How Important is Height to Eastern European Women?

[Maverick47]

Maverick  (Mel Gibson or James Garner?)

haha Tom Cruise man! 

[Maverick47]

Is there any man that has never been "rejected" by any woman at any time in his life? Again, the goal is not to please all women, but to find one woman that you will please. Can this be done? Yes. You seem to want to choose one woman and be guaranteed that she will fall madly in love with you. Life just does not work that way. As was said, it is a numbers game, but the game is easier to play in Russia as it is quite often the women who see themselves as competing for men.

I've gotten rejected MANY times in the US and had some success too. So I definitely understand this. I just don't like it and want to minimize it, if possible.
 

Height is more than genetics. Diet plays an important role. The children and grandchildren of immigrants from China to North America will quite often be much taller than their parents and grandparents. All my uncles, for example, were much shorter than their children. They grew up in an era when one orange for Christmas was an exceptional gift so vitamins during the winter months were rarer and they had to do a lot of hard physical labor from a young age which certainly influenced their growth. My father was a bit of an exception as at 6 foot 1 he was quite the "giant" of his generation. However, my older brother was 5 foot 10, I am a hair shorter than 6 feet and my younger brother is 6 foot 2 or 6 foot 3.

I'm inclined to believe that my situation is mostly due to genetics. As I stated previously, my brother is around 6 feet. We grew up in the same house and had the same diet. He just got luckier in that aspect of genetics.

[Faux Pas]

Fair enough.

I'm not looking for perfect looks or perfect anything else. I was advised by a friend of mine in a happy marriage with an American woman that I should make a list of 8 dealbreakers, which I did.

1) Can't already have kids
2) Must want kids
3) Must have value to offer (either a career or a willingness to be a stay-at-home mom and cook and clean)
4) Thin
5) No personality/mental disorder
6) age (in her 20s....not unreasonable since I'm 26)
7) open-minded

My 8th will be positive attitude, but, as many of you said here (and I agree with), I need to work on that in myself first.

Either way, I don't think these are unreasonable requests. Again, except for #8, I can offer all of this to the woman myself at this very moment. I don't think that it's unreasonable to ask the same things from my future partner.

I need a girl that I'm physically attracted to. I think we all feel that way, no? And I've dated some very attractive women here in the US. I've also dated girls that are just cute.

I don't think I'm VERY superficial. It just seems like the vast majority of women ARE very superficial when it comes to dating men based on height. So that's what I was asking about.

I'll give you a pass for youthful exuberance. For 26 you do come across as somewhat reasonable. Actually, that's a list most men would have. Your deal breakers  are reasonable and absolutely we all want someone we are attracted to. My caution to you is, don't pigeon hole yourself and quit thinking this is a shopping spree. There are no free passes with women because they are across the ocean. There are none. You are hung up on your height, most women won't be if you have a personality. You don't have to be perfect, nobody is. Be the man that women want for a partner and work on getting over your neurosis. Meet, learn, romance, enjoy yourself and don't go rushing into a commitment of marriage like your ass is on fire.

And for God's sake, stop thinking that the woman of your dreams is going to look or be like the fantasy in your mind. That's only a fantasy. Think of the other side, the woman of your dreams might be dreaming of a 6 ft man. What would you think of her?

[Noch1]

You said #8, If  I were you I would add #5 to that.
Your asking for someone with no disorders, but you have them.
My advice is, get them sorted out, then look for a Wife.
Until you do, likely have a hard time keeping any women.

[Maverick47]

You said #8, If  I were you I would add #5 to that.
Your asking for someone with no disorders, but you have them.
My advice is, get them sorted out, then look for a Wife.
Until you do, likely have a hard time keeping any women.

Not to nitpick, but I work in the health care field. Height insecurity is definitely not a personality/mental disorder. I mean it's not like I never date women or can't leave my house or anything like that.

I'm thinking more in terms of bipolar disorder, clinical depression, borderline personality disorder, etc. Things that can SERIOUSLY mess up your life. Basically, disorders that you need medication for.

[Maverick47]

I'll give you a pass for youthful exuberance. For 26 you do come across as somewhat reasonable. Actually, that's a list most men would have. Your deal breakers  are reasonable and absolutely we all want someone we are attracted to. My caution to you is, don't pigeon hole yourself and quit thinking this is a shopping spree. There are no free passes with women because they are across the ocean. There are none. You are hung up on your height, most women won't be if you have a personality. You don't have to be perfect, nobody is. Be the man that women want for a partner and work on getting over your neurosis. Meet, learn, romance, enjoy yourself and don't go rushing into a commitment of marriage like your ass is on fire.

