Update. Not Good.

[BillyB]

My lawyer told me not to worry as the allegations and evidence are flimsy. Still makes me nervous going to court for something I did not do. You never know what can happen.

Your attorney is probably right but you're right that you never know what can happen in court.

I thought she was only threating you with a protection order earlier. Turns out she's going through with it. Do you think she's doing it for a green card or thinking it's going to help her get more out of the divorce?

[lonedrake]

Billy,

It is my assessment, and all my family and friends,that she is mentally ill. She is saying the first five months were like a honeymoon. Then she got bacterial vaginosis. No matter what anyone said, she was convinced I was cheating on her. Like everyday with many women. I was constantly defending myself against cheating charges. Anyone who knows me and tried to explain that is not how I am and anything about bacterial vaginosis, got put on the "they are in on it list".

 Then it evolved to my mother is evil because she killed my father and stepfather. Mind you I was at my dads bedside when he passed away with cancer. My stepfather had a heart attack. She also accusesd my brother of killing his son when he died in a tragic accident. Then she started claiming my mother was going to kill her. That soon turned into my sister also wanted to kill her so my sister could get my money, because of course that's all my sister cares about. All completely false.

Then it got to the only reason I brought her here was so I could kill her. She has convinced others that all of this is true.

She would not agree to therapy in the US. She would dig through my phone and call clients accusing them of cheating with me. Telemarketers were actually my girlfriends. Spam emails were evidence I was cheating or being sued or whatever.

No matter what faults I have or mistakes I made.....I could not continue on like this.

The sad thing is I still love her and know how wonderful she is when her mind is operating correctly.

[fathertime]

Billy,

It is my assessment, and all my family and friends,that she is mentally ill. She is saying the first five months were like a honeymoon. Then she got bacterial vaginosis. No matter what anyone said, she was convinced I was cheating on her. Like everyday with many women. I was constantly defending myself against cheating charges. Anyone who knows me and tried to explain that is not how I am and anything about bacterial vaginosis, got put on the "they are in on it list".

 Then it evolved to my mother is evil because she killed my father and stepfather. Mind you I was at my dads bedside when he passed away with cancer. My stepfather had a heart attack. She also accusesd my brother of killing his son when he died in a tragic accident. Then she started claiming my mother was going to kill her. That soon turned into my sister also wanted to kill her so my sister could get my money, because of course that's all my sister cares about. All completely false.

Then it got to the only reason I brought her here was so I could kill her. She has convinced others that all of this is true.

She would not agree to therapy in the US. She would dig through my phone and call clients accusing them of cheating with me. Telemarketers were actually my girlfriends. Spam emails were evidence I was cheating or being sued or whatever.

No matter what faults I have or mistakes I made.....I could not continue on like this.

The sad thing is I still love her and know how wonderful she is when her mind is operating correctly.

Jeepers!!

I hope you can get over your love for her, and move on...I seriously doubt those types of crazy accusations would go away.  I think in retrospect as this gets further in the rear view mirror you will realize that you have suffered a knife wound, but have dodged a bullet.  Some ladies and men just simply are not cut out to be in relationships, and in this case it seems she isn't...but you still could be, someday down the road! 

Good luck with the court,

Fathertime! 

[Maxx2]

Billy,

It is my assessment, and all my family and friends,that she is mentally ill. She is saying the first five months were like a honeymoon. Then she got bacterial vaginosis. No matter what anyone said, she was convinced I was cheating on her. Like everyday with many women. I was constantly defending myself against cheating charges. Anyone who knows me and tried to explain that is not how I am and anything about bacterial vaginosis, got put on the "they are in on it list".

 Then it evolved to my mother is evil because she killed my father and stepfather. Mind you I was at my dads bedside when he passed away with cancer. My stepfather had a heart attack. She also accusesd my brother of killing his son when he died in a tragic accident. Then she started claiming my mother was going to kill her. That soon turned into my sister also wanted to kill her so my sister could get my money, because of course that's all my sister cares about. All completely false.

Then it got to the only reason I brought her here was so I could kill her. She has convinced others that all of this is true.

She would not agree to therapy in the US. She would dig through my phone and call clients accusing them of cheating with me. Telemarketers were actually my girlfriends. Spam emails were evidence I was cheating or being sued or whatever.

No matter what faults I have or mistakes I made.....I could not continue on like this.

