How does anyone know who they maybe attracted to on Online Dating Sites?

[Trenchcoat]

Just seems to be that while I can't tell if there would be chemistry with any of the girls(photos) I message, neither will they have any idea. So hence, I could pass over women and they may pass over me after contacting them or I may be contacted by women where there is no chemistry.

So is this not a deeply flawed way to go about contacting women, particularly adding the fact that on many free online dating websites there are a lot more men, many of whom may be keyboard romeos, hogging women making communicating with women that may have chemistry with you difficult since they don't have the time for any more communication.

Obviously, there are those women I would likely find deeply unattractive/ not up my street but as for the rest who's to tell?

[Gator]

Trenchcoat, it is very simple.  It is all about your feelings.    If you are not feeling anything good, go to the next woman.  If you are feeling something good, keep talking to discover if it gets even better.   It's that simple. 

If a woman does not respond to you, she didn't have good feelings about you.  It has nothing to do with other men.  I imagine this may happen frequently with you because you come across in your posts as being inexperienced and nervous around women.

I believe I suggested before that you ask the intelligent girlfriends/wives of your friends to let you practice with them.  My stepson practiced talking with my son's girlfriend, and she gave him many pointers.  This requires that you first acknowledge you are having problems and need some help.   True friends will want to help you. 

[BillyB]

So is this not a deeply flawed way to go about contacting women, particularly adding the fact that on many free online dating websites there are a lot more men, many of whom may be keyboard romeos, hogging women making communicating with women that may have chemistry with you difficult since they don't have the time for any more communication.

Keyboard romeos and sex tourists ruin the experience for many men and women. Women become jaded and turned off. Some quality women leave the international dating scene after a few days worth of bad experiences.

Figure out how to get the attention of women. Figure out how to give them the impression you're serious without giving the impression you're desperate. Communicate with them on Skype, phone or other means often before committing to a visit. Based off the tone of their voice, you should know if they're interested in you or not and to what degree. What type of work do you do? Salesman? If so and you know how to gauge the interest of customers in a product based off their facial expressions and tone of voice, you'll have an easier time figuring out women.

[2tallbill]

Obviously, there are those women I would likely find deeply unattractive/ not up my street but as for the rest who's to tell?

I have a suggestion. It's a good idea for someone in your situation so
you will probably ignore it. Here it is.

1. Call/write Milla from Kharkov http://www.mila-interpreter.com/Welcome

2. Buy a ticket to Kharkov Ukraine

3. Rent an apartment in Kharkov

4. Write 150 girls who live in Kharkov on Mamba asking them to meet for
tea. Have Mila help you set the appointments so that

5. Meet the girls have Mila translate if necessary or just listen if not
introduce her as your guide/language teacher.

6. Come up with a sign/code/signal so that she can tell you if the girl likes
you or not. If she is unsure then have her choose not. She is a woman
and infinitely more perceptive about such things than you will ever be.
She also has a BS detector and can smell out a BS girl in minutes.

7. If you like the girl then look at Milla for the sign. No sign? then say
thank you to the girl and wait for your next meeting. IF you get the
sign and you really like the girl then you immediately try to spend the
rest of your trip pursuing this girl. If she can't make time for you then
she isn't the girl for you, dump her and move on.

8. Rinse and repeat until you found your match.

Use Milla as your thermometer on the relationship. She will keep you
out of trouble and nobody could scam you with Milla by your side so
you can spend your time worrying about something else. Lastly if asked
she will give you a little bit of coaching on how you did.

[2tallbill]

whoops double post

[Noch1]

I agree with Bill and if you don't want to do that, hire a professional wingman.
They are not cheap, but perfect for guys like you.
Anyone know, Does Edward still do this?

[BillyB]

Anyone know, Does Edward still do this?

Edward still does it and he posted not too long ago. Business is good for him right now. Hopefully Trenchcoat gains the ability to sniff out BS without hired help but if he feels it's still a weakness, then he should consider hiring help so he doesn't end up a woman that gives him hell.

[alex330]

Churn and burn on the dating sites. Talk to as many as possible, drop them if something seems off or they say something that does not jive with you. Narrow it down, strap on your boots and jump.



I would hire a local wingwoman/terp. Probably more intuitive than a man and much cheaper. Have her vet the girls and set a few dates up for you. The women will feel more comfortable speaking with a female terp as well.


Bill basically laid it out for you... thats a $20 Ebook right there.

[Trenchcoat]

I have a suggestion. It's a good idea for someone in your situation so
you will probably ignore it. Here it is.

1. Call/write Milla from Kharkov http://www.mila-interpreter.com/Welcome

2. Buy a ticket to Kharkov Ukraine

3. Rent an apartment in Kharkov

4. Write 150 girls who live in Kharkov on Mamba asking them to meet for
tea. Have Mila help you set the appointments so that

5. Meet the girls have Mila translate if necessary or just listen if not
introduce her as your guide/language teacher.

6. Come up with a sign/code/signal so that she can tell you if the girl likes
you or not. If she is unsure then have her choose not. She is a woman
and infinitely more perceptive about such things than you will ever be.
She also has a BS detector and can smell out a BS girl in minutes.

