Going to start looking for a wife (Ukraine/russia)

[dragonkid]

i decided i want to remain in the UK, and i don't want to date the girls here mainly because i know you can get better in russia/ukraine, emotionally/physically. I am going to stop contacting girls i have no interest in.  I am going to straighten myself out, expanded my radius from ukraine to include russia. I am serious with this, i am considering stay with a girl for 1 year if i find her compatible, before deciding whether marriage is a good idea with her.

[Shadow]

Sounds interesting. It seems you plan to stay in Ukraine or Russia during that time, as far as I am aware the UK visa laws will not permit obtaining a long term visa. If you go for this idea, do plan to be sensible and not create any offspring during this time.
Make this your responsibility, meaning you can not fall for entrapment.

[dragonkid]

Sounds interesting. It seems you plan to stay in Ukraine or Russia during that time, as far as I am aware the UK visa laws will not permit obtaining a long term visa. If you go for this idea, do plan to be sensible and not create any offspring during this time.
Make this your responsibility, meaning you can not fall for entrapment.

Going to get a student visa, maybe learn some russian. i will need to put my life on pause just so i can spend time and know if marriage is the right thing to do. But i am young, and 6 months to a year won't do much for me, most important thing is someone that gets along with me.

[mendeleyev]

A student visa is a good idea, and there are some good schools in the FSU. This type of visa will allow you to stay longer and avoid the "90 days in then 90 days out" rules.

[GregfromGa]

Something to think about dragonkid. I remember a few years ago the cousin of my ex wife and  I contemplated starting a dating agency. He is a women's prison warden. We never really followed through with it but the interest was outstanding. Bearing in mind that these women are mostly 20's and 30's and their incarceration vary from petty crimes to some of a more serious nature but we would be happy to make you aware and of course you'll know when the special lady would be released. The advantages of this is unlimited. First of all you'll be the only male corresponding with said lady. You will not have to spend lots of money dating and taking said lady to the Buddha Bar in Kiev. Of course conjugal would be permitted during your visits to see said lady. I've seen the pictures. There are some really hot beautiful ladies incarcerated in his prison. There are very few fatties and makeup is not allowed so you'll get to see what the girl looks like in the morning. There are several apartments within walking distance of the prison and the rates are very cheap. Something like $25 a day and it includes hot water,cable tv and wifi. In some cases a weekend furlough might be permitted. I just thought I would throw this out there for you.

[TomT]

^ You haven't lost your sense of humor, Greg.

[dragonkid]

This is going to be a long process, to find someone that meets my physical standards, which are a lot higher since my last gf,d i am not going to rush it. After i find physical attraction ,Then i will see if our personalities align, at the moment there is 2 girls i talk to who fit those standards physically.

both are from ukraine , my russian search has taken a hit because i only started yesterday (ukraine was 5 days ago)

First one dated someone else,  so she is trying to not give me her whatsapp till she knows me better (she states on her profile she won't add anyone). second one is worried i am talking to many women, but we are talking, and i reassured her that if we meet i will only have one person i am focused on. i think it will take me a few months to find someone that i like both physically and emotionally.

[dragonkid]

I don't talk to these girls anymore, but this give you the idea on what i like physically. I won't attach the girls i talk to, incase someone fucks it up for me. My expectations are too high, but like i said, i am going to take my time with this, and i know if i focus on a few women, only then can find someone i like both physically/personality wise. i done it before , and will do it again.

[dragonkid]

I just found out this girl is still on the site i use (one of the girls above), thinking of getting back in contact with her. We were meant to meet up, she was coming over from perm for 2 days, to moscow, but i found my gf and told her plainly that" i found someone else and wish you the best". After the break up with my gf, i tried to get back into contact with her, but she was having none of it, don't blame her, might try later on today and think of something to say.

[mendeleyev]

Young Russian girls may be wishy-washy in their own actions, but they will not tolerate the same in guys. Move on.

[southernX]

Young Russian girls may be wishy-washy in their own actions, but they will not tolerate the same in guys. Move on.

that info there DK is the bit you need to reflect on mate

mendy has hit the nail on the head for you ,you are young and your posts are reflecting your thoughts , etc , there just jumping all over the place ,

settle down and think this over seriously , in what you are needing /wanting in your life now and into the future , then decide if you can committ to it 

these fsu girls have radar like no other , there intuition will detect if your at all sketchy in your actions and attitude ,about what you are wanting and can committ to  ...
that imo is why you are having them shut down on you once they realise you are not serious enough ,


get yourself sorted first , then you will have more success imo

SX

[Ludmila]

