Poll for the unmarried men

[jb]

If it's got tits or tires, it's gonna give you trouble.

(Old American idiom)

[PeeWee]

Gosh jb, don't do that.  I would probably have to vote for myself and I was always tought it is not polite to vote for yourself.

As are as the tits and tires thingy.  I guess it depends on how big they are.  Fortunately my truck has pretty big tires.  It does help short sighted people like me. 

LOL!!! Hey, you got my vote every time, Turbo. With regards to the tires, Turbo. I'm just the opposite. The tire on the M-3 are the little skinny ones. I drove for three days without realizing that the left front had gone flat. There is just no downward movement in those tires.

peewee

[Jumper]

wow!
 we are all grumpy old men this particular sunday?? LOL
 
PG-TG
 actually i have always been very open about things pertaining to this venture.
of course i dont disclose everything, nor did i during our courtship,
 there is really no need.
but if someone asked directly i will normally comply..
or give a relevent  experience if i had gone thru one?

obviuosly if its too personal,
 i would just answer that:  sorry thats too personal.

if i did give the details, i wouldnt get to wound up over any comments?
 its the net and if you share the info, it can ansd will be used against you LOL
maybe those browsing need to by read the maranda rights first?


Maxx  recently accused us grumpy old men of something similar..
not sharing personal things..

my reply to him was that , as jb mentioned , our advice is usually based on experience, the details are not really that important of how we came to it?

i then revealed in great detail a very big argument I had with my wife,

 and then asked if those details
actually helped substantiate
 my earlier  advice on culture shock and the fall out in a personal relationship  from it?

they did not.
  
 the details of the argument and what it was over had nothing to do with what she was *actually* going thru,,
 

the details were of no use to anyone, even to us as a couple.

nor the details of how we handled that particular disagreenment ,
 (which wasnt smooth on either parties behalf that time )
it would be of  absolutely no value to anyone reading it.

I posted it as a good example of why i seldom share personal stuff.

the details just arnt relavent,  
an overall
 *here is what we went thru*/ *this is what we experienced *
seems something that a couple could use and relate to?

rather than :
"we had a fight over a piece of bread"
here's exactly what was said.. blah blah blah..

LOL!!

i think jb or KenC once touched in ther following :

the biggest thing to consider, is that with time,
our CURRENT  experince is of less and less value!

because you are just married to a certain woman,
her nationaility just has very little to do with your personal realtionship after a bit of time..

we can only relate or give advice from what we went thru in the past,, as the current situation is no longer as relevent to *RW*
and much more relevent to
*just being married*
and as you mentioned, thats not a very interesting topic for most men.

  but feel free to ask if you think we are holding back?

[Photo Guy]

KenC, thanks for sharing those personal experiences. It's a nice contrast to your recent idea:
'I think most of us do not wish to post personal matters on this forum because, well, they are personal.'

I find the subject interesting because, in this topic, there were NOT many participants for the poll. I guess lurkers remain hidden for unknown reasons. I'm just proposing the idea that lurkers do not participate because they do not want to subject themselves to abusive criticisms. I post my own personal experiences because I find the responses to be interesting on an intellectual level. I've made a lot of friends here and when someone angers me, I realize that my anger will fade after a few months.<wink> Generally, RWD is informative and entertaining.  -doug

[Photo Guy]

jb, you are wrong. I am not saying that I wish your advice had been kinder. I am saying that abusive criticism scares away members from posting anything. (By the way, I landed on the 13th in Kiev and flew out on the 20th, so how do you get 4.5 days?) jb, you need an attitude adjustment. You have some good advice, but some bad advice too. You're the guy who put-down her profession and my profession. If you were facing me in a bar or city park, would you do that? I doubt it. I have few regrets about my choice. Larisa is a very sweet woman. She has her problems, but so do many of us. Perfection does not exist. It is not for you to tell me that she is somehow 'inappropriate' marriage material for me. Where do you get off thinking that you can look that clearly and closely into my personal life? Different women present different challenges. Evidently your wife was/is perfect, and passes your scutiny, but how would you react to an outsider who puts her down and tells you to look elsewhere for someone better? In effect, that is what you did with Larisa. The reasons she returned to Ukraine have absolutely nothing to do with any issues you had mentioned. -doug

[Michelangelo]

I could start another poll along those same lines:

Who do you think will be the next "Crash & Burn" victim?

1.) Turboguy
2.) Peewee
3.) Michaelangelo
4.) Oosik
5.) Bruno

I don't wish anyone bad things, but sometimes I read posts from you guys and it is obvious to me that some of you just don't have a clue.  Clue bats not withstanding, some men are not capable of seeing what's right in front of them if it's got tits or tires.

