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Author Topic: Are there Russian Women who only want the vacation and not the guy?  (Read 5458 times)

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Offline Nikolos

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I was writing to Russian Woman for 7 months and got back from Moscow and Saint Peter last month, She was everything I was looking for in a Woman, very caring, attentive, thrifty, she watched my money more than I did, she had a great personality, educated, a good job, and we got a long really well, she held my arm (not my hand) everywhere we went, it was a 10 day trip, but after the second day I knew something was wrong, she was pulling back and asked her about it, she said she would tell me later that night, Night time came and were both drinking wine in the apartment, she reminds me what she told me when we first began writing, that the age difference bothered her, she is 33 and i'm 55.. And she tells me I remind her of her Dad, I accepted it wasn't going anywhere from that point forward, I was disappointed but not angry and I made the best of the 7 days we had remaining, it was a great 10 days with her!, and we made love many times, she seemed to want it more than I did.. I'm not a bad looking guy, and I'm in great physical shape, 5-7' 139lbs, and I take care of myself, so I know it wasn't my appearance that turned her off, but it was mostly like a Chemistry thing, I was into her but she wasn't into me.. It happens. 

But looking back, she was well aware of my age for 7 months, and she always wanted our relationship to be on a "Friend" basis from the very beginning, she said that if it doesn't work out that she didn't want to hurt my feelings, she was pessimistic from the get go.. She wanted to visit several places, top of the list was the Ballet at the Bolshoi, followed by Saint Peters Palace in Saint Petersburg, The Hermitage Museum, she had a entire itinerary planned out and I always believed she was doing it for both of us, never thought otherwise until I returned home and began re-thinking everything that had happened... But I didn't dwell on it long, I went right back to the Russian dating site and I'm currently writing to 3 different Women, one of them always talks about how much she likes to travel but cant afford it, but yet she has photos of herself in 4 different countries scattered over Europe,  and when I told her I want to visit her in October, she tells me there is not much to see in Krasnodar where she lives, and she asks me if I would want to visit Italy, I told that I would but not on the first meeting, that I prefer to get to know her in her hometown,  eliminating any ulterior motive, After I sent that, I have not heard back from her and we've been writing almost everyday for the last month..

I must happen, many Women are masters of manipulation, playing the guy for everything they can get with no intention of having a sincere and meaningful relationship, Whether this happened with the Woman I met, I cant say for sure, it's speculation on my part, but this new one certainly brought new life into the subject, and I'd like to know if anyone else had a similar experience.. Thank you.

Nicholas

Offline dragonkid

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Re: Are there Russian Women who only want the vacation and not the guy?
« Reply #1 on: July 12, 2016, 03:51:38 AM »
If your appearance wasn't the issue and she actually liked being around you, then nothing would be the issue.... I don't blame you, she opened up her legs and you thought everything was fine, just ignore the scammers asking you for trips abroad. Brush them off , and keep on going. It is funny that guys here say 18-25 year olds are not serious, yet i hardly come across these sort of women OP describes. I think majority of women are looking for something from a man, till they meet a man they actually like.
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Offline Anotherkiwi

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Re: Are there Russian Women who only want the vacation and not the guy?
« Reply #2 on: July 12, 2016, 07:44:52 AM »
...I went right back to the Russian dating site and I'm currently writing to 3 different Women, one of them always talks about how much she likes to travel but cant afford it, but yet she has photos of herself in 4 different countries scattered over Europe,  and when I told her I want to visit her in October, she tells me there is not much to see in Krasnodar where she lives, and she asks me if I would want to visit Italy, I told that I would but not on the first meeting, that I prefer to get to know her in her hometown,  eliminating any ulterior motive, After I sent that, I have not heard back from her and we've been writing almost everyday for the last month..

Hi, Nicholas, and  :welcome: to RWD.

Unfortunately you will find plenty of this type of woman scattered around,, but there are also many others who are extremely sincere.  You just have to be careful who you choose.

