zdrasti

[BillyB]

I've read some negative experiences here. Does anyone something positive to say?

Plenty of positive experiences but you're not going to hear about them. Most people who use this site and get happily married disappear. A few come back to say "hi" and "bye" every few years. Some happily married guys remain here to help newbies. I certainly don't regret marrying an FSU woman.

[msmobyone]

Hi Roddy,

if you apply the 10 commandments - at least until you have been to the FSU - you'll find reading trip reports useful.

The main things to remember

1/ 'family' to a FSU woman doesn't necessary mean having kids together ..it means a family unit ..

2/ The man is expected to pay when on a date ...but a 'keeper' will help you spent your money wisely...arranging fair priced transport, etc., - if she doesn't have a car.  That does not mean being silly or a soft touch.

[Gator]

Roddy, I now understand your objective better.  To learn about Russia, its language, its people, its history, its women, read everything.....repeat, everything....posted by mendeleyev.  He is our most valuable contributor by far.   

Mendy is an American journalist, married to a RW, and a long time resident of Moscow.  You will be busy for days. 

                                http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14065.0

And read his journal published outside of RWD:

                                 http://russianreport.wordpress.com/2016/07/21/car-bomb-kills-journalist-in-ukraine/


Now I will address your specific post.

@Gator:
I guess I should have said. I'm not interested in getting married, right now. I came to this website seeking advice and reading men's experience with FSUW. They're intriguing to me. They seem to be interested in a more traditional role in a relationship. They are very different than a lot of American women.

Ah ha!  You do have some interest. 

A few relationships at RWD have happily developed into marriage even though the man and RW did not meet each other until after a year of communication (Blues Fairy is such an example). 

If you are a young man, you should eventually be able to find on social media a student or young RW starting her career who is also not ready to marry, yet would be interested in talking about each other's culture. 

  But you're right about other message boards. Maybe this site is not a good choice for me. If someone could direct me to a website like this I would be grateful. In the meantime I will do a google search to see what I can find.

In 90 seconds I found:

                            http://masterrussian.net/

I know absolutely nothing about them, but it is a forum to learn language and also discuss culture. 

I think it would be a good time to read a lot of stories of relationships on this website. I am trying to  be thoughtful and deliberate in making  a decision. It's a major life decision. It's not like buying a puppy. But I appreciate what you have to say.

Start with Blues Fairy whom I mentioned above.   I don't recall her having a separate thread about her communicating with the man whom she married, yet if you search her posts in the archives you may find something.  You will at least read some posts made by an intelligent, outspoken RW.  You may rethink your thoughts about "traditional women."

                         http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=16601.msg406800#msg406800


BillyB has a long, long story.  He received much criticism, yet they married and life continues as reported in this thread.  He has a much longer thread which covers their first meetings (and I am sure he will direct you to it).

                                   http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=19800.0

But before you do this, ready mendy as I suggested at the start.

I've read some negative experiences here. Does anyone something positive to say?

There are many ongoing squabbles at RWD that spill into new threads.  Ignore them because there are many positive contributions. 
                                         

 

[2tallbill]

Welcome to the forum,

There is a wealth of information here, you just have to be willing to spend the
time reading it.

As Moby said read the ten commandments http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=1740.0

A good place to start is to download the free ebook
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?action=ezportal;sa=page;p=47

If you want to know the some good ways to go about meeting an FSUW you can
go here http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14615.0

Then read as many trip reports as you can stand. My story is here
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=3432.0

There are plenty of places here to learn about the History, language and culture
and of course you can also ask questions. When asking a question, you will get
plenty of answers, some friendly and some rude, some of them good advice and
others that are more dubious. Your job is to not get offended and then sift through
the information and advice using what works for you, your personality and your
situation.

Use the best ignore, the rest,

Udachi!

Bill

[roddy]

Thank you all.
You have given me a wealth of information which I will read.
I understand a few things about Russian culture and women from things online.  Russian relationships are very traditional. Men are expected to be polite and pay for dates.  Women do want a family unit. To accept a woman, you should make an attempt to get to know the extended family, parents, children, siblings and also friends. Try to learn some Russian even if it's far from perfect.
I'm looking for a discussion board with the most active and recent posts. I appreciate your help. Maybe I haven't looked in the right places. But this site is one of the few that are the most active. There's a lot of Russian American sites but the primary language is Russian. I don't know enough Russian to carry on an intelligent conversation. I would feel like an outsider.
I am trying to stay away from dating sites.  I have joined a penpal site for friendship and conversation with a message board that includes help in learning Russian. This site has very specific goals that a person wants.
For example a person couldwant friendship and email correspondence  only ,or dating, learning languages and general conversation. It's free. It has a lot of women from FSU who are active and looking for a relationship. I am distrustful of dating sites only. Some seem to be interested in only getting your money. They lure you in with photos of attractive women. Some profiles are lacking details and don't give much information. Some sites won't tell the last login date of members. I have thought about joining Vkontakte English version. But given the state of Russian American  geopolitical relations this may not be a good idea.
I can understand people who don't post here any longer after reaching their goals . After all they have found who they are looking for. Why come back?

