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Author Topic: Arrival at LAX Nov 2014  (Read 54286 times)

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Offline AC

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Re: Arrival at LAX Nov 2014
« Reply #50 on: December 04, 2014, 01:38:35 AM »
Nice write-up Doug.  Thanks for sharing.  Best to you three.

 :clapping:

Offline Wayne

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Re: Arrival at LAX Nov 2014
« Reply #51 on: December 04, 2014, 09:30:40 AM »
Doug, I had AAA insurance all my life since I was 16 years old. When they found out that my step-daughter was driving on an Ukrainian license, they refused to insure me so I went to a different company.
 
In my state, when you get a driver's license, they take away your old license. When your wife goes back to Ukraine, she will need her Ukrainian license. She could say that she never drove before, but they might have her take classes and the written and driving tests.
 
You can apply for a tax identification number if you do not qualify for a social security number. However, you might want to do a joint US income tax return since you have been married for a long time already.
 
Where are you at with the immigrant visas? If you are married at least two years when she goes to the embassy for the visa interview, they will issue IR1/IR2 visas, which means you skip the conditional status.

Online calmissile

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Re: Arrival at LAX Nov 2014
« Reply #52 on: December 04, 2014, 07:20:46 PM »
Wayne,

I am going to check again with AAA, however it might be overcome with events.   I was not considering her getting a license when she visited previously.  She is studying the license handbook now, so expect her to pass the written soon.  If she gets her Calif license soon, I don't think the insurance will remain an issue.

Havn't decided yet which route to take for the path to a green card.  We won't be married for 2 years until July.  We are looking into the options.

We will get her a fed tax ID # very soon.

I had a surprise today...... I took both Larissa and Lisa to my dentist for a routine exam as well as complying with the school requirement for Lisa to have one.

Lisa's teeth has quite a few issues, even though they are baby teeth.  The work that was done on her teeth while in Ukraine was very substandard.  In fact she is in need of several "baby root canals" (I don't remember the technical term).  The decay around the work is even visible to the naked eye.  Watching her brush her teeth every day, I don't think it is lack of care and she eats very few sweets.

Larissa also has several issues that have to be treated.  Same issue.  Poor quality dental work.

The only reason I bring this up is to caution those bringing family to the US from UA, is to have their teeth checked very early so that it gets resolved as quickly as possible.

Everything has been going smoothly.  Lisa starts kindergarten next week and Larissa goes to ESL classes twice a week.

Next major project is drivers license for Larissa.

We are planning to go to Seattle for Christmas and stay with my family.  Also hope to hook up with several forum friends while there.
Doug (Calmissile)

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Re: Arrival at LAX Nov 2014
« Reply #53 on: December 04, 2014, 08:26:16 PM »
Thanks for the update Doug.

Offline Wayne

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Re: Arrival at LAX Nov 2014
« Reply #54 on: December 05, 2014, 08:47:39 AM »
Dental work in Ukraine can be very poor to good. Denists get low pay. They are behind in materials and equipment. Of course, some people have a lot more trouble with tooth decay than others. They probably don't get the Flouride treatments there either.
 
Doug, did you apply for the visas yet?

Offline Photo Guy

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Re: Arrival at LAX Nov 2014
« Reply #55 on: December 05, 2014, 11:55:58 AM »
Me or the other Doug? :)
No- probably in January....
-doug in AZ

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Re: Arrival at LAX Nov 2014
« Reply #56 on: December 05, 2014, 09:28:15 PM »
Life continues to be interesting in the Wilson house.   :)
Larissa Skype'd me at work asking for cottage cheese, vanilla sugar, and gelatin.  She said she wanted to bake a cake.  I had no idea what vanilla sugar was, but picked up vanilla extract and the rest of it on my way home.  While trying to read the news and relax before dinner, I was asked how many grams of gelatin are in each packet, which I converted for her.  Next, what is a tsp measure.  Pulled out the set of measuring spoons and showed her what the different measures are.

Ah, now back to reading the news.  That didn't last more than 10 minutes.  Next thing, she came running into the lab yelling fire!  OMG, what now?   Running to the kitchen, I found there was no fire but lots of smoke.  It turned out she had the oven on Broil instead of Bake and the top of the cake caught on fire.  My next accessory for the kitchen is going to be a fire extinguisher!   ;D

After showing her the difference on the knob of the oven, we exchanged our usual "Crazy Husband", "Crazy Wife" comments and ended up laughing and hugging.

