Are legit girls sometimes hesitant to do Skype calls?

[wrf101]

Wow I'm learning a lot thanks guys! I'll ask for her number and see what happens.

BTW the majority of girls are cool with giving out skype or at least viber or a phone #. But I've talked to enough ladies to see that the ones that are hesitant to skype may not be all be scammers (but like someone on here said, all scammers will not skype).

So in the last week on the websites I've been using I found 4 scammers. To their credit the website I use deleted 2 of them before I even figured out they were scammers. The rest have either given me viber/skype or the letters were sincere but fizzled out either on my end or theirs. It's all part of the game. I think no matter which way we slice it, there's risk. Such is the game of love.

One girl I was 7 minutes late for our skype date and she was PISSED even though I apologized profusely. Now she wants to video chat again but her hot temper is a huge red flag for me. Too bad because she's almost a 10 in the looks department. I just can't imagine being with someone who flys off the handle any time I'm a few minutes late for something. There's all types of girls out there, including crazy ones, I suppose. I am chatting regularly with 4 that are very nice.

One Ukrainian girl I video skyped with and she lives in Dubai right now, and I said I could stop by Dubai after Ukraine and she said "only come to Dubai" but then said I was her "friend" so she told me about the other guys she skype chatted with and how weird they were. I didn't quite understand why she'd give out mixed signals, telling me to only visit her and no one else, then say we're 'friends' so it's ok to talk about other guys?

I'm telling you this in case I'm making mistakes that are a no-no in Ukrainian culture. I may not be making mistakes, and maybe these 2 girls are just nutty, but I'm open to suggestions! Thanks!

[msmobyone]

Once again, what is your definition of a 'scammer' ?

If you mean a fake profile and this 'offends' you - how do you know they aren't using someone else's photos and learning how to make a better profile - they may have read your 'advice' ? ....

To me a 'legit girl'  was someone who was seeking what I sought ..  Knowing the answer is very much a combination of time put in, luck, meeting for real and time.

I still think there might be a plausible reason(s) for not wanting to move to video chatting as fast as some might want.

[oso]

[quote
One girl I was 7 minutes late for our skype date and she was PISSED even though I apologized profusely.
[/quote]

You were late with the call. That being said, you deserved a taste of wrath from a FSUW. You will not be late to call next time, yes?

I would not call this a red flag for sure. I would Skype her again, but be on time. See how things change. Most of these women are very forgiving. Once you unhinge one, let her blow up, it does pass.

Also I think tasting the wrath of one of these women is good. It will help you to know what to expect when she comes un-glued....

[ML]

One girl I was 7 minutes late for our skype date and she was PISSED even though I apologized profusely.  Too bad because she's almost a 10 in the looks department.

There is your answer.

[oso]

The word almost only counts in horse shoes, hand grenades and atom bombs.....

[ML]

The word almost only counts in horse shoes, hand grenades and atom bombs.....

Do you know what ososo means in Japanese ?

[2tallbill]

Wow I'm learning a lot thanks guys! I'll ask for her number and see what happens.

BTW the majority of girls are cool with giving out skype or at least viber or a phone #. But I've talked to enough ladies to see that the ones that are hesitant to skype may not be all be scammers (but like someone on here said, all scammers will not skype).

So in the last week on the websites I've been using I found 4 scammers. To their credit the website I use deleted 2 of them before I even figured out they were scammers. The rest have either given me viber/skype or the letters were sincere but fizzled out either on my end or theirs. It's all part of the game. I think no matter which way we slice it, there's risk. Such is the game of love.

One girl I was 7 minutes late for our skype date and she was PISSED even though I apologized profusely. Now she wants to video chat again but her hot temper is a huge red flag for me. Too bad because she's almost a 10 in the looks department. I just can't imagine being with someone who flys off the handle any time I'm a few minutes late for something. There's all types of girls out there, including crazy ones, I suppose. I am chatting regularly with 4 that are very nice.

One Ukrainian girl I video skyped with and she lives in Dubai right now, and I said I could stop by Dubai after Ukraine and she said "only come to Dubai" but then said I was her "friend" so she told me about the other guys she skype chatted with and how weird they were. I didn't quite understand why she'd give out mixed signals, telling me to only visit her and no one else, then say we're 'friends' so it's ok to talk about other guys?

