What are the odds?

[Trenchcoat]

Ok, so this Monday I will be flying out from the UK to Odessa/Mykolaiv to meet with this girl. She looks real hot in the photos, well she does it for me. She comes across as a typically direct/blunt Ukrainian girl in her messages, but that is something I don't mind if she is genuine enough. I've not skyped, just messaged but I have done my research on girl so far as I can and ask probing question, no red flags came up, anything but in fact. She seems decent, I know I thought that of the last girl I met, but even there I could have done far worse as I wasn't scammed to any great extent, nor would I allow myself to be. Walking off is always an option if things turned bad on that front.

Anyway, I basically met the girl I am going to see on Mamba, she contacted me, so I'm hoping the feeling/attraction to each other is mutual. In any case I have been told on hear both cities are nice to visit in the summer so I should be ok if things don't turn out/ can scout around for women and the city. So my question is what are the odds do you think that you can meet someone just by photos on a legit website?

I ask this as myself I'm sure it works for some, obviously it has, but is it really that great a way to go about this search, is it a bit random, i.e some of the successful blokes on here having their success being as much down to luck as anything else?

[BC]

Odds only apply to a group.  For any single member of that group the odds are always 50/50.. a coin toss will work just as well.  I rekon a few have met their FSU match not even trying.  I honestly think that specifically 'chasing' one particular group may even reduce chances.. by exclusion of other, more homegrown groups.

But yeah, go have fun and expect nothing.. sometimes life has a surprise in store.

[Nightwish]

Ok, so this Monday I will be flying out from the UK to Odessa/Mykolaiv to meet with this girl. She looks real hot in the photos, well she does it for me. She comes across as a typically direct/blunt Ukrainian girl in her messages, but that is something I don't mind if she is genuine enough. I've not skyped, just messaged but I have done my research on girl so far as I can and ask probing question, no red flags came up, anything but in fact. She seems decent, I know I thought that of the last girl I met, but even there I could have done far worse as I wasn't scammed to any great extent, nor would I allow myself to be. Walking off is always an option if things turned bad on that front.

Anyway, I basically met the girl I am going to see on Mamba, she contacted me, so I'm hoping the feeling/attraction to each other is mutual. In any case I have been told on hear both cities are nice to visit in the summer so I should be ok if things don't turn out/ can scout around for women and the city. So my question is what are the odds do you think that you can meet someone just by photos on a legit website?

I ask this as myself I'm sure it works for some, obviously it has, but is it really that great a way to go about this search, is it a bit random, i.e some of the successful blokes on here having their success being as much down to luck as anything else?

I am saying this like so many have said before me, if you keep having this mindset you are doomed to failure.
You anticipate to be scammed rather than letting things play out and just be vary IF the signs comes up.
Instant failure is imminent, especially since you haven't talked before on skype and so on, so slightest thing that comes up because of language barrier or just cultural differences and even life preferences will make you suspect being scammed, and you will fail.

[BillyB]

So my question is what are the odds do you think that you can meet someone just by photos on a legit website?

You decided to meet her and now you're asking the odds? I don't think there is a large enough sample of people done in a study to disclose accurate odds. You've done enough reading here to know how to increase your chances of success in meeting women in the photos of the profiles. People have said get on Skype but you didn't do that with this woman. I've said people can share each others lives by trading photos. You can do that on Mamba. That why you can see where they been or their friends and family. It's too late to ask for them now. You already made the decision to meet her and it will sound suspicious if you ask her for proof that she is the one in the photo of her profile. You've already brought up the issues of scams. Don't turn her off anymore. You need to go into this trip as if she is real and focus on courting her. You can keep your eyes open for red flags but red flags don't always come in the form of scams. Her body language may say she's not into you. She may be nice to you but rude to everybody else. She may not be a good hostess and only meet you one hour each day which means you're on your own the rest of the day. Assume things are going to work out fine unless she proves otherwise.

When you mention she is blunt, is she blunt in a way that is rude to you or just when she's telling you her opinion of other issues? An FSU women can be blunt but she won't insult a person she likes unless she's dumb or rude and you're not going to want to live with a dumb or rude person that's going to run you over all your life.

