Younger woman seeking older man

[Goombah]

Can any of the RW members of this board help explain why some  mid-20's ladies only seek men 20+ years older?

Of course, there is financial stability, but what else?

Yes, I am conversing with such a lady - very beautiful, she could have her pick of younger men, but is not interested in them.  I have only exchanged 3 letters in the past 3 days, and feel its inappropriate at this time to ask her directly, but will tell you she has answered many other specific questions - I am not getting form letters from her.

Kevin C.

[Elen]

There is nothing inappropriate in asking directly such things. Let's ask just now otherwise this question will torment you up to the end of your life:D

 

As for me I have no idea what are this particular girl looking for.

In general I always thought such girls wanted to find some man who could  take a full responsibility about all their needs and wishes:?.

They call such men "PAPIK" (derivation from russian word for "father")


A question for you; WHY do you deal with such young girl?

[Bruno]

Whooowwww ... Good luck Kevin ( PAPIK  )... not about your young lady but for the reply to Elena ... I have wish russian woman on these forum but these is very strong :X ( in character )... These forum begin really interesting :cool: ... So difficult personal question :?

[Goombah]

Thats simple:  a strong desire to father more children.  My ideal age is 28-30, although my search parameters are 23-35.

Kevin

[Elen]

Yes I't difficult to formulate (in the first place for yourself) what exactly you do want from young girl and what you do expect .

[Elen]

Well:? Do you realise that 23 years girl is f-a-a-ar from 35 years old woman in ALL meanings?

( not business of mine, of course, but I wonder to meself what did you guys think about in your younger ages:?? Why did that "strong desire" of yours sleep for such long time. The questions are rethorical. )

[Goombah]

Oh yeah, I understand the difference, and that understanding grows by the day as I exchange letters with a variety of ladies, some friends, some hopefulls.  I have a 20 yo friend there that is madly in love with a gentlemen - it is virtually amusing to see her behavior - and honestly, somewhat refreshing.

What did I do in my younger days?  I married a 22 yo when I was 22 and spent the next 23 years married to her.

The big question is not absolute age in my mind, but finding someone of the right maturity to be a match for the rest of my life.  That slants the field toward older ladies, but I do not think it entirely excludes younger ones.

[Elen]

I married a 22 yo when I was 22 and spent the next 23 years married to her.

Ok then you do know how your now 23 y.o. "hypothetical" wife will feel herself in the future after 7-10-20 yeas in marriage   (Just one problem - you will be in yours pensions ages then)

BTW do you inform your girls about your strong desire for more kids.? (how many do you want. Hope not 4)  I ask because russians families have 1-2 children And that does not depend strongly only at money family has. It's just "mentalitet":D

Back to 23 y. o girl. In Russia it's ages when students finish their high edication and start to look for job. May be it's a case of your girl who is looking for professional careeer at the West and doesn't dream at all about kids. American "papik" would be very useful for that.

[Goombah]

Actually, I expect I will be working for at least another 15 years, perhaps 20, in order to regain the financial stance I had prior to getting divorced.  Had I remained married, it would have been likely I would have retired at 55, that is now VERY unlikely.

My introduction letter mentions that I want to have more children - I am really only interested in ladies that share that desire, and specifies one or two.  I confirm that with the ladies in the first half-dozen letters, often within the first 2 or 3.  Normally my online profiles mention this as well.

A exchange with a 24 yo, 25 in April, caused me to post this question. She has clearly indicated the desire to have children, and via her profile, clearing indicated a desire for an older man.  She has a sister already living in the USA (married, presumingly to an AM).

So, is there any honor in being a Papik?  I believe I could offer her a life that in many ways would be better than one a man her own age would offer, and I'm not just talking about financial.  Of course, it would be different as well, but perhaps foolishly I think it is a choice she should be allowed to make.

I have asked her directly, and expect an answer tomorrow.

Kevin

[Elen]

Good luck for you . And what is that you worry about then?

[Goombah]

Her motivation and intentions being honorable - what every man worries about.

If being a Papik is culturally acceptable, it would ease my mind by why she may be searching for one. I simply seek understanding of the cultural background and perhaps differences from what I am accustomed to.

[Elen]

Her motivation and intentions being honorable - what every man worries about.

 

Who may know?:? There is no garanties in such business.

Papik is "culturally acceptable" in the same way as "women on support" is. The first one is a target for jokes the second one - for scornful sniffs

Well if she is 25 ( enough for mutture woman) then thing are not such bad for you cos she (may be) already had time to understand there was no one "right" man for her here. And that is the only one reasone she is looking for him abroad.

I just curiouse why does she know nothing at English? Did she study German in school? And what is her occupation. If nothing serious then may be she will accept a role of home wife you see for her.

 

[Goombah]

She seems to write English very well.  I will call her in the next few days, if I like her answers, and we shall see how well she speaks English.

She is listed as being University educated, and is a dance teacher at National University.  This has allowed her some freedom to travel in Eastern and Western Europe as her students compete abroad.

Email me as goombah at seaplace.org if you want more details, I prefer to not post everything about her on a public forum.

Kevin

[Turboguy]

Kevin,  Since your origional question was why do they want older men I will tell you what they have told me. 

First younger men are not settled.  They want to go out and drink and party and sometimes be unfaithful.    An older man has sown his wild oats and will be appreciative enough of a young wife that they don't have to worry about him being faithful.

Older men tend to dote on their young wives more.  Some gals like that feeling of being treated special.   Actually you will find a lot of the gals who like older men are only children or oldest children and often had a father that had kids later in life. 

Older men are usually more established and life is less of a struggle.   I guess they don't realize what a divorce can do to a guy.  It is likely a little different in the FSU than in the USA.

I think it is bascially that they see an older man as wiser, more mature, more settled, likely to be more devoted and as someone who will make the effort to make a good life with them.

I have said in other posts that not everyone is the same at any age.   All I have seen is your photo but looking at the photo if you told someone you were 28 they would never question it.  I don't think someone in the age range you are looking at would feel like they were out with their father if they were with you. 
  

[Goombah]

I think the grey would give away the 28 claim, but thanks...

[Elen]

She is listed as being University educated, and is a dance teacher at National University. This has allowed her some freedom to travel in Eastern and Western Europe as her students compete abroad.

 To my sceptical mind that is not a good "start" for home wife:?

[Goombah]

I wondered about that as well, and asked her what she wanted to do when she comes here - specifically asking how she see her day passing when I am at work.

Basically, she wants to make a cozy house, and garden, until children come.  Of course, she also wants to travel some with me, which is fine, just not a day-to-day thing.

Kevin - very confused by this one.

[Turboguy]

Most Russians seem to like to travel.   I am sure having her along on some of your travels would be fun.  Sometimes people need some space though and I agree too much of a good thing could be a recepe for disaster.

In my case I hope my gal can travel with me on all my trips and hopefully I can get my space as I have my nose to the grindstone every day.

[Elen]

Basically, she wants to make a cozy house, and garden, until children come. Of course, she also wants to travel some with me, which is fine, just not a day-to-day thing

 

I have some doubts she knows herself what she wants. I mean she may sinsery think the same way but a profession of danse teacher and more over of a group that compete abroad assumes that persone does have a lot of energy and is very socialiated one.

So may be you sould start to think about other opportunities (exept house keeper)  for her to finds aplication of the talents.  (some partly job I mean) Just to keep her mind busy and "free" of "stupid things":D

[Goombah]

Thanks Elen.

I always hope my future bride and I can find her employment, whomever she ends up being.  I believe having a job, even a part time one, will provide good social opportunties and provide a small sense of freedom.

Kevin