Russian for dummies

[TheHorseman]

In the other thread there was a lot of talk about the fact that the men needed to learn at least a little Russian.  I'm a beginner myself at learning, even though I have been poking at it for over two years now.

Given that I am the worlds worst at learning things in the conventionial way I came up with my own way of learning to speak Russian.  (Speak Not Read)  I am sure that someone here will laugh at the way I do things, But I didn't do it for anyone but me.  However it might help some of the other on the board to get started in doing things their own way.  I have quite a list going now and am adding to it everyday.

Ok here is what I do:

Please note that each phrase and each word are written so that they can be pronounced in English.  These are not the actual Russian spellings.  Each word with dashes in them indicates that it is one word.
For example:  Pa-shal-list-taw  Should be said as one word.
Examples:  Yes = Da, and  A little = Nim-No-Gaw. 

So if asked;  Do you speak Russian your answer would be; 
Da  nim-no-gaw. = Yes a little.

Simple words:  Yes = Da,  No = Nyet,  Please = Pa-shal-list-taw, 
Thanks = Spa-see-ba,  Ya = I,  Vay = You.

Many Russian phrases are said in different orders than in English.
For example:  I understand a little Russian.                 
Ya  nim-no-gaw  pawn-knee-myo  pa-ruskie. 
This phrase in Russian actually says:  I a little understand Russian.

Also note that the use of the letter “a” is in the soft sound.

I speak a little Russian                         
Ya  nim-no-gaw  ga-va-ru  pa-ruskie
I      A little          Speak      Russian

I don’t understand
Ya   knee  pawn-knee-myo 

I understand                                       
Ya   pawn-knee  myo
         
Do you understand
Vay  pawn-knee my-etcha

Notice that when saying “I understand” it is different than when you ask if they understand.  Myo when referring to yourself and My-etcha for them.

I read only English                             
Ya  chet  tie-yo  tol-ka  pon-glee-ski

Anyway you get the idea.  This type thing might help if your interested.

[TheHorseman]

Here are a couple more.  I got quite a few laughs by saying "It's not Important"

Repeat it please
Puff-ta  reiga  Pa-shal-list-taw

Tell me please                                   
Skas-reitzy  Pa-shal-list-taw

It is (not) important                             
Eta  (knee)  vash-naw

Not now maybe later                     
Knee  see-chess  mo-zet-baitz  pole-zha

Thank you I don’t want                   
Spa-see-ba  Ya  knee  hi-chew

Two beers please                           
Da-va  pee-va  Pa-shal-list-taw

[Phil dAmore]

Horse:

I highly highly reccomend "The Complete Idiots Guide To Learning Russian"  by Christopher Froehlich. 

Somehow he has managed to take the task of learning Russian, which has a grammar system that is basically completely opposite that of English and make it not only interesting, but actually enjoyable.

I got more out of this book than any of the other texts that I've been struggling with for the past 5 years.

By now it should be in it's second or third edition and most of the errors that were in the first edition will have been corrected.

Of all the texts, tapes, discs, and other study materials I have had, this one has been the most helpful.

Good luck!

[Phil dAmore]

p.s.. just a little jab at ya Horse... somehow I can hear that Okie accent in your transliterations...

[catzenmouse]

p.s.. just a little jab at ya Horse... somehow I can hear that Okie accent in your transliterations...

I was thinking the same thing...

[jb]

Horseman,

In Russian there is no special hard and fast order in which you necessarily have to speak the words.  I have found that I can structure my Russian sentences in about the same order as I would in English and native Russian speakers understand me just fine.  Other than the fact that there are some sounds in Russian that my south Texian tongue was not designed to ever make, I somehow make myself understood.

[Ste]

Crikey Horse I find your phonetic version harder than real Russian!! Hehehe!

I'm with jb here too, I have tendency to phrase Russian in the English subject-verb-object order which isn't always the correct way in Russian. I have great difficulty with the Russian (trying Cyrillic now - never works on Mac) '?' sound, as in '??' for 'we'. I hear it as having a slight 'w' sound, like 'mwee' but Nadia says it doesn't and I sound like a Georgian - hehehe!

She tells me it's like 'i' but further back down the throat. Everytime I try that I'm either gagging on phlegm or sounding like a moron (or even more like a moron than normal)

And that word 'dlya' - 'for' - for some reason i awlays try to pronounce it d-l-ya and it sounds stupid. Should be more like d-la, two syllables which is easier and shorter. The way I do it it's three syllables! Dil-lee-ya!! Same with Nadia's name, her dad takes the piss out of the way I say it with three syllables, Nad-ee-ya, instead of Nad-ya.

Sometimes I'm extremely proud of my progress with this most difficult language, the next i'm totally demoralised cos I get the most simple things wrong!

Ste


   

[jb]

She tells me it's like 'i' but further back down the throat. Everytime I try that I'm either gagging on phlegm or sounding like a moron

With me it's the "chueesh" sound always found in the middle of an already hard word.  I take small comfort in knowing that Russian isn't as gutteral as German, which I believe can only be spoken properly by someone with a severe birth defect or a bad cold.  Phlegm is a definite help in that case.