Tomorrow is Larissa's birthday (41).  We have been so insanely busy I am unable to put together a birthday party for her.  I instead decided to take her out to dinner followed by going out dancing with some of my friends and their wives she met earlier on another trip.

Leaning over my shoulder, she just advised me that we are going to jacuzzi tonight.  Hmmmmmm....sounds like a good way to wind up a busy week.
« Last Edit: December 05, 2014, 09:40:21 PM by calmissile »
Doug (Calmissile)

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Re: Arrival at LAX Nov 2014
« Reply #57 on: December 07, 2014, 11:34:22 PM »
An update on the adjustment process.....

As I indicated earlier, I did not have time to prepare a birthday party and invite friends for Larissa's 41st birthday.  She took it in stride and she and Lisa baked a birthday cake.  We had our own birthday party and the cake turned out fantastic (like everything she cooks).

A new experience I had not encountered in 30 years.....finding and hiring a babysitter.  Guess I will have to get used to it.     :D
As planned, we went out for dinner at Black Angus.  The food was fine but the service was terrible.  Took 20 minutes just to get a cocktail delivered to the table.  The steaks were fine, but it is hard to watch someone eat a well done fillet steak.

Following dinner we went out dancing to a place that some of my friends frequent on a regular basis.  As expected, Larissa was very well received and everyone was full of questions.  She is always asked "How do you like America?"  Her answer is always "I love my American husband".  After being asked again she responds that she likes America very much.  One thing for sure.....she is a cheap date.   One drink and she is social and friendly, two drinks and I think she would be dancing on the tables.    :D   She has some nice moves on the dance floor and the husbands were standing in line to ask her to dance.  All in all, we had a great time.  The band announced her birthday and everyone sang Happy Birthday to her.

I don't know about other UA women, but the food and cooking has a few quirks.  Larissa cooks large pots of things and then we eat it until it is gone.  I am not a fussy eater, but am more used to a variety.  Since it is always tasty, I don't mind.  Another thing, everything is served with sour cream and/or mayo.  Doesn't matter what the dish is.    ;D

Communications with Ukraine is on a frequent basis.  She chats with her son, mother and many girlfriends.  At least at this point she seems to have no reservations for making the move.  I was going to call FIOS and see about adding Russian language channels and their appears to be no reason to do so.  She watches regular TV and Lisa watches the Cartoon Network in English.  In the past couple of weeks, both Larissa and Lisa are speaking more English every day and each day I hear them using new English words they have not used previously.    Larissa's ESL class is no doubt going to accelerate it even faster.

We had an interesting Sunday afternoon.  Larissa wanted to us to take Lisa to the park with a playground.  There is one near the house, so off we went.  While I was watching Lisa play on the playground equipment, I noticed that Larissa was talking to an attractive blond lady that had a toddler with her.  It is not like her to talk to strangers.  I learned that the woman overheard Larissa speaking Russian to Lisa and inquired about where she was from.  It turns out that the woman is from Ukraine.  She came to America as a single parent with her son and went to medical school locally.  She met her (now) husband in school.  They married and both finished school.  He is a pharmacist and she is a doctor (physician).  The two gals were chatting for quite a while and ended up exchanging phone numbers and addresses.  It turns out they live just a couple blocks from us.  We were invited to come over to their place anytime.  I was glad to see Larissa making new friends on her own.

There were a couple interesting statements she made while we were chatting.  I had mentioned that Lisa's father did not have any interest in participating in raising his daughter.  She stated that is typical in Ukraine.  The responsibility of raising children is totally on the mother in the UA culture.  She also stated that she is glad that she married an American man because he is active in raising their daughter.  She even mentioned specifically that American men will take their children to the park, etc.

This should be a lesson for men searching for a UA woman that has young children.  Based on what she said as well as what my wife told me early in our relationship..... They are looking for a good father for their children.  It is no guarantee of finding a '10' every time, but there is a good chance of moving up the scale if you present yourself as a good father to her children.  Larissa indicated that my interest in Lisa and doing things together as a family was very important to her.  Just some food for thought for those that will consider a woman with young children.

