Financial responibility of a future spouses welfare and social services question

[52topps]

Why does getting married to a foreign women mean it doesn't make sense?

[Slumba]

Most jurisdictions have legislation in place on division of matrimonial assets.  So, it is not the courts, but elected lawmakers who have determined how assets will be divided.

Fair enough, yes the lawmakers are the ones that set up the courts and the laws.

[Boethius]

Why does getting married to a foreign women mean it doesn't make sense?

It's not about making sense.  It is about fairness.  You are going to import a woman from a third world (economically) country, who has to start over with nothing and if things don't work out, or you tire of her, you intend to cut her loose with nothing.  It's about decency.  Not what you are legally entitled to do.

[52topps]

I don't like using the word importing. It makes it sound like I am buying a sofa from another country.

[Boethius]

Which does not negate the gist of my post.

[LiveFromUkraine]

I don't like using the word importing. It makes it sound like I am buying a sofa from another country.

Seems appropriate to me. Judging by your posts, you're looking for ways to be able to refund your purchase with as little money as you can get away with. 


You would be better off living in her country and try to make a fresh start there.  At least you will have some understanding at how difficult it would be to come to a new culture and make a new life.  You would also be able to protect your assets.


Good luck!

[dragonkid]

I don't like using the word importing. It makes it sound like I am buying a sofa from another country.

Get used to it, because that is essentially what you are doing. If it makes you feel better, you can use the term sugar babe? Whatever suits you. You are exchanging financial power for a woman. Try not delude yourself too much.

My issue wasn't with the prenup, i will be getting one if i decide to get married, my issue is you are stingy. You could just go and live abroad, no risk of the prenup backfiring. no prenup is bullet proof, you need to understand this, most prenups are worthless after 10 years, you sound like you don't understand what a prenup essentially is. You probably misunderstood your lawyer, stop deluding yourself.

[tfcrew]

No court will enforce that.

I never heard of a court that would.
If there is a divorce the lady will most likely continue to reside in America.
Or I would say that they usually do.
 
When I brought my wife to the USA, she had 90 days [on her visa] to marry me or she would have had to return to Ukraine.

You get round trip tickets for that eventuality. They don't cost all that much more than a one way.

[pitbull]

It's not about making sense.  It is about fairness.  You are going to import a woman from a third world (economically) country, who has to start over with nothing and if things don't work out, or you tire of her, you intend to cut her loose with nothing.  It's about decency.  Not what you are legally entitled to do.

+100. What she said!

[BillyB]

It's actually the court system that does the dirty work for women.

After my divorce I told my wife's attorney that judge favors women. She responded saying all judges favor women and she recommends her male clients to settle before court.

About 10 years ago I heard for the first time in America, more people are living single than together with a partner. As laws change to favor one gender over the other, more men have taken the attitude why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.

I don't mind sharing money with the woman in my life. I just don't want her to use me as an ATM card and then leave me.

Being protective doesn't make me a bad person. I am loving, caring and raising two kids.

You may be a person who treats the wife very well. It's also smart of you to make sure you keep some saved for the kids. Some people here will accuse you of being greedy and if you are greedy, you will strain a marriage and it will definitely end.

[52topps]

If it makes you feel better, you can use the term sugar babe? Whatever suits you. You are exchanging financial power for a woman. Try not delude yourself too much.   Then all of us who travel over seas are doing this, not just me. Because lets face it, most men who go overseas have more money than most and are after women in countries in which these women have less resources. American women do this every single day.

I just need to protect core assets. I will share my income with her and will pay for her and she is more than welcome to do her thing... like maybe get a part time job and have an easy life. How would I get a refund on a woman? I will be a good husband and take good care of her.

What % of foreign women that get married to American men , what % are abused and end up without anything. I bet the number is small.  Now if she is having sex with my pool boy or the neighbor the prenup is in place to protect me.

Why don't you guys try and help me add and remove a few things from the prenup that would help or make a prenup look better. I'm not going to compromise on the prenup but I don't mind making changes.

I totally understand how the woman is starting from scratch and she is giving up everything to come over here with me.  Also I'm not going to find a woman with kids. I'm out of the kid raising business for sure. I could never take a child away from a father, that's crazy.

I am looking for a woman 30-45 without kids. No 19 years olds with a 3 year old.

[alex330]

What % of foreign women that get married to American men , what % are abused and end up without anything. I bet the number is small.

Much higher than you might imagine. We personally know of quite a few.

[52topps]

Well I'm not going to abuse any woman, American or foreign. I want a happy loving wife who thinks highly of me.

[alex330]

Yes, not saying you were. Just letting you know it happens quite often.

In regards to a fair prenup for the woman I would discuss it with her and see what she feels is fair. Some will understand why you want one and some will find you "greedy" and lose interest.

