Are legit girls sometimes hesitant to do Skype calls?

[wrf101]

Hi all,

So in my online adventures, I notice some girls readily give out their Skype info and are willing to video chat. Others put in their profile that they don't want to video Skype strangers, that instead they want the men to visit them in person first.

I know a lot of FSU ladies get disappointed by guys who say they'll visit them but never do. But on the other hand, a video chat is the best way to make sure the other person is really who they say they are, IMHO.

So in your opinions, are these girls' reasons legit, or is it more likely they're just some Boris writing letters? If some of the FSU ladies on here could chime in with her opinion then that would be great (but really all comments are appreciated).

Here's an example of a message I received after I requested skype info:

Hello Ryan!

Well, you know, I don't hurry up to have video chats with unknown people. If you don't have a time, then you decide what better for you.

Any way you'll come to Kiev and it will be not a big deal to manage our real meeting.
My intentions are serious, but it's not the competitions for me...

[END]

Cheers!

[TagUrIt898]

Dude run with the quickness if you have some woman saying she won't Skype with you but she'll meet you in person?  A woman that's serious about meeting someone to start a life with will ALWAYS want to know who she's talking too.  There is not such thing as a blind FSU date.  If your meeting girls that won't Skype or can't Skype in some way, cut them off. I don't care how much she says she's serious.  I wouldn't travel to another country without visually verifying I'm talking to the person I've been corresponding with.

Even if you do manage to Skype with a few ladies, that doesn't mean they are the one(s) you should visit. Again, a lot of your succes has a lot to do with how you go about your pursuit.


Tag

[calmissile]

WRF101,

Any women that indicates she has Skype capability but does not want to chat, is a big red flad to me.  Drop her and forget her ASAP.  A woman that is serious about finding a mate will want to learn all she can about him before he comes to visit. I have been happily maried to a wonderful UA woman, that I did not need to chase.  In fact it would have been difficult to get away from her.   If you are a decent catch, the genuine ones will pursue you.

For your enjoyment in case you did not have a chance to read my journeys  to  UA read these links.

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=15123.0

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=18377.0

Good luck!

[STaty]

Hello Ryan!

Well, you know, I don't hurry up to have video chats with unknown people. If you don't have a time, then you decide what better for you.

Any way you'll come to Kiev and it will be not a big deal to manage our real meeting.
My intentions are serious, but it's not the competitions for me...

[END]

Cheers!

Hi, Ryan! I think, the guys have said is correct. If a girl does not want to talk on Skype, it's a red flag. But there are times when she can not talk. For example: she is sick, she just came out of the shower, she cooks dinner, she has  troubles at work,  friends came to her. If she does not talk to you on Skype without reason - you have to run away from she very quickly.

[oso]

Run Forest Run!

Okay since you are going to come here I asked daughter if she has friends that want to meet an American. That being said, she will ask. She is in her 20's

One of my best resources when in my search mode was the network I built before coming here. I met many guys from the expat forums...what a score that was.

I can not lead you by the hand while you are here to find a good woman because I don't especially enjoy the wrath of a tiny Ukrainian woman, but I can point you in the right direction:) I will ask my wife if she knows of ladies at work that would like to meet you. And yes I will have lunch with you....

[Larry1]

The people above are correct. If she refuses to talk to you on skype dump her.

I've heard a lot of excuses why a girl won't come on skype:

Artem is sick
I have to help Sasha with his homework
It would disturb my roommates
I have to take Sasha to swim (different Sasha than above)

I could keep writing this list, but you get the idea. There are times when a girl can't talk on skype but when she will never talk on skype dump her.

[Miquel Westano]

Hi all,

So in my online adventures, I notice some girls readily give out their Skype info and are willing to video chat. Others put in their profile that they don't want to video Skype strangers, that instead they want the men to visit them in person first.

I know a lot of FSU ladies get disappointed by guys who say they'll visit them but never do. But on the other hand, a video chat is the best way to make sure the other person is really who they say they are, IMHO.

So in your opinions, are these girls' reasons legit, or is it more likely they're just some Boris writing letters? If some of the FSU ladies on here could chime in with her opinion then that would be great (but really all comments are appreciated).