As far as there not being much to see in her home city, that is a common reaction from so many women when you say you want to visit their town.  Most of them don't even think that, for someone coming from the other side of the world, anything in their life is going to be interesting and, quite often, somewhat exotic.  In her case, she's wrong!  I've been to Krasnodar, and it is actually a very nice city with some quite beautiful areas.  I've posted several photos in the Gallery here - have a look for yourself.

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?action=gallery;cat=6

The first ten photos on that page are all mine, and they are all from Krasnodar.  The hotel I stayed in provided the best (and best value) breakfast of any hotel I've stayed in anywhere in Russia.

Anyway, good luck with your search.

Offline Boethius

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Re: Are there Russian Women who only want the vacation and not the guy?
« Reply #3 on: July 12, 2016, 08:19:48 AM »
I doubt she was scamming you for a vacation. The bottom line is, she thought you were too old for her, and didn't see a long term future.
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Online BillyB

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Re: Are there Russian Women who only want the vacation and not the guy?
« Reply #4 on: July 12, 2016, 10:35:23 AM »
she tells me I remind her of her Dad,

 and we made love many times, she seemed to want it more than I did..


Interesting.

I must happen, many Women are masters of manipulation, playing the guy for everything they can get with no intention of having a sincere and meaningful relationship,


Based on what you wrote, I don't think she's scamming you. You can't expect a guarantee that every woman you meet will want a sincere and meaningful relationship with you. You failed to read her and the way I'm reading things is she wants a friends with benefits relationship with you. You take her on trips and she gives you mind blowing sex. You have to decide if you want spend your time and money on this casual relationship or move on to find something more meaningful.

There are people that will pass info about you and your family. Do not share info about yourself or share photos as they can search for you on the internet and distribute what they found since they are allowed to participate here.

Offline Slumba

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Re: Are there Russian Women who only want the vacation and not the guy?
« Reply #5 on: July 12, 2016, 04:56:51 PM »
I was writing to Russian Woman for 7 months and got back from Moscow and Saint Peter last month, She was everything I was looking for in a Woman, very caring, attentive, thrifty, she watched my money more than I did, she had a great personality, educated, a good job, and we got a long really well, she held my arm (not my hand) everywhere we went, it was a 10 day trip, but after the second day I knew something was wrong, she was pulling back and asked her about it, she said she would tell me later that night, Night time came and were both drinking wine in the apartment, she reminds me what she told me when we first began writing, that the age difference bothered her, she is 33 and i'm 55.. And she tells me I remind her of her Dad, I accepted it wasn't going anywhere from that point forward, I was disappointed but not angry and I made the best of the 7 days we had remaining, it was a great 10 days with her!, and we made love many times, she seemed to want it more than I did..

This is just my opinion, run it through your own brain to determine if it makes sense to you...

Women care a lot more about how they are perceived by others, than men do.

If she said "you remind me of Dad" but kept sleeping with you, perhaps she was worried about how others would see her if she ended up with you.  It's in the nature of some girls to sound pessimistic, I think sometimes they do it to test a guy to see if he really has a cheerful disposition or not.

Rather than take what she said at face value, if you had given her some comfort that she wouldn't be seen as a (bad girl, gold digger, girl who settled , whatever was concerning her), she might have let the matter drop, and continued with you.
Me gusta ir de compras con mi tarjeta verde...

Offline dragonkid

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Re: Are there Russian Women who only want the vacation and not the guy?
« Reply #6 on: July 12, 2016, 05:00:50 PM »
Slumba is actually right... Once my ex said something to me, i took it with face value, she wanted to see my reaction, ti ruined our relationship. I am not one for games, but some of these women love to see your reaction.
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Online Gator

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Re: Are there Russian Women who only want the vacation and not the guy?
« Reply #7 on: July 12, 2016, 05:13:24 PM »
Nikolos,

Yes indeed there are "vacation whores." 

Your first woman does not sound like one.  The second woman by mentioning Italy sounds like one.  Be careful.   Italy is a special place for a meeting after you get to know a woman and wish to become serious.  As a first date, she probably will have you going in and out of shops all day. 

