Update. Not Good.

[Marta7]

So why not look for an affordable apartment, and ask lonedrake to pay for it, perhaps cosign the lease for a one year period?  That would be fair.  Find one close to where you intend to find employment, and close to grocery stores, so that your expenses are minimized.  Even if he doesn't want contact with you, I am certain he'd be willing to help you find a decent affordable apartment which would be a safe and convenient place to live.

You may have lost your marriage, but you also have to deal with reality. 

The reality of your potential divorce settlement is what your lawyer advises the upside will be.  Be willing to accept less than that to settle it and get on with your life. 

The reality of your future life is you have to improve your English.  Take ESL courses, which lonedrake should pay for.  You will have to speak English well if you are to function in the US.  Your writing suggests your English is not at a fluent level yet, though you may understand more than the written word suggests, as written communication is always the most difficult to master.

The reality is, you are going to have to work from the bottom to make your own way.  Yes, it is tough, but that's life.  It's no different from most immigrants, in fact, it is better because you do have some income from your ex to fall back on.

Give outstanding service to customers when you are working.  Listen to their problems sympathetically, and remember the customer is always right.  In your line of work, tips will be an important source of income.

Go get some counselling to deal with your anger at lonedrake, and your pain.  You are still young enough to find someone else, but that relationship will not succeed if lonedrake is still in your heart and mind.

Thanks. I am student.

[dragonkid]

So you think paying $3,000 a month to an ex-wife WITH NO CHILDREN INVOLVED is okay or normal? You apparently have no clue about this.

For 10 months? Of course i would find it reasonable, if you bring someone to your home, disrupt their lives, you should pay. I had a chance where a girl i knew wanted to drop her chance of a masters, to come to the uk and work as an au pair, but unlike most men, i told her not to do it as i feel responsible for her decisions in life. Same with my recent ex, i told her clearly, i wouldn't want her to disrupt her life, till we got married, i would do all the work. Some of you talk big about your love and great hearts, but only shows when a woman's legs are wide open, as soon they shut so does your compassion.

Atleast the woman doesn't leave the relationship feeling like she was used as a sex slave. She gets to move on, and a chance to make something of her life in a new country, or go back home, buy a nice home, and continue with her life.

[Trenchcoat]

For 10 months? Of course i would find it reasonable, if you bring someone to your home, disrupt their lives, you should pay. I had a chance where a girl i knew wanted to drop her chance of a masters, to come to the uk and work as an au pair, but unlike most men, i told her not to do it as i feel responsible for her decisions in life. Same with my recent ex, i told her clearly, i wouldn't want her to disrupt her life, till we got married, i would do all the work. Some of you talk big about your love and great hearts, but only shows when a woman's legs are wide open, as soon they shut so does your compassion.

Atleast the woman doesn't leave the relationship feeling like she was used as a sex slave. She gets to move on, and a chance to make something of her life in a new country, or go back home, buy a nice home, and continue with her life.

You know you have to break a horse in DK Subjugating the woman is an expected requirement when dating RW, lol.

I would do the decent thing and pay for initial rent deposit/first months rent or flight back with the same plus of course some money for food. After that it's the woman's responsibility to sign on, get job, whatever. If she's wanting to go her own way fine but that also starts a departure from my responsibility I believe. Paying a load of money continuously would make me feel like a mug, but for sure you have a point in that she should get some support to offset the disruption that's come about rather than just be dumped completely.

[Darth_Budda]

My first wife was an american girl...
She lived with me for 5 years..
When we split... She got nothing.....

But I owned all the big items in my life before I weet her...
And I got a good Lawyer...

I even Kept the Child.. 

Heck,, she pays me child support....
$20 every Month!!!!  Rolling in the cash.,..  "Actually she is behind in payments" ,,, A Lot!!!

Depending on where you live...  Women do not just get half of everything...
They get half of what they contributed to the relationship.... only....


With that being said....
When I get Vika to New York..

