Taking photos of your house!

[GatoMoon]

I made a correspondence to a Russian lady with a 10 years old daughter.  She seems nice woman, asking me some important questions.  We exchange few phtos via whatapps.   On her last question, she asked me to send her photo of my house!!!  I thought it was an unsual question.   I told her that I don't have it at the moment.  I will do that later.   To be honest, I live in a block of apartment.   

Ever receive that sort of question?

[Nightwish]

I get asked that all the time, and why not? Ofc she is interested to see how you live, where you live, the surrounding area.. from inside to see how neat you are, what kind of living area you have, where you hide your porn, and so on ..
nothing unusual at all..

[Trenchcoat]

I made a correspondence to a Russian lady with a 10 years old daughter.  She seems nice woman, asking me some important questions.  We exchange few phtos via whatapps.   On her last question, she asked me to send her photo of my house!!!  I thought it was an unsual question.   I told her that I don't have it at the moment.  I will do that later.   To be honest, I live in a block of apartment.   

Ever receive that sort of question?

GatoMoon, if you have done 4-10 trips already to FSU then surely you have come across that question before?

A girl when I first started this search back around Christmas time on EM ended up asking me this question. She was from Uzbekistan, around Tashkent, anyway she had been sending me some real long info on her region, its history etc and her emails went into some info about herself and her life. She had a young son, I guess about 6-10 yr old. Well, after a few of these letters she asked where I lived, I live in a nice chalet bungalow in a nice area, pretty enough looking, nice garden & backing onto a park. I had already told her the rough area I lived, i.e nearest town. I thought to myself 'well, if I send in this photo of where I live how do I know she won't just be into me for the money & take me for all its worth'. She has a kid and apparently her mother (or step mother) who apparently lives in UK told her to go on EM as that's how she met someone in the UK which is apparently where she now lives so suggested to her daughter (or step daughter) who I was in communication to she might do the same. This had already raised my alert status but she told me straight up so I thought I wouldn't drop her just then & see where it goes - she might just want to get with me to get her & her kid into UK.

So anyway, I decided to send a picture of a council house near the town I had told her I was from, a bit run down looking and said I didn't own it but rented part of it as a flat as more convenient as didn't need to own a place as a single guy but had the mean to buy a place should I wish. Following this letter, she started asking lots of questions about my income, about would I buy a place in the near future/person I met. At this point I thought to myself this is too risky for me, there is a high chance she may just use me to get her & her child in the country so he can get good education, etc, once married take me for all its worth on the house and possibly get myself slapped with CSA even thought the kid is not mine since I think there was a thing a while back that if you marry a woman with a kid & they end up living with you, you are seen as having taken on the responsibility for that child even though they are not yours.

Looking back I think I did the right thing, she was no doubt desperate to get the hell out of there and go for any guy. For me there are less riskier options around on the face of it at least, for sure she may have been fine but the indicators were a worrying sign. Plus I'm not sure that I would want to take on the responsibility of a kid from the get go. So I never bothered to Email her back, she never followed up my lack off Email back - might have had a bit off a process going messaging guy on the long history of her area to show her interest.

To conclude, I would generally hold off sending any photo of where I live but if you live in a less than affluent building then it may be a plus. Any gold digger would be sent packing. That said a girl who might work out for you might be worried over the accommodation who might otherwise be accepting of it once she got to know you. Perhaps just say you only wish to go into showing her a photo once you get to know each other as its the person you want to get to know.

For me this is what I would do I think as I want to see if there is real chemistry there, not some girl faking it as she's into what she can get and me then wanting to believe in a relationship but it not be real.

[Miquel Westano]

GatoMoon, if you have done 4-10 trips already to FSU then surely you have come across that question before?

daughter) who I was in communication to she might do the same. This had already raised my alert status but she told me straight up so I thought I wouldn't drop her just then & see where it goes - she might just want to get with me to get her & her kid into UK.

snipped for space

To conclude, I would generally hold off sending any photo of where I live but if you live in a less than affluent building then it may be a plus. Any gold digger would be sent packing. That said a girl who might

I see this completely differently.  Any woman, especially with a child, considering moving half way around the world should do a lot of research.  She should know if you have a home, whether that home is the one you said, whether you are soon at risk of eviction and whether your lifestyle is acceptable to her.

I would hold nothing back, and expect complete disclosure on anything I asked.  She has not only her safety at stake but her child's.  In addition why move to give her child a lower quality of life?

I understand there is always some risk of a woman just being interested in improving her financial stake.  But there are also lots of cases I have read about where men said they owned homes then had to admit they lived in mom's basement, a rental apartment or some horribly dangerous neighborhood.