Here's an example of a message I received after I requested skype info:

Hello Ryan!

Well, you know, I don't hurry up to have video chats with unknown people. If you don't have a time, then you decide what better for you.

Any way you'll come to Kiev and it will be not a big deal to manage our real meeting.
My intentions are serious, but it's not the competitions for me...

[END]

Cheers!

I am one of the least knowledgeable people on this forum.  I have zero FSUW experience and am not even in the hunt.  So when I tell you even I know this answer, you better ask yourself why you are unsure.  Are you really just trying to fool yourself?  Are you really that naïve?  Are you super desperate?  Why would you ignore something like that?

I tell people the true test of any question is to turn the players around.  It works for race questions, gender questions, or anything else.  Just flip the players and see if it makes any sense.  If you told the girl, hey fly over here and we will meet.  But, I am not going to skype with you first.  Do you think that would make any sense?  Do you think a good, honest, sincere and attractive girl would go for that deal?  Hardly.  So why would you? 

Con men/women always look for people who are desperate enough to suspend belief and talk themselves into doing unreasonable things because they believe they will get more than they deserve. 

Ditch the ones that wont skype and pay attention to the guys/women on here who have experience.  This is one of the few places you can really get something for nothing.  By that I mean great and sincere advice for free.  Don't waste the opportunity.

[2tallbill]

Hi all,

So in my online adventures, I notice some girls readily give out their Skype info and are willing to video chat. Others put in their profile that they don't want to video Skype strangers, that instead they want the men to visit them in person first.

Some serious girls are hesitant to talk in Skype. However 100% of bad girls
are hesitant to talk in Skype. Here is what I did, I would explain to the girl
that I was only slightly better looking than a shaved monkey and that I wanted
her to see me in Skype. That way she wouldn't run away screaming when she
met me in the airport. If she thought I wasn't too scary on a fisheyed skype
camera then she wouldn't be too afraid when we met in her city.

Then they either said da ili nyet. If they said no, I dumped them. If they
said yes then I saw them on Skype. You can also tell them your cyber pal
Bill went to Kiev to meet a girl who used photos that were ten years old
and photoshopped and in real life the girl weighed 15 kilos more than the
decade old photos.

If a girl insists on meeting first before talking on Skype then she needs to put
away the crack pipe. A trip costs $3k to $5k and finding out that she looks
nothing like her photos because she is a little camera shy is totally unreasonable.

Another thing I often said is that I want to see your eyes when you smile and
I want to hear your voice, blah, blah, blah. 

A good girl will usually agree, however some are shy and need convincing. A
Russian man would keep after them for a bit trying to convince them. When I
asked a girl to move to Skype she might come up with an excuse. I would reply
with something like the I want to see your eyes or I don't want you running 
away in the airport, and if she didn't agree then I dumped her.

One thing you need to decide and show is that you are the one driving the bus.
She can decide whether she wants to get on the bus or not, but if she doesn't it
will pass her by. Don't let the girl no matter how hot she is drive the bus.

Udachi!


Bill

[2tallbill]

Hello Ryan!

Well, you know, I don't hurry up to have video chats with unknown people. If you don't have a time, then you decide what better for you.

Any way you'll come to Kiev and it will be not a big deal to manage our real meeting.
My intentions are serious, but it's not the competitions for me...

[END]

Cheers!

Hmmmmmm.................... that message was translated by a computer.
She could be saying several different things.

You should send her a message saying that you would really like to chat with
her on Sunday at 9:00 pm and that she should let you know if that time works
good for her and to send you her Skype information.

I've read a lot of Russian machine translated English and she could have been
saying that she doesn't make unplanned Skype calls without a time/place. She
obviously wouldn't want to talk to you without makeup etc.

or she could have been saying something entirely different.

I don't know how much you like this girl, but you could also arrange a three-way
phone call with a translator, such as Anastassia Ash or Eduard and see what
happens. They could tell you by the end of the call if the girl was serious or not.
Most scam girls would never get on the phone on a three way call with a real
Russian translator hired by you. Either of those two I mentioned can smell even
a hint of BS a mile away during a windstorm.

