Vladivostok - Trip Report

[Muckraker]

Vladivostok - trip report

Vladivostok - Day One

I left Moscow on a snowy December night heading to Vladivostok via Aeroflot. Ten hours later, I landed at the Vladivostok airport and I found myself walking down stairs wheeled up to the plane’s exit door, wondering what on earth I was doing. She had written to me six months earlier via Anastasiaweb, and we had been corresponding and speaking on the telephone consistently since that time (she speaks English). About three months into our correspondence we had decided it would be good to meet, to see if there would be any “sparks” in person. Although many men had been writing to her, none of them had ever talked about visiting - they were simply writing for “entertainment” - as she put it. She is 23, I am 35. Neither of us had ever been married or had children. She was the first and only Russian girl I had ever corresponded with, let alone gone to meet.

Along with the other passengers, I boarded a bus that was parked next to the plane, and proceeded to the terminal building. It was cold. I realized I needed a hat - badly. I was dismayed at the fact that I could not find a flower shop at the departure terminal of SVO1, I should have picked some up when I arrived at SVO2. There were no other foreigners on the bus. I was wearing a black three-button business suit and a black overcoat. We got off the bus, and moved as a group towards an opening in a metal fence. As soon as I passed single file through the opening, ten guys approached me with “Taxi” invitations. “Nyet, Nyet, Nyet, Nyet”.

I walked passed them, distracted. I heard - “Muck!!” - I looked up, and she was in front of me.

And she was truly beautiful.

I recognized her instantly from the pictures she had sent to me. “Oxana!” - I was taken aback, all I could do was hug her, and then look into her beautiful green eyes that were complemented by her amazing smile. We just looked at each other, smiling and giggling like little kids, for what seemed like a few minutes. A guy walked up to us with “Taxi?” and we simultaneously said “Nyet” without breaking our stare from each other. It was one of those minutes I will remember my whole life.

I came back to Earth, and asked if she had any problems with the car to the airport. The car was waiting for us, but we had to wait for the luggage to be transported to the baggage terminal building. We chit-chatted for about half and hour, in the cold, as the baggage terminal was locked. She was worried about my lack of a hat, I was pretending it was no problem, and that I always went without a hat in -15C weather. Everyone else on the plane was also standing around with us, bundled up against the cold, heads covered with fur, and I was definitely conspicuous. I haven’t seen so many fur coats in one place in my life either.

I got my luggage, and we headed for the car. Her friend Marsha was driving, who was also the daughter of the local agency owner where Oxana wrote to me. I was in the back seat with Oxana. Marsha was a cardiologist by profession, who also had a side business performing acupuncture and taxi services, and one of only four women in Russia who raced cars in some kind of professional racing program. She told Oxana that I was “beautiful” and these two were talking with each other in Russian like two girls at prom after Brad Pitt arrived stag. My ears were burning, and it wasn’t from the potential frostbite. This American guy had actually showed up in Vladivostok to meet just one girl.

On the forty-five minute drive to the city center, I looked around at all the buildings. Drab, run down, in bad repair. The girls asked why I was so interested in looking at such buildings, finding it a peculiar activity. Marsha was an amazing driver, I was comforted by the fact she also raced cars. We arrived at the Hotel Hyundai, said goodbye to Marsha, and checked in. I asked to have my visa registered, which I would pick up later that afternoon. I was careful to tell them that I needed my passport back quickly because I needed to exchange funds.

We headed to my room. On the way to the room, we walked down a long carpeted hallway. Our hands touched, and a HUGE spark of static electricity passed between us. Now, we had been talking about whether there would be a “spark” between us when we met for months, so this event was rather spectacular. When I explained to her that it was because we had been rubbing our feet on the carpet, she was confused. She had never heard of such a thing. Sparks come from magic and romance. I started to explain further, then I developed a brain and agreed it was a special moment between us.

She waited at the entrance of the door to my room. I told her to come in, and together we looked at the room. It was about 1pm Vladivostok time, and I had already told her I was not tired and wanted to spend some time with her today. Truth was I felt exhausted from my journey, having flown continuously since San Antonio - Chicago - Frankfurt - Moscow - Vladivostok, but I was just too excited to sleep. She said the room was very nice, but that now she would go to the lobby and wait for me as I took a shower. I sensed that she was uncomfortable being in my hotel room with me, so I agreed. I quickly took a shower, changed my clothes, and went to the lobby to meet her.

I picked her up in the lobby, and we headed into the hotel café -“Café Rendezvous”- where we sat and ordered ice cream and hot chocolate and talked and talked and talked.

Now, looking back, I will have to say that I was quite an oaf, manners-wise. I did not help her off with her coat, or pull her chair out for her. I had known about all of this, but when the time came, I simply forgot.

She reiterated her concern about my lack of a hat, so we decided to go look for one. We left the hotel cafe, and walked down to a series of stores close to the hotel. It involved my first experience in crossing the street in Vladivostok, and an instruction about the dangers of expecting cars to slow down for you. They apparently won’t. We held hands, and after crossing a few streets, I had the hang of it, and started taking the lead. One of the keys is to watch the locals - cross when they cross. Except one time I was watching and waiting for this guy to take the lead and cross, but after five minutes we realized he was waiting on us to cross. I would recommend before anyone goes to Vladivostok to go down to your closest interstate and practice crossing.

We checked out a series of stores, and found a gangsta-style black ski hat in a store that sold Italian clothes. The saleslady was very careful to adjust the hat so the “Made in Italy” label sewn to the front faced forward so everyone on the street could see it. Oxana and I laughed about this kind of behavior, and I unflapped the hat to cover the label once I got outside. I realized how valuable little things like this can be when trying to get to know someone. Her legs were getting cold, she wasn’t wearing stockings, and I teased her about not dressing properly just as she had teased me earlier about not thinking to bring a hat. We went back to the hotel, and headed to the top floor to check out Sky Bar.

Sky Bar at the top floor of the Hotel Hyundai turned out to be our “special” place. It was a really nice bar with a stage for a band that was advertised to start at 9pm every night. It was not at all crowded; there were a series of comfortable chairs and couches with little tables where you could sit and talk, and plenty of waitresses to take your order. Panoramic windows along the walls gave a nice view of the city lights. The reason it was not crowded? It was extremely expensive! But the ambiance was worth every penny. We sat and talked, ordered the world’s smallest Bailey’s Irish Cream I have ever seen - seriously, it was a glass with four millimeters of Irish Cream at the bottom, and that was with a hunk of ice in it. I think we also ordered ice cream or maybe some blinis with caviar. At 9 pm, a big Russian guy took the stage and starting setting up some equipment. Promptly at 9:17pm, two attractive girls took the stage, fired up some kind of CD player for the background music, and started singing popular American songs, with English lyrics. These girls did not speak English, they were just parroting the words, with their own special style. It was hilarious. The girls were singing about boogers that were woogering. The big Russian guy was playing along with an electric drum set.

An older couple started dancing together. I asked Oxana if this was typical Russian dancing, because I certainly hadn’t seen this style before. The man was really drunk, but otherwise, yes. I asked her if she would teach me Russian dancing, and we practiced together. She was doing some kind of really fast dance steps - like a waltz but really, really fast, with a twirling deal thrown in at some point. I told her I wanted to learn these steps and to teach me slowly. I held her really close. She smiled at me, and we practiced a few times. She would tell me later that she was glad to know that I really liked her, which was obvious to her from my “excitement” that she felt. We sat back down eventually, when the “band” had stopped playing.

I told Oxana to close her eyes as I took a $20 from my wallet in my overcoat, and then went up to the Russian guy and asked him if he knew a Russian song by the same name as Oxana’s (not her real name, by the way). He said he knew the song, but could not play it because he did not have the CD for the backup. So, I knew Oxana loved the movie “Titanic” so I asked about the theme song by Celine Dion. The girls squealed! Da! Da!

I sat back down with Oxana, the girls belted out the Titanic theme song, this time with perfect lyrics. They had obviously practiced this one in front of the mirror for years. Oxana was simply floored. She smiled, and smiled and smiled. It was, honestly, the beginning of the something special between us.

Her mobile phone started ringing. Her father was asking about when she might be getting home. It was time to get her home. First we went to my hotel room downstairs, because I had a present to give to her. She wanted to wait outside my hotel room door, as I retrieved a cashmere scarf I had brought for her. I asked and she promised not to open the present until she got home. We went to the lobby, ordered a taxi, and I went with her to her apartment building. Again, being the oaf that I truly was, I simply hopped out of the taxi, gave her a hug, and left her to walk to the door of her building alone. In my own defense, at this point, I had not slept in over 50 hours, and things were starting to get a little foggy. She had promised to meet me at the hotel at 12 pm the next day. I went back to the hotel, and slept like a baby.

Muckraker

[Muckraker]

Vladivostok - trip report

Vladivostok - Day Two

My hotel room phone rang at 10 am, as ordered, and awoke me from a deep sleep. It took me a few moments to wake up, but then I leapt out of bed to check out the view from my window. I had a view of the bay, with ships docked at port. Cars outside were busily making their way around, honking their horns furiously. The weather was sunny and dry. This city had been dubbed the “Naples of Russia” - and having lived in Naples, Italy for three years, I thought it was an appropriate characterization. It was the first chance I had to think about the events of the previous day. I was definitely physically attracted to Oxana (whew!). Everything the previous day had gone well. I had arrived safely and was settled in for the week. Now it was time to really get to know her, to determine if the compatibility I had felt through the hundred letters and dozen phone calls would flush out in reality. I had started to wonder how she felt about me so far. I had told her in our correspondence that I did not expect any kind of intimate physical relationship, to which she expressed her understanding. I did not want that to cloud my judgment (she would later tell me that this statement had been the cause of some concern for her, because it made her wonder what kind of girl I thought she was in the first place). But up to this point there was no definitive physical sign of her affection for me. She had described herself as a shy girl, so I was not too worried though.

I waited in the lobby, after having checked out the hotel a bit more. A flower shop, jewelry store, travel agent, Korean restaurant, and tourist shop were located downstairs, as well as a large internet and mobile phone company. Oxana arrived promptly at 12pm, wearing a beautiful fur coat, with the scarf I had given her proudly draped around her neck. The sheer size of the fur coat left me wondering whether a hug would even work. While I hesitated, she injected “Thank you for the scarf!!” and was obviously very pleased with it. I was again struck by how pretty she was. I wanted to kiss her, but in the middle of a busy hotel lobby, I just wasn’t sure how she would react. I asked her if she was hungry, she responding by asking if I was hungry - I took her arm and we entered Café Rendevous off the hotel lobby. This time, I helped her with her coat and her chair, and we had coffee and cake. The place didn’t have pastry or other breakfast-type bread, something that I could only find in one café the whole time I was in Vladivostok. We talked and talked again. We never had any problems talking on the phone, we both shared each other’s records for longest phone call with someone, and it was no different in person. But seeing her smile and the twinkle in her eyes distracted me quite a bit more. During our correspondence, we had discussed the local attractions based on a Lonely Planet guide I had purchased. We agreed to go visit the Aquarium today, and she also wanted to take me down to the waterfront. On the way out of the hotel, I asked her if she should get a taxi. She rejected the idea, stating that the aquarium was just a short walk away.

Shortly after leaving the hotel on foot, a lady stopped Oxana and told her she had lost her new scarf. Oxana had been proudly wearing the scarf outside her fur coat, and it had slipped off at some point. I ran back a couple of blocks, but it was gone. I could tell Oxana was upset, and I didn’t want her to think that I was upset with her at all, so I made light of it. No big deal, some lucky person found a Versace scarf on the street. Oxana said they wouldn’t even know it was a real Versace because so much fake stuff is sold everywhere. She cheered up anyway, by the time we watched some goofy men playing soccer on a concrete school playground.

After our short thirty minute walk from the hotel in sub-zero temperatures, we arrived at the Aquarium. She ordered two tickets, but the attendant told her I needed a foreigner ticket. Oxana said I looked too German, because of my blond hair and blue eyes. I told her I did not mind paying the tourist price at all, so just order Americansky tickets for me. The Aquarium was really great. First, it was warm. Second, they had these really big fish in tanks downstairs. When the fish died, they were moved upstairs and placed in jars of formaldehyde, or dried out, painted, and put on display. We were enjoying each other’s company, looking at everything together. On the way out, I stopped by the gift shop, and bought a really beautiful matryoshka doll for my cousin.

We walked down to the waterfront, and Oxana told me that during the warmer months it was filled with people, swimming at the beach, and enjoying the services of the many kiosks that are set up. At night during the summer, many young people congregate down here to meet each other, and there was a dance club nearby. The Sea of Japan was currently frozen 500 yards out from the shoreline. We continued our walking tour towards the Post Office, and then to the Marine Terminal. Inside, we stopped at a café and ordered coffee, trying to warm up. This place had the tiniest little napkins I have ever seen. What is it with small stuff in this town? I took a couple and put them in my wallet, telling Oxana I was going to show my friends back home what Russian napkins looked like. She was laughing and trying to convince me that these napkins were NOT typical Russian napkins. I dabbed the corners of my mouth with one of the napkins, which was about the size of a cracker if it was folded corner to corner. We were really having fun. Her smile was infectious - I wanted to see it more and more, especially when she was laughing.

We left the café, and checked out the stores in the Marine Terminal. Plenty of electronics stores. Prices were about the same as in the U.S., and there were plenty of people shopping. Downstairs were a bunch of guys playing the slot machines. I bought a voltage converter for a CD player I was going to give her that night - telling her it was for her surprise gift tonight. She simply loved my little surprises, she was smiling and her eyes were sparkling. I commented on how many fake guns were being sold, Oxana telling me that they were for scaring off would-be attackers. We left, deciding to go back to the hotel. I told her I wanted to take a taxi, not looking forward to hoofing it all the way back uphill on foot in dress shoes. She negotiated a price for a taxi, playing a couple of drivers off each other, and we took off. One can get anywhere in Vladivostok for 100 rubles - the standard deal according to Oxana. She got us a ride back to the hotel for 80 rubles. I told her that I would rather take taxis than walk, because I felt crossing the streets was simply too dangerous when taxis were so cheap. She seemed pleased, I don’t think she liked walking in the cold any more than I did, especially when the sidewalks (if there even was one) were in such bad condition you had to constantly look where you were going. I started to worry about her crossing these streets by herself.

In the taxi, we sat close to each other, and had a cozy talk. I gave the driver 100 rubles anyway, and went back into the hotel. I had told Oxana I wanted to try an authentic Russian restaurant, so we tried to check out the Russian restaurant in the hotel, but it was closed for renovations. We settled on going back to Café Rendezvous for dinner. We were both really hungry. This was going to be one of the more interesting dinners we would have together. As we walked in, the waitress directed us to a table. I instead directed Oxana towards a better table in the back - more private, more suitable for a romantic dinner. The waitress didn’t approve, I guessed because it meant she would have to walk farther to serve us. Oxana and I sat down, and started talking. The waitress eventually came over to take our order. Unfortunately, we hadn’t even looked at our menus, we were talking too much. The waitress was visibly ****ed, and stormed off. Now, Café Rendezvous is an overpriced place, dedicated primarily to the guests of the hotel. Like Sky Bar, it is mostly empty, with far more waitresses than customers. I was not impressed with the waitress’s attitude. Once again, Oxana and I were talking, and after about a half an hour, we had finally decided what we wanted to order. The waitress came over, took our order, looking like she had just drank a gallon of citric acid. Oxana said she was acting this way because she was jealous. Jealous? Apparently, the waitress was jealous of Oxana, sitting in Café Rendezvous with a foreigner, ordering a nice dinner, speaking English and laughing together. I doubted it. When our meal came, it became obvious Oxana was right. The waitress was visibly aggressive towards Oxana. It was my first realization that wherever we went together, the younger females acted a particular way towards her. It is hard to describe exactly, you just had to see it over and over again to understand it. Anyway, Oxana was giving the waitress “go to hell” looks, and the waitress left us alone to talk some more. The food was truly excellent. Oxana had ordered some shrimp that came in a really large pink half-shell, which Oxana thought was really cool. For dessert, I pulled out a small box of Godiva chocolates from my overcoat, and we shared them. Then I wrapped up the large pink half- shell and put it into my plastic bag. Later that night in my hotel room, I would soak the shell in the sink, scrub it with hotel shampoo, and draw stick figures of Oxana and I eating at the newly renamed “Café Rude”on the pearly white inner shell (she loves my stick figure drawings - they make her laugh). I thought maybe our waitress would get bent out of shape for stealing the shell (maybe they re-use the shell?) and I knew Oxana was fully prepared to go at it with this waitress if there was trouble, so I suggested we retire to the Sky Bar before the waitress came back.

Sky Bar was again wonderful, we talked and talked, and it was becoming clear that we were really clicking together. Her mobile phone rang - “We are simply talking” she would tell her mom, but it was time to get her home. Outside my hotel room door, I drew an imaginary line in the carpet as the point she was not permitted to cross, and went inside to get the CD player and four Celine Dion CD’s, and placed the transformer I had bought at the Marine Terminal with them. We ordered a taxi, and drove to her apartment building where her parents were waiting for her to get home. This time the taxi driver drove right up close to the door of her apartment building. Vladivostok at night is not a safe place - the closer you get to the front door the better. We were holding hands in the car, but I only hugged her when I said goodbye to her at the taxi. She went inside, agreeing to meet at the hotel at 12 pm the next day. I went back to the hotel, fixed up the half-shell, and watched some BBC. I started to wonder when I should press the physical contact issue. I knew from our correspondence that she was an incredibly romantic person, reading a romance novel every weekend, and primarily seeking a man with a romantic nature. We had never discussed during our correspondence anything that would happen past the initial “spark” - just what each of us was looking for in a partner. My gut was telling me that a guy that pushed the issue would not turn her on. She wanted a steady progression of learning about each other before any physical contact. She wanted to trust the guy, I felt. Anyway, I needed to know where we were heading, so I decided that the next day I would find out.

