General advices for avoiding scams, and my story from Ukraine

[Rimrock300]

Guys,

I'm a 41 year old from scandinavia that have some experience with dating in Ukraine. Engineer of trade. Calm, normal guy. No drinker. There are endless of 'anti scam' threads on this, and other forums at the web through the years. BUT, such advices can't be repeated enough.. Here's my version. No one wants to wast more time and money than stricktly necessary in their such for a wife..


(First of all, I did'nt vaste more than 2 months of net salory on my last ukrainian 'adventure', and that's no big deal;) I did not marry here, just visited 3-4 times over a 16 months periode. Monthly money for 'english lesson', naturally, + gifts, dinners, translator, taxies, visa scam, travel. Life goes on. I might keep on looking in ukraine, or might not, but for now I've got a break. Single life is not that bad;) )


Alright. We are men, middle aged men. Good men, naturally, compared to all of them ex-sovjets ones [ironi] Single. We feel lonely, to miss love and a regualar sex life. Oh, sure it would be great to have one of them sporty qute looking young bloooond girls running around our home right now! Oh yeah baby! Just as in the movies.  Lets go! What do we have got here..? A computer. Mine of course, it on my desk. Internet? Oh yeah, I've got connection. Google? I've got the knowledge, baby I'm on my way!....'Women + wife'...AHA!! Ukraine. Location; south eastern Europe. They've got an airport too. Alright! Good! Then we got the geographical stuff sorted out. I've got a map, I'll sure will find my way.
Let's continue; one of the poorest countries in Europe, and most corrupted nations in the world. Okay..Will that scare us? NO WAY! Continue! Please! ; plenty of slim lovely single ladies that have not been adicted to the 'McBurger' diet. Yet. Looking for some kind of stable future husband. 10-20-30 years older husband, no problem! That's all perfectly so great. Can't wait to get started our search for that perfect wife!


Hold your horses!! Hooooooooold it...Money. Is it free to contact ladies in Ukraine, and to travel, stay there..? Noooo...dosen't seams so. Do I got money? Oh yeah baby! I'm just advanced to 2'nd warehouse manager you know! Am I ready to spend 30K to 100K US dollars the next 2-5 years to find my perfect wife? Nooo...can't be that expencive and take that long, I'm a proffesional when it comes to love! $5K and 1 year, and it is all done! Then it's aaaaall done baby! How much did you say it will take to support my future ukrainian wife in my country the next 3-4 years, before she might get a job? $15-20K a year? LMO..noooo waaaay, you must be kidding me? Let's jump into it!


Alright, seriously. Yeah, you can find I honest, open and caring good wife, some years younger than you, in Ukraine. IF you are willing, and can, put the necessary money and time into it;) True strong love? Mmmm...maybe. Okay, so-so love then, stable relationship that can last some years? Alright..more likely, maybe.


One can never remove all risks for beeing scammed, but one can reduce them. Let's face it; parts of the population of Ukraine live in deep poverty. So, you come from one of the richest countries in the world, traveling to poor Ukraine to meet women. That's a special situation. Naturally some women have good jobs, not need any man to support them at all. And naturally many women don't have a good job, would sure like a man to support them. There are good and bad people in all countries, good and bad poor people, good and bad rich people)


- The foregin men looking for a wife' buisness is a BIG buisness in Ukraine. Much needed foregin money are flowing into a country in a terrible financial situation after 2008 crises. Unstable financial, sosial and political situation. Knock knock, any Mafia at home? Of course. They control Ukraine, especially southern/eastern Ukraine, and sure have more or less control of most of the dating agency/translator agency buisness. Protection money. We are talking dollars. If you are scammed, forget about getting any money back. Forget law suites. It's in the hands of the mafia. As is the police, politicians and so on. Just face it ; lost. But not worry, life on the surface apears normal and quiet in a typical ukrainian city, very small risk of getting robbed on the street and so on (if you not are totally drunk at the wrong at the wrong location, at the wrong time of the day)


-  Initially; do not trust ANY woman that you meet on the dating sites. But be polite in the communication, there MIGHT be a honest woman behind the profile. Doesn't matter if she looks as qute, peacefull and nice as you grandmother. Prepare yourself; a scammer lady can surprice you as much as you would be if you one day spotted your 'nice' 78 year old grandmother running out of a bank with a gun in her hand..