[BillyB]

I am distrustful of dating sites only. Some seem to be interested in only getting your money.

You got to dig through a lot of dirt to find some gold. Don't let the dirt scare you but keep in mind, some places are much easier to find gold than others. Try to use dating sites that guys here recommend.

[ML]

They seem to be interested in a more traditional role in a relationship. They are very different than a lot of American women.

A very common misconception or attempt by men to delude themselves.

[papakota]

I want to know why Russian women are interested in western men.  I wonder what it would be like to marry a woman from the FSU. I haven't made any decisions yet. You're right it's probably impossible to understand women.   I'm curious .

If I were you, I would've asked myself why Russian women would be interested in me (meaning, in you). Both Donald Trump and a homeless guy in NY are western men. So what? Generalization won't get you far.

[papakota]

It is not a greeting, my father used it to teach 3 years old me not to use zdrasti. It sounds even worse than privet to unknown people.

It really depends on whom you talk to. Like you won't say zdrasti (здрасти!) to an Immigration officer. But you can easily say that to a cleaner at your apartment building where you live. Privet (привет!) is totally different story altogether. Usually you say that to a friend or a family member (like your son or your wife).

[BorisS]

You got to dig through a lot of dirt to find some gold. Don't let the dirt scare you but keep in mind, some places are much easier to find gold than others. Try to use dating sites that guys here recommend.

BiillyB, weren't you the guy who wrote hundreds of letters in a shotgun approach to weed candidates down. I remember reading about that at the time and thought that it was a great idea for the guy who hast the time and the patience :-)

[BillyB]

BiillyB, weren't you the guy who wrote hundreds of letters in a shotgun approach to weed candidates down. I remember reading about that at the time and thought that it was a great idea for the guy who hast the time and the patience :-)

That was me but I finished with writing thousands of women. It's actually not that time consuming. Just need to write one letter and paste a thousands of times. Need to change the names though. Using Mamba, a dating site, a short introduction message is good enough. I didn't waste time reading their profiles. Everybody sounds good on paper since they wrote it. If I liked how they looked, I wrote them.By using the shotgun approach, I hit a few ladies that really liked how I looked and were thrilled to respond. It's best to focus on women that's happy I came into their lives.

[roddy]

If I were you, I would've asked myself why Russian women would be interested in me (meaning, in you). Both Donald Trump and a homeless guy in NY are western men. So what? Generalization won't get you far.

I've been thinking about it lately. And I've come a  conclusion.   Pursuing a Russian might be more trouble than it's worth.  Speaking of generalizations , I have been reading some not so good things about FSU women.    This is why I haven't been active in this forum lately. 

[ML]

  Pursuing a Russian might be more trouble than it's worth. 

Pursuing (and following through to marriage and afterward) a Russian (or probably any foreign person) certainly is a lot of trouble.

Is it worth it ?

It certainly is not; if you could find a comparable mate in your home country.

[southernX]

Roddy ,
welcome and happy reading ahead for you 
You have been given some good advice already here from blokes who have a few clues
Listen to them and read and learn , Do your research on the subject & take time to do this properly ,

Know yourself and understand what you need in a relationship & what you don't need or want as well

Write and Skype with as many ladies as possible before you lock in on one

Dragon kid has no real idea of what he babbles on about , so please do not take heed of his bullshit views

There well may be a fantastic FSU lady out there for you , but school up before you jump in too quick & once you have jumped in make the commitment , as it can be a rollercoaster ride
not for someone who is indecisive and insecure imo

best wishes SX

[papakota]

I've been thinking about it lately. And I've come a  conclusion.   Pursuing a Russian might be more trouble than it's worth.  Speaking of generalizations , I have been reading some not so good things about FSU women.    This is why I haven't been active in this forum lately.

You're very very very  wrong. Reading about an orgasm and having it are two totally different things. Come to Russia, spend here AT LEAST 3 months. Meet face to face AT LEAST a dozen of Russian women. Then you can make a decision. And even then, those would be your first impressions. But right now you don't have even that. Someone else's opinion is just that. Their opinion. I'm a citizen of a country where an average monthly income is about $2500.
Here in Russia where I live, it's about $600. Four times less. So if I immigrated to here, then I had some good reasons for that. Think about it. Enough said.

[papakota]

Is it worth it ?

It certainly is not; if you could find a comparable mate in your home country.

Big IF...

[roddy]

You're very very very  wrong. Reading about an orgasm and having it are two totally different things. Come to Russia, spend here AT LEAST 3 months. Meet face to face AT LEAST a dozen of Russian women. Then you can make a decision. And even then, those would be your first impressions. But right now you don't have even that. Someone else's opinion is just that. Their opinion. I'm a citizen of a country where an average monthly income is about $2500.
Here in Russia where I live, it's about $600. Four times less. So if I immigrated to here, then I had some good reasons for that. Think about it. Enough said.

