Failed relationship

[Pkeel1]

Hi all,

I have not been here much lately and thought I would fill all in on my situation.  My lady and I were working on completing the K-1 Visa when things went south in Ukraine.  My lady lives in Russia, just over the border from Ukraine, but her mother and brother live in Eastern Ukraine.

She decided that with the Fascists in power in Ukraine (Her words not mine) that she needed to stay in Russia in case her family needed to escape from Ukraine.  So our relationship ended. 

I went back online and was talking to another lady from Kiev and she was very interested, very open and we had a good rapport on Skype, however when she told her daughter what she was thinking, her daughter told her in no uncertain terms that she would not leave Ukraine.  Her daughter sees her father on a regular basis and her father would be thrilled to have her living with him.  There is no way I could see separating this lady from her daughter.  There is more to it, but I simply cannot imagine asking a lady to leave a young teenager behind.

As of right now, I am no longer searching in any area of the FSU.  I will make a prediction that at some point I probably will be back.  Why?

Lets see, I have asked 3 USA women for a date.  Each one of these women has complained about not being able to find a man.  Each of them is a friend of a friend and our mutual friends suggested we should date.  The result...  Not one of these women and I have gone on a date.  They each agreed to a date in theory, but when it comes time to actually set a day and time, nothing is good. 

For now I am going to enjoy my summer and stop thinking about FSU or USA ladies.  I have plenty of hobbies, family and a new puppy.

[Shadow]

Sorry to hear that the political situation caused a breakup. 
It does put people under a great deal of stress, more than those in safe countries can ever imagine.
And regarding the woman in Kiev you made the right choice.

As much as I have made some criticism, you seem to be able to make the right choices, which means that when the time and woman are right, you may be succesful. In the mean time, take care and do not disallow fate to surprise you.

[GregfromGa]

Hang in there. You might have just dodged a bullet and not even know it. Use your down time to get on Plenty of Fish or Match.com, focus on yourself, get in shape. You are not against the clock on this.

[lonedrake]

Lets see, I have asked 3 USA women for a date.  Each one of these women has complained about not being able to find a man.  Each of them is a friend of a friend and our mutual friends suggested we should date.  The result...  Not one of these women and I have gone on a date.  They each agreed to a date in theory, but when it comes time to actually set a day and time, nothing is good. 

I can relate to that. For whatever reason they have a fear of meeting in person. I guess having an online relationship is safer.

[CDW]

I am very sorry about your situation.  That's why I have stopped looking for Ukrainian women living in the South & South Eastern side of Ukraine.   I'm continuing on looking for women in the West of Ukraine but I take it slowly just in case things will spread there!

I would avoid women with children totally as they caused too many problems. 

Have a great summer, doing something else other than looking for a woman - too much stress!

[Shadow]

I am very sorry about your situation.  That's why I have stopped looking for Ukrainian women living in the South & South Eastern side of Ukraine.   I'm continuing on looking for women in the West of Ukraine but I take it slowly just in case things will spread there!

I would avoid women with children totally as they caused too many problems. 

Have a great summer, doing something else other than looking for a woman - too much stress!

Just remain cautious of any woman in the FSU under this situation. Their motivation may be to get out more than to care about who they are getting out with. The best to find is a woman who does not wish to leave, but still decides to.

[LAman]

Sorry to hear what has transpired. If I remember correctly, isn't this girl from Russia someone you only met in 'other' countries and have never been to her hometown and met any of her family???? Maybe I only read about your travels.

How long did you speak to the Kiev women let alone never met. Sometimes , if you have patience, things work out one way or another. But its your call.

I still think 'love' conquers all. Some that are not completely sold will come up with excuses. If you really want to be with someone, you make it happen!!!!

[Patagonie]

Hi all,

I have not been here much lately and thought I would fill all in on my situation.  My lady and I were working on completing the K-1 Visa when things went south in Ukraine.  My lady lives in Russia, just over the border from Ukraine, but her mother and brother live in Eastern Ukraine.

She decided that with the Fascists in power in Ukraine (Her words not mine) that she needed to stay in Russia in case her family needed to escape from Ukraine.  So our relationship ended. 

