Crashed and burned, but Resurrected by Mila

[Anotherkiwi]

First Russian expression to learn is "Yes Dear"             

For me it was:  ты прав.

Not really much difference, is there? 

[Anotherkiwi]

Mila introduced me someone and I am very interested in her, and she seems like a very sweet girl and she showed interest as well  , at least that's what I felt    and have been told by Mila.  She's now on vacation but I'm planning to do a 3 way call with her and Mila as soon as she comes back.

In the mean time, I started teaching myself Russian so I can better communicate with her going forward.   

wish me luck.

Well...um...yes, we do wish you luck, BUT...if you read more of these threads you will see an underlying point from the great majority of posters (both married and unmarried) - pick someone who already speaks your language.  There are many, MANY women in Ukraine and the rest of the FSU who speak perfectly good English.  Why spend years trying to learn a difficult language just so that you can exchange sweet words with your honey?  There is someone almost exactly like her, living not far away (either from her or from you), who can give you all the conversation you want (even if it's sometimes too much) without you having to break into a sweat wondering if you've pronounced it correctly, or, even worse, insulted her dog! 

Seriously, it's hard enough relating to someone from your own culture, who speaks exactly the same language, and who normally knows exactly what you mean when you switch to slang.  Most foreigners, who speak even fluent English, will struggle with some local expressions.  Those whose English is worse (all the way down to non-existent) will find it an absolute nightmare for at least a couple of years.  You only have to ask the husbands on this forum. 

I'm not talking about refusing to learn her language - by all means, learn the alphabet (it's really not that difficult) and some key phrases.  Add the basics about yourself - e.g. "Hi, my name's Mike Smith and I live in New York.  I'm an architect, and I have two brothers and one sister" so that you can say something to her mother.  Even that little bit will get you some brownie points.  I've learnt a little bit of the language, and found it came in handy when I was in Russia and Ukraine.  I will learn more if I go back, but that is now highly unlikely.

I didn't find this forum until on my second trip.  I wish I'd known about it before my first - it would have saved so much effort! 

If, of course, you fall absolutely head over heels for someone without a word of English (chicagoguy is one example on here), then all of this goes out the window.  True love will (hopefully) conquer all.

[jone]

AK,

You can get away with insulting her dog.  But if you insult her cat, you are in BIG trouble.

[Shadow]

There is a lot more to communication as language. In fact it often has been proven that people can fail to communicate even if they speak the same language.
The opposite it true as well. What is important is the will to bridge the gaps.

[Patagonie]

thanks for your input and suggestions.  I learned my lessons hard      and my approach will be different next time. 

I thought exchanging many mails will help developing strong foundation first then go see, apparently I was wrong.  Like you said, little bit of phone calls and most importantly "skype"  or something similar video chatting.  Then go see. 

Mila introduced me someone and I am very interested in her, and she seems like a very sweet girl and she showed interest as well  , at least that's what I felt    and have been told by Mila.  She's now on vacation but I'm planning to do a 3 way call with her and Mila as soon as she comes back.

In the mean time, I started teaching myself Russian so I can better communicate with her going forward.   

wish me luck.

If Mila told you that this girl was interested in you, you can firmly believe her, if it is  what she told you few minutes after the appointment that's it.
BUT
it is not for ever
You can loose woman's interest anytime because you are not able to raise or maintain her interest enough (below a treshold you don't know but you are fired off) or because she has met someone with better value.

Between a man she will see or she is meeting alive and a correspondance, the real generally wins.

So the good point is that you have already met her, you have a bonus here.
Try to get her personal phone or skype adress as possible, did you already get it ?

[kk3ds]

During the meeting the girl asked me when can I come back to see her.  I said it could be the following week  It was a joke but realistically I'm willing to fly out to see her even for one day just to surprise her  My busy work doesn't allow me to have a long vacation so my only option, at least for now, is to go see her 1-2 days on the weekends.  I don't get too many annual leaves per year (13 days to be exact) and I'd like to save some days for a real special event/holiday when we both have free time such as year end or easter holidays.  At least I'm showing my willingness to go visit her right? Especially even for a day or so which is kinda crazy schedule but it shows my genuine interest in her and trying to make it happen, doesn't it?  Of course provided that her interest is real. 

Upon finishing our 2 hour meeting, Mila said she's interested in me and I got her email afterwards.  As she doesn't have a PC I don't think she's got her own Skype though.  We'll do a 3 way calling soon with Mila's help as she's on vacation off to her parents place for now. 

Thanks much for your many other tips and inputs.  You are absolutely right that we all have many choices any given time and anything can happen.  That's why I'm willing to do a crazy short trip over the weekends, and make things happen, i.e. make my dreams come true.  I want to win her heart 

If Mila told you that this girl was interested in you, you can firmly believe her, if it is  what she told you few minutes after the appointment that's it.
BUT
it is not for ever
You can loose woman's interest anytime because you are not able to raise or maintain her interest enough (below a treshold you don't know but you are fired off) or because she has met someone with better value.

Between a man she will see or she is meeting alive and a correspondance, the real generally wins.

So the good point is that you have already met her, you have a bonus here.
Try to get her personal phone or skype adress as possible, did you already get it ?

[Patagonie]

About FSU women, you should try humour with some cautionsness.
It is better to not talk about your projects to come, do it and surprise her than to blabla and don't come or come a very long time after.

I know a date where when the lady asked how many childs the guy wanted, he answered five to joke. The lady stood up, took her pursue and left in the next seconds. End of the story, end of the date. 

[notforone]

Thanks much for your many other tips and inputs.  You are absolutely right that we all have many choices any given time and anything can happen.  That's why I'm willing to do a crazy short trip over the weekends, and make things happen, i.e. make my dreams come true.  I want to win her heart 

I think you're pretty much rolling the dice here. You haven't even slept with this girl (right?). Keep your options open, communicate with more girls while communicating with her (and also date in your country if possible). Don't make the mistake to fall in love from one meeting. Make her work to win you. It's a two way street. Don't let her take you for granted and don't let her think you have no other options in FSU or in your country. You need to win her respect if you want to win her heart. Good luck.

[mroz87]

It's been 4 months now. So how does it go? Hope the OP comes back and share his progress.
Is the girl introduced by Mila legit, or is she the type that simply fizzles out over time like many introduction based service?

[Anotherkiwi]

It's been 4 months now. So how does it go? Hope the OP comes back and share his progress.

Last seen here on 10th September, so he may well be another who has simply faded away after an initial burst of enthusiasm.

[Faux Pas]

It's been 4 months now. So how does it go? Hope the OP comes back and share his progress.
Is the girl introduced by Mila legit, or is she the type that simply fizzles out over time like many introduction based service?

Mila is legit. If she introduced him to some ladies the chances are good they were sincere women. She can make introductions but she has nothing to do with relationships or chemistry

[sleepycat]

+1 regarding Mila...

During my October trip Mila introduced me to a lady with whom we have mutual interest in each other.
Since the lady speaks good English, after accompanying us a couple of times Mila then left us alone so that me and the lady can try to develop a relationship by ourselves.
At the moment I am helping the lady to get a tourist visa to Aust. so she can come to visit me next year.