Russian funerals

[lordtiberius]

Why open caskets?

[mendeleyev]

That is a question I'd like to answer, LT.

It has roots both in cultural traditions and religious practices. Whether Christian or Muslim the practice is very common in the Eastern world. Jewish tradition forbids open caskets.

For the Orthodox, we believe that the human body is holy, created in the image of God. Hopefully, we have lived our lives in a manner that would bring honour to our bodies, as this is a command of our Lord. "I implore you therefore, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service" (Romans 12:1).

The practice of an open casket is a form of connection between the departed, and the living. Few things are so moving and memorable as when at burial the casket is covered, thus symbolizing the fact that we will not see this person again until the resurrection. The human body, made by the creator, is not something to hide or "sweep under the rug" at death; instead it is the dwelling, the human house, that sheltered the immortal soul of the departed. "Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit?" (ICor. 6:19).

We also understand that only a part of our beloved died, the body. The soul is still alive and will be reunited with the resurrected body on the day of the Lord. That is why we avoid cremation (unless from some accident), and in general we do not spend excess to shield the body from natural decay. Where you will see Russians spend money is on the memorials, the gravestones, etc, because this is a tribute to not only the memory, but to the coming time when those bodies will be raised.

Of course there are reasons for closed-casket services. Sometimes it is the personal choice of the family, and at other times perhaps the cause of death resulted in disfigurement (fires, horrific accidents, etc).

At points during the funeral liturgy, the body is censed (with incense) by the clergy. At the end of the service, loved ones and friends give the deceased a final kiss. It is customary to kiss the forehead, the hand, and the icon that is placed over the decease's chest. As part of the Orthodox funeral, sometimes a paper chaplet is placed on the forehead of the departed. Just as the bride and groom wear crowns and are "crowned" in a wedding ceremony, this paper or cloth "crown" represents the Christian crown of victory--signaling to those present that this person has come to the end of life and looks forward to receiving the crown of victory at the resurrection and judgment.

At burial, before the casket is closed and the body lowered into the ground, the priest reads a prayer of absolution, and then places a copy of that prayer in the hands of the departed. As the body is lowered those present toss a single flower and handful of dirt onto the casket, symbolizing their participation in the final respects for their loved one.

We offer condolences by expressing, "May his/her memory be eternal." We say that because we believe in eternal life.

[mendeleyev]

You may have observed some of these things at the recent viewing and funeral/burial of Boris Nemtsov. His viewing was more conventional in a religious neutral setting as his wide net of associations included many of several faiths, and also many of those who practice no faith.

His funeral service at the burial site however, was decidedly more Orthodox, as that was the faith to which he had converted.

An additional note about his funeral: because he was not a regular practicing Orthodox Christian, for he seldom went to confession, or took communion, and he lived openly with women who were not his wife, even if his family had desired, he would not have been given a full funeral liturgy in a church. In his case, many of his family are Jewish and for those and other reasons I doubt that he would have wanted to have put them through a full church liturgy anyway.

[mendeleyev]

Additional reading on Russian Orthodox funerals can be found here:

http://www.uocc.ca/en-ca/faith/articles/faithandspirituality/funeral.asp

http://www.funeralwise.com/customs/christ_orthodox/

http://www.deathwithdignity.org/2014/03/25/russian-funerals-black-bread-and-vodka

http://www.orthodoxresearchinstitute.org/articles/liturgics/oca_funerals.htm

[lordtiberius]

Are there wakes?

[mendeleyev]

Do you mean home viewings, or a period of viewing in a funeral establishment?

Yes, and there was an extended viewing of Boris at the Sakharov Centre.

In a typical Orthodox home with a non-celebrity, there is the tradition of home visits. In some cases during the last 24 hours there is someone (s) reading prayers and Scriptures continually until time for the body to be taken to the church for the funeral liturgy. Often that task is shared by a priest, deacons, and lay readers.

[Anotherkiwi]

Do you mean home viewings, or a period of viewing in a funeral establishment?

Yes, and there was an extended viewing of Boris at the Sakharov Centre.

In a typical Orthodox home with a non-celebrity, there is the tradition of home visits. In some cases during the last 24 hours there is someone (s) reading prayers and Scriptures continually until time for the body to be taken to the church for the funeral liturgy. Often that task is shared by a priest, deacons, and lay readers.

No, mendy, he means a great big party after the funeral - patented by the Irish, and copied by everyone else!

[mendeleyev]

Ah ha! Thank you, AnotherKiwi.