I'm telling you this in case I'm making mistakes that are a no-no in Ukrainian culture. I may not be making mistakes, and maybe these 2 girls are just nutty, but I'm open to suggestions! Thanks!

I would probably pass on any girl who lives in Dubai, call me judgmental if you wish,
same with raging temper girl. These girls right now are on their best behavior none
of these traits are going to get better with time, they will only get worse.

Do I understand you correctly? that you are planning to meet several girls?
If so, you are using visit one tactics for a visit many strategy.

[Larry1]

I would probably pass on any girl who lives in Dubai, call me judgmental if you wish,
same with raging temper girl. These girls right now are on their best behavior none
of these traits are going to get better with time, they will only get worse.

I agree with Bill. There are a few FSUW who have ferocious and hair-triggered tempers. I don't enjoy relationships with people who have such quick tempers.

[SANDRO43]

I would probably pass on any girl who lives in Dubai

And in Gulf states and Turkey, most work in the tourist and the ... "entertainment" industry .

[BillyB]

One girl I was 7 minutes late for our skype date and she was PISSED even though I apologized profusely.

Two mistakes. Apologizing profusely makes you look weak and guilty. The other is making a mistake that didn't have to happen. You can Skype on your smartphone so send her a message you're running behind. Shows her that you are polite and a gentleman. I tell my older son who has a habit of being late and full of excuses nobody is impressed. Next time you have to apologize, do it once and let the women yap all she wants to get it out of her system. If she can't get it out of her system in fair amount of time, tell her "I apologized and I want us to have a pleasant conversation. Can we talk another time?" You should make a habit of being the first to leave a conversation anyway. When I call ladies, no matter how beautiful they are, most of the time, I'm the first to end the conversation. 

her hot temper is a huge red flag for me.

How long was she angry for? The whole Skype session? When my wife is angry at something, she gets over it in a few hours or less. If that woman lets her anger brew for days or weeks, then that is a problem. If she got angry for a few minutes, nothing to worry about. She's human. If she's young and has maturity issues, with the right man, she will mature.


 

she's almost a 10 in the looks department.

She's used to constant attention from men. Many of those men are "yes" men and she's used to getting her way. Most 10's go through a different experience in life than their sisters so they develop a different attitude. Most 10's need love and they could be as good a wife and mother as other women. Once a 10 respects and looks up to you, she will melt in your hands.

One Ukrainian girl I video skyped with and she lives in Dubai right now, and I said I could stop by Dubai after Ukraine and she said "only come to Dubai" but then said I was her "friend" so she told me about the other guys she skype chatted with and how weird they were. I didn't quite understand why she'd give out mixed signals, telling me to only visit her and no one else, then say we're 'friends' so it's ok to talk about other guys?

Everybody is free to talk to who they want on the internet. You both aren't in an exclusive relationship. It's okay for the woman to ask you to visit only her. It then becomes your choice but she may ask many men that. Is she such a quality woman that it's worth spending your whole vacation with her? Based on your plans to visit many, I guess not. It's your life and future, do what's best for you based on your limited vacation time.

I would probably pass on any girl who lives in Dubai,

I found my wife in Libya. When making my decision with all the girls at home I dated and the girls I communicated overseas, the quality of woman factors into my decision more than where she lives. Fortunately smy wife was on vacation in Ukraine when we decided to meet. I was sweating the thought of having to get a tourist visa to Libya with Ghaddafi running the show. I had thoughts of being on worldwide news with blade to my throat and denouncing America.


With wrf's decision to visit many, he should skip Dubai when he can get more production from staying in one city. When a guy does VM, it usually means none of the girls he's communicating with stands above the rest.

And in Gulf states and Turkey, most work in the tourist and the ... "entertainment" industry .

  I know a lot of Filipinos work in the Middle East as housekeepers and other blue collar jobs. Many Ukrainian nurses and doctors go to work over there because of better pay. Now don't scare the newbies away giving them the impression they could be communicating with a hooker. But it can happen and there have been some guys here who married a hooker.