 - Is she 20-30 years old and to state that she to accept communication with men up in the 50-60 year range? STAY AWAY. Most 'true' ladies of up to 30-35 years that are looking to start a family won't be interested in you if you are 45+. So they state 40, or 45 as max age in their profiles. Period. (If you are 45+ and look for 15-20 year younger lady, don't be sad, there are of course exceptions. Just be carefull. If you are Brad Pit and have millions of dollars, alright, you get what you want)


- Try to communicate with women that appears to have a good education, good job, and can communicate with you in english, or french, or german, or whatever other than russian, without a translator. Stay away from women that can't speak english. Translator and english lessons will make everything take MUCH longer, and expencive. There is plenty of women speaking good english. I did contact, and visit, a women that could not english, and lived in a small city out east, Sumy. I think it was a scam from day one with that translator, money for lessons and so on. A setup with several people involved.


- The lady to ask for money in letters, before you have met? GO AWAY.


- Many scammers nowadays don't just sit in front of their computer and write scam letters. They as also post their real pictures, and like to meet in person, even several times over 1-2 years, if they don't find you 'too bad'. they might don't want to kiss you, ou hold your hands, but writes 'million kisses' love you love you ' in letters. They will take you to shops, and ask for gifts for themselves, and children they have. the most expencive restaurants in town, together with translator all the time. translator often to make 5-10 times more than your lady, but demands free food. They might make you buy expencive clothes to her child, and just calms you down with 'we will also use them for our future children'. They will let you meet their mother, child to build trust. But they will not show you where they live. All meetings will be in city centrum. If your lady not invite you home after 2 meetings, be alarmed. You will stay in centrum, and she will pick you up in a taxi.


- Visit lady first time; ask to see her ID (name + address if possible) Take a close up photo of it. If she has not notified you about cost for translator, if needed, taxi (if long trip) and apartment in ADVANCE, be alarmed. Ukrainain ladies are used to small salory, and always wants to keep control of costs in their daly life. If they are true about you, they will also try to help you be prepared.


- If she almost never ask questions about your life, your country, in letters or personal meetings, be alarmed..Many ladies live poor life in Ukraine, but just a very ver small percentage of them will actually move away from their friends and family to a country far away. But a good scammer is a expert in makeing you belive that she IS interested in you, and might move to you in future. It's her job. 


- If you have used the same taxidriver for small trips locally in her city, as is bringing you to the airport; ask him to write down her address, if he has picked her up at her home. Say you want 'to send her a surprice gift'.. then you can get a double check, and compare it to what she has told you. My lady send me a false address regarding me sending her documents for her visa, I later detected. It was same address as for her translator, or translator agency. Why should she hide her true address? She got the documents naturally,, because they all cooperated. But she wanted to hide her address, as she wanted to be hard to find, after scam done..)


- If sending documents for visa, send them as 'registrated mail'. then you can check out that she actually have gotten them. I lost my recipt for the shipment of documents for her, and could not check it out. Then after 1-2 weeks said she she had gotten them, and asked for money going to the embassey. After 1.5 months I got the letter in return, it had never been opened. I by a mistake had forgotten to write 'her' apartment number, so it did not reach anyone. The rest of the address, as street and apartment building was okay, but as she actually didn't live there, the postman did not get it right naturally, which he probably would by recognize her name from past deliveries..All this time, 1.5 months, she pretended to be exited and getting ready to visit me for a holliday;) When it got close to her departure day, she had exuses like problems at work and so on, and said; sorry not hoilday before May!) Of course, did not had any visa, and qould not travel anyway;)) At the same last 1.5 month periode she had been very active on both real, and false dating profiles of herself, I to discover just around New Year. She was looking for a new 'client', but kept on sending me the sweetest letters, and we had the sweetest Skype conversations...wanting me to continue helping her with english lessons until May, and possible next meeting.


She appeared as a shy, calm and sweet little lady;) I was totally surpriced by detecting her dark side...! Puuuh . I was naturally a fool.


Be carefull guys....Poverty is sad, and it can make people make sad choices regarding getting food on the plate.

But; honest women are out there on the interweb, it's just a matter of finding them among all the scammers. Good luck.

Some general info;
Typical monthly salory working in a shop in ukraine, $150-300
Price for getting a international passport; $100
Travelinsurance for your lady; $25 a week (+/-?)

If you insists going to Sumy, alright I won't stop you; food it good and afordable, girls are pretty.

