Finding a Girl in your subject area? Is it best?

[Trenchcoat]

I can actually fly to Novosibirsk with just one stop in east or south-east Asia (for a cost of $1,200 US return)

That would be too much for my purse strings   Well, I've looked on Skyscanner and the good news is from the UK is just £376 for the flight or so, so not too bad at all, far cheaper than I would have thought it would be for all that distance, don't know how they do it at that price. Its Aeroflot so perhaps the currency difference helps. Its a 10-15 hour flight with one change over which is a bit of a bummer but could be worse. So you may have a bit of a point, Ill bear in mind more far flung places after my upcoming Moscow, St. Petersburg trip I think.

[BillyB]

If you think the price of your plane ticket is expensive, wait till you fly the girl home and have to support her everyday. Trench, you need to lay out a long term game plan. If your financial situation can't take you to the finish line, you need to play another game or take up a second job.

[Ludmila]

Trenchcoat, look, it 's pretty obvious even here within this format of virtual communication : you're a poor communicator. I took my time and gave you a good piece  of advice. It never even occurred to you to at least say ''thank you" to  the lady, let alone write something in reply.... BTW, a refined lady/the surrounding people  will not only pay attention to the way you communicate with her/them but how you communicate with other people ( it may be taking place in her head on a sub-conscious level).

[Trenchcoat]

Trenchcoat, look, it 's pretty obvious even here within this format of virtual communication : you're a poor communicator. I took my time and gave you a good piece  of advice. It never even occurred to you to at least say ''thank you" to  the lady, let alone write something in reply.... BTW, a refined lady/the surrounding people  will not only pay attention to the way you communicate with her/them but how you communicate with other people ( it may be taking place in her head on a sub-conscious level).

Hey, you're in the west now babe Sorry I didn't reply but when one uses such terms as 'interlocutor' it leaves one scratching one's head. I've never seen that word used in all my time on this planet let alone spoken, lol. Just looked it up now, you mean conversationalist or similar. No seriously though I don't always get the time to reply to everyone's post, I read it, in truth I probably respond to everyone's post I would be rather dominating the discussion board. I probably post more than most here anyway an often as the other members will testify I do thank them when I see that I get good advice. This can be seen on this board and elsewhere. So thank you for your advice It was handy knowing from a woman's perspective from the FSU I presume what may be the way to go on Architecture discussion. To be honest its not that I wouldn't think of this, say stuff like this. I think some on here have taken it a bit far when I say I'm not socially skilled. What I mean is that I don't energize the room with my presence, not that I can't hold a conversation full stop or just bore to sleep anyone I do. I mean some people are very high energy in their conversations/interactions by the way they naturally are, I'm not. They will quickly outshine me, perhaps things are different in the FSU and people are less full on there. I know theatre, opera, orchestra are big out there and here less so as its seen as slower pace, so perhaps the same goes for presence/conversation too. Even in the UK which is traditionally a manners based culture, people really want to hear from someone that is a high energy conversationalist, offence is rarely taken if they forget their Pleases and Thank You's. In the US I'm pretty sure its even more that way.

So yes that is what I am getting at, at least in part when I say its a different dating environment in the UK to the FSU. From what I see in the FSU, women favour much different values. They repeatedly ask for someone, find, considerate, gentleman, as you yourself stated. Here that is almost unheard off, if a girl tells you your kind and a gentleman here (probably US too) 9 out of 10 times it will be on her way to giving you the knock back/dumped That is not what a guy dating in the weest wants to hear as he knows things are not looking good. In the FSU, girls seem to look for a provider they are perhaps less concerned about whether he is 'cock of the week' (high energy socialiser) why? I presume as a guy who is good with his mouth is no good unless he can provide also - being able to provide as paramount importance where economic life is hard. In the UK, girls are often materialistic but many are also interested in guys who are extrovert and thereby good entertainment/fun for them - rarely are they worried about where the nest packet of peas are going to come from even if their not that wealthy they are not that poor.     

[JayH]

If you think the price of your plane ticket is expensive, wait till you fly the girl home and have to support her everyday. Trench, you need to lay out a long term game plan. If your financial situation can't take you to the finish line, you need to play another game or take up a second job.

One by one you guys start getting it!  What you have to remember is this guy has plans for the new "missus" to be earning her keep and out working to pay her way into his "life" at day 1  !!

