To the 54 year old in Texas sending his wife from Odessa home

[alex330]

You pos. I hope you are on the forum and read this.

You just wasted this girls life. It took you six years to get your act together and get her to the US.
She is 32 years old and you just wasted the best years of her life.

My wife just spoke to her on the phone. Odessa is a big village you know. She is from my wife's neighborhood. She is a nice girl from a good family. She is not a gold digger. She waited for you. She just wanted a decent guy. She deserves so much more than you could ever offer.

She waited for you six years and left everything for you. She has a traumatic experience here and you return her like damaged goods. Then you lie to her and tell her you will come visit.

Her mother could not sleep for weeks. She was worried sick. And now she gets her daughter sent back like trash.

You still listen to your mother at 54 yrs old. You fucking mammas boy. Not man enough to look her in the eye and tell her the truth.

The only thing that makes this better is that she can now move on with her life and find someone who deserves her. Don't look in Odessa, you are done there. Don't go visit her, stay home asshole.

PS  - For those reading this is one of the reasons you pick a girl that speaks a little English. This is why women in Ukraine are leery of Western men. Another horror story about Western men. These are the types of scumbags women deal with. Don't be that guy.

[Boethius]

This thread is useless without pictures.

[Boethius]

Seriously, why is she going home?  Does she want to leave the US?


There are former posters here who did much the same thing (though not listening to their mothers), and were viewed with sympathy by most of the members. 

[Larry1]

Here we occasionally read accounts of wrongdoing by girls. That's understandable because this forum has mainly male members. It's easy to forget that there are a lot of guys who treat girls badly.

I hope she posts her story on antidate to warn other girls about the guy, assuming antidate is still active.

[alex330]

Seriously, why is she going home?  Does she want to leave the US?

He listened to his mommy and bought her a plane ticket. She wants to stay with him. She speaks no English and has no friends. It is too late to stay and she will be home in the next day or two. She is packing now.

It is better she leave than deal with some loser like this.

[Boethius]

So she is not married to him?

[alex330]

So she is not married to him?

Nope. K1 VISA with ninety days almost up. He will visit her later this year of course, fix things, she can re-enter again lies, lies, lies.

[Boethius]

Well, if she sees him, then in a way, she is also to blame for allowing herself to be his doormat.

[Anotherkiwi]

Alex - seriously, what are you talking about?  You don't provide any details, or links to a newspaper story, so what has got you so riled up?

Tell us what has actually happened.

[tfcrew]

Tell us what has actually happened.

 
Let's not.
There are always two sides to every story. Why have a third?

[alex330]

Alex - seriously, what are you talking about?  You don't provide any details, or links to a newspaper story, so what has got you so riled up?

Tell us what has actually happened.

No newspaper articles Kiwi. Some guy just wasted the best years of a young woman's life.

For those who are not familiar with Ukraine there is something called the Babushka Network. It is very well connected. Knock on MIL door from neighborhood lady, phone call to US to find missing girl, and wife reaches out to her to help. Story comes out.

[ML]

This is part of the reason for 90 day K-1.  See if the two are really compatible and ready for marriage.  We always say here you really don't know a person until you life with them.  So now they lived together and came to know each other.

Both sides get a lot of advice both before and during this 90 day period, some of it from mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, best friends, etc.  Nothing wrong with this.  You listen to advice, but still make your own decisions.

So it didn't work out.  Isn't it better for the gal to go back home than to continue, get hooked into a bad marriage, get pregnant, etc.?

[BillyB]

This thread is useless without pictures.

You want to see a photo of a piece of shit? I don't think Alex is talking about someone that's human. He didn't mention a name.

You fucking piece of shit.

You just wasted this girls life. It took you six years to get your act together and get her to the US.
She is 32 years old and you just wasted the best years of her life.

The girl is an adult and is just as responsible in getting to know the person she is going to marry. Each and everyone of us need to have some accountability for our actions. There are no guarantees in this endeavor which means there are risks that we have to take. She should be happy her fiancée didn't end up marrying her.

[Brasscasing]

I have a question, Alex. Did he visit her or did they meet at any time during those six years before she came to the US?

Brass

[fathertime]

Six years is way too long for a young woman to be kept hanging.  A guy in his late 40's/early 50's should know that.  To keep her on the line for so long, then drop her in less than 90 days doesn't seem right....  If his mother's advice or like/dislike of the lady was a critical aspect to her leaving, then the guy has little value to most any woman. 


I wonder what the hell she saw in this guy for all those 6 years of waiting.  At 32 she is still young enough to find another man, if she gets on the case. 


Fathertime!

[JayH]

You fucking piece of shit. I hope you are on the forum and read this.
stay home asshole.

PS  - For those reading this is one of the reasons you pick a girl that speaks a little English. This is why women in Ukraine are leery of Western men. Another horror story about Western men. These are the types of scumbags women deal with. Don't be that guy.