JB- "There you go again."

I'll use your hero RR's words to describe your tasteless attacks on people who post here seeking advice and who are simply sharing experiences, with the idea that Trip Reports will be invaluable to those who follow us.

Unless you have spent a combined total of 6 months in the FSU the last three years dating FSU girls, you are without current experience, and perhaps you had best refrain from criticizing those who have and stick to what you do actually do well--sharing insights into immigration and government paperwork.

You attacked me and my fiancee. Your comments are personal, wrong, and not appreciated.

[PeeWee]

JB- "There you go again."

I'll use your hero RR's words to describe your tasteless attacks on people who post here seeking advice and who are simply sharing experiences, with the idea that Trip Reports will be invaluable to those who follow us.

Unless you have spent a combined total of 6 months in the FSU the last three years dating FSU girls, you are without current experience, and perhaps you had best refrain from criticizing those who have and stick to what you do actually do well--sharing insights into immigration and government paperwork.

You attacked me and my fiancee. Your comments are personal, wrong, and not appreciated.

Hey, Angelo, I need to find out how the tour works. I'm either going to Paris or Hong Kong. Her agency says that she needs to buy the tour to get the visa. That is fine with me but I have a question for you about that. I sent you an email, lad, did you receive it?

Ok...back to topic at hand. Maybe one day one of your antogonists will turn up in a newbie writer's forum and we can sort of get them heading  in the right direction?

Peewee

[Michelangelo]

Sorry, PeeWee...I had a consulting gig the last 3 days and was away from email, and JB's poll :-)

I'll check email and write you, ok?

Cheers

[Michelangelo]

I could start another poll along those same lines:

Who do you think will be the next "Crash & Burn" victim?

1.) Turboguy
2.) Peewee
3.) Michaelangelo
4.) Oosik
5.) Bruno

I don't wish anyone bad things, but sometimes I read posts from you guys and it is obvious to me that some of you just don't have a clue.  Clue bats not withstanding, some men are not capable of seeing what's right in front of them if it's got tits or tires.

CRASH AND BURN?  Not a clue? 

JB, my man...I spent almost 3 years searching for the right girl.  I had good experiences and bad experiences.  I wrote many and visited many.  I spent quality time with girls I thought I might enjoy.  I looked at dating as a process and not as an end in itself.  I enjoyed myself and I learned a lot.  That's how learning works...

I never asked any girl to marry me....  None were right.  Only one seemed to be a real possibility.

But the girl I met 8 months ago is the real thing.  What makes you think we will "crash and burn?"   We have known each other 8 months.  We have spent 2 trips together in her hometown.  She has escorted me on work trips and vacation trips (3 more).

We have 20,000 sms and emails and phone calls to one another.

We are now engaged, which I defined as being exclusive to each other.  During this time, we will get to know each other even more, with my spending the summer with her in Kiev.

I have been very conservative and cautious--much more so than I would have been in the US.

So when you take pot shots at us, predicting we will "crash and burn," YOU KNOW NOT WHAT YOU SAY.

It would be interesting to see why you think this approach with this girl is all wrong and why you think we will fail...

My guess--it's not about this 8 month relationship with Vik or that you think it's flawed.  It's all about your right wing political beliefs, and an attack at someone who dares question them...

[PeeWee]

LOL, Angelo! I think you will make. As for me...if any will crash it will be I. I'm taking the short route this time. After 3 years with one and 2 with another I figure this third one is going to go one year only. Turn up the volume, so to speak.

Peewee

[Turboguy]

LOL!!! Hey, you got my vote every time, Turbo. With regards to the tires, Turbo. I'm just the opposite. The tire on the M-3 are the little skinny ones. I drove for three days without realizing that the left front had gone flat. There is just no downward movement in those tires.

peewee

glad it was only the tires PeeWee.   Be damn hard to buy bras otherwise.

[Turboguy]

Heck, I think we will all make it.   With a mentor like jb how can we go wrong. :hairraising:

[jb]

Michaelangelo,

My spoof poll was in response to a jab by T/G, your name was just handy because you post often and are in the "looking" stage.

Regards my not living in Moscow and therefore not having current knowledge, well,,,, old friend, I maintain closer contact with what's going on in Moscow than you can imagine. 

And, yes,,, I do regard liberalism to be a mental disorder.

[Michelangelo]

Michaelangelo,

My spoof poll was in response to a jab by T/G, your name was just handy because you post often and are in the "looking" stage.

