folks who use social networks like dating sites

[msmobyone]

SC asked me if some guy who was wanting to be her 'friend' was someone I knew a few weeks back..I responded I didn't and she asked him why he wanted to be 'friends'... as her profile was pretty clear she was in a relationship, it's marked 'engaged'

response.. ''Why don't you make this clearer in your profile ...?'' As if relationship status 'engaged' isn't a clue...

I asked her if I could respond - which I did- pointing out who I was and suggested it is clearly marked. I was polite and wished the guy luck.

So, then responded he just wanted to be 'friends' and of course I asked him, ''why he wants to be 'friends' with a lady he doesn't know and hasn't met?''


''That's what Facebook is all about you moron... making friends!!! Maybe you should not let your wife dress so provocative in her pictures you idiot????''

The bold is mine...


Well, we can guess what sort of control freak he'd be as a husband.... SC blocked him

Am I strange or did the definition of friends change?

Now, I realise where I'm going wrong, I will tell SC to stop dressing so 'provocatively' and you will soon be my 'friend' on facebook  - and your better half and all her friends..

[alex330]

Men will leverage anything they can to gain access to a good looking woman. My wife has guys try to contact her through all forms of social media. Facebook, Linkedin, Instagram, Vk, you name it. Does not matter that she is married. They don't care.

I added a few Pakistani and Indian SEO guys to my Facebook a bit back to network. BIG MISTAKE. Hundreds of their friends then tried to befriend my wife. I had to drop them and rethink it a bit.

[jone]

Privatize your friends list.  Then they wouldn't have access to your beautiful wife.   But, I can certainly understand their interest.  They see your picture.  Then they see your wife's picture ......

[alex330]

Privatize your friends list.  Then they wouldn't have access to your beautiful wife.   But, I can certainly understand their interest.  They see your picture.  Then they see your wife's picture ......

It was funny the first time Jon, but it is getting a bit fucking old man.

[msmobyone]

Privatize your friends list.  Then they wouldn't have access to your beautiful wife.   But, I can certainly understand their interest.  They see your picture.  Then they see your wife's picture ......

Thanks, Jone

http://www.facebook.com/about/basics/what-others-see-about-you/friend-list/

Not sure that's how strange guys were finding her profile - it's not searchable in internet searches 

[LAman]

Thanks, Jone

http://www.facebook.com/about/basics/what-others-see-about-you/friend-list/

Not sure that's how strange guys were finding her profile - it's not searchable in internet searches

Most often from friends of friends of friends. Emails are sent asking if you know this person.

[dragonkid]

Most often from friends of friends of friends. Emails are sent asking if you know this person.

This, plus when i was younger and had more flattering pictures, with just my face. i got a few adds from random guys and girls on fb. It is all normal, nothing special, the girls i dated had it, this thread is a subtle internet brag (not first time you brought up that your partner gets added by random men)

Maybe they think she looks approachable and easy to hook up with. most popular women on dating sites are usually middle-aged women who are average looking, who guys find much easier to hook up with hence why they get contacted by many men . I know a 28 year old woman who is the most average looking woman, she showed me the messages guys sent, she talked to them like crap, and still got pestered. Her owns words "they look terrible, but their money makes them look like brad pitt".

[fathertime]

I never have cared about who added who to a 'friends list'...   In your case, you would have to assume your woman knows what she is doing .  If it were me, I wouldn't get involved in discussions with people trying to friend her.  I'd let her handle who she wants to 'friend' with.


Fathertime!

[msmobyone]

I never have cared about who added who to a 'friends list'...   In your case, you would have to assume your woman knows what she is doing .  If it were me, I wouldn't get involved in discussions with people trying to friend her.  I'd let her handle who she wants to 'friend' with.


Fathertime!

FT

I am not you and the lady asked for help / advice.

She wants to enjoy fb - to communicate with friends - some of whom live overseas and might not choose to be members of Russian lang social media


I am certain 'friends of friends' is not how the traffic was arriving - as the 'gentlemen' are not friends of friends.