Eduard
http://realrussianmatch.com/

Anastassia
http://www.regaltranslations.com/about_us.htm

Please don't call up Eduard or Anastassia and waste their time especially
after I recommended them.

Udachi!

Bill

[ML]

Don't let the girl no matter how hot she is drive the bus.

But many like to be on top.
Is that OK to allow?

[Darth_Budda]

Turn that bus around with firm pressure on the neck... 

[2tallbill]

But many like to be on top.
Is that OK to allow?

Yes, provided she is enthusiastic.

[BillyB]

I've never Skyped with any of the thousands of girls I've written to. What I prefer is to call them on the phone. I can hear if they're pleasantly surprised to hear my voice. Sometimes I'll call them at work(not on purpose) or when they're nude in the bath tub. If the ladies tell me those things, I tell them I could call back later but most ladies tell me not to leave the phone and want to talk. There's something sexy about talking to a woman you're chasing while she's nude in a tub. Try it sometimes.


With Skype, sometimes it feels like an appointment. With the phone there is an element of surprise. Some guys have come to the forum to say they could never get a hold of their lady on the phone or Skype on Friday and Saturday nights. They have reason to worry. Those are the evening people are most likely to party and their girl could be banging boyfriend #3.


Some girls don't like to Skype because they had bad experiences and don't want to be part of some man's fantasy. Some men have asked the ladies to remove their clothes and assume certain positions. Marriage minded men aren't the only men who ask ladies to Skype. Sex tourists are lumped in this together with us. A sex tourist forum may have 10 times the members online compared to this forum. They outnumber us so it doesn't surprise me many ladies have had bad experiences.


It's been said 20% of the most beautiful women get 80% of all the attention. Why would popular ladies spend countless hours on Skype with every man who asks? Insane. Those ladies have choices and after enough experience, they are more cautious about giving out their number and Skype info.


I once found a lady on Bride.ru and wrote her an email. She wrote back a pleasant letter. She was also listed on agencies and she's the kind of woman that gets on every agency's front page. 5'11"/180cm with model looks and body. She told me she doesn't want to get involved in endless emails and prefers a man to make a decision to visit quickly. I told her I can visit but will not do so without getting to know her first and talking to her on the phone. I called her and we talked for 30 minutes.


When a lady has 20+ men to choose from, not every guy can expect to get to talk to her on phone and Skype. Doesn't mean she's automatically a scammer or agency employee if she rejects you. If she likes what you said in your messages and emails and likes your photo, you will quickly get her number and talk to her on Skype. If you don't get to Skype or her number, you are not one of her favorites.


If a girl won't Skype, ask for her number and call often. If a woman likes you, she will be excited and may giggle when you talk. She will be thrilled to hear your voice. Calling often helps verify the girl is real because scammers can't put on a happy act for long unless you send them money. To verify she looks like her profile, suggest to the ladies you and her trade photos in email. It's interesting through photos to see the ladies in their environment. When she starts to share her life with you in photos and real conversations off the internet, you're getting somewhere.

[msmobyone]

Great responses here, so far

When I was first on the scene Skype was new to many FSUW and some were even afraid to install it - as it was going around that it was like 'spyware' and folk could listen in on your conversation ...

My future wife had a sweet voice and looked good in photos - but she was VERY reluctant to do Skype. I never worked out why - but I took the risk and we were together 6 years. Once she lived away from her family - she started using Skype. 

So, if I had listened to the advice here - and 'run' - I would not have met and married her 

Nearly ten years on and the situation seems entirely different...   when I returned to the dating scene, I found many of the ladies also used Skype and wanted to 'check me out'.

Normally, out of etiquette, I started off with a phone call - as per BillyB - and the suggestion to move to Skype is often the ladies.

Would I immediately strike off  someone that won't skype? NO .... she might have a good reason. Normally, I found that ladies, when they feel comfortable - will suggest it. 

Sorry, for being sl.contrary 

[TagUrIt898]

Great responses here, so far

When I was first on the scene Skype was new to many FSUW and some were even afraid to install it - as it was going around that it was like 'spyware' and folk could listen in on your conversation ...

My future wife had a sweet voice and looked good in photos - but she was VERY reluctant to do Skype. I never worked out why - but I took the risk and we were together 6 years. Once she lived away from her family - she started using Skype. 