Maybe I am too naïve'?  But, I would have no issues sending pics of my home to a girl I was trying to convince to leave her life and start a new one with me.  I also would never bring a woman over who did not invite me to her home town and introduce me to friends and family.  That just seems like common sense to me.

[Boethius]

It is not unusual, but it does mean she is more interested in the lifestyle than the man.  Decide whether wanting you for your wallet, rather than who you are, is important to you.

[Gator]

I made a correspondence to a Russian lady with a 10 years old daughter.  She seems nice woman, asking me some important questions.  We exchange few phtos via whatapps.   On her last question, she asked me to send her photo of my house!!!  I thought it was an unsual question.   I told her that I don't have it at the moment.  I will do that later.   To be honest, I live in a block of apartment.   

Ever receive that sort of question?

Never. 

Some men mistakenly take the lead and send a photo of their house, car, etc.  Such should not be shown until the 2nd or 3rd date.

Now that she has asked, you can send her a photo of your kitchen and living room, your neighborhood, your city, and the apartment building from afar.

[BillyB]

   I told her that I don't have it at the moment.  I will do that later.   To be honest, I live in a block of apartment.   

You told her you don't have a house or have a photo of a house? Tell her the truth you live in an apartment. She has to accept your living conditions now. Don't go visit her only to have her accuse you of misleading her.

BTW, based on your new avatar, you need to get a haircut.

[Larry1]

I took my laptop around my place and gave a tour on skype to a girl I was going to visit on a WOVO trip. After we were dating she did a Google Earth search on my house. I then sent her a better picture of the exterior, along with photos of my neighborhood, a nearby park, etc.

[Trenchcoat]

Some men mistakenly take the lead and send a photo of their house, car, etc.  Such should not be shown until the 2nd or 3rd date.

Totally agree with this GatoMoon. I would not show beforehand either keeping to my above explanation, you've not misled her if you simply stated that you wish to know each other as a person. If she turns out to be into you then it shouldn't matter too much where you live. Until you go see her OP you won't know if there is chemistry in which case you'll be asking her to judge you based on what you show her if she wants to continue communicating with you. Showing her now you are showing her your cards too early, hold back and it will be a point of intrigue for her, making you mysterious looking which apparently women like rather than telling all and becoming boring to her.

[vwrw]

I made a correspondence to a Russian lady with a 10 years old daughter.  She seems nice woman, asking me some important questions.  We exchange few phtos via whatapps.   On her last question, she asked me to send her photo of my house!!!  I thought it was an unsual question.   I told her that I don't have it at the moment.  I will do that later.   To be honest, I live in a block of apartment.   

Ever receive that sort of question?

Do not forget that you speak with a woman for whom English is second language.  She probably was curious to see where you live and the word - house - came to her mind first. I would send her a pic of your apartment. Your being secretive could make her suspicious that something may be wrong. Why question about home is a big deal? If you date locally, do you walk for the date, so the woman do not see what you drive? Probably not. Let's assume the date went well, would  you take the woman to a hotel so she does not see where you live? Probably not. Therefore, you do not make a secrete of what car you have and how your home looks like when you date locally, why this info needs to be hidden if you date internationally?

[Patagonie]

You have to give some photos of where you live, that's not necessary a question of assessing your style life (it could be  ).
There are two possibilities:
you don't worry about your fortune because you are a middle class worker.
So just shoot inside of your home, that's the most important for the lady and tell her how many rooms do you have, if you have a garden, things like this.
If you are well off or more, you should never send a photo of the outside and if it's a big home you have to only send some photos showing part of the surface, some rooms (not all) and a little part of your park. And of course no numerals (no numerals about how many rooms, garages, total surface). And NO photos of your 80000$ car and other shit like this (boats, planes and so on)

In both cases it will work to pull away the gold diggers.

[alex330]

I had one woman who asked to see pictures of my house (and a few other strange questions and requests). Our first meeting on Skype. She would not answer any of my questions and was quite secretive herself. I found it very weird and moved on quickly.


Later in the relationship and once you are progressing of course you want to share your life with someone who may be moving over.


I brought my wife over to a house missing the kitchen and drywall in some of the rooms. She helped me finish painting it in her high heels.

[ML]

I always sent pics of Biltmore; and then added that my house was something like it . . . with respect to it had a kitchen, some bedrooms and bathrooms.

[tfcrew]

Also send a photo standing between 'your' Jaguar & 'your' Bentley

[odba]

Are FSUW unimpressed with rentals? Before divorce I owned a 4400 sq ft home and I felt for a long time it was too much space. Living in NJ at that time the property taxes were $22K/yr. Obscene to say the least. I live in an apartment now. It is one of those luxury apartment buildings with steel & concrete construction. I don't hear a thing from neighbors or their dogs. Loving it. Happy I don't pay the filthy monthly payment as former homeowner. Saves me nearly 3K per month. 

