the majority who are looking for a potential wife from the FSU, and certainly way younger than the average age of the men posting here!

Belarusian girls are encouraged to marry as soon as they graduate from university and it's 22-23yo. The girl who has nobody by the end of school feels very uneasy. Though average time for a minsker to marry is 27yo according to statistics (I was 26, young bride LOL).

So if girls of 22-23 are allright for you, you have good chances. I have female friends from english department who would like to date a foreigner, but 30+ are too old for them. So if you go to freepersonals you will have lines of young girls competing for your attention.