Are you serious? I don't know many people who can get away from work for months. Has anyone here been able to get away from commitments at home for 3 months?. I could do 3 weeks. Maybe 4.

[roddy]

I believe it's very hard for a former FSU woman to come here.
She wouldn't see her family friends everyday.
There is big Adjustment between cultures here.
Can anyone tell me how difficult it was for your wives to get used to living in your country?
Some marriages could fail trying overcome these obstacles. I wonder what the divorce rates are among FSU women and Western men.

[BorisS]

That was me but I finished with writing thousands of women. It's actually not that time consuming. Just need to write one letter and paste a thousands of times. Need to change the names though. Using Mamba, a dating site, a short introduction message is good enough. I didn't waste time reading their profiles. Everybody sounds good on paper since they wrote it. If I liked how they looked, I wrote them.By using the shotgun approach, I hit a few ladies that really liked how I looked and were thrilled to respond. It's best to focus on women that's happy I came into their lives.

A lot of guys miss this step :-))))

[papakota]

Are you serious? I don't know many people who can get away from work for months. Has anyone here been able to get away from commitments at home for 3 months?. I could do 3 weeks. Maybe 4.

Try to get a job in Russia without a Russian passport in your pocket and you'll understand me in about two seconds.

[papakota]

I believe it's very hard for a former FSU woman to come here.
She wouldn't see her family friends everyday.
There is big Adjustment between cultures here.
Can anyone tell me how difficult it was for your wives to get used to living in your country?
Some marriages could fail trying overcome these obstacles. I wonder what the divorce rates are among FSU women and Western men.

Again, you're wasting your time and emotions theorizing too much. You know, in Russia we call it "an average body temperature for the hospital (meaning for all the patients who are in it)". Everything is difficult in life. People do what they have to do. As per divorce rates, no one would tell you that statistics, but something tells me it's lower than among Western women and Western men. FSU woman married to a Western man and living with him in the West has more reasons to keep the marriage alive than Western women have in their marriages to locals. In the long term period (over 10 years of marriage), the stats is probably about the same.

[jone]

Most of the men on this forum have been married at least once before.  Any divorce rate statistics would be skewed.

[southernX]

I believe it's very hard for a former FSU woman to come here.
She wouldn't see her family friends everyday.
There is big Adjustment between cultures here.
Can anyone tell me how difficult it was for your wives to get used to living in your country?
Some marriages could fail trying overcome these obstacles. I wonder what the divorce rates are among FSU women and Western men.

roddy , this adventure is not easy , its not some miracle online shopping trip to just get an instant wife

''YOU ''need to invest a lot of time and effort to get it happening and keep it happening all the way through , its called commitment 

if ?  you can do that you will often find the rewards are well worth the effort

my wife cut ties with many friends to move here , here family she now sees much less frequently , however she has applied herself totally to make it work right from the first day with her son , she has never ever expressed the wish to leave or go back even though at times , especially in the early stages she must have felt that way often 

she has always stayed loyal to me , again even during difficult times where we have had major disagreements about various things , she has been as stubborn as an ox over something , but her love and commitment to me and our relationship has never waivered over the years

she is always looking to make improvements for herself and our family

you will not find a life partner like that easily ime


the least anyone  can  do is to offer the same level of   love , commitment and loyalty in return
what you put in , you will get back 

as you have been advised , go there , spend time there , meet up with people and make your decision based on your experiences

but don't be half arsed about it thinking its an easy quick fix for you to install another person into your life , because its a lot more energy & time required than that

SX

[roddy]

I am not planning on living in Russia.  I would like to visit.
If it's not too personal, can someone tell me what the costs would be?
Going there to visit.  Lawyers fees. Fees for documents.
Transportation costs. I realize it may be different depending on which country you live in.

[Faux Pas]

I am not planning on living in Russia.  I would like to visit.
If it's not too personal, can someone tell me what the costs would be?
Going there to visit.  Lawyers fees. Fees for documents.
Transportation costs. I realize it may be different depending on which country you live in.

Lawyers fees? Are you planning on committing a crime while you're there? If you are, an American lawyer won't help you. Expenses for you to visit Russia really isn't "that" bad. Depending on where you live and exactly where you are going count on $1200-$1500 plane ticket. Lodging and food depends on your personal taste, whether or not you are alone and you can do it as cheap as $75 per day or really enjoy yourself at $250 a day and of course you could really splurge and spend much more.

I would recommend budgeting a minimum $200 per day for yourself and at least another $100 for any other person that may join you. Likely you won't spend that much most days if you are reasonable with your money, some days you can spend more. That's enjoying yourself in reasonable accommodations and enjoying yourself throughout the day but not spending like a drunken sailor on shore leave.

Document wise you will need an invitation and a visa. You'll need 2 passport photos for the visa. You'll need to obtain the invitation (easily to do online) and unless you live in or close to a Russian consulate or embassy you'll need to employ the services of a visa company such as www.travisa.com . Your visa cradle to grave and invitation will cost you $309.95 - $359.99