I will open a bank account for her..
I read a crazy Internet article.. I thought it sounded cute...

http://shareably.net/deposit-your-happiness/?utm_source=scrape&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=scrape&utm_term=3RC1xUqqX-5QGXNzddJcXiK_FOdkg_zqfx59_6B9Jlg%3D

I will put in enough money for her to get back to Ukraine, and live a few months...

We will add to the money in the bank over time...

If she wants to leave... She will have to withdraw the money and the memories..

[BillyB]

We will add to the money in the bank over time...

If she wants to leave... She will have to withdraw the money and the memories..

The story in the article was cute but most people's memories are not tied into money. If a woman is insincere, memories aren't important to her.

Make sure you put your wife's name on your bank account, utility bills, and car. You will need to show proof to an interviewer in the future to prove the marriage is legit. A separate bank account by either of you can be used against you.

[Darth_Budda]

Is this when she registers for permanent residence once she gets to the USA?

[BillyB]

Is this when she registers for permanent residence once she gets to the USA?

Yes. You are going to get married first and use the proof to get the temporary green card. Before that temp GC expires, you are going to do the paperwork to get the permanent green card and you both will be scheduled to go to an interview. Don't wait a few weeks before the interview to put your wife's name on everything. It'll look fishy. Ask questions each time you're at immigration on what happens next. Things could've changed since I did it years ago.

[dragonkid]

I will open a bank account for her..
I read a crazy Internet article.. I thought it sounded cute...

http://shareably.net/deposit-your-happiness/?utm_source=scrape&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=scrape&utm_term=3RC1xUqqX-5QGXNzddJcXiK_FOdkg_zqfx59_6B9Jlg%3D

Both fictional stories but it makes you wonder.

http://www.godupdates.com/he-wanted-a-divorce-but-her-secret-brought-me-to-tears/

ANyways about this story, lonedark brought this on to himself. he never told any of us about his ex ringing his wife saying stuff like

Your own family wanted you to leave Ukraine so they didn't have to be close to you. That is why they allowed an American to buy you from them. Now, THAT is messed up! Lmao!

She knew a lot about his wifes personal life, which was his fault for crying to others and disclosing his marriage problems with every person he met. Even i know that you should never cry to family, it will just cause a war between your partner and your blood relatives. He should have rang the woman, and told her piss off, whilst his wife was beside him. We will never know if he cheated or not, he handled his whole marriage the wrong way, from start to finish, and a lot of it is his fault. It is nice he wants to pay to help his wife get back on her feet, i just despise the guy for telling people about his wifes mental health problems.I dated a girl with mental health problems, my story is 10x worse than his, and i handled it much better.

[jone]

It is interesting reading your commentary on other people's relationships and sharing too much information, Dragon Kid.  Your first post here was to put up unpermitted pictures and tell everyone how you despoiled a virgin and left her because she wasn't affectionate enough.  It was, what amounted to, a driveby shooting.  But, please, have at it, as you are an expert on marriage.

[Marta7]

It is interesting reading your commentary on other people's relationships and sharing too much information, Dragon Kid.  Your first post here was to put up unpermitted pictures and tell everyone how you despoiled a virgin and left her because she wasn't affectionate enough.  It was, what amounted to, a driveby shooting.  But, please, have at it, as you are an expert on marriage.

Hi Friends, Linendrake was cheating on me, he humiliated my human and feminine dignity . He lied that in America , neighbors don't socialize, don't talk to the neighbors, because it's bad, the neighbors will think you're crazy . He misinformed me . He left me at Christmas, one for three days and at Easter, he left me. He does not pay me any money. He plays the role of the victim, but he is a demon.

[ML]

Marta, do you want to stay in USA or do you want to return to Ukraine ?

And what are the reasons of your choice ?

[Marta7]

Marta, do you want to stay in USA or do you want to return to Ukraine ?

And what are the reasons of your choice ?

I don't now yet

[Marta7]

Marta, do you want to stay in USA or do you want to return to Ukraine ?

And what are the reasons of your choice ?

He came to court with her mother , sister and brother:)), male 48 years. He is with the mother to court. Comedy. And I am alone.

