How to deal with a girl that doesn't write good English?

[dragonkid]

That's actually excellent advice. When/if you ever have a successful relationship you look back on it and remember this day. Do you "have to" have every hobby, every like the same. No, don't be stupid but sharing the same interests in something besides hiding the salami helps. Liking and truly loving your partner helps too. Have you ever liked and loved someone? Has anyone ever liked and loved you? From your postings here my guess the answer is no on both accounts.

You have a lot to learn dk. Just a reminder, you learn more with your ears than you do with your mouth. You seem to have a penchant picking or trying to pick scabs of some very knowledgeable old vets. Did you come here to teach everyone based on your one trip? Did your arrival here have anything at all to do with learning?

Have i ever been loved by a female? Yes, something i doubt i could find in russia which is unconditional love. I found one person now who shares my humor, and we connect well,much more than me just simply charming her, but we will see how that goes(Not the woman below).

Regarding a lot to learn.... From guys like billy? Who thinks a chat up line to say to a girl is

what colour panties are you wearing?
when are your red days? so i can skip those days

No thanks, i will stick to making a girl laugh, making her feel special, and being deep. Hence why this girl is coming next month to london, has her visa, insists on more whatsapp calls, and is intrigued by me, and asked a few times for confirmation that we will meet up. I make her laugh over the phone, and that for some women is enough.

now regarding hobbies, yes they are some what important, but not critical. Hide the salmi helps, but what helps even more is your personality. Some women connect with me because i am naturally funny, and make them feel special. They feel good around me, some say that i touch them and speak to them in ways that they never experienced before, or very rarely has a guy made them feel like that. That is game, that is what makes a woman stick to you like glue, you won't be sharing each others hobbies 19 hours a day, but you will be communicating. Hobbies are fun, i can share other peoples hobbies simply because i like to be around them, and that for me is fun.

[Boethius]

Cohabitation, prior to marriage, leads to higher divorce rates.  I would have thought the opposite would have happened.


http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/03/the-science-of-cohabitation-a-step-toward-marriage-not-a-rebellion/284512/

That article was all over the place.  It seems to suggest the age at which a commitment is made is a bigger factor in divorce than is whether or not couples cohabited.  Then it goes on to say some couples who cohabited would not have stayed together if they'd just dated.  I can see that, it's about not cutting your losses.

[fathertime]

Cohabitation, prior to marriage, leads to higher divorce rates.  I would have thought the opposite would have happened.


http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/03/the-science-of-cohabitation-a-step-toward-marriage-not-a-rebellion/284512/

I suspect nowadays more of the ones that are more cautious don't cohabitate.  Those more cautious people are probably more likely to stick out marriages that aren't good because they are cautious, and wouldn't dare to divorce...they would rather live unhappily then roll the dice with a divorce.


Fathertime! 

[Faux Pas]

Cohabitation, prior to marriage, leads to higher divorce rates.  I would have thought the opposite would have happened.


http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/03/the-science-of-cohabitation-a-step-toward-marriage-not-a-rebellion/284512/

I'm a believer. I lived with my 1st wife 2 years then got married. 11 years and 2 kids later split the sheets. I don't think the divorce was a result of living together first. No, that was because she was the succubus puss and hate filled demon from hell  Actually she wasn't but that's beside the point. I don't the shacking up had anything to do with it though. But hey, maybe the proof is in the pudding?

[LiveFromUkraine]

That article was all over the place.  It seems to suggest the age at which a commitment is made is a bigger factor in divorce than is whether or not couples cohabited.  Then it goes on to say some couples who cohabited would not have stayed together if they'd just dated.  I can see that, it's about not cutting your losses.

The one study that was linked to in that article talked about the cutting losses angle.  That people sort of fell into living together.  It wasn't a planned event. 


http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/08/13/AR2009081304118.html

The problem is one of inertia, he says. Living together, mingling finances and completely intertwining your lives makes it harder to break up than if you'd stayed at separate addresses. "Some people get trapped by that and they end up hanging around," he explains. Even if a couple doesn't eventually marry, they might prolong the relationship and "miss other opportunities with a person who's a better fit."

I can see it happening.   He then mentions that people who were engaged prior to marriage didn't see any increase in divorce. 
It sounds like one is making a conscious decision that this is a partner for life and the other is just going with the flow.  haha

[LiveFromUkraine]

I suspect nowadays more of the ones that are more cautious don't cohabitate.  Those more cautious people are probably more likely to stick out marriages that aren't good because they are cautious, and wouldn't dare to divorce...they would rather live unhappily then roll the dice with a divorce.


Fathertime!

Interesting point FT. 


It is interesting, to me, that the stats say women are more likely to initiate divorce proceedings.  Is that because men, in general, are more risk averse to starting over like you mentioned? 