Here is a suggestion for the tightarse!
Iceland will pay 5,000 euros per month for immigrants, who took a wife of Icelandic women

In Iceland, the catastrophic demographic situation - women are almost two times more than men. Realizing that such rates will soon turn the island into the realm of the Amazons, the Icelandic government has decided to pay 5,000 euros to each immigrant, who will take a local girl for a wife.
http://worldi.ru/islandiya-budet-platit-5000-evro-v-mesyats-immigrantam-vzyavshim-v-zheny-islandskih-devushek/

[Trenchcoat]

If you think the price of your plane ticket is expensive, wait till you fly the girl home and have to support her everyday. Trench, you need to lay out a long term game plan. If your financial situation can't take you to the finish line, you need to play another game or take up a second job.

Hi Billy, so to avoid upsetting Ludmila let me first, THANK YOU FOR YOUR ADVICE

For sure I have the money, but of course if I keep flying here and there I won't be in as great financial shape. As you and I know there are guys that start of on this journey and within a short time are economically spent. Thousands of pounds/dollars down perhaps much of it of PPL, Tours, and trip abroad they have no other choice than to give up. I'm just being cautious. I think someone did a survey on here recently of the sort of salary/income people looking for a FSW had and most of it was pretty mediocre. Compared to Russia and particularly the Ukraine though, this is a lot of money, granted if she is living here then it will be somewhat the same in reality. If that income is able to still be generated while out there then its abig deal if that person is happy living in the FSU. End of the day we are told countless times these women want a family/children first and foremost hence as long as you have reasonable income that's usually suffices. I even had one lady from FSU but Chinese looking interested in dating a guy from the UK as she like the benefits/welfare state system, since you can live of it here where you can't in the FSU, I naturally passed over her. 

[Trenchcoat]

One by one you guys start getting it!  What you have to remember is this guy has plans for the new "missus" to be earning her keep and out working to pay her way into his "life" at day 1  !!

Here is a suggestion for the tightarse!
Iceland will pay 5,000 euros per month for immigrants, who took a wife of Icelandic women

In Iceland, the catastrophic demographic situation - women are almost two times more than men. Realizing that such rates will soon turn the island into the realm of the Amazons, the Icelandic government has decided to pay 5,000 euros to each immigrant, who will take a local girl for a wife.
http://worldi.ru/islandiya-budet-platit-5000-evro-v-mesyats-immigrantam-vzyavshim-v-zheny-islandskih-devushek/

According to Wikipedia, Iceland has the same number of males to females, less than the perhaps.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_sex_ratio

I think you're taken in by too much sensationalist tabloid news JayH

[msmob]

I think you're taken in by too much sensationalist tabloid news JayH

You just realised ?

[HoundDaddyLee]

One by one you guys start getting it!  What you have to remember is this guy has plans for the new "missus" to be earning her keep and out working to pay her way into his "life" at day 1  !!

Here is a suggestion for the tightarse!
Iceland will pay 5,000 euros per month for immigrants, who took a wife of Icelandic women

In Iceland, the catastrophic demographic situation - women are almost two times more than men. Realizing that such rates will soon turn the island into the realm of the Amazons, the Icelandic government has decided to pay 5,000 euros to each immigrant, who will take a local girl for a wife.
http://worldi.ru/islandiya-budet-platit-5000-evro-v-mesyats-immigrantam-vzyavshim-v-zheny-islandskih-devushek/

If this is true (I doubt it is) it appears to be a one time 5000 euro payment not 5000 euro/month.


HDL

[Gator]

According to Wikipedia, Iceland has the same number of males to females, less than the perhaps.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_sex_ratio

I think you're taken in by too much sensationalist tabloid news JayH

    

I am in shock - JayH takes sensational headlines too seriously. 

Love it.  The victim putting the bully in his place.

Trenchcoat - Your symptoms indicate you still have a case of tightwadcosis.

       -  If you have limited financial resources, this venture will be very difficult because of the many unexpected expenses after marriage.

       -  If you earn a comfortable income, learn to:
                    -  enjoy spending while dating,
                    -  distinguish between a woman feeling entitled to a man's money and a woman who appreciates customary attentiveness from her man. 

[JayH]

If this is true (I doubt it is) it appears to be a one time 5000 euro payment not 5000 euro/month.


