Back after a long absence and a lot of changes!

[deccie]

Well, after a protracted absence on RWD I'm back. And posting from Russia...

There have been so many changes in my life that it's hard to keep track of it all.

I left the Middle East in July 2010 and was back in Australia a whole 3 months.  During that time my then girlfriend went to the UK to do english lessons paid for by her mother and almost managed to get herself thrown out of her school after having problems with several host families.

Given that I wasn't working at the time I decided I really couldn't afford a Russian trip  and didn't go and see her. This had implications I didn't see at the time - more on that later.

Anyway, I chatted to the school principal when her problems arose and we came to an agreement K would leave the school early and return to Russia  (at my expense I might add!). In return they would "graduate" her early.

K then managed to get it in her head I was no longer interested in her and started chatting and then dating an English guy.
Long story short she married him and moved to the UK but their marriage was a complete disaster and has already failed AFAIK.

By this time I had already started working on a new international project based in Canada but could not take an official vacation until I had completed my first year - so that kept me out of Russia for a bit longer.

I later returned to Russia to try for a reconciliation with K - and met with her mother whilst K was still in the UK. The meeting went well and it was looking like we would get back together again... BUT... a Russian lady had been talking to me via Elena's from Siberia.

To be honest I did not give her the attention she deserved but she hung in there and kept writing to me.  Conscious that my reconcilliation with K was by no means certain I arranged to fly her and her daughter to St Petersburg for our first meeting and put them up in their own apartment so if things did not go well we could go our ways separately and amicably without issue.

Well, to summarise the meeting blew me away and changed my thinking completely. "A" was very calm, considerate and kind.  She seemed very bright and had a lovely daughter she was bringing up alone . Afterwards I needed to do some serious soul searching... and decided that I should drop K even though I felt like I still loved her because we seemed to be going in different directions and wanted different things which added to our conflict.

After several more meetings "A" and I got married on June 14th last year. The process to get married itself was problematic because despite paying for it, the Australian government managed to forget to put an Apostille on my CNI!  Gah!

I left my project and Canada  in September of last year and A and I are now together, in Russia. I still need to come and go as my residence is not yet completed but we manage and around December this year we are expecting a new arrival to the family.

My marriage with A is so much different to my relationship with K. There is no anger, no aggression and I am continually amazed at how similar our thinking really is. Married life is great...  A is just a great woman and I'm just so happy to be with her.

Finances are currently stressed as I've not worked in a year now but we hope to get our own business off the ground within the next 2 months. All paperwork and registration for that is now complete. I'm just waiting to get some investment money out to kick things off. Geez banks are slow giving you your money back! I also have some future business ideas as well to put in place down the track. And for now at least I see Russia as a big opportunity for us.

But my life certainly has changed completely in the space of a year and a half!

[Faux Pas]

Welcome back deccie!

Congrats on the marriage!

 

[Larry1]

Congratulations on your marriage and also the coming new arrival to your family.

"A" was very calm, considerate and kind... 

My marriage with A is so much different to my relationship with K. There is no anger, no aggression

Best to avoid the angry ones.

[deccie]

Congratulations on your marriage and also the coming new arrival to your family.

Best to avoid the angry ones.

I wouldn't describe K so much as angry per se but she had huge mood swings and according to others who have met her most likely has some form of bi-polar disorder. Her unpredictability made life pretty unpleasant at times. But, what kept me there for so long was we had some very good times too.  I have to admit life with my now wife has much more calm and stability to it even though life around us has been very, very turbulent.

The key difference is we just get on.

My wife has remarked many times already that she feels like she has known me all her life already - it just took us a heck of a long time to actually get around to meeting!

I also want to throw out a big thank you to I/O on this forum as he gave me some advice early on that has, so far at least, been spot on.  Also to Phil who ran flowersbynina. Phil met and delivered to "K" many times and knows all her many issues  and was one of many to tell me to run away as fast as I could... Took me a few years but eventually..... :-)

Actually, one of the other delivery companies in St Pete's refuse to deliver to K's house... and the owner tells me that it is the only time this has ever happened to him that the people he gets to do the actual work refuse to go a particular house because of one person!