And for God's sake, stop thinking that the woman of your dreams is going to look or be like the fantasy in your mind. That's only a fantasy. Think of the other side, the woman of your dreams might be dreaming of a 6 ft man. What would you think of her?

Fair enough.

I'm pretty open to all kinds of women. I'm currently learning Spanish (so that I could check out Latin America), I'm on Asian dating sites, and I plan on doing one of those Ukraine tours next year. On top of that, I'm still dating in the US.

And I'm not just hitting on the hottest girls that I see. The dealbreakers that I listed are WAY more important than looks, imo.

Thanks for the advice!

[Faux Pas]

Fair enough.

I'm pretty open to all kinds of women. I'm currently learning Spanish (so that I could check out Latin America), I'm on Asian dating sites, and I plan on doing one of those Ukraine tours next year. On top of that, I'm still dating in the US.

And I'm not just hitting on the hottest girls that I see. The dealbreakers that I listed are WAY more important than looks, imo.

Thanks for the advice!

One other thing, rejection by any woman isn't a bad thing. If the truth be known, most women you really want to be rejected by but, you don't realize it it until it's too late.

If it's possible, during my single years, I was the king of rejection. It comes with having yourself "out there". Rejection is inevitable. Embrace it and let it be your friend. There is no harm in being rejected by a woman. It could also be said I was the king of success as well. I did very well with local women and even with some of those who at some point rejected me. Rejection is not the end of the world. It is merely a state of the moment.

[Maverick47]

One other thing, rejection by any woman isn't a bad thing. If the truth be known, most women you really want to be rejected by but, you don't realize it it until it's too late.

If it's possible, during my single years, I was the king of rejection. It comes with having yourself "out there". Rejection is inevitable. Embrace it and let it be your friend. There is no harm in being rejected by a woman. It could also be said I was the king of success as well. I did very well with local women and even with some of those who at some point rejected me. Rejection is not the end of the world. It is merely a state of the moment.

Good points, for sure. The friends that I know that are the best with women here get rejected a lot (even if they're tall and good-looking). I guess I just forget this concept sometimes.

Also, I've had a lot of bad experiences, as far as character issues, with girls here in the US (even the ones that are really into me). So that's another big reason why I don't really approach as much anymore. With my demanding job, it feels like a second job to have a dating life here.

Like many on this site state, I meet very few women that hold up to my dealbreakers AND that I'm attracted to that are still single and actually looking for something serious. So that, for sure, is another reason why I'm going abroad lol.

[ghost of moon goddess]

This is very insightful and true. I do feel that I need to be perfect at everything or people (women, especially) won't like me. I generally feel: Why would a woman want to be with me when she could be with someone taller?

Possibly an overbearing mother and an absent, sometimes abusive father? Not sure. But it is true that my brother (who's around 6 feet) also has problems with relationships. So, maybe you're right. Maybe there's something else there that I'm not seeing.

I may be wrong, but I've got the impression that you and your brother were under-loved by your parents
Wonder if they were dissatisfied with their children, because you and your brother were not doing all you could to be excellent in everything? If they were, how often were you and your brother targets of their critical outlook?
Maverick, my suggestion is that you turned into a striver for perfection, hoping to win your parents' approval/support/love.
Please keep in mind, you will be perfect at everything (well, at almost everything) for the woman that will truly love you

[ML]

Please keep in mind, you will be perfect at everything (well, at almost everything) for the woman that will truly love you

And, on the other hand, once you are married, you won't have to think at all about any of your faults.

No need for two people to be thinking about the same things.

[CDW]

Fair enough.

I'm pretty open to all kinds of women. I'm currently learning Spanish (so that I could check out Latin America), I'm on Asian dating sites, and I plan on doing one of those Ukraine tours next year. On top of that, I'm still dating in the US.

And I'm not just hitting on the hottest girls that I see. The dealbreakers that I listed are WAY more important than looks, imo.

Thanks for the advice!

Try to join one of the ML's list of dating sites (about $30 a month, unlimited mail), and see what they say about your height.   I am pretty sure that your height isn't important to these genuine women who are looking for different factor.

[Maverick47]

I may be wrong, but I've got the impression that you and your brother were under-loved by your parents
Wonder if they were dissatisfied with their children, because you and your brother were not doing all you could to be excellent in everything? If they were, how often were you and your brother targets of their critical outlook?
Maverick, my suggestion is that you turned into a striver for perfection, hoping to win your parents' approval/support/love.
Please keep in mind, you will be perfect at everything (well, at almost everything) for the woman that will truly love you

My mother was extremely critical on both of us. I don't think she meant to be. I think that she genuinely wanted the best for us.

My father was very distant and physically abusive at times. It's clear to me now that he was one of those people that should just not have had children.