[Muckraker]

Vladivostok - trip report

Vladivostok - Day Three

Oxana arrived at the hotel at 12 pm, thanking me profusely for the CD player and the CDs. She simply loves Celine Dion. I hugged her warmly. Today we had decided to go check out the Submarine and the WWII memorial. The Submarine was WWII vintage, blocked on land, and you could go inside to check it out. She said it was just a short walk, so we made our way past a street market (I stopped to buy some Cyrillic children’s books for my cousin) and through a large square (the Square of the Fighters for Soviet Power in the Far East) with a statue of Stalin pointing towards something, except Oxana said it wasn’t a statue of Stalin, just some anonymous guy. It looked like Stalin though.

Half an hour later, we arrived at the Submarine. It was really cold out. The kind of cold where you start to wonder what the lowest operating temperature of your camera is. The WWII memorial was a black wall, with names of the war veterans from Vladivostok that died on it. In front of the wall was the Submarine. She commented that she hadn’t been through the submarine since she was a kid (the bulkhead portals were a lot smaller now) and that the periscope actually worked back then - it was rusted solid now. The most interesting things were the torpedoes - they had been cut away to show the mechanicals inside of them. I didn’t know they were so technical inside. Also the racks of bunks hanging from the ceiling were interesting. Lots of old WWII pictures of people inside too. Most of all, it was warm inside.

After that, we decided to go to the Gorky Theater, to check on getting tickets. I had told her I thought it would be nice to see a play, because I knew she loved to go to the theater. She said it was just a short walk away. Half an hour later, we arrived, frozen. The place was closed, but luckily the lobby was open, although nobody was there to sell tickets. We waited inside until we warmed up, checking out the available performances. I asked if we should get a taxi, but Oxana said it was just a short walk to the GUM department store that we were to check out next. I had read about the GUM in my Lonely Planet’s guide - described as large department store with a good selection of foreign goods. We started walking. About every ten minutes, we had to duck into a store to warm up, and pretend to be interested in purchasing their wares. This was actually a fun experience, stopping into these little places, and talking about the items we saw together. We ducked into a two-story place; it looked like a smaller sixties-era K-mart on the edge of going out of business. Inside, a little beggar boy started pestering us, asking us for money. I told him “Nyet” because Oxana had told me that if you give them money, others would start to bother you. The boy continued to pester us, even tugging at my pockets. I finally turned and told him “GO AWAY” after which another lady came over and told the boy to go away. It was a little bit embarrassing, because I would have loved to just give this kid 500 rubles so maybe he could eat or something. But, I knew from past experience in other countries what really happens if you do this. A shame, really. Anyway, we continued our journey outside. I asked Oxana if the GUM was close. She said we just left the GUM. Doh! So, the GUM was interesting, more for its starkness that for anything else. I would find out later there were much better department stores in Vladivostok.

Next, according to my Lonely Planet guide, we were heading towards the Arsenyev Museum. We walked and walked. We passed a travel agent, and Oxana commented that often they take money from people hoping to travel to the U.S., by promising special visa services. The apartment buildings we passed were really interesting - historical really, but in terrible condition. We ducked into a café, to warm up and get coffee. We sat down, and waited for about ten minutes, waiting for a waitress. A girl came over, and told us there were no waitresses, just to order from the counter. I walked ten feet over to the counter, ordered some coffee, they said it would be a little while. I sat back down. Five minutes later, they came over and told us the coffee was ready, so I went back to the counter and picked up our coffee, and sat back down. The girl came to the table and gave us some napkins. I really wondered what kind of system they had going here, but Oxana and I could only laugh about it. We talked about why a “tipping” scenario was not employed - and how this custom would be great, especially when they saw a foreigner. Anyway, it was actually another example of the “jealously” thing - as we drank our coffee, I noticed others were having their coffee brought to them right away.

We found the Museum, paid the entrance fee, and went inside, escaping from the cold. The Museum was interesting enough. Stuffed bear, stuffed leopard, stuffed birds, etc. Upstairs were various exhibits, none of which were really that fascinating, but they were O.K. Like I said, it was warm inside. I took a picture of Oxana standing next to a really great old motorcycle. The babushka sitting in the corner starting wailing about how pictures cost extra. Oxana told her we had already paid for pictures downstairs. On the way out of the exhibit, I suggested we take a picture of the babushka as a momento. Oxana gleefully agreed, but ultimately I chickened out, wishing I hadn’t brought it up. I would have paid the old lady, but Oxana wouldn’t have it. We decided to leave, having checked out all the exhibits. Oxana used her mobile phone to call for a taxi, but one would not be available for about half an hour. While waiting, I bought a really nice black lacquer box from the Museum gift shop. Oxana told me the back-story on the fairy tales represented on some of the matryoshkas. The Museum was closing, so we waited in the foyer, the taxi still had not arrived. It was getting dark outside, and as I said before, Vladivostok is not a safe place after dark. We called the taxi company; they weren’t too clear on when the taxi would be coming. I decided we needed to start walking back, before it got dark, and we could get a taxi on the way. We never did see an available taxi, and the traffic was so bad it was faster walking anyhow. We stopped into various shops to warm up, again, a fun activity, talking with each other about the various products we saw. It was evening, the shops and streets were busy as people were leaving their work, the lights were bright, and the stores were cozy and warm.

We made it into the Hotel Hyundai. We were both famished, so we decided to check out the Korean restaurant downstairs. It was virtually empty, save a few Korean and Japanese tourists. We ordered a platter of various types of Korean fare, and it was all authentic. She had an adventurous palette, despite the fact that all she really liked to eat was chocolate. We talked about all sorts of things. God she was beautiful. There was no doubt in my mind that she liked me and was attracted to me, I just didn’t know how to brooch the physical contact issue. I remembered what I had read about Russian girls thinking you were weird if you didn’t make a move on the first day. My gut was telling me Oxana was not the type of girl that wanted a guy she had barely met, trying to make a move on her. I felt like I was back in high school, unsure of myself, pressured by the rumors. We were definitely moving towards it though, slowly but surely, and I was enjoying the romance and the anticipation of it all. I had learned to trust my instincts, but.....I came here to see her..... I like her......she at least seemed to really like me.....so, what was the deal? And then what? If a kiss led to something more, would she be expecting a proposal? Was I ready for that?

We went to Sky Bar, as usual. We chatted for a bit, and then I took her hands, looked her in the eyes, told her that I really liked her, and that I thought everything was going great. She said that she really liked me as well, that she thought I had a romantic nature, and that she thought I was perfect. I told her that I wanted to come back in March, to stay for a month, to get to know each other better before we made any promises to each other. Her eyes and her big smile said it all. Da! It would be wonderful! After this, it seemed like the pressure was off. She was just as worried as I was about our expectations regarding commitment at this stage. I figured one serious conversation for today was enough, so I decided to leave the physical contact issue for tomorrow. I wondered whether the stories about the promiscuity of Russian women had any application to Oxana. I had been raised in a very strict Catholic household, but there had been Bad Behavior on my part with respect to the “no pre-marital sex aspect” of the faith. Certain remnants of it still remained though, and I recognized these same cues in Oxana’s character.

Oxana’s mobile phone rang as usual at 10 pm. Oxana’s father was wondering if Oxana had called the house, because the phone rang but nobody was on the line. It was code for “We are waiting for you to come home” - so we went to my hotel room, Oxana standing behind her imaginary line, while I retrieved some romantic movie videos, and the large half-shell with the stick figure drawing. I also included a big box of Godiva chocolates. We took a taxi to her house, and this time, I went inside the security door and walked her upstairs while the taxi waited. I had not been sure about this before, but I knew this day was going to be different. At the top of the stairs, I noticed her dad had welded a HUGE gate in front of the apartment door. Oxana told me the building manager had been really ****ed when he did this, but, her dad was gone six months of the year as a Chief Engineer on a transport ship, so he wanted to be sure his family was safe.

I kissed her. It was magic.

We kissed, and kissed, and kissed. If it wasn’t for the chance her dad would open the front door at any second, I think we would have kissed for hours. Anyway, I gave her a final kiss on the cheek, and told her I would be waiting in the hotel lobby for her at 12 pm. I took the taxi home, telling the driver “nye noshna duchie” as I was too excited to care about change. For the rest of my time in Vladivostok, I would be wondering if anti-Viagra existed, as “it” became a constant embarrassment whenever I was around her.

[Muckraker]

Vladivostok - trip report

Vladivostok - Day Four

Today we were going to go to the agency, to meet the owner and...... I didn’t know what else really. I knew Oxana was excited about this. She arrived promptly at 12 pm, thanking me profusely for the videotapes, and was laughing at how cute the half-shell drawing was. She presented me with a black lacquer box, and a box of chocolates, a gift from her parents. I was really surprised. This was a sign of acceptance by her parents, which spoke volumes about both what she was thinking and what she had been telling them. She told me she was holding the taxi, so we went to a new café that she thought would have bread-type pastry. She said it was supposed to be Western-inspired. The taxi dropped us off at Café Studio - which had a Hollywood theme decor. We ordered Mocha, but no pastry was available - just cake again. It was a trendy-chic place to be. It was time to head over to the agency, on foot, as it was nearby. First, however, we had to stop at a bakery to pick up a cake, to be brought with us to the agency. I suspected a full-blown tea party was afoot. We made our way to the agency. We entered a shabby building, up some stairs, through some doors, around some corners, through a dark hallway, and finally through a door. On this journey, several girls filed past us, notably more attractive than the usual girls on the street. The agency was well appointed and homey. A tropical poster hung on the wall, and an aquarium with a goldfish was in the corner. Several attractive girls were typing on older computers. Apparently, we were expected. A table had been prepared. Chocolates, tea, and the cake we brought were ceremoniously placed on the table. The agency owner (a lady in her forties), her son, a female translator, and another American with his fiancee was sitting at the table. Oxana and I took our places, and the talking began, in Russian. I have no idea what they were saying, but there was a lot of looking at me and then smiling and talking excitedly. I mostly talked to the other American, a really nice guy. I was asked to cut the cake, with a knife that obviously pulled double duty as the office tool. It was a full-blown tea party, and the Americans were the featured attraction. I watched the pretty girls that were sitting at the computers, typing away, and I wondered how often Oxana sat in the same place, hoping that some day I would be with her at this tea party. I realized this was a special moment in her life. Occasionally Oxana and the agency owner would sneak away to talk, I knew she was filling her in on details and getting advice, since she was aware that I could occasionally get the gist of conversations in Russian. The agency owner was her counselor, her guide throughout this process, the resident relationship expert. A shrewd businesswoman to be sure, but also a motherly figure that wanted success for her girls.

Eventually, the tea party was over, and it was time to leave. The agency owner told us that we were a perfectly matched couple, and commended me on my choice. I agreed. Oxana was especially bubbly; I knew that she just had a great time. She had presented me as her man to people she cared about, and everyone approved. I knew that this was the first stage - her parents were going to be next.

We left the agency, through the maze of corridors and hallways, and out onto the street. God it was cold outside! Oxana decided to take me to some places that weren’t in my Lonely Planet guidebook. We took a bus outside of the city center. The buses are old, but cheap - five roubles. You are expected to give your seat to ladies and the elderly. I noticed when we initially boarded the bus, Oxana rushed in front of some guy that was standing ahead of her. I asked her about this, she simply said it is expected that, because she is a girl, she can go first. Sure, but what about jumping in front of someone? “Normal - men expect this.” In fact, the guy didn’t miss a beat. The character of the city changed during the bus ride. It was now less urban, less glitzy. It was poorer. We went inside the shopping center. Now, this was a shopping center! Very modern, very nice. Western products all over the place. I noticed the Omega and Rolex watches were being sold at great prices. In the U.S., I had purchased a Swiss Army knife for Oxana’s father as a present. They were sold here also, at better prices, with a better selection. I bought a bottle of Givenchy perfume here; not telling Oxana it was secretly for her. Lots of funky, trendy clothes and shoes. Jewelry stores galore. There was a grocery store on the first floor. It was equivalent to a Western boutique grocery store - small, but with really great products. Prices on most goods were equivalent to the U.S. The place was bustling with shoppers, especially for a weekday. If the average salary was $80 a month, where were they getting money? Vladivostok is truly a city of contrasts.

We left the store, and decided to take a cab back to the hotel. We entered Café Rude for coffee. I decided it was time to approach the intimate contact issue. I started by asking her why she had been so uncomfortable in my hotel room that first day. She knew instantly where this conversation was going. After I danced around the issue, she said, “Muckraker, I have never slept with any of my boyfriends. I will not sleep with a man until he is my husband. I want to save that for only my husband.”

I couldn’t believe it.

I realized everything I had read on the Internet about dating Russian women simply didn’t apply to Oxana. My first thought was whether she was feeding me a line.

“Muckraker, don’t lawyer me about this. I have many friends that slept with their boyfriends, but I think that if a man is really serious, he will wait until they are married. My parents waited, and I think it is much better this way.”

My parents had waited too, married forty-five years now.

The thing is, I knew she was absolutely right; I just hadn’t met someone like her before. But how do you know you will be sexually compatible if you wait until your wedding night?

“Muckraker, you simply don’t understand. If two people love each other, they will be compatible.”

I could tell from the serious look in her eye this was high drama. Was I serious enough about her to wait? At the same time, I was relieved. It explained the intimacy issue that I had sensed totally. I realized she had thought about this issue her whole life, I had only thought about it for a few minutes. I didn’t want to say anything more until I had a chance to think about it.

We went to Sky Bar. We scooted our chairs closer towards each other, and held hands, looked into each other’s eyes, smiling and talking. We talked about my visit in March. We ate blinis and caviar. I couldn’t resist. I asked her if she ever had an orgasm.

“Muckraker, I am not a child.” She was disappointed in me. I was being an ass about this. If she had told me this before I left San Antonio, I still would have come. In fact I told her I wasn’t expecting it. But now, I was so attracted to her, I was starting to lose my perspective. I recalled someone had given the advice to come back to the U.S. and think about things for a while, before making any life changing decisions. It is good advice. The circumstances combined with the beauty and grace of this girl was intoxicating, and I wasn’t being myself.

It was a little bit awkward, but we got back into the swing of our regular conversation. We talked about what we would do the next day. She wanted me to come to her house for dinner, and visit with her parents. I was genuinely excited about this. I wanted to meet them, and although I had made sure to buy some presents, it was not definite that I would, in fact, meet them. It was an honor. I asked her to call her parents and let them know she was on her way home. We went to my room, and I dragged her playfully inside and kissed her for a little while. She eventually said we had to leave. Her convictions prevailed. She was a much stronger person than I could ever be. I gave her a few more romantic movie videos, but I completely forgot to give her the perfume. She thanked me profusely for the videos, since she really loved to watch these movies, and think about us watching them together someday, curled up on the sofa. We went downstairs, ordered a taxi, and I accompanied her up the stairs to her apartment. This time, I stopped her before she reached the top floor, put my arms around her inside her coat, and we shared a little more passion, kissing each other again and again. I really didn’t want to let her go, but I knew her parents were expecting her. I said goodnight, ran downstairs, and hopped back into the waiting taxi. Back in my hotel room, I gave some serious thought about everything that happened during the day. I decided everything was perfect.

[Muckraker]

Vladivostok - trip report

Vladivostok - Day Five

In the morning, Oxana arrived on time, bearing a beautiful matryoshka doll that she bought for me as a present. She had bought it that morning at the shopping center we had been to the previous day. I was flattered - it cost her a nice chunk of her monthly salary. Later in the day, we joked about how we would always keep the largest doll, but give the smaller dolls contained inside to each of our children on their wedding days. “How many children are we going to have anyway?” I replied, “Well, there’s seven dolls inside.” Actually, we had already talked during our correspondence about what we each wanted as far as future children - she wanted one of each, I thought three total was better.

Today we were going to have dinner with Oxana’s parents. First, however, she wanted to take me to her old university. She had two educations, one in Public Relations, the other in English. We took a tram and then a small bus to her university. Her university was probably one of the more interesting things I saw in Vladivostok, partly because I got to see where she went to school, but also because I was able to see classes in progress. The first impression I had was that the inside of the university was old. Like 1940's old. I loved it. There were a fair number of renovation projects in progress; the strange thing was that the students were not prevented from walking through the middle of the renovation projects. I guess they don’t have too many lawsuits here. The majority of the workmen were in fact female. I watched a woman slathering plaster onto a cement pillar, like I was responsible for checking her work, but actually I was just trying to stay out of the way while watching the students that were moving through the room. Remembering the dangers of sanding lead paint, we moved into a hallway containing classrooms. The classrooms were very small, but very full. The students looked really young, and they were all wearing very trendy outfits. Oxana showed me a list on the wall of her old professors, telling me about each of them. I could tell Oxana was getting a kick out of showing me her old university, like she was connecting me with some of her best memories. Although Oxana would have never traveled to another city to meet me anyway, it was a good idea to get to know her in her hometown.

We left the University, and walked around for a bit. We looked at a great old church that looked to be undergoing restoration. The restoration had stopped some years ago, money had run out. They patched the roof with aluminum siding - it looked terrible. I wanted to buy this little church, restore it, and live in it with Oxana forever. She laughed. Silly Muckraker.

