Does the ring matter?

[Boethius]

You don't get it.  It's not about materialism.  It is about the lie.   I get the sense that WW didn't want you, not vice versa.

I'm a WW.  I am probably far less materialistic than the average FSUW. 

You have claimed you are being traditional.  I am just pointing the holes in your justification, and the hypocrisy thereof.

As for divorce rates, they are higher in both Ukraine and Russia than in the UK.

[BillyB]

I would be purchasing the ring for the beauty of the ring and how I think it would go with my girl,

If she knew it were Zirconia, I don't think anybody would look at the beauty since she wouldn't wear it. Think of the embarrassment she'd go through if friends or family ask her about the ring. Who gave it to her? Was it a birthday present or engagement ring? It seems your man gave you a high quality diamond based off color and brightness! I don't think the girl would like to go through a Q & A session when wearing the ring so it's going to get parked or pawned.

You know what the reaction of a WW would be if she assumed she'd been given a diamond, and found out it was a cubic zirconia.

Disappointed reaction at a minimum to game over. TV and internet gave people a better understanding of each other's cultures. FSU people know many of the cultures from the West. Trench switching to her culture when convenient will give the impression he's always making the decision to go cheap on his girl. Trench, you can tell everybody your decisions aren't based on saving money but your girl isn't going to buy it.

- the US & UK have the highest divorce rate.

Divorce rate in Russian and Ukraine used to be around 65%. They changed their methods of figuring divorce rate so it instantly dropped by 20%. What to believe?

I still prefer the Zirconia ring that I have seen.

Can't win with Zirconia but you can lose. It's your relationship to strengthen or lose. Hope you come back after presenting Zirconia and tell us the results.

[ML]

I just completed a quick survey.

I went to WalMart and asked 5 different women if they would marry me if I only gave them a zircon ring.
They all said they would marry me without any ring.

[Boethius]

Well that's due to your individual and unique magnetism, ML.  Trench probably doesn't have that. 

[2tallbill]

I just completed a quick survey.

I went to WalMart and asked 5 different women if they would marry me if I only
gave them a zircon ring.They all said they would marry me without any ring.

They are only human, how could they resist?

[Boethius]

That is why I don't want a Western Woman I don't want a woman that is more interested in materialism than in me its a path to disaster if you ask me and why so many marriages fail in the west -

I have another comment on this.  How I understand what you are saying is that you want a woman solely on your terms, and because she comes from a poor country, she should be grateful for whatever you throw her way.

[Nightwish]

I have another comment on this.  How I understand what you are saying is that you want a woman solely on your terms, and because she comes from a poor country, she should be grateful for whatever you throw her way.

BINGO
Now the penny dropped for you to..

[tfcrew]

 Here is a nice ring... size 6, unique, all genuine rocks/gold quite affordable/1 yr guarantee from California

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Ornate-10K-Yellow-Gold-Garnet-Diamond-Accent-Cluster-Ring-5-8-grams-Size-6/222542371621

26 days left on the sale..........................................

[mhr7]

Trench, if you're too cheap to buy a diamond, she'll wonder what else you're too cheap to buy. If you give her zirconia, you are showing her how little you think of her and that you value money more than her happiness. This is a woman you want to spend the rest of your life with, your life partner. Don't be a cheap bastard, show her you actually care.

[Hammer2722]

My advice to you Trench is to just forget all about the engagement ring. She won't give it a thought as its not normal in her culture. The 2 of you when you are ready, go and pick out a nice set of wedding bands together. You will save your self a lot of heartache in the long run.

You have only met her once, go see her at her city a few more times and spend as much time with her family and friends before you decide to pop the question. You still don't know each other. Save the vacation for a future trip.....

Dude, get a clue.... You have been given a lot of great advice here but like a lot of the unsuccessful guys who have been there, you are doing it your own way. I foresee a train wreck headed your way if you decide to do things your own way..........

[ML]

I foresee a train wreck headed your way if you decide to do things your own way..........

What would Frank say ??

[Trenchcoat]

I have another comment on this.  How I understand what you are saying is that you want a woman solely on your terms, and because she comes from a poor country, she should be grateful for whatever you throw her way.

It's this sort of highly strung attitude that really turns me of western women.