So, if I had listened to the advice here - and 'run' - I would not have met and married her 

Nearly ten years on and the situation seems entirely different...   when I returned to the dating scene, I found many of the ladies also used Skype and wanted to 'check me out'.

Normally, out of etiquette, I started off with a phone call - as per BillyB - and the suggestion to move to Skype is often the ladies.

Would I immediately strike off  someone that won't skype? NO .... she might have a good reason. Normally, I found that ladies, when they feel comfortable - will suggest it. 

Sorry, for being sl.contrary 

Things have certainly changed and I have respectfully disagree with you. Its not ten years ago and we definitely live in an age where it's not taboo or uncommon to skype. I can understand if someone is shy or has a family situation at home where they're not allotted a lot of privacy. When I first started talking to Polishka, I would see her brother or sister occasionally walk by in the background.lol If s girl is truly interested in you, she will make the effort to Skype or some type of video chat. I think the consensus is, if you have someone that doesn't want to and can't Skype and simply wants you to get on a plane and see her. That's the GIGANTIC red flag everyone agrees with. All in all as always you will have to decide what's best for you.

Tag

[oso]

I just wanted to add my 2 cents here. It is not to be negative in any way. It is to show that good things can happen without being the norm. Every situation is different. Also understanding my wife was raised as a communist. She is very sophisticated and old fashioned. She believes that a woman's dress should be below the knees. It is not proper for a woman to show her knees. And she thinks no self-respecting
woman puts herself on the internet.
So with that little bit of information, she was not very excited to Skype when I asked her to. After telling her it was important to me, she had her daughter load Skype on her tablet. We messaged or chatted through Skype for months. We never called or used the video features, we just chatted....for hours.

About a month before our meeting we started calling through Skype. She still would not do video. I wanted to see what she looked like...by this time I really didn't care what she looked like because we were building a great foundation to a meeting. For all I know she could have looked like a bent shit can. I still would have met her. I would send her photos of myself hoping she would send one back of herself.
I would ask her for a photo, still hearing how how a real woman doesn't put herself on the internet. Finally she told me she would try to find a photo of herself and send it to me. Damn talk about "where is Waldo" The photo was of a person about a mile away. It was like trying to find a gopher in a wheat field!
She said that was the best photo she had. Needless to say about three days before our meeting in Paris she sent me a close up that was just taken so I would be able to find her....All I could think to myself was  OMG....amazing....every man's dream! I was blown away from her beauty...I already knew she had a beautiful heart. Even when when I am stateside we don't video...unless she wants to tease me wile she in in the bath tub

[oso]

I also wanted to add. I broke EVERY RULE in the book. Except the one on sending money or gifts.... To this day she has never asked me for anything....but love, understanding and support. And support to her does not mean financial assistance...

[Muzh]

I also wanted to add. I broke EVERY RULE in the book. Except the one on sending money or gifts.... To this day she has never asked me for anything....but love, understanding and support. And support to her does not mean financial assistance...

Nope, I broke that one too. 

[ML]

When I was 'in the market' I never did Skyping before meeting.

Never really had the time to do it with my WMVM approach.

None of the gals ever complained about it, but this goes back several years.

In today's market, I probably would not have succeeded with hardly any of the gals if we had Skyped before meeting . . . given my unattractiveness.

[msmobyone]

Things have certainly changed and I have respectfully disagree with you. Its not ten years ago and we definitely live in an age where it's not taboo or uncommon to skype. I can understand if someone is shy or has a family situation at home where they're not allotted a lot of privacy. When I first started talking to Polishka, I would see her brother or sister occasionally walk by in the background.lol If s girl is truly interested in you, she will make the effort to Skype or some type of video chat. I think the consensus is, if you have someone that doesn't want to and can't Skype and simply wants you to get on a plane and see her. That's the GIGANTIC red flag everyone agrees with. All in all as always you will have to decide what's best for you.

Tag

Hi Tag,

Disagreeing is healthy and not disrespectful 

Please note I DID say ''Nearly ten years on and the situation seems entirely different...   when I returned to the dating scene, I found many of the ladies also used Skype and wanted to 'check me out'.'' 