We walked down to some shops, and stopped at a kiosk to buy tickets to the Gorky Theater. It was a comedy, a troupe from Moscow, supposedly very good. I told her to get the good seats - 200 rubles each. She was excited about going to the theater the next night. She told me the tickets were too expensive for most people to afford, so the theater is quite a treat. I started to think that taking taxis everywhere was uncomfortable for her, since taxis were about 100 rubles a trip (since I was paying). I preferred the busses to walking though - whatever kept us from crossing the streets. I had wanted to see the Art Gallery, since according to the Lonely Planet guide an early Chagall was exhibited. Yul Brynner’s childhood home was also supposedly in the same area. We took the bus to the general area, and started looking for the Art Gallery. We found it, but it was closed for renovations, which meant, after peeking through the windows, a bunch of old guys sitting around smoking cigarettes. I was disappointed. Hopefully the renovation will be completed in March. We never could find the Yul Brynner house. Oh well, I’ll live.

We had some work to do before heading over to her apartment to meet her parents. For this, I insisted we would need a taxi. First, we drove to a bakery. We had to walk down a series of old alleys, the buildings on either side having collapsed years ago, singular brick walls precariously looming over us. I wasn’t too sure about this place she was taking me. We went through a little door, and, Presto! We were in a really nice bakery. The place was crowded. People were buying cakes for the holidays. We selected a good cake - the prices were cheap. Beautiful large cake - 200 rubles. We made our way through the alleys back to the taxi. The taxi driver wasn’t there. But then he showed up in person - the police made him move. He walked us to where the taxi was now parked, and we headed towards the flower shop. I had read all kinds of horror stories about taxi drivers in Russia, but here, I never met a dishonest driver. Even when they would deliver me back to my hotel by myself, the prices never changed, and they were extremely cool guys. Anyway, the taxi waited for us while we made our way into the flower shop. Again, it was a crowded for the holidays. The flower lady was working hard putting together bouquets for people. We ordered a nice floral bouquet. When it came time to pay, Oxana was a bit disturbed at the price. We were being gouged - Americansky prices. It was still only about $60 for a really beautiful bouquet, and this was important stuff - meeting the folks - so making the best presentation was absolutely required. We headed back to the taxi, I was carrying this huge bunch of flowers, wrapped in paper, weaving through the people on the streets. We got back into the cab, and it was off to her apartment for my first Russian dinner with the family.

We made our way up the stairs to the top floor of her apartment building. There was no chance to pause for a breather, since as soon as we reached the top, Oxana’s dad came out of the apartment and opened the steel gate, which he had clearly purchased as new-old stock from the local prison. He introduced himself, speaking in English. Boris was smiling and happy to see me. Oxana’s dad was a well-traveled guy. He had graduated from the Marine Academy as an engineer, and held several higher degrees in engineering and electrical mechanics. He had been to the U.S. many times, and other parts of the world, while working on ships. We shook hands, and were led inside the apartment. I had brought my slippers with me, so I took off my shoes and put them on. Oxana was laughing at me, and her parents were smiling broadly. What? That was the custom! Apparently not for them. They just walked around in their socks. But they said my slippers were very nice, and to keep them on. I was introduced to Oxana’s mom, an extremely beautiful woman of forty-two years, the same age as her husband. I was definitely not worried about what Oxana would look like at forty-two! I was trying to imagine Oxana with her mother’s bleach-blond hair though. I was immediately taken on a tour of the apartment. I have to say; again, all of the stories about the living conditions did not apply either. This place was nice. Really nice. Two bedrooms, a living room/dining room combination, a nice bathroom, great kitchen. The furniture was nice, the decorations were nice, and it was just plain nice. I recognized parts of it from the background of the pictures Oxana had sent to me of herself. The apartment was filled with items from all around the world. Carved ivory walrus tusks, African wooden statues, Chinese ceramic displays. It had a “Frasier Crane” atmosphere - little items around the apartment that were individually very interesting to look at and talk about. He had purchased the apartment for cash several years ago, and had remodeled it, using marble and ceramic tile, nice wallpaper, and Western style appliances and fixtures (presumably also obtained during his travels and stored on his ship). Boris apologized for the apartment being so small. I rejected this comment. I was really impressed!  It just so happened that I came for a visit while Boris was on leave from his transport ship duties. He works six months on, six months off. I was immediately comfortable here, thanks to my gracious hosts. I was taken to the dining table, where we all sat down. Boris brought out the bottle of Vodka. Uh oh. Now, I am not a drinker by any stretch of the imagination. Mostly fruity drinks on cruise ships and the occasional cold light beer on a hot San Antonio afternoon. The last time I drank hard liquor straight was in the basement of my friend’s house the day after his girlfriend broke up with him. That was in college, we had a bottle of gin, and it was a terrible mistake. Boris filled up a little glass, and we toasted. Oxana and Natasha were drinking Bailey’s Irish Cream, with a dash of Malibu Rum in it. The Vodka was actually really smooth. I took only sips. Then a bottle of champagne was opened, and I had a glass of that. Boris told me that one should never mix Vodka with other drinks.

Both Oxana and Boris were translating for Natasha. Do you wear shoes in the house? Does your house have heat? What exactly do you do for a living? Is it safe in your town? Are there blacks in your town? There is no snow in San Antonio? Boris told me that the family was moving to Vancouver B.C. in eighteen months. He had applied to emigrate eight years ago as a special skill worker, and was finally approved. They would be going to the Canadian Embassy in Moscow for the interview next year, and moving thereafter. He worked for a Greek shipping company, so he earned a Western salary.

Wow. I seemed to recall Oxana was telling me something about this in our correspondence, but I never really understood it. It was becoming more and more clear that Oxana was not the typical RW, and virtually everything I had read just didn’t apply. I deleted from my memory everything I had read about supporting the in-laws, freeing up memory for the new stuff I was about to learn. Boris broke out the pictures, while Oxana and Natasha were busy in the kitchen preparing dinner. Pictures of Oxana as a child (cute!), pictures of Oxana as a teenager (cute!), pictures of Oxana from the modeling studio (Gulp!). Oxana was occasionally squealing in the background trying to censor what pictures I would see. Boris also showed me some really cool pictures of himself working on the ship’s engines, when he was obviously much younger. Being a mechanical guy myself, I asked questions like “Exactly how did you remove the piston rings from this five-foot diameter piston?”   “You need a really big tool” was the answer to most of my questions. We talked about all the plumbing and electrical systems on a large ship. Natasha sat back down and asked Boris in Russian if I was technical. He nodded in the affirmative. I could tell this was scoring points with him. I wondered if it was fate that I had so many junky cars during school. Boris showed me pictures of himself in New York, Houston, New Orleans. Also parts all over the world. We shared stories about places we had both been.

Dinner was served. Caviar, pelmini, oliveti, mashed potatoes, calamari, red fish, sweet peppers. It was ALL GOOD. Oxana had specially bought “Coca Cola Light” for me, my customary drink. She told me it was also now her favorite drink. We all talked and talked. I was offered more food and more drink constantly. It was great. Oxana was sitting next to me; we were going through this together, trying to make the best impression for her parents. We had dessert (the cake that I brought), and then I broke my camera out. We took a bunch of pictures. Boris really liked my camera, commenting on how small it was (Canon Elph2 - unfortunately, I learned that Vladivostok did not have a place that developed the APS film, so they would received copies of these pictures in the mail later). He then showed me his digital camera, and took a few pictures of us with that.  The rule from the women was that we had to get the bouquet of flowers in the picture with us. I tried to help with the dishes, but Natasha wouldn’t hear of it. I talked with Boris some more. I asked him how he would feel if his daughter lived far away. I was worried about this, because this family was obviously very close. He told me that of course he would be upset, but that he could not stop Oxana from starting her own family. This was the first time I formed a mental map of Vancouver, and its proximity to San Antonio. Yes, much closer than Vladivostok, but still not exactly a short drive away.

Oxana came in from the kitchen, and curtly told her dad that it was time for her to spend time with me. Boris retired to the kitchen, to help with the dishes, or to dish with the help - I’m not sure which. Oxana showed me her bedroom. Her bed was actually a futon, which was currently in the “couch” position. We sat down. She showed me her brand new computer that her Dad had just bought her so she could write to me. Wow! I relished the thought of screwing Anastasiaweb out of future email fees. Oxana proudly showed me all the cards I had sent to her, and the Aivazovsky art book (her favorite artist) that was my first present to her through the mail. She showed me her favorite painting from the book - of a girl standing on top of a cliff, the ocean waves crashing below, wistfully looking across the ocean. Yeah, Oxana was definitely a romantic. I asked her questions about various things in her room. I asked her where the “I Love You” teddy bear came from. Her old boyfriend. He was not serious, too immature, and could not think past the next day. Still, he broke her heart, because he asked her to marry him, but she could not accept his proposal. She showed me another teddy bear - the Boyd’s Bear I had sent her with an American flag sewn to his sweater. “My favorite Teddy” she said, smiling. Then Boris came in, sat down next to me, and started showing me all the visas in his passport. Shengen visa, two-year visa to the U.S., all kinds of visas in Africa. It was incredible - he almost had no pages left in his passport. Oxana summarily dismissed him. “It is MY time to talk with Muck!” Boris left.

Oxana had a large bookcase with glass doors in her bedroom. The first three shelves contained romance novels that she had read. I recognized the scented candles that I had sent her, along with a stack of postcards from San Antonio. Somehow, I segued my way into getting her to teach me some more dancing. The folks came in the bedroom, smiling and watching us. I still couldn’t get it - she would have to teach me some more another time.

It was getting really late, so I told Oxana we should call for a taxi. She said it would arrive in half an hour. I took Boris’s Swiss Army pocketknife from my bag, and presented it to him. They all looked at it together, Boris saying it was very handy. I presented a big gold box of Godiva chocolates to Natasha. She was really impressed with the gold packaging and ribbon. I had brought the Givenchy perfume with me (that I had forgotten to give Oxana the night before) and presented it to her. She told me to smell her neck - and what do you know - she had already sneaked a peek into my bag, and sprayed some of it on herself, and put the bottle back in the bag. I knew there was something about her that was turning me on all night. I told her I really liked this perfume. She slyly asked who I knew that wore this perfume. “My cousin, of course. Geeezz.” I also gave her an authentic NYFD t-shirt, since I knew the reputation of these brave firefighters had reached even the Far East of Russia.

The taxi had arrived, so I put my shoes back on - they all giggled at my slippers again. Oxana also put her coat on, she told her parents that she had to tell the driver where to take me. I knew better. I knew what she wanted. I shook Boris’s hand, I thanked Oxana’s parents profusely, Natasha gave me a hug, and I ceremoniously kissed her hand. We said goodbye. Downstairs, Oxana and I kissed each other like lips were love heroin, and we were both junkies. I hopped in the cab, and made it back to the hotel. I was glad I had chosen to stay in the nicest hotel in Vladivostok. In the lobby, I didn’t even think about the spot where the corpse of a local official had laid the year before, riddled with bullets from a mafia contract killing.

[Muckraker]

Vladivostok - trip report

Vladivostok - Day Six

I waited in the lobby for Oxana to arrive at 12 pm, realizing we had not even made specific plans to meet at this time. She arrived nonetheless, with a few minutes to spare. She had the cab waiting, this time she knew of a place that had pastry. We were off to Nostalgia, an authentic Russian restaurant/café. This was a great place. It became my favorite quickly. Just inside the front door was a gift shop, filled with colorful martryoshka dolls and other works. I was careful to remove Oxana’s heavy fur coat from her and give it to the coat check. The first part of the restaurant was the café. There were many people inside, unlike the Hotel Hyundai establishments. Red velvet lined the walls along with pictures of Czarist-era leaders hanging next to each other. It was a happening place though. We ordered our coffee and pastry from the counter, and sat down. I had a roll with sweet poppy-seed filling, and another roll that was filled with cabbage. Both were really tasty, and different, and considerably cheaper than anything near the hotel. We talked about the previous evening with the folks. She told me that her parents liked me, and that everything had gone well. She said her dad was proudly wearing the NYFD t-shirt having decided it was his. We finished our coffee, and went upstairs to the art gallery. Lots of really interesting items, but prices were very high. I showed Oxana how to tell the difference between fake carved ivory and real carved ivory. We left Nostalgia. Tonight, we were going to the play at Gorky Theater. I had told Oxana I wanted to go to the outdoor market that we had passed the day before when we were driving in a taxi. She told me that it was not such a safe place, but she knew a better place to go. We called for a cab using Oxana’s mobile phone. The lady at the cab company - “Green Eyes” - recognized Oxana’s voice, telling her we were becoming their best customers. “You are with the American foreigner? Yes, we know who you are.” I was glad Oxana and I had already spent hours on the telephone discussing the realities of life in America, because there was no way I could duplicate this celebrity in San Antonio. The cab arrived, and we scooted off to the market. The market was large - lots of stalls filled with cheap Chinese clothing and odds and ends. I took a picture of Oxana standing in front of a large pile of small dried herring, strung together to form a fishy Christmas tree. Later, I would notice the vendor had snuck in behind Oxana, with a cheesy grin, forever immortalizing himself in this American dude’s picture album. Oxana took me over to a small shop that sold chocolates. I had told her I wanted to buy some authentic Russian chocolates for gifts back home. She pointed out her favorites, dismissing various brands as inferior. I knew she was a chocolate expert, so I heeded her advice, and purchased a couple of boxes. Vladivostok has a local chocolate factory, famous for its “Bird’s Milk” chocolates. She told me we should go there to buy some one-day. I asked her if birds really lactated. She told me these chocolates were just that good. Next we entered a large building. This was more like a department store, with various shops inside. I looked at a large display of watches, particularly interested in the Russian brands. A teenage girl tugged at my overcoat, begging for money. “Nyet”. Oxana told me she had no sympathy for teenagers who beg. “They should work.” I always felt bad in these situations. We checked out all the other stores, and Oxana went inside one where a friend of hers worked. She wanted her to meet me, but her friend was so busy with all the holiday shoppers there was no way she could take a break. We checked out a toy store, and left the large building. Next, Oxana took me around to a fish market. It was indoors, and chunks of red fish and buckets of red caviar were everywhere. I bought three cans of red caviar to bring back home with me. I took a picture of the fish market, with Oxana in the background. The ladies behind the counter asked Oxana why she was standing so far away. She told them I wanted to photograph all the fish in the display cases. They thought I was weird.

We decided we needed to have dinner early, since we wanted to have plenty of time to get to the theater. Boris had told me about a restaurant that we needed to try, out towards the airport a few miles - the Forest Cabin. We grabbed a cab, negotiated a fare since the restaurant was located outside the city limits, and took off. On the way, Oxana and I held hands, talked, and I had completely forgotten about the intimacy issue. I was simply having the time of my life with a very beautiful, wonderful girl. The best girl I had ever met. After quite a drive, the taxi pulled off the road into a deserted area, which resembled an old farm. Big farm building, small farm building, dirt road here, slabs of concrete there. I was really wondering if this was the place. The taxi driver assured us it was. I wanted confirmation before the taxi drove off, so we rolled down the window and asked a guy that was standing near a car. Da! This is the place. Go around the back. So we got out of the cab, and headed ‘round the back. A large Western-style wooden deck had been built, with a touch of Japanese garden flair. Oxana said that she really thought this “nature” was beautiful. But there just wasn’t anything that suggested a restaurant was located on the property. We walked around, and entered one of the buildings through a solid wooden door. We were getting close. A clothes check guy was sitting behind a counter, cigarette hanging from his lips, reading the paper. He confirmed the restaurant was through another solid wooden door. We left our coats with him, and opened the door. Presto! Inside was a full-blown restaurant, which was actually pretty full. I was always surprised at the total lack of advertising for some of these places. You were just expected to know where they were. If you were the type that didn’t know, they didn’t want you there. The Forest Cabin was an authentic Russian 1800's style log cabin, the waitresses wore period costumes, and the tables and chairs were also authentic Russian frontier style. A large stuffed black bear was standing in the back, looking fierce. We were shown to our table. Frontier Russians must have been really short, because the tables were constructed with no place for your legs to fit under the table. It was like sitting at a box. The chairs had a high, straight back, and were also made of sawed logs. We placed our order with the waitress. “Nyet, you don’t want that, try the Shashlyk” was her reply. O.K., better do what she says? We ate some caviar and bread, took pictures standing next to the stuffed bear, and the Shashlyk arrived eventually. A hunk of barbequed pork rib skewered on a very long sword. The sword came with the plate too, about two feet extending past the plate on either side. I discovered the sword was red hot to the touch. We ate, we drank, and we had a great time. The ambiance of this place was great - totally different from any other restaurant I had ever been too. The remote location added to the ambiance. I also tried the Borsht - delicious. Boris would later tell me that we should try the wild grouse next time, apparently a real delicacy. Anyway, we stayed there for hours, leaving after the waitress called us a taxi. We were headed to the Gorky Theater.