Many women including the American women I have dated will eventually want to buy a new house together so they can nest or "be cozy" as the RW say. So the house issue can be tricky. And if you are married for x years and she helps maintain or contribute to the household, then she is probably entitled to a portion anyways...

A lot of it will depend on the woman you find. How good is her English? What degree does he hold?

A RW in her early thirties may want children even if you do not. Something to think about.

[dragonkid]

much.[/b]   Then all of us who travel over seas are doing this, not just me.

Yes, me included, just some guys actually believe these women (especially ones in their early 20's), are interested in a guy romantically far older than themselves. They are interested in your wallet, no matter how you sugar coat it. People think they discovered russia, the land where women are genuine, probably where the women are least genuine.

American women do this every single day.

You mean trophy wives, not all AW would want to be a trophy wife, and not all trophy women are hot. Difference that people on search tend to not admit, the women are a lot less physically demanding from a guy, as they want stability. I know and dated women that had stability (Talking about a family net of over $100k), would i exclude myself from what i written above? Fuck no, i am not as deluded as some.

I just need to protect core assets.

Smart thing to do

I will share my income with her and will pay for her and she is more than welcome to do her thing... like maybe get a part time job and have an easy life. How would I get a refund on a woman? I will be a good husband and take good care of her

Courts will do this anyways, prenups tend to be very fair nowadays, where each year her entitlement share increase, like 5% every 3 years or so. Just remember, after 10 years the paper is worth nothing. Can you deal with that? If not, do not get married, go live abroad, and live out your life like a bachelor, sounds like that will be emotionally good for you.

Do i want to get married? More i think about it, the more i agree with billy, it is just financial suicide. Can i predict things after 10 years? No, do marriages end after 10 years? Yes, so what use will be a prenup? I don't know if i will ever get married till prenups are more solid. 

Read up about prenups, i suggest to speak to a prenuptial specialist, who deals with foreign marriages, there are a few in the UK, so the US probably will have many.

I want a happy loving wife who thinks highly of me.

I want a happy loving wife who will make me feel highly of myself.

fixed, you will find yourself a puppet, who has been trained to make a man feel special, doesn't mean she genuine believes in what she says. If you want a genuine wife, marry at home, that is the only place you will find a genuine woman who is interested in you, and not what you can offer.

[52topps]

Does anyone posting here have anything positive to say or contribute besides im wasting my time.

Does anyone on this site actually realize American women are the worst women in the world.

Has anyone posting here actually be divorced?

Gee wizz.

[52topps]

This is a link to Alex Rodriguez prenup fight. read it all!

http://abcnews.go.com/Business/story?id=5333445&page=1

The person getting the prenup makes a few mistakes.
#1
"The first thing I'll ask a client looking to sign a prenup is whether a wedding date has been set," said Mark Seff, a family law attorney in Hollywood, Fla. "If they're looking to sign an agreement at the last minute, a few days beforehand, I turn them away."

You must have it signed before you ask her to get married!

#2 Another question of time has to do with how long the couple was established before they decided to get married."If the couple had been living together, was already involved sexually and had perhaps made babies together, their relationship is unique," Hennenhoefer said. "If the prenup does not reflect that, it can be tossed out. If the couple was established, they have a confidential relationship, which is different from the sort of fiduciary relationship two people looking to enter a business contract might have."

I would most likely not get married to her until she arrives in the USA which I am under the impression that could take 9 months then I have 90 days, correct?

#3  Another way out of a contract is to prove you were "lacking capacity," Felder said."If someone said, 'Sign, or I'm going to hit you over the head,' that's duress," he said. "If you were taking drugs when you signed, that's lacking capacity."

In my prenup it asks as a question , Are you on drugs? Are you drug at this time? Are you being forced or pressure to sign?
DId you have 30 days or more to think about this before signing it? Was it translated into your language for easy understanding. Were you given legal representation in your home country. All of these are in my rough draft prenup.

"Typically, a wife who is marrying a wealthier husband goes along and signs off on it," he said. "A lawyer reviewing the contract during a divorce is going to check if that party had the benefit of counsel."

Yes she will in her language.

This prenup will not be written on a napkin like fool Speilburg!


Guys I understand that nobody thinks a prenup will work but I am trying the best I can to secure some sort of safety net. Is it 100% guaranteed? NO but it's a start.

I am also going to have it video taped and she will sign it overseas and again in the USA.

[Boethius]

Does anyone on this site actually realize American women are the worst women in the world.

Has anyone posting here actually be divorced?

Gee wizz.

Lots of men here have been divorced.  Multiple times, in some cases. 

If in a country of over 100 million women, you believe they are all "the worst women in the world", then your problems are looking you in the mirror daily.  They are not with the women.

