yet another reflection on Photoguy's K-1 experience

[Photo Guy]

Hey, how's it going?

I just read some of the recent summaries, about my experience here at RWD, so I'll attempt my own summary:

I joined RWD a couple of months after contacting Larisa through a major online agency. I read a lot and saw many conflicting opinions, etc.  (winter of '04/'05)

I flew to Kiev to meet Larisa, face to face for the first time. Her English was terrible, but I could still tell that her temperament and sense of humor were attractive qualities. Our chemistry during that week together was mixed. I asked the folks at RWD for their opinion about the fact that Larisa did not kiss me. This contradicted the rest of our interactions, which were generally very warm.

At that time, the puffed-up authoritarians basically told me to give-up on her, that she was not very good looking, just a shop girl, and I could 'do better'. All of my instincts told me that it would be a mistake at that time to drop her and find someone else.
(note: yes, before I met her in Kiev, Albert advised me that she was probably a prostitute)

At that time, the negative opinions about Larisa and myself were very insulting.

I remained focused on Larisa. The net result was that we did spend almost 90 days together, living here in the USA. I value the experience. She's a wonderful woman, but imperfect like myself. We are both sinners, capable of forgiveness. As I've said, I regret not making another trip to her home town, before she came over here. Her need to return to Ukraine, was ultimately originated by her homesickness, and a ..medical condition. It's very personal stuff. Larisa did not trust American doctors. I can't go into it, but Larisa just checked into a hospital two days ago, in Ukraine. I pray for her speedy recovery. I miss her very much. My thanks to those who have supported me without malice.  -doug

[PeeWee]

Well, Doug, i had a simular experience as you about 5 years ago on another forum. The naysayers and authoritarians were there, just as they are here. Everytime I would ask my newbie question some know it all clown would crop up and tell me how this woman was a red flag. Finally, me being a bit more smarter than the masses, I gave up on them and just went ahead and did my own thing my own way. Three years later that lady and I were still going strong and every one of those red flags that I had been warned about were as bogus as their collective good advices were.

Just a few months ago I, and I forget why, came by to participate again. What I am finding is that nothing has changed. The actors are different but the play is the same. Doug, you just need to do as I did. Read and learn. Ask questions, because there are some knowledgeable fellows that contribute here. When it comes to advice on human relations. Well, you know yourself best and you know what it is that you want to accomplish. Better than anyone does. You might have screwed up but I think that Lara is cute. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Maybe you should collect your thoughts and find out if you need to make a trip to see her. Maybe meet her family. But only if you think it would be productive for you. You both parted as friends so in that regard you did come out a winner.

Peewee

[KenC]

Doug,
I hope Larisa is OK now and that all your dreams come true.
KenC

[Bruno]

Her need to return to Ukraine, was ultimately originated by her homesickness, and a ..medical condition. It's very personal stuff.

Doug, a return because of medical reason is something very different... if you have write this in the beginning, the reaction of people will be other and we will not have 3 topic about your K1 and several page of text. A forum is not a poker place where you hide your card until the last moment... a simple line like the quote up have can change everything in the reaction of other...

I wish her a good health.

[Markus]

Yes, it's another long post from me. But, since its "me" posting, the interest level will be at a maximum. I realize I'm mimicking the confidence of Rush Limbaugh, and, I enjoy the sarcastic correlation between Rush and I. But, Rush is always correct; I'm only correct when I read what I posted (please read that statement closely before getting upset).

Photoguy,

I just read your words and I believe that what you just wrote reflects who you are and exactly what you are feeling. I would really like to encourage you to continue what you set out to achieve in the beginning of your process. As I concluded in my previous post (paraphrasing my thoughts), I recommend that you avoid ladies in the 20s since you are in your 50s. And, don't let the negative tone of those posters who disagree with you dictate your future with respect to finding an FSUW. I commend you for having the "guts" to expose yourself on this board. There's not very many men who have the inner strength to show who they are by discussion. It's very easy for people to respond with their opinion to a man who has valid questions, but, only a strong man seeks wisdom. That wisdom is doctrine to some of the posters (in their opinion) and if you oppose that doctrine, the person providing the "correct" doctrine gets upset if you disagree or proceed and ignore their doctrine. What's really fun for the providers of the "correct" way to make this endeavor a success, is when what they said happens. Here's an example; Richard, who does something in the field of psychology, needed to make a "2nd" trip to confirm he was going down the wrong road. The result was that he validated the fact he was going down the wrong road from that 2nd trip.  But, to his favor, he would have never known he was going down the wrong road if he had not made that 2nd trip. I'll let him talk about the advice he received. In the words of Teddy Bear Roosevelt, "Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure... than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat. There's more words after the "...", but Teddy Bear U.S President didn't think too much of folks who didn't try.