It might not be a wild party as one can imagine of the Irish, but family and friends often gather after the burial at the family home to enjoy what is called a "mercy meal." Staples include kaska and blini. A glass of vodka, covered with a slice of black bread, is set out as a tribute to the departed.

In most cases, the spirit is allowed to roam the earth for 40 days, mirroring the time of wandering in the desert, and from the time of his resurrection to the 40th day when Jesus ascended into heaven. On the 40th day, a special service is held and then family and friends return to the home to have a celebration meal to honour the life of the departed.

On the 40th day, family members clear the grave site of flowers and many leave a slice of bread and bottle or glass of vodka for the spirit. If you visit a cemetery you will see little table stands for this purpose, and often a stool or bench for the spirit to rest.


(Table and stool are highlighted in red.)

Each year on the anniversary of the death, some families repeat this tradition of vodka and bread for the departed.



This tradition is discouraged by the Orthodox Church as the spirit is no longer wandering the earth. Some of you may have read my story, "Soldiers in the Cemetery" from some years back.

We should note that some souls, such as that of Joseph Stalin, are often still considered to be roaming the earth. That 40 day time is for the departed to visit places they lived, and re-experience important times in their lives. In the case of a mass murderer like Stalin, his soul may be banished from the eternal and left to wander, and be forced to contemplate the multitude of sins committed during his life. I have written an article, "Stalin's Ghost," about my personal experiences in Russian homes where chairs and stools are still reserved in case the no-good sorry SOB wanders by.

At home, normally the stools or chairs that held the casket are turned over to discourage the departed spirit from returning. It is not uncommon that later, some families will designate a chair, unused by everyone else, in case the wandering spirit wants to return for a visit. On that 40th day, most belongings are either burned or donated and must not remain in the home. In the 40th day service, called a "panihida," the priest intones a solemn message to the departed, saying "we bid farewell to you, no longer come to us, for on the day of resurrection we will come to you."

After the burial, a glass of water and piece of bread in placed on the home's icon corner, or in many rural settings it is set on a window sill, as tribute to the departed for the first 40 days. For those 40 days some homes set out an extra plate for the departed at mealtime.

[mendeleyev]

There is a political aspect to this burial mystery, and while most Russians will deny that it is political, in reality it is. That concept is this:

- Where an ethnic Russia has been buried, that place is now hallowed, and Russians (and Russia), are responsible to protect that sacred geographical area.

- You see that played out in the Baltic states, and in Poland, where Russians believe that non-Russians have desecrated Russian graves (or memorial statues). Most of us would be offended, but to the mysterious Russian soul, this is an offense that is magnified thousands of times and deserves a harsh, and possibly even a military, response.

- Listen carefully to Mr. Putin's comments on the sacred places of Ukraine. Those who do not understand the concept simply dismiss it as him prattling on about some ancient time. Believe me, he isn't prattling to those who are attuned. His message on these topics resonates deeply to ethnic Russians, and helps explain why some young army recruits are willing to cross the border and fight to "defend the homeland." They believe that it is not a separate country, but part of their historic birthright and the graves of ethnic Russians there validates their thinking.

[lordtiberius]

I am told in Poland there are unkept cemeteries for Bean soldiers.

[mendeleyev]

Although there are cemetery "associations" in many larger cities, generally it is the families who are responsible for the upkeep of cemetery plots. Sometimes volunteers will clean small church cemeteries a couple times per year.

Some cemeteries grow wild and unkept as the years pass by.

Mrs. M and I go twice a year to her father's gravesite. We clean it and lay fresh flowers, or plant a live flower in the spring.

[lordtiberius]

It should have said German soldiers not Bean soldiers

[mendeleyev]

Earlier in the thread I mentioned an article that I'd written about Stalin's Ghost. Here it is:

Stalin's Ghost.

I met up with Stalin's ghost a few months after moving to Moscow. No, he wasn't roaming around in empty attics looking for a home. It seems that Stalin already has a home. He has quite a few homes in fact, all over Russia. Neither does he possess just homes, but the ole boy has furniture; chairs, beds, tables, books, token empty coat racks, and at least one piano stool that I know of, can be found reserved in waiting for the old man to stop by for a midnight visit.

Stalin was somewhat of a ghost even in real life. His practice was to rise in early afternoon, and then work for 12-14 hours without stopping, while fully expecting his aides and government ministers to maintain the same sort of schedules. This was his routine even during the war. He easily fit the profile of a "night owl."

Even in real life, Stalin was somewhat of a mystery ghost. Terrified of being poisoned, his house staff prepared separate but identical meals in at least two kitchens, never knowing which meal he would choose to eat. When he traveled, even as a guest, his staff brought food along, and it was checked by a taster first.