[ML]

Happy I don't pay the filthy monthly payment as former homeowner. Saves me nearly 3K per month.

No actually it is probably costing you 3K per month in lost build-up of equity from the principal part of the payment and the increase in value of virtually all real estate.

And don't kid yourself that you aren't also paying the property taxes on any rental.

[Larry1]

Are FSUW unimpressed with rentals? Before divorce I owned a 4400 sq ft home and I felt for a long time it was too much space. Living in NJ at that time the property taxes were $22K/yr. Obscene to say the least.

I realize this isn't really responsive to your question, but in my experience most fsuw do not have a good understanding of finances in the West.  Few of them, for instance, understand the level of taxation many people here bear.  Your $22K annual property tax bill is a good example of this. I believe this is because they don't face such levels of taxation in their countries.

I don't think fsuw have much understanding of the amount that upper-middle class guys here often pay in alimony, child support, and similar expenses.

We may share our salary with a girl we are planning to bring here and marry. But without sharing our expenses she may well anticipate a more financially secure lifestyle than we are actually able to provide.

[odba]

No actually it is probably costing you 3K per month in lost build-up of equity from the principal part of the payment and the increase in value of virtually all real estate.

And don't kid yourself that you aren't also paying the property taxes on any rental.

Well, this isn't early 2000s. My home was worth about 1.1 mil in 2007 before housing market crash. I sold it in January of this year for 840K after nearly 5 months on the market. According to zillow.com, my former home is now valued at 846K. Home values don't always increase. Perhaps it is different in some locales but not where i was living. I went from a monthly payment of 4460 to 1510. I am loving that and don't care if part of that 1510 goes to property taxes, and not losing sleep over uncertain lost equity increases. I would rather save nearly 36K.

[Slumba]

No actually it is probably costing you 3K per month in lost build-up of equity from the principal part of the payment and the increase in value of virtually all real estate.

And don't kid yourself that you aren't also paying the property taxes on any rental.

Well, if he has an extra $3K per month he can save it and invest in something else.  Many people are leaving NJ for the somewhat saner tax jurisdiction of PA. 

Look at the demographics - housing could well be flat for the next 20 years in certain areas of the country.

[alex330]

Are FSUW unimpressed with rentals?

Most I have met with think it a foolish way to spend money. But then again their jaws drop when you tell them how a 30 year mortgage works. They have a heart attack when they hear the interest paid.

[odba]

Most I have met with think it a foolish way to spend money. But then again their jaws drop when you tell them how a 30 year mortgage works. They have a heart attack when they hear the interest paid.

So, what do they do for homes in their countries? They own homes/apartments? How do they afford owning?

[GatoMoon]

BTW, based on your new avatar, you need to get a haircut.

lol not a picture of me..... it was from atavar 'model'  lol

[GatoMoon]

Our first meeting on Skype. She would not answer any of my questions and was quite secretive herself. I found it very weird and moved on quickly.

I would move on when they wouldn't answer any of my questions too.  Simply, I do not like secretive people.     She has asked me for my complete name but she did not give me hers!!!

[GatoMoon]

To conclude, I would generally hold off sending any photo of where I live but if you live in a less than affluent building then it may be a plus. Any gold digger would be sent packing.

My thought exactly.....  I live in a block of flat..... paid all in cash and now I own it.   It is one-bed-roomed flat.  I like living in a small apartment because I am single and it has less cleaning job     Things will change once I meet a lady.

[ML]

So, what do they do for homes in their countries? They own homes/apartments? How do they afford owning?

Most FSUW pay cash for the apartments they buy.

Where do they get the cash ?

Mostly by saving; getting half the proceeds from sale of property jointly owned with ex-spouse; borrowing from family; borrowing from friends; buying apt badly in need of repair, fixing it up with help of family and friends, reselling for profit, repeat a few times moving up in quality and location, if possible, etc., etc.

I know one gal in Kyiv who had bought three Khrushchyovka apts in 2002 at time when such one room apts badly in need of updating could be had for $3-7,000. Borrowed money from everyone she knew. She, with help of everyone she knew, fixed up one and sold it for $12,000.  She used the money to fix up the other two really nicely, lived in one and rented out the other and paid back all borrowed money.  In 2008 just before crash, these two apts had market value of $70-80,000 each.  She sold one before the crash (she didn't really predict the crash; just got nervous when the prices were so sky high thinking something must be crazy) and continues to live in the 3rd which now has a market value of around $40-50,000.