Hire a translator $15-20 an hour (typically they will stay with you 10 hours a day)
Staying 5 nights in Sumy (5 hours away from airport, $200 taxi, should be ordered by your lady. Will be +20% if ordered at the airport), dinners for you, your lady and translator, 10 hours a day, some gifts, cinema, apartment, local taxi trips in town (cheap), airline ticket from europe to Kiev, totals $4000
Bring enough creditcards.

Minibusses to go every hour to/from Borispol airport to most parts of ukraine. 10% of the cost of taxi. Same travel time. More comfortable because of heavier vehicle, and larger wheels, is my meaning. Ukraine is the country of '1 Billion pot holes'.

First time you should go with taxi. Put later its possible to go with buses. Bus tickets http://e-travels.com.ua/en/ , must be ordered in advance. Agree with them by email which airport terminal they should pick you up. Print the receipt and bring it. Also order the return bus-trip online, and bring that receipt too.

[cc3]

Welcome to RWD, Rimrock. Are you interested in writing an introductory post, so that your sad story has a little more background for us members, many of whom have had very happy and successful relationships with Ukrainians?

[Shadow]

Visited 3 or 4 times you can not remember? Further more, 3 times in 16 months without any progress in forming a permanent relationship is enough to make the best woman stop the relationship, no need for her to be a scammer.

Then the funny part. You describe Ukraine as one of the poorest countries in Europe. It is not.
You state a salary is $150-$300 per month, yet pay it to an interpreter per day.

Now there is a lot of information in your post, but actually nothing you could not have found 16 months ago.

[Rimrock300]

I have not so many further comments to my first post. I just wrote what I to experienced, and each of you can think what ever you want about it. It was 4 trips in 13 months, August of 2012 to September of 2013. Kept in thouch some months after my last visit in September 2013.
Alright, what I want to say is that trying to find your love by searching on the internet, communicateing with women living far away, in a different country and culture, meeting her 2-3 weeks a year in your hollidays, is a very very tricky operation. Maybe 1 of 500, 1 of 1000 men who tries hard, I don't know the exact odds, have sucess. One never knows what hides behind those pretty faces; a good women, or bad women. Many times it very difficult to guess, and one just have to take a big, calculated risk. Sure one will find a good RW wife after X years, and xxx.xxx money, but everyone have to ask themselves; is it worth the effort? Are you willing to put the necessary time and money in to it? Can you/will you support your foregin spouse for X years before she might get into work. Are you willing to have/and support your mother-inlaw staying at your home for months at the time? And so on. I guess I am not desperate enough. May just 'battle one' with the good ol local women, and to forget aboutthe idea of young pretty RWs;)  I totally respect, and adirme those of you who actually have done all the steps in finding a good RW wife, and live happy life)

[Chelseaboy]

cc3,

      I appreciate you have found your lady in Ukraine,and big congratulations for that,but you are very much in the minority in having success in achieving that out there.

To say that many forum members have had a happy and successful relationship with a Ukrainian is stretching it a bit.

How many members have married a Ukrainian woman in the last two years..on this forum ?

[Daveman]

One never knows what hides behind those pretty faces; a good women, or bad women. Many times it very difficult to guess, and one just have to take a big, calculated risk.

The good, the bad, the incompatible...  Finding a "good" woman isn't enough.  Hell, it isn't even close to enough.  It's extremely difficult to develop the foundation for a "lasting relationship" unless there is a very high percentage of real compatibility AND chemistry.

Sure one will find a good, compatible RW wife after X years,

There it is again.  Finding a good woman isn't that difficult.  Compatibility coupled with chemistry is the elusive factor X. 

and xxx.xxx money, but everyone have to ask themselves; is it worth the effort? Are you willing to put the necessary time and money in to it? Can you/will you support your foregin spouse for X years before she might get into work. Are you willing to have/and support your mother-inlaw staying at your home for months at the time? And so on.

All pertinent "starter" questions any man considering this should seriously ask himself.   

I guess I am not desperate enough. May just 'battle one' with the good ol local women, and to forget aboutthe idea of young pretty RWs;)  I totally respect, and adirme those of you who actually have done all the steps in finding a good RW wife, and live happy life)

Any man who *is* "desperate" should stay far, far, even farther away from this.

