Dating website question

[nic80b]

I have a (probably stupid) question to ask you all:

Is there one (not two, just one...) dating website where men AND women pay a fee to get in touch one with the other, as 100% of the sites i have been browsing so far are free for women, and expensive for men, or eventually free for both?

I believe this would be the key to avoid (90%) of the fake profiles.
It doesnt need to be expensive, or the same amount for men and women, accordingly with their income or country standards.
i think it would make sense to:
- ensure men AND women are serious in looking for a partner
- involve the ladies in actively seeking, not just baiting and waiting for mr superman to eventually show up
- stop a large amount of scammers at the gate, at least the smaller ones
- bring back confidence for foreign men seriously involved, as well as fsu women, knowing that both parts are on an equal footing

I never understood why men always need to pay for every little thing when it is about dating. Women are also able and proud to afford such expenses, don't you think?
The market is totally spoiled because of money: everywhere, everybody talks about "scams", "baits", "pro daters", "escorts", "mafia" and so on, but rarely talks about success stories (at least out of RWD), about successful marriages and meetings. As a result, most foreign men prefer to spend there time and money taking some risks in dating on their own, travelling on their own, and eventually finding the right partner on their own.
It is clear that a service (webhosting, developping, checking, translating, matchmaking etc...) cannot be free of charge, but why not sharing the costs? Is it that complicated or should we just stick to our old fashioned cultural education saying that "men propose, women dispose"?
In such case, we will never get rid of the old function diagram pretending that men are leading the court, and women are some kind of subdued objects.

Thanks for your help.

[Larry1]

I have a (probably stupid) question to ask you all:

Is there one (not two, just one...) dating website where men AND women pay a fee to get in touch one with the other, as 100% of the sites i have been browsing so far are free for women, and expensive for men, or eventually free for both?

The only such website I know of, at least focused on FSU, is mamba.ru. It's free, but you can pay a tiny fee if you would like some additional features.

I never understood why men always need to pay for every little thing when it is about dating. Women are also able and proud to afford such expenses, don't you think?

There is a different dating culture in FSU than in Western countries. The guy is expected to pay the costs of dating. So it's wise to never suggest to the girl to split the bill in a restaurant.

[LiveFromUkraine]

I never understood why men always need to pay for every little thing when it is about dating. Women are also able and proud to afford such expenses, don't you think?
The market is totally spoiled because of money: everywhere, everybody talks about "scams", "baits", "pro daters", "escorts", "mafia" and so on, but rarely talks about success stories (at least out of RWD), about successful marriages and meetings. As a result, most foreign men prefer to spend there time and money taking some risks in dating on their own, travelling on their own, and eventually finding the right partner on their own.
It is clear that a service (webhosting, developping, checking, translating, matchmaking etc...) cannot be free of charge, but why not sharing the costs? Is it that complicated or should we just stick to our old fashioned cultural education saying that "men propose, women dispose"?
In such case, we will never get rid of the old function diagram pretending that men are leading the court, and women are some kind of subdued objects.

Thanks for your help.

Nic, most guys say they go to FSU because the women are more traditional.  I don't know why you are going but traditional normally means the guy pays for the dates.   You also have to remember that women don't enjoy the same employment rights as in the west. Many don't make enough money to pay for half of everything. 


As for money screwing up the dating market, it can be a blessing for you.  Those are the types of women you more than likely wouldn't want as a wife.  Let the guys who try to buy their women and the women that put themselves up for sale be together and focus on the women that can't be bought. 

[2tallbill]

I never understood why men always need to pay for every little thing when it is about dating.

Life isn't fair. We don't get pregnant, menstruate or have to sleep with bigger,
smellier, hairier versions of ourselves. I'll take my lot in life anytime over theirs.

 

[nic80b]

Life isn't fair. We don't get pregnant, menstruate or have to sleep with bigger,
smellier, hairier versions of ourselves. I'll take my lot in life anytime over theirs.

So true 

2tallbill, or "the art to keep one's feet on the ground"... 

[BillyB]

I believe this would be the key to avoid (90%) of the fake profiles.
It doesnt need to be expensive, or the same amount for men and women, accordingly with their income or country standards.

The best way to attract male paying customers is to get a lot of women to show up. If one business tries to get women to pay when 9 other competitors are letting women sign up free on their sites, who do you think will go out of business?

I never understood why men always need to pay for every little thing when it is about dating. Women are also able and proud to afford such expenses, don't you think?

It would also be nice to have a woman to cut my grass, fix my car and home, take out the garbage and chop wood for the winter. Actually I don't want a woman who's into everything equal. Everybody has a role and I prefer the man to pay for the date. If you don't change your opinion, you will have a hard time finding an FSU woman to pay for half the date.

