Time Zone Difference

[carlosdange]

So I am brand new to this, and I've been talking to a young lady for about a week now. I am self employed so my schedule is flexible but I already find myself waking up earlier (5am) to talk to her more before she goes to sleep. For you guys with regular 9-5s how do you find time to Skype? Weekends only? Or do you guys Skype at work?

On a side note, should I be worried if I am the one to start the conversation always? As an experiment today I haven't messaged her on Whatsapp yet to see if she would message me.  It's now 8:30pm for her (we usually talk 8am-11pm for her) and she hasn't messaged me. Is this a red flag or have I just been going overboard talking to her every day?

[jone]

Bet she's thinking the same thing.  You know nothing about your 'woman' until you meet her in person.  By virtue of the fact that you're talking on Whatsap is a good sign. 

Tell us about yourself, how you met your woman and where she is from.

Welcome to the forum.

[carlosdange]

Bet she's thinking the same thing.  You know nothing about your 'woman' until you meet her in person.

Not sure what you mean.

As for me I am 25 yr old workaholic. My past relationships have ended because I don't have time to get to know the girl before she moves on or gets mad and ignores me. The girl is 24 from Russia (St. Petersburg), I found her VK profile and contacted her there instead of through EM and we've been chatting on Whatsapp since.

Is it ever to EARLY to set up a skype call?

[jone]

Not sure what you mean.

As for me I am 25 yr old workaholic. My past relationships have ended because I don't have time to get to know the girl before she moves on or gets mad and ignores me. The girl is 24 from Russia (St. Petersburg), I found her VK profile and contacted her there instead of through EM and we've been chatting on Whatsapp since.

Is it ever to EARLY to set up a skype call?

Never too early for a Skype call.  What makes you think a Russian woman won't have the same feelings that your past girlfriends have had about your work habits?  Are you going to change when you meet the right one?  Quite honestly, these women are VERY demanding of you.  Especially if you are inviting her to live with you in your home country. 

Two typically general things about (most but not all) Russian women:

1.  They will let you know if you are their man.  They do not hold back their love.  You must be ready for it or you will lose it.

2.  They have fairly set opinions on running a household.  Your home will be run as a Russian home.

Udachi.

[jone]

Oh, ask her if she has ever eaten at Schengen.   We ate there two weeks ago.  It was great and inexpensive for the food that we received.  I would put it in the top five restaurants in St. Petersburg.

[carlosdange]

I was building oil rigs 12hrs a day 7 days a week for 2 years, then I was working onshore rigs 2-3 weeks at a time. Now I'm trying to grow my small business so again I am working a lot, but it should become more manageable time wise within 3-4 months. So by the time I'm ready to relocate her I should have more then enough time for her.

Are there any general tips for chatting? When it comes to local girls i txt with my general rules: Only text with something interesting to say (no Hey!, Whats up?, Hows your day?), never send multiple replies before answer (My txt, hers, my txt, my txt), always end the conversation before there is a slow in the back and forth to keep her wanting more. Those seem like bad rules (except for to many replies before hers) for talking to FSU women though. Any suggestions?

I know that with live game streaming (and even webcam porn girls) there is a service that allows them to sign up and their viewers can buy them food delivery. Is there something similar in Russia? I thought it would be nice to set up a skype "date" where I could buy her dinner and eat / talk on skype like a dinner date (except I'd be having lunch).

[jone]

You should contact a restaurant close to where she lives and have them deliver to her.  They will all do it for a delivery fee. 

[mendeleyev]

Our youngest daughter just hit 25 last week. She married too early in my estimation and perhaps the only things that keep their marriage together include the fact that Mrs M and I are very involved in their lives, and that the son-in-law works for me. I have been around a lot of young FSU gals, and in my estimation they mature late from an emotional perspective. In reality, you are very possibly attempting to court someone who thinks and acts more like an 18 year old. It really has to do with how the vast majority of Russian children are in effect coddled when growing up. Most come into maturity around 30 or so.

Your small business probably needs more attention than just in the next 3-4 months. I'd plan on it consuming all your time for the next few years. At her age, she wants to have a "life" and have fun, not settle down and build a family.

As to dating at both your ages, in my not so humble opinion you have gone about this backwards. At 25, I'd advise you to visit Russia first. Not just the girl, but visit Russia. It is a very fascinating place, and getting to know the place will help you understand the girls. I'm confident that if you visited first as a project to research the idea of a FSU marriage, and not just to court one gal, it would greatly influence how you approach and court Russian girls after your visit. Even if she turned out to be "the one" after your visit, both of you would benefit greatly from your travel.

As Jone pointed out, they are very demanding and have high expectations at that age.