[Steamer]

So my question is what are the odds do you think that you can meet someone just by photos on a legit website?

Sure you can meet someone but to create a relationship you need facetime. The more the better.

[ML]

You are violating many common sense rules.

The most obvious is failure to talk on Skype.

One conversation there might turn you off completely.

Instead of this logical action, you are going to spend what - - -  $500 to $1,500 to find out what you could discover on Skype for free.

I certainly wouldn't want you as a manager for a business.

[JayH]

 So my question is what are the odds do you think that you can meet someone just by photos on a legit website?

In your case -- absolute zero% chance of success.
You are too much of a penny pinching scrooge greedy man to get anywhere at all
Make sure you keep us informed about every cent you spend- we can all use the laugh .

You have a better chance of winning the lottery than you have of "success"!

[2tallbill]

I ask this as myself I'm sure it works for some, obviously it has, but is it really that great a way to go about this search, is it a bit random, i.e some of the successful blokes on here having their success being as much down to luck as anything else?

There's nothing wrong with getting lucky. You know my opinions on most of the other
questions, so

Udachi!

Bill

[LAman]

>So my question is what are the odds do you think that you can meet someone just by photos on a legit website?

Very poorly asked question. Did you mean just to actually meet someone as opposed to girl never showing up? Or you mean meeting someone with only photos and messages for communication and it turning into a serious relationship?

As to odds, For you Trench....slim and none. Not because you didn't skype but because you have strange attitude, there is nothing positive about your personality. It will show and will be a total turnoff. Out going, optimistic, funny, active and generous gets attention.

Don't worry about what will happen....worry about having a good time.
BTW, very little to do in Nikolaev. Lots more to do in Odessa, with all the beaches and a vibrant centre. I would stay near centre and if you get lonely the Irish pub is where you will find English speakers.

[2tallbill]

Or you mean meeting someone with only photos and messages for communication and it turning into a serious relationship?

Still the fact remains that he's flying off to Ukrainia to meet a girl. He is several steps
ahead of the keyboard Romeo's and the lurkers who are just reading.

My advice would be for him to have a cautiously optimistic attitude and a backup
plan. Be bold and win the girls heart, but if she isn't showing that she is seriously
interested then I would startup the backup plan.

He is already a member of Mamba so a backup plan could be to write 100 pretty
girls and ask them for coffee or tea.

That advice would be good for anyone meeting a girl for the first time. You hope
that there is mutual attraction and chemistry but if there isn't you jump to your
backup plan. Just being in the FSU puts you in near proximity of many available
FSUW, the sooner you start meeting them the sooner you can find the girl for you.

That's my two kopecks,

Bill

[ML]

. . . if you get lonely the Irish pub is where you will find English speakers.

I always avoided such and spent time with local women.
Go into a grocery store and ask a woman customer for help.
If she seems friendly . . . offer to show her your rutabaga.

What man wants to spend time with other men . . . except for those type ??

[JayH]

I always avoided such and spent time with local women.
Go into a grocery store and ask a woman customer for help.
If she seems friendly . . . offer to show her your rutabaga.

What man wants to spend time with other men . . . except for those type ??

The Trenchcoat type of no hopers !

[LAman]

I always avoided such and spent time with local women.
Go into a grocery store and ask a woman customer for help.
If she seems friendly . . . offer to show her your rutabaga.

What man wants to spend time with other men . . . except for those type ??

I was not talking about other men....there are girls there who speak English rather well. Most places you go, shops, restaurants, or girls merely walking, few speak English well enough to have any type of small conversation. Paying customers will at last get some face time.

[2tallbill]

You are violating many common sense rules.

The most obvious is failure to talk on Skype.

One conversation there might turn you off completely.

Instead of this logical action, you are going to spend what - - -  $500 to $1,500 to find out what you could discover on Skype for free.

I beat him up for not using Skype too. However, that is a symptom of the problem.
The problem is not being firm with a beautiful girl. A beautiful girl says she doesn't
want to talk on Skype. That's the point at which a guy can win or lose the girl. If he
insists that she talk on Skype where he is perfectly willing to pursue someone else if
she refuses sends a HUGE message to the girl. You are a real man and not a doormat.

