Update. Not Good.

[alex330]

I concur, didn't Lonedrake say he left her in the house from what I recall of this thread? Haven't got time to look through it all again but that seems crazy if right. I mean it was his house before the marriage (and a short marriage at that) and she comes along wanting to kick him out off his own house overnight (I know he theoretically chose to leave), I think the cheek of it, she must think Lonedrake look so weak as to be easily taken for it all. I mean for sure put her up somewhere cheap (rental/B&B/cheap/Hotel) to be humane but after first initial payment down to her to source her continuing accommodation.

It can vary depending on State here in the US. Where I live if an officer shows up or there is any trouble at all the man must leave the home. Even if his house, and then it is sorted out later. It is usually easiest to just walk if you are the man to avoid potentially bigger problems.

[lonedrake]

Just to clear things up a little bit. She saw an attorney long before I did. Now she did say it was about immigration, but I assume they talked about more than that. She did say I would never divorce her because it would cost me over 100,000.

So somebody is telling her that. I am not sure who it is, however I believe bothieus assertion about online is most likely accurate. She certainly is not listening to the advice of her attorney. I think the attorney will actually drop her.

 If I could sit down and negotiate with her I would. I am fairly easy to deal with in situations like this. I see the bigger picture.

She has moved out of the house. I have changed the locks. The house was paid off about 10 years ago. The most she is entitled to would be 50% of the appreciation since we were married. Minnesota has a fairly clear view of premarital property.

I will be giving money to my wife next week I believe for temporary support. How much will be determined by my lawyer.  We see the situation pretty much eye to eye.

My lawyer and the judge are both women. The judge found my testimony" largely credible".

Still....the situation....particularly hers...makes me sad. I did not look into hers eyes at the courtroom. My sister did and she said her eyes looked hollow and she appeared to look much older.

[GregfromGa]

I'm going to go ahead and put it on record that  I think she will go through at least 3 lawyers. No way in hell you should give her $3000 a month. I'm guessing she'll probably hook up with some snapperhead a little later on. Hopefully he'll tell her what she wants to hear and she'll just want you out of the picture. I had 2 kids so my situation was extremely different. It's a shame my ex never talked to a single person that offered her any sound advice then again my ex was playing the old mental,physical and emotional abuse card. People that know me knew it was all bs.  Tonight at church my ex saw me with my girlfriend for the first time. She has to finally realize that she lost the best thing ever in her life. The sweet girl I married changed. I witnessed her slowly become her miserable mother. It was like watching a slow train wreck. Good luck LD with this. People that haven't been through it have no clue.

[GuppyCaptain]

Hang in there LD. It sucks now but getting out of a miserable marriage is like going from a cold, grey winter day to that first day of full on spring. It's within reach. 

[fathertime]

Just to clear things up a little bit. She saw an attorney long before I did. Now she did say it was about immigration, but I assume they talked about more than that. She did say I would never divorce her because it would cost me over 100,000.

So somebody is telling her that. I am not sure who it is, however I believe bothieus assertion about online is most likely accurate. She certainly is not listening to the advice of her attorney. I think the attorney will actually drop her.

 If I could sit down and negotiate with her I would. I am fairly easy to deal with in situations like this. I see the bigger picture.

She has moved out of the house. I have changed the locks. The house was paid off about 10 years ago. The most she is entitled to would be 50% of the appreciation since we were married. Minnesota has a fairly clear view of premarital property.

I will be giving money to my wife next week I believe for temporary support. How much will be determined by my lawyer.  We see the situation pretty much eye to eye.

My lawyer and the judge are both women. The judge found my testimony" largely credible".

Still....the situation....particularly hers...makes me sad. I did not look into hers eyes at the courtroom. My sister did and she said her eyes looked hollow and she appeared to look much older.

Jeez...the fact that she is a bit bonkers is going to cost you dearly in court ordered support, and double attorney's fees.  I'm completely disgusted for you.  Given the situation, I guess you just have to stay the course and not permit the situation to consume you...Kiss the 25K or more away, and be grateful you have the freedom to move on. 


