Just starting out

[kjh215]

Hi everyone. I just thought I would say hello. I am 31 and have been divorced from my American ex for about 6 months. I have been doing a lot of research on the foreign women subject for quite some time and have looked at many conversations on this website. First of all I just want to say thank you to everyone for trying to put information out there that is helpful. I joined Elena's and have been communicating with a few women and it is going well so far. I have definitely noticed a difference with them being much more straightforward than American women. I have been talking to women from all over Ukraine. I am going to go to Kiev for 2 weeks in April just to get a feel for the country. I will keep everyone posted on how things go. I think seeing the viewpoints of others helps make more well rounded decisions.

[cc3]

Welcome...good attitude. With your outlook, you will enjoy yourself here, provided the moskali barbarian invaders haven't attacked Kyiv before your arrival.

[kjh215]

I've heard things from people about how I must be crazy for going there and what not. I think they are crazy. I don't live my life in fear. I love how so many people fall for all of the propaganda. Plus, I was in the military for ten years, a trip to Kyiv is going to be awesome.

[LiveFromUkraine]

lol  Guys can't help but push politics in each and every thread. 


Anyway, kjh215, you will have to get used to the politics.  This site used to be about finding a partner in the FSU, but now has devolved into everything bad about Russia. 


You said you were only divorced for 6 months.  I strongly recommend taking more time to understand what you want and how you can improve your next relationship.  If this Kiev trip is mainly for fun, I say go for it.  If you're looking for someone serious, I say don't go.  Guys tend to remarry too fast after a divorce only to get divorced again.

[ML]

Plus, I was in the military for ten years, a trip to Kyiv is going to be awesome.

I bet you even got that special training on how to dodge bullets !!

[kjh215]

This trip for me is all about fun. I just want to get a better feel for the country and some of the culture. I've only been divorced for six months, but have been separated for a while. Emotionally it has been much longer. I just want to explore Ukraine and get a grasp on it.

[Turboguy]

I think you will have a great trip.  From what I hear Kiev is pretty normal and you should have no worries about the conflict there.  It is a really interesting city and I think sometimes when you go with low expectations good things happen and sometimes when you go thinking you are going to meet some wonderful person it ends up being disappointing.   Do keep us posted.

[jone]

Great attitude,

I agree with what LFU has said about waiting after a divorce.  People go through stages after a divorce.  Getting into another relationship too quickly can really be a mistake.  Most men need to 'mourn' the marriage so their selection for a new spouse would not be successful.

But laying a foundation for future dating in Ukraine by making a trip and seeing the sights and sounds, and getting a feel for the land is a GREAT idea.

Udachi

[mendeleyev]

This trip for me is all about fun. I just want to get a better feel for the country and some of the culture.

Excellent idea. There is so much to experience and see.

[Jumper]

Excellent idea. There is so much to experience and see.

Exactly, if interested, just go to take in another  culture and an interesting city and country.

[Anotherkiwi]

This trip for me is all about fun. I just want to get a better feel for the country and some of the culture. I've only been divorced for six months, but have been separated for a while. Emotionally it has been much longer. I just want to explore Ukraine and get a grasp on it.

I'll agree with everyone else - go for it!

Much has been made here of the predilection for Western men to get caught up in the hype of the so-called MOB business, and fly off to Russia or Ukraine to being back a ready-packaged, 10/10 beautiful woman, 20 or more years younger than themselves, and set up home for a life of connubial bliss.  IT DOESN'T HAPPEN!  (Well, not often, anyway...)  Your age is a HUGE advantage here, in that you realistically have access to any age group that you want, rather than always having to wonder "does she really love me, or is she just after a Green Card/my money/etc."

Your idea is one that has been promoted here many times (including by me) - by all means, go to find the "woman of your dreams," but be prepared to be disappointed.  In my opinion (although there are plenty here who disagree), you're much better off treating at least the first visit as a cultural/tourist experience, with no romantic expectations.  Even if you're aiming to meet one or more women, and have planned the trip around that, it is far better to assume that nothing will come of it and be pleasantly surprised if it does, than to put all the proverbial eggs in one basket and be left stunned when your dream girl either doesn't show up, or has absolutely no chemistry with you.

Of course, all of this depends very much on your financial situation, and how much time you can afford to be away from home.  You've said that you'll be away for two weeks - just remember that Ukraine doesn't start and stop in Kyiv.  If you can, spend two or three days in Odessa and Lviv as well.  Use trains or buses to get around to give you a better appreciation of the people.  Learn the Cyrillic alphabet and at least a few key phrases (preferably in Ukrainian, because of the political situation).  That said, good luck in your endeavours.

[BillyB]

This trip for me is all about fun. I just want to get a better feel for the country and some of the culture. I've only been divorced for six months, but have been separated for a while. Emotionally it has been much longer. I just want to explore Ukraine and get a grasp on it.

Are you meeting any ladies at all while you're there?

[ML]

I disagree.  The only reason to go is to visit with 10 or more women, the likes of whom you cannot spend quality time with in your home country.

Be a man.

[Boethius]

I agree with ML. 

[Jumper]

I disagree.  The only reason to go is to visit with 10 or more women, the likes of whom you cannot spend quality time with in your home country.