However, the very same man who feared the Russian people would murder him, and surrounded himself with security details by day, would sometimes at night don a disguise and sneak out to walk the streets of Moscow alone, frequently knocking on doors and inviting himself in to sit and eat and drink tea with unsuspecting, not to mention terrified ordinary citizens, who weren't fooled in the least by his disguises. Such adventures were legendary and have contributed greatly to the idea of "Stalin's Ghost."

In Russian tradition, upon death a soul remains behind for 40 days, visiting former living places to make amends for any wrongdoing and waiting for prayers of relatives and friends to usher the soul over to the "other side." By my calculations, God must have given him one hell (pun intended) of a long waiting period....because the old boy is apparently still lurking around Russia to this day.

About four months into my arrival in Moscow, I moved from my first place and rented a furnished apartment in which the landlord had designated a chair to be permanently reserved for the old dictator's spirit. She, a well educated attorney, listed in the rental contract the one piece of furniture that I was prohibited from using. It was an antique rocking chair which sat in the living room area. I really did not take the idea of the chair being reserved for Stalin very seriously, thinking instead that she simply wanted to preserve the chair. Later I would learn that she was quite serious when it came to Stalin's ghost.

My first really direct experience with "Stalin's ghost" came in the small two room apartment of an now-retired Moscow University professor. Until recently, she co-hosted a weekly radio program on Voice of Russia Radio. Having been invited into her home, I was awed by a grand piano that sat prominently in the center of a small living area. It was a beautiful instrument, and so important to this lady that she slept on a narrow cot in her kitchen area, so that the piano could have center stage in her home.

She motioned for me to take a seat in the corner of the living room, near a window by a foldout table. There we sipped tea and ate some of the chocolate that I had brought as a gift. By the way, Russian hearts must be made at least partly of chocolate, as it is a gift that is always perfect for any occasion. After enjoying about a half hour of conversation, she stepped into her kitchen to brew hot water for another round of tea.

Now I know a little something about pianos, and could tell that this was not just her personal museum piece, but one that was masterfully played by the hostess. So, almost without thinking, I decided to take the keys for a brief spin. As I stepped toward the console, and about to sit on a little round piano stool, the hostess suddenly rushed from the kitchen to stop me in my tracks. 

With a frantic gaze she pulled me back from the stool. Realizing that it would have been better to ask permission first, I apologized. "Oh, it is okay," she said, explaining that I could play the instrument, but it was very important to take a hand and gently brush off the stool just in case it was occupied. 

Occupied? Yes, occupied. By Stalin's ghost. Mr Stalin could have been sitting there, and naturally (hmm, 'naturally?"), a ghost would be invisible, so it was only polite to give him a gentle "brush off."

Glancing in her direction, there was no hint of a smile or twinkle in the eyes. She was serious. Standing there was a well educated University professor, and international radio hostess, who sincerely believed it necessary to brush off a piano stool in case the ghost of old man Stalin might have been sitting there.

Her professorial instincts took over, and soon she had demonstrated the proper technique to brush off the stool. After Stalin's ghost had been given the appropriate gentle brush off, she indicated that I should sit down and play. She returned to the kitchen to prepare the next serving of tea and bread.

There in her living area, I played as best as a novice could manage. The console held a nice collection of sheet music, and so it seemed that were it not possible to suffocate Mr Stalin by sitting on his ghost, at least it would be fairly easy to murder a thoroughly good score by Rachmaninoff. That should count for something.

When she returned from the kitchen, I couldn't resist.  Even though she held a teapot filled with hot water, I worked up the courage to ask, "how often does Mr Stalin come by to play?" No response. So I tried another; "Is he a good pianist? I was not aware that he had studied music." There was still no word of reply.

With a nod of the head toward the corner, she indicated that we should return to our places at the table. The thought crossed my mind that perhaps I should pick Stalin's ghost from the floor, and return him to the stool, but prudence suggested it best to resist that temptation.

"Let's return to intelligent and pleasant conversation," was the hostess' admonition.  After a few minutes it was almost as if the ghost incident had never happened. I left that afternoon having made a new contact which would grow into a friendship, and she has graciously received my family into her home many times. We do not, however, sit on the little black piano stool.

Since that afternoon I have listened to her from time to time on International Voice of Russia broadcasts. Her English, accented by a British education, is flawless. She is a brilliant and interesting woman; a joy to engage in conversation. But the image of Josef Stalin's ghost on her piano stool is hard to erase.

At least now I know how to give old Josef the "brush off." Sadly, the millions who died at his command were never afforded the same opportunity.