You can feel sorry for her later (if you still want to after the forthcoming reaming)..right now she is acting like an entitled vampire to your hard earned cash.  If this were a longer marriage I'd probably feel differently.   Your case is going to be a good example for people newer to the scene to read about..as a warning of what can happen when international marriages go wrong.  My opinion leans towards, most genuinely nice guys probably shouldn't even get involved, unless you are truly a great judge of a woman's character/motivations..etc etc...  If you notice on the website most of the longer international marriages are with guys that are snarling dicks...




Fathertime! 

[Maxx2]

Through my wife, I know of three RW divorced from a short marriage who essentially received nothing. [size=78%]   [/size]

Make that 4 and I was divorced in Minnesota and was making low six figures. What will happen to the OP is probably going to be less than what he imagines.


The OFP is so she has evidence of abuse to include in her Immigration attorneys I-360 packet to the USCIS in Vermont where these self petitions are processed. All this will happen without any clue of it happening to Lonedrake. It is all secret Star chamber stuff that is between the petitioner and the USCIS. Women can even do this while they are still living with the so called "abuser."

[Faux Pas]

Just to clear things up a little bit. She saw an attorney long before I did. Now she did say it was about immigration, but I assume they talked about more than that. She did say I would never divorce her because it would cost me over 100,000.

So somebody is telling her that. I am not sure who it is, however I believe bothieus assertion about online is most likely accurate. She certainly is not listening to the advice of her attorney. I think the attorney will actually drop her.

 If I could sit down and negotiate with her I would. I am fairly easy to deal with in situations like this. I see the bigger picture.

She has moved out of the house. I have changed the locks. The house was paid off about 10 years ago. The most she is entitled to would be 50% of the appreciation since we were married. Minnesota has a fairly clear view of premarital property.

I will be giving money to my wife next week I believe for temporary support. How much will be determined by my lawyer.  We see the situation pretty much eye to eye.

My lawyer and the judge are both women. The judge found my testimony" largely credible".

Still....the situation....particularly hers...makes me sad. I did not look into hers eyes at the courtroom. My sister did and she said her eyes looked hollow and she appeared to look much older.

I am beginning to wonder about your lawyer. In most states premarital assets she wouldn't be entitled to. Sure she would be entitled to any assets acquired after the marriage. Given her immigrant situation she is entitled to a lot of help financially to get settled and her life in order. You are on the hook for that and it is the right thing to do. What that is and how much it is, is for the courts to decide. However, those premarital assets mainly your house should remain your house. It's a bit surprising they didn't insist you move out until you had a court settlement though

[JayH]

LD-- one area  the forum can be useful is in helping direct you to the issues and questions you need to be asking.
Lawyers can be anywhere from excellent to woeful -- and in your consideration the response to your questions is important to resolving in an acceptable way to you,
If you like--you need to ask the right question-to get the right answer!
It is hard to get a 2nd opinion on every issue as it arises--but making your own notes and keeping tabs of each issue can only help you.
Do not hesitate to repeat questions--until you thoroughly understand each answer -- do not be intimidated by legal speak.
The best lawyers are able to explain in laymans language  as they go.

[lonedrake]

Faux pas, you are correct about the house. The only way she would be entitled to 50% appreciation is if was an active appreciation. That is not the case. It is all passive appreciation. That was my understanding and nothing my lawyer told me.

[BillyB]

She certainly is not listening to the advice of her attorney. I think the attorney will actually drop her.

Hopefully the attorney will stay with her for two reasons. One being that if she keeps rotating attorneys, you will pay big for each new attorney having to educate themselves on the case from the beginning. Because you're still married, she's entitled to access the marital finances. The other reason you should hope her attorney sticks with her is because that attorney may not work hard for her knowing she's a gold digger. The last thing you need is her getting an attorney that will work hard for your ex.

My lawyer and the judge are both women. The judge found my testimony" largely credible".

It doesn't matter if you're the good guy and she's a bitch, it's not against the law to be a bitch and a judge can give her everything she thinks your ex is entitled to, in many cases more than expected.

The only way she would be entitled to 50% appreciation is if was an active appreciation. That is not the case. It is all passive appreciation. That was my understanding and nothing my lawyer told me.

Don't trust the appraiser your wife's attorney hires. You may learn your house appreciated by $75,000 since you were married and the appraiser will be considered an expert witness in court. You may have to hire an appraiser yourself. Be careful here because this is where you can lose big. Half of $75,000 is a chunk of change.