100% agree with you Sasha.
All too common a story unfortunately.
The quality( or should I say LACK  of quality) amongst men that make this search is appalling.To get that far and take this action is disgusting.
While many things in this world should remain private-this should be exposed to see the story.
FSUW womens forums are actually full of horror stories that do make it harder for good guys, unfortunately this looks like another one.
I might add-- some girls do make appalling choices .

[BC]

This is part of the reason for 90 day K-1.  See if the two are really compatible and ready for marriage. 

That's not the purpose of the K-1, but yes it is misused in that manner.

[BillyB]

Six years is way too long for a young woman to be kept hanging.

Most FSU women would drop a guy if he couldn't make a decision to advance the relationship after a few months of communicating. The lady who is now heartbroken decided to wait for a deadbeat for 6 years. I'm not surprised she ended up disappointed. He couldn't make good decisions then so she shouldn't expect him to make good decisions now.

[BC]

The girl is an adult and is just as responsible in getting to know the person she is going to marry. Each and everyone of us need to have some accountability for our actions. There are no guarantees in this endeavor which means there are risks that we have to take. She should be happy her fiancée didn't end up marrying her.

Indeed.  Sadly it will be just another train wreck added to the long list that taint this venture.

[dragonkid]

So she was 26 when she met him, and he was 48, nice "normal" 22 year age gap. You say she is from a well off family, what is well off in ukraine? $1m household? An inheritance shared by 4 brothers and sisters. does that mean she is 100% genuine? Really loved the guy? was right for the guy? What should of he done? Married the girl because rwd males think it is the right thing to do? All i see is a 22 year age gap, something seems a little off to wait 6 years for a guy 22 years older than you. She might feel bad for various of reasons, like wasting 6 years on one ticket. We know nothing really, just a woman who feels bad, and we all been in that situation, where lies are spread about you. That day when you put your hands around herr neck when she said to you "dominate me", yeh.... That is now a rape allegation 

[Faux Pas]

This is part of the reason for 90 day K-1.  See if the two are really compatible and ready for marriage.  We always say here you really don't know a person until you life with them.  So now they lived together and came to know each other.

Both sides get a lot of advice both before and during this 90 day period, some of it from mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, best friends, etc.  Nothing wrong with this.  You listen to advice, but still make your own decisions.

So it didn't work out.  Isn't it better for the gal to go back home than to continue, get hooked into a bad marriage, get pregnant, etc.?

The K-1 isn't a test drive period and was never meant to be. They are already supposed to know each other before filing a K-1

[BillyB]

does that mean she is 100% genuine? Really loved the guy? was right for the guy?

It seems she wanted him more than he wanted her in this case. I don't know how many trips the guy made to Ukraine over the last 6 years but apparently he made enough for our consulate to grant them a K-1 visa. They should know each other very well after 6 years. He also had to spend money to fly her to America.  After a few months living together, he decided he didn't want this. He too lost 6 years of his life and wasted money. Sounds like they both made a very bad decision.

[LiveFromUkraine]

Six years is way too long for a young woman to be kept hanging.  A guy in his late 40's/early 50's should know that.  To keep her on the line for so long, then drop her in less than 90 days doesn't seem right....  If his mother's advice or like/dislike of the lady was a critical aspect to her leaving, then the guy has little value to most any woman. 


I wonder what the hell she saw in this guy for all those 6 years of waiting.  At 32 she is still young enough to find another man, if she gets on the case. 


Fathertime!

I'm surprises she waited that long.  Also, why hadn't she learned English in all that time if she was interested in a relationship with this guy?  Did the guy speak Russian?


32 is young for the west.  Not so young for Ukraine. 

[fathertime]

The K-1 isn't a test drive period and was never meant to be. They are already supposed to know each other before filing a K-1

Well after a 6 year courtship, I'd say the 90 day 'test drive' is not how it should be.  The reality of other situations maybe be different though, so in many cases the two individuals would use the 90 days to get some final verification they want to actually go forward with marriage...really I don't see a problem with that...but not if a young woman has been on the line for 6 years....


Fathertime! 

[ML]

I disagree with others concerning the 90 day period.

Yes, I understand that this is not meant to be a time in which the parties get to know each other to see if they want to get married.

They are already supposed to know each other, be committed to the relationship, etc.

However . . . it has been stated here numerous times that you really don't know someone until you have lived with them.

And by this we mean a substantial length of continuous time, not a few days here and there, even if over a 6 year period.

So this 90 day time period really is the first time for many couples that they are able to judge their compatibility for continuous day to day living.

In this case, the decision was made (at least by one party) that there was not marriage compatibility.  The other party should be thankful that they do not have a divorce to go through, a child to raise alone, etc.

Perhaps the woman and her family refused to let the couple live together earlier in the 6 year period.  In which case, they bear some blame also for 'keeping her hanging' for 6 years until this non-compatibility was realized.