Regards my not living in Moscow and therefore not having current knowledge, well,,,, old friend, I maintain closer contact with what's going on in Moscow than you can imagine. 

And, yes,,, I do regard liberalism to be a mental disorder.

Ok, understood...

And forgiven.

Considering disorders, they occur on both extremes.  Give me a John McCain as Prez over Ted Kennedy anyday.  But give me John McCain over GW Bush anyday, too.  Too bad SC voted the way they did in 2000....

[PeeWee]

Ok, understood...

And forgiven.

Considering disorders, they occur on both extremes.  Give me a John McCain as Prez over Ted Kennedy anyday.  But give me John McCain over GW Bush anyday, too.  Too bad SC voted the way they did in 2000....

Kennedy can't drive. His chance for a presidency ended upsidedown in a river many years ago. McCain...a Naval aviator and POW. A hero, in otherwords. The republican hero would crush the democrate lush even with out the help of dimpled chads.

Peewee

[Noleman]

As a 'newbie" I came across this site by chance, and that was a good thing.  I find that those in whose shoes we hope to one day tread offer much. This site is informative, humorous, insightful, educational and at times a lifesaver.  I for one have learned much already from what seems to be an inexhaustable amount of past experienes as well as new ones being written every day. 

I can not thank you all enough for all that you so readily give of yourselves. Sharing ones inner most feeelings and emotions is never easy, especially for guys.  But you  do so with the one thought in mind, that if you can be of help in anyway you do so gladly.

Obviously what myself or any others do we do so on our own, and if and when we make mistakes we have no one to blame but ourselves. 

And as long as you guys are willing to share and pass on that which you yourselves have learned and earned the hard way, I for one am willing to learn and listen.

Noleman

[Turboguy]

Glad you feel that way Nobleman.   I have to agree that one of the best things that I can think of is when I found this site. 

Michaleangelo.   Here is a majic word to remember.   "DUCK"  No, I don't mean to squat down, I mean you need to let things run off your back like a duck does with water.  I was also not serious when I posted my mock draft that jb responded to.  jb was just joking around too and just pulled your name out of air.  Sooner or later you are going to say something that someone does not look at the way you do and when you find yourself butting heads with someone, just let anything they say run off your back and don't worry about it.  This can be a great place and give you an enourmous chance to learn about what we are all wanting.  Just when someone does not get real tactfull with thier posts, you have to not let it bother you.

[PeeWee]

Glad you feel that way Nobleman.   I have to agree that one of the best things that I can think of is when I found this site. 

Michaleangelo.   Here is a majic word to remember.   "DUCK"  No, I don't mean to squat down, I mean you need to let things run off your back like a duck does with water.  I was also not serious when I posted my mock draft that jb responded to.  jb was just joking around too and just pulled your name out of air.  Sooner or later you are going to say something that someone does not look at the way you do and when you find yourself butting heads with someone, just let anything they say run off your back and don't worry about it.  This can be a great place and give you an enourmous chance to learn about what we are all wanting.  Just when someone does not get real tactfull with thier posts, you have to not let it bother you.

You present a valid point, Turbo. I do belong to several forums that relate to other topics, other than RW. I got banned for life from one forum that caters to aircraft and airplanes...I was just to obnoxious for their liking (can you imagin that?!) but the point is that forum frequenters are the same no matter what the topic is. You have your know-it-alls and you have your no-nothings. Everyone shares, everyone learns, and in the end we all have a good time. The worst forum frequenters, in my opinion, are the arrogant clowns who litter the writer's forums. Those critical bastards are way beyond what even this duck can take on.

Peewee

[Turboguy]

Thanks for the thoughts PeeWee,   I belong to some other forums too.  Actually I have my own forum for the industry I am in which replaced one that totally self destructed over the posts on it.  Mine is pretty calm and the main other one I go to not related to FSU women is also pretty calm.  Just for the record the one I mentioned that does not relate to my industry is about web design so people don't get too uptight about things. 

I am sure someone with a fragile ego would not last long here.

[Son of Clyde]

I am suprised I have lasted this long. It is probably why I post swan songs but do not leave. The board has toughened me and made me stronger to deal with my family situations. This board is tame compared to life with a RW and stepson. This is why I have not had any further temper tantrums, this board is not all there is to life.

[PeeWee]

I am suprised I have lasted this long. It is probably why I post swan songs but do not leave. The board has toughened me and made me stronger to deal with my family situations. This board is tame compared to life with a RW and stepson. This is why I have not had any further temper tantrums, this board is not all there is to life.