[msmobyone]

And in Gulf states and Turkey, most work in the tourist and the ... "entertainment" industry .

Oh,PLEASE..

I know several ladies - friends who live on the holiday island of Cyprus - they work for Russian companies taking advantage of Cyprus' taxation laws. These ladies are smart, intelligent and chose a great place to live


Turkey

Many Russians holiday there, may be buy a place there or choose to live there after a divorce

Dubai

Same as Cyprus - just as likely to have met a guy who worked/ lived there and it didn't work out or worked for an international trading corporation.


Frankly, it is a little demeaning / insulting / ignorant to suggest l FSUW living in the Levant / middle-east  / far east are 'Natasha's' - Turkish term for prostitute

[wrf101]

Moby the girls I referred to as scammers - I say that because the dating site I used deleted their profiles, and when I asked management why, they said it is because they were scammers. They were acting a little weird with their letters, so that's good enough for me.

I define a scammer as someone who intends to commit fraud i.e. use deceptive acts to steal or con money from someone. Not merely someone briefly putting up a fake profile to conduct research

The girl in Dubai has a master's degree, speaks fluent English, goes to church twice a month, has a cheerful disposition, and works in mid-level management at an international shipping company. She is nothing but classy and high quality. Her mind is sharp as a whip. She wants to quit her job to raise a family and I think that's awesome.

I'm going let the hair-triggered girl go. I'd prefer a moderately attractive sweetheart over a super-hot bitchy diva any day of the week. The Dubai girl is just as pretty as the bitchy girl. A real knockout.

There was a psychological study done that interviewed thousands of married couples to find out what made marriages happy. There were two common threads that came up over and over again. The first commonality was happy marriages had spouses who both gave each other attention (active listening and conversation) when attention was requested by either spouse.

The other common factor was if your spouse always assumed you did something disrespectful or bad when (the example they used) you were late or their was a miscommunication, then those marriages had a much higher divorce rate compared to spouse's that give their s.o. the benefit of the doubt when something goes wrong (i.e. if you're late home from work they assume there was bad traffic or something outside of one's control, instead of thinking the s.o. was lazy, irresponsible, etc.) So this girl thinking right off the bat that I was disrespecting her is a really bad sign IMO even though it doesn't seem like much on its face.

Quite honestly I would have been ok with a little 'why are you late' attitude, I deserved it. But she really went too far I think. I mean 7 minutes is late yes, but not by much. It's about as minor an offence as you can commit. So the punishment didn't fit the crime. Basically she gave me an earful on chat and refused to do the video call (I video chatted with her previously, so I know she's a real girl and not just trying to get out of video chat). She forgave me later but good grief.

Right now I'm narrowing my list down. My trip is in 7 weeks and most likely at that point I will only visit 1-3 girls. I've only been writing/skyping these ladies for 10 days. Starting with many to narrow it down to a few, or one. So I don't consider it a WMVM strategy at all. More like WMVO. It's the exact strategy recommended in the beginner's guide on this forum, except I've communicated with less than 20 ladies, not hundreds like the guide recommends.

[msmobyone]

Do I understand you correctly? that you are planning to meet several girls?
If so, you are using visit one tactics for a visit many strategy.

? ?

'visit one tactics' ?

Beel,

I really cannot agree with you suggesting that skyping someone before 'meeting many' is a 'mistake' / wrong tactic.

To each his own .. I would have skyped ladies if possible - when in my earliest days of this adventure - when skype / decent internet was rare and I did a VM - well, two ...

As you point out - you are going a long way - why have a meeting with someone who you might not find interesting - if you can filter them out, beforehand?

[2tallbill]

? ?

'visit one tactics' ?

Beel,

I really cannot agree with you suggesting that skyping someone before 'meeting many' is a 'mistake' / wrong tactic.

To each his own .. I would have skyped ladies if possible - when in my earliest days of this adventure - when skype / decent internet was rare and I did a VM - well, two ...

As you point out - you are going a long way - why have a meeting with someone who you might not find interesting - if you can filter them out, beforehand?

Different guys do things differently. 