[Faux Pas]

What I mean is, you cannot truly know the essence of a person without having lived with him/her. 


I think it took me about three years to really know my husband.  At this point, there are zero surprises.

I know what you mean Boe but, knowing someone truly doesn't guarantee a happy marriage. Sometimes even the opposite, no? I didn't know my wife "truly" when we married and she didn't me either. We only had just less than 3 months face time when we married. We trusted each other enough and knew we wanted to be in love. To me that is the fallacy of these marriages is the chance one has to take. Sometimes they are worth it, sometimes apparently not so much. There isn't many folks in this endeavor that can wait and have 3 years to truly know each other IMO

[LiveFromUkraine]

I'm a believer. I lived with my 1st wife 2 years then got married. 11 years and 2 kids later split the sheets. I don't think the divorce was a result of living together first. No, that was because she was the succubus puss and hate filled demon from hell  Actually she wasn't but that's beside the point. I don't the shacking up had anything to do with it though. But hey, maybe the proof is in the pudding?

lol  I read a study on marrying succubus' and the divorce rate.  I think you lasted a lot longer than the average dude.  Don't get me started on the early death studies.  haha


The only reason I know about this type of research was due to a guy telling me about it.  He was adamant in the research.  He was on his second marriage.  They did live together prior marriage in his first attempt.  It sounded like he blamed a lot of it on living together beforehand.


I had a hard time wrapping my head around it because I had always thought similar to what Bo said.

[2tallbill]

Do i really need to go into detail about your wife leaving you because she didn't like where you lived?Or was the contents of your cupboards not to her satisfaction? God i hate those women, fucking coffee gold diggers, all they care about is the quality brand of your coffee. Find me a down to earth girl who enjoys a nice cup of nescafe, and hot coco.

Yes, you really need to go into detail because you made up the whole thing in
your head. You have no idea what happened 10+ years ago with my first
marriage.

[fathertime]

Interesting point FT. 


It is interesting, to me, that the stats say women are more likely to initiate divorce proceedings.  Is that because men, in general, are more risk averse to starting over like you mentioned?

I say that each situation is too different to make a blanket statement about who is more risk adverse,although I'd theorize that women on the whole are less willing to take risks.
Maybe some of the guys are doing stuff to try to get the woman to the point where she will finally divorce him and set him free!  Maybe some guys feel it is more polite to let the woman to be the dumper...Maybe others just don't want to look like the bad guy and want to be Mr Victim.....just some theories.   


Fathertime!

[LiveFromUkraine]

Yes, you really need to go into detail because you made up the whole thing in
your head. You have no idea what happened 10+ years ago with my first
marriage.

Fess up Bill, you made your ex drink instant coffee and she could never forgive you afterwards.

[LiveFromUkraine]

I say that each situation is too different to make a blanket statement about who is more risk adverse,although I'd theorize that women on the whole are less risk adverse. 
Maybe some of the guys are doing stuff to try to get the woman to the point where she will finally divorce him and set him free!  Maybe some guys feel it is more polite to let the woman to be the dumper...Maybe others just don't want to look like the bad guy and want to be Mr Victim.....just some theories.   


Fathertime!

One of my best friends lived with a woman for around 7 years.  She thought they would get married.  Heck, so did I.  Closer to that 7 year mark he confided in me that he felt like they would get divorced if they marry. 


I just said if that was how he felt then definitely don't get married.  I also said he needed to tell her and move out. 


He met another women soon after he broke up and they have been married for quite some time with 3 handsome boys.  He did live with his current wife before hand and marriage was an easy decision for him.


I'm really glad he didn't get married because he felt pressure.  It's too bad that 7 years was wasted but it worked out for both of them in the end.  His ex is married as well and seems very happy.

[LAman]

Cohabitation, prior to marriage, leads to higher divorce rates.  I would have thought the opposite would have happened.


http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/03/the-science-of-cohabitation-a-step-toward-marriage-not-a-rebellion/284512/

I have read similar studies in past few years, I always felt it didn't make sense, goes against what you would think. Until I read a study in regard to couples.
Look at this situation: Usually it is a women that is trying to get married with BF. Eventually, the guy gives in and tells girl ok, lets move in together. Girl thinks this is one step closer to marriage. After some time ( year or two), girl feels its time to get married, pressures the guy, until he gives in and they get married. A few years goes by and there is a rut. They realize they got married for the wrong reason.. then comes the divorce.

I used to listen to a psychologist on the radio. Many of the calls were from women with the same question, "how do I get my BF to marry me?" When she asked how long they were dating, the answers would be....2 years,6 years, once even 10 years!!!! Then she asked the caller, "How long are you going to audition for that part!!" 

 Then she would say, if you want to be married to the guy, leave him. Her answer used to stun them. Of course, many were confused and didn't like the advice!!!