The sad thing is I still love her and know how wonderful she is when her mind is operating correctly.

Reminds of a Russian woman I was interested in. According to her, her mother and sister had conspired with the mafia to take her apartment away from her. That they tried to kill her by running her over with a car. That they installed large speakers to beam a humming sound into her apartment to drive her crazy and out of the apartment. When I heard this I quickly dumped her. A year later I got a e-mail from her that she was upset because of something else she imagined that couldn't possibly be. One of the things a guy has to screen for is mental illness. There is a lot of it over there.

[GregfromGa]

Bee Keeper, have you ever been on an airplane?

[GregfromGa]

Jeepers!!

I hope you can get over your love for her, and move on...I seriously doubt those types of crazy accusations would go away.  I think in retrospect as this gets further in the rear view mirror you will realize that you have suffered a knife wound, but have dodged a bullet.  Some ladies and men just simply are not cut out to be in relationships, and in this case it seems she isn't...but you still could be, someday down the road! 

Good luck with the court,

Fathertime! 

I agree with this. Imagine having kids with this lunatic. People change. Count your blessings that it happened now but at least you got on a plane and rolled the dice. We have posters here that have never applied for a passport yet they seem to have all the answers.

[GuppyCaptain]

Billy,

It is my assessment, and all my family and friends,that she is mentally ill. She is saying the first five months were like a honeymoon. Then she got bacterial vaginosis. No matter what anyone said, she was convinced I was cheating on her. Like everyday with many women. I was constantly defending myself against cheating charges. Anyone who knows me and tried to explain that is not how I am and anything about bacterial vaginosis, got put on the "they are in on it list".

 Then it evolved to my mother is evil because she killed my father and stepfather. Mind you I was at my dads bedside when he passed away with cancer. My stepfather had a heart attack. She also accusesd my brother of killing his son when he died in a tragic accident. Then she started claiming my mother was going to kill her. That soon turned into my sister also wanted to kill her so my sister could get my money, because of course that's all my sister cares about. All completely false.

Then it got to the only reason I brought her here was so I could kill her. She has convinced others that all of this is true.

She would not agree to therapy in the US. She would dig through my phone and call clients accusing them of cheating with me. Telemarketers were actually my girlfriends. Spam emails were evidence I was cheating or being sued or whatever.

No matter what faults I have or mistakes I made.....I could not continue on like this.

The sad thing is I still love her and know how wonderful she is when her mind is operating correctly.

Well, according to one religious lunatic on here you're a complete and utter failure, Drake. Once you divorce this woman you will never be fit for marriage again. I think you should stay with her and honor your vows 

[GregfromGa]

Well, according to one religious lunatic on here you're a complete and utter failure, Drake. Once you divorce this woman you will never be fit for marriage again. I think you should stay with her and honor your vows 

The level that some posters will go to express their totally inexperienced opinions  on this endeavor is astounding. The guy comes here and basically calls everyone an idiot. I've known people like him throughout my life. Harsh opinions and reluctance to ever pull the trigger himself in regards to finding what might be out there. At least some of us tried. He will die a lonely bitter man and people could not care less when that bell tolls.

[JayH]

Guys Guys guys !  The B..  F...er did make a trip to Ukr to look at bee hives-yes-really.

[dragonkid]

Billy,

It is my assessment, and all my family and friends,that she is mentally ill. She is saying the first five months were like a honeymoon. Then she got bacterial vaginosis. No matter what anyone said, she was convinced I was cheating on her. Like everyday with many women. I was constantly defending myself against cheating charges. Anyone who knows me and tried to explain that is not how I am and anything about bacterial vaginosis, got put on the "they are in on it list".

 Then it evolved to my mother is evil because she killed my father and stepfather. Mind you I was at my dads bedside when he passed away with cancer. My stepfather had a heart attack. She also accusesd my brother of killing his son when he died in a tragic accident. Then she started claiming my mother was going to kill her. That soon turned into my sister also wanted to kill her so my sister could get my money, because of course that's all my sister cares about. All completely false.

Then it got to the only reason I brought her here was so I could kill her. She has convinced others that all of this is true.

She would not agree to therapy in the US. She would dig through my phone and call clients accusing them of cheating with me. Telemarketers were actually my girlfriends. Spam emails were evidence I was cheating or being sued or whatever.

No matter what faults I have or mistakes I made.....I could not continue on like this.