[Marta7]

Sorry to hear.

I am ukrainen. You need I am. I started working on the farm from the second month of stay in the United States. I washed the tractors, cleaned the garage after the tractors, I spraying  pesticides weeds I was mowing the grass, I cleaned the house, I cut through the woods to the mother of my husband. For 8 months I got an American driving license, I am a student 8 months already. I live in the us only 1 year and 6 months years. And my man was cheating on me with another American. She's writing to me- You have no husband....you have a master....you're like a slave who was bought for sex (and I was told by said husband that he'd prefer to make love to me) we used to make love in the boat even! Was awesome . And+ how you can't move because if you do it sends an electric current through him? Oh wait....I forgot....you're not good enough to make that happen , and + I am the best....at least in bed is what he told me last week , and - Yes ma'am....he has to because you are worthless in bed also just like everything else lol oh....except your craziness. ....you excel there! 91% lol, and- Here's the thing you need to learn about American's. ....we protect those we love....when people like you are a threat to them in anyway, we will ALWAYS protect them!, and- I don't have sex....I make love....there's a difference and it is why you suck at it  ))), and - Of course he did! You're coocoo (crazy), stupid, greedy, and idiotical he says .

[Marta7]

I'm really sorry to hear that things didn't work out.
I wish you success as you start the next chapter in your life.


I have a hundred divorce jokes to lighten the mood but will only tell one here. 
Why does divorce cost so much? It's because it's worth it.

Udachi!

I am ukrainen. You need I am. I started working on the farm from the second month of stay in the United States. I washed the tractors, cleaned the garage after the tractors, I spraying  pesticides weeds I was mowing the grass, I cleaned the house, I cut through the woods to the mother of my husband. For 8 months I got an American driving license, I am a student 8 months already. I live in the us only 1 year and 6 months years. And my man was cheating on me with another American. She's writing to me- You have no husband....you have a master....you're like a slave who was bought for sex (and I was told by said husband that he'd prefer to make love to me) we used to make love in the boat even! Was awesome . And+ how you can't move because if you do it sends an electric current through him? Oh wait....I forgot....you're not good enough to make that happen , and + I am the best....at least in bed is what he told me last week , and - Yes ma'am....he has to because you are worthless in bed also just like everything else lol oh....except your craziness. ....you excel there! 91% lol, and- Here's the thing you need to learn about American's. ....we protect those we love....when people like you are a threat to them in anyway, we will ALWAYS protect them!, and- I don't have sex....I make love....there's a difference and it is why you suck at it  ))), and - Of course he did! You're coocoo (crazy), stupid, greedy, and idiotical he says .
Lonedrake my husband.

[Marta7]

LD, who initiated the filing of the divorce papers? Did you both agree to move forward with the divorce or was there a surprise element involved?

If you filed and she was not expecting the papers I hoped you prepared and planned your life ahead of time to prepare for the fall out. Hopefully it was a mutual agreement.

I remember posting my opinion when you were discussing your relationship on the forum. I always hate to see sincere, good men get burned and the reason for posting my thoughts and opinions on your relationship even if they seemed "negative" to most readers.

Good luck with all.

Lonedrake my husband.
I am ukrainen. You need I am. I started working on the farm from the second month of stay in the United States. I washed the tractors, cleaned the garage after the tractors, I spraying  pesticides weeds I was mowing the grass, I cleaned the house, I cut through the woods to the mother of my husband. For 8 months I got an American driving license, I am a student 8 months already. I live in the us only 1 year and 6 months years. And my man was cheating on me with another American. She's writing to me- You have no husband....you have a master....you're like a slave who was bought for sex (and I was told by said husband that he'd prefer to make love to me) we used to make love in the boat even! Was awesome . And+ how you can't move because if you do it sends an electric current through him? Oh wait....I forgot....you're not good enough to make that happen , and + I am the best....at least in bed is what he told me last week , and - Yes ma'am....he has to because you are worthless in bed also just like everything else lol oh....except your craziness. ....you excel there! 91% lol, and- Here's the thing you need to learn about American's. ....we protect those we love....when people like you are a threat to them in anyway, we will ALWAYS protect them!, and- I don't have sex....I make love....there's a difference and it is why you suck at it  ))), and - Of course he did! You're coocoo (crazy), stupid, greedy, and idiotical he says .