I couldn't!!



 as there wern't any out my league here..
 

 

[ML]

I couldn't!!  as there wern't any out my league here..
 

Yeah, but who wants to spend time with the women players in the NFL?

[Anotherkiwi]

I disagree.  The only reason to go is to visit with 10 or more women, the likes of whom you cannot spend quality time with in your home country.

Be a man.

I agree with ML. 

I disagree with the pair of you, simply because not everyone thinks the same way.  This is back to the classic WOVO v WMVM (or any variation thereof) - what suits one person doesn't necessarily suit another.  We're all individuals, with different likes and dislikes, and different agendas.  Some of us actually enjoy the cultural side of an overseas visit, especially if it's somewhere that we may never see again.

In my own case, I've been to Russia twice, but have only been to the UK and continental Europe once - in 1987.  I made damn sure that I tried to see as much as I could, and visit every museum and cathedral on my wish list, because I knew that there was always a possibility that I would never be there again.  The women I visited in Russia had no hesitation in helping me in this regard, although that may well be because they very quickly realised that there would be no ongoing romance.

[Boethius]

If he is only going to date golddiggers, fine.  But if he is going to meet serious women, it is a mistake.

[BillyB]

Some of us actually enjoy the cultural side of an overseas visit, especially if it's somewhere that we may never see again.

Chances are that's not what brings men to this forum. New guys here are single and missing something in their life and it's not a museum or cathedral. Some guys don't want to tell their true intentions of going to the FSU is to look for a woman probably because there's a stereotype that when a man does that, there's something wrong with him.


If kjh215 is indeed meeting a woman there and she asks him why he chose Ukraine, he better be telling her the truth that he's looking for love. If he tells her that he just sightseeing, he will be labeled a liar. Why choose a country to sightsee when it's in the middle of war? Why Choose Ukraine, when there's Paris, St. Petersburg, London, the Great Wall of China, and beautiful beaches elsewhere? It may be true that a guy goes to Ukraine to sightsee but it's not the only truth so a lady's suspicion will be valid in suspecting a guy is withholding the truth.


When I visited my wife the first time, she asked how many times I been to Ukraine before. After I told her, she asked why I came. I told her I was looking for love but didn't find it. If I told her anything else, she may not be with me today. My wife wasn't turned off by the fact I visited other women. She would be more concerned if I wasn't with any women since my divorce figuring I have a problem.

[AC]

The women I visited in Russia had no hesitation in helping me in this regard, although that may well be because they very quickly realised that there would be no ongoing romance.

Why no ongoing romance?  Was that your choice or theirs?  Why would they hang around to help you in that regard?  I guess this doesn't make sense to me.

I agree with Billy that guys go to Russia or Ukraine looking for love and they should be perfectly honest about it.  If it goes south why not try to line up some other dates?

I don't mind cathedrals and museums but prefer to do that route after finding a love interest.

[ML]

I was telling Ochka about this thread over dinner tonight.

This comment is not about the idea of visiting museums, etc., vs visiting other women if the first one doesn't pan out.

Rather, we discussed the old WOVO vs WMVM argument.

Granted, she is a very confident and probably unusual woman, but . . . she said she was happy to know that I had met with many dozens of women in the FSU and even a dozen women on the trip where she and I first spent quality time together.

In her way of thinking, she was the winner of the contest.

And in winning a contest, she would rather say she was number one out of dozens; than say she was number one out of one, or number one out of two.

Also, she asked me to post this.

[AC]

I was telling Ochka about this thread over dinner tonight.

This comment is not about the idea of visiting museums, etc., vs visiting other women if the first one doesn't pan out.

Rather, we discussed the old WOVO vs WMVM argument.

Granted, she is a very confident and probably unusual woman, but . . . she said she was happy to know that I had met with many dozens of women in the FSU and even a dozen women on the trip where she and I first spent quality time together.

In her way of thinking, she was the winner of the contest.

And in winning a contest, she would rather say she was number one out of dozens; than say she was number one out of one, or number one out of two.

Also, she asked me to post this.

Well I think you know you are with a fabulous woman, congratulations.   

[BillyB]

. . . she said she was happy to know that I had met with many dozens of women in the FSU and even a dozen women on the trip where she and I first spent quality time together.

In her way of thinking, she was the winner of the contest.

And in winning a contest, she would rather say she was number one out of dozens; than say she was number one out of one, or number one out of two.

If you want her to feel like a really big winner, tell her she's the winner among thousands of ladies you met but be prepared for a request to get an STD test.

Also, she asked me to post this.

Tell her the guys here appreciate hearing her point of view.

[ML]

If you want her to feel like a really big winner, tell her she's the winner among thousands of ladies you met but be prepared for a request to get an STD test.

She knows I did this testing regularly.  And since she has been here, we both go twice a year for blood work at huge health fairs.  We go again Friday morning.  Mostly concerned about cholesterol, etc., and PSA for me, but they check for about 30 things.  Super good deal at $30 each.  If ordered separately by a physician, these various tests would be well over $300.

[ML]

Tell her the guys here appreciate hearing her point of view.

I will.