She wants to meet in another country

[TagUrIt898]

I'm sure there are varied opinions about the question I'm about to ask.  Just wanted to know what everyone's experiences have been with meeting you FSW in another country other than her home.

Little bit of history, I met this woman on Fdating.com  We talked in November 2013 and up until about January 2013.  We fell out of touch, but recently reconnected about two weeks ago.  We have emailed back and forth more than a lot.  We have Skyped everyday for the last week and we are talking about coordinating a visit.  She lives in Kaliningrad and say that there is not that much to see there.  She would like to meet in Spain or another country (Not dead set on meeting there)  Just wanted to get feedback on who has met someone elsewhere and what was the result.  I'd like the think I'm pretty sharp and I and not going to just pay for a vacation just because.  I'm 41 and she's 36 btw.

Be kind with the responses :-)

[Gator]

Why did you fall out of touch?  Who contacted whom first when renewing?


If you like this woman, start researching holidays in Spain or some other place.  I suggest that you continue to Skype and to ask direct questions.  Ask those questions that customarily are reserved for a second or third date.  Besides compatibility questions, ask how many international trips has she made, does she trust you enough to share a room, etc.

Red Flag -  she wants to make travel arrangements and have you send money to buy tickets, etc. 

[TagUrIt898]

Hya Gator, I don't exactly recall, but I think we both mutually stopped emailing.  I actually asked her the same question and she said I never got back to her.  She initiated contact with me.  She said she had been wanting to write to me for awhile, but didn't because she never writes first.  I have actually sent an email asking more direct questions.  I told her because we're in different countries we are not afforded the luxuries of traditional "getting to know you" dating.  She has not traveled internationally before and I wouldn't begin to think about planning this trip unless we shared a room.  I WOULD NEVER in a million years send money to ANYONE to make travel plans. 

I appreciate the response and I'll keep you all posted of what happens.

Tag

[BillyB]

She would like to meet in Spain or another country.

There are women on the internet who are communicating with multiple men and suggesting to each one of them to meet in France, Spain, England, wherever.


I'm not saying the lady you're communicating with is like that but here's what I do say. If a woman really likes me, she'd meet me anywhere and if I offer to meet her in her city, she won't offend me by refusing my suggestion.


Talk to the lady some more. Learn more about her life goals and beliefs. If they match yours, offer to visit her in her city. If she doesn't accept, or thinks you'd look better to her in Spain, she's not into as much as you are into her.

[CDW]

I'm sure there are varied opinions about the question I'm about to ask.  Just wanted to know what everyone's experiences have been with meeting you FSW in another country other than her home.

Little bit of history, I met this woman on Fdating.com  We talked in November 2013 and up until about January 2013.  We fell out of touch, but recently reconnected about two weeks ago.  We have emailed back and forth more than a lot.  We have Skyped everyday for the last week and we are talking about coordinating a visit.  She lives in Kaliningrad and say that there is not that much to see there.  She would like to meet in Spain or another country (Not dead set on meeting there)  Just wanted to get feedback on who has met someone elsewhere and what was the result.  I'd like the think I'm pretty sharp and I and not going to just pay for a vacation just because.  I'm 41 and she's 36 btw.

Be kind with the responses :-)

The initial meeting should always be in ladies' native country unless you are looking for 1) holiday romance - nothing much, or 2) getting laid

[TheTraveler]

i'd consider this a red flag.

imo, the first meeting should always be in her home town.

remember the mission: you are there to primarily see her... not the tourist sights.

if she balks, she may just be more interested in a beach vacation.  or maybe she has a husband/boyfriend in Kaliningrad?

[LiveFromUkraine]

i'd consider this a red flag.

imo, the first meeting should always be in her home town.

remember the mission: you are there to primarily see her... not the tourist sights.

if she balks, she may just be more interested in a beach vacation.  or maybe she has a husband/boyfriend in Kaliningrad?

Not only that, but I would find it hellish to be on vacation with someone I found I didn't like.  At least in her home town you can leave if things don't work out.  On vacation, you would be trapped in a way.  At least I would feel obligated to making sure she was safe and got home safe.

[TheTraveler]

excellent points, lfu!

agree 100%.

[Maxx2]

Many women from Ukraine are looking to meet their men outside their country because of the political turmoil there. Of course in the OP post she's not from Ukraine.

[TagUrIt898]

All very valid points and I appreciate the feedback.  I will suggest meeting in her home as opposed to on vacation.  If she is not okay with that, then I have answered my own question.

Another thought I had, everything is generally great on a vacation.  However it's not necessarily a true representation of real life.  How many reality show couples have fell in love while away from the daily stresses of real life?  When they are back to real life they realize they have nothing in common or not as "in love" as they thought they were.  The show and unrealistic environment was the propelling factor in their relationship.

[LiveFromUkraine]

All very valid points and I appreciate the feedback.  I will suggest meeting in her home as opposed to on vacation.  If she is not okay with that, then I have answered my own question.

Another thought I had, everything is generally great on a vacation.  However it's not necessarily a true representation of real life.  How many reality show couples have fell in love while away from the daily stresses of real life?  When they are back to real life they realize they have nothing in common or not as "in love" as they thought they were.  The show and unrealistic environment was the propelling factor in their relationship.

