Hello All. New here.

[Trauma_RN]

I have so many questions but am not sure where to begin. Especially when you don't know what you don't know.

First about me. I live in the Southeastern US, I recently turned 51, divorced since 2007 with three grown kids, youngest is 19. Had vasectomy 18 yrs ago so having more kids is out. Would not want more babies anyway. I have a decent job, live alone in my apartment. I have all my hair, with very little gray, not overweight, and I have all of my teeth.  Almost everyone assumes I am 40-45 yrs old.

I am not looking for a 25 year old woman because I would have very little in common with someone that young. I am interested in finding a lady 35ish to 45ish that speaks English well enough to not need an interpreter, that also either already has kids, or does not want kids. English speaking is non-negotiable because communication is so very important in a relationship. 

Have become a member on Elena's Models a couple of months ago due to it appearing to be fairly reputable. Is this correct? I have communicated with 3-4 different ladies that fall into my desires/requirements. All of them are in Ukraine. I think it would be better to communicate only with women in the same general location so when I travel there in June I do not have to travel from Ukraine to Russia and back to meet in person. There were two women I emailed back and forth, using our personal email addresses, every day for a couple of weeks. I received my last email from both of them on the same day approx 4 days ago. I am unsure why they stopped writing. I even went back and made sure I didn't accidentally send the wrong email to the wrong lady. One lady's emails were only a few lines, 5-6 lines always addressing any questions I may ask. I asked if writing to me in English was difficult, thinking maybe that was why her emails were so short, and she stated it was not hard at all. She sent many professional looking photos of herself and photos of herself with her students. The other lady would send much more detailed emails telling me about her life and asking about mine. I notified both of them a couple of weeks ago that my intention is to travel to Ukraine the end of June. Actually I am currently trying to get a spot as a member of a medical team that is traveling to Ukraine. I thought that would be a good way to kill two birds with one stone.

Is there any advice that can be offered? I am being optimistically cautious in my contacts with Ukrainian women. The letters I write are normally several paragraphs long detailing who I am and what I am looking for.

[Shadow]

First advice : move on from writing to Skype or telephone contact. That may be what they are waiting for, as in mails there is only so much you can write before running out of ideas.
I would personally see the one writing short mails as the better prospect, as long winding letters may only seem to go in to questions but can be generic replies in reality.
Anyway good luck in your quest and do not hesitate to continue asking questions.

[Faux Pas]

i would add to forget about the 2 birds with one stone approach especially if you have to travel with a team being a trauma nurse. Plan a trip and go on your own. It's not as daunting as many first timers tend to believe. I would also second what shadow said. Get them on Skype or the phone pronto. This is 2015 guy, ladies don't expect the share emails for weeks on end. You may not hear back from those two at all. If not, don't sweat it, move on to the next two

[RoboCop]

EM is a great site, one that I highly recommened. They probably stopped responding because they have multiple men mssaging them. It gets tiring after a while spending all your energy writing messages in a foreign language to a man who might, or might not, meet up with you in your home country. Sometimes they have to bite the bullet and choose one whom they think are more likely to follow through and meet up with them, and cut the rest. Maybe you didn't make the cut.

I understand what you are saying about going for girls within the same country/city, however mroz is currently nearing the end of his trip in Kiev, and apparently it's a less than an ideal city if you are thinking about going over there. However I don't know what he looks like, what his real life personality is or his predicament that well, so things need to be taken with a grain of salt. But I'm sure if you shoot him a pm he'll be able to give you some advice.

Triple vouch the skype thing, I also advocate daily communicatiom via whatsapp or viber as well.

Best of luck.

[RoboCop]

I actually just re-read your intro, and lol, there's always some older guy who comes onto the forum, and there's this pattern where they state their age, (in this case 51) but then go on to say something like "but I look 40-45." Usually this is a sign of them backwards rationalizing why they should be able to date a girl much younger than them. How you age is so subjective; who are you comparing yourself to? A 50 year old who's been abusing drugs for the last 2 decades? Your typical American-male following the standard American diet? Or some Asian dude who's 50 but looks 35 compared to his European-American counterpart?

I'm apart of a group in my city where guys with partners from the FSU meet up every month or so to just chat and hang out. Everytime I've met a couple where the guy was significantly older than his wife, the relationship between the two was more akin to an exchange of goods and services rather than a relationship based on mutual attraction. It's a myth perpetuated by the industry that girls want to be with a man old enough to be their father or grand-daddy. Like those MOB videos you see on YouTube with these sleazy old men trying to pick-up some teenage girl. They think they're in utopia, but after the momentary euphoria settles, reality comes crashing down on their face.