[Marta7]

It sounds like you have a good attitude and approach thus far.  As Billyb said, you really want to avoid a contentious court battle.  The costs can be onerous and they will all fall on you in this situation.  So at least in that respect being a little generous, aside from being nice, can be beneficial to you.  Since you have decided to divorce, I'd also say GET IT DONE, don't waver or hesitate, the more time that passes the more that can go wrong.

I'm sorry to read that you are sad over all this.  You can look on the bright side, you are free to see other ladies again if you so choose, and the burden of a difficult relationship is moving farther away in the rear view mirror.  Being divorced is usually for the best, and both individuals can wind up much happier with a different person, or single. 

Lonedrake my husband

[Marta7]

Not true.  Read on Visa Journey.  Foreign spouse can apply on his/her own for 10 year card, even if divorcing or divorced.

There was a lot of misinformation on these discussion sites about it; and guys were always warning about what would happen once 730 days passed by.  But, in reality, the foreign spouse does not have to wait even that long . . . to file on their own.

All they have to show is that the marriage was valid and not a sham up to the decision to divorce.

am ukrainen. You need I am. I started working on the farm from the second month of stay in the United States. I washed the tractors, cleaned the garage after the tractors, I spraying  pesticides weeds I was mowing the grass, I cleaned the house, I cut through the woods to the mother of my husband. For 8 months I got an American driving license, I am a student 8 months already. I live in the us only 1 year and 6 months years. And my man was cheating on me with another American. She's writing to me- You have no husband....you have a master....you're like a slave who was bought for sex (and I was told by said husband that he'd prefer to make love to me) we used to make love in the boat even! Was awesome . And+ how you can't move because if you do it sends an electric current through him? Oh wait....I forgot....you're not good enough to make that happen , and + I am the best....at least in bed is what he told me last week , and - Yes ma'am....he has to because you are worthless in bed also just like everything else lol oh....except your craziness. ....you excel there! 91% lol, and- Here's the thing you need to learn about American's. ....we protect those we love....when people like you are a threat to them in anyway, we will ALWAYS protect them!, and- I don't have sex....I make love....there's a difference and it is why you suck at it  ))), and - Of course he did! You're coocoo (crazy), stupid, greedy, and idiotical he says .

Gator can verify this info.

[Marta7]

oh, but it does.
otherwise, why don't we see any 50yo WM marrying 80-85yo babushkas from FSU?

am ukrainen. You need I am. I started working on the farm from the second month of stay in the United States. I washed the tractors, cleaned the garage after the tractors, I spraying  pesticides weeds I was mowing the grass, I cleaned the house, I cut through the woods to the mother of my husband. For 8 months I got an American driving license, I am a student 8 months already. I live in the us only 1 year and 6 months years. And my man was cheating on me with another American. She's writing to me- You have no husband....you have a master....you're like a slave who was bought for sex (and I was told by said husband that he'd prefer to make love to me) we used to make love in the boat even! Was awesome . And+ how you can't move because if you do it sends an electric current through him? Oh wait....I forgot....you're not good enough to make that happen , and + I am the best....at least in bed is what he told me last week , and - Yes ma'am....he has to because you are worthless in bed also just like everything else lol oh....except your craziness. ....you excel there! 91% lol, and- Here's the thing you need to learn about American's. ....we protect those we love....when people like you are a threat to them in anyway, we will ALWAYS protect them!, and- I don't have sex....I make love....there's a difference and it is why you suck at it  ))), and - Of course he did! You're coocoo (crazy), stupid, greedy, and idiotical he says .

Lonedrake my husband

[Marta7]

Actually, Gator, you are right. But, I did not intentionally hijack lonedrake's thread. I was just scattershooting, random thoughts entered into my head when I was worrying about all that can go wrong for me in the future, along the lines of all that went wrong for lonedrake, who I am sure is just as good of a man as I am. And what steps I can take to potentially minimize my chances of failure and maximize my chances of success. If the mods want to delete my posts and everyone else's subsequent posts related to my posts, please do. Never my intention to disrespect a man, lonedrake, who is going through some rough times right now. Mods, feel free to delete my and others' posts. I cannot delete my own posts because others, unfortunately, have already quoted my posts.