HDL

I have just converted to Muslim   and  put in 4 applications  to take a few  -- 

[msmob]

Am I the only poster to notice when a JayH ill-researched copy and paste gets busted, he'll make some sort of 'joke' and avoid saying, "Yup, I should have been more careful with my sources"

JayH

you are your own worst enemy in getting your points across..as the (all too frequent ) howlers get more attention

[Gator]

Am I the only poster to notice when a JayH ill-researched copy and paste gets busted, he'll make some sort of 'joke' and avoid saying, "Yup, I should have been more careful with my sources"

That attitude also bothers me.  JayH is not the only one here. 

Recruitment by successful businesses usually eliminate people who can never admit they are wrong.   Some very intelligent people have had their careers stunted because of this - it affects teamwork. 

What bothers me is Trump has shown signs of the same.   

[LAman]

What bothers me is Trump has shown signs of the same.   

WRONG, WRONG, wrong, wrong, wrong........

[msmob]

WRONG, WRONG, wrong, wrong, wrong........

Some folks can't / won't see ..?

You didn't bother to back up your opinion, but I will..

His comments re the judiciary - unwise - at best - foolish, really.

[2tallbill]

My impression (no facts to support it) is that Trench may be aiming too high.

This post is for guys who are new to this process rather than for Trench
because I doubt that he would follow my advice.

My impression from afar was that Trench was pushing the envelope a bit
too much. All I know about Trench is what I've read here at the forum.
A knowledgeable forum member can give him advice but then he gets
the wrong message from it.

He won't pay the bucks to hire an expert like Eduard which in my opinion
would be his best option for success. Eduard has an FSUW BS detector that
could keep him safe from shenanigans while sifting through the vast numbers
of girls that he would need to go through in order to find a girl that is hot enough
AND who is still a good girl AND has genuine interest in him.

In my opinion he will spend more money and time ineffectively pursuing girls
slightly out of his league than he would by biting the bullet and hiring somebody
with the knowledge and skills to help him do it. My estimate is that three trips
would pay for one Eduard trip but the time and energy saved would be substantial.   

That's my two kopecks on the subject.

[2tallbill]

Trenchcoat, look, it 's pretty obvious even here within this format of virtual communication : you're a poor communicator. I took my time and gave you a good piece  of advice. It never even occurred to you to at least say ''thank you" to  the lady, let alone write something in reply.... BTW, a refined lady/the surrounding people  will not only pay attention to the way you communicate with her/them but how you communicate with other people ( it may be taking place in her head on a sub-conscious level).

+1

[2tallbill]

Regarding the Concept: Should you find a girl in the same profession?

Might you have similar interests and make a connection on a more personal level?
What about complimentary professions? Say you are an architect but she's an interior
designer? Or you own a company selling insurance and she is an office manager?

These are interesting questions, I never really investigated them during my search.
I knew there were some professions that I wasn't compatible with. 100% who said
they were artists were not 2tallbill material, so I avoided them.

What about common interests?
Are you an avid reader? love to fish? camp? hike? scuba? jet ski? cook?

What about a gal who had some of the same or complimentary interests?

This thread could be really interesting if guys explored some of the possibilities rather
than talk about Trump/STD's etc.

That's my two kopecks at least.

[Boethius]

I don't think common interests matter much.  What does matter is common values.

[krimster2]

having SOME commonality is important, based on my experience I don’t think having professional commonality in the long term would be important. professional commonality might be a kind of facilitator to kick-start the relationship, but after that, its importance will fade.

as Bo’ has pointed out common values are essential.  in my relationship the common values we share is love for our family and the mutual goal of fostering and nurturing this family, and the home we’ve all helped to create for each other.

if one person seeks instant gratification and needs to constantly buy things to feed that, but the other partner seeks delayed gratification, saving for a home, etc, well obviously this will lead to a conflict.  so you need to first understand what you want, and then to understand what your partner wants and see if they fit.  some people never developed a sense of caring towards others, and are instead focused on their own gratification, the relationship can develop where one partner gratifies the other and is gratified in return, a kind of quid-pro-quo, sex for money kind of thing, with no real emotional commitment other than seeking gratification.  relationships like that usually fail eventually when one partner develops the perception that they are putting more into the relationship than the other and this fuels a growing resentment, I’ve seen that happen to someone on this board and it led to a divorce. 

I also think your characters have to be in sync, trust and honesty are hugely important, mistrust and dishonesty are pure poison to a relationship, so understand your partner (and yourself) so that there is ONLY trust and honesty

understand what you want from a relationship, it’s about more than just sex, some men deep down want to be mothered, and some women want a father figure, and some want as much independence as the relationship will allow

the fact that you’re from one language and culture and your wife from another can be looked at as a “chasm” some time, so look for the bridges, they’re always there if you seek them out

[Trenchcoat]

This post is for guys who are new to this process rather than for Trench
because I doubt that he would follow my advice.