That statement would have p1$$ed off a lot of the older guys here, because I just described the nature of their relationship, all I can say is...SUE ME!

[Faux Pas]

Trauma the general consensus is, if you're 51, you look it. Don't try to hide it or run from it in fact, embrace it. The fact is, we "all" think we look 10-15 years younger than we are but, we don't. You don't either. If you did you'd be dating the 35-40 year old women at home

[Chicagoguy]

I remember I was in my early 50's and stopped at a Wendy's for a hamburger and soda. When I pointed out that they forgot to charge me for the soda they replied "senior discount".     How could they !

And anybody who is 50 can remember their first unsolicited copy of AARP.

But now I automatically get put in the fast security line at the airport without asking. Shadow has seen me and I am sure he will attest I don't look my age.

[Wayne]

If you don't like children and won't have any, it would limit the number of women interested in you.
 
You might look at a woman who already has an adult child.

[Faux Pas]

I remember I was in my early 50's and stopped at a Wendy's for a hamburger and soda. When I pointed out that they forgot to charge me for the soda they replied "senior discount".     How could they !

And anybody who is 50 can remember their first unsolicited copy of AARP.

But now I automatically get put in the fast security line at the airport without asking. Shadow has seen me and I am sure he will attest I don't look my age.

[/b]

C'mon Chi-guy, we all look our age and there's good reason for that, it's because we are our age. If you're 50, you look 50 to every 30 year old that sees you. Some 50 yr old folks will look 70 to a 30 yr. old. It's a fact of life. In my eyes I am still a youthful 25 year old but, that's probably because I'm not looking at myself all day. There are somethings nobody can control Mother Nature and Father Time are two of those things.

Whenever someone tells you that you look younger than your age, their lying either to flatter you, smooze you or trying to make you feel good for whatever reason. Sure some folks have a rare gene that allows them to fool some people concerning their age but, it's very rare. Much more rare than reading this forum would lead one to believe

[ML]

You might look at a woman who already has an adult child.

And who earns enough to support the three of you.

[Photo Guy]

Actually, there are certain physical manifestations that we associate with old age or aging- for example, 'crow's feet' lines near the eyes, larger jowls, loose wrinkled skin under the chin, blotchy skin, a deepening of the lines that goes from the nostrils down past the corners of the mouth. A very moist climate tends to age the skin less than a very hot dry climate, etc. So there are relative differences in how people age. Cigarette smoke can damage facial skin. There are also differences in how people's hair ages. We associate white or gray hair with 'older'. Some turn gray at 30, some much later. Bad health can also affect how people see our age. Limping around slowly, looks older than walking with a strong brisk pace. Also, attitudes about age vary from person to person.

[ML]

Note to self:

Check out that Grecian stuff and walk faster.

[Chicagoguy]

I am joking about age. Not only do I look my age but worse yet I feel my age.

[Turboguy]

I am joking about age. Not only do I look my age but worse yet I feel my age.

The worst part about getting older isn't if you look your age or not it is that you are your age.  At some point it really catches up to you. 

[/size]

Trauma the general consensus is, if you're 51, you look it. Don't try to hide it or run from it in fact, embrace it. The fact is, we "all" think we look 10-15 years younger than we are but, we don't. You don't either. If you did you'd be dating the 35-40 year old women at home

I don't know if I buy that.  I see guys who are 50 and look 35 and guys who are 50 and look 70.  Of course I also see guys that are 50 and look 50.  Now I think I look my age but most of my life when someone heard my age they seemed shocked.  It was that way for most of my llfe.  I could get into the movies for the 12 and under price at 16.  In my late 40's and early 50's I was mostly dating 21-=30 year olds in the usa.   I did happen to look at the photos from my class reunion last July and there are only two of us guys who don't have gray or white hear one of which is me.   But now as I said I do think I look like my age and feel like I am 10 years older than I am.  Didn't use to be that way, darn it.

[Shadow]

But now I automatically get put in the fast security line at the airport without asking. Shadow has seen me and I am sure he will attest I don't look my age.

Chicagoguy does not look his age at all, in fact he looks younger than me
Then again people who hear my age always wish I will become as old as I look....

[Gator]

Chicagoguy does not look his age at all, in fact he looks younger than me
Then again people who hear my age always wish I will become as old as I look....

