Identity

[Gator]

Some tips while you are preparing for your trip.
1. She is not your tour guide. While you may look up places of interest to see, do not try to make a program but let her decide on it. Sightseeing can always be done, most importnt is ti spend time together.

I agree completely with your tips, yet this one puzzles me.  I thought it good when the woman wanted to show me her city.   I appreciated the pride most expressed when doing this.  Walking about town, stopping for tea or coffee, waiting for a bus, etc. are opportunities to get to know each other on an easy, unrushed pace.   I think it is wrong to treat a meeting like an interview (or worse, an interrogation).  Just have fun together, and enjoy each other.  Repeat, have fun!  Enjoy sharing the day with a gorgeous, interesting woman who likes you.

[BC]

Cognac will be greatly appreciated!!!!   

My future father-in-law shared a bottle of his favorite vodka with me, and we talked for hours not understanding more than a few words. 

Funny.. did similar with MIL.. we 'conversed' for hours with the two or three RU words I had learned and did shots one for one until I ended up closely examining where the table connected to the floor.  Haven't a clue what was in the bottle and only know she made it herself.

Beware..

[Shadow]

I agree completely with your tips, yet this one puzzles me.  I thought it good when the woman wanted to show me her city.   I appreciated the pride most expressed when doing this.  Walking about town, stopping for tea or coffee, waiting for a bus, etc. are opportunities to get to know each other on an easy, unrushed pace.   I think it is wrong to treat a meeting like an interview (or worse, an interrogation).  Just have fun together, and enjoy each other.  Repeat, have fun!  Enjoy sharing the day with a gorgeous, interesting woman who likes you.

there is nothing bad in exploring the city together, but the places to go should com from her side, not yours.
If people visit your area they might make a huge list of things to see, yet the real interesting places would be the ones you can shoow them that may be off the list.

[Sreiko]

Must say that she is not easy to me, I understand her. First she is amazed with my images and can't believe I am almost 50 years old (as well many here). Second, it is a bit doubt about Serbia and I understand her, there is just worst news presented about us. She is brave in some way- she have to leave her parents, job and country and give her self to me, it is absolute no easy step.

[Sreiko]

There is optional shock therapy- as well I work for some magazines with military subjects, I will (maybe) ask her to bring me to some museum or archive, which could be valuable for my work. This can make her impression that she is important for my life and work. But this is optional... if I feel situation I will act without doubt.

[Shadow]

Funny.. did similar with MIL.. we 'conversed' for hours with the two or three RU words I had learned and did shots one for one until I ended up closely examining where the table connected to the floor.  Haven't a clue what was in the bottle and only know she made it herself.

Beware..

I actually managed to outdrink my FiL, without changing a bit. Wiorst thing happened was getting really sick after shaslick at a friends house. The excuse I had was carrying a double pneumonia and temperature of 40C which caused some panic the next day.

[Gator]

There is optional shock therapy- as well I work for some magazines with military subjects, I will (maybe) ask her to bring me to some museum or archive, which could be valuable for my work. This can make her impression that she is important for my life and work. But this is optional... if I feel situation I will act without doubt.

I suggest you do this at the end of the your visit.  First get her opinion about military and war and then decide. 

[Sreiko]

Ooo yes- definitely not at the very beginning. She is interesting about what I do in life but I do not bother her much.

[Gator]

We have something called Vinjak, similar to Cognac but domestic brandy is without match...

In reading about Vinjak it seems like Cognac in everything but the name.  In fact, it may be better than the best Cognac.


When you mentioned this, I thought it was a form of slivovitz.  Yet vinjak is made from wine, not plums.  An old Swedish friend is long married to woman from Zagreb, and she served me some of her uncle's slivovitz.  Its alcohol seemed higher than 40% and for sure could be used to fuel jet fighters. 

[Gator]

Sreiko, you impress me as a warm, gentle, sincere man.   I imagine she is just as nice as you.

If every man who comes here for the first time had your attitude, there would be more marriages and fewer bad reports.   

[Sreiko]

I drink without problem with 55% of alcohol but... I am Serb. We have excellent natural made slivovica as well many others type, all strong like the bomb.

Thank you Gator for your kind words. I am Orthodox, old values and treat her as well all of you as gift of God. Respect on first place.

[BillyB]

Must say that she is not easy to me, I understand her. First she is amazed with my images and can't believe I am almost 50 years old (as well many here). Second, it is a bit doubt about Serbia and I understand her, there is just worst news presented about us. She is brave in some way- she have to leave her parents, job and country and give her self to me, it is absolute no easy step.