Any time I have read a man make that sort of pronouncement, and then go on to sing the virtues of looking abroad for "better" women, his relationship has failed.  The longest was about a decade, but the foreign bride left the guy eventually anyway.  What you should be looking at, instead of focusing on protecting your assets, is what, in you, either attracts bad women, is attracted to bad women, or brings out the worst in women. 

As for the blah, blah on enforceability of prenups, I don't think anyone is disputing this.  It was you who posted you would give a foreign bride "enough money to return home".  Class act.  All they way.

[52topps]

I attract plenty of women, many are good women but not attractive in any way. Some are good looking but I get tired of being used for my handy man skills, or my money. I am not going to let this go on anymore. Yes America has some good women SOME but most aren't  The court system allows women to behave the way they do! I do not want to get married to an overweight hog, nor do I expect to get married to a perfect 10. I would actually not know what to do with a perfect 10, I would be too nervous. Actually the woman I loved the most was at most a 7.

[Boethius]

Yes America has some good women SOME but most aren't 

I rest my case. 

Your attitude is part of the formula for failed relationships.  You don't need to defend yourself to me.  You don't know me, and I don't care.  I'm just telling you what I observe, and the tea leaves suggest you will not have a successful relationship, long term.

[Faux Pas]

Does anyone posting here have anything positive to say or contribute besides im wasting my time.

Does anyone on this site actually realize American women are the worst women in the world.

Has anyone posting here actually be divorced?

Gee wizz.

Guy, you haven't had anything good to say. About the only thing I have surmised from your posts is you are a greedy, bitter 43 year old dude that dates ugly women and looking to save a small fortune on prostitutes if he can get a woman to agree to a prenup. Seriously, when something is wrong with "all American women" maybe the problem isn't them?

You are quite anal retentive over a prenup. Most guys that show up here asking those questions seldom have anything worth protecting. Usually their tax attorney would be answering those questions. However, just in case you do I would suggest, you taking your time, doing your due diligence in finding your soulmate and you won't need a prenup. Do your part. In the event the marriage doesn't work out and you do split the sheets, if you are the great guy you are telling us you are, you will be fair with her and allow the court system to do what it does. My advice is forget the prenup and marry the woman you want to be married to for the rest of your life. If it doesn't work out that way you dust off your pants and try again. 

[52topps]

I will stop posting, Thanks!

[BillyB]

You must have it signed before you ask her to get married!

I would most likely not get married to her until she arrives in the USA which I am under the impression that could take 9 months then I have 90 days, correct?

To get an FSU woman to the states, you will have to bring her here as your fiancée or wife. That means you need to propose to her in the FSU. According to the attorney in the article, you will have to do a prenup in the FSU before you propose for it to hold water. You'll have to fly your and her attorney with interpreter to the FSU to make it happen. Having an FSU attorney write a prenup without understanding American laws may void the prenup.

[Faux Pas]

I will stop posting, Thanks!

That is unfortunate for you but, you will do what you must. This isn't the place to pose questions unless you want honest answers. Many times brutally honest answers but answers you need to hear nonetheless. If you are looking for the "Dummies guide to Eastern Women and guarding your 401K" you are likely in the wrong place but, if you are serious about Eastern women you should 1) thicken up your skin and 2) stick around a bit

[52topps]

All I am getting is attacked . I have been through the divorce and stood in front of the judge and had 50% of my children's life taken away from me.  All because of a woman I love was caught fooling around with her boss.  So forgive me if I seem to push the prenup/Trust issues which I do know the rules .I know them well. I also know the damage a woman can do to a man and to his finances for the rest of his life. Just because I protect myself does not make me ugly, fat, and greedy.  I have seen 50% of my wealth which took 20 years to grow vanish for something I did not do. That will never happen again.

Marriage is a contract between two people and the government. It is not just about love. It's about money!

No woman is going to come into my life in the 4th inning and leave in the 7th and take all my lifes work and income away from me.

A prenup creates a fair and even playing field. I know what I am talking about and I know what I am talking about with a trust. Will every single prenup hold up in every single court in the USA most likely not. But prenups if done correctly will hold up and they do.. Correctly is the key because most men get them after they ask the woman to get married and those don't hold up in court! The prenup must be done before you ask her!!!! Must.

Prenups can last a lifetime if that is how the prenup is drawn up.

A will is for when I die and I want my stuff to be divided up how I want it divided. I can leave anything I want to anyone I want in a will.

I came here for help not insults about how greedy I am and lonely. Gee wiz. Aren't we all supposed to be on the same team. you guys typing doesn't not make what you say true, nor what I type.

The answer to my original question is:    Do I need to pay social services for a full 10 years if I marry a foreign woman. The answer is NO. Once she has her green card she is responsible for herself.

Why couldn't I get some real info here.

Why don't you guys help me out instead of smashing me down.  If any one of you have been divorced more than once you should be totally supporting me.


I came here for answers to questions