of what you can expect if married to a *cough* traditional RW:
that cleanliness is next to Gawdliness , and even Gawd, is a fairly unkept and dirty being... Â
that you dont eat properly,you eat the wrong things, at the wrong time.
its amazing you are alive.
That you don't eat enough, ever.You're a man.A man is supposed to eat. a lot more than you do, whatever that amount is.
if you eat enough to feed a small village in Africa,,
but dont have room for dessert, something is fundamentally wrong withyou.. and ,,,,
well,,,,
you need to eat more.
That some of the proper things you eat, are consumed in the wrong way, even water.
That consuming ice water (or anything with ice ) can kill you,
and actually should kill you..
to be perfectly honest ,
its fairly amazing you are even still alive to read this ......
really.
that iced tea is well, something with ice in it..
it's beyond bizarre anyone would even think to put ice,
ICE mind you!
in tea.
tea = hot
corn = cold
get it straight man!
my gawd !
i bet you put jelly on asparaguas! dont you?
admit it!
that consuming anything cold, when you have a *cold* or *cough* ,
is paramont to drinking Drano.
Drano with ice.
it is just beyond human comprehension ,
if you should somehow live thru it,
you are simply a statistical anomoly, and should be studied closely by scientist!
ShoppingÂ
that shopping is not truly about purchasing anything...
you fool!
yes that is correct, read it again.
ingrain it in your memory banks.
shopping is simply a elimination procudure or process -
to ensure that every single store has absolutely nothing that is exactly what she needs to buy.
when , and only when, every item, in every store,
has been inspected at the level needed for nuclear reactor ratings,
and it is concluded correctly that none of them have anything .at all-
one item *may* then be considered for purchase.
that purchasing said item will take a substantial amount of dwelling on the price, verses the need .
it will also be inspected at the nuclear level for another 20 minutes.
wait, i said 20 mins.. better make that 35 mins ..
 it's possible this will include going back over a few items that were
for sure sub-nuclear standard..
just to ensure that they are sub par,
and yes,not to fear,
they were.
That the above applies to every item needed, ever.
you are possible amused now ,
and think i am refering to a pair of pants, or a new handbag or purse.
I assure you this is every item purchased,
or even considered for purchase.
like apples.,or dill.
that you are responcible for everything..
yes everything.
the suns exact placement , at a particular moment for example.
dont laugh! you arnt married yet or you wouldnt be laughing...
that you are indeed the very best man in the world, and will be treated and valued as such in every way.
(this only applies of course if your RW loves you)
That dieing from drinking iced tea , lessons with time..
you dont die as often,
and dont die as dead as you first should have.
This applies to shopping as well.
Disclaimer:
yes all RW are individuals , and as such you will find every type of personality.
its impossible, and rude,
to generalize an entire populace!
this was meant for amusement only, and if you take it seriuosly you are already married , or have been married , to a RW.
despite this , your milelage may vary.
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