One option is to see multiple women on a single trip.  WMVM.  Meet them for a couple of days in their hometown.  Then leave.  Some men meet several women in the same city.  It is a balancing act. 

Offline Nikolos

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Re: Are there Russian Women who only want the vacation and not the guy?
« Reply #8 on: July 14, 2016, 04:54:13 AM »
Interesting.

Based on what you wrote, I don't think she's scamming you. You can't expect a guarantee that every woman you meet will want a sincere and meaningful relationship with you. You failed to read her and the way I'm reading things is she wants a friends with benefits relationship with you. You take her on trips and she gives you mind blowing sex. You have to decide if you want spend your time and money on this casual relationship or move on to find something more meaningful.

Yes, I did fail to read her before making the trip, but once there I knew that something wasn't right.. And I've always wanted a meaningful relationship, if I wanted just sex I would have never divorced my wife. :)


I doubt she was scamming you for a vacation. The bottom line is, she thought you were too old for her, and didn't see a long term future.

As Gator pointed out also, I don't think the first one was scamming me, it's just that when you write and video chat with a Woman for 7 months and she's aware of the age gap from day one, there is something more to it.


Hi, Nicholas, and  :welcome: to RWD.

In her case, she's wrong!  I've been to Krasnodar, and it is actually a very nice city with some quite beautiful areas.  I've posted several photos in the Gallery here - have a look for yourself.

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?action=gallery;cat=6

The first ten photos on that page are all mine, and they are all from Krasnodar.  The hotel I stayed in provided the best (and best value) breakfast of any hotel I've stayed in anywhere in Russia.

Thank you for posting! Very nice pics... I did some research and was impressed as well, so I was quite surprised with her response.. I have no intention of traveling anywhere but inside Russia.. I'm hoping to visit again in October, I have one favorite that I really like and she appears very sincere, Not a hint of wanting anything except my friendship, I'll see how it plays out... Thanks again!
« Last Edit: July 14, 2016, 04:57:12 AM by Nikolos »

Offline Nikolos

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Re: Are there Russian Women who only want the vacation and not the guy?
« Reply #9 on: July 14, 2016, 05:05:43 AM »

One option is to see multiple women on a single trip.  WMVM.  Meet them for a couple of days in their hometown.  Then leave.  Some men meet several women in the same city.  It is a balancing act.

It's makes a lot more sense, that is if they don't latch onto you.

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Are there Russian Women who only want the vacation and not the guy?
« Reply #10 on: July 14, 2016, 07:04:05 AM »
I was writing to Russian Woman for 7 months and got back from Moscow and Saint Peter last month, She was everything I was looking for in a Woman, very caring, attentive, thrifty, she watched my money more than I did, she had a great personality, educated, a good job, and we got a long really well, she held my arm (not my hand) everywhere we went, it was a 10 day trip, but after the second day I knew something was wrong, she was pulling back and asked her about it, she said she would tell me later that night, Night time came and were both drinking wine in the apartment, she reminds me what she told me when we first began writing, that the age difference bothered her, she is 33 and i'm 55.. And she tells me I remind her of her Dad, I accepted it wasn't going anywhere from that point forward, I was disappointed but not angry and I made the best of the 7 days we had remaining, it was a great 10 days with her!, and we made love many times, she seemed to want it more than I did.. I'm not a bad looking guy, and I'm in great physical shape, 5-7' 139lbs, and I take care of myself, so I know it wasn't my appearance that turned her off, but it was mostly like a Chemistry thing, I was into her but she wasn't into me.. It happens. 