I was a little bit nervous about the theater. This was supposedly high society type stuff, and I wasn’t too sure I could fit in. We were dropped off near the theater, but we could not go inside just yet, the doors were still locked. Many people were milling around outside with us. A guy approached us scalping tickets. The cold was biting at any exposed flesh. Oxana and I kissed a little bit, neither one of us caring about the others around us. It was a romantic feeling - the apprehension of the theater, good food in our stomachs, standing in the dark cold, holding each other. I took out my little credit card LED flashlight, and let Oxana play with it. She liked to flash it into my eyes. My “sexy” eyes as she called them. The theater opened their doors; it was time for this experience to begin. First was the coat check line. It was very efficient. A dozen coat check girls were exchanging hundreds of coats for tickets. Then there was the standing-around- looking-chic phase. Oxana looked great in her skin-tight black and white dress. I bought a bottle of “Coca Cola Light” for myself, and a bottle of water for Oxana. Everyone was having a nice time, standing around, talking in his or her little groups. They paid no attention to me whatsoever. Then a bell rang, it was time to go into the theater. Oxana and I found our seats; we were only a few rows from the front of the stage. I tore my slacks slightly on the wooden arm of the chair as I sat down. The seats were smaller, but comfortable enough. The inside of the theater resembled an older high school theater exactly. I wondered how Oxana would react the first time she entered the Majestic in San Antonio. Others milled in and eventually the theater was filled. I saw some very beautiful ladies there, but none more beautiful that my Oxana. Some of the men were wearing nice sweaters, others were wearing smart business suits. All of the women were dressed to the nine’s, and were smiling and genuinely excited to be there. The men looked liked they had just returned from the dentist - very serious, very subdued. The lights dimmed to dark, the show was about to begin.

A guy took the stage, talking in Russian. Everyone started laughing. The play was a comedy, about a drunken, half-wit husband who had hidden some money in the house somewhere, but had since forgotten where. The poor, beleaguered wife had hired a hypnotist to get the husband to remember where the money was. All kinds of antics abounded between the three players. You didn’t have to speak Russian to enjoy it; much of it was physical comedy. The story cycled abruptly between hilarious comedy, to serious soul-searching, the lighting and the music signaling the changes. Oxana and I held hands, occasionally turning our heads to look at each other and smiling. She would later tell me that at this moment, she knew she was starting to fall in love with me.

The play ended, and the lights came up. All the giggling stopped, and people quietly made their way out of the theater. We collected our coats, as efficiently as we had left them, and called for a taxi using Oxana’s mobile phone. We walked out to the street to wait for the taxi - which arrived promptly. I took Oxana home, kissing each other in the taxi, and then again prior to the final flight of stairs to her apartment. On the way into the hotel, I noticed a snowflake falling from the sky.

[Muckraker]

Vladivostok - trip report

Vladivostok - Day Seven

I jumped out of bed to answer my wake up call. I opened the window - it was very hot in my room since I couldn’t seem to figure out how the thermostat worked. Outside, a thick blanket of snow covered everything. The city looked very different. Instead of a steady stream of cars beeping their way up and down the street, only a few vehicles dared the snowy roads. The snow had the effect of insulating all noise. I started worrying about whether Oxana should make her way through all of this to meet me.

At the end of our phone conversations prior to leaving for Vladivostok, I would tell Oxana a message in French - she loved this language - and she in turn would tell me something in Russian - which I also found to be especially beautiful to hear. We had agreed that when we met, we would translate these messages, so that we would each know what we had been saying. It was our last day together, and tonight we would go to Sky Bar and share the translations of our secret messages with each other.

I waited outside the hotel, just looking at the snow. Oxana hadn’t called the hotel, so I knew she was on her way. Her taxi pulled up, and we had the driver wait while I took a photograph of Oxana because I thought the background of snow would make an especially pretty picture. We hopped back in the taxi, and headed off to Nostalgia for coffee and pastry. The taxi driver was expert at making his way through the snow. It was still snowing, the wipers were going like crazy, and the tires were crunching their way down the road. We made it to Nostalgia, and, worried that we might not get another taxi in this weather, negotiated with the driver for a price to wait for us. Nostalgia was crowded, but we were able to get a seat inside the dinner area of the restaurant, and ordered our breakfast. I decided to be radical, and tried some raspberry tea, and another cabbage roll. When it was time to go, we could not find the taxi driver outside. We walked up and down the street looking for him, holding each other up in case we slipped. We decided he had left, so we had no other place to go but back to Nostalgia. Since the weather had killed Oxana’s mobile phone, we had the restaurant manager call for a cab. We were asked to purchase more coffee for their trouble. As we sat drinking more coffee, waiting for a new taxi to come for us, our old taxi driver walked in, pointing and looking at his watch, as if to say “When are you people going to leave?” At first I thought we must have missed him somehow, but when we got back into the taxi, a woman was sitting in the front seat along with the driver. It was his wife. We told the driver we wanted next to go to the chocolate factory. Oxana was simply delighted, she was gleefully telling me about how when she was a child, her dad would take her to the chocolate factory to buy wrapped chocolates, and she would play with the pretty wrappers after she ate all of them. She commented that we had a “limousine” service today. We made it to the chocolate factory, which had a little store inside selling all kinds of chocolate. We asked the driver to wait for us because we would be right out. Inside, it was packed. Everyone was buying chocolates for the holidays, and the snow wasn’t about to slow them down. The chocolate smell was fabulous. We waited in line together, and Oxana regaled me with her knowledge of all the best chocolates. “This is no good. But this is good. This is the best. But this is good too. This is no good.” All the wrapped chocolates had names, which Oxana cited like they were her little cousins. I watched the others at the front of the line; they all seemed to be getting a large bag of the individually wrapped chocolates, and a few boxes of chocolates. I told Oxana I wanted a large bag of chocolates and some Bird’s Milk and some of the other boxed chocolates she recommended. She smiled, and I made a mental note of this particular expression on her face, one I hadn’t seen before. I also told her we should buy a small box of chocolates for the taxi driver, to thank him for waiting for us. She seemed surprised, but agreed. I stepped back to take her picture with all the chocolates in the background, everyone in the store looking in my direction as Oxana struck a pose. Just a crazy foreigner - nothing new.

I let Oxana handle everything at the counter - she knew what she was doing. To my relief, our limousine driver was still outside. We gave him the small box of chocolates, his wife turned and smiled. Then we were off to the cinema - to see a movie. On the way, the driver stopped at a travel agent, so his wife could buy rail tickets. We waited. Then we went to his house to drop his wife off. Apparently, Oxana and I were just along for the ride. It wasn’t really a limousine after all. So far, this little venture was feeling like one of the more romantic things we had done together so far. There is just something about being driven around in the snow, flitting from place to place, and snuggling together in the warm back seat. We arrived at Illusion cinema. The driver charged us 300 rubles, a very reasonable price given that we had been utilizing his expert snow driving services since he picked up Oxana from her apartment hours ago. We walked through the snow across a small park to the cinema house, hand in hand. Everything was so much prettier with a blanket of snow. Next to the cinema was a motorcycle dealer, selling flashy Japanese sport bikes, which I checked out for a bit, even though I had decided to stop riding a few years ago.

We decided to see the new James Bond flick - Die Another Day. I had initially thought the movie theater would correspond in decor to the Gorky Theater, but I was wrong. It rivaled the modern multiplexes here in the U.S. There were only a few teenagers sitting in the theater. The seats were plush and very comfortable. Oxana and I shared a few of the chocolates we had bought. She had me try each of her favorites. I told her my favorite was “Candy Casino” which she pronounced “Kandee Kahzzeeno” which was too cute. After the movie started, I gently massaged the palm of Oxana’s hand and her fingers. It was giving her “tingles” all over her body, as she put it. I lifted up the armrest between us, and she rested her head on my chest for the rest of the movie, while I continued to gently caress her hand, and hold her close to me. We were taking this slowly, and I liked it. After 007 finished saving the world, I asked Oxana if she liked the movie. “I don’t like fighting in movies. I simply enjoyed being close with you. VERY much!” We called a cab, but due to the weather, it would take an hour. So, we sat down in a café that was located upstairs, next to a full bar (very cool). We start munching on the individually wrapped chocolates again. A girl working at the café came over, and asked us if she could have the colorful empty wrappers that we had laid on the table. She said she wanted to use them for holiday decorations. Oxana was getting more beautiful with every hour that I spent with her. I knew that my life was going to be very different from now on. We started talking about our plans for going to the airport the next day, and the sadness that we were both going to feel. I told her that I was going to miss her very much, and that I promised to be back in March. I focused on our time together in March, not the time we would spend apart leading up to that point. She didn’t want me to go. I promised I would be back. She didn’t want me to go. I promised I would be back...........

The taxi driver called us from his mobile phone. He was outside. We trudged through the snow to the cab, and headed off to Nostalgia, for dinner. When we got there, the restaurant was crowded. There were a lot of Korean tourists and New Russians inside. We were shown to our table, and we ordered a fantastic authentic Russian dinner. I told her she was the most beautiful woman in the world. She turned beet-red, but by the time I could get my camera out to take a picture, her face was back to pink. I told her she was the most beautiful woman in the world again, and I got a fantastic picture of Oxana the red-faced-girl to add to the album. “Muckraker, I am not the most beautiful girl in the world.” I replied, “Well, I think you are.” Red again. The band started at 9 pm. I started to realize why it was called Nostalgia. Everything was classic Frank Sinatra. It was really a magical evening. The beautiful snow outside, the closeness we felt during the day, the fantastic dinner and service, romantic Frank Sinatra songs, and a beautiful girl that made me smile every time I thought about her. I was starting to fall in love too.

An American ex-pat that we had met a few days earlier (while at the UPS office inside the hotel) took the stage and sang “New York, New York”. He was there having dinner with his Russian wife, and after his song he came over to shake hands and joke about me trying to sing “San Antonio Rose” for the crowd. It was getting late, so we had the waiter call a taxi, and we left, heading to Sky Bar.

The mood between us was getting decidedly more dramatic. Prior to this, we were simply enjoying each other’s company, developing feelings based on shared experiences during our time together. Now, just as there had been the first few days of my visit, an undercurrent was developing - centered on what was going to happen between us once I left Vladivostok. At Sky Bar, we sat very close across from each other, holding hands, and professing our feelings. The band was not playing tonight, as if they knew we needed time to talk to each other. I took out my French secret message, and read it to her in English. It was interesting to read it now, knowing it was written prior to our meeting, filled with hopes and dreams that had actually come true. “I love these words, Muckraker. They are beautiful. You are so wonderful, and my perfect man.” She took out a piece of paper, with Russian written on it.

“If two persons feel a spark in their eyes and the heart of each other, no distance will ever separate them. They will always feel closeness towards each other because this feeling is called true love.”

She told me that these words were really true between us, and that she will be waiting for me to return in March.

Her mobile phone rang. Dad calling. It was time for her to get home. We stopped at my hotel room, and inside we kissed and kissed and kissed. It was getting very passionate, and I was about to explode. God, it was just too much for me to bear. She eventually said we had to stop, it was getting late, and her parents would worry. I gave her the remaining romantic videos I had brought, and I asked her if she wanted the sweater I was wearing. Da! Da! I took it off, and then we sprayed it with my cologne, and folded it into a zip-lock bag. She was thrilled. It was a sign that I would, indeed, be coming back. It was Georgio Armani 100% cashmere. I was coming back. I also took about three-quarters of the individually wrapped chocolates we had bought that day, and put them in a plastic bag for her.

We got a taxi to her apartment, went upstairs, shared some passionate kisses, and it was time to say goodnight for the last time until March. I gave her the little credit card LED flashlight that I used to illuminate the way from the taxi and into the dark stairway - probably to the detriment of her father’s eyes. I went back to the hotel, packed everything, and went to sleep, dreaming of my Russian sweetness.

[Muckraker]

Vladivostok - trip report

Vladivostok - Day Eight

I woke up early, got my bags together, checked out, and Oxana met me in the lobby. We would wait for Marsha to pick us up and take us to the airport together. Marsha was running late. We sat together in the lobby. The mood was somber. We talked about the day before. Oxana had slept with my sweater last night. I would become very damn jealous of that sweater over the coming weeks. I took a few pictures. The battery finally failed, so I searched my bags for a new battery. I was handing stuff for Oxana to hold as I searched. She thought the package of pre-moistened towelettes were neat, so I gave them to her. Marsha arrived. I said goodbye to Hotel Hyundai, a very cool place.

Before we left the city, I asked Marsha to stop at a newsstand on the way to the airport. Oxana and I had secretly agreed to buy Marsha a Russian language Cosmopolitan and Elle to read while she waited in the car at the airport. On the drive, Oxana asked me if I had brought any of the individually wrapped chocolates with me. I knew she was going to ask about these, and I pulled them out from my pocket. She went through the bag. “I’m looking for your favorites, Kandee Kahzzeeno.” She gave me the few that she had found, while she munched on her then-current favorite - “Teddy Bear Club Foot” (Clumsy Bear). “You are my Candy Casino,” I told her. She smiled. When we arrived at the airport, I paid Marsha for the taxi service, and gave her the box of chocolates, the remaining individually wrapped chocolates, and the magazines. She told Oxana that she was just going around the corner to a friend’s house, but that she really appreciated the gifts. I was not too pleased with this, as it was not the arrangement we had made. I did not want Oxana to be waiting around alone at the airport for Marsha to come after I left. Oxana insisted it was O.K., because Marsha’s friend was very nearby, and she would simply call her on her mobile when she was ready to leave. I dropped it, but I decided I would not use Marsha’s taxi services again in March.

Inside the airport, Oxana took care of getting my bags checked in, and we headed to the upstairs level to wait for boarding call. There was a McDonalds knock-off upstairs, so I ordered a Coca Cola Light for both Oxana and myself, and a couple of hot dogs (made with real bread and meat). We sat at a table, and I polished off the hot dogs. We were both sad. She looked great. We checked out a newsstand, which sold books of Vladivostok postcards. We looked through them. One was a picture of people on a beach; a couple of girls in the picture were wearing string bikinis. I asked Oxana if this was normal. “Oh yes, I also wear these string bikinis on the beach.” How hot will it be in March? Apparently not hot enough.

An announcement came over the airport speaker - it was time to board. It was not the moment I was looking forward to. We went downstairs, and kissed each other while we waited in line. This was no time to worry about public displays. I again assured her I would be back soon. She was very sad. She promised she would not cry until after I left. We were both trying hard. It was my turn in line, I kissed Oxana for the last time, gave my documents to the official who approved them too quickly, turned around and took a final picture of Oxana - a picture which captured her trying-not-to-cry expression perfectly. I waved, turned, and headed for the bus to get on the plane.

[Muckraker]

Vladivostok - trip report

Vladivostok - Epilogue.

Oxana has found an apartment for me to rent in her own building for a month ($600), and I will be leaving March 2nd, returning April 4th. Since I returned from Vladivostok, I have been calling Oxana every night, sometimes for six hours at a time; sometimes we manage to keep it down to just two hours. We have become much closer since my trip, and we are both very excited about the next month together. I decided to make some changes in my life, so that I could follow my heart that was left in Vladivostok. I have put my career on hold, and after March, I have no doubt that I will be looking at job opportunities in Seattle - contract positions that will permit me to spend every third month in Vladivostok, until I no longer need to, and find something permanent thereafter. I have traveled across the country to visit my parents and my siblings, to tell them in person about Oxana, how we met, and where I felt my life was heading with her. They have been extremely supportive and happy for me. However, a few of my so-called friends and extended family members have not, and I have dropped them from my life. I have never been so sure of anything in my life, even though my life has been turned upside down.

Muckraker

[Muckraker]

Vladivostok - trip report

Vladivostok - Trip #2.

Days 1 - 20

My apartment in Vladivostok was really nice, fully remodeled, and even included a microwave, washing machine, iron/ironing board, and a universal format VCR/TV. The marble floor of the bathroom was heated, as well as the towel racks. It was a very comfortable place to stay.

We spent the first few weeks checking out the sights of Vladivostok. The weather was warmer this time, so we could spend more time outside. We fell into a routine, and it was nice. For March 8th, I took “Oxana” to Sky Bar (with her two best girlfriends who were dateless) for a special dinner and the entertainment the restaurant was having. The place was packed, and the entertainment was great - everything from a band to traditional Russian male dancers (you know, the kind where they cross their arms and squat down and kick their feet out, up and down) to audience participation games to a black guy who did a strip show (not fully nude). It was a great night, and Oxana kept telling me how romantic and thoughtful I was. I also gave her eleven red roses that we picked up right before we went to the restaurant (from the flower shop downstairs) which were prominently displayed by the restaurant manager since we had reserved the best table directly in front of the stage.

During this trip, I stopped looking at Oxana as a Russian Woman and started seeing her simply as a woman (or girl, as Oxana insists on saying). Although she is fundamentally perfect for me, we did have our share of disagreements. I learned to stay out of the kitchen. Or, at least, sit at the kitchen table quietly, so long as I did not offer any food preparation advice. I also learned not to get caught polishing my shoes in the kitchen sink, or eat anything out of the refrigerator that has been there for over three days (since, it is plainly obvious to anyone, we are saving that for the dog that lives in the hallway downstairs). She claims I am obstinate, but delights in letting me do things “my” way, because invariably it leads to disaster, and she gets to tease me about it for days. I’ve been single for 35 years, it takes time to let go I guess. We baked a cake together (a carrot cake - the mix and the cream cheese icing I brought with me in my luggage) and we burned it. In our previous phone conversations, it was to be a metaphor for how we were able to work together. We cut off the burned parts, and smeared the icing over it to cover it up, and it was fine. One day, she called me an uncultured pig, and a showoff, but she said she still loved me anyway. So, it was time for the marriage proposal.