Even you visiting her, in her hometown, will put you more into a vacation mode.  Being in a new place and experiencing new things will be exciting.  It takes time to get over that honeymoon stage so even if meeting in her home town you will need to remember that.


It's no different than any other relationship.  It takes time to learn if both are compatible.

[Daveman]

Even you visiting her, in her hometown, will put you more into a vacation mode.  Being in a new place and experiencing new things will be exciting.  It takes time to get over that honeymoon stage so even if meeting in her home town you will need to remember that.


It's no different than any other relationship.  It takes time to learn if both are compatible.

Absofriggin'lutely.

Which is why the only decision which should be made on the first visit is whether there is enough interest/chemistry/desire for a second.

Second, third, extended, etc, visits are much more significant for exposing the nature of things.

[stilllooking]

There might be distance between you, but, would you really consider going on holiday and sharing a room with someone you have never met in person?

How would you react if your sister / a female friend told you she met someone online and she is going to Spain for a few days / a week with him and sharing a room with him? Would you tell her it is a good idea or that she is making a huge mistake?

[Gator]

The best place for a first meeting is the woman's hometown.  That way, if all goes well you can meet her family and friends, something very important in developing a relationship.   


I have plenty of time so on three occasions I met FSUW in a vacation spot for our first meeting.  The women lived in remote cities within Russia, requiring much travel (it took one woman 48 hours of travel to meet me in Spain).  There was not much to do in their hometowns other than walk and talk, and I would not have spent more than 3 days there, yet would still require setting aside a week for traveling.  In each case, we had spoken much and I felt very comfortable with doing it (I was wrong with my assessment of one woman).  I did not mind spending the extra money. 

Two of the three trips were marvelous.  I rented a car and we went exploring.  The women had high energy - there never was a boring moment.  The women learned to read a map, helped with questions, and invested in the choices (such as restaurants).  The third trip was a one week meeting in the Russian Riviera (Turkey), and it was the vacation from hell.  Our bed was two twins pushed together with king sheets.  On the third night I separated our beds, and would have got my own room if the hotel was not completely booked.   

 

[BC]

I met my wife in a third country... ok... we were both already there and did not plan meeting to begin with... but..

Why not?  I think the line of thought 'her city' only takes a bit of fun out of it, at least for her...

Girls want to have fun.. that's why they go out in the evenings and meet some guy on neutral territory.. they don't just meet a guy on the internet and say 'come over to my place'... well usually.

I think many forget that it all starts with dating and not checking out his or her parents, friends etc.

As long as she doesn't ask for cash for the flight or visa etc (ticket ok as long as she cannot cash it in), go for it.

Cutting to the chase may not be the best approach... my goodness it's a date folks!  Forget talking about marriage until at least the second date.. hahaha

[jone]

I met my wife in a third country... ok... we were both already there and did not plan meeting to begin with... but..

Why not?  I think the line of thought 'her city' only takes a bit of fun out of it, at least for her...

Girls want to have fun.. that's why they go out in the evenings and meet some guy on neutral territory.. they don't just meet a guy on the internet and say 'come over to my place'... well usually.

I think many forget that it all starts with dating and not checking out his or her parents, friends etc.

As long as she doesn't ask for cash for the flight or visa etc (ticket ok as long as she cannot cash it in), go for it.

Cutting to the chase may not be the best approach... my goodness it's a date folks!  Forget talking about marriage until at least the second date.. hahaha

What BC?  You weren't a OWW?

[BC]

What BC?  You weren't a OWW?

hehe not quite..  we met, we met again, then I proposed and visited her home town, then met again at her home and got married.

[Maxx2]

I met my wife in a third country... ok... we were both already there and did not plan meeting to begin with... but..

Why not?  I think the line of thought 'her city' only takes a bit of fun out of it, at least for her...

Girls want to have fun.. that's why they go out in the evenings and meet some guy on neutral territory.. they don't just meet a guy on the internet and say 'come over to my place'... well usually.

I think many forget that it all starts with dating and not checking out his or her parents, friends etc.

As long as she doesn't ask for cash for the flight or visa etc (ticket ok as long as she cannot cash it in), go for it.

Cutting to the chase may not be the best approach... my goodness it's a date folks!  Forget talking about marriage until at least the second date.. hahaha

Good advice. Best not to get real serious on the first date and submit letters of reference and financial statements .

[BC]

Good advice. Best not to get real serious on the first date and submit letters of reference and financial statements .

Maxx.. that of course is wrong approach... I told my wife at that time I could offer her nothing more than a warm home and good food on the table..

[Maxx2]

Maxx.. that of course is wrong approach... I told my wife at that time I could offer her nothing more than a warm home and good food on the table..

It goes along with being a good husband and that is to be able to support and provide. If I couldn't do what you say BC I wouldn't even try. Fur coats, diamond necklasses and expensive vacations at 5 star resorts is going over the top IMO. That's not support. Even if one could afford it it would't be a good idea to start a relationship with these.