7. If you like the girl then look at Milla for the sign. No sign? then say
thank you to the girl and wait for your next meeting. IF you get the
sign and you really like the girl then you immediately try to spend the
rest of your trip pursuing this girl. If she can't make time for you then
she isn't the girl for you, dump her and move on.

8. Rinse and repeat until you found your match.

Use Milla as your thermometer on the relationship. She will keep you
out of trouble and nobody could scam you with Milla by your side so
you can spend your time worrying about something else. Lastly if asked
she will give you a little bit of coaching on how you did.

That definitely sounds a worthy idea 2tallbill, I've looked up Mila on the given link and her prices seem reasonable. I know someone said she is a caring person here before, so if she is a good person then that is what I need. There are a lot of people out for a feed in this game who can be more of a detriment to finding someone than anything so decent people are much needed.

If there is a sound reason to visit Kharkiv and its not too dangerous a journey then I am willing. If she does indeed have contacts to decent women this can also be good. The situation remain either way about chemistry of course, I can tell this well enough just the first girl was kind of a weird one, I'm pretty sure I've never encountered one like her before.

Well, St. Petersburg was my intended destination (don't suppose you know anyone there also like Mila?) but this has kind of thrown me. In truth I always thought if I went out to SPB for a month say but wasn't taken by it/the women then flight to Moscow then if same there flight to Ukraine on the cards. In truth though I will have to think of how to tackle this, maybe Kharkiv first then if no joy up to Moscow or SPB.

I can't go immediately of course, I need say another three months or so to work, get time off work & prepare. I am working on the preparation at the moment, stuff that I hope will assist me and stand me in good stead. I am definitely interested in following up what you suggest though you may be surprised to hear so many thanks, I really do appreciate your input here. 

[Trenchcoat]

I agree with Bill and if you don't want to do that, hire a professional wingman.
They are not cheap, but perfect for guys like you.
Anyone know, Does Edward still do this?

He ain't cheap apparently someone reckoned about $20k or something like that, but cannot be sure. In any case any sort of money in this direction is not what I would be willing to pay. I'm not bad at smelling BS, I've worked in security in the past so got a bit of an idea. Still some people are more sly than the majority and aren't always obvious so a person that is local and genuine can be good perhaps.

[Trenchcoat]

Just seems to be that while I can't tell if there would be chemistry with any of the girls(photos) I message, neither will they have any idea. So hence, I could pass over women and they may pass over me after contacting them or I may be contacted by women where there is no chemistry.

So is this not a deeply flawed way to go about contacting women, particularly adding the fact that on many free online dating websites there are a lot more men, many of whom may be keyboard romeos, hogging women making communicating with women that may have chemistry with you difficult since they don't have the time for any more communication.

Obviously, there are those women I would likely find deeply unattractive/ not up my street but as for the rest who's to tell?

To quote myself this is an example of what I meant a recent article on EM website:

http://blogs.elenasmodels.com/en/meant-to-be-together/

I assume its all upfront, but in any case no doubt happens a fair bit I would have thought, girls or guys click on No to someone they actually have chemistry with and get on with, but how could you tell from just a picture, perhaps even a skype?

[GuppyCaptain]

Mila in Kharkiv is not a bad suggestion. She's reasonably priced, can introduce you to women she knows (for a fee of course) and is a good coach. Trench, I'd strongly consider it if I were you. PM me if you need help/advice with Kharkiv. In the last year I've visited three times.

Kharkiv is a different type of pond to be fishing in than Moskva or St. Pete. Better in some ways and perhaps not in others. Just keep that in mind.

[Boethius]

1. Call/write Milla from Kharkov

2. Buy a ticket to Kharkov Ukraine

Use Milla as your thermometer on the relationship. She will keep you
out of trouble and nobody could scam you with Milla by your side so
you can spend your time worrying about something else. Lastly if asked
she will give you a little bit of coaching on how you did.

It is Kharkiv, Ukraine.


I think using a third party as a "thermometer" is a sort of dubious strategy.  I understand why you are suggesting this, but I think if a man can't determine this himself, he has no business looking abroad. 


Kharkiv is not on the "front line" of the war.

[2tallbill]

It is Kharkiv, Ukraine.

I think it's the vodka that is responsible for my confused spelling 

I think using a third party as a "thermometer" is a sort of dubious strategy.  I understand why you are suggesting this, but I think if a man can't determine this himself, he has no business looking abroad. 

You are probably right and foreign woman is a challenge and definitely not for
everyone. When somebody is determined to try anyway, I usually try to give them
the best advice I can on how to proceed. He's made a couple of trips now and seems
determined. Maybe with a little help/coaching he will be ready to get the training wheels
off his bike, or he might even find a good match for him with some savvy local advice.
 
I trust my own instincts and ability to read people, even so, I used Stirlitz and Pavel
as guides and translators on my first trips to the FSU. After a few trips I decided that
I didn't need them. I continually reevaluated my strategy and tactics striving to
improve and to succeed where I had failed before.

Kharkiv is not on the "front line" of the war.

Agreed, I wouldn't hesitate to travel there.

[ML]

It is Kharkiv, Ukraine.

Along with Kyiv  (not Kiev)
Doesn't matter that airlines, news stories, etc., wrongly spell it Kiev . . . it is still Kyiv as decreed by Ukraine government.
Odesa (not Odessa)
Lviv  (not Lvov)

And above all UKRAINE . . . not the Ukraine.