Day 21

We had been looking at rings for a while, but nothing had really jumped out at us. I had told her what price range to look at, and I had brought a 10x loupe with me to check the clarity of the diamond (which was a good idea since none of the shops had one to borrow). Finally, we went into one jewelry shop and looked into their case. The first ring that caught my eye was also the first ring that caught her eye. We looked at it, it was really perfect, and she loved it. But, I still wanted to keep looking. The price of the ring was about half of what I had told her we could spend, so I wanted to see if there was something else out there even nicer. However, every other place we went, she would say, “Yes, it is nice. But..... I like the ring from the other store.” So, I had already learned that once Oxana makes her mind up, that is it. It wouldn’t matter what else we saw. So, we went back, and bought our ring. I kept it until the formal “blessing of the parents” dinner (except for one day I let her wear it around town and it was funny to watch her looking at it every ten seconds).

So, we invited her parents to Sky Bar for dinner. They knew what the deal was, being fully apprized by Oxana. Earlier in the week, Oxana and I translated the speech I was going to make into Russian, since her mother didn’t speak English. About ten minutes before they were to meet us at Sky Bar, I read the speech one final time to Oxana, whereupon she corrected my pronunciation of about 75% of it. Apparently, she hadn’t really been listening to me when I was practicing to her while she made breakfast the past few mornings. So, this increased the nervousness level. We had worked out a signal together, so at the appropriate time, I proffered to her parents various justifications for why Oxana and I felt we should get married, and requesting their blessing and permission. Oxana’s mom started talking, while Boris translated. Everything was fine, they agreed, and that if we were really in love, we should get married, and they would be happy for us, and give us their blessing. Then, I presented Oxana with the ring, Boris took pictures, and the waitresses at the bar were seething with jealousy (we had various run-ins with them over the month). After her parents left, Oxana said everything had gone perfectly, and the relationship between us changed entirely. It was now us against everyone else.

Days 22 - 29

Now that I was the fiancé, it was time to meet the grandparents, the aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. So, we made the rounds. Everyone was super nice. I had been eating too much the previous weeks, but this week proved my stomach was capable of stretching to limits never before imagined. I spent a day out in the forest with Oxana and her parents for a “nature”, and Boris made pork shyslyk while Oxana and I dug for diamonds in the frozen river bed (well, I was digging for diamonds, Oxana was laughing at me). Ever seen a woman go camping wearing a full-length fur coat? Well, I have. We also went to the Catholic Church in Vladivostok to speak to the priest about having the wedding (ceremonial only) there, as well as checked out the best shop in town for buying wedding dresses. While at the bakery one day, we looked at their book for wedding cakes. I was trying to get her focused on thinking about the wedding, not on the fact that I would be leaving soon. We plan to have the wedding the week before we are due in Moscow for the interview, and proceed directly to the U.S. thereafter.

Day 30

Well, we say goodbye today. We had done a great job of cleaning the apartment the day before, and we worked well together doing so. It wasn’t the happiest day of our time together, and the goodbye was very difficult for me. On the plane, I was checking my itinerary and upon seeing her picture in my wallet, I shed a tear or two. On the phone now, she keeps saying, “I wish you were here. I want you to be here. I miss you.” Anyway, I was planning on going back for the month of June, but we are now investigating the possibility of my spending June, July and August together. The whole summer in Vladivostok with her would be a dream I never thought would come true in my life, even if it means some tough decisions will have to be made. Actually, they are not so tough for me, just for everyone else. Screw ‘em!

So, I’m pretty sure I’ll be spending the summer there.

Muck

[Muckraker]

Vladivostok - trip report

Vladivostock - Trip #3

Prologue

Well, I’m off to Vladivostok in a few more days, to spend the summer with Oxana. I will be staying at a different apartment this time, the former place having been taken off the market due to the arrest of a very high ranking official in Moscow accused of stealing six million dollars from the Fisheries Ministry. The official’s mother-in-law was the owner of the apartment. Kind of explains the heated marble bathroom floors and all of the amenities. My new apartment is immediately next door to Oxana’s place, as in, we could probably talk to each other through the wall. Boris will be away on his ship for six months, so I suspect this was part of a grand plan to ensure things would remain above-board during my stay. I think it is really convenient, since we won’t have to walk outside at night when I take Oxana home, which is quite scary for her since she had a run-in with some young Mafia guys that tried to get her into their car. This place is only $300 a month too.

All of my worldly possessions are locked up in a storage unit, I’m down to one car, and I don’t know where I will live or work when I get back in September. All I know is I’m spending three months with my true love in a really great city, doing nothing but hanging out together. Oxana was forced to quit her job as her boss started playing games with her salary and her hours. She went from $300 to $80 a month, working late hours into the night, getting calls on her mobile phone from her boss at night when she knew Oxana was on the phone with me, and one time her boss made her give back part of her agreed cash salary claiming an accounting error was made. What the @*#! ? All the stories about problems at work after your RW’s engagement seem to be holding true in my case. And her boss was a woman! This was perfectly fine with me, as we can now spend all of our time together, but it was a difficult decision for Oxana as she feels lost without something to do during the day. She joined the local gym ($80 a month for three days a week, which she paid herself as she refuses to let me give her money) and has been taking Yoga and Belly Dancing classes, as well as circuit training. The male employees hit on her a lot in a testosterone and Deca induced anabolic frenzy, but she isn’t letting it get in the way of her “training” because she really enjoys it. I will also be going to the gym with her over the summer in an attempt to keep one step ahead of the constant forced feeding, but Oxana is very worried that I will become too skinny. I will be bringing my laptop with me this time so I can stay in contact via the internet, as the local internet cafés are just too busy with kids playing computer games. I will post updates from time to time as interesting things occur, and it should make for a pretty good guide for anyone interested in spending some time in Vladivostok.

Muck

[Muckraker]

Vladivostok - trip report

I’ve been in Vladivostok for three weeks now. For most guys, this time would mark the end of their trip, but for me, it is just the beginning. I can’t seem to grasp that I will be here another nine weeks, and keep feeling like I have to grab as much quality time with Oxana as possible.

I couldn’t get my visa registered, since every hotel in town needs a letter from the business that sponsored me, regardless of offers to grease the rails. Russian National Group was no help whatsoever, this will be the last time I use them, they simply refused to fax a permission letter from the “business” they claimed would be sponsoring me. They seem to have absolutely no customer focus. Anyway, I gave up, so I’ll just have to see what happens when I leave Russia through Moscow in a few months. This was also the first time a border patrol cop checked my passport upon departing the plane in Vladivostok (a domestic flight from Moscow), asking for my business permission letter. After a bit of an argument (there was no way I was going to let him delay my seeing Oxana one minute longer) he let me pass as I was blocking the other passengers and wasn’t going to move. I don’t understand why the hotels are being so particular this time. They better keep track of my whereabouts, or else I might use my LED keychain light to figure out where they are hiding all the manhole covers.

Oxana and I go to “Master Gym” three days a week (www.mastergym.ru). It has less equipment as compared to US fitness clubs, but Master Gym is far more elegant inside, and everything is new as it has been open for less than two years. It might be what an exclusive spa looks like. They also schedule a good number of classes that are included in the membership fee of $80 a month. Oxana and I work out together on the circuit machines for ninety minutes, and then I use the treadmill while Oxana is taking her belly dancing and Yoga classes. It is nice way to spend a few hours together, and Oxana is really cute with how dedicated she is. She told me that she always dreamed of being a dancer, but her parents wanted her to study English and business instead, so she loves taking these classes now. Most importantly, Master Gym will be the only place I get a decent shower during my stay in Vladivostok.

I love the Chinese market here. There are so many little knickknacks to check out, and the fake clothing (trademark infringement) is pretty interesting. I bought a decent fake Patek leather belt for $6, and a pair of fake Ray Ban sunglasses for $3 (as throwaways for the beach). An inordinate number of locals wear fake Adidas and Reebok active wear, including sneakers. They even sell reproduction Levi’s brand jeans, since the genuine articles cost $80 here. All of this stuff comes from nearby China, but the Russians do a great business in selling reproduced CDs, DVDs, MP3s, etc. I bought an MP3 CD that included every Pink Floyd album from 967 to 1995. It cost me $3. I would think an MP3 CD player would make a great gift. I also bought a vintage Russian wristwatch for $4. Oxana does not understand why I would want to wear a watch like her grandfather wears, but that is exactly the reason why I think it is cool. Number 23 from downtown is the best bus to get to the Chinese market, just ask the driver to let you know when the bus reaches “Universam” - he will be glad to help you. From there, you cross the street to the other side, turn south (back the way you came on the bus), and walk down the sidewalk a ways (or through the new park they are creating, you will see the new whale fountain). You can’t miss the market on your right. If you continue walking south another five minutes you will pass the Illusion movie theater at 103 Vladivostoku Ave. Surprisingly, Illusion cinema sells Coca Cola Light (30 rubles for a 32 oz fountain cup), and there is an internet station on the ground floor if you need to check mail, and the cafe/bar has nice tables and chairs for sitting (and the bathrooms in the basement are really nice).The Chinese market is a fun place to check out while waiting for a movie to start, especially if you need to buy some cheap household goods for your stay . It will take all day to see everything they sell. There is also a little park between the market and the cinema with an old Red Army tank on display. All the walkways are newly paved with decorative bricks. On the weekends, buy your cinema tickets early to get the best seats (it is not open seating ). The seats are 50 rubles each, with “VIP” seats double that (they have a seating chart at the ticket window). They also have “kissing seats” for 150 rubles, I haven’t tried those yet, I think it is mostly for teenagers, but who knows.

The apartment is OK, nothing really special. The floors are freshly painted with yellow enamel, including painted over the tile in the bathroom. They switched to white enamel for the bathtub. I predict little yellow and white flakes of paint all over the apartment soon enough. The best feature of the apartment is that it is five feet from Oxana’s front door. I also have this really interesting washing machine. It is a large bucket that you place into the bathtub, then you perform all the filling/draining functions manually, but it has a motor that does the actual agitation through a rubber vane on the bottom. It works surprisingly well, and a lot more fun than a regular washing machine. I don’t know why I haven’t seen these in the US for apartments without connections. I amazed Oxana one day by switching the opening direction of the refrigerator door, after she complained how it was so inconvenient trying to put stuff into it the way it was placed in the kitchen. I showed her how the factory actually designs it either way, you just have to switch the hardware over. I also fixed her broken shoe heel with a nail and some “JB Weld” epoxy that I brought with me, and installed a telephone extension by the front door (convenient for calls after you have your shoes on). She calls me her “good boy”. A word about the phone system here. They still don’t use “touch tone” system access. So, if your apartment has only a “pulse” phone, and you need to use a calling card to call back to the States, you will have to buy a “touch tone” phone that is switchable between tone and pulse. First, at the pulse setting, you dial the local access number. Then you switch the phone over to “tone” to dial the rest of the card numbers. If you want to be sure, bring a cheap one with you from the States, they are identical (including the jacks) to the ones purchased locally. I buy my long distance phone cards locally from a company called “iP Telephone”. I get two hundred minutes to various parts of the US for 500 rubles. I buy these cards at a “Bank of Russia” branch office at 17 Partizansky Ave. You can get there from downtown by taking buses 17, 14, 12, 40, 42, or 23 (tell the driver to let you know when you get to Instrumentalne Zavut). Cross the street at the crosswalk (wait for the light), and take a left (south) and walk down the street a bit (past the kiosks). To your right, on the ground floor of the high rise apartment building (you will see the number 17 on the building), you will see a green Bank of Russia sign (look for the dollar sign). Down the steps from the sidewalk, go inside, and ask the teller for “Eye Pee telephoneeya”. Any bus you see on that side of the street will take you back downtown.

I have the “pulse” problem with my modem also. So, first I dial the local access number via a pulse telephone, then when it picks up, I click on the connect to the modem and then hang up the phone. I can’t seem to get my modem to dial pulse, but my little procedure works well enough once I tell my software not to wait for a dial tone. The local internet provider is called “Primorye online” (www.primorye.ru). Once you purchase a card which includes your ID and password, you use Windows as your access software to dial up (My Computer; Dial-Up Networking; Make a New Connection). Average price (depending on the time of day you want to use the internet) is 20 rubles an hour. I buy the cards at a telephone/fax center located at the corner of 57 Svetlanskaya and 2 Lazo Street. Take bus 23E or 40E (if you are outside of the city center) otherwise just walk to the Square of the Soviet Fighters and take any bus heading north/east on Svetlanskaya and ask the driver to tell you when he stops at “Lazo” (or simply get off at the stop where you see Allegro Foods on the other side of the street). Cross the street at the crosswalk, and at the corner a few doors south/west, you will see a pink/white building and a blue sign with a picture of a telephone on it . Inside, at the back wall, you will find a poster with all the information for the internet cards, next to the teller window where you can buy the cards. There is also an ATM inside. If you want to walk back down Svetlanskaya (the way you came), you will pass by many shops, cafes and attractions, terminating in the embankment and Pacific Ocean.

We went to a really great modern dance performance by a visiting Moscow troupe here at the Gorky Theater (“TODUS” was the name of the performance). A lot of synchronized and Brittny Spears/Back Street Boyz style dancing, but also some really interesting body kinetic visual effects. Our tickets were priced at 800 rubles each, and the place was packed, even the aisles had people sitting in them (I think they were students who got in for free). We also saw “Swan Lake” performed by the Korean National Ballet Company on June 21. We had sixth row center seats for 300 rubles each (a beautiful performance). The best seats always sell out fast, so buy them as soon as possible if you plan on attending a performance at Gorky. Tickets are made available approximately one month prior to the performance date. You can buy tickets at the theater itself (49 Svetlanskaya at the top of the hill and stairs), at a sidewalk kiosk located in front of 29 Svetlanskaya (a yellow colored beauty store with white trim), or we have found better tickets available at an underground kiosk (at 25 Svetlanskaya, next to the pink/white Maritime University, take the steps down under the street and find the little kiosk with the theater posters on it). You can look at a seating chart at all of the locations, and different babushkas from the same kiosk sell different tickets, so you can wait for the second shift to check for better tickets if you want. We got great seats for “The Phantom of the Opera” on July 16th (250 rubles each) and for when we take Oxana’s mother to see “Silva” on July 17 (250 rubles also). Both are being performed by a troupe from Habarovsk.

[Muckraker]

 

A great grocery store is located at 47 Svetlanskaya named Zolotoyvic (directly in front of the crosswalk). For some reason, they mark it as at 29 Svetlanskaya, but it is between 45 and 49, so........ It also has a nice cafe inside where they serve coffee, cold sodas, ice cream and, quite notably, pastry. It is a good place to duck out of the sun for a bit because it is air-conditioned. The grocery store section is upscale and well stocked, and consequently prices are higher. They have a large selection of really fine spirits, as well as offer Cuban cigars, if you are so inclined.

Just about next door at 43 Svetlanskaya is a bookstore complex (both on the ground floor and on the first floor). This is worth mentioning because in these stores you can find a book entitled “Vladivostok, A Guide Book” printed in 2002 which is written in both English and Russian (spiral bound, blue cover with a picture of two white luxury cruise ships docked at port). Ask the shopkeepers “Ooo vas yeast puty voh deettyell poh Vladyvostocku” which means, “Do you have the Vladivostok Guide”. This book does the best job of describing the sights of Vladivostok that I have read, but best of all is a bus route map inside. Price was 150 rubles. The ground floor locations have a large selection of learning English books, so who knows who you will meet if you hang around.

If you bought your theater tickets at the kiosk on Svetlanskaya (or the one under it, inside the walking underpass), you can keep walking west/south (the numbers get smaller), and you will walk past the pink/purple sign of Studio Cafe (www.studio-coffee.com) at 18 Svetlanskaya to your left (soon after another walking underpass). They have done a lot of work since March. In addition to allegedly re-training all employees in customer service, they are building a restaurant upstairs (ready in early August) and have opened an outdoor cafe that will also be heated (three orchard heaters) as the weather requires. The waitresses are more responsive now, but still not anywhere close to US standards. Expect to wait an unreasonable amount of time for everything and for the waitresses to forget everything at least once. Anyway, a stylish place to have a bite to eat or a slow talk over a pot of tea (they have fine variety of food, and an English language menu) and possibly a good restaurant in the future. Prices are fairly reasonable too (300 rubles for a fish dinner large enough for two, two bowls of ice cream with chocoladum syruppum, and a pot of tea). The tables at the front of the cafe are non-smoking only.

If you continue down Svetlanskaya past Studio Cafe, you will pass the famous Versailles Hotel at 10 Svetlanskaya. This is an old hotel built in a classical style and renovated in the early 90’s. You should stop inside the lobby for a quick look, the gold-leaf filigree and the chandeliers are interesting (the pictures I took of Oxana with this in the background looked amazing). The restaurant is on the third floor, and Oxana and I like to go there for ice cream since they have a great variety (blueberry, apricot, etc.) and the decor of the restaurant is also really nice, with several more beautiful chandeliers you won’t forget. It has an “old” elegance, like how it would have been if you were having dinner in the finest restaurant in Vladivostok circa. 1910 when it was a wealthy, worldly city. If you want “cozy”, this isn’t it. I keep trying to figure out how large the chandeliers would be if they were on the floor, at least seven feet tall I think. The service is really great, even when you are only spending 200 rubles.