A little humorous event while at the playground. I noticed a tow truck near my truck in the parking lot and went over to see what was going on.  It turned out some black guy ran onto the park and stole a couple backpacks off a bench and then sped away in a car.  The backpack had the guys keys to his car and they were towing it away.  I asked the UA women (physician) to please explain in detail to Larissa that she always needs to watch her purse, etc.  She laughed and said "She should already know that....she is Ukrainian".    :D


Doug (Calmissile)

Offline ML

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Re: Arrival at LAX Nov 2014
« Reply #58 on: December 09, 2014, 09:05:59 PM »
Yesterday I mentioned to Ochka about the sour cream or mayonnaise on everything.

She does not put such on everything.

But then tonight, she fried some sliced zuchinni.

She called me over, and laughing said:  You mentioned about Doug and the mayonnaise, and it reminded me that I might want some on my zuchinni.  Do you want on yours also.

I said:  No.
Winston Churchill.  The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

Offline southernX

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Re: Arrival at LAX Nov 2014
« Reply #59 on: December 09, 2014, 09:37:13 PM »
Quote
Dental work in Ukraine can be very poor to good. Denists get low pay. They are behind in materials and equipment. Of course, some people have a lot more trouble with tooth decay than others. They probably don't get the Flouride treatments there either.

dental work iv encountered has been good in ukraine, the surgery was well equiped and modern , price was also good & no flouride is not in the water ime


cal you are now expereincing the fulltime job of love and support that is required in the first 2 years usually

love reading your posts, reminds me of our expereince so much lol

i agree totally in regards to the advise on being a good father for your ladys children , its vital if you want success ime , the child will thrive , just watch them grow and develop

SX
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Re: Arrival at LAX Nov 2014
« Reply #60 on: December 09, 2014, 10:27:29 PM »
Thanks SX.   Having read about a lot of folks having adjustment issues at the beginning, I feel incredibly lucky.  It feels strange, almost like we have been together for a long time.   I think the daily Skype chats for over a year, plus the in-person visits might have something to do with a smoother transition.

What surprises me the most is the affection from 5 year old Lisa.  She has called me papa from the time they got off the plane.  She also frequently tracks me down in the house and gives me hugs and kisses, as though I was always her father.  Also, greets me when I come home from work.  It really warms the heart to have such a nice, affectionate child in the family.





Doug (Calmissile)

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Re: Arrival at LAX Nov 2014
« Reply #61 on: December 09, 2014, 10:36:18 PM »
That's wonderful.

Offline southernX

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Re: Arrival at LAX Nov 2014
« Reply #62 on: December 09, 2014, 10:40:52 PM »
Quote
What surprises me the most is the affection from 5 year old Lisa.  She has called me papa from the time they got off the plane.  She also frequently tracks me down in the house and gives me hugs and kisses, as though I was always her father.  Also, greets me when I come home from work.  It really warms the heart to have such a nice, affectionate child in the family.

CAL , YOU GET WHAT YOU GIVE !!! 

if your a warm loving guy , you will get it back in triple

if you love and care for your wifes child , she /both will return it in immense measure ,

this is the kind of ''be the man '' stuff that is required for the long term success ,
family first always before self ime

a bloke i knew , once stated , ..i cant ''make my wife love me '', but i sure can make it dam difficult for her not to !!! 

hope to read more happy posts from you guys   ;D

SX
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Offline Wayne

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Re: Arrival at LAX Nov 2014
« Reply #63 on: December 10, 2014, 10:40:55 AM »
Perhaps we could have more posts in MARRIED section?

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Re: Arrival at LAX Nov 2014
« Reply #64 on: December 14, 2014, 11:22:05 PM »
Some more tidbits of how the adjustment period is going....
For one thing, time seems to be slowing down.  This is a good thing.  So much more activity each day and weekend.  Seems like I wasted a lot of time before wife and daughter arrived.