But looking back, she was well aware of my age for 7 months, and she always wanted our relationship to be on a "Friend" basis from the very beginning, she said that if it doesn't work out that she didn't want to hurt my feelings, she was pessimistic from the get go.. She wanted to visit several places, top of the list was the Ballet at the Bolshoi, followed by Saint Peters Palace in Saint Petersburg, The Hermitage Museum, she had a entire itinerary planned out and I always believed she was doing it for both of us, never thought otherwise until I returned home and began re-thinking everything that had happened... But I didn't dwell on it long, I went right back to the Russian dating site and I'm currently writing to 3 different Women, one of them always talks about how much she likes to travel but cant afford it, but yet she has photos of herself in 4 different countries scattered over Europe,  and when I told her I want to visit her in October, she tells me there is not much to see in Krasnodar where she lives, and she asks me if I would want to visit Italy, I told that I would but not on the first meeting, that I prefer to get to know her in her hometown,  eliminating any ulterior motive, After I sent that, I have not heard back from her and we've been writing almost everyday for the last month..

I must happen, many Women are masters of manipulation, playing the guy for everything they can get with no intention of having a sincere and meaningful relationship, Whether this happened with the Woman I met, I cant say for sure, it's speculation on my part, but this new one certainly brought new life into the subject, and I'd like to know if anyone else had a similar experience.. Thank you.

Nicholas

Hi Nick, yeah I had a similar experience but without the sex, in fact without much affection at all, lol - you may have read my fairly recent threads on here about it. So at least you got in a good ride :D Seems the 'Vacation Whore' is a growing phenomena in the Ukraine and Russia. I call it 'soft scam' but 'vacation whore' is perhaps a more apt title, I met my vacation whore in Kiev, like yourself had a great time with her, saw stuff ate out in nice restaurants, put her up in a nice 4 star hotel, etc all at my expense of course as that is the way i the FSU - convenient hey? I was surprised when I eventually discovered that was her motive since you wouldn't think a trip to even the Capital would be worth her while - but as its all expense paid by the guy apparently it is. Even though she had been to the Capital before and had apparently lived their and endure a 18-20 train ride from her war torn district (I believe she is probably telling the truth here but who knows maybe she lives closer but was hoping I would send the money instead of the train tickets).

I was in communication for about 6 months before hand, constant messaging and several skype - she seemed thrilled when I said I would come. It shocks me that women will want to put in this time and message effort input just for a few freebies several months down the road wasting both your time and theirs. Unlike you though I was treated to a 'strictly plutonic' experience, ooo...fun just what I joined a dating site for...not! I mean I would never hold a girl to sex particularly if she was not into me, but she had a chance to see me on skype several times... odds are she knew if she was into me or not, point was she was planning on being a vacation whore all along I think.

Consider yourself lucky Nick, your woman might have 'treated you' to 10 sexless and emotionless days, at least she eased your suffering on that front. I got several days of no affection which was driving me loopy - I mean why come if your not into the guy - sure she was a nice girl to spend time with other than that - but I went there with genuine intentions. I think we should of course be grateful our time was not far worse, at least they showed up and we enjoyed ourselves but still its not what we're in this for and its a big waste of months worth of our time on the search never mind the expense.

Importantly, I believe this 'vacation whore' soft scam is often a forerunner of what the girl will hope will develop into proper scam. She will use it to get to know the guy, get a nice time away even if it is in her home country, then on or after the 'holiday' will create a need for money - as someone has said, shopping, need to move, sick relative or in my case parent retiring. It need not be a direct demand for money but the 'situation' will be made 'apparent' so only an idiot would not see where the guy falls in. Its all just part of a more subtle scam culture - fewer men are falling for the sending money to girl they have never met now knowledge of it is widespread so this unfortunate frustration has reared its ugly head - 'the vacation whore scam'

All I would say with your one i would have thought it a little unusual that the girl would have sex with a much older guy, but then I though a girl enduring a long train journey wouldn't be straight up (if it was one). She might see you as a father figure she never really had but crave the security/well-being off. Many men in the FSU either bugger off or die before the kid has grown up so creating this want I think. How did communication end/tail off? Might be worth keeping communication going see if she does come up with 'money needs'. Possibly she might be straight up. Some girls try to push for more exotic locations for second trips, mine was. Deny if this occurs then you see what she is really out for as you did with the second girl you mention. Advice given to me on here is always home town and I think that is pretty sound, then you know she is wanting to see you, not some place as she already knows her home town all too well (check it is her hometown though, lol).
No Deal is Ideal, It's a Free Britain we want :)

Offline wallm

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Re: Are there Russian Women who only want the vacation and not the guy?
« Reply #11 on: July 16, 2016, 07:05:40 PM »
Advice given to me on here is always home town and I think that is pretty sound

What if her hometown is Donetsk or Lugansk? Not exactly safe for us to go to.