I've tried going to therapy for these issues, but most therapists seem to just tell me what I want to hear and I really get nothing accomplished. I've had better results and revelations through friends and random people on internet forums (like this one lol).

Thanks for the concern. You seem like a very nice and understanding person. 

[Maverick47]

Try to join one of the ML's list of dating sites (about $30 a month, unlimited mail), and see what they say about your height.   I am pretty sure that your height isn't important to these genuine women who are looking for different factor.

Yes, I've been reading ML's posts. He wrote that I should wait 1-2 months before I'm set to travel before messaging the girls. Unfortunately, due to my military obligation and my career field, it is difficult to take time off and impossible to take more than 2 weeks at a time.

I had an issue with this when I was talking to girls from Asia. I had to keep pushing back the date due to obligations and they thought that I was just BSing (and understandably so).

I am trying though....

[CDW]

Yes, I've been reading ML's posts. He wrote that I should wait 1-2 months before I'm set to travel before messaging the girls. Unfortunately, due to my military obligation and my career field, it is difficult to take time off and impossible to take more than 2 weeks at a time.

I had an issue with this when I was talking to girls from Asia. I had to keep pushing back the date due to obligations and they thought that I was just BSing (and understandably so).

I am trying though....

Actually I wouldn't wait 1-2 before.  Start now, and get to know them and their culture.  When you are ready, then start serious about your trip.  You never know you might meet a woman who is willingly to wait for 3-6 months.   I am not saying that you will go there in a year time!   

If a woman says to you "I want you to come here tomorrow"  you will know that she is a very impatient type of woman.  After 1st meeting, what if she says, she wants you to come 'next week' ???

[BillyB]

I had an issue with this when I was talking to girls from Asia. I had to keep pushing back the date due to obligations and they thought that I was just BSing (and understandably so).

I am trying though....

Trying is not good enough. You don't have a clear plan on what you want to do and where you want to go and that is going to turn the girls off. You've wasted those ladies time writing to them and that lack of responsibility from younger men make us old guys look more appealing.


You ever heard of "If I only knew then what I know now?" If you can take the maturity and knowledge of what you will have 20 years from now and apply it today, you'd catch a lot of women. Hopefully in the future you will acquire enough confidence so that your height issue won't bother you anymore.

[Maverick47]

Trying is not good enough. You don't have a clear plan on what you want to do and where you want to go and that is going to turn the girls off. You've wasted those ladies time writing to them and that lack of responsibility from younger men make us old guys look more appealing.

Well, "trying" is all I can promise right now. I actually do have a clear plan, but I'm in the military right now, in a career field where I can't take a lot of time off at once (2 weeks max...but even that is very hard to get). When I was talking to the last girl, I put in for leave, got it, then had it cancelled on me by my commander.

My contract ends in about a year and a half. I am trying to get stationed overseas. If I can't get that, then I will likely leave.

You ever heard of "If I only knew then what I know now?" If you can take the maturity and knowledge of what you will have 20 years from now and apply it today, you'd catch a lot of women. Hopefully in the future you will acquire enough confidence so that your height issue won't bother you anymore.

Good point. It didn't bother me much in my early 20s. Only hit me in the past few years for some reason. I am working to get over it though, for sure.

[BillyB]

I actually do have a clear plan, but I'm in the military right now, in a career field where I can't take a lot of time off at once (2 weeks max...but even that is very hard to get). When I was talking to the last girl, I put in for leave, got it, then had it cancelled on me by my commander.

It's hard to have a clear plan when your commander has a say in what you can and can't do. Now I understand better why you're having a hard time picking up local women or at least finding a quality one. I was in the Army living in a large bases with small towns outside of them which translates to few women available for the men. Many of the ladies had attitudes, even the ugly ones. They were in demand and it's easy to see how they get an attitude when horny guys are always giving them attention or bothering them.

My contract ends in about a year and a half. I am trying to get stationed overseas. If I can't get that, then I will likely leave.

Times have changed. There was a time in the Army, and probably other branches that it was mandatory to do an overseas tour. In the early 90's, I was one of the first not to do an overseas tour due to Clinton military cut backs and because I had jump wings. Not enough people wanted to jump out of airplanes. They sent me to Ft. Bragg.

[Maverick47]

It's hard to have a clear plan when your commander has a say in what you can and can't do. Now I understand better why you're having a hard time picking up local women or at least finding a quality one. I was in the Army living in a large bases with small towns outside of them which translates to few women available for the men. Many of the ladies had attitudes, even the ugly ones. They were in demand and it's easy to see how they get an attitude when horny guys are always giving them attention or bothering them.