[carlosdange]

Our youngest daughter just hit 25 last week. She married too early in my estimation and perhaps the only things that keep their marriage together include the fact that Mrs M and I are very involved in their lives, and that the son-in-law works for me. I have been around a lot of young FSU gals, and in my estimation they mature late from an emotional perspective. In reality, you are very possibly attempting to court someone who thinks and acts more like an 18 year old. It really has to do with how the vast majority of Russian children are in effect coddled when growing up. Most come into maturity around 30 or so.

Your small business probably needs more attention than just in the next 3-4 months. I'd plan on it consuming all your time for the next few years. At her age, she wants to have a "life" and have fun, not settle down and build a family.

As to dating at both your ages, in my not so humble opinion you have gone about this backwards. At 25, I'd advise you to visit Russia first. Not just the girl, but visit Russia. It is a very fascinating place, and getting to know the place will help you understand the girls. I'm confident that if you visited first as a project to research the idea of a FSU marriage, and not just to court one gal, it would greatly influence how you approach and court Russian girls after your visit. Even if she turned out to be "the one" after your visit, both of you would benefit greatly from your travel.

As Jone pointed out, they are very demanding and have high expectations at that age.

I appreciate the reply! I'm currently a one man operation so it requires a great deal of work/time. I plan to hire 3-4 employees over the next few months freeing up a lot of my time. I by no means expect to work less then 40 hours a week, but this should be an acceptable amount of time away from home for a FSU woman right? She currently works 40hrs/week in financial field, and has said she doesn't go out much after work. What specifically do you mean by demanding/high expectations at her age?

Well I have already started talking to her so I don't see the point in not visiting her when I do eventually travel to Russia. I would not be disappointed in spending a vacation with a (very) beautiful Russian girl, even if she doesn't turn out to be "the one".

1.  They will let you know if you are their man.  They do not hold back their love.  You must be ready for it or you will lose it.

How long before I should expect her to let me know this? As I said before she seems not that interested (comparing her to my experience with local girls). Anytime I send her a message she always replies, and not just a few words or a Yes/No. However the only questions she has asked me are after her answer to a question of mine (example: What about you?)

[mendeleyev]

As someone who operates a small business and is invested in several others, I'd project that the hiring of employees will help your efforts, but it will not free up any time. Employees will actually consume lots more of your time, but it is worth the time investment in most cases.

At her age she wants things and fun. Russia has turned into one of the most materialistic societies in modern history. At that age, a girl wants everything (despite what she may say in courting) from laptops to iphones to tablets to a nice car to a nice home and nice things in the home to nice clothing to nice cosmetics to weekly trips to the spa to no babies right now to frequent visits to the hair salon to nice dinners in expensive restaurants to nice jewelry to wear to nice food in the kitchen to more.

She can have much of that herself because if she lives with parents, she has almost no expenses and most of her income is disposable. The fact that you are a "rich" American in her worldview (regardless of the reality), means that she can ramp up those expectations even more.

It is usually about age 30 or so when that materialistic fog start to clear for FSU gals, and she gradually begins to realize that life (unless she is in an "arrangement" with a local married man) really isn't what she thought in her 20s. That is when maturity begins to evolve and she becomes much more realistic about what is "normal" in life.

[carlosdange]

Oh, well on a materialistic level I can provide that. I thought you meant they want to party all the time, travel constantly, and fun adventures every day of the week.

[mendeleyev]

Yes. That is what most 20 somethings do, regardless of what they say on Skype. Maybe she really doesn't, but that is one reason why you travel.

As for materialistic things, you may quickly find that when the well dries up, as it often does over periods of time in real life, the affection dries up too. Don't use wealth to attract a FSU girl, because unfortunately you will find one. The cost in the end will make a thousand iphones pale in comparison.

Never use your economic status as "bait", and in fact, underplay it. Best to find a girl who is compatible on several levels of life, sans the size of your bank account.

[2tallbill]

I was building oil rigs 12hrs a day 7 days a week for 2 years, then I was working onshore rigs 2-3 weeks at a time. Now I'm trying to grow my small business so again I am working a lot, but it should become more manageable time wise within 3-4 months. So by the time I'm ready to relocate her I should have more then enough time for her.

Welcome to the forum,

You are at an age where it's a little bit difficult to pursue FSUW. Girls under 24 are
significantly more flighty, flaky and less serious than girls who are 30 and over. You've
got plenty of time so take your time.

Udachi!

Bill

[2tallbill]

Yes. That is what most 20 somethings do, regardless of what they say on Skype. Maybe she really doesn't, but that is one reason why you travel.

As for materialistic things, you may quickly find that when the well dries up, as it often does over periods of time in real life, the affection dries up too. Don't use wealth to attract a FSU girl, because unfortunately you will find one. The cost in the end will make a thousand iphones pale in comparison.