My method of visiting one is to sift through all the girls ahead of time narrowing it
to one girl, then getting to know her etc.

When visiting many, I meet them first for coffee or tea. Spending a lot of time up front
getting to know several girls is confusing and makes for a scattered plan. Each girl will
want to know when you will arrive. If you are arriving on Friday but don't want to meet
them until Monday they will know you are going to meet several girls and many girls will
get offended and not want to meet.

That's why on a meet many, I exchange one email or two at the most. You are meeting
them first to see if you have mutual chemistry not wasting any of their time or emotions
if you aren't a good chemistry fit. Juggling several girls that you've spent a lot of time up
front getting to know in my opinion is a recipe for disaster. Everyone of them will figure
out what you are doing and they won't really like it. It also limits how many girls you can
see and a guy will tend to wait to meet girl number seven even if things clicked great with
girl number 3. After girl number 3 gets ignored for a few days while trying to meet girl 7
girl 3 figures out what you are doing and things get spoiled with her.

That's why I recommend it the way I do. Others do things differently.

[SANDRO43]

Frankly, it is a little demeaning / insulting / ignorant to suggest l FSUW living in the Levant / middle-east  / far east are 'Natasha's' - Turkish term for prostitute

Alright, I should have written "many" or "some", rather than "most", sorry . My assertion is based on what Google lists as sites where FSUW hookers' photos can be found, with names like 'bayan' or 'Gulf escort' or similar .

[msmobyone]

Alright, I should have written "many" or "some", rather than "most", sorry . My assertion is based on what Google lists as sites where FSUW hookers' photos can be found, with names like 'bayan' or 'Gulf escort' or similar .

thank you, Sandro

[BillyB]

The girl in Dubai has a master's degree, speaks fluent English, goes to church twice a month, has a cheerful disposition, and works in mid-level management at an international shipping company. She is nothing but classy and high quality. Her mind is sharp as a whip. She wants to quit her job to raise a family and I think that's awesome.


The Dubai girl is just as pretty as the bitchy girl. A real knockout.

You're leaving out the most important thing. Is she "into you". It doesn't take much for these ladies to ask men to visit them. You like her but it takes two. A woman needs to be thrilled to hear my voice before I spend a few thousand dollars on a first date.

Basically she gave me an earful on chat and refused to do the video call (I video chatted with her previously, so I know she's a real girl and not just trying to get out of video chat). She forgave me later but good grief.

You didn't like what you're hearing but still asked her to video chat? Don't let her run the show. If you don't like what you're hearing, tell her you'll talk to her later when she's in a better mood. Asking her to video chat while she's criticizing you leads her to believe you can't get enough of her.

[EasternSun]

Speaking of Skype, is anyone else having trouble getting Skype to work??  I have tried on my laptop, and a couple tablets running Windows 8, and none of them will allow Skype to work. 

[ML]

Just checked, and I am able to log onto Skype.

Any package or service is down from time to time.

[KenInUtah]

EasternSun, yes I am too.  since about 11am EDT, I cant call out but I can receive calls

[southernX]

interesting discussion so far on the skype thing

heres my thoughts on it fme

one  russian lady i had a strong connection with was not very forthcoming with wanting to meet in skype
after several emails and phone calls she did

her english was not good , and she felt very concious of this , she had her mum living with her , the apartment was  small and not very private she also had a small son , who with  her mums needs dictated her free time to meet in skype ,

thus while we had a strong connection her inability to adapt her shedule and become comfortable  with skyping made her reluctant to use it , this stalled the relationship to a point where i doubted her seriousness and commitment to it or at least developing it , she wasnt going to committ to much until a real meeting actually took place

both of us made mistakes in using skype , i did not realise how her bad english and lack of privacy affected her and made her feel ,
something  simple  like me laughing at one of her storys about her sons day that to me was funny , invoked in her thoughts of me laughing at her lack of good english & bad pronunciation , hence she used skype less and less

she did not realise she needed to use skype to help build up the face to face communication as i was genuine and had intentions to travel , she did not trust i was genuine and didnt fully committ to her spoken aim of a potential relationship