Dragonkid,
Chances are high you may be scalded. R&U ladies are looking for stability, ( doesn't mean to say that young men cannot provide it). But the way you sound, you don't have a clue whom you're looking for ( except you know the physical criteria), and for what purposes. Young ladies in their 25-30ies ,whose physical characteristics you've mentioned above won't have problems to find somewhat (10-15 yrs) older guy, more educated and financially more stable.
Think about your competative advantages, so to speak. Why would those girls be interested in you? Paperwork to get to uk?-- a road to disaster ( they will leave you when the first chance presents itself). Sex? They can find it on better conditions, so to speak.
This is a serious process, if you aren't looking for sex. Marriage presupposes unity of souls, interests, cultural and social values, and a lot, lot more.
If you DO find a girl physically appealing to you, and she agrees to have a relationship with you at this stage ( when you're not mature at all, except, may be, experienced in sex relationships), you will have a rude awakenning later. In other words,  ( I don't rule it out you're a good person), BUT YOU'RE NOT MARRIAGE MATERIAL YET. it is curable though :-)
Get your education, a relatively well paid job, life experience in general, and then start your journey.
I'm not discouraging you at all, simply giving you the guidelines for better FINAL results. 

[Ludmila]

Also, DK, your nickname suggests "a kid". It reinforces that you're immature, young ( don't know what you're looking for), and , may be, not very serious. When you're contacting a lady, change it for something else,IMHO.

[dragonkid]

Dragonkid,
Chances are high you may be scalded. R&U ladies are looking for stability, ( doesn't mean to say that young men cannot provide it). But the way you sound, you don't have a clue whom you're looking for ( except you know the physical criteria), and for what purposes. Young ladies in their 25-30ies ,whose physical characteristics you've mentioned above won't have problems to find somewhat (10-15 yrs) older guy, more educated and financially more stable.
Think about your competative advantages, so to speak. Why would those girls be interested in you? Paperwork to get to uk?-- a road to disaster ( they will leave you when the first chance presents itself). Sex? They can find it on better conditions, so to speak.
This is a serious process, if you aren't looking for sex. Marriage presupposes unity of souls, interests, cultural and social values, and a lot, lot more.
If you DO find a girl physically appealing to you, and she agrees to have a relationship with you at this stage ( when you're not mature at all, except, may be, experienced in sex relationships), you will have a rude awakenning later. In other words,  ( I don't rule it out you're a good person), BUT YOU'RE NOT MARRIAGE MATERIAL YET. it is curable though :-)
Get your education, a relatively well paid job, life experience in general, and then start your journey.
I'm not discouraging you at all, simply giving you the guidelines for better FINAL results.

i am financially stable,a young average looking guy within their age group, and someone that makes them laugh. The reason i want to get married is i plan on opening a business (alongside managing my parents business), and i like to have someone beside me whilst i am in the uK. I won't have a chance to go spend time in my future FSU wife's country after i start my own business, so it is either i do it now, or never. You are all right, mentally i am not ready.

[BillyB]

i am ... someone that makes them laugh.

Just be sure they're laughing with you, not at you. Serious FSU women want someone serious. Being a clown can hurt your chances with them.

[jone]

Billy speaks to a truth  that is oft stated, but often not recognized by the newbies seeking FSU relationships.

You have to scale back the sophistication of your speech.  When I speak to an FSU woman, I use very simple words, and do not try to tackle complex ideas, even if the woman is somewhat proficient in English.   Why is this?  Because even if the woman can get sentences out in English, it doesn't mean that she knows the nuances behind those words.  She can be thinking one thing, but the words come out differently than she intends.

As for telling a woman about myself, I again stick to very simple definitions.  For instance:  One line that I have used and always seems to strike a chord:  I am seeking happiness and laughter, romance and adventure.

To you and me, that is a sound bite.  But very few men simplify their thoughts to a level that an FSU woman can relate.  These type of sentences allow the relationship to grow.

One more thing:  An FSU woman will replay the conversation you have had with her in her mind for the next week.  (Many of my friends who are married to FSU women say that the woman can remember every conversation that they have ever had!)  So make sure that the words you give her are the ones you want her to take along with her morning cup of coffee.

[Noch1]

DK you sound and act very young, nothing wrong with that except, its not ideal when
searching for the future Mrs DK. After reading some of your posts, it reminded me
of an indian rubber ball, its moving fast and not really sure where its going.

IMO you should write little go on a few trips and learn. The FSU is very different and the women
even more so than western society.

[dragonkid]

DK you sound and act very young, nothing wrong with that except, its not ideal when
searching for the future Mrs DK. After reading some of your posts, it reminded me
of an indian rubber ball, its moving fast and not really sure where its going.

IMO you should write little go on a few trips and learn. The FSU is very different and the women
even more so than western society.

At the moment i calmed down a lot since my break up, i cut down on the people i talk to. I am only chatting to women i like, which is a pretty low amount. I am slowly getting there, this will take some time to find a great girl, but i will get there, i am filtering out people quickly. Time i find the right woman, i will be ready mentally, i just got to be patient with this, and do the basic things.

