Attempting to find serious women in the east

[Ranetka]

This is something both ML and I have commented on in the past - RW seem to have this habit of ignoring you if they're not interested, or lose interest after a few emails.  It's a pain in the rear trying to figure out, after further fruitless letters, whether or not you've been dumped or if you need to give her another chance because there just may have been a genuine reason for her not responding.

aArgh.....again its not rw, its men and women....both genders and all nationalities....be fair guys.

[Anotherkiwi]

He is.

I stopped being nice to everyone after a couple of unpleasant experiences when men were unhappy with thank you but no thank you messages. Including physical threats (had a mistake in giving Facebook details too soon, my name/surname combination is unique, very easy to find my address ).

I had a couple of "thanks, but no thanks" when I thought things were actually going quite well.  I know that, as a general rule, we don't understand women, but it's a hell of a lot harder when they don't even give us the courtesy of telling us WHY they dumped us!  Most of us can take rejection with reasonable equanimity - it's the uncertainty that annoys us.  I tried to rekindle one, but that was a dead duck, so I never bothered again with anyone else.

I'm sorry that you've had these bad experiences - were they when you were still in Russia, or after you moved to England?  I suppose it's a symptom of my naiveté that I never realised (before finding this forum) that such things happened.  As for your name and surname - Ekaterina Vladimirovna Putina (or is it Medvedeva?) would be pretty unique!

This is something both ML and I have commented on in the past - RW seem to have this habit of ignoring you if they're not interested, or lose interest after a few emails.  It's a pain in the rear trying to figure out, after further fruitless letters, whether or not you've been dumped or if you need to give her another chance because there just may have been a genuine reason for her not responding.

aArgh.....again its not rw, its men and women....both genders and all nationalities....be fair guys.

Maybe, but I've never had it from a WW, only from the FSU...sorry!

[GQBlues]

ukthesis-

If you read the boards, especially the recent threads, I'm sure you won't miss much of experiences expressed here by these mostly distinguished gentlemen regarding their respective experiences with all of FSUWs...

They are, amongst other things, pragmatic, traditional, educated, slim, mature for their ages, and aspire to marry western men much more so compared to RMs, who are notoriously drunken men. Marrying western men is above and foremost amongst their life's aspiration. So it seems you already have that at your advantage. Age and appearance matters no to very little at all. I now agree with all of them about, so go for the youngest one you can find...just put your luck in the pot and have a go at it, man.

As for your cited experiences thus far, just be patient I guess. These wonderful women will come around.

Good luck!

[Gator]

I stopped being nice to everyone after a couple of unpleasant experiences when men were unhappy with thank you but no thank you messages. Including physical threats (had a mistake in giving Facebook details too soon, my name/surname combination is unique, very easy to find my address ).

Some sick people out there.  No one likes rejection.     However, I do not understand why it is necessary for someone who is rejected to insult or threaten.  Does anyone have an explanation? 

RW are not famous for sugar coating, yet they want to make their intentions clear and may not know polite subtleties of other languages.  Is that part of it?  Even if the "no thank you" is terse, there is no excuse for threats. 

My stepdaughter encountered such here.  I spare the details, yet it want so far as to have met in a safe place before she rejected him.  I reported the threats to the City police and talked to a detective, a female detective.  She said she could do nothing:   although the threats were made from his phone there was no way to prove that he sent the message.  Her advice, keep a log. 

That was not good enough for me.   So I called a professor at the university who is married to an UW.  The next day the university police pulled the culprit off his job and detained him for 12 hours without arrest in the university holding cell.  He stopped his threats.    University police do whatever they can to preempt  an assault against  a student even if the threat sounds hollow.

We went on alert at home.  My stepdaughter deleted her profile.  She gave it another try  later,  and soon met someone very special to her.

[Ranetka]

It was in the uk 5 years ago. I sent copies to police just in case,  blocked him on Facebook and never replied and that was the end of it but learnt less interaction equals less problems.
Men get angry because they feel entitled to get a woman after the time invested, this is my opinion. Who knows really.

[Ranetka]

Jst realized i probably used the wrong word, sorry. I was not physically threatened, we never met, it was threatening messages to harm  me physically and he found my address so it felt intimidating.

[Slumba]

I had a couple of "thanks, but no thanks" when I thought things were actually going quite well.  I know that, as a general rule, we don't understand women, but it's a hell of a lot harder when they don't even give us the courtesy of telling us WHY they dumped us!

Women themselves often don't know why... so they can't tell you.

[Daveman]

aArgh.....again its not rw, its men and women....both genders and all nationalities....be fair guys.

Yes, it certainly is.

[Daveman]

He is.

I stopped being nice to everyone after a couple of unpleasant experiences when men were unhappy with thank you but no thank you messages. Including physical threats (had a mistake in giving Facebook details too soon, my name/surname combination is unique, very easy to find my address ).