There's so many good responses and I'll admit I'm not sure where to begin. But, let me expose myself with a question. Is the fact that I'm a Dallas Mavericks fan, the key word being Maverick, the reason why I enjoy posts that disagree with me more than posts that agree with me or posts that try to ride the fence?  I find more pleasure in posts that disagree with me. Unfortunately, not one person responded with any opinion about my answers to the originator of the post. Do we have a Teddy Bear thing going on here? I will, however, begin by responding to a 2-liner, and Tomt is the top man.

Tomt, you state the following words: "If anything is more astonishing than Mark's relentless feud with you, it is that anyone actually takes him seriously. Perhaps they will be cured of this after they have read his retarded posts for as long as we have." Tomt, please describe the "feud." Next, your are welcome to provide my "retarded" posts and prove that I'm "backward in mental development." Perhaps you are a man who chooses to sit on the side lines with one-liner responses. I'll give you a homework assignment. Go back and search and find my retarded posts, repost my thoughts here, and I will respond. I hope you won't grab a few sentences to prove your "retarded" theory; Otherwise, I'll have homework that I will finish. One thing is for sure; If I am/was wrong, I'll admit it, which leads to my next paragraph. But, you need to step up to the plate sir and back up your statements; otherwise, Theodore Roosevelt has described you extremely well. Are you afraid of me bringing you into an exchange of thoughts on this board that will expose who you are?  Just provide facts to support your words and we'll continue from there.

BC,

I gotta admit, I do like the way you respond. Let me admit that your are correct. Yes, I don't know the complete history about Doug. I read subjects on this board before I joined, but, I admit, I don't know the complete story. But, what I do know is what's posted in this thread. Along with other posters, my responses were not dealt with. Take the time and deal with what I posted based upon what you know I should know.  I am correct until you show that I'm incorrect. Taking an avenue that's outside the realm of what I posted is an opinion from you until you show that I'm wrong. Just give me the facts and why I'm wrong, and, if I agree, I will admit that I'm wrong. But, to say I'm wrong because "I don't know the whole story", and using that statement as a blanket response to my responses is very weak. There is an intellectual effort necessary to show an affirmative is wrong. Just do it. I know the history of the originator of the thread and how he likes to be correct. So, if you think that because I don't know the whole story, and, you feel there are parts that are relevant to show that my responses are incorrect, then do it. Otherwise, what I posted above is correct. Show me that I'm wrong.

The word "target" has drawn some attention. I used that word in this thread about Kenc. I'm not going to get into the "target" word since I have already, in the past, created a thread, "Is is Smart For a 45-Year Old Man to Target a 20-Year Old Girl?" That subject was not about about Kenc, although, many folks automatically thought about Kenc and brought up his name (I wonder why?). My use of the word target was to correlate what Kenc and Doug both did. Kenc and Doug have something in common.



Bruno,

Do you want to play personal life poker with me? If so, then fall into the rhetorical trap. Or, is it easier for you to play poker with someone else's life while watching rather than actually playing? If you were a player then you would actually be Photoguy. I'm using your words, not mine, to show how you really don't care. When did Photoguy's life become a poker game? Perhaps you have been playing too much Texas Holdem. If you want to use an analogy to express yourself, you can do better than a poker game that you are only watching.

Finally, I think most folks have heard of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde so I ask the readers to re-read the the first post, the initial post, the subject of the thread, and determine if the same person who posted the thread also posted the one-liner below. The poster has a history of doing what I'm showing you.

Doug,
I hope Larisa is OK now and that all your dreams come true.
KenC

Me

[Bruno]

Bruno,

Do you want to play personal life poker with me? If so, then fall into the rhetorical trap. Or, is it easier for you to play poker with someone else's life while watching rather than actually playing? If you were a player then you would actually be Photoguy. I'm using your words, not mine, to show how you really don't care. When did Photoguy's life become a poker game? Perhaps you have been playing too much Texas Holdem. If you want to use an analogy to express yourself, you can do better than a poker game that you are only watching.