I went back online and was talking to another lady from Kiev and she was very interested, very open and we had a good rapport on Skype, however when she told her daughter what she was thinking, her daughter told her in no uncertain terms that she would not leave Ukraine.  Her daughter sees her father on a regular basis and her father would be thrilled to have her living with him.  There is no way I could see separating this lady from her daughter.  There is more to it, but I simply cannot imagine asking a lady to leave a young teenager behind.

As of right now, I am no longer searching in any area of the FSU.  I will make a prediction that at some point I probably will be back.  Why?

Lets see, I have asked 3 USA women for a date.  Each one of these women has complained about not being able to find a man.  Each of them is a friend of a friend and our mutual friends suggested we should date.  The result...  Not one of these women and I have gone on a date.  They each agreed to a date in theory, but when it comes time to actually set a day and time, nothing is good. 

For now I am going to enjoy my summer and stop thinking about FSU or USA ladies.  I have plenty of hobbies, family and a new puppy.

I think that for the moment things are going well for you. In few time you  two stories had been put in the ashtray avoiding you more problem. Number 1 : that is a shit excuse in my IMHO, so no regret. number 2 : it was better to know it in the beginning rather than after having filled an other K1. A real woman takes care about this type of thing BEFORE getting involved in a serious relationship.
For the US women, they complain, it's free but efforts and engagement are not for them.
But for a part what they say is the true feeling wich is enduring in their life : life is now full in the west of army of wussies. When they say that they are not being able to find a man, they mean "to find a real man".
Why you cannot set up a date with them ? It is your job to force them (without showing too much neediness of course).
Good luck, all is fine don't abort your endeavor, focus on central Ukriane, Bielorussia or Russia now. Kiev is not too bad. The chance will come, but you need to keep with, just make a break and enjoy your life.

[BillyB]

She decided that with the Fascists in power in Ukraine (Her words not mine) that she needed to stay in Russia in case her family needed to escape from Ukraine.  So our relationship ended. 

  I have plenty of hobbies, family and a new puppy.

Sorry to hear that Pkeel. Did you by chance talk to her about your thoughts on the conflict and it happened to contradict hers? Maybe it's for the best. If you two are opposites on hot topic issues, it's best you don't live together.

For now I am going to enjoy my summer and stop thinking about FSU or USA ladies.  I have plenty of hobbies, family and a new puppy.

This I don't understand. The best way to forget about a woman is to be with another woman. IMO, a good woman in your life is better than hobbies and a puppy.

[sleepycat]

 IMO, a good woman in your life is better than hobbies and a puppy.

I beg to differ...
Only if your puppy is not as cute as this one.

[BillyB]

I beg to differ...
Only if your puppy is not as cute as this one.

Won't work for me because I'm not into beastiality.

[santo]

Get back on the horse and look for another girl.  Don't waste your summer sulking around and hugging your puppy. My last FSU girl pulled some shady stuff at the last minute and I thought my world had ended.  I just got back online and had a plethora of new ones in weeks.  Right now I'm in Russia with my new one and I'm so happy I dodged the bullet on the first one.  There are so many beautiful lonely ladies here in FSU. Don't fall into the western Wussie mind trap and think that women don't like you.  And don't downgrade, upgrade. Women are not scarce, there are a surplus of them, especially in FSU. There are not enough good men to go around, so go get yourself a better lady.

[ML]

Get back on the horse and look for another girl.

You forgot to specify that it must be a white horse.

[CDW]

You forgot to specify that it must be a white horse.

Exactly the same thought lol

[Larry1]

I have not been here much lately and thought I would fill all in on my situation.  My lady and I were working on completing the K-1 Visa when things went south in Ukraine... 

Sorry to hear about your relationship ending.  As I have said many times, most of these international relationships seem to be inherently fragile.  There are so many ways for them to end.

As of right now, I am no longer searching in any area of the FSU.  I will make a prediction that at some point I probably will be back.  Why?

Lets see, I have asked 3 USA women for a date.  Each one of these women has complained about not being able to find a man.  Each of them is a friend of a friend and our mutual friends suggested we should date.  The result...  Not one of these women and I have gone on a date.  They each agreed to a date in theory, but when it comes time to actually set a day and time, nothing is good. 

After my first FSUW relationship ended I went back online to date here in the US.  Fairly soon I was reminded why I had stopped dating AW and started looking for a FSUW.  I then resumed my FSUW search.