[Ste]

With me it's the "chueesh" sound always found in the middle of an already hard word.  I take small comfort in knowing that Russian isn't as gutteral as German, which I believe can only be spoken properly by someone with a severe birth defect or a bad cold.  Phlegm is a definite help in that case.

And Welsh.

Except it's not so much gutteral, you have to keep the phlegm floating around under your tongue and make it slurp like Joseph Merrick, The Elephant Man.

Remember Monty Python searching for a derogatory word for the Belgians? They came up with 'The Phlegms' Sorry Bruno....

Ste
 

[Michelangelo]

Speaking of Mac, the best Russian language program I have found is made for the mac and downloads to your iPod.  You can grab one at the apple store for about 25 pounds....

Crikey Horse I find your phonetic version harder than real Russian!! Hehehe!

I'm with jb here too, I have tendency to phrase Russian in the English subject-verb-object order which isn't always the correct way in Russian. I have great difficulty with the Russian (trying Cyrillic now - never works on Mac) '?' sound, as in '??' for 'we'. I hear it as having a slight 'w' sound, like 'mwee' but Nadia says it doesn't and I sound like a Georgian - hehehe!

She tells me it's like 'i' but further back down the throat. Everytime I try that I'm either gagging on phlegm or sounding like a moron (or even more like a moron than normal)

And that word 'dlya' - 'for' - for some reason i awlays try to pronounce it d-l-ya and it sounds stupid. Should be more like d-la, two syllables which is easier and shorter. The way I do it it's three syllables! Dil-lee-ya!! Same with Nadia's name, her dad takes the piss out of the way I say it with three syllables, Nad-ee-ya, instead of Nad-ya.

Sometimes I'm extremely proud of my progress with this most difficult language, the next i'm totally demoralised cos I get the most simple things wrong!

Ste


   

[TheHorseman]

Ok,,, enough about the Okie accent.

I have actually been told that my Russian is pretty good.  And that my accent is a little better than the average American.  I have always had an ear for languages.  It is writing it down that confusses the hell out of me.

Like Ben Franklin.... I want to make my own Dictionary.

I take small comfort in knowing that Russian isn't as gutteral as German, which I believe can only be spoken properly by someone with a severe birth defect or a bad cold.  Phlegm is a definite help in that case.

I had to laugh at that one......  Even when the Germans are being nice there is a tone that sounds insulting. My ex is half German.  Though she doesn't speak it unless she is talking to her family.  Her father would talk about me in German to the family and say things behind my back (or rather right in front of me)

Thanks for the recomendations Phil.  I have been using Pimsluer's Language CD's for a while now. I am about half way through the 30 lesson course. Though I have been lasy about it.  The little Russian gal I have been helping here in Oklahoma hsa been teaching me a few things.  She is s sticklar for saying it right.  I like learning as I go.  I will probably do better is I get over there and need to use it,

I had a bit on my place the other day... if all works out I will be moving over to Oktyabrsky this fall.

[Phil dAmore]

The 'ы'  sound... I probably had more trouble with this than any other.

To me it sounds like the noise one makes after ingesting too much vodka and then needing to ask about a Buick...

Which is exactly how I practiced it.

[TheHorseman]

I KNOW THAT SOUND!

Actually my Russian got a lot better after a bottle of Wodka.... So did my throwing up.   NEVER mix Mexican chile with Russian Vodka.   I made Chile for everyone there.  I brough all the seasoning with me and made the mistake of not bringing the traditional drink that goes with it. Not good. 

[SANDRO43]

Remember Monty Python searching for a derogatory word for the Belgians? They came up with 'The Phlegms' Sorry Bruno....

Zo, yoo are inzulteeng ze Belgians, eh ? And maybee ze French next ? Take zis, yoo Engleesh scum : "I fart in your general direction ! Your mother was a hamster and your father a snape of helleboree". 

[Ste]

Zo, yoo are inzulteeng ze Belgians, eh ? And maybee ze French next ? Take zis, yoo Engleesh scum : "I fart in your general direction ! Your mother was a hamster and your father a snape of helleboree". 

We'd all better learn German, no doubt others have seen zis neu direktiv from ze EU:

European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".



In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

[SANDRO43]

Hura ! I kwet agry, enuf of zis riten nonsens, rul Oiropa on ze wavs, ve shal never be Slavs !!!!

[TheHorseman]

I got in  a lot of trouble with the Greman jokes when I was married.  I told a joke that didn't go over so well with the visitng German family...

The joke was, “How do you say Brazier in German?”   
Since Brazier is German to begin with they didn't understand.
But, the Answer is “Disill Stop’em from Floppen.”

[Ste]

I got in  a lot of trouble with the Greman jokes when I was married.  I told a joke that didn't go over so well with the visitng German family...

The joke was, “How do you say Brazier in German?”   
Since Brazier is German to begin with they didn't understand.
But, the Answer is “Disill Stop’em from Floppen.”

There is a classic ep of UK TV series 'Only Fools and Horses' (horses! handy for you!) where the London lads go to France, scene when something like this:

Del: What's French for 'Duck' Bruv?

Rodney: It's 'canard'

Del: You can say that again, bruv.....

Does anybody get that? Doesn't make sense written down! I'll see if the scene is on Youtube - ho...

Dammit, not there, but here a link to the best prat-fall in TV history...



Ste