during this time another lady came into my contacts, she was fully committed to all aspects of developing a relationship , and badly wanted to meet in skype asap 
 we did and very quickly the first contact was reduced in importance and within a month dropped

my now wife [the second newer contact ] wanted to meet every day , often for hours and made changes to her life with a son also and mum to manage it , nothing was too hard or difficult and never expressed any reluctance that it might be , even though i knew it often made her life very very hard to do so ,

she insisted it was ok no matter what

one time in the first week i actually slept right through a skype meeting time , admittedly it was at 2.30am my time , anyway , my wife just sent me a small email to say she hoped i had'' sweet sleep and i must have been tired to do so , she understood it could happen given the early morning time i was awaking to meet with her  in skype ''

no anger , no venting about dissapointment etc , just expressing a positive wish to me about my needed sleep , when im sure she was badly dissapointed etc

that one small email very early on made a huge impact on me , and showed the difference between the two

during my conversation in dropping the first lady , she finally opened up and told me , she knew she could have done more , but she had a previous experience with a wm from australia who planned to meet her , she went to the airport in her city , date and time as advised to meet him, he never showed up , so with me she really wasnt going to committ to much until a real meeting once i was there , her skype feelings etc etc

my wife never had such an experience ,

you can never know in advance what others have experienced in this game , so it pays to keep an open mind until you know more ime

imo the first lady did manage to push me away , unknowingly and unwittingly we both got a very different vibe from each other that did not develop positivly

in hindsight its probably the natural way things work out for the better

so not skyping or skyping is not often the single  key , but it sure can help  if /when it is used in the relationship building toolkit with thought &understanding


SX

[JayH]

interesting discussion so far on the skype thing

heres my thoughts on it fme

one  russian lady i had a strong connection with was not very forthcoming with wanting to meet in skype
after several emails and phone calls she did

her english was not good , and she felt very concious of this , she had her mum living with her , the apartment was  small and not very private she also had a small son , who with  her mums needs dictated her free time to meet in skype ,

thus while we had a strong connection her inability to adapt her shedule and become comfortable  with skyping made her reluctant to use it , this stalled the relationship to a point where i doubted her seriousness and commitment to it or at least developing it , she wasnt going to committ to much until a real meeting actually took place

both of us made mistakes in using skype , i did not realise how her bad english and lack of privacy affected her and made her feel ,
something  simple  like me laughing at one of her storys about her sons day that to me was funny , invoked in her thoughts of me laughing at her lack of good english & bad pronunciation , hence she used skype less and less

she did not realise she needed to use skype to help build up the face to face communication as i was genuine and had intentions to travel , she did not trust i was genuine and didnt fully committ to her spoken aim of a potential relationship

SX

As so often here on forums SX makes such a smart post that shows real knowledge and understanding.All the post needs reading--but I particularly highlighted in red  a potential major point so often overlooked by forum guys .

To add--misunderstanding are way to easy-- so contact needs to be done with sensitivity and thinking-thinking hard!
I too can add much to SX comments-- but here is just one. I was due to travel-- and was asking this girl about her computer and phone. I was trying to get into model & spec details etc. My purpose was to take a gift-- and I did want it to be suitable  and obviously enough-- something needed that would be of use.
The conversation took a nasty turn--she felt I was looking down on her possessions-mocking her over them  with a superior attitude and arrogant. With an fluent natural english speaker it would not have been misunderstood-- but in this case it was a huge diversion that put actual meeting in jeopardy.

[abashka]

As a girl I can agree with southern X, but I can add more:

1. Lack of English knowledge
2. Schedule, especially if a girl has a kid/kids (hard to find time, if she works 5 days a week too )
3. Other people in the apartment /no privacy
4. Shyness:)

These are the main problems for genuine girls...but sometimes there can be others...when I first came to all of it last year the last thing I expected when I answered a video call was to see hm...a guy without his pants....I was shocked for a month after it and did not want to skype anymore   

Girls call it "увидеть оленя" and I have read it is not a rare situation

[Darth_Budda]

Surprised you in his birthday suit? Lol

[abashka]

Surprised you in his birthday suit? Lol

Lol yes smth like that:)