The sad thing is I still love her and know how wonderful she is when her mind is operating correctly.

This is a novice mistake, should be made into a sticky. marrying someone with mental illness is never a good idea, dating someone and helping them get past their illness is a different matter. Nobody to blame but yourself, there must have been red flags, but you still married her, and now you are blaming her for her mental health when she moved to be with you. In my opinion, you should have known better. I said this previously but it may have been taken down, you are disclosing all of her mental health on here for people to sympathise with you. If someone leaks this to your ex wife, you will be ruined in court. I hope the sex was good, because you will be paying for it very soon, marry a pretty face with her head not screwed on properly is an amateur mistake.

[Shadow]

 marry a pretty face with her head not screwed on properly is an amateur mistake.

I that why you prefer inexperienced women?

[Shadow]

Billy,

It is my assessment, and all my family and friends,that she is mentally ill. She is saying the first five months were like a honeymoon. Then she got bacterial vaginosis. No matter what anyone said, she was convinced I was cheating on her. Like everyday with many women. I was constantly defending myself against cheating charges. Anyone who knows me and tried to explain that is not how I am and anything about bacterial vaginosis, got put on the "they are in on it list".

 Then it evolved to my mother is evil because she killed my father and stepfather. Mind you I was at my dads bedside when he passed away with cancer. My stepfather had a heart attack. She also accusesd my brother of killing his son when he died in a tragic accident. Then she started claiming my mother was going to kill her. That soon turned into my sister also wanted to kill her so my sister could get my money, because of course that's all my sister cares about. All completely false.

Then it got to the only reason I brought her here was so I could kill her. She has convinced others that all of this is true.

She would not agree to therapy in the US. She would dig through my phone and call clients accusing them of cheating with me. Telemarketers were actually my girlfriends. Spam emails were evidence I was cheating or being sued or whatever.

No matter what faults I have or mistakes I made.....I could not continue on like this.

The sad thing is I still love her and know how wonderful she is when her mind is operating correctly.

Quite a sad story. The problem here is that a divorce will relieve you of the problem, but very likely not cause her to understand that she has issues. Have you considered to see if with professional help an intervention can be done that would make her see her behaviour for what it is?

[Maxx2]

This is a novice mistake, should be made into a sticky. marrying someone with mental illness is never a good idea, dating someone and helping them get past their illness is a different matter.

Hey youngster, there's no fixing crazy.

[dragonkid]

Hey youngster, there's no fixing crazy.

PTSD is treatable.

[Maxx2]

We are talking about crazy not a temporary condition because of stress. 

[dragonkid]

We are talking about crazy not a temporary condition because of stress.

PTSD and depression are both curable.

[dragonkid]

I that why you prefer inexperienced women?

not sure what you mean by that.

[GregfromGa]

This is a novice mistake, should be made into a sticky. marrying someone with mental illness is never a good idea, dating someone and helping them get past their illness is a different matter. Nobody to blame but yourself, there must have been red flags, but you still married her, and now you are blaming her for her mental health when she moved to be with you. In my opinion, you should have known better. I said this previously but it may have been taken down, you are disclosing all of her mental health on here for people to sympathise with you. If someone leaks this to your ex wife, you will be ruined in court. I hope the sex was good, because you will be paying for it very soon, marry a pretty face with her head not screwed on properly is an amateur mistake.

With all due respect DK, I'm going out on a limb here and guessing that she didn't own a tee shirt that read "I'll go bat shit crazy sooner or later" People change. Some people you just cant reach. I could name dozens of instances here that would leave you scratching your head. Very common sense stuff that drives you nuts . My ex is a good mother. I believe she was faithful during our marriage until our breakup. She lost it mentally. I remember thinking how lucky I was during the initial years of our marriage until our two kids came along. She never stood up to her controlling mother. It eventually cost her both of her marriages. I'll be the first one here to cut LD all the slack in the world. Who knows he might be a total tool box and freak show. He might dress up like a pirate and hang out in chat rooms at 3AM. There's no science to any of this madness. People change.

[Anotherkiwi]

PTSD and depression are both curable.

So now you're a psychiatrist?  PTSD may be curable, although I highly doubt it - real, clinical depression is not.  People may be able to hide true depression from others by using medication, but it never completely goes away.

[cc3]

PTSD and depression are both curable.

Sure, snake. Just ask Chris Kyle's widowed wife about that.