[deccie]

Welcome back deccie!

Congrats on the marriage!

 

thank you!

[southernX]

deccie

congratulations to you and your wife A

it is very hard to make that type of choice between two women , especially when one of them ha sbeen a part of your life so long ,

i did something similar many years ago , it has been the best decision i ever made !!

hope you keep posting again ,
best wishes SX

[deccie]

deccie

congratulations to you and your wife A

it is very hard to make that type of choice between two women , especially when one of them ha sbeen a part of your life so long ,

i did something similar many years ago , it has been the best decision i ever made !!

hope you keep posting again ,
best wishes SX

Thanks for the welcome!

[ML]

Good story.

I hope the best for you and your family.

[Gator]

deccie,

Congratulations for your marriage.  "A" sounds like a wonderful woman - good Siberian stock.  And good luck with your business ventures.  The first year in a new business is usually very difficult, yet it seems you are keeping your chin up. 

[Maxx2]

Congratulations! 

[BillyB]

I wouldn't describe K so much as angry per se but she had huge mood swings and according to others who have met her most likely has some form of bi-polar disorder. Her unpredictability made life pretty unpleasant at times. But, what kept me there for so long was we had some very good times too.

Good times is not a reason to hang around a person that brings you bad times. Men and women have subjected themselves to this kind of punishment and made excuses for it. If you stayed with that women too long, you may have never found your wonderful wife. I hope the guys and gals involved with questionable people take your example and look for better. Grats on your marriage. Marriage is worth it...only if you find the right person.

[deccie]

Well, it's been again a long time between posts and again much has changed. Some for the better - some not.
Married life continues to be bliss. I simply could not have married a better, kinder, more loving person. 

Our Daughter, Alexandra arrived on the 24th of December and mother and baby are both doing fine though our lives are being re-ordered right now.

That daughter arrived well was a huge stress relief as Anna miscarried the first pregnancy. This one went without a hitch and Anna continued to work well into the final weeks (with guidelines as to what she could and could not do).

We had opened a small business here and this is where the bad starts... We had continual staff problems and people not following instructions.

Basically, if Anna worked, we made money. If she didn't we did not.

The shopping centre where we were based could not give us an internet connection and mobile internet was so unreliable as to be useless so we could not install a security camera. This was a major issue that led to the final killer.

Once Anna went into hospital one staff member then decided to steal all our stock and clear out so we spent the New Year period lodging paperwork with the local police.... That is still ongoing but I do not expect to get much, if anything back. She even took the loose change kopecks and the instant coffee!

The last year has been very eventful. Many good things have come our way but we are still plodding along..
We hope in the next year to have an apartment of our own. It won't be the full size our family will need soon but it will be a start and if we can get the business to grow all will be well.

[Chicagoguy]

Wow !   Hope everything ends up well. You sound like a survivor.

[BillyB]

Glad to hear marriage is still bliss after losing your business. Money troubles are a big factor when marriages go south.

[deccie]

Glad to hear marriage is still bliss after losing your business. Money troubles are a big factor when marriages go south.

Very true Billy and I'm conscious of it. But we try very hard to communicate when there are issues we need to discuss.

We were aware of the risk of this before hand and we had planned someone else to look after things but unfortunately they became unavailable due to unexpected commitments..

Business is not completely lost. But we need to re-stock again and rebuild. We may also change locations. Current shop is a long way from home. I want the new place to have an office area and space for a crib so we can both go to work each day together and take turns looking after the baby. With both of us there keeping an eye on the staff should be easier. This time we will also put in a POS system. Something we did not have before.

[Hybrid]

That sounds like the last few years I just had, minus the multiple women bit. I thought my life was complicated ha ha.

Well done, it's all about finding the right women. My wife knows a few guys/girls who rushed into things and their marriages have already failed too.