Sorry, reading this thread in reverse order. This is rather shocking behavior.  Physical threats from a guy you've never met?  We've all heard the stories of the dating site pervs, etc., but this really is just beyond stupid - and criminal.

Just once? or more?

[Gator]

Jst realized i probably used the wrong word, sorry. I was not physically threatened, we never met, it was threatening messages to harm  me physically and he found my address so it felt intimidating.

IMO it is a physical threat, and should never have happened.   The fact that he sleuthed your residential address would alarm me, and I am a strong man who can put up a good fight if confronted. 

[BillyB]

Men get angry because they feel entitled to get a woman after the time invested, this is my opinion. Who knows really.

Men who focuses on one woman for months and aren't in a relationship with her can be this way. They've invested a good chunk of their life, feel they're owed something, then get sour grapes when a lady wants to stop communicating or dating them.


Don't let a few bad incidences affect how you view men. If you take a jaded view of men to a new date, you may scare off a good man. I once asked a woman why she was so defensive and cautious on a first date. She told me she had a lot of bad experiences with men. I told her that it's not my fault and I don't deserve to be punished for their bad behavior. She treated me better and our time together was more enjoyable but I ended up determining she was too far psychologically scarred by her experiences with men for me to enjoy a lifetime with her.

[jazztropy]

It was in the uk 5 years ago. I sent copies to police just in case,  blocked him on Facebook and never replied and that was the end of it but learnt less interaction equals less problems.
Men get angry because they feel entitled to get a woman after the time invested, this is my opinion. Who knows really.

I think it would be Men clueless about courting women get angry........etc.  My opinion is such people get angry because they invest themselves heavily into a prospective woman before meeting her in person.  This is something the experienced members here warn the newbies against repeatedly: don't fall in love with a picture.

[calmissile]

I think it would be Men clueless about courting women get angry........etc.  My opinion is such people get angry because they invest themselves heavily into a prospective woman before meeting her in person.  This is something the experienced members here warn the newbies against repeatedly: don't fall in love with a picture.

Very true!!!!   Skype helps sort them out, but do not fall in love until you have spent a lot of time together.

In some ways Skype is wonderful, you can get a drift of personalities, etc.  but...... not until you spend time together do you know if it is fake or not.    If not fake, then you have built on a beginning of a relationship.

[Ranetka]

Sorry, reading this thread in reverse order. This is rather shocking behavior.  Physical threats from a guy you've never met?  We've all heard the stories of the dating site pervs, etc., but this really is just beyond stupid - and criminal.

Just once? or more?

That extreme was only once. I had received insulting emails and texts a good few times though. So I ended up NEVER EVER responding if I was not interested and NEVER EVER responding if I decided to stop email exchange. NEVER EVER advising I decided to stop texting or seeing someone; if after fairy long email exchange and/or date(s) a man asks why I had not replied I'd say something like I do not think it's working for me and would NEVER EVER reply to anything after that. Not worth it.

[Ranetka]

Sorry, reading this thread in reverse order. This is rather shocking behavior.  Physical threats from a guy you've never met?  We've all heard the stories of the dating site pervs, etc., but this really is just beyond stupid - and criminal.

Just once? or more?

Making threats without an attempt to carry threats through is not illegal in the UK. Stalking is however.

[Ranetka]

Some sick people out there.  No one likes rejection.     However, I do not understand why it is necessary for someone who is rejected to insult or threaten.  Does anyone have an explanation? 

RW are not famous for sugar coating, yet they want to make their intentions clear and may not know polite subtleties of other languages.  Is that part of it?  Even if the "no thank you" is terse, there is no excuse for threats. 

Some people are just wackos, they do not really need any provocation to set off.

[Muzh]

Yes, but I'm VERY picky!  I've been divorced once, and I don't want to go through that again (it was pretty painless as divorces go, and we stayed friends, but it was still extremely expensive to buy her share of the house and chattels  ).  My list of requirements is pretty exhaustive, and there are very few women that I would even consider as marriage material - and, of those, there are probably only one or two who might consider ME to be suitable for them.

I have to shake my head here.
 
The only way you will NOT go through that again is not marrying AGAIN.
 
However, if you re-marry, there is always the possibility it will happen.
 
The trick is working on the relationship. Constantly. Forever. BOTH.
 
And still, there are no guarantees.
 
That is being realistic.
 
 

[Muzh]

This is rather shocking behavior.  Physical threats from a guy you've never met? 

Isn't it?
 
Not only the dating pervs issue physical threats to people they never met before. They are all over these pages.

[Anotherkiwi]

I have to shake my head here.
 
The only way you will NOT go through that again is not marrying AGAIN.
 
However, if you re-marry, there is always the possibility it will happen.
 
The trick is working on the relationship. Constantly. Forever. BOTH.
 
And still, there are no guarantees.
 
That is being realistic.

Don't worry, Muzh, I totally agree!   I'll just have to see what (or who) turns up in the future.