Never use your economic status as "bait", and in fact, underplay it. Best to find a girl who is compatible on several levels of life, sans the size of your bank account.

Another forum member once said something like
"don't be surprised if you find Gold diggers if you use money as bait."

[carlosdange]

I figured gold diggers would be a problem so I've made sure not to say anything regarding my financial status. Not to mention I was raised not to talk about such things.

I plan to take my time. I'm in no rush to get married, but if I meet the right woman I won't shy from commitment.

Any advice about figuring out if they are interested? In my above posts I asked some questions about it that didn't really get answered. Should I just be blunt and ask or declare my affection (more of infatuation because of her beauty, over past week we've exchanged around 120 texts). If you were to read our correspondence it would read like two people getting to know each other (minus a few of my flirty / saying she's beautiful to a reply of "Thanks ") and not like two people seeking a long term relationship.

[Boethius]

more of infatuation because of her beauty

That's exactly what it is.  How can you have any affection for someone you've never met?

[BillyB]

On a side note, should I be worried if I am the one to start the conversation always? As an experiment today I haven't messaged her on Whatsapp yet to see if she would message me.  It's now 8:30pm for her (we usually talk 8am-11pm for her) and she hasn't messaged me. Is this a red flag or have I just been going overboard talking to her every day?

Don't be worried that she hasn't messaged you first. Most FSU women don't call a man and expect the man to do the calling. Things may go smooth at first and a lady can disappear on you. Maybe she'll make a decision to be with another man or she decided you're not compatible with her. It seems you just started this so don't put all your eggs in one basket. Communicate with lots of women and you're more likely to find the right one.

[mendeleyev]

This will sound crazy, but an FSU woman can be fiercely independent while at the same time expecting you to be a leader. You will pay for dates, for restaurants, for cabs, for train fare, and once committed you may be expected to pay for things like cell phone and Skype bills, etc. It is culturally appropriate in her world.

At age 24, you are probably not the only man interested in her, and local guys have an obvious home court advantage. So you will do a lot of the initiating especially at first.

Nothing really happens until you meet, and then if you still are interested in each other (and you may not be after meeting), then you will find her to be more responsive with texts, etc. Keep in mind that wifi is not sold in "unlimited" packages for her, and so every call, every Skype does cost her something even when Skype to Skype is free. Now you are a pleasant keyboard romeo, only after meeting are you "real" in her eyes.

Go visit. 

[jone]

There are many worse places in the world to visit than St. Petersburg.  Even if I were not involved with an Eastern European woman, I would want to see Peter, if only for the great history that is set in the city.

Read about Russia in your spare time.  Not about the women, about the country.  You will find a completely different world and one that will enthrall you.

[Muzh]

I figured gold diggers would be a problem so I've made sure not to say anything regarding my financial status. Not to mention I was raised not to talk about such things.

I plan to take my time. I'm in no rush to get married, but if I meet the right woman I won't shy from commitment.

Any advice about figuring out if they are interested? In my above posts I asked some questions about it that didn't really get answered. Should I just be blunt and ask or declare my affection (more of infatuation because of her beauty, over past week we've exchanged around 120 texts). If you were to read our correspondence it would read like two people getting to know each other (minus a few of my flirty / saying she's beautiful to a reply of "Thanks ") and not like two people seeking a long term relationship.

Hey Tocayo, a few pointers.


Regardless of age, these babes love to be chased. You start playing games with them (as in, will not call her to see if she calls me) and they'll tell you to take a hike. Call her whenever you have a chance and tell her:


Hi Honey, just took a break from working 12 hours to say hi because I can't stop thinking about you. Will try later on my next break and hope you are there. Meanwhile, my heart is pounding very hard just thinking of talking to you.

Try it.

[BillyB]

Meanwhile, my heart is pounding very hard just thinking of talking to you.[/i]

you can't fool women. They know your heart isn't the first thing that gets a pounding.

[jone]

For those reading this forum, this guy is 25 years old and chasing a gal who is 24 years old.  He lives in the US and she lives in Russia.  He is about to discover that his chances for success with this gal are about the same as chances for success in the US except that there is a huge distance between them and many negative aspects of dating relationships are magnified due to distance and cultural barriers.

Why should he have more success with a Russian woman than he would have at home, where, in a self admission, he has stated that women dump him because he is more into his work?

[2tallbill]

Why should he have more success with a Russian woman than he would have at home, where, in a self admission, he has stated that women dump him because he is more into his work?

He did note that he was making efforts to have more time available, but you are right
he will have some difficulties.

[Darth_Budda]

I also found the girls act a few years under their age...

At least compared to american women..