[jone]

Hi Friends, Linendrake was cheating on me, he humiliated my human and feminine dignity . He lied that in America , neighbors don't socialize, don't talk to the neighbors, because it's bad, the neighbors will think you're crazy . He misinformed me . He left me at Christmas, one for three days and at Easter, he left me. He does not pay me any money. He plays the role of the victim, but he is a demon.

Marta,

You should know that we are not your friends.  We are people that converse on an internet forum.  Most of us have never met before.  However, we sympathize that you are hurting and wish you to a better future.

You have been asked on the forum, repeatedly, for evidence that your husband was cheating on you.  As I read your responses, you have not proved that he has cheated on you.  Yet you continue to accuse him.

I believe that he gave too much information to the public forum when he came on here and asked for advice.  But you should know that I am certain that his attorney has advised him not to post on here any more.

We do not know the details of your relationship.  But I grew up in a small town in Wisconsin and can tell you that everyone in a small town knows everyone else's business.  So things that you attribute to LD sharing with certain individuals may or may not have happened.  You do not know unless he tells you.

Should you decide to stay where you are now and live in your community, you will have to be wary about sharing your personal information. 

I realize that you are hurting, terribly, right now.  We are not capable of knowing, fully, your circumstances and can only wish you peace and a future, better life.

[Marta7]

Marta,

You should know that we are not your friends.  We are people that converse on an internet forum.  Most of us have never met before.  However, we sympathize that you are hurting and wish you to a better future.

You have been asked on the forum, repeatedly, for evidence that your husband was cheating on you.  As I read your responses, you have not proved that he has cheated on you.  Yet you continue to accuse him.

I believe that he gave too much information to the public forum when he came on here and asked for advice.  But you should know that I am certain that his attorney has advised him not to post on here any more.

We do not know the details of your relationship.  But I grew up in a small town in Wisconsin and can tell you that everyone in a small town knows everyone else's business.  So things that you attribute to LD sharing with certain individuals may or may not have happened.  You do not know unless he tells you.

Should you decide to stay where you are now and live in your community, you will have to be wary about sharing your personal information. 

I realize that you are hurting, terribly, right now.  We are not capable of knowing, fully, your circumstances and can only wish you peace and a future, better life.

"To laugh is to risk appearing the fool,
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental,
To reach out for another is to risk involvement,
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas, your dreams
before the crowd is to risk their loss,
To love is to risk not being loved in return,
To live is to risk dying,
To hope is to risk despair,
To try is to risk failure,
But risk must be taken,
Because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing does nothing,
has nothing and is nothing.
They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they
simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live.
Chained by their certitudes, they are slaves,
they have forfeited freedom.
Only a person who risks is free.

[Boethius]

What, exactly, did you risk?  You left a broken, corrupt country where the average person suffers abuse and humiliation.

[ML]

Marta, the quickest way for you to end any suffering and anguish is to return to your family and friends in Ukraine.

If you do not have the money to do so, I believe the folks on this forum will help you.

I would be willing to put some money into a fund to pay for your ticket and I think others would  also.

We could all send money to a trusted person here who would, in turn, buy your plane ticket.

$50 from 20-25 people would do it, or $100 from 10-12 people.

Do you wish to have this help ??

[Boethius]

Although she is alone, and that's never easy, Marta has more chance of a life, and finding a husband, in the U.S. It won't be easy, but the upside does exist.

In her shoes, I would really weigh my options, and not do anything until the divorce is finalized.

[ML]

. . . Marta has more chance of a life, and finding a husband, in the U.S. . . .

Husbands (and men in general) are a pain in the a$$ !!

Who needs them ??

[treadmilldude]

What, exactly, did you risk?  You left a broken, corrupt country where the average person suffers abuse and humiliation.

Boethius, I am unsure what you are referring to with this statement. Would you mind expounding upon exactly what you mean when you say the average Ukrainian citizen suffers abuse and humiliation? Thank you Boethius. As always, your experience and knowledge is always appreciated by me. I enjoy learning from your posts, Boethius.