Some girls will refuse and you have to dump them. Most don't, they actually want you
to insist on things from time to time, they want you to take charge some times. You
have to be willing to stand up to a beautiful woman or you will never keep her.

Doormats get feet wiped on them. Don't be a doormat!

You can reason with them a couple of different ways to get them on Skype or some
kind of real time messenger.

1. Usually I turn it around and say, I want you to see me first on Skype so that you
don't run away screaming at the airport. I want to make sure that you think I am
more attractive than a shaved monkey. If you think I look good on a fisheyed PC
camera then you will really like me in person.

2. True story, I met a girl named Anna in Kiev who used photos that were 10 years
old and 20 kilos lighter. I want to make sure you aren't Anna trying for a second chance.

3. I just want to hear your voice and see your beautiful eyes when I talk to you.

4. I don't need to see you today, maybe you don't have on makeup or your hair or
clothes might need fixing but I need to see you on Monday evening your time
because I want to buy a ticket but we have to see each other first.

Use your own words or strategy, but come up with a couple of arguments to get
a girl online with a webcam before you visit her.

You see average looking men with very, very hot women all the time. However,
you never see a doormat with a hot woman. You can decide which guy you are.
You have to insist on things from time to time.

Udachi!


Bill

[Trenchcoat]

I always avoided such and spent time with local women.
Go into a grocery store and ask a woman customer for help.
If she seems friendly . . . offer to show her your rutabaga.

What man wants to spend time with other men . . . except for those type ??

Totally agree ML, always seems weird to me these tours where the men are seen hanging out with other men. I mean what is the point of that going all the way over there for the women then wanting to hanging out with men. Grocery idea good idea 

[Trenchcoat]

In your case -- absolute zero% chance of success.
You are too much of a penny pinching scrooge greedy man to get anywhere at all( and that is before I get to the moron part)
Make sure you keep us informed about every cent you spend- we can all use the laugh .

You have a better chance of winning the lottery than you have of "success"!

Says the guy who has been out there more than 10 times and looking over 5 years, where is your success?

[Trenchcoat]

Still the fact remains that he's flying off to Ukrainia to meet a girl. He is several steps
ahead of the keyboard Romeo's and the lurkers who are just reading.

My advice would be for him to have a cautiously optimistic attitude and a backup
plan. Be bold and win the girls heart, but if she isn't showing that she is seriously
interested then I would startup the backup plan.

He is already a member of Mamba so a backup plan could be to write 100 pretty
girls and ask them for coffee or tea.

That advice would be good for anyone meeting a girl for the first time. You hope
that there is mutual attraction and chemistry but if there isn't you jump to your
backup plan. Just being in the FSU puts you in near proximity of many available
FSUW, the sooner you start meeting them the sooner you can find the girl for you.

That's my two kopecks,

Bill

Good advice 2tallbill, it was part of my intention to get better acquainted with the dating situation while out there, plus have a beach type holiday as well.

[LiveFromUkraine]

Says the guy who has been out there more than 10 times and looking over 5 years, where is your success?

Great question!

[Jumper]

 The *odds* of meeting a girl that is into you, and you being into her,
are as good that way as most others in this particular pursuit.
So ,not very good regardless!!
That's just how it is, even with the best of intentions or methods.

 As you've been thrashed about the ears already about,  lol
the best way to increase the odds some,  would have been to skype , viber (which almost every young FSU woman has)  or talk on the phone, even with a translator if needed.

 I would never have met my wife if she had refused to skype ,or call, etc. That simple. 
 It's not about the actual act itself, which is important for several good reasons, what's more important is the attitude of interest in wanting to contact me, or learn more about each other before meeting.
It also shows signs of a person being willing to compromise , be open minded, and  work a bit at a possible relationship. Which would be important in any cross cultural situation.
  I met her 3 months after first chatting with her. We had talked almost every day prior to meeting, either in video or phone, with just a few days missed over some conflicting schedule of mine or hers.
 One of her roommates was interested in a man from the west allegedly coming to visit. There was no good lines at their house for skype etc, so the roommate would go across the city at 4 am every day to her aunts to contact him on his schedule and then she'd go to work back on the other side of the city.
(The guy was odd, i spoke with him, and he never did go see her, which kind of broke her heart, as yes , some FSU women fall for a man they have never met) My point being she was interested in him, and jumped through hoops to be sure and see/contact him everyday.