Walk past the Versailles Hotel on Svetlanskaya, cross Tigrovaya, and you are on the verge of the embankment (you can’t miss it to your right, cross Svetlanskaya and down the stairs). The embankment (beach area) is definitely a popular place during the warmer months. On the weekends, there are hundreds of people walking around, enjoying the music, smoking, drinking beers (or cans of “Gintonics”) and basically trying to hook up with each other or checking out the scene. There are many kiosks selling beverages, candy, chips, ice cream, shyslick, and shaurma (Arabian burritos). For a few rubles, you can even entertain everyone by singing your favorite Russian song on one the Kareoke machines, or you can just watch someone else demonstrate the complimentary effects of excessive alcohol consumption and Kareoke machines. For ten rubles you can have your picture taken with monkeys, reindeer, snakes, or horses using your own camera. Artists will draw your portrait for a small fee, some are far superior to the others, so be selective no matter how pushy they are for a sitting. One of them speaks English, which might be helpful. Numerous tents are set up for drinking and eating inside, along with chairs and tables located outside. The smell of roasting shyslick is everywhere. Along the beach front, girls sit on top of the sea wall while boys stand in front of them, whispering sweet nothings, sharing drinks and smokes. There are two indoor fish markets, displaying the largest crabs I have ever seen, along with fresh catches of the day. They have just built a huge new water fountain in the square in front of the stadium entrance, and are in the process of renovating large parts of the walkways around the square, so hopefully it should look pretty nice by the end of the summer. They have also recently contracted with a local company to build new Port-O-Johns, so many of these are located throughout (five rubles and hold your nose). Oxana really loves this part of the city, and she used to walk down here every day during her lunch hour to sit and watch the ocean and remember the time we spent together in December and March. Now, when we walk around here hand-in-hand, she simply smiles and holds me close, as if she can’t believe I am really here with her. There is a long jetty between the beach and the open ocean where you can sit at tables and listen to the ocean and watch the sun set behind the islands in the distance. It is really a romantic place, I can’t wait to spend more time out there, just drinking cold Coca Cola Lights and enjoying the view. The plastic tables (with umbrellas) and chairs are kept pretty clean by boys that work for the food/beverage stands, but I still put a white cotton handkerchief down so she won’t get her clothes dirty, it makes Oxana feel really special. We have decided to spend every evening down on the embankment when the weather is nice, watching the sunset from the jetty (around 9:00 PM these days) and mixing with the crowd. We want this to be our best memory when we think about our summer in Vladivostok together. I have to say, Vladivostok is the kind of city that can grow on you fast, and I find myself often wondering why the parking lots, indoor mega-malls and giant grocery stores back home are supposed to be any better.

The Primorye Art Gallery has moved permanently downtown to 12 Aleutskaya. However, they will be closing for repairs and moving back to the old location temporarily at 12 Partizansky (a pink building). Currently at the Aleutskaya location, they are claiming to be exhibiting 150 paintings, but in reality only a few rooms are open for the public (the whole gallery is closed Mondays and Tuesdays). At the temporary location, they claim they will exhibit over 500 paintings. The Chagall is currently on tour, first in New York, then Moscow, then Korea. They hope to have it back by the end of the summer, but frankly, I think the Chagall will never be back, and some government official has a nice Mercedes instead. I fear the same is true for the thousands of other works they used to have, but no longer exhibit. The title of the Chagall is “Brother” as best as we could determine from the gallery director who came over to give us a tour when she discovered an American was asking about the Chagall. She was a very nice lady, and basically gave us a private tour and explained each of the fifty or so paintings we saw. We were very excited to see an original Aivazovsky since this is Oxana’s favorite painter. It was huge, about seven feet by ten feet, entitled “Sunrise on the Black Sea” painted in 1874. It depicts a small ship filled with lovely Armenian women who have been captured as slaves by Caucasian men, who are fighting off men from a larger ship who are trying to rescue the women. The waves and the sunlight look amazing in the painting, typical in the artist’s work. I had given Oxana a huge art book on Aivazovsky back in August ‘02, and when we got home we looked through the book again to see if we could find a picture of it (the gallery does not sell any reproductions nor permit photography) because we really wanted a copy of this painting for ourselves, but it was not depicted. I noticed the note I had included in the book, with my Russian writing that I had translated, and we read it again together. It was based on several letters she had written to me, describing her love of the ocean.

“For Oxana, who loves to spend her time by the sea, to feel its breeze, to enjoy the sound of the waves, to smell the salty air. All of this which makes her sink into a special world, devoting herself to dreams of a girl who has so much unspent love to give to a special man in her life, and whose words have touched my heart.”

She asked me why I’m not romantic anymore. I have to think about this for a few days I guess, but it is an interesting comment for me. People are overly romantic when a distance exists between themselves and the object of their affection, and now that I am with Oxana for the summer, I wonder if I will find myself less attentive towards her. Anyway, I will have to pay more attention, particularly to the little things that can mean so much to her.

Across the street and a little south from the Primorye Art Gallery is a new cafe called “Cafe Blues” that opened up last month (11 Aleutskaya, also just north of the Marine/Train Terminal - look for the blue mirrored windows). It is a nice place to go if it is raining, since they have large windows where you can sit and watch the rain and the people coming and going from the Marine/Train Terminal. The ice cream and cappuccinos are perfect, but fair warning that the service is terrible, because the teenage employees could really care less whether you frequent there or not (this is very common in cafes here, so just relax and take it in stride or they will energy vampire you). If you want better service in the same area, go to Nostalgia by continuing south on Aleutskaya and turning west on Morskaya (directly opposite the Marine/Train terminal) and continue up the hill a few blocks until you see it on your right. Oxana and I have standing plans to head to Cafe Blues whenever it rains to sit in front of the windows over cups of coffee and bowls of maroshna suh chocoladum syruppem.

[Muckraker]

The more time I spend in Vladivostok, the more irritated I get with the little everyday nuisances and quirks. If you buy a bottle of water from a grocery store for 21 rubles, and you give them three tens, they ask you for one ruble, and they won’t sell you the water until you produce the one ruble coin. Their jobs are so boring and unfulfilling that they must get some sense of control in their lives by demanding that their customers jump through little hoops they artificially create. Another interesting scenario is when you order something, and they say “Oh, it is very expensive” and when you say that it is fine, they get angry (this is for stuff that costs 100 rubles, mind you). I was actually surprised when we met a nice lady (who called Oxana “birdy”) who gave us a free plastic bag to go with our Coca Cola Light. Can you believe it!!!???? A FREE plastic bag!!! What a score!!!! The lady said she wanted to foster good foreign relations. Oxana and I have a funny memory of when I tried to give a Port-O-John attendant a ten ruble note. This babushka looked at the note like it was a million dollar bill, and immediately asked if we had anything smaller. We didn’t. The old woman acted soooooooo distraught, but pulled out a BUCKET of coins from one of the Port-O-Johns that she used as her office and gave me five rubles in change. As we were walking away and still laughing, Oxana reminded me that Port-O-John attendants in Vladivostok might not have the best mental health. They may also be thinking that I will just let them have the change, I don’t know. That isn’t happening though, because I save all my coins for this one-armed guy that sits with his dog at the entrance of a walking underpass at Svetlanskaya. Anyway, just don’t expect a high level of service (or possibly mental health) when dealing with shopkeepers, waitresses, or anyone other than the taxi drivers (the taxi drivers are fantastic at what they do). Oxana says that if she complained about all the aggravating things, she would do nothing but complain all day long and eventually turn into one of these crazy old babushkas you see walking around, ranting at the world. I’ve been thinking lately that a little vodka in the evenings might relax me...........

This is a typical exchange at the grocery mart between Oxana and a shopkeeper.
Oxana: Girl, do you have cranberry juice?
Girl: Nyet.
Oxana: What about pineapple juice?
Girl: Nyet.
Oxana: Girl, can you tell me what kind of juice is in that box with the pineapple on it?
Girl: It is not pineapple juice. It is pineapple juice, not cranberry juice. We don’t have cranberry juice, nor pineapple juice. But this is pineapple juice.
Oxana: Oh yes, that is what I want. How much does it cost?
Girl: 52 rubles.
Oxana: I’ll take it.
Girl: We are sold out. You can’t have this one.
Oxana: Really?
Girl: This one is 65 rubles.
Oxana: Fine, I’ll take it.
Girl: It is not very good.
Oxana: Thank you. Also a plastic bag.
Girl: Three rubles for the bag.
Oxana: Yes, that is fine, thank you.
Girl: 68 rubles, give it to me.
Oxana: (handing her a one hundred ruble note).
Girl: Do you have eight rubles?
Oxana: No.
Girl: How about five rubles?
Oxana: No, I don’t have any change, I’m sorry.
Girl: How about a ten ruble note?
Oxana: No, that is the smallest note I have.
Girl: It is a problem.
Oxana: Girl, do you have change?
Girl: Buy some soap, then I can make change.
Oxana: How much?
Girl: Thirteen rubles.
Oxana: Fine.
Girl: 81 rubles (then putting the change on the counter and walking away).
Muckraker: Hey, ask her if they have any Coca Cola Light.

There is a newly created piazza called “Arbat” (Fokina St.) leading down to the embankment area, the top entrance of which is located between 27 and 29 Aleutskaya. It is a nice place to sit on one of the benches or outdoor cafe tables and just watch people walk by. The ground is covered with decorative brick pavers (the ground was a street just six months ago, but it is now closed to all vehicle traffic), several fountains line the walkway in the center along with flower beds, and the shops have all been repainted and fixed-up to look nice. It was part of a beautification project headed by one of the local government officials. He also owns a brick company, which supplied the bricks (he drives a Mercedes too, I bet). There is a building appearance code in place for this area. At the end of the piazza leading down towards the embankment, there are three cafes that are worth mentioning (there are other cafes in the piazza, I just haven’t been to them yet). On the right, is “Papparazzi” (3 Fokina) - walk down a skinny flight of stairs and there are small round tables filled with girls in their twenties reading modern girl magazines from the cafe’s magazine rack and smoking. There is a large window at the far wall looking outside at nothing in particular. They have coffee from all over the world, but the house cappuccinos are fantastic and at 55 rubles are the best value. No pastry and they only serve breakfast (all the time), and no English language menu. Immediately next door to Papparazzi, with an incredibly small sign, is “Pustota” (www.pustota.ru). This is a cozier place, more a restaurant than a cafe (although they serve the same variety of coffee as Papparazzi), with an Asian theme decor (Buddhas all over the place) even though it is not Asian cuisine. It has a nice variety of food on the menu (including seafood, soups, salads, desserts), reasonable prices, and is very comfortable, quiet, and dark. No English menu (they claim they will get one soon). The third cafe is on the other side of the piazza from Papparazzi and Pustota, named “Hippopotamus”. The tables are in front of the windows, with one table off to the right for better privacy. They have a nice variety of food on the menu (steak, fish, pork, chicken, veal, salads, breakfast) including spicy buffalo wings and frogs legs (and an English language menu).

Walking further down Fokina towards the embankment area is “Mauro Gianvanni” (16 Fokina) Italian restaurant. The outside of the building is not so attractive, just square with large black windows. However, once you go inside, you are surprised to see it is a nice place. The foyer is on the brink of being luxurious, where an attendant stands (pretending that one day he will be checking reservations) with the bathrooms to the left. Once you enter through the second doors to the dining area, you will note the black windows are simply one-way tinting, allowing you to see outside perfectly. Oak fired brink oven, wine racks, Fabio shoving stuff into the oven looking bored in his white tank top. Engravings from J.D. Harding’s paintings of Italian scenes adorn the walls. The table service is really wonderful, but my pizza wasn’t quite right (it tasted like fish) and anyway it not like the pizza we eat in the US (or Italy, for that matter). More like those Chef Boy-R-Dee do it yourself pizza kits they used to sell when I was a kid. They will bring you all the free freshly baked flat pizza bread you can eat though. From the English version of the menu, you can order a host of Italian dishes. Oxana had never had lasagna, so we tried that, and it was really good. Not the cheapest restaurant in town, but a pretty good place to go if you demand semi-authentic Italian fare. You could really just order one dish and fill up on the free bread, Oxana couldn’t stop eating it, it tasted so good. You can sign the guest book on the way out with a special message, mine says “Muck and Oxana, June 14, 2003, Love” except we used our real names.

Hotel Hyundai’s Pacific Sky Bar is really scoring big with us these days. After checking out so many restaurants and cafes where the service is just awful, it is nice to go to Sky Bar and know that everything will be perfect. The last time we went there (after the Swan Lake ballet) the girls in the band starting singing the “Titanic” theme song for us without even asking (the last time I asked them was in March) so Oxana really loved the attention and the romantic dance we had. The waitress brought us an actual ice bucket full of ice when we asked for ice, no charge. Try this at any other restaurant in town and see what you get. They have started a buffet on Friday evenings for $20 a person. A definite “must do” given the cozy atmosphere, elegant style, live entertainment, food variety, and privacy (all you can eat too - Oxana loves the yummy desserts). We order the Russian champagne at $10 a bottle and the 1.5 liter bottle of water at $3. On regular days (afternoons when our feet hurt from walking) we sit on the comfy sofas for hours, and have the ice cream at $4.50 along with a big pot of tea for $6 (about six cups). Plus they offer 30% discount now for orders between 12 pm and 5 pm. They treat you like a king, no matter how cheap you order. A wonderful, comfortable place with no hassles or worries, once you figure out the rip-offs on the menu.

Anyway, that is it for now. Life is good.

Muck

[Muckraker]

Vladivostok - trip report

We went to the family dacha on a beautiful sunny day, one of the very few sunny days that have occurred so far this summer. This place was really great, only about twenty minutes outside of town by taxi (near the old military helicopter base “Aerodrome”). Little houses were separated by crude fences outlining gardens producing different types of vegetables. Dirt roads were the only way in or out of the neighborhood, and you would need a 4X4 if you wanted to drive on them. Or a local taxi driver in a really old Mercedes sedan! The dacha used to be larger, but when great-grandma died, it was separated into three plots for each of the children. Two of the kids split the house evenly. The other kid was rich, building a beautiful large two story American style home on his piece of land, in an apparent effort to outclass everyone else. How did he get rich? He was a government worker in charge of allocating new residential units to citizens. Babushka showed us her “crops” and we sampled them as we tiptoed around the garden plots. I commented that I liked the sweet peas, and immediately a pocketful was picked for me to eat, and I was also sent home that night with a bag full. Tomatoes, strawberries, cherries, potatoes, blackberries, blueberries, redberries, sweet peas, carrots, sweet peppers, corn, lettuce, dill, red cabbage, “simply” cabbage, eggplant, plums, onions, cucumbers, and I think some variety of watercress. No animals whatsoever, although neighbors did have goats. Dyedushka is a real happy guy, married fifty years in a few months, and still going strong at 75. He works during the winter at a school fixing stuff, but during the summer he likes to hang out at the dacha, cutting grass in a vacant field with a sickle, making sure all the contraptions he invented to collect and channel rain water are operating according to specs, and it would not be unheard of to see him spend a few hours enjoying a smoke or two while sitting on the front porch. Near the dacha was the beach, about five minutes by foot. Oxana and I made our way down to the shore, carrying a huge bag of beach stuff, including two blow-up mattresses we floated on for hours in the water. The water was clean and cold, and the beach consisted of an even mix of sand, shells and small pebbles. It was truly a wonderful day. Then, as evening approached, I realized I was badly sunburned. Oxana was fine since she was already tanned thanks to the tanning beds at Master Gym. I was miserable. I made it through the night, barely, and in the morning my beautiful, wonderful, sweetheart fiancée brought me drugs. Two ampoules plus syringes and a blister pack of pills......painkillers which were sold over the counter for about two bucks. Ketanov they were called. Anyway, Oxana REALLY wanted to stick me with a needle, but I opted for the pills instead. I looked up the stuff on the Internet first to make sure it wasn’t only for horses or something, and took 20mg to start. They worked really well! So, Oxana took care of me all that day and the next and the next and the next, bringing me ice cream and Coca Cola Light and cream-filled pastries, and tending to my every need. Wow! It was great! She used this time to call friends that she hadn’t been staying in touch with since I arrived, and also talking to her relatives who by now had been alerted to my condition thanks to Babushka and were calling every hour for a status report. We also watched a bunch of the videos that I had been sending her, recorded from cable TV. Recordings of Trading Spaces, A Baby Story, A Wedding Story, a bunch of those “Top Ten” shows that the Travel Channel does, including Cruise Week and Beaches Week. One day, she decided she would super clean my apartment, while all I could do was lay back in a chair with a fan blowing air on my red blistered skin. After she was finished sanitizing everything in the apartment, she announced that the next time we go to the beach we won’t forget to bring the SPF. I agreed!!!!! So, after several days of the royal treatment, it ended abruptly one morning when I asked her if we had any Coca Cola Light and she started wagging her finger at me and yelling something about her not being my servant and how I’m not sick anymore and how I should just go get my own damn Coca Cola Light. It was a bit of an over-reaction I would say, but it became an immediate joke between us. “I am NOT your servant, baby!!!” was the punch line for every request between us during the day. As an aside, Oxana also told me they sell sleeping pills over the counter too, so I’m thinking they could come in handy during my long flights back home.

Bringing the laptop with me this time was a great idea. If for no other reason, I get to listen to my usual radio station back home over the Internet. After this much time away, you really want to hear the local news, and frankly, just something in English. I saw the ABC News site even offers a video download of their nightly news and some other ABC programs, for a pretty low monthly fee. I might look into that too.

Not much else going on. I can’t wait until Oxana and I can be together in the U.S. and start our real life together.

Muck

[Muckraker]

 

Vladivostok - Trip report

Some interesting things Oxana has said to me over the past weeks:

“Such an elegant man visited me in December. What happened to him?”

“I love you sometimes”

“No, don’t help me clean, it will be more dirty.”

“Whatever a child does, so long as they are not crying” (with reference to my internet usage).

“It is like a pig’s food” (while I was making an omelet for her).