I am ukrainen. You need I am. I started working on the farm from the second month of stay in the United States. I washed the tractors, cleaned the garage after the tractors, I spraying  pesticides weeds I was mowing the grass, I cleaned the house, I cut through the woods to the mother of my husband. For 8 months I got an American driving license, I am a student 8 months already. I live in the us only 1 year and 6 months years. And my man was cheating on me with another American. She's writing to me- You have no husband....you have a master....you're like a slave who was bought for sex (and I was told by said husband that he'd prefer to make love to me) we used to make love in the boat even! Was awesome . And+ how you can't move because if you do it sends an electric current through him? Oh wait....I forgot....you're not good enough to make that happen , and + I am the best....at least in bed is what he told me last week , and - Yes ma'am....he has to because you are worthless in bed also just like everything else lol oh....except your craziness. ....you excel there! 91% lol, and- Here's the thing you need to learn about American's. ....we protect those we love....when people like you are a threat to them in anyway, we will ALWAYS protect them!, and- I don't have sex....I make love....there's a difference and it is why you suck at it  ))), and - Of course he did! You're coocoo (crazy), stupid, greedy, and idiotical he says .


Lonedrake my husband

[Marta7]

I don't know how a judge will look at Lonedrake's wife counseling. I'm going to assume her lawyer is going to play this in court and of course Lonedrake wiil be the reason for her needing counseling. If both Lonedrake and his wife agree the counseling was necessary, the judge may see counseling as a necessary step for the wife's mental health. Whether or not the judge sends her to an American counselor instead, you can be sure he tells Lonedrake to pay for it. Although the marriage is going down, they are still legally married and it's "their" money, not Lonedrake's so the wife is entitled to use "their" money for her needs. Although they are separated now and she's declared war, he's the only party bringing in money and he will be the party paying for all expenses during the divorce. If he doesn't have a significant amount of money in the bank, he needs to start looking into borrowing money off his assets. Lonedrake may not like what is going to happen, but he should feel comfort knowing there will be an end to this.

I am ukrainen. You need I am. I started working on the farm from the second month of stay in the United States. I washed the tractors, cleaned the garage after the tractors, I spraying  pesticides weeds I was mowing the grass, I cleaned the house, I cut through the woods to the mother of my husband. For 8 months I got an American driving license, I am a student 8 months already. I live in the us only 1 year and 6 months years. And my man was cheating on me with another American. She's writing to me- You have no husband....you have a master....you're like a slave who was bought for sex (and I was told by said husband that he'd prefer to make love to me) we used to make love in the boat even! Was awesome . And+ how you can't move because if you do it sends an electric current through him? Oh wait....I forgot....you're not good enough to make that happen , and + I am the best....at least in bed is what he told me last week , and - Yes ma'am....he has to because you are worthless in bed also just like everything else lol oh....except your craziness. ....you excel there! 91% lol, and- Here's the thing you need to learn about American's. ....we protect those we love....when people like you are a threat to them in anyway, we will ALWAYS protect them!, and- I don't have sex....I make love....there's a difference and it is why you suck at it  ))), and - Of course he did! You're coocoo (crazy), stupid, greedy, and idiotical he says .
Lonedrake my husband

[Marta7]

LMAO


I didn't call anyone a misogynist. Funny how you can "read between the lines" in some cases and are totally blind for others.


My point was simple. Mies was giving the FSUW's perspective and maybe LD could take some useful advice from it.


And then, you can "read between the lines" from the male members and determine how sage their advice was. 

What do you want?

[Boethius]

All Muzh is saying is there are two sides to every story.

[Marta7]

So if I read you right, she was untruthful regarding the need for protection, and the court agreed with you.   What about how the monthly payments and the house? I don't recall all your details, but my impression is this was a very short relationship, and her going for your house is a sign that she wants to be paid out big time. 


Fathertime!   

You offered me$ 500 a month , why do you bullshit?

[Marta7]

Jeepers!!

I hope you can get over your love for her, and move on...I seriously doubt those types of crazy accusations would go away.  I think in retrospect as this gets further in the rear view mirror you will realize that you have suffered a knife wound, but have dodged a bullet.  Some ladies and men just simply are not cut out to be in relationships, and in this case it seems she isn't...but you still could be, someday down the road! 