Now, with me blessed with great advice. I was talking with the GF of one of my friends sons. She confided with me. Told me she wanted to be married, been dating my friends son for several years. I told her, if you want to get married leave your BF, if he loves you he'll marry you, if not then it may never happen. Sound advice???
A few months later, I ran into this girl. I asked what happened to relationship. She said, 'Oh, we decided to move in together"!!!! 

[LiveFromUkraine]

Then she would say, if you want to be married to the guy, leave him. Her answer used to stun them. Of course, many were confused and didn't like the advice!!!

Now, with me blessed with great advice. I was talking with the GF of one of my friends sons. She confided with me. Told me she wanted to be married, been dating my friends son for several years. I told her, if you want to get married leave your BF, if he loves you he'll marry you, if not then it may never happen. Sound advice???
A few months later, I ran into this girl. I asked what happened to relationship. She said, 'Oh, we decided to move in together"!!!! 

haha  At least she pretended to listen. Sometimes I think people are so caught up in a dream that they don't want to face reality.  I know it has happened to me before.

I started hanging out with an ex girlfriend after my divorce. A really cool girl that was just super chill and hated drama as much as I did.

Just a ton of fun to spend time with.

She asked me if I missed being married and it dawned on me that I didn't really miss being married to my ex.   I said I missed the idea of what I thought I was going to have, but didn't miss the reality. 



That girl could wake up 7 years later to find out her boyfriend doesn't want to marry her. 

[Boethius]

I know what you mean Boe but, knowing someone truly doesn't guarantee a happy marriage. Sometimes even the opposite, no? I didn't know my wife "truly" when we married and she didn't me either. We only had just less than 3 months face time when we married. We trusted each other enough and knew we wanted to be in love. To me that is the fallacy of these marriages is the chance one has to take. Sometimes they are worth it, sometimes apparently not so much. There isn't many folks in this endeavor that can wait and have 3 years to truly know each other IMO

That's my point.

Bill's view is if you ask all these questions, you will know the woman you are marrying.  My view is you really can't know anyone in this period.  You can have inklings of who that person is, but yes, you just have to take that leap of faith.

[Faux Pas]

That's my point.

Bill's view is if you ask all these questions, you will know the woman you are marrying.  My view is you really can't know anyone in this period.  You can have inklings of who that person is, but yes, you just have to take that leap of faith.

But what you can do is, all you can do. I "dated" my wife for over 2 years before we got married and that only equated to less than 3 months in 6 trips. I was nervous we didn't know each other well enough and so was she. It was a leap of faith but again, very very few are able to get more face time than even we did.

In our case it worked out. I know some OWW that are working out too.

[Boethius]

Anyone who is risk adverse, I believe, should not seek out an international marriage.

I know some OWW that are working out too.

I am a OWW.  Moved in with the better half after exactly 7 days together. 

[Faux Pas]

Anyone who is risk adverse, I believe, should not seek out an international marriage.

I am a OWW.  Moved in with the better half after exactly 7 days together.

Scandalous 

[2tallbill]

That's my point.

Bill's view is if you ask all these questions, you will know the woman you are marrying.  My view is you really can't know anyone in this period.  You can have inklings of who that person is, but yes, you just have to take that leap of faith.

Boe I am changing my stated opinion based on the arguments you've presented.
However, if you don't ask the questions you will know them even less. I think that
guys should ask a million questions and have conversations about everything under
the sun. Especially about children and various scenarios that may possibly crop up.

[Eduard]

Boe I am changing my stated opinion based on the arguments you've presented.
However, if you don't ask the questions you will know them even less. I think that
guys should ask a million questions and have conversations about everything under
the sun. Especially about children and various scenarios that may possibly crop up.

Some guys like to be "an open book" sharing everything about themselves with a woman. Can be good and bad as many women like some mistery about the guy she is with. Also many FSU women believe that they should maintain some mistery to keep a guy's interest. So asking a million questions might be irritating to them.

Based on my life experience I can say this: make sure that a person's core values are good and he/she is not a pathological liar, has no addictions and not an evil person in general. Watch out for mental illness and psychological issues. Good sex (for both) is important too. Everything else is a gamble. Short and sweet ;-)

[Patagonie]

Some guys like to be "an open book" sharing everything about themselves with a woman. Can be good and bad as many women like some mistery about the guy she is with. Also many FSU women believe that they should maintain some mistery to keep a guy's interest. So asking a million questions might be irritating to them.

Based on my life experience I can say this: make sure that a person's core values are good and he/she is not a pathological liar, has no addictions and not an evil person in general. Watch out for mental illness and psychological issues. Good sex (for both) is important too. Everything else is a gamble. Short and sweet ;-)

+1

[2tallbill]

Dump her move on