[southernX]

jone ...One more thing:  An FSU woman will replay the conversation you have had with her in her mind for the next week.  (Many of my friends who are married to FSU women say that the woman can remember every conversation that they have ever had!)  So make sure that the words you give her are the ones you want her to take along with her morning cup of coffee.

DK , there is alot of truth in this above , i found very quickly my wife had a memory much better than mine , and my words where taken absolutley literally in every small detail .. even on small issues where a ''maybe '' or ''might'' was heard to be an implicit commitment of action on my behalf ,  so take this onboard when you are choosing your words

rememeber if you say you will do somehting then make sure you do , or have a bloody good reason why not , because she will hold you to your actions ,

THIS IS A KEY TO BUILDING TRUST  right from the first contact with an fsu lady ,

if your actions /commitment dont match what you have said ???  well expect to be cut and burnt very quickly ime

SX

[alex330]

DK , there is alot of truth in this above , i found very quickly my wife had a memory much better than mine , and my words where taken absolutley literally in every small detail .. even on small issues where a ''maybe '' or ''might'' was heard to be an implicit commitment of action on my behalf ,  so take this onboard when you are choosing your words

rememeber if you say you will do somehting then make sure you do , or have a bloody good reason why not , because she will hold you to your actions ,

So very true....  never hint at anything or allude to possibly doing something or you will be held to it. Actions speak and if you even hint at something it is as good as a promise with these girls.

[I/O]

It gets worse - not opposing something or remaining silent is taken as affirmation.

[dragonkid]

Just be sure they're laughing with you, not at you. Serious FSU women want someone serious. Being a clown can hurt your chances with them.

Showed a pic of her to jone other day, i thought she was high maintenance. She has no idea what i have to offer, my profile makes no indication of that.

http://www.ukrainedate.com/en/profile/showprofile/id/1400312

All you need to do is make them smile, and feel comfortable. I talked to this girl before



Never once did she ask me about what i did in life, initially she was unresponsive after a few jokes and a few months later, she wanted to meet up. I am frugal with money, so talking about money for me is very bad, i would attract a girl who would probably take me to the cleaners, or want me to spend non stop. I am pretty smart when it comes to fishing for the right women, i know what to say and not to say, to attract the right women for me. I am a funny guy, if a girl can't take that, best to move along.

[Ludmila]

i am financially stable,a young average looking guy within their age group, and someone that makes them laugh. The reason i want to get married is i plan on opening a business (alongside managing my parents business), and i like to have someone beside me whilst i am in the uK. I won't have a chance to go spend time in my future FSU wife's country after i start my own business, so it is either i do it now, or never. You are all right, mentally i am not ready.

It is very good, DK, that you realize it. Usually it takes about 6 months to feel it is beginning to hurt less, to recover from a broken relationship and start genuine searching. If you start it earlier, it means you were not so much into the girl you have broken with, or are deceiving yourself in a new relationship. If you  really had a crash on somebody, it is VERY, VERY HARD to forget. But, eventually, it will change and you will start seeing "all the colors and shades" again. Otherwise, you will spoil a relationship with a new potential girl ( who may still be there, after 6 months when you have recovered. But you will no longer be taken back by her because she would have felt that you were into somebody else when you were talking to her and saying all the romantic things and such. You cannot deceive a GENUINE woman. She has a strong intuition).
As to a poem ( you asked about in a neighboring link), it would be  relevant in 2 cases: 1. you're into poetry--which will be clear later and be laughable if you aren't 2. If you are HEAD OVER HEELS into that girl ( which you will have to prove with your subsequent actions. A poem sent to a woman may either mean a downdeep feeling based on spirit, or that you are a driveller and a key board Romeo ( either of these two options will be clear later. If you're the latter, you will have a rude awakening.
Don't fuss around. Take your breath. Man up. Learn to control your hormones, young man. For your own benefit.

[dragonkid]

It is very good, DK, that you realize it. Usually it takes about 6 months to feel it is beginning to hurt less, to recover from a broken relationship and start genuine searching.

I meant i am not ready for marriage, my ex i am over her. I think about her sometimes, but i broke that relationship so badly, it can't be glued back together. You are all right about russian women, they never forget , and hold it against you, next time i will be on my best behaviour.

[Ludmila]

DK, I saw you indicate you have a Master's degree. Judging by the way you word your thoughts, your grammar, there is no way you have Master's . She may not notice it in the beginning, but the lie will surface later. The ladies who aren't sure about the man's degrees, provided they are interested in a man, usually post a portion of the man's post at a ladies' site, and , believe me, it will be subject to the strictest, unsparing scrutiny.
Later on,  coupled with other "innocent"lies, if any, this lie will play against you. If you start this game with a Russian lady, you will get a double portion of the same in return. Think about it.