[CDW]

She lives in Kaliningrad and say that there is not that much to see there.  She would like to meet in Spain or another country

Earlier last week, I had a conversation with a young lady from Bogota, Colombia via LatinAmericanCupid.com.    She claimed that she works in a travel agency, and can easily get visa.  After few days of knowing her, she would like to come to England very soon.   I told her that I would prefer to visit her in her own country first.   She then agreed!

Within the next day, she started to ignore my messages.  Later, she told me that she had been very busy with her work and her studying.

So, now you know if she were every serious with me!!!

[Donhollio]

  If you feel its genuine why not?  I did this almost 5 years ago.  I had this little hottie in Uzbekistan how drove me wild with her profile pic. So I wrote to her, and she wrote back. Within a week we were talking on the phone, and soon I was planning a trip to go meet her in her city. Shortly after she disappeared, and all was lost for months until she reappeared in my inbox. Soon we were getting back to talking, however I had already booked a trip to Russia, but I wanted to meet her more than anyone else.
 So I sent her $700 to buy some flight tickets and meet me in Rostov. She took my money... and showed up. We spent a week together without her darting off back home at night, and without interference from family and friends, it helped immensely in my opinion.  Because we both were in a strange land (more for me) we had to work through things together, she couldn't just say goodbye and tram it on home.
  My next trip was to her city. Now in 2014 she is living with me in Canada.
 
  You can think about what the worst will happen if you meet her in another country. She may screw your brains out nightly. By day you'll have a girl on your arms walking around taking in the sights. Or she turns out to be a axe murderer and chops you into pieces while your tied to the bed in some crazy bondage sex.
 Life is full of possibilities, if you sit at home and ponder the decision to stay or go, you'll never know what may come of it.
 
 
 

[Maxx2]

  If you feel its genuine why not?  I did this almost 5 years ago.  I had this little hottie in Uzbekistan how drove me wild with her profile pic. So I wrote to her, and she wrote back. Within a week we were talking on the phone, and soon I was planning a trip to go meet her in her city. Shortly after she disappeared, and all was lost for months until she reappeared in my inbox. Soon we were getting back to talking, however I had already booked a trip to Russia, but I wanted to meet her more than anyone else.
 So I sent her $700 to buy some flight tickets and meet me in Rostov. She took my money... and showed up. We spent a week together without her darting off back home at night, and without interference from family and friends, it helped immensely in my opinion.  Because we both were in a strange land (more for me) we had to work through things together, she couldn't just say goodbye and tram it on home.
  My next trip was to her city. Now in 2014 she is living with me in Canada.
 
  You can think about what the worst will happen if you meet her in another country. She may screw your brains out nightly. By day you'll have a girl on your arms walking around taking in the sights. Or she turns out to be a axe murderer and chops you into pieces while your tied to the bed in some crazy bondage sex.
 Life is full of possibilities, if you sit at home and ponder the decision to stay or go, you'll never know what may come of it.

Hey Don! I haven't seen a post from you in ages of course I'm not around here much myself. Glad to hear you have your woman of your dreams by your side. So what does Uzbekistani sound like?

[BillyB]

Soon we were getting back to talking, however I had already booked a trip to Russia, but I wanted to meet her more than anyone else.
 So I sent her $700 to buy some flight tickets and meet me in Rostov. She took my money... and showed up.

Hey Don, long time no see. Your situation is much less riskier than TagUrIt898's. You invited the lady to Russia. She never asked you to buy her a ticket before your invitation.


For every guy who meets a sincere RW in a neutral country, there are 10 guys that got used for a free vacation.


What kind of woman would ask a stranger to buy her a ticket to another country? Most likely the guy would not only pay for her ticket but also a separate hotel room. It's okay for the woman to ask for a free vacation from a stranger but she'll tell him it's not okay if they sleep in the same room.....since he's a stranger.


Earlier in another thread it was calculated that for each million dollars spent in this industry, there's only one marriage to show for it. There are smarter ways to get things done.

[Donhollio]

Hey Don! I haven't seen a post from you in ages of course I'm not around here much myself. Glad to hear you have your woman of your dreams by your side. So what does Uzbekistani sound like?

  Thanks Maxx! I don't come here too often myself, but I do lurk a few times a month to see what's going on.  My little Human Heater is a fantastic girl, she was worth breaking the rules for!  I'm not the best man for a relationship, but I try to make it right, and as such, the chase was the easy part, its the kill that's difficult.             
 
 
 
 

Hey Don, long time no see. Your situation is much less riskier than TagUrIt898's. You invited the lady to Russia. She never asked you to buy her a ticket before your invitation.

 Hi Billy, hope things are going well for you.  I read over Tag's posts and she only suggested they go to another country, she didn't ask him to pay for a ticket. Correct me if I'm wrong please.  Unless the girl bolts from the airport upon arrival I would think she has more to be concerned about than him.
 I know one UA girl who went to Turkey, got locked in the house while he was at work. Another had her passport taken away, details were a bit fuzzy, but she got it back and made it home to UA thankfully, and dated me. I was so calm and non threating sexually, that I'm sure she was quite relieved.