Just remember, man, this is not a support group. I don't know what we call it but it seems to me that there has been benefit for you.

Peewee

[Michelangelo]

Just remember, man, this is not a support group. I don't know what we call it but it seems to me that there has been benefit for you.

Peewee

Actually, it is a support group.  It's just you have to ignore adolescent trash talk to get to the good stuff...

[Jumper]

This board is tame compared to life with a RW and stepson.

Barney/Clyde

I seem to remember this subject coming up long ago..

Isnt that what the grumpy old men were telling you all along, when you would get upset (perhaps rightfully so)
at thier critisisms?

that regardless, that would be mild , with what you would need to be prepared for ?

they wern't aactually trying to toughen you up,
just tell you that taking some flack on some net bulletion board,,
without getting to hurt or angry over it,,
 is pretty easy stuff compared to real life.
*shrugs*


If someone can get deeply under my skin here,,with either advice or critisism -
 truth is a need to look in the mirror and ask why.Thats the guy with the answer.

of course did wear a helmet the fisrt 6 months of posting,
 to keep BB's clue bat from giving me a concussion!  
 

prepare for the crash, not the ride.. LOL




 

[Bruno]

Who do you think will be the next "Crash & Burn" victim?

1.) Turboguy
2.) Peewee
3.) Michaelangelo
4.) Oosik
5.) Bruno

I don't wish anyone bad things, but sometimes I read posts from you guys and it is obvious to me that some of you just don't have a clue.  Clue bats not withstanding, some men are not capable of seeing what's right in front of them if it's got tits or tires.

Our God, JB the married man have speak...

JB, why not write yourself in these list... who know what can be the situation of your marriage tomorrow... Was your actual marriage the first one ? I don't think since you say that your are married around 5 year with a RW and that you have almost adult child...

So, like me, you have already "Crash & Burn"... and our case, i something usual... how much people here have never be married before, how much have never "Crash & Burn" a relationship ?

Being married is a certitude for now but what about the future... Several of the hard boy here who are married with a RW are enough fresh guy, 5 year or lower... The fact that you are married don't allow you to be like a God... During my 5 year of marriage, my tone was never like yours... I simply give my meaning based on my past experience, good or bad one... You feel yourself like the cream of the milk, but you don't have the universal keys to success... If you was in possesion of these key, you will be married younger... Your are a 50+ year old man married 5 year with a RW... Is it really a success to find the good woman in a so advanced age ? This mean that the first 50 year of your life was a continuous "Crash & Burn"... Not really the perfect position for give lesson, so much time for learn the right way, if it is the right way...

The next "Crash & Burn" can be yourself, KenC, Dan... be happy now is not a insurance for tomorrow !

[PeeWee]

Our God, JB the married man have speak...

JB, why not write yourself in these list... who know what can be the situation of your marriage tomorrow... Was your actual marriage the first one ? I don't think since you say that your are married around 5 year with a RW and that you have almost adult child...

So, like me, you have already "Crash & Burn"... and our case, i something usual... how much people here have never be married before, how much have never "Crash & Burn" a relationship ?

Being married is a certitude for now but what about the future... Several of the hard boy here who are married with a RW are enough fresh guy, 5 year or lower... The fact that you are married don't allow you to be like a God... During my 5 year of marriage, my tone was never like yours... I simply give my meaning based on my past experience, good or bad one... You feel yourself like the cream of the milk, but you don't have the universal keys to success... If you was in possesion of these key, you will be married younger... Your are a 50+ year old man married 5 year with a RW... Is it really a success to find the good woman in a so advanced age ? This mean that the first 50 year of your life was a continuous "Crash & Burn"... Not really the perfect position for give lesson, so much time for learn the right way, if it is the right way...

The next "Crash & Burn" can be yourself, KenC, Dan... be happy now is not a insurance for tomorrow !

Kind of true, Bruno. Who is married today has a 50% chance of still being married 5  years from now. No one has a handle on marriage...you have to remember that 50% of the marriage team is comprised of a woman. The forum's best service is for technical advice. The visa process, the travel tips, and so forth. As far as the interpersonal stuff I don't think one guy knows any more about it than the next guy.

I do not think an RW is that much different than an AW. A woman is a woman. You might agrue that there is a cultural difference. My son dates Vietnamese and Chinese women exclusively. There is a cultural difference but it really does not seem to affect the relationship. The worst relationship that he had to date was with an American Indian. What a witch but I would never say that all Indian women are difficult to deal with same I AW, RW, VW, CW...or anyother kind of woman. The all come to the party with a different idea on how that party will play itself out.

Peewee