I think they are deliberately searching for [ in this case ] Russian women.

i would suggest that using social media sites to 'score' doesn't seem to be a very clever method - unless both parties get kicks out of having a high number of 'friends' ...

Thanks to all - even FT -[  ]  for offering advice.

[fathertime]

FT

I am not you and the lady asked for help / advice.

She wants to enjoy fb - to communicate with friends - some of whom live overseas and might not choose to be members of Russian lang social media


I am certain 'friends of friends' is not how the traffic was arriving - as the 'gentlemen' are not friends of friends.

I think they are deliberately searching for [ in this case ] Russian women.

i would suggest that using social media sites to 'score' doesn't seem to be a very clever method - unless both parties get kicks out of having a high number of 'friends' ...

Thanks to all - even FT -[  ]  for offering advice.

Well a different way to look at the situation is as follows.  Presumably your lady is an attractive woman, and always has been, therefore she has plenty of experience dealing with pervs and other looky-loos.  She probably knows how to handle herself just fine, but wanted to bring you into the situation in order to further demonstrate her desirability to you.  If that is the case, then you did pretty much what you were supposed to do.


As far as social media goes, when it comes to love/finding a woman...all is fair game, and for certain some men are going to utilize Facebook to fill their stable if they can![size=78%]  [/size]


Fathertime!   

[Morty]

A girl I know of dealt with this by having all her gay friends and their friends bombard the guy with offers of bum love. when some dirty perv got her number and kept calling her, she got a friend to print his number on a card offering male services and pinned them in the toilets of a local gay club. He stopped calling after that.

[msmobyone]

Well a different way to look at the situation is as follows. 

As normal, FT seeks the path of 'playing devils advocate' to the point trollism..

No, the lady doesn't speak English anything like a native and didn't want to offend  - we are way past seeking affirmation - trying to impress each other...

As far as social media goes, when it comes to love/finding a woman...all is fair game, and for certain some men are going to utilize Facebook to fill their stable if they can!

I'm still trying to give you the benefit of the doubt as to whether you identify and perhaps agree with the type of men you describe 

In the meantime - a day has passed without someone she doesn't know asking to be 'friends'.

[fathertime]

As normal, FT seeks the path of 'playing devils advocate' to the point trollism..

No, the lady doesn't speak English anything like a native and didn't want to offend  - we are way past seeking affirmation - trying to impress each other...

YOU brought the subject up, and now are crying about a response....typical..or maybe it hit home....  Regardless, I'd let the lady take care of her facebook issues, and certainly wouldn't go so far as getting into the gamesmanship of a back and forth with people over it to 'prove your strength'.  [size=78%] [/size]

I'm still trying to give you the benefit of the doubt as to whether you identify and perhaps agree with the type of men you describe 

Don't bother giving 'the benefit of the doubt' to me..Yes I do agree that a man can use social media for making contact with women he has an interest in.  Only a naive fool would think otherwise.   


Fathertime! 

[msmobyone]

YOU brought the subject up and now are crying about a response....typical..or maybe it hit home....

Here's a simple recap - I questioned the definition of friends - to some guys - you suggested what was 'wrong' in my relationship

[fathertime]

Here's a simple recap - I questioned the definition of friends - to some guys - you suggested what was 'wrong' in my relationship

It is funny how you jump to conclusions like that..the comments I made before your outburst didn't suggest anything was 'wrong' with your relationship....you take a defensive position very quickly for no particular reason (boxing with windmills)...kinda like what you did with this 'facebook friend' thing too.   


I just wouldn't ask my wife/fiance/girlfriend if it was ok for me to jump in, and start communicating with a random guy that tried to friend' her on Facebook.  If she asked, I'd tell her to ignore, or reject/block and move on in 3 nanoseconds....

[/size]
I asked her if I could respond[size=78%] - which I did- pointing out who I was and suggested it is clearly marked. I was polite and wished the guy luck.

[Boethius]

He has a point.  His question was, has his definition of "friend" changed.