She has doubt about Serbia. She has valid concerns. I think she  will meet you and you must be honest about life in your country if you want her to live there someday. Sure you told her about this in emails but she needs to see your eyes when you tell it again. Serbia may not be a big upgrade from Ukraine but when she meets you and feels she can have a happy life with you, she may decide to live with in in Serbia. Dont be so emotional around her. She needs to understand you're a strong man and can provide for her a happy and secure life in difficult environments.

[Sreiko]

All correct, as I said, I do understand her. I am open and honest, not in my profile to provide false or inappropriate info.

[Faux Pas]

Funny.. did similar with MIL.. we 'conversed' for hours with the two or three RU words I had learned and did shots one for one until I ended up closely examining where the table connected to the floor.  Haven't a clue what was in the bottle and only know she made it herself.

Beware..

Samagon? My MIL makes it once a year every year. For others and now mostly me as she doesn't drink it. My wife does with borst and a few other dishes. Her's is more related to brandy the best I can't tell as she makes it with berries. I can attest, it will knock your dick in the dirt. 

She didn't make it one year and I protested (as much as one can in that situation) she relented and promised to never miss again. She's very proud of the fact that I like her samagon, drink it and protest if I don't get it.

[Darth_Budda]

Yes dear Darth Budda, there is back up plan, to visit many nice places in Ukraine and go back home.

Than go for it..

Just have fun and be friends...
If it feels right go for it...

it is really that simple...

[Sreiko]

What does it mean:

it will knock your dick in the dirt

There will be challenge with food and dishes- first thing I will make will be barbecue, here you are one image and what I did. I like to cook and this will be good especially when she get pregnant and born baby, she will be less able to make food so she will enjoy my skill. Many people say that woman place is in the kitchen, I do not share that stand point, woman best place is in bed... with me

[Sreiko]

More made by me Breakfast, spring version

[BillyB]

woman best place is in bed... with me

You may want sex twice a day. The lady may want sex once a month. It's important you figure out sexual compatibility with the lady.

[Sreiko]

Then highway

[Faux Pas]

What does it mean:

it will knock your dick in the dirt

It is a reference meaning it will get you really drunk.

[Sreiko]

Thanks

[mendeleyev]

I wouldn't go in with ovens blazing (cooking) just yet. If she is into you, she will want to showcase her culinary prowess, and that of her mother/family, for you to sample, especially with some of her Russian cuisine. Don't come in with the need to take over in the kitchen as it could lead her to wonder just what will be her role in a potential relationship. Once you are more comfortable with each other, your skills in the kitchen will be a nice surprise.

You mistrust her because that was how you were likely raised. Like Poles and citizens from Baltic states, your nation does not remember the Soviet Union/Russia with the same fondness as Russians seem to expect. That period is over. Give it up. Trust, but verify comes to mind. As others have said, give her the benefit of the doubt.

Your job as a military historian to some extent will be threatening to her, and likely older members in her family. Some of your knowledge could likely contradict the versions of history that she was taught from childhood, and to which she sincerely believes. To that end, I'd table any thought of her taking you to a military museum on your first visit. Yes, you must make more than one visit. That tour might be better left for a future time.

As to a gift for her parents, absolutely. To come empty handed is a sign of disrespect in her culture. Even if you never connect in a meaningful way, stepping inside their home means that they are the gracious hosts and you must be a gracious guest. It doesn't need to be elaborate or expensive, but at the least a small bouquet of flowers, or chocolate, for Mum, and something to drink for Papa.

[Sreiko]

Thank you Mendeleyev for your interesting input. But must reject part of education- yes, I was raised up in Socialism but my mind refuse some of vital elements of education and mentality. My stand is based on extra perception and logical analyze. Let me explain on the case of sound...

You hear sound few meters from you. If you are in supermarket, this simple mean nothing, nothing special. But go back some 20.000 BC, this could be dangerous fret, animal try to attack you.

So I give attention to everything, just in case. And she will feel my skill when come here, in her country I will be at her skill.

[mendeleyev]

My comment on education had nothing to do with socialism, or with sounds in the supermarket. It had to do with versions of history. I'm easily willing to bet that you and she hold many differences on how certain events and national relationships were played out during the post World War II period. However, I also understand that English is not your primary language and thus much of what I write about may not be perfectly clear now.

[Sreiko]

Sorry, I was tired and low concentration, my mistake Thank you again for attention