“Sometimes I like it when you are a chatterbox.”

“You need to be more attentive so massage my feet.”

“Don’t PUSH me!!!” (Whenever I gently touch her back while walking).

July 26, 2003- exactly one year ago I received Oxana’s first letter to me on the dreaded Anastasiaweb.com site. So, to celebrate our first “anniversary” we decided to go do something romantic. Apparently the fact that it was the agency owner who actually sent the first letter seems to have been summarily dismissed as an inconsequential detail having no relevance to this special occasion. Anyway, I surprised her in the morning with eleven red roses that I had secretly bought. We spend so much time together; she forgets that I can actually manage transactions fairly well all by myself, so this really impressed her. It is soooo funny to watch her squealing and jumping up and down a little bit when she gets flowers.

So, next we were going to go to a nice restaurant for a romantic dinner. The first choice was Forest Cabin restaurant (Lesnaya Zaimka) about half an hour outside of the city by taxi at 290 Makovskogo (basically across the street from the sailing ship “Welcome to Vladivostok” statute everyone passes on their way into Vladivostock from the airport - phone 38-58-59). This is a great restaurant in the winter, but even better when the weather is warm, because they have an outside dining area. You can sit in the shade surrounded by decorative stone walls while overlooking a beautiful fountain area, or you can sit directly next to the fountain pools (five of them). The beautiful flowers and plants and garden decorations also really make you feel like you are someplace special, along with a nice little garden pond with waterfalls around the side, a great place for a picture. They have a peacock in a large pen, spreading its beautiful tail feathers at you whenever you stop to look. I think you can eat it for about 800 rubles, if you wish. Outside the restaurant around the parking lot is a fenced area with deer, pheasants, a fox, and two cub bears. You can even pet the cub bears if you want through the holes in the fence, but you have nobody to blame if they bite you. Anyway, for this special occasion, we wanted to try a room we discovered on one of our previous visits. There is a special room we call the “Cave” and it only sits one table. The walls of the room are made of rock, there are two fish aquariums inside, and it is located away from the other eating areas. This is the room to get if you want romance and privacy. The problem is that you should reserve this room in advance to be sure it is available, by driving out there and putting some cash down. No problem, an additional 500 ruble expense for round trip taxi. However, once we got there to reserve the room, they told us that because it sits a table for six, there is a problem only reserving it for two people (sorry we didn’t mention that to you on the phone!). Since there is a chance that more than two people will want to use this room on Saturday night, they would prefer not to reserve it to us. This is the kind of stuff that drives me up the wall in Vladivostok. So, it would be a great little room for a romantic dinner, if you can get past the game.

We decided instead to go to a different place we had been thinking about for a while, called “Captain Cook’s” located at 14 Devyataya (331-279). Like Forest Cabin, it is located on the main road outside of town, but best to call for directions because not many taxi drivers know where it is. The restaurant is part of the hotel “Albatross” also located on the property, and they have a blue and white sign on the main road. Anyway, the only reason to mention this place is that they had a really great ourside barbeque area in the back for dining in the nature. However, even better, we discovered there is a little bamboo-roofed hutch set right into the forest off to the right (there is another hut down the stairs but not as nice) that would be perfect for a romantic dinner for two. The prices are a bit high, and it is best to stick to steaks, batter fried shrimp, and the BBQ Buffalo wings.

It stopped raining finally in Vladivostok, so we grabbed the chance to head for the beach. This time, we went to Shamara. For about 300 rubles, a taxi will drive you out there. It is a large beach, about 45 minutes out of town, depending on traffic. Lots of people and there are plenty of little shacks and buildings offering the usual fare and also beach stuff to buy. Anyway, too crowded and noisy for Oxana, so we went to a different beach. After you drive past Shamara beach a couple miles, you will pass a white monument with the word “OKEAN” on it (to the right). Then a green metal fence will begin on the right side of the road, which eventually turns into a guard rail. Once the guard rail ends, about twenty feet down, you will see a huge hunk of cement debris. Well, you simply walk around this cement hunk, down through the forest a ways (there is a trail) and after about ten minutes you will emerge onto a private beach. It is a private resort beach, very beautiful, never crowded, and absolutely breathtaking scenery. Cliffs, trees, rocks, the whole deal. I would say the beach is about 95% brown sand. Anyway, the paved road that leads down here is reserved for the people who stay at the lodges located on top of the cliffs. Also, there is a children’s summer camp here and the children will sometimes take advantage of their private beach area they have staked out (complete with lifeguards!). It is not totally kosher to walk through the forest to come here, but nobody will complain or pay any attention to you. I also liked the fact that there were cops patrolling the beach to make sure everything was secure. In fact, the cops were suspicious of some younger Russian guys that were snorkeling near us, but left us completely alone despite the fact that we were speaking English freely. They just figure we were staying at the lodges, so, whatever. I don’t know how much these lodges cost, but I suspect they are expensive. Anway, we used the beach, as Oxana has been doing for years, and enjoyed probably the best beach day I have ever had in my life. The beach is private because the cliffs cut it off. Well, we took our inflatable mattresses, and floated around the side of one of the cliffs, to see what we could see. We saw many little beaches that were totally cut off by the cliff front. I had the feeling like we were the only people ever to see this side of the beach (which of course isn’t true, but just felt that way). I would have liked to “dock” on one of these little beaches, and check out what was there, but it wasn’t to be. The rocks along the beachfront were too sharp and we were afraid it would pop our floats, as it was difficult to navigate without a paddle or a long stick. Would have been difficult getting back because of the waves and all the shallow rocks along the beach. Anyway, it was dangerous and beautiful at the same time. Back around to the regular beach (glad our stuff was still there), there is a stone military bunker that has been built into the side of the hill/cliff, with two holes where the guns would have pointed. No visible entrance to the interior though, I guess nobody cares that much about checking it out, certainly Oxana couldn’t understand my fascination. The inside would have been cool to check out, maybe find a souvenir or something from those days. So, then I tied a long piece of string to a heavy rock, floated the rock out with me a ways, and dropped it into the sea for our anchor, and just tied it off to us and we floated on the water the rest of the day and into the evening. Anyway, after walking back to the main road, the taxi picked us up as we had pre-arranged, and the day was over. That is going to be one of those days I will think about forever. If you go there, bring a long stick with you and your floating mattresses and some string. Plus some actual sneakers to wear in the water, flip-flops just don’t hack it with all the sharp rocks around.

We decided to start videotaping some of our adventures, so that Oxana and our future kids will have some reference of Vladivostok and our time together. Oxana has a nice videocamera, but I haven’t quite figured out if everything will work back in the U.S. because I don’t have a universal VCR and all the cassette tapes say PAL/SECAM on them, not NTSC. But, we figure we will buy a universal VCR at some point anyway, so no biggie one way or the other.

Three more weeks and then I go back home. It is going to be a very sad day indeed.

Muck

[Muckraker]

Vladivostok - Trip Report - Final Chapter

“You are my baby, I have to feed you so you will get bigger.”

The weather here has finally turned sunny and hot and it hasn’t rained during the day in a while. We have been going to the beach a lot, both at the private beach near Shamara and at Chaiku (where the dacha is). Oxana used up the big bottle of Hawaian Tropic coconut oil I brought with me from San Antonio, and she wishes she had more. We tried to make peanut butter one day from the peanuts they sell on the street, but it didn’t quite work out. Oh well. The hot water has been off for two weeks, but I’ve become used to waking up early and putting a big heating element into the water standing in the bathtub. Takes about three hours to warm up. I use the electric coffee pot for the dishwater. The battery in the family car went out, and since Boris is at sea, I replaced it for Mom after she was off the road for a few weeks wondering what to do. Her gratitude resulted in my having to wear my belt an extra notch larger for a few days, but now I’m officially The Man When Boris Is At Sea.

We found a great little restaurant called “Old Towne” that has an English Tudor theme and decor. Very cozy, very romantic, very good service, very good food. Not cheap, but what else is new here. It is located at 1/10 Semenovskaya (down a side alley), near where Pogranichnaya intersects with Semenovskaya (phone # 20-52-94). Next-door is a really great bakery that sells the best poppy seed sweet rolls you will ever eat (when you eat pastries at Nostalgia, this is the bakery that supplies them).

Hyundai Sky Bar stopped having the Friday night buffets, claiming it was not profitable. DUH!

Gorky Theater closes for the entire month of August each year because ........actually, I don’t know why. Someone is resting I guess.

Arbat (Fokina St.) piazza has been elongated all the way up to Okeansky, so now you can stroll directly down to the embankment from here, passing nice shops and such. Yves Rocher is along here, where you will find a nice assortment of French scented bath soaps and body cremes, along with gift baskets filled with this type of stuff guaranteed to make your lady really happy (about fifty bucks) or they will create one for you. Just a tip, in case something different is called for.

Making plans for the ceremonial wedding in January has kept us very busy. Things that are very simple back in the U.S. are just so complicated here. The constant explaining everything over and over again really gets you down. It wears me out. I’ve learned a lot about the mindset here though. We are getting “married” in the Catholic church, then a limousine will take us around downtown for the pictures, then to Mom and Dad’s for the bread ceremony, then back to the limo for pictures outside of town, then to Hyundai’s Sky Bar for the reception (rented it out for the day). We have very secretly found out what the first dance songs were from Oxana’s parent’s wedding as well as Babushka’s/Dyedushka’s. It was a little bit tough, but after a few nights on the Internet talking to various sources, I found and ordered the music, which will be played as a special dance for each of them. The cake took forever to figure out, turns out raw eggs whites are dangerous so nobody will make Royal Icing here. We had several small sample cakes made, but they all looked terrible with the usual frosting. Finally, we hooked up with the actual owner of the bakery that Oxana likes. The owner travels to the U.S. every other month to buy products for her bakery and next trip she will be buying the stuff she needs to make the cake look perfect (a marzipan mastic you put on first). Just when Oxana wants to give up on whatever thing she really wants, I keep pushing ahead and eventually we strike pay dirt and find it or get it the way we want or for the price we are willing to pay (actually, her parents are paying for much of it). Oxana just couldn’t be any happier that we were able to make everything she wanted come true for the budget we were working with. She also just coos with pleasure when she thinks about my special effort in making the wedding plans perfect.

I leave Vladivostok tomorrow, the summer is officially over for me. What a great time Oxana and I had. Today we found a nice flat rock at the beach and wrote a special message on it with a shell, wrapped it in plastic, and buried it deep into the ground near some markers we can find again. We have agreed to come back in two years during the summer to dig it up and take it back to our home in the U.S. I said goodbye to Babushka, a very kind and proud woman, who suffered through great tragedy in her seventy years. I worry about her much.

There are definitely things about Oxana that are 100% Russian, but she is just a girl who has fallen in love with me, and I for her. All of the relatives tell her she just beams when she is around me. Her mom is worried about how Oxana will handle my leaving, consequently Mom will be driving us to the airport in her car (but sitting in the car while we go inside) because she knows Oxana will need a shoulder to cry on immediately after I leave. It is not going to be easy for me either, not one bit. This is the only downside that I can see about our decision to spend this time together - it is so much harder to separate again. It is simply not natural. But, I know in my heart that Oxana is the only girl for me, and I will not let anything stand in the way of having a life together in the U.S. We will always have this first summer together in Vladivostok, and these memories will keep us going until January when we can be together forever.

The next months are going to be incredibly complicated for me; consequently, I won’t be posting any more here. After the honeymoon, when we are settled, I will post an update in the Already Married section.

Good luck to everyone on this adventure, Oxana and I have been on a crazy ride so far, but I can’t wait to tell our grandchildren all about it sometime.

Best wishes,

Muckraker

[Muckraker]

 

Vladivostok Trip #4

Spencer had said that a couple of people had been asking about me and now that I have a lot more time on my hands since I'm back in Vladivostok here is an update.

The past ten weeks have been a blur. I left Russia at the end of the summer with no hitches, excluding the depression that started because Oxana was not with me and not knowing when we would be together again. Based on when the interview date was set, any number of scenarios could take place. We were trying to figure out if we needed to get together again before the interview was scheduled, or just hang in there until the interview date when I would meet her in Moscow. I was able to get a consulting position thanks to some contacts from my prior life. It was really fortunate - more money, less responsibility, freedom to head back to Russia when I wanted. I spent ten weeks waking up at 4am to call Oxana, and then heading off to work, while spending lunch breaks, evenings and weekends working on getting things together for the wedding ceremony in Russia. I shipped box after box of silk flowers, ribbons, candles, wedding magazines, invitations (printed in Cyrillic), silk rose petals, fondant icing (for the wedding cake), fancy paper, glue, tape, decorations, etc., and included within each was the mandatory jar of Honey Roast Crunch peanut butter. I was easily able to shed a couple of pounds that I had gained over the summer (due to Oxana's scrumptious cooking) because I was even too busy to remember to eat.

TSC had approved our petition August 12th (1st NOA April 9th) and then NSC finished their administrative review September 26th. Oxana received her packet on October 18th that indicated an interview date of November 13th. The Moscow Embassy website never did post the interview date, which would have been a nice heads up since I had to scramble to get my business visa in time. So, we decided to meet in Moscow for a week, attend the interview, and then I would head back to Vladivostok for six weeks until the wedding ceremony. Since Oxana's father would not return from his ship's duties until the end of December, we set a date for January 3rd, 2004 for the wedding ceremony in Vladivostok. Technically, this is simply an "engagement ceremony" according to the Catholic Church in Vladivostok and for Russian government purposes, but it will be just like a wedding with the dress, rings, etc.

With tickets and visa in hand, I headed off to New York to start the journey. I obtained a business visa from Red Star Travel in Seattle. They provided superior service, kept me abreast of the progress, always answered the telephone, had answers to my questions immediately - everything. As promised, the visa arrived 13 business days after I submitted the request via their online system (which started the invitation process with Ministry) and then following up by mailing them my passport and photograph. I bought all the airline tickets from Aeroflot at the Seattle office (except for getting to New York which I got for free thanks to a friend) and had Oxana's ticket to Moscow telexed to her in Vladivostok.

The flight leaving New York was six hours late taking off, which meant I missed meeting Oxana at SVO1. I was able to contact her at her mobile phone before she took off, so she simply went directly to Novotel SVO2 after she landed using their free shuttle bus. I had provided myself a five hour window to land, get through passport control/customs, get to the hotel to clean up, then over to SVO1 to meet her. Aeroflot, once again, let me down, and I should have known better than to trust them with what should have been a special moment. To make things worse, Novotel gave Oxana a hard time about checking in, even though she had the cash just to pay for the room, and a copy of the reservations with her name on it, my actual credit card that I used to secure the reservation, and an explanation of what was going on. I had even called Novotel while on the ground from New York to let them know she would be checking in by herself due to the flight delay and they assured me everything would be fine. So, they made Oxana wait in the lobby for an hour, and then eventually they let her get our room.

After I landed at SVO2, I called Novotel and they put me through to Oxana. She was just incredibly excited and wanted me to get to the hotel immediately. I was really happy; it was like a dream that was finally coming true. In a few more minutes, we would be together for the rest of our lives.

I found the new stop for the Novotel shuttle bus at SVO2, and soon I was hugging and kissing my sweetheart and love of my life. When she opened the door of the hotel room, she had the biggest smile on her face and was hopping up and down like it was Christmas morning or something. It is amazing how much more beautiful she gets with each visit. So, now we are together again, and this time no more long goodbyes between us. The adventure of our life together really began that night.

The next morning, we transferred downtown to the Novotel Moscow City Center for the balance of the week. So, we did some sightseeing in Moscow, and Oxana was my guide since she had been here many times before. Mostly we went to Red Square and also saw the "Ramonda" ballet at the Bolshoi, and the Pushkin Art Museum. We also went to a few McDonald's restaurants because Oxana loves the milkshakes and now she loves the McFlurries even more. It was a nice survey trip of Moscow, but we were really there just to spend time together after our separation, and the main focus of the trip was the interview (we went to DHL for the pre-paid receipt, but didn't spend any time at medical facilities because Oxana had already had her medicals done in Vladivostok). I liked Moscow very much, it was modern and the services and shops were far better than in Vladivostok, with far less trash and junk everywhere. I have no doubt that Oxana and I will be going back to Moscow for vacations in the years to come.

Finally the day of the interview arrived. We had been having a hard time getting to sleep all during this week, and the night before the interview was no exception. I don't know if it was jet lag or just the excitement of being together, but I was running on about two hours of sleep a night the whole week. We got a taxi to the Embassy (an old building that is painted two tone orange and yellow), and even though this week had been unusually mild, this morning it was cold. We waited in line at the north end of the Embassy (this is all the way to the right hand side if you were standing facing the Embassy) along with people that were waiting for their tourist visa appointments. Various babushkas were offering flyers advertising travel services. We had an 8am time-slot so we were there about 7:30 am and there were about ten people ahead of us at that time. At 8am, the Russian contract security guards (I don't know what ever happened to the Marine Corps Embassy Guards, I guess those guys have better things to do) started letting people in. I of course presented my U.S. passport and myself and acted appalled that they wouldn't let me in, but, they had machine guns, so what can a guy do? I gave Oxana her purse and paperwork, and she went inside the Embassy. Anyway, while back assuming my position at the north end, Oxana comes up behind me at about 9:30am, telling me everything is finished and that they will mail the visa to us in Vladivostok. I was really happy that it was all over and also I was pretty happy because I was really getting cold. You really need to bring a lot of warm clothes for this waiting around in the Moscow winter stuff. She told me that she was the first one interviewed, and that she was really upset that they had been so rude to her. The Consul asked her why she wanted to marry me, and she responded that she loved me, so the Consul followed up with "But that is not good enough. Tell me why you love him" and then Oxana told him that it is impossible to put all of the characteristics into words. He also asked her if she was going to work, and after Oxana said "No" he asked why. Oxana told him that we were going to have babies and that she was going to take care of them while I worked. It upset Oxana that this was taking place in full hearing of everyone else. As Oxana would say "But anyway, it is finished" So, we went back to the hotel to get some sleep. After a couple of hours, Oxana's mobile phone rang, it was her mother calling from Vladivostok. The Embassy had called her in Vladivostok, please call them back, a document is missing. Great, I knew it. So, we called the Embassy at the number they gave Oxana's mom, and an FSN answered, and he told us that the missing document was the original I-129F petition. We looked though our files, and lo and behold, they had accidentally given this back to Oxana. Yes, we would come to the Embassy and give it to them, but can Muckraker come inside with me? Sure! So much for the security risk. So, we headed back down to the Embassy, and this time I was let in immediately (the FSN had prepped the guards to let me in).