I have never had Facebook.  I never saw a need, as people I wish to connect with, I connect with IRL.


To answer the question, no, the definition of friend has not changed.  People must lead pretty pathetic lives if they believe some random stranger they "friend" on FB is an actual friend.

[msmobyone]

It is funny how you jump to conclusions like that.

Not really - you are still offering 'relationship advice' that is neither relevant - nor remotely accurate...

the comments I made before your outburst [ moby - ha, now my pointing out a further FT troll attempt is an 'outburst'  ] didn't suggest anything was 'wrong' with your relationship....you take a defensive position very quickly for no particular reason (boxing with windmills)...

Further deflecting. YES you DID and according to you my response perhaps 'proved your point'..... 

I just wouldn't ask my wife/fiance/girlfriend if it was ok for me to jump in, and start communicating with a random guy that tried to friend' her on Facebook.  If she asked, I'd tell her to ignore, or reject/block and move on in 3 nanoseconds....

May be your wife/fiance/girlfriend wouldn't ask for advice... who can tell ? I never block someone, off the bat, I ask them why - giving them  a chance to explain- having once bocked someone trying to get a message to me. I suggested the same to SC and that's why this thread started - as you seem need reminding..

[fathertime]

Not really - you are still offering 'relationship advice' that is neither relevant - nor remotely accurate...

You put the whiny topic out there...demonstrating your 'manhood'....asking to verbally confront random men that 'friend' your significant other....

Further deflecting. YES you DID and according to you my response perhaps 'proved your point'..... 

.so according to your response, I questioned your 'relationship'.....That is stupid, coming from you it is normal though..

May be your wife/fiance/girlfriend wouldn't ask for advice... who can tell ? I never block someone, off the bat, I ask them why - giving them  a chance to explain- having once bocked someone trying to get a message to me. I suggested the same to SC and that's why this thread started - as you seem need reminding..

You mean you give the random man the 'benefit of the doubt'   
Who cares? 


Fathertime!   

[msmobyone]

FT


If you aren't interested....why ARE you responding?.

Is your life that boring?...

[fathertime]

FT


If you aren't interested....why ARE you responding?.

Is your life that boring?...

Reading compression issues for you as usual....Who said I wasn't interested?  Your facebook 'friending follies' are entertaining at this point.   Why aren't you out sunbathing already?


Fathertime!   

[LiveFromUkraine]

You put the whiny topic out there...demonstrating your 'manhood'....asking to verbally confront random men that 'friend' your significant other....



Fathertime!

It sounded more like control issues to me.  I'd just let my girlfriend handle her friend requests.  It isn't like she isn't hit on when out and about anyway. 

[2tallbill]

A girl I know of dealt with this by having all her gay friends and their friends bombard the guy with offers of bum love. when some dirty perv got her number and kept calling her, she got a friend to print his number on a card offering male services and pinned them in the toilets of a local gay club. He stopped calling after that.

That's great the guy stopped being a stalker and discovered he liked gay love instead.

[fathertime]

It sounded more like control issues to me.  I'd just let my girlfriend handle her friend requests.  It isn't like she isn't hit on when out and about anyway.

I thought the same thing...I was going to allow him to continue to hang himself with stupidity before bringing it to his attention!   He was grumbling about the random guy he tried to confront for attempting to 'friend' his girlfriend, when really it was MSMOBY that was trying to over-control a situation he didn't need to get involved with!  It isn't hard to notice that he often demonstrates the exact control issues he was moaning about. 


Fathertime!   

[msmobyone]

It sounded more like control issues to me.  I'd just let my girlfriend handle her friend requests.  It isn't like she isn't hit on when out and about anyway.

 

'control issues' ?


The clue - as already pointed out to FT - who laughably suggests I have 'reading comprehension issues' - was, ''SC asked...'

[fathertime]

The clue - as already pointed out to FT - who laughably suggests I have 'reading comprehension issues' - was, ''SC asked...'

Easily disproved by your own post.  It is foolish when you can't remember what you just posted.

I asked her if I could respond -

Fathertime!