[Chelseaboy]

Rimrock,

           A bigger percentage of men seem to be having more success in meeting their future wife in the Stans within the last couple of years,so if you still have a big wish to find a wife in the FSU you might try those countries.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

[Shadow]

I have not so many further comments to my first post. I just wrote what I to experienced, and each of you can think what ever you want about it. It was 4 trips in 13 months, August of 2012 to September of 2013. Kept in thouch some months after my last visit in September 2013.
Alright, what I want to say is that trying to find your love by searching on the internet, communicateing with women living far away, in a different country and culture, meeting her 2-3 weeks a year in your hollidays, is a very very tricky operation. Maybe 1 of 500, 1 of 1000 men who tries hard, I don't know the exact odds, have sucess. One never knows what hides behind those pretty faces; a good women, or bad women. Many times it very difficult to guess, and one just have to take a big, calculated risk. Sure one will find a good RW wife after X years, and xxx.xxx money, but everyone have to ask themselves; is it worth the effort? Are you willing to put the necessary time and money in to it? Can you/will you support your foregin spouse for X years before she might get into work. Are you willing to have/and support your mother-inlaw staying at your home for months at the time? And so on. I guess I am not desperate enough. May just 'battle one' with the good ol local women, and to forget aboutthe idea of young pretty RWs;)   I totally respect, and adirme those of you who actually have done all the steps in finding a good RW wife, and live happy life)

The point which I already made is very simple. There are several phases in tryin to create a long-distance relationship.
First phase is exploration. You write to women, try to get their phone number and see if they are able to use Skype for direct conversation. All of this leads up to phase 2, if possible within a well planned short time so you do not come over like a keyboard Romeo.
Second phase is visit. Depending on your preferences, time and how you are used to deal with dating you can visit one or multiple woman for a first impression. The goal of this is to see if the chemistry you had by long-distance communication is present when face to face. If there is any doubt, do not pursue unless you have enough free time to make multiple trips in relative short time frame.
After the first meeting the communication by email and skype should increase, not decrease. If there are no signs of increased interest, move on. If all feels right (and if it does you will know without doubt) go to phase three.
Phase three is targeting a full time relationship. This means a second visit to experience life together without tourist ideas for as long as you can make it happen, ending with the start of preparations to live together. These preparations vary from person to person as every state and country are different. Use this time to visit as often as possible, yet give priority to the task of arranging all paperwork.

Both time and money is needed, but these can be reduced by understanding what you are needing to do. If you wish to make 5 visits before moving towards a visa and you can visit only twice a year, forget about it. A good woman will not wait for you to propose for two years unlessthere is a way to be together outside marriage.
About money, you are founding a family. That means you have the responsibility to feed it If she wishes to earn her own money (and most women do)  that should be an extra, not a necessity for life.

If I read your posts I see where you went wrong, and if you read this I guess you will also know.

[Daveman]

cc3,

      I appreciate you have found your lady in Ukraine,and big congratulations for that,but you are very much in the minority in having success in achieving that out there.

The anecdotal evidence appears to be in agreement with you.  I've stated more than thrice that most who attempt this will fail.  Only a small percentage of meetings will lead to a relationship, and only a small fraction of those relationships will lead to marriage.  That aspect isn't much different than meeting/dating locally.  For some reason guys want to believe that FSUW have inherent magic which changes that small slice of reality.  You just don't marry the vast overwhelming majority of women you meet and date - for a wide variety of reasons.  Those reason don't go away by virtue of getting on a plane.

To say that many forum members have had a happy and successful relationship with a Ukrainian is stretching it a bit.

How many members have married a Ukrainian woman in the last two years..on this forum ?

londrake, calmissile, perhaps jmana (k-1), saltheart. Those are the only four I can think of at this moment.  Are there more?

[ML]

Are there more?

What about you Dave; or are you past the two year mark noted?

[alex330]

The anecdotal evidence appears to be in agreement with you.  I've stated more than thrice that most who attempt this will fail.  Only a small percentage of meetings will lead to a relationship, and only a small fraction of those relationships will lead to marriage.  That aspect isn't much different than meeting/dating locally.  For some reason guys want to believe that FSUW have inherent magic which changes that small slice of reality.  You just don't marry the vast overwhelming majority of women you meet and date - for a wide variety of reasons.  Those reason don't go away by virtue of getting on a plane.



londrake, calmissile, perhaps jmana (k-1), saltheart. Those are the only four I can think of at this moment.  Are there more?

We were married 2 years and two days ago and are friends with many AM/RW couples that have been married in the last several years.

[Daveman]

Add Alex to the list, so that's 5.  And a belated Happy Anniversary.. 

What about you Dave; or are you past the two year mark noted?