Good luck with the court,

Fathertime! 

I am ukrainen. You need I am. I started working on the farm from the second month of stay in the United States. I washed the tractors, cleaned the garage after the tractors, I spraying  pesticides weeds I was mowing the grass, I cleaned the house, I cut through the woods to the mother of my husband. For 8 months I got an American driving license, I am a student 8 months already. I live in the us only 1 year and 6 months years. And my man was cheating on me with another American. She's writing to me- You have no husband....you have a master....you're like a slave who was bought for sex (and I was told by said husband that he'd prefer to make love to me) we used to make love in the boat even! Was awesome . And+ how you can't move because if you do it sends an electric current through him? Oh wait....I forgot....you're not good enough to make that happen , and + I am the best....at least in bed is what he told me last week , and - Yes ma'am....he has to because you are worthless in bed also just like everything else lol oh....except your craziness. ....you excel there! 91% lol, and- Here's the thing you need to learn about American's. ....we protect those we love....when people like you are a threat to them in anyway, we will ALWAYS protect them!, and- I don't have sex....I make love....there's a difference and it is why you suck at it  ))), and - Of course he did! You're coocoo (crazy), stupid, greedy, and idiotical he says .

[Marta7]

I'm going to go ahead and put it on record that  I think she will go through at least 3 lawyers. No way in hell you should give her $3000 a month. I'm guessing she'll probably hook up with some snapperhead a little later on. Hopefully he'll tell her what she wants to hear and she'll just want you out of the picture. I had 2 kids so my situation was extremely different. It's a shame my ex never talked to a single person that offered her any sound advice then again my ex was playing the old mental,physical and emotional abuse card. People that know me knew it was all bs.  Tonight at church my ex saw me with my girlfriend for the first time. She has to finally realize that she lost the best thing ever in her life. The sweet girl I married changed. I witnessed her slowly become her miserable mother. It was like watching a slow train wreck. Good luck LD with this. People that haven't been through it have no clue.

I am ukrainen. You need I am. I started working on the farm from the second month of stay in the United States. I washed the tractors, cleaned the garage after the tractors, I spraying  pesticides weeds I was mowing the grass, I cleaned the house, I cut through the woods to the mother of my husband. For 8 months I got an American driving license, I am a student 8 months already. I live in the us only 1 year and 6 months years. And my man was cheating on me with another American. She's writing to me- You have no husband....you have a master....you're like a slave who was bought for sex (and I was told by said husband that he'd prefer to make love to me) we used to make love in the boat even! Was awesome . And+ how you can't move because if you do it sends an electric current through him? Oh wait....I forgot....you're not good enough to make that happen , and + I am the best....at least in bed is what he told me last week , and - Yes ma'am....he has to because you are worthless in bed also just like everything else lol oh....except your craziness. ....you excel there! 91% lol, and- Here's the thing you need to learn about American's. ....we protect those we love....when people like you are a threat to them in anyway, we will ALWAYS protect them!, and- I don't have sex....I make love....there's a difference and it is why you suck at it  ))), and - Of course he did! You're coocoo (crazy), stupid, greedy, and idiotical he says .

[Marta7]

I'm going to go ahead and put it on record that  I think she will go through at least 3 lawyers. No way in hell you should give her $3000 a month. I'm guessing she'll probably hook up with some snapperhead a little later on. Hopefully he'll tell her what she wants to hear and she'll just want you out of the picture. I had 2 kids so my situation was extremely different. It's a shame my ex never talked to a single person that offered her any sound advice then again my ex was playing the old mental,physical and emotional abuse card. People that know me knew it was all bs.  Tonight at church my ex saw me with my girlfriend for the first time. She has to finally realize that she lost the best thing ever in her life. The sweet girl I married changed. I witnessed her slowly become her miserable mother. It was like watching a slow train wreck. Good luck LD with this. People that haven't been through it have no clue.

I never planned to break up with you

[Marta7]

So if I read you right, she was untruthful regarding the need for protection, and the court agreed with you.   What about how the monthly payments and the house? I don't recall all your details, but my impression is this was a very short relationship, and her going for your house is a sign that she wants to be paid out big time. 


Fathertime!   

I never planned to break up with you