I don't need to play personal life poker, i have always show all my cards on the table, on the view of everybody... i will not invite you to review all my post here, else you will be busy for the next few month...

I play a open game, and i don't watch other... About be a "Photoguy", i don't think, i was worse... In my case, i have marry a Russian woman who was not in love with me, blinded by her beauty... Photoguy and Larisa was able to stop/suspend the story when they have understand that they was not yet ready for marriage... Of course, i have learn from these big mistake but the cost ( financial and emotional ) was more high that in the Photoguy case.

And i have never say that Photoguy's life is become a poker game, i was speaking about the post here... After a initial post with very few information, he wait a long time and come back with a new element who change everything... Between the "she is back home" and the "she is back home for medical reason", you can find a big difference.

And again, about be only watching, it is fully untrue and unfounded... i am one of the more active member here, if not the more active... i have help some personally via PM or/and e-mail... I have help some lady/men to find the right partner and in the begin June, i will start again something for help a Ukrainian woman ( first hand material never find on the internet before  )... so, for a watching one, i am enough actif and participating.

PS: Question from one European : what is the game named "Texas Holdem" ?
EDIT : forget the last question, i have find the reply... "Texas hold'em" : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Texas_Holdem

[Ste]

I had thought of this before, AJ.  What an advantage any rug rat would have by having an opportuity to learn to speak two languages. I have a pal how is married to a Chinese lady. Their three little ones all speak both English and one of the Chinese dialects.

Peewee

My 10 yo boy has the Cyrillic alphabet sorted - he finds it cool but best is my 5 yo girl, she frequently asks us 'vam holodna/zharko?' in the car and even sings 'Kukushka' in Russian, not knowing the words but just just repeating it phonetically. Always amazes me!

AJ: yes we do have plans for more but not yet. I reckon a fair rate in is the same rate as we ship 'em out. I've one turning 16 1st June, she's under notice to quit!

BTW everyone just so yous knows I actually have never had a porn habit, that was me over-egging the pudding to make me look more pathetic. In fact around that time instead of increasing my wanking output I was thinking of getting into Radio Controlled Model Helicopters and learning to play the bagpipes.

My brother got all the porn chromosomes in my family, he has it on DVD, VHS, computer, everywhere. He's even made a DVD of his favourite scenes that loop endlessly.

Ste

PS When is someone gonna ship a bed headboard with a toilet roll holder on?

  

[andrewfi]

Oh come on now, this is getting really silly.

Now she went home because she was ill...

I am willing to give Doug he benefit of the doubt on this, but in doing so, I know that he has been, once again, dishonest with us, and probably, himself in almost everything written since he disclosed that she had returned to Ukraine.

I find myself wondering if we are reading the imaginings of a tale teller, one purposefully misleading his audience with fictional stories, or something else.

If what Doug tells us now is in any way related to truth, then why not disclose the matter until the water in which sits, cooking, gets a tad warm? At the least he is being manipulative, at the worst, displaying symptoms of a person with issues needing assistance beyond that which a forum of this nature can provide.

[Admin]

Oh come on now, this is getting really silly.

Now she went home because she was ill...

I am willing to give Doug he benefit of the doubt on this, but in doing so, I know that he has been, once again, dishonest with us, and probably, himself in almost everything written since he disclosed that she had returned to Ukraine.

I find myself wondering if we are reading the imaginings of a tale teller, one purposefully misleading his audience with fictional stories, or something else.

If what Doug tells us now is in any way related to truth, then why not disclose the matter until the water in which sits, cooking, gets a tad warm? At the least he is being manipulative, at the worst, displaying symptoms of a person with issues needing assistance beyond that which a forum of this nature can provide.

Or... he might be a person who came onto the board expecting to receive assistance and advice offered up in a friendly and caring manner - and when he found himself feeling insulted and berated for his candor and enthusiasm, decided to be more circumspect and cautious as to what he shared.

It may be that, he has struggled with the attention he's received and been perplexed at the amount of energy others seem to want to give his posts.

It's possible that, after a time, he evolved into more of a 'tickle the dragon's tail' style of posting - rather than an 'open kimono' style of posting.

And it might be that the only real support Doug found here, was found through the personal messages and off-board contacts he made.

It's possible Andrew - just possible.

- Dan