I would count us as being in the group because the length of time we've been living together as a married couple is just over a year.  We've been legally married for 2.5 years.  So, that averages out to about 1.75 

[alex330]

And a belated Happy Anniversary.. 

Spasibo 

[Gator]

Do not forget Michelangelo.  UW and child, going strong.  5+ years. 

Take away jmana - his just arrived fiancée is Russian.

Yet add another in the incubation stage - yesterday pkeel wrote that he is filing a K1 for his UW.

[calmissile]

I think you can add....
Kevin and Rita (Olympia, Wash)
Mobob  (Oklahoma)
Daryl and Iryna (Toronto)

[I/O]

Alright, what I want to say is that trying to find your love by searching on the internet, communicateing with women living far away, in a different country and culture, meeting her 2-3 weeks a year in your hollidays, is a very very tricky operation.

Agreed.
 

Can you/will you support your foregin spouse for X years before she might get into work.

So once my ol' girl stops having kids and starts working, I can stop supporting her? That really is something to look forward to 'cause she's awful 'spensive to keep.

[Daveman]

I think you can add....
Kevin and Rita (Olympia, Wash)
Mobob  (Oklahoma)
Daryl and Iryna (Toronto)

I think dogspot married in the same time frame, though I can't remember from where is his wife.  Also Olly married an Aussie.  Is she ukrainian?

So we do have, let's say, 'several' married in around the past two years. As wonderful as that is for each of the couples, I can't say that's much more than a drop in the bucket when considering/estimating that number in terms of a ratio though. 

[Gator]

Rimrock,

Before we become too focused on the odds of marrying a sincere woman, I wish to thank you for your post.  You have an entertaining way of expressing your thoughts, and you seem well adjusted.     

Much of your advice is excellent such as:

-   do not believe UW are interested in dating much older men, 

-  do not date women who do not speak English unless you have much time (and money for translators),

-  do not trust the woman in the photo until you meet her,

- do focus on women with good education and good jobs, 

-  do use the local transportation,

-  do not send money until you really know her,

-  do be polite, etc. 

I do take exception with your advice "If your lady not invite you home after 2 meetings, be alarmed..."
This could be because she has a boyfriend at her home.  However, perhaps she does not trust your intentions.  If she brings a foreign man to her flat, her neighbors will notice and some will make unkind comments.  And it looks really bad if she does it again with a different man.  If you are meeting other women, for sure she will not invite you to her home. 

Also, listen to what Shadow has to say.  He is correct.

We have heard from perhaps a hundred or more men at RWD various stories about being scammed.  If you were scammed, you did not spend so much compared to some other men.

[Gator]

Rimrock,

Some advice for you:

To preempt a scam,  avoid the expensive places and the shopping until you have a relationship and you feel she really wants to be with you.  A professional dater will lose interest and say goodbye. 

A sincere woman will understand, and many sincere women try not to spend your money.  They are  examples of the many UW who can be happy with the lifestyle of a 2nd warehouse shift manager. 

Scandinavia has beautiful women, so you have lots of fun with the local women.  If you change your mind and  want to try again to find one of those cute and sincere UW, your experience will help you, starting with using free dating sites.

[JayH]

I think dogspot married in the same time frame, though I can't remember from where is his wife.  Also Olly married an Aussie.  Is she ukrainian?

So we do have, let's say, 'several' married in around the past two years. As wonderful as that is for each of the couples, I can't say that's much more than a drop in the bucket when considering/estimating that number in terms of a ratio though.

Olly is Australian !! From Russia originally.
 There are a lot more guys who have married and not continued on forums-- hopefully some may drift back at some time in the future. The forum being a happier place now may well assist that happening !!

[die_cast]

I by a mistake had forgotten to write 'her' apartment number, so it did not reach anyone. The rest of the address, as street and apartment building was okay, but as she actually didn't live there, the postman did not get it right naturally, which he probably would by recognize her name from past deliveries..

I'd not expect it. Probably in villages a postman could know who lives in which house (and again, house, not building with many apartments), but not in the city. And post office workers would not waste their time trying to find out in which flat your gf can live.

Staying 5 nights in Sumy (5 hours away from airport, $200 taxi, should be ordered by your lady. Will be +20% if ordered at the airport), dinners for you, your lady and translator, 10 hours a day, some gifts, cinema, apartment, local taxi trips in town (cheap), airline ticket from europe to Kiev, totals $4000
Bring enough creditcards.