Lisa is adjusting to kindergarten very well.  One of her classmates is a Russian girl and they have become good friends.
East/West relations seems to be good here also.  The girls mother is Russian and Larissa and her struck up a conversation at the school .  They exchanged phone numbers and addresses.  The following day, it was raining cats and dogs and the lady called Larissa on the phone to ask if Lisa was going to school in the rain.  The lady came to the house and picked up Lisa and Larissa and then drove Larissa back home.  They seem to be hitting it off nicely.  Larissa invited the lady in for tea and I guess she asked about where Larissa bought the cake they were eating.  Larissa told her that she made the cake and the lady offered to pay her to bake for her.  She has 2 more kids and says she does not have time to bake.  I guess Larissa's cooking not only meets my taste buds but her friends as well.  There was also talk about Lisa going to a gymnastics class with her daughter out of town and the lady indicated that they could take turns taking the girls to the class.

I had a pleasant surprise one morning last week.  There was buckwheat on the table for breakfast.  I had never tried it and suspected I would not be too fond of it.  It turns out it has a sweet flavor and I think I prefer it to oatmeal.  Since she prepares breakfast before she wakes me up, I don't know if she adds something to it to sweeten it, or if it is the natural flavor.  In any case it's not too bad.  I felt sorry for Lisa whenever I was in Ukraine.  It seemed that every morning she had buckwheat for breakfast.  Now I dont' feel so bad.   LOL

I finally was served something I could not eat.  I don't know what it is called but it had vegetables in it and was in a clear geletin substance.  The sight of it did not look appealing to me.  Larissa took it in stride and no hurt feelings.

Since we are going to be in Seattle for Christmas we decided to get Lisa's gifts early.  We bought her her first bicycle (with training wheels).  It was at Walmart.  It probably could have qualified for one of those humerous Walmart photos.  Not only did Lisa have to try out the bike in the store, but so did Larissa.  Larissa in her short skirt riding down the isle on a childs bike got some attention.  They both were told twice "No riding bicycles in the store".  I apologized and told the clerks they don't speak English.  So they tried Spanish......sorry that didn't work either.

Lisa started with not even understanding how the pedals or brakes worked and within an hour she was racing around the patio at home.  Only fell over twice and ran into the wall once.  Fast learner.  LOL

We had minor tradegy this week.  Lisa's favorite cat is missing.  Don't know if someone picked her up or became another coyote meal.  Larissa tells me that while walking to kindergarten every day Lisa is calling out "Sugar, Sugar" hoping she will return.

Lisa is learning English quickly.  She is also a very social girl. While in stores and on the street she is saying "Hello" to everyone she sees.

I was trying to rush to the IRS office on Friday after work to get Larissa and Lisa a Tax Identification Number.  Since we are married it is necessary for us to file jointly on our 2014 taxes. It was raining to beat the band, at night, and traffic was almost a standstill.  Turned out I was one street off and we were 5 minutes late.  Oh well,something to do next week.

Hopefully Larissa will take the written driving test in the next week or so.

Doug (Calmissile)

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Re: Arrival at LAX Nov 2014
« Reply #65 on: December 15, 2014, 01:31:51 AM »
Obviously your lady is not scared of heights, with her tiptoeing on top of that step ladder!

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Re: Arrival at LAX Nov 2014
« Reply #66 on: December 16, 2014, 11:09:07 PM »
Obviously your lady is not scared of heights, with her tiptoeing on top of that step ladder!

Your right, she was't scared, but she scared me.     :)
Doug (Calmissile)

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Re: Arrival at LAX Nov 2014
« Reply #67 on: December 16, 2014, 11:36:28 PM »
With reference to some suggestions to discourage Larissa from making contact with local UA and RU women, I have formed a different opinion (at least so far).

The Ukraine lady (a local physician) that she befriended at a playground a week ago called her on her cell today.  Larissa  informed me tonight they are going shopping together on Friday, her day off.  Great idea!!!  I am not fond of spending hours walking around in stores.

Also, the Russian mother of a classmate of Lisa's drove Lisa to kindergarten when it was raining last week.

As far as I can tell, these women are very well adjusted and happy to be in the USA and I get no negative feeling about them 'corrupting' Larissa's attitude.  They are also very friendly and do not have a 'sharp tongue'.  Of course they are happily married which might make a difference.