Offline Boethius

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Re: Are there Russian Women who only want the vacation and not the guy?
« Reply #12 on: July 16, 2016, 07:09:51 PM »
If a woman is from Donetsk or Luhansk, she likely has relocated to somewhere else in Ukraine. 
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Offline ML

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Re: Are there Russian Women who only want the vacation and not the guy?
« Reply #13 on: July 16, 2016, 09:17:40 PM »
When women tell me that I remind them of their father . . .
I tell them that they remind me of my grandmother.
That really throws them.
I'm too old to put up with that sort of crap.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

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Re: Are there Russian Women who only want the vacation and not the guy?
« Reply #14 on: July 16, 2016, 10:09:34 PM »
When women tell me that I remind them of their father . . .
I tell them that they remind me of my grandmother.
That really throws them.


:)

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Re: Are there Russian Women who only want the vacation and not the guy?
« Reply #15 on: February 06, 2017, 01:16:31 AM »
When women tell me that I remind them of their father . . .
I tell them that they remind me of my grandmother.
That really throws them.
I'm too old to put up with that sort of crap.

oh, that's  really nice advice :) I'l use it

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Re: Are there Russian Women who only want the vacation and not the guy?
« Reply #16 on: December 23, 2018, 08:21:57 AM »
I read this old post and thought I'd make a comment.  Nikolos the first girl was testing your commitment and you failed.  You did not man up and Persue .  Sadly many women make horrible comments to test your commitment.  But often relationships where you biologically could be her father are a struggle.   Second woman wanting a date away from home don't knock it most fsu  don't want to first date near home.  First date she has with you in home town she will 'receive 5 texts from friends saying  they saw you and calling you her new husband.  I was amazed my gf and I dated 2weeks in other countries, first week in her town we were spotted and approached 5 times a day plus loads of saw you texts.

Offline ML

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Re: Are there Russian Women who only want the vacation and not the guy?
« Reply #17 on: December 23, 2018, 09:31:09 AM »
Second woman wanting a date away from home don't knock it most fsu  don't want to first date near home.  First date she has with you in home town she will 'receive 5 texts from friends saying  they saw you and calling you her new husband.  I was amazed my gf and I dated 2 weeks in other countries, first week in her town we were spotted and approached 5 times a day plus loads of saw you texts.

Strange story re one of my experiences.
I was in mid sized Ukrainian town on business, and also made some visits to local universities.
One married female professor was helpful to me in making contacts with universities, etc.
We went out for lunch a few times, and she would take my hand while we were walking.
We even often passed her friends on the street and she would talk briefly to them.
I thought it risky for her (and maybe me), so asked her wasn't she afraid of her husband finding out about us walking hand in hand.
She said:  I am a good wife and mother, so what is the problem?
Still didn't make sense to me, but I never brought it up again.
We exchanged infrequent emails for several years afterwards, she sending me pics of her and husband on vacation trips, etc.
« Last Edit: December 23, 2018, 09:33:27 AM by ML »
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Re: Are there Russian Women who only want the vacation and not the guy?
« Reply #18 on: December 23, 2018, 09:42:28 AM »
ML  that was a loud message.  Holding hands in public in my experience that's a big deal and the deal is sealed. 

Offline ML

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Re: Are there Russian Women who only want the vacation and not the guy?
« Reply #19 on: December 23, 2018, 08:15:49 PM »
ML  that was a loud message.  Holding hands in public in my experience that's a big deal and the deal is sealed.

But in this instance, there never was a deal and the deal was never sealed.

An outlier experience for sure.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

 

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