My impression from afar was that Trench was pushing the envelope a bit
too much. All I know about Trench is what I've read here at the forum.
A knowledgeable forum member can give him advice but then he gets
the wrong message from it.

He won't pay the bucks to hire an expert like Eduard which in my opinion
would be his best option for success. Eduard has an FSUW BS detector that
could keep him safe from shenanigans while sifting through the vast numbers
of girls that he would need to go through in order to find a girl that is hot enough
AND who is still a good girl AND has genuine interest in him.

In my opinion he will spend more money and time ineffectively pursuing girls
slightly out of his league than he would by biting the bullet and hiring somebody
with the knowledge and skills to help him do it. My estimate is that three trips
would pay for one Eduard trip but the time and energy saved would be substantial.   

That's my two kopecks on the subject.

Bill, the guy charges like 25k, I could get way, way more trips in than just a couple for that price, particularly from the UK. I can get introductions and am pretty good now at detecting BS from FSU ladies. Generally the more you find out they have bs you the likelihood is that they will continue that way.

Like someone said on here I would need to be able to stay on a good footing with the girl after anyway. I think some on here overestimate my problem on the social front. I'm not like your stereotypical social ineptness often characterised in Hollywood high school films or anything. I never have been, but neither do I excel on the social front, I'm fine with it but just not great like some people are. We've all got stuff we're weaker on, for some it may be maths but that doesn't mean they can't do any maths sums, i.e are completely useless at it.

Personally if I was going the wingman route I think I would hire out a terp or so (not all at once) and go with the one who seemed open to such an arrangement and seemed to have the right qualities for the job. I get the impression that's how Eduard & Mila got going in this scene anyway. This time around I should have the time for all of this last previous times it was all a bit rushed in the space of a week to realistically put much into play. 

[krimster2]

Trenchcoat
how much time can you spend in Ukraine on one trip?
if it’s at least two weeks, I d really recommend you just go and try to make some intros on your own.  I did this on my first trip before I met my wife, I’d approach women I casually met in the “magazine” “gastranome” etc, and ask for some help, by an odd coincidence each of the women I spoke to was incredibly beautiful!  my question if it was met with a positive response would soon be followed by an invitation for lunch, etc.  on the second day I was doing this I had to stop because I was now dating someone!!  even if this doesn’t work for you, you’ll learn a whole bunch and have some fun!

[Trenchcoat]

Trenchcoat
how much time can you spend in Ukraine on one trip?
if it’s at least two weeks, I d really recommend you just go and try to make some intros on your own.  I did this on my first trip before I met my wife, I’d approach women I casually met in the “magazine” “gastranome” etc, and ask for some help, by an odd coincidence each of the women I spoke to was incredibly beautiful!  my question if it was met with a positive response would soon be followed by an invitation for lunch, etc.  on the second day I was doing this I had to stop because I was now dating someone!!  even if this doesn’t work for you, you’ll learn a whole bunch and have some fun!

This is good advice Krimster, thank you. Yes seeing if you get a real positive response as opposed to everyday, mildly pleasant, etc response sounds like a good reason to act on taking it further rather than doing it as a process with what ever girl is approached I will bear this in mind. I am planning to spend more that two weeks out there this time, hopefully in a couple of months. Even if I do a few days/week with a visit one I will allow time to stay on if I am not assured she is the one. This will mean I could go home after a week or stay longer but am not committed to being out there. Which will avoid the 'go out there, spend a week where I'm confined on what I can do if not all works out' com back with another failed attempt is the way I see it.

[krimster2]

your point is taken
it also helps to learn some language, everyone has their own preferred method, I always do better self taught, start with some common phrases and learn some nouns, adjectives, this will really help you, nothing beats stroking a woman's hair and softly saying "krasivaya" but do this only after you know her a little!

[msmob]

Bill, the guy charges like 25k

TC.. on what are you [also] basing this figure ? !

Personally if I was going the wingman route I think I would hire out a terp or so (not all at once) and go with the one who seemed open to such an arrangement and seemed to have the right qualities for the job. I get the impression that's how Eduard & Mila got going in this scene anyway. This time around I should have the time for all of this last previous times it was all a bit rushed in the space of a week to realistically put much into play.

'Getting impressions', rather than KNOWING, is the sort of careless talk that other folks might read as gospel? ....