Her borscht is becoming a hit in the neighborhood.  While I was at work one of the neighbors was chatting with her and sort of hinted they would like to have dinner (borscht) with us tonight.  The couple raves about her borscht.  I think it is good, but don't really see the reason for so much excitement over it.  The word seems to be spreading, so I expect more visitors in the future.
Doug (Calmissile)

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Re: Arrival at LAX Nov 2014
« Reply #68 on: December 17, 2014, 09:17:08 AM »
Doug, thanks for your continuing updates.

Anything is possible with respect to interactions with other FSU women.

However, it is much too early for conclusions about the character of the two such that Larissa has met to date.

The sheeeeeet could hit the fan at any moment.

Also, you are ignoring the idea that such interactions will delay the learning of English by Larissa and other integrations into life in USA.

I would still contend that the potential negatives outweigh the positives when it comes to this situation.
Winston Churchill.  The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

Offline Chicagoguy

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Re: Arrival at LAX Nov 2014
« Reply #69 on: December 17, 2014, 09:26:33 AM »
Lucky for you and Larissa. My wife has not had much luck here. Sure, there are Russians and Ukrainians near us but it seems there is always a little something off putting about them. Yes, she does see them and talk to them but only because that is all there is.

The problem for us it that most of them live on the other side of Chicago and/or in the parts of the city we don't frequent. We tried Meet Upbut they were all younger. One thing she has done is find some very nice happily married women on the Internet. Alas, they are in other parts of the country.

There are plenty of women out there who complain about husbands and the U.S. but they are best avoided. I remember a few years ago one member met his wife at the airport and as they were driving she turned to him and said "I Am Home".

My wife now calls it home but that is 5 years down the road. Still, I'll take it.

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Re: Arrival at LAX Nov 2014
« Reply #70 on: December 17, 2014, 09:35:15 AM »
Seems that the adjustment is going well.
I am a bit surprised at the borscht. I still remember Mila cooking it for our neighbours and them not going further than a polite taste of the beet soup. Manti and salads were received a lot better.
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Re: Arrival at LAX Nov 2014
« Reply #71 on: December 17, 2014, 09:36:39 AM »
With reference to some suggestions to discourage Larissa from making contact with local UA and RU women, I have formed a different opinion (at least so far).

Agree.  One who insists on choosing friends for a spouse is a control freak, to the extreme.  I would never accept my wife saying something like I can't have golfing friends because they gamble, drink ......  :D

Larissa needs friends.  Let her find friends.  It will be far easier now making friends with FSUW than with AW.  She will eliminate the FSUW who are not fun, friendly and uplifting.  Larissa sounds as if she has an optimistic attitude.  Optimists do not surround themselves with pessimists.

As she becomes more engaged with American life, she will make AW friends. 

Discussing what her various FSUW friends are doing will become a good topic between you, much like telling your wife about your friends.   And it is revealing.

Offline northkape

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Re: Arrival at LAX Nov 2014
« Reply #72 on: December 17, 2014, 12:35:41 PM »
Thanks for the updates Cal,,,
It's good reading, and too far between,, at least for a site like this.

A few points though for the readers,, based on my experiences,,

I agree with you Cal, about the knowledge of English, from the start,,
Some readers might remember my previous opinion and posting about this.

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=16628.0

Don't let language problems get in the way, when you find a woman with great "chemistry"
A language can be learned, a personality not....
FSU women are generally well educated, and capable of learning a language very good.

About dentists in Ukraine,,,,,,,
14 years ago when marrying with Lena,
I didn't even think about using a Ukraine dentist for fixing her teeth, because of the substandard work generally done in Ukraine.
And ended up paying a small fortune for having it done at my dentist here at home.
Today, I know a lot better, as with almost everything else, it depends on who is doing the work.
This summer, I have personally used a talented female dentist outside Kiev,
for a serious upgrade of all previous dental work done throughout my life.
Not only is she and her staff doing better work than my local specialist, but at a fraction of the cost.
The kind of time she is using, for making a perfect repair, is no longer feasible in a "high cost" country like Norway.
I can't imagine customers here, that would be willing to pay for the extra amount of hours.
(and in addition, spending that much time in her chair)
And she would also make a lot less money, by striving so hard for perfection.