Yes, I'm in the Air Force. I live in a town with very few available women. I live about an hour from a college town. These girls are hot and very fun to hookup with (and I've indulged in that quite about over the past year), but they are not interested in something long term. As I get more settled in my career, I am.

Also, what's even worse is that I'm an officer. There are plenty of attractive enlisted girls around base, but they are off-limits to me.

After thinking about your comments a bit, I do realize that my height insecurity has A LOT to do with the fact that I live alone and am pretty isolated over here (despite having a lot of friends...most of these friends are either married or party friends) far away from any family. I have a lot of time to think about things, which can be a bad thing. I never really worried about my height too much until recently.

Times have changed. There was a time in the Army, and probably other branches that it was mandatory to do an overseas tour. In the early 90's, I was one of the first not to do an overseas tour due to Clinton military cut backs and because I had jump wings. Not enough people wanted to jump out of airplanes. They sent me to Ft. Bragg.

Yeah, honestly, I don't even know if I would stay in if they sent me overseas. My current supervisor is a really nasty person. Obviously, I can't quit this job because it's the military. But I've learned that you are really risking a lot in the military. You can have one person that's just nasty or out to get you and than can ruin your entire life. Not worth it.

Went off on a bit of a tangent there lol. Thanks for the feedback!

[BillyB]

There are plenty of attractive enlisted girls around base, but they are off-limits to me.

I don't know if you're into homo play but the military is more accepting of that these days. Wait! Forget about it. Enlisted men are off limits to officers too!

I'm an officer.

That is a big plus. Being an officer means you have intelligence and leadership skills. A woman would respect you more because of the position you hold. Also many RW like a clean cut and clean shaved man. Don't forget to cut the bush downstairs too.

My current supervisor is a really nasty person.

Well...., not all officers have leadership skills. Every 3-4 years or less you should be moving around in the military so hopefully you'll get a new boss soon.


As I mentioned earlier, write a bunch a women and you'll find some will respond favorably to you, even more now because they'll know you're an officer. If you and a lady start having feelings towards each other, explain her the unpredictability of the military which has a say in when you can and can't get time off to visit her. She will decide for herself if she can wait longer. When it's time to renew your contract with the Air Force, you know you can make some demands? Request a month off and go visit a lady(s).

[Slumba]

One problem you may also have with communicating with overseas girls, is a scam currently going around that targets women, where the man says he is in the US military and stationed somewhere... then he asks for money under some pretext, etc. - in this situation the money is actually going to Nigeria.

The fix for that, is a greater number of photos of you doing typical tasks, in and out of uniform, with a dog, etc. whatever.  Maybe a picture of you standing in front of the "Welcome to BF City, Iowa" or whatever also.

Women often notice posture and confident bearing as much as height, so you have that going for you.

[Gator]

Maverick - thanks for serving!

[Maverick47]

I don't know if you're into homo play but the military is more accepting of that these days.

I am if you are.

Hahahahaha!

That is a big plus. Being an officer means you have intelligence and leadership skills. A woman would respect you more because of the position you hold. Also many RW like a clean cut and clean shaved man. Don't forget to cut the bush downstairs too.

Yeah, when I talked to Filipinas online, they seemed impressed with that. This was surprising to me as it's pretty much neutral here in the US (at best). It's definitely not something I brag about lol.

Well...., not all officers have leadership skills. Every 3-4 years or less you should be moving around in the military so hopefully you'll get a new boss soon.


As I mentioned earlier, write a bunch a women and you'll find some will respond favorably to you, even more now because they'll know you're an officer. If you and a lady start having feelings towards each other, explain her the unpredictability of the military which has a say in when you can and can't get time off to visit her. She will decide for herself if she can wait longer. When it's time to renew your contract with the Air Force, you know you can make some demands? Request a month off and go visit a lady(s).

Well, as I said, my career field is one of the few where I'm virtually guaranteed a fairly high income in the civilian world (unless I do something very stupid). I'm thinking it might just be better to separate and do my own thing, if not to get away from the military politics (I'm sure you know what I mean).

[Maverick47]

One problem you may also have with communicating with overseas girls, is a scam currently going around that targets women, where the man says he is in the US military and stationed somewhere... then he asks for money under some pretext, etc. - in this situation the money is actually going to Nigeria.

The fix for that, is a greater number of photos of you doing typical tasks, in and out of uniform, with a dog, etc. whatever.  Maybe a picture of you standing in front of the "Welcome to BF City, Iowa" or whatever also.

Women often notice posture and confident bearing as much as height, so you have that going for you.

Well, I'm currently stationed in the US. I don't think that will be a hard sell lol.

Yeah, I just won't post pics where I'm standing around a lot of tall people.

[Maverick47]

Maverick - thanks for serving!

No prob man! Thanks for the shout out!