[nic80b]

I think you all misunderstood my question.

i was not asking if men and women HAD to pay half half for the WHOLE dating process, or even in their daily life, i asked about the website dating fees, nothing more nothing less... knowing that a website is mostly the first step to know each other, i think that each one paying a fee, would be psychologically much like a mutual consent to commit into a relationship, because of the material investment.

of course, we all know that websites are free for women just to keep the number, and that if a website had such "sharing fee" process nowadays, it would probably not last very long.
but this was just a question, to discuss the viability of such structure. There are no hidden questions behind.

Now if YOU guys, want to pay the restaurant, the shopping expenses, the car, mow the grass, empty the bin etc... and the woman to stay at home cookkng, cleaning, growing kids... and being dependant of the man's wealthyness when she wants or need to pay for something, this is just your OWN point of view.

as for me, i also pay for everything, not because i feel guilt or because of culture, but because i like to see my woman happy. If she wants to share, or even pay the restaurant or else, i will try to steal the bill from her hand, but if she insists, i will let her do, there are no such stupid rules, pretending that a woman cannot pay anything, or feel bad about paying for something.

so please do not slide the original topic to such kind of greediness, or cheapy thoughts.
Thank you.

apparently a stupid question, though.

[BillyB]

knowing that a website is mostly the first step to know each other, i think that each one paying a fee, would be psychologically much like a mutual consent to commit into a relationship, because of the material investment.

Paying a fee to use a website should only be thought of as a right to use the site. Sometimes men invest $5000 to visit a woman and it pressures them to make a relationship happen. It's not wise for men to go on a first date thinking the money he invested should lead to marriage.

[TagUrIt898]

Fdating.com is completely free for both men and women.  If I could comment on your post.  I get what you're saying about men having to pay for almost everything and yes it's a huge standard to adhere to.  It's been this way for years and probably mostly because men have (generally) always earned more money than women.  I've talked to many women about dating and the expenses they endure to look their best for us, yeah it kinda balances out to an extent.  I'm not saying it's true for all cases, but most of the time.  Men are supposed to be MEN, that's our job to provide and hunt.  In todays times, we don't have to go out hunt and kill our food.  Women have always been the gatherers and preparers.  It's in our genetic make-up to have the roles we have.  I'm not saying they are not exceptions to the rule, personally I'm more than okay with the way things are.  If you have a good woman, she will want to take care of you in everyway she can.  Which means sometimes treating you to a meal or sometimes treating you to other things.   Just my .02

Tag

[msmobyone]

Fdating.com is completely free for both men and women.

+1

How I found Svietik.Coral

It seems to be attractive to FSU people living all over the world.

[nic80b]

Paying a fee to use a website should only be thought of as a right to use the site. Sometimes men invest $5000 to visit a woman and it pressures them to make a relationship happen. It's not wise for men to go on a first date thinking the money he invested should lead to marriage.

Yes, i get you. Spending a lot does not mean having results, at least we should not have such requirements. If so, there are professionnals who know how to turn your cash into profit, no prob.
as you said, paying is like a key to open the door, but you still need to figure out what you are going to do in the room you just entered.
i mostly see paying option (on a website, again), as a way to be sure about your motivations, a protection regarding your personnal datas, and a way to avoid most spoilers. I don't make any difference between men and women about this paying "act", except that men are, perhaps, more enclined to pay for such kind of services, than women. Is it because of this human behaviors (genetic role), as Tagurlt898 said? Probably. Human is still an animal after all.

I had a look at mamba.ru, i really like the interface, the site is very powerful and easy to use, and it's almost free! Wow, what a challenge.
i still need to look at fdating.

In any case, i think i still prefer the membership paying websites like EM, because of its reputation, and all the reasons previously explained.
even if i meet a lady who is not serious or interested with me, at least all the others will understand i am (seriously involved).
registering a totally free website is ok as long as you know what you are doing, and where you make your move.
getting some help aside (forums, friends, pros, litterature), is also a good help to be successful, or at least increase chances to reach the goal.

As for me, i am reading a lot, maybe too much , and i have a personnal professional coach who helps me when i have doubts or when i am lost.
i move on my own, i rent appartments when travelling more than a few days, and i get local services on my own (flight, driver, apartment, food, phone, translator, etc). I never expect to have sex, even if i had once with a very hot lady really willing to learn about me... and i always enjoy my trips on the cultural side.
this quest is not free, quite expensive sometimes, but their is no price when it is about finding the love of your life.
this said, i wish good luck to all of you still seeking for your half.
The path may be long, life is not.
regards. Marc.