[fathertime]

You have been asked on the forum, repeatedly, for evidence that your husband was cheating on you.  As I read your responses, you have not proved that he has cheated on you.  Yet you continue to accuse him.

How would she provide evidence?  Semen sent to your home address?  Lonedrake said things, and now she says things...can't say for sure to tell where the actual truth is.  It is all just a story for us to read...we are not going to get to the bottom of it like a crime scene investigator here. 
 I guess it is just assumed that this is for sure LoneDrake's wife. 


Fathertime! 

[jone]

Well,

It is possible you aren't really you, FT, but an imposter going around busting peoples chops.  Perhaps you would like to read LD's original posts where he put up all of her pictures which match her avatar.

As for her accusations against her husband?  Well, before I'd put stuff up that my wife was cheating, I'd surely like to catch her in the act, or, for that matter, get some type of confession.  My point is that you don't go on the internet and claim your spouse is cheating when he says he's not, without some substantiation.  It is possible that he is cheating.   But my take is that unless you are pretty damn sure, you don't go accusing him in a public forum.  Or perhaps you think she should?

[fathertime]

Well,

It is possible you aren't really you, FT, but an imposter going around busting peoples chops.  Perhaps you would like to read LD's original posts where he put up all of her pictures which match her avatar.

As for her accusations against her husband?  Well, before I'd put stuff up that my wife was cheating, I'd surely like to catch her in the act, or, for that matter, get some type of confession.  My point is that you don't go on the internet and claim your spouse is cheating when he says he's not, without some substantiation.  It is possible that he is cheating.   But my take is that unless you are pretty damn sure, you don't go accusing him in a public forum.  Or perhaps you think she should?

No, I think it wasn't a great idea to post any 'he said, she said' accusations on either side...If you demand proof from one side, and not from the other side, it is a bit lopsided.  I'm merely calling out, that you are calling out one side and not the other...I tend to believe more of what is said by the guy who has been steadily posting here, but asking for evidence isn't' going to happen.    No way to say for sure what happened within the minutia of their marriage, but I wouldn't like to see either discredited for 'lack of evidence'.   Of course it would be even better if they kept these sorta deeply personal issues to themselves. 


Fathertime!   

[jone]

No, I think it wasn't a great idea to post any 'he said, she said' accusations on either side...If you demand proof from one side, and not from the other side, it is a bit lopsided.  I'm merely calling out, that you are calling out one side and not the other...I tend to believe more of what is said by the guy who has been steadily posting here, but asking for evidence isn't' going to happen.    No way to say for sure what happened within the minutia of their marriage, but I wouldn't like to see either discredited for 'lack of evidence'.   Of course it would be even better if they kept these sorta deeply personal issues to themselves. 


Fathertime!

And my take is that she has said things on here that already have proved to be quite unreliable.  The first thing that happens when an indigent spouse is relocated, the attorneys make sure she has enough money to survive.  Yet, here she is claiming that he doesn't give her any money....which is not the way the system works. 

My take is that she is putting stuff on the internet to try to gain sympathy for her position, which I can readily understand, but then she goes overboard with things that are either made up or exaggerated. 

LD came here with the purpose of trying to understand what he should expect in the divorce process.  She probably needs to deal in the same reality that this is their current course of action.  You don't see him posting here, anymore, do you?  If he were posting, he should be held to the same scrutiny.

[fathertime]

And my take is that she has said things on here that already have proved to be quite unreliable.  The first thing that happens when an indigent spouse is relocated, the attorneys make sure she has enough money to survive.  Yet, here she is claiming that he doesn't give her any money....which is not the way the system works. 

My take is that she is putting stuff on the internet to try to gain sympathy for her position, which I can readily understand, but then she goes overboard with things that are either made up or exaggerated. 

LD came here with the purpose of trying to understand what he should expect in the divorce process.  She probably needs to deal in the same reality that this is their current course of action.  You don't see him posting here, anymore, do you?  If he were posting, he should be held to the same scrutiny.

Now that this has happened and both sides have made statements I don't want to see one side treated unfairly here...when LD was posting, i didn't see any unrealistic demands for evidence from you. 


Fathertime!