However, you raised the point about 'privacy' - I'm older than you and many of the ladies I was in contact with had teenage kids and didn't have smartphones - just a normal 'mobilnik' - to be able to chat away from home at every opportunity.  Would you have wanted your Ma / Pa being chatted up while you tried to play on your x-box and may be you had another sibling watching TV / doing homework in another room ?


I'm pleased that STaty is 'backing you up' and I'm in the minority 

[Boethius]

I note yet again a one sided tale on scammers.  Interesting, given other recent posts on the forum.

Perhaps this lady has had the pleasure of skyping with a WM in the past.  Men who ask her to disrobe, to turn around so they can see what she is wearing (on the pretext of checking her weight/proportions), who have accused her during such calls of being a scammer, or who have masturbated while talking to her.

Then there are the keyboard Romeos, who are killing time and have no intention of ever visiting.  Or are married.

These are all things FSUW have complained about. 

Look, getting on a plane and travelling 3000 miles is the man's choice.  It's not some sort of free pass so that a woman should have to dance in circles to please a man she's never met in person.  If the guy shows up and still has an interest, they can meet.  No need to look for scammers/red flags in all behaviour with doesn't meet with your expectations.

[2tallbill]

do it with my WMVM approach.

I agree, guys who use a visit many approach should avoid Skype
until after meeting a girl and narrowing it down to one.

[2tallbill]

I note yet again a one sided tale on scammers.  Interesting, given other recent posts on the forum.

Perhaps this lady has had the pleasure of skyping with a WM in the past.  Men who ask her to disrobe, to turn around so they can see what she is wearing (on the pretext of checking her weight/proportions), who have accused her during such calls of being a scammer, or who have masturbated while talking to her.

Then there are the keyboard Romeos, who are killing time and have no intention of ever visiting.

These are all things FSUW have complained about.

Look, getting on a plane and travelling 3000 miles is the man's choice.  It's not some sort of free pass for a woman to have to dance in circles to please a man she's never met in person.  If the guy shows up and still has an interest, they can meet.  No need to look for scammers/red flags in all behaviour with doesn't meet with your expectations.

A guy should exchange a few letters first and maybe even a phone call or two.
I've never had any trouble convincing a girl that I wasn't serious with honorable
intentions. I think the weirdo's, fruitcakes and psychos give off enough vibes
that most girls internal radar can pick up on them. Look at the nutjobs who come
here. They can rarely make it past a dozen posts before their true colors pop up.

There is no such thing as a sure thing but a girl must eventually take a chance
or they will be pushing away good men. Just like men eventually have to take
a chance and get on a plane knowing that everything can blow up at the airport
the girls must eventually take a chance that the guy isn't a nutjob otherwise they
need to only meet men that have both a letter of recommendation from their mother
and the local priest.

If a girl occasionally sees a penis on Skype while being a bit annoying or disgusting
it's not going to kill her. Meeting a nutjob  in person could do it though. Skype gives
her the same confirmation that it does for the men. She can see how current his photos
are and see his face and expressions when he talks to her and give her radar an even
better chance to reject a bad match.

That's my opinion and if a guy wants to fly all the way to the FSU and doesn't get the
girl on Skype then it's his own damn fault if the girl has 20 year old photos.

[Boethius]

If a girl occasionally sees a penis on Skype while being a bit annoying or disgusting it's not going to kill her. Meeting a nutjob  in person could do it though. Skype gives her the same confirmation that it does for the men. She can see how current his photos are and see his face and expressions when he talks to her and give her radar an even better chance to reject a bad match.

She just isn't interested enough to subject herself to that behavior.  Why should she? 

I just think that you shouldn't suggest it's a red flag.  It isn't always.

As for radar, you can't tell that on skype, sometimes, not even in person.  The lack of a common language and cultural cues is also a factor.

[Muzh]

There is no such thing as a sure thing but a girl must eventually take a chance
or they will be pushing away good men. Just like men eventually have to take
a chance and get on a plane knowing that everything can blow up at the airport
the girls must eventually take a chance that the guy isn't a nutjob otherwise they
need to only meet men that have both a letter of recommendation from their mother
and the local priest.

Can you expand on this "pushing away good men?" How is that?