I'm shocked, tbh. 

[Patagonie]

I have not so many further comments to my first post. I just wrote what I to experienced, and each of you can think what ever you want about it. It was 4 trips in 13 months, August of 2012 to September of 2013. Kept in thouch some months after my last visit in September 2013.
Alright, what I want to say is that trying to find your love by searching on the internet, communicateing with women living far away, in a different country and culture, meeting her 2-3 weeks a year in your hollidays, is a very very tricky operation. Maybe 1 of 500, 1 of 1000 men who tries hard, I don't know the exact odds, have sucess. One never knows what hides behind those pretty faces; a good women, or bad women. Many times it very difficult to guess, and one just have to take a big, calculated risk. Sure one will find a good RW wife after X years, and xxx.xxx money, but everyone have to ask themselves; is it worth the effort? Are you willing to put the necessary time and money in to it? Can you/will you support your foregin spouse for X years before she might get into work. Are you willing to have/and support your mother-inlaw staying at your home for months at the time? And so on. I guess I am not desperate enough. May just 'battle one' with the good ol local women, and to forget aboutthe idea of young pretty RWs;)   I totally respect, and adirme those of you who actually have done all the steps in finding a good RW wife, and live happy life)

I do agree with what you say, about the odds to succeed. And additionaly the mariage is not even a success. Depending of how you date and who you date you can go to a divorce not so long after.
Is it worth the effort ?
YES
For the moment my marriage is fine and we are happy.

But as you said yourself :
Can you/will you support your foregin spouse for X years before she might get into work.
Yes for three years probably minimum
 Are you willing to have/and support your mother-inlaw staying at your home for months at the time?
Yes i already did in the previous month. You have to accept to compensate her standard of living if she suffers from a worse situation after her daughter had gone.


 

[santo]

I met my girl on EM and just got back from a week trip to meet her.  Conversations are still every day just like before we met and we're planning to meet again next month.  At 40 I can tell when a girl is being sincere, especially when I stay with her in a hotel room for 7 days. She never asked for money or anything.  I bought her a total of $50 worth of stuff.

Hearing about all this scam stuff got me super paranoid, and almost made me stop talking to her many times.  Turns out it seems to be real.

I think people expect too much magic with this stuff.  Then get disappointed and call it a scam. They are just like any other girls.  Only a little hotter.

[The Natural]

Can you/will you support your foregin spouse for X years before she might get into work. Are you willing to have/and support your mother-inlaw staying at your home for months at the time?

I can and I'm doing it as we speak    Money is for spending when I'm still alive and well and I can't think of a better way than spending it on my family, including my MIL. She lights up when I buy her some vodka or today when I bought her a bottle of Jameson whiskey (I felt bad for her never tasting whiskey in her life). It also earns me extra points from my MIL when I buy her and my wife fresh prawns and beer to enjoy while I'm at work in the week-end.
 
 PS. As this was a topic further down on the page; I can also be counted as marrying a FSU woman the past couple of years. December of 2012 to be specific 

[Daveman]

I met my girl on EM and just got back from a week trip to meet her.  Conversations are still every day just like before we met and we're planning to meet again next month.  At 40 I can tell when a girl is being sincere, especially when I stay with her in a hotel room for 7 days. She never asked for money or anything.  I bought her a total of $50 worth of stuff.

Hearing about all this scam stuff got me super paranoid, and almost made me stop talking to her many times.  Turns out it seems to be real.

Scams obviously do exist but there is no reason to be paranoid about them.  There are many of us who were never taken in by a scam.  I probably encountered a scammer or three during the communication phase, but I pretty much weeded out anything that seemed a little off, too unrealistic, had any sort of negative vibe, etc.

I still get unsolicited emails from some photos who probably need some visa money, but aside from that old standard - nada. 

I think people expect too much magic with this stuff.  Then get disappointed and call it a scam. They are just like any other girls.  Only a little hotter.

Yes, sometimes, perhaps often, they do.  Especially so with those going over to meet the predetermined - "the one".  Too much pressure to rationalize away silly stuff because, remember, she's "the one".  Of course (before the one trip one lady oneders - hey, that's oh NEE ders - go off the deep end) the situation may turn out that she is "the one".  Most often, however, it doesn't quite pan out that way.  The lady doesn't match the fantasy and then she could be a psycho or a scammer or whatever.  Of course, she's also telling her friends about the loser dorkweed who wasted her time.