You confuse everyone by measuring your age in dog-years.

[Faux Pas]

I don't know if I buy that.  I see guys who are 50 and look 35 and guys who are 50 and look 70.  Of course I also see guys that are 50 and look 50.  Now I think I look my age but most of my life when someone heard my age they seemed shocked.  It was that way for most of my llfe.  I could get into the movies for the 12 and under price at 16.  In my late 40's and early 50's I was mostly dating 21-=30 year olds in the usa.   I did happen to look at the photos from my class reunion last July and there are only two of us guys who don't have gray or white hear one of which is me.   But now as I said I do think I look like my age and feel like I am 10 years older than I am.  Didn't use to be that way, darn it.

We'll have to just disagree here Turbo. I always looked a lot younger than I was for my age when I was younger. My size was generally a giveaway but I sported a baby looking face well into my late 30's. In my mid 40's I was getting hit on by some college aged women. Flattering yes but, that's all it was. You very well may be a carrier of the genes I spoke of earlier but I can say with 98% certainty that I can look at a man (not so much with women) in his 50's and know he's at least 50. Age is a cruel mistress and the older we get the more apparent we are wearing it. Yeah, one could be 30 and look 20. A few can be 40 and look 30, very few can be 50 and look 40 IMHO

[Faux Pas]

We've had dozens if not 100's on this board in their late 40's-mid 50's declare they look 10-15 years younger than their age. In almost every case they were in denial. There may have been one or two exceptions and that is probably over shooting it by at least half

[LiveFromUkraine]

We've had dozens if not 100's on this board in their late 40's-mid 50's declare they look 10-15 years younger than their age. In almost every case they were in denial. There may have been one or two exceptions and that is probably over shooting it by at least half

It's just psycho babble in order to date younger women.  I do wonder if they are trying to convince themselves that it is ok or convince others.  In any case, there really is no need.  We are the age we are.  Me looking 30 years younger (I do) still doesn't help me relate to that age group.   


If they want to date younger women, date younger women.  I do think they should stop with the excuses and own up to it otherwise they may let their insecurities get the best of them.

[Boethius]

Of course it is to convince others.   But the reality is, no one (other than possibly the woman's parents) cares.

[Faux Pas]

It's just psycho babble in order to date younger women.  I do wonder if they are trying to convince themselves that it is ok or convince others.  In any case, there really is no need.  We are the age we are.  Me looking 30 years younger (I do) still doesn't help me relate to that age group.   


If they want to date younger women, date younger women.  I do think they should stop with the excuses and own up to it otherwise they may let their insecurities get the best of them.

If you're 50 you look 50 to others even if you don't to yourself. Most especially you're going to look 50 to a 30 year old. Just the way it is. Mother Nature is such a fickle ho'

[Chicagoguy]

My wife is 15 years younger and she thinks I look 15 years older than her. 

[fathertime]

It's just psycho babble in order to date younger women.  I do wonder if they are trying to convince themselves that it is ok or convince others.  In any case, there really is no need.  We are the age we are.  Me looking 30 years younger (I do) still doesn't help me relate to that age group.   


If they want to date younger women, date younger women.  I do think they should stop with the excuses and own up to it otherwise they may let their insecurities get the best of them.

I've always thought it was silly to tell everybody that you look younger...I feel I look my age...but I feel really good, better than I did years back!


Fathertime!   

[Trauma_RN]

Ok. it is pretty obvious most of the people on this site are lacking in reading comprehension or perhaps the  First I gave my age as a justification as to why I am NOT looking for a 25 yr old. Yes, everyone, including men are astonished when they learn I am 51 when they assume I am closer to 40. I never abused my body so my face lacks the fine lines caused by smoking, also since I don't smoke my teeth are white and not that nasty Land O Lakes butter hue. I never made a bar my second home so I don't have that yellow tint that comes with a failing liver. I never was a a sun worshipper so I am not leathery, I have less gray hair than many 40 year olds, I am not overweight so I don't waddle, my gait is swift and steady. Second, where in the crap did I state I don't like kids? I said I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE MORE. Sue me because I don't want to be 70 years old watching a step child graduating from high school.

After my only experience here it is obvious this site has nothing to offer.

This photo was taken Jan. 11, 2015, so eat it. 

[Boethius]

Trauma RN, you just got sidetracked.  You can find good information here, if that is what you are looking for.
 
BTW, you do look your age.  Nothing wrong with that.  But, I commend you for posting a pic.  Most men won't do that.