About Russian speaking friends for your wife,,,,
In my opinion, it's for her to decide what kind of friends she wants to mingle with.
I saw this with Lena, sharing a native language can make up for a lot of unwanted personality traits among newfound "friends".
Based on my experiences, I don't think men in general understands how isolated you will feel, when cut off from your native language.
Throughout my life, I have seen what kind of bonds a common native language can create.
All the way from my childhood days, when my parents moved from the far north, to the south of Norway.
Just the difference in dialect, made it very difficult for them to find new friends.
Our family at that time, ended up visiting other couples from the north, in neighbor cities, for social evenings.


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Re: Arrival at LAX Nov 2014
« Reply #73 on: December 17, 2014, 06:52:17 PM »
Thanks for the comments Northkape.
Doug (Calmissile)

Online calmissile

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Re: Arrival at LAX Nov 2014
« Reply #74 on: December 18, 2014, 09:12:35 PM »
Oh Happy Days    :)

Today, Larissa passed her written Calif drivers license test.

I thought the day was going to end crappy.  She was nervous Nelly and did not think she would pass.  It was the second day in a row that I took time off work to take her to the DMV.  Yesterday we went there and were told that the test is only by appointment.  They gave back the application and made  an appointment for 3:40 PM today.  Came home from work and spent a few minutes working with her over a problem she was having with the Russian description of Red light vs. Red arrow.  Finished that and headed for the DMV.

Upon arriving at the check-in counter the gal started the application and then asked for the form I-94.  I did not know what it was.   She then handed us a tiny slip that states Calif. law requires the printout of a Customs and Border Protection form I-94 which verifies how long a person is allowed to stay on each visit.  Even with the stamp in her passport/visa, they still had to have this duplicate info.  Nice, it is now 4:00 and you have to start the test by 4:30 or make a new appointment.  Crisis time!!!  How am I going to find a place in town to download a government form,  print it out, and get back to the DMV by 4:30.  I first went to Barnes and Noble.  There were several people waiting in line at customer service and even after asking a lady if she would mind if I cut in to ask a quick question, it was no-go.  The clock was ticking and I ended up leaving and rethinking the problem.  The Verizon store is not far away so we raced down there. I explained that it was urgent and I spend about $500 a month and need a big favor.  The clerk downloaded the I-94 and printed it out.  We raced back to the DMV and proceeded to turn in the application about 4:25.

After a few minutes we were sent to a window with a somewhat grouchy civil servant lady.  She immediately told us that we were too late to take the test since it was now 4:32 (by the time she typed all the forms, etc).  I went over to the testing room and explained our dilemma to the testing supervisor and asked if he would please accommodate Larissa taking the test.  If he answered, I did not hear it, but I noticed he was still hanging around.  When the woman finally finished processing the application she asked a co-worker if the test supervisor was willing to test her.  He apparently said yes.  Lisa and I waited holding our breath while Larissa took the test.  After about 20 minutes she was through and called me in to answer/interpret some questions he had.  He seemed to be unfamiliar with new licenses for foreign drivers.  The previously grouchy woman came in and interrupted him and told him to just issue her a temporary license.  Done deal!  She can now drive (alone) for 2 months and needs to go back and take the driving test to get her permanent license.  I am glad I kept my cool when she initially told us we were too late.  I thanked both of them upon leaving.

The afternoon got even better.  I told Lisa we could go to McDonald's and celebrate if mama passed the test.  Naturally, I could not re-neg on that deal.  One our way, Larissa got a cell call from her new Ukrainian physician friend that is taking her shopping tomorrow.  She invited us to dinner at their house tomorrow night after their shopping spree.  The reason I offer some of these details is to illustrate how warm and friendly the Ukraine and Russian people are that we have met.  The next step is to prepare her for the driving test which should be a breeze if she can lighten up on the accelerator.     :D

Edit:  I forgot to mention that Calif DMV does not keep any foreign drivers licenses.  The do need the information off it to enter into the data base however.  Saying that she did not have one, or did not have it with her would have been a mistake.  If she had not had it, she would have been issued a learners permit and could not drive alone.  This question was asked up-thread, and thought I would clear up that issue.
« Last Edit: December 18, 2014, 09:53:22 PM by calmissile »
Doug (Calmissile)

 

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