[Wayne]

If you have any firearms, you should move them out of your house. The Judge will usually protect the woman.

You could be ordered to pay a certain amount for the support of your wife. If she moved out, it would include her housing, etc.

[dragonkid]

Sure, snake. Just ask Chris Kyle's widowed wife about that.

So now you're a psychiatrist?  PTSD may be curable, although I highly doubt it - real, clinical depression is not.  People may be able to hide true depression from others by using medication, but it never completely goes away.

Oh great i share my knowledge and you guys come up with a load of what exactly? Do you lot know anything about depression? I known people with severe depression come off meds. People do find some happiness at the end, i was fortunate enough to know someone that actively helped a large number of people with mental health problems. So i know it is possible, not always, but it is POSSIBLE. Just so you know, possible doesn't mean certainty, just before you throw cases at me. I won't date people with mental health problems though, not for me, too much for a guy like me to handle.

LD knew prior to marrying his wife, she just didn't change from a normal person to someone that suffers PPD. He made the choice, so instead of bitching to us about how severe her PPD is. He should focus on ensuring his wallet is big enough for when his wife gets her settlement, because she deserves everything she gets. Bringing someone like that to your home country makes you liable to pay if things go south. Poor girl, she came to you and left her life back home, and now you guys expect her to leave empty handed? You lot really expect her to go home quietly? LD is lucky she dropped the false physical violence charges. She is alone, vulnerable in a new country, worried about her financial security for the future, whilst dealing with her mental health problems.

I have a bit of sympathy for LD, but he shouldn't have married someone with mental health problems.

[BillyB]

LD knew prior to marrying his wife, she just didn't change from a normal person to someone that suffers PPD. He made the choice, so instead of bitching to us about how severe her PPD is. He should focus on ensuring his wallet is big enough for when his wife gets her settlement, because she deserves everything she gets. Bringing someone like that to your home country makes you liable to pay if things go south. Poor girl, she came to you and left her life back home, and now you guys expect her to leave empty handed? You lot really expect her to go home quietly? LD is lucky she dropped the false physical violence charges. She is alone, vulnerable in a new country, worried about her financial security in the future, whilst dealing with her mental health problems.

I have a bit of sympathy for LD, but he shouldn't have married someone with mental health problems.

I agree with you a guy shouldn't marry a woman with mental problems because he will pay in the end but where did LD say he knew she had mental problems before marrying her? He said things were fine the first few months.

Any guy in this endeavor looking for love at this time shouldn't ignore red flags and should have plenty of communication with his lady before marrying her. He should have a good understanding how she handles disagreements on issues and real life situations when things don't go smooth. Of course people change too. Women can be affected by hormonal changes.

[alex330]

PTSD can be managed depending on the severity. My brother and a number of men in his unit have it from serving in Iraq. Meditation has helped the most he says, but many men have turned to substance abuse.

They are currently treating vets using MDMA with promising results.

There are obviously varying degrees for those afflicted though. The shell shock soldiers experienced in the first two World Wars in many cases caused irreversible damage. A soldier who experienced something horrible is less vulnerable than a small child in Eastern Ukraine.

Mental illness is another animal. Hard to say whether or not the OP's ex had issues or not. Even those more qualified than any of us on the forum still have much to learn about it.

[Gator]

Lonedrake,

Her mental illness is worse than I imagined.  Delusions require medication and counseling, and having only a FSU psychiatrist via Skype, she would not be receiving any prescription meds.  Also, considering the low attention given to mental health in the FSU, I question the capacity of her FSU doctor to help her.   

A few will criticize you for not recognizing your wife's  mental illness when dating her.  Not easily done.   I was married to the mother of my two sons for over 10  years before it became apparent she needed help for clinical depression. . 

When in the FSU your wife was able to cope because of her network of family, friends, and doctor.  She somehow fought through her mental condition to appear competent.  However, moving to America separated her from her coping network, plus added the stress of culture shock.   The change was too much for her to cope. 

Your wife needs help.  Her condition especially without therapy and meds could deteriorate to hallucinations.   It sounds as if you tried to help, yet if she does not want to help herself, there is little you can do.  It is probably best that she return to Ukraine to be near her family, friends, culture, and doctor. 

I hope your luck improves.  I believe you are taking the correct step.  Spouses of psychotic people can exhibit similar symptoms over time.