[GQBlues]

...Lets see, I have asked 3 USA women for a date.  Each one of these women has complained about not being able to find a man.  Each of them is a friend of a friend and our mutual friends suggested we should date.  The result...  Not one of these women and I have gone on a date.  They each agreed to a date in theory, but when it comes time to actually set a day and time, nothing is good....

Be honest now...doesn't that sound an awful lot like your FSU dating experience?

Understand when women imply they can't find *a man*, it doesn't necessarily mean *any* man. Those women likely agreed to go out with you just to pacify your mutual acquaintance/s.

All things considered, if you put half as much 'effort' in yourself and your local women as you do with your FSU escapades, you'd easily find greater benefits not only during but after the chase.

Be the type of *man* those women are longing and searching for. Invest in yourself. Life's easier that way.

[Pkeel1]

I do appreciate the people offering helpful advise.

Let's see...

Jump into the arms of another woman, no thank-you.  Summer is over very fast in this part of the states.  It was in the 40's here overnight and there are things I need to get done "before snow flies".

As for the 3 women here in US, maybe if I cared, I would work on it, but I still remember why I started looking in the FSU.  And like I said, I predict that I will be back to looking in the FSU. 

As for working on myself...  probably a lot of projection in that post.  It certainly doesn't pertain to me.

[GQBlues]

...As for working on myself...  probably a lot of projection in that post.  It certainly doesn't pertain to me.

Wonderful!

Another submission for the *X-Files*.

[kk3ds]

Get back on the horse and look for another girl.  Don't waste your summer sulking around and hugging your puppy. My last FSU girl pulled some shady stuff at the last minute and I thought my world had ended.  I just got back online and had a plethora of new ones in weeks.  Right now I'm in Russia with my new one and I'm so happy I dodged the bullet on the first one.  There are so many beautiful lonely ladies here in FSU. Don't fall into the western Wussie mind trap and think that women don't like you.  And don't downgrade, upgrade. Women are not scarce, there are a surplus of them, especially in FSU. There are not enough good men to go around, so go get yourself a better lady.

+1

[Lily]

Lets see, I have asked 3 USA women for a date.  Each one of these women has complained about not being able to find a man.  Each of them is a friend of a friend and our mutual friends suggested we should date.  The result...  Not one of these women and I have gone on a date.  They each agreed to a date in theory, but when it comes time to actually set a day and time, nothing is good. 

I can relate to this. Some of my online contacts eventually slow down without even a face-to-face date being appointed. Although I prefer to meet in real as soon as possible. In most cases, a benefit of doubt is always there.
 
From my observations, no appointment could happen in the cases when neither party is even remotely interested, and no one insists on a personal meeting. Sometimes people just contact the other just in order to do something, may be out of boredom, hoping for a chance. But if there is nothing in the air, then people don't bother.

[BillyB]

I can relate to this. Some of my online contacts eventually slow down without even a face-to-face date being appointed. Although I prefer to meet in real as soon as possible. In most cases, a benefit of doubt is always there.
 
From my observations, no appointment could happen in the cases when neither party is even remotely interested, and no one insists on a personal meeting. Sometimes people just contact the other just in order to do something, may be out of boredom, hoping for a chance. But if there is nothing in the air, then people don't bother.

Could be some guys at work with nothing better to do than flirt with girls on the internet. Could be guys who want to go out with you but hold off asking because they're unemployed and lacking money. Could be guys already in a relationship. Could be just Western men are slow in asking girls out.


When I was communicating with RW at home, I'd sometimes ask the ladies out on the first day of exchanging messages. Ladies would comment that I'm fast for an American. Most would like it and accept. Some would hesitate but I'd respond how long do we have to waste time on the internet talking to each other when we live minutes apart, have coffee, and talk face to face. It's better to decide sooner than later if we'd enjoy each others company.

[Anotherkiwi]

When I was communicating with RW at home, I'd sometimes ask the ladies out on the first day of exchanging messages. Ladies would comment that I'm fast for an American. Most would like it and accept. Some would hesitate but I'd respond how long do we have to waste time on the internet talking to each other when we live minutes apart, have coffee, and talk face to face. It's better to decide sooner than later if we'd enjoy each others company.

I've had dates with three RW who live in Auckland - with all three we had agreed on a first date within a day or two of beginning correspondence, and the dates all happened.  None went any further than that first meeting, but at least the air was cleared and we could both move on far more quickly than we had expected.