Today's Novorussian Joke

[AkMike]

A JOKE FOR TODAY - but as some have said "it could be closer to the truth !!"
A' Novorusski' Integration official walked into a school in Donetsk and ordered the principal to call a meeting of all students for re-education purposes in the gymnasium.
Once everyone assembled, the official started:  My name is Ivan Ivanovich, and I am here to help you transition into what you have always been, but were denied by the deception of Kyiv. You have always been historically Novorusski, and I am here to remind you. Now, everyone will repeat after me. I will start. My name is Ivan Ivanovich, and I am a Novorussian.
He pointed to the boy next to him and the boy stated,  My name is Sasha Alyianovsky, and I am Novorussian.
Good, and the girl next to you, said Ivan Ivanovich. ?My name is Yulia Semanova, and I am a Novorussianka.
Another boy next to her just sat there, motionless. The Integration official asked him to speak, and the boy said,  My name is Oleh, and I am Ukrainian.
What!?  That is not how you are to respond. You know what the proper response is , said Ivan Ivanovich. Now, try it again.
Oleh repeated,  My name is Oleh, and I am Ukrainian. My mother is Ukrainian, my father is Ukrainian, my grandmother is Ukrainian, my grandfather is Ukrainian, and so are my brothers and sisters.
To this, the Integration officer asked,  So, Oleh, if your mother and sisters were prostitutes, your brother was a junkie, and your father was in the Mafia, what would that make you??
Easy!

 Novorusski!

[lordtiberius]

Pretty funny

[jone]

Ivan Ivanovich, huh?