So, after we gave them the I-129F petition, we went back to the hotel and breathed a sigh of relief. It was finally over. We had one more day in Moscow, which we spent just looking at the shops and fighting with Aeroflot at their Bonus Points Center regarding certificates for free nights at Novotel SVO2 which never seem to materialize despite months of waiting. It was really fun the next day taking a plane ride with Oxana back to Vladivostok. We watched movies on my portable DVD player, bought a small bottle of Baileys Irish Creme and toasted our success. It was a fun, cool way to spend nine hours together.

Back in Vladivostok, I rented the really nice apartment where I had also stayed in March, but no hot water until February because the whole city is experiencing some kind of water and energy issue. Why they aren't rioting in the streets I'll never understand. It is not that big of a deal; you just have to plan ahead with heating water up manually. The washing machine already has a heater built into it to warm up the water, so I'm in pretty good shape there. We have all the wedding stuff in one of the empty rooms, and have started crafting everything together - today was a bouquet for the table, tomorrow will be sending out the invitations. This will be my life until January 3rd, just getting stuff ready for the wedding. Vladivostok is pretty much the same, just much colder. Buses went up to 7 rubles a ride. Today it snowed, and it is just beautiful as it reminds me of the trip in December when I first met Oxana.

Muck.

[Muckraker]

Vladivostok Trip #4

The visa/passport arrived today via DHL, so one less thing to worry about. It is strange to wake up every morning now and NOT starting to think about the visa interview.

The busses here didn't really go up to 7 rubles, apparently the drivers decided they needed a raise so they posted higher prices without city approval and have been keeping the difference.

They are saying that the cold water will also be getting shut off soon, leaving me with no options for water. That is going to be a real pain.

Life is good!

Muck

[Muckraker]

 

Vladivostok Trip #4

January 3, 2004

The day of the wedding ceremony finally arrived. Oxana and I were both exhausted – we basically had to make the wedding arrangements by ourselves. It was as if the closer the day came, the more troubles people wanted to make for us. Prices changed, arrangements we had made suddenly fell through, etc. It would have been better to arrange everything about two weeks prior to the ceremony. Welcome to Russia! We had decided that we no longer cared about the wedding ceremony; we simply wanted to get out of Vladivostok and start our life together. The week before the ceremony Oxana and I ate some bad pork and we got sick. We recovered by the next morning, however her Dad received medical advice from the next-door neighbor’s cousin’s friend and started injecting Oxana, himself and his wife with some kind of anti-inflammatory stuff. This resulted in all of them getting sick. The more they injected each other, the sicker they got. Finally, the day before the wedding, I told Oxana to refuse “treatment” and the next morning she was fine. Oxana’s parents remained deathly ill. The wedding was a great way to learn a lot more about the family. The first thing I realized is that many relatives did not consider this to be “our day” but rather “their opportunity”. As in, they wanted to get something out of our wedding. Oxana and I had made some really nice arrangements. Everyone was very impressed with the Catholic Church ceremony; they had never seen such a ceremony before. The bread ceremony back at the apartment was interesting, but my champagne glass didn’t break (that is what happens when they tell you to toss the glass over your head onto a patch of dirt) which was apparently a bad omen for us. Oxana took the bigger bite of bread – so I guess that means she gets be the boss of the family – whew! Going around town to take pictures was a bit of a fiasco; we both cut this short after a few locations. Rather than help Oxana with her poofy dress, the bridesmaids mostly stayed with the mini bus we provided because that was where the free champagne and chocolates were. So, by ourselves, the cold weather and mud were not conducive to Oxana walking around in a white wedding dress. We headed to the hotel room at Hyundai early for a breather, to get the dress ironed and for the hairdresser to secretly fix Oxana’s hair again. This had to be secret because otherwise all the female guests would have been knocking down our door for free hairdressing. We went to the top floor of our hotel (Hyundai) to Sky Bar where the tamada we had hired (a great tradition – kind of like an MC with funny games and costumes) announced us to a shower of silk rose petals and the reception started. Most of the silk rose petals had already made it into the bags of a few of the guests. We got some really great gifts, especially from the “family” members wearing the shiny Italian suits. I was surprised. With the fat envelope of $100’s I got from Oxana’s father, we actually came out ahead on our expenses! If we had to do it over again, I would try to have someone keep the drunks from constantly coming up to us saying “I LOVE YOU” over and over and over and over. The tamada had these guys wearing dresses, wigs and bras most of the night. Laughing at the alcoholics was an unexpected event. It was sooo funny! Or as the Russians would say “We were laughing, but on the inside we were crying.” We had our special romantic moments, and there were plenty of funny things going on, and everyone had a good time. Dydedushka and Babushka danced to their original wedding dance song, a real hit back in 1949! Babushka cried, Dyedushka sang the words at the top of his lungs during the dance.  They just couldn't figure out how we knew the name of the song and how we found it. When it was time, we left for the night and we THANKED GOD it was over. At the time, we had felt that our wedding day had been kind of a blur and we weren’t really that excited about it. However, after we watched the wedding video VCD on the plane to Moscow, we were really very happy with how everything turned out.

The next day we went over to the parent’s apartment for the “second day” feast. This is where only the closest family members are invited and you basically eat the leftover food and booze. We didn’t have any leftover food because the hotel restaurant catered it, so Oxana’s parents ordered a whole bunch of Chinese food. It was great! Oxana and I had only a few glasses of champagne during the wedding, but everyone else was hung over and taking little naps all day. The second day was worth staying around for – Oxana had wanted us to stay in town, as it was a more intimate setting for saying goodbye to those who knew us best. Plus, it was a good time for everyone to gossip about those people who weren’t invited, which was fine with me (at least they weren’t gossiping about our wedding plans anymore). After Oxana and I left for the night (we were leaving for the airport in the morning), Oxana’s mom caught a few of the relatives filling up their plastic bags with Oxana’s stuff from her bedroom. Again, our wedding was more about what some people could “get” from us than anything else.

The next morning, we left for the airport. About ten family members were coming to the airport with us. Our favorite little cousin (who was the flower girl), a 10 year old, did not wish to join them as she said, “Everyone will be crying and there is no reason – she is simply going to live with her husband.” Boy, was she ever right. It was like Oxana was never coming back or something. On the way through the airline gate, I was turned back for not having my visa registered. This meant we actually had TWO tearful farewells from the family, as we passed through the gate the second time (after paying a 1,000 ruble fine). It hit me as we were getting on the bus to the plane. We were finally together. She was my wife.

We landed in Moscow and stayed at the airport Novotel before heading to New York. We had been here just a couple of months before (for the visa interview) but now I felt much stronger about the situation. I wasn’t just some guy waiting on a fiancée visa. Her family saw us get married, and now she was coming with me to the U.S., and it felt sooooo right. It is hard to describe the feelings I had as we were flying to New York. I was very excited. I was worried. I was fearful that things between us would be different. I was worried about her expectations. I would let all this stuff run through my head over and over and then I would ask Oxana “Hey, honey, are you worried?” and she would just look at me and say “No, I’m fine, stop freaking out.”

Inspection at JFK went like this - after we got off the plane, a USCIS agent directed us to the correct line where an inspection officer took Oxana’s manila envelope and her passport with the I-94 we filled out on the plane. She asked Oxana a few questions, which I had to translate into Muckraker because Oxana could not understand the gutter English this lady was speaking. What is the purpose of your visit? When are you getting married (we were careful not to say anything about the ceremony in Vladivostok). Then they laser-scanned Oxana’s fingerprints and told us to go wait in a big room directly ahead (and give your documents to the guys behind the tall desk). About ten minutes later, the guy called Oxana’s name and gave us back her passport. He had stamped the I-94 form “Employment Authorized” and stapled it to the visa page of the passport, as well as stamped the passport and I-94 with a date three months ahead. We went to get our luggage, and soon we were in a taxi heading towards the hotel.

We stayed at a hotel on Times Square (Novotel) and it was really great. We saw all the usual tourist stuff, including “Aida” on Broadway, had brunch at the Rainbow Room, and went shopping for some shoes and makeup. It was unusually cold there, so it hampered our plans somewhat. Oxana was not a big fan of NYC, saying that the city was gray, and all the buildings were like tombstones.

We left the “city of tombstones” for Orlando, FL a week later to visit my folks and to catch some sun. She LOVED it there. She thought the nature was just great, and she loved the fact that it was warm outside. This was the first time she saw me drive a car, and I think she really enjoyed this part the most. We just drove around, checking stuff out. We spent a day at Islands of Adventure, saw Cirque du Soleil, checked out the beaches in Sarasota (she just couldn’t believe how white the sand was). We had a really great time in Florida. My folks were also great, they really loved Oxana and they kept telling me how nice she was. There was never even a hint of negativity. It was kind of a interesting when my Dad pulled out a binder full of old programs for the Bolshoi dated early sixties and Oxana started telling me excitedly about the famous actors that were listed (my parents lived in Moscow during that time). It made her feel a connection to my parents; listening to their stories about Moscow and the people they knew. When it was time to head to San Antonio (we were going to drive) my parents loaded up the rental car with so many gifts we barely had room for our own luggage.

The road trip to San Antonio was pretty fun. We stopped at Gulf Shores, AL for a couple of days, it wasn’t warm enough to swim or anything but fine to walk up and down the beach. It was fun stopping at motels and little fast food places and just enjoying the scenery. I have to say, the best thing I bought was a mini DV video camera. The people back in Russia were really excited to get copies of things we did during this time. I just hooked up the video camera to my computer and burned the digital tape to a CD (VCD format) that they can then watch on their computers.

Back in San Antonio we simply started living our lives. I started teaching her to drive (she has an international license). She wanted a small, black car so we bought a 2000 Toyota Corolla. She likes to drive fast and doesn’t listen to anything I say. So, I pretty much have to let her learn for herself. I do keep my hand on the handbrake though, while I casually say things like “Yeah, this cement bench is where you will be waiting for your bus if you get a speeding ticket.” That usually slows her down – which is funny because she rode the bus every day in Vladivostok. It doesn’t take long for the “American” way of life to kick in. Now she wants a bright red big SUV.

I wasn’t born or raised in the U.S., so I had a good bit of understanding on what it is like to move here as an adult. Oxana was definitely a little bit confused initially. She stuck to me like glue whenever we were out walking together. Eventually she started talking to the grocery store clerks. One day we went to Victoria’s Secret to buy a strapless bra and I told her that she should try to handle everything, including paying with her credit card. I also told her that I had no idea about what to say to her hairdresser and manicurist so she handled this herself too. This gave her much more confidence. I decided not to go back to work for a while until I felt that she was ready. It was a difficult decision at the time. I had always justified the time I spent in Vladivostok by saying I would hit the bricks hard once we got back. However, once we arrived, I realized how important it was that I stay at home for a while. I did not want her sit at home all day because she was too scared to go anywhere or talk to people, or too scared to drive to places by herself. So, I am hopeful that a certain employment situation will work out, while at the same time I feel like our life together is only pushing me towards starting my own office. Meeting Oxana changed everything in my life, I think for the better.

I did my best to bring a little bit of Russia to Oxana. I kept pushing her to call her parents on the phone every couple days until one day she told me to lay off. She likes to call them about once a week. This is also the first time she has lived away from her parents and I think she likes her independence, much to the dismay of her parents who would like us (and our future children) to live with them forever in one big house. I bought her a new computer just for herself and she enjoyed listening to the Vladivostok radio for a month or so. Eventually she got bored of this. She likes to order romance novels from some of the internet Russian book stores. She has not been able to find any “good” clothes locally, but her Mom went shopping in Moscow and mailed us a big box of new clothes so she is set for the summer. She is starting to find some sources for clothes on the Internet. I bought some DVDs that we could watch together (Russian with English subtitles) and these were fun for a while. Now she likes to watch the dating shows on regular television and the Travel Channel. She spent a few weeks putting together a wedding album (1,500 photographs) and getting reprints of the best ones to mail back home (my job was to scan every photograph so we could burn them onto CDs). At first she was very negative about American food and the lack of her Russian foods. Over time, she has come to admit that food here is better, but she still misses some of the tastes that she grew up with. In Russia she was told so many things in America were bad. Now she discounts anything Russians tell her about America. She sent back a bunch of food items to her relatives in Vladivostok to prove the point. She loves it here, and I’m thinking she is really going to settle down over the next few months. I, on the other hand, want to go back to Vladivostok in the worst way. I think I suffered more homesickness for Vladivostok than Oxana.

We had our “legal” wedding ceremony in a Catholic church in Texas. It was a bit anticlimactic, since the Russia wedding was such a blowout. My parents came and a bunch of relatives were there and they all loved Oxana. We did not experience any nastiness whatsoever from them, I think they simply fell in love with her. They all knew that I had made a real commitment to her, but more importantly, that I had made it very clear in my dealings with other relatives what would happen if they were anything less than cordial. We were glad when the reception was over; sometimes you just want to be alone with each other! We also went to a few lunches with former associates of mine from work. Again, everyone there was very curious and interested in speaking with her. I did find myself thinking more than a few times that these people were simply out-classed by Oxana. I quickly grew weary of their questions. Yes, my wife has seen the mall and the grocery store and believe it or nor she did not fall to her knees in praise.

Anyway, that is where we stand for now. We are simply going to live our lives and the next issue will be what happens when I’m working during the week. Then we will want to help Oxana’s parents with their transition to Vancouver and then possibly we will take a trip to Moscow in the summer.

Regards,

Muck

[Muckraker]

Update

June 10, 2006

Oxana and I are doing well, and expecting a little girl at the end of October.  So much has happened during the past couple of years, but the bottom line is that I don’t think it is any different than any other new married couple.  I can’t imagine how difficult it would have been had we not shared all that time together in Vladivostok and made a real commitment to each other before ever stepping foot here as husband and wife.

Oxana went back to Vladivostok for a visit, primarily to see Babushka. Dyedushka passed away from liver cancer.  This explains why he told Oxana that they would never see each other again when she left after the wedding.  His wish was for Oxana not to travel back to see him in the hospital so nobody told Oxana about his death until ten days after the funeral.  I fear it has forever changed the relationship that Oxana had with her family in Vladivostok.  She enjoyed seeing Vladivostok and her friends again, but she says she won't go back again without me. 

A year ago, my father became sick, and we decided to move to Orlando to be closer to him.  Although I love and miss San Antonio, I wanted to be near my dad.  He passed away a few months ago, and it will always warm my heart to know that he was so approving of my choice for a wife.  Oxana and Dad were great friends.  Her dearest treasure is his secret recipe book, that he gave to her.

We are staying in Orlando to be near my mom and because we love it here.  Oxana is thriving. We will build a house in a few years. We couldn’t be happier.

Oxana’s parents made the move to Vancouver and are doing well, although they are constantly hoping that they will be able to come live under our roof forever.  Natasha still hasn’t learned English, and Boris isn’t making what he used to make in Russia. We hope that they will be able to properly prepare themselves for immigrating to the U.S. in a few years.  This is a difficult place to live without a decent job, which requires a good knowledge of English and marketable skills. Oxana visits them fairly often, and always comes running back home.  They will be visiting Orlando from Thanksgiving to New Year, to see the baby. 

Regards,

Muck

[jb]

Muckraker,

My very best regards to you and "Oxana".  I loved the part about the new baby coming.

I've just spent a few very pleasurable minutes re-reading your trip reports from Vladivostok, I had read them all on the other board on first go-around.  Well done...  My only concern is that you guys may never return to San Antonio, it would be our permanent loss.

Your saga differs from our own story only in that we are somewhat older than you and your wife.  However, we share the same age gap as you and Oxana, and we did all the same hoop jumping in order to marry in Russia.  I can relate to everything you said WRT getting married in Russia, including relatives stocking up on goodies at the wedding.  Amazing~!

I really, truly, believe such stories as yours, a story of such an epic romantic adventure is enormously helpful to the newbies, these stories can only enhance the mystique of marriage to a Russian doll.  I know of only a few men who have done this project so right.  You, CaptB, AJ, and even perhaps myself, we who made so many journeys in the pursuit of our marriages can understand how much this cost in terms of the sacrifice in time, money, livelihood, career opportunity, and sheer determination.  Certainly, no one who counts himself a OWW can ever tell a story to top yours.   

This set of trip reports is definitely a classic.

[Muckraker]

Amelia Alina Muckraker
Born November 5, 2006
9 pounds, 7 ounces.
21 inches.

 

[jb]

Simply beautiful...

[Jet]

Lovely little girl Muck!
You must be very very proud 
Congradulations