Anyway-  You are going- so I second Bill's advice to go in with a positive attitude in general,(always)
and as far as a relationship budding from any meeting,
hope for the best, yet  expect nothing.
 Then simply use common sense to bail if /when it's not working for either person for any reason. If it flops, do not try and recover with that person ,ever. Move on immediately.

[Trenchcoat]

Ok, I'll try to avoid any negativity. I'm not always negative, I would say quarter of the time negative, quarter positive and rest of the half time realist. It depends on my mood but usually I'm reasonably positive when meeting someone, that would just be my opinion though.

Question here wasn't specifically mean for my situation but talking in general as in is it a great idea going on pics on legit websites at all (not saying all the women would be legit though on these websites). As I know some people just prefer to go over there for an extended period either teaching English, as a student or job, perhaps even starting a business and meet women out of the whole FSU dating setup.

[dragonkid]

Try and go to a small city if it doesn't work. No offence but i doubt you can handle a kiev city girl, go to a nice little city and go meet some women.  Be genuine as possible, if asked what you are looking for, be upfront, say you are looking for a nice woman to settle down in the UK. don't say you came to ukraine for fun and see what happens, it sounds like you want to get your dick wet and see what happens after.

[Boethius]

A lot of girls in Kyiv are originally from villages.


No one who is afraid of being scammed will succeed.  Plus, I doubt the first girl Trenchcoat visited, if everything presented is accurate, was a scammer.  What she told him was a way of getting rid of him.

[dragonkid]

A lot of girls in Kyiv are originally from villages.


No one who is afraid of being scammed will succeed.  Plus, I doubt the first girl Trenchcoat visited, if everything presented is accurate, was a scammer.  What she told him was a way of getting rid of him.

I thought she was initially interested in him, after she found out there was little chemistry, she thought she could maybe just get something out of him. I don't think badly of her, a lot of the women guys meet already have local bfs, or are on the site to get something off desperate guys, till they meet the right guy i believe.

[Trenchcoat]

I think that is most likely true DK. She had no VK profile, I tried using photo to find it, etc, so private mode if she did. Possibly it might have been a way of getting rid of me as Boethius suggests. I had tried to steam things up a bit in emails correspondence afterwards as some had suggested, but no joy. However, before she stop replying frequently to my email she was suggesting going abroad with me rather than a domestic holiday in her country - this was a final red flag for me that she was a 'Holiday Whore' more interested in me paying for her to have a holiday abroad than in any romance. After all, she had her chance to be affectionate and get closer to me but chose not to.

Anyway, hopefully things will go better this time or if not a nice holiday anyway/experience gained. The more I think about it though the more I am looking at a more informal approach as outlined above I think, but it will depend on me getting things arranged in my life to be able to go out there for a reasonable time. I just think the whole dating online concept & FSW dating setup is like trying to wade through a load of sh*t in order to try and get to something decent. As someone said above, women often conceal their intention until it is too late and your committed. For a relative newbie I had no idea that holiday whores would exist, ok I knew some scammers asked blokes to meet them abroad but this was her home country so I thought I was safe. Anyway, that is my outlook at present but who knows I might be successful this time 

[dragonkid]

Regarding the women in Kyiv, you said you are a shy type of guy etc, these girls probably met a few foreign guys, if you went to a small town the women there may be more interested in communicating with foreigners, just because they find it intriguing. I know when i went to yessentuki, i was the only british guy to have visited in the last 10 years according to the people who check your visa, now maybe people don't go to check their visa's, or stay under 7 days. I got a typical londoner accent, which the women love, it is easy for me to talk and charm them, make them laugh, you will need to rely heavily on that if you are in somewhere like Kyiv. Ask yourself are you not afraid of opening to random women? If not go to a small city, speak to all the old timers and see if you can set something up with a nice woman.