The fact of the matter is from looking into this area I have discovered that I don't particularly like Diamonds in fact I feel Zirconia are a much more pleasanter option. You can have them larger instead of some piddly stone you have to squint to see and they are perfectly formed. Am I supposed to pay more for something with flaws in it! Crazy 

[Boethius]

Yes, I am sure it is that "highly strung" attitude that drove you to a poor country in search of a woman.


No one who knows me would ever describe me as "high strung".


Yeah, we know what drives your decision - actual cash outlay vs a manufactured "jewel" that costs less than a week's worth of lattes.

[2tallbill]

Crazy 

Trench,
1. Have you found one person apart from yourself who thinks that you should buy
the zirconia ring?

2. Why did you post the question, if your mind was 100% made up and decided??

Newbies, we run into stubborn guys all the time. One time a fsuw presented a man
with a $400 taxi bill, a $160 grocery bill and locked him in his apartment on New
Years eve and left and came back in the late afternoon the next day, with an excuse
that she had to work, the sun was in her eyes and the dog ate her homework and
he bought it hook line and sinker. He was what you might call stubborn and wouldn't
listen to reason. Several of us tried to do an intervention and he refused to see the
light. Don't be that guy. 

Udachi!

Bill




Note: the following cartoon belongs to cartoon stock and not me.

[Boethius]

Newbies, we run into stubborn guys all the time. One time a fsuw presented a man
with a $400 taxi bill, a $160 grocery bill and locked him in his apartment on New
Years eve and left and came back in the late afternoon the next day, with an excuse
that she had to work, the sun was in her eyes and the dog ate her homework and
he bought it hook line and sinker. He was what you might call stubborn and wouldn't
listen to reason. Several of us tried to do an intervention and he refused to see the
light. Don't be that guy. 

Udachi!

Bill

IIRC, he also bought her a brand new dress for New Year's Eve, which of course, she couldn't wear as she was "working" in a country where half the population is drop dead drunk on New Year's Eve.

[BillyB]

I don't particularly like Diamonds in fact I feel Zirconia are a much more pleasanter option.

I don't like the looks of diamonds either and I don't like DeBeers. They are based in the UK and when the UK was threatened in WWII by Germany, America asked DeBeers to release a large amount of diamonds so they can use them to machine weapons for the war. DeBeers refused thinking it would flood the market and hurt their profit margin.

You don't like diamonds but you do like the relationship you're in? Zirconia as the first ring most likely is going to damage the relationship. Bottom line is you're going to have to do something you don't like. Buy diamonds or risk the relationship.

[msmob]

That is why I don't want a Western Woman I don't want a woman that is more interested in materialism than in me its a
path to disaster if you ask me and why so many marriages fail in the west - the US & UK have the highest divorce rate. I'm
 surprised the church still supports all this diamond ring setup its just setting married couple of down the wrong path by putting
 materialism as prime concern in a marriage.

I'm pretty sure those from working class backgrounds in the UK going back mid 20th century or before often didn't used to buy a
 diamond engagement ring for the sheer fact they couldn't afford one or felt it necessary. In fact I'm pretty sure my mother doesn't
have one.

Trench - you have posted more perception howlers

1/ FSU W are in many cases MORE materialistic that their W counterparts.  My personal theory is that this was a hangover from Soviet times - when western brands were largely unobtainable.  The generation of women you seek would not even remember those times - but the obsession with western 'high end' brands continues.....  'Greedy'  is the term you WILL hear - as you are left wondering where you went wrong..

2/ My family origins aren't exactly silver-spoon in mouth  and I can tell you that Diamond rings were handed down and it was often a "welcome to the family" gift when a ring was presented as an engagement ring that was a family heirloom.

[Trenchcoat]

Trench,
1. Have you found one person apart from yourself who thinks that you should buy
the zirconia ring?

2. Why did you post the question, if your mind was 100% made up and decided??

My mind was not 100 percent made up at the start. I had seen a ring that I liked from a retail outlet she liked, I thought it would suit her. I then looked up and dound the stones were zirconia not diamond. Later I found out same ring in diamond would be near 40k. At the time of looking I checked outhe diamond rings in a reputable jewelers, the shop assistant told me all about them, there qualities, etc. I saw a few they were nice enough in a way but real piddly looking and the single solitaire rings just looked plain and uninspiring. I would guses that at the start my mind was already say 80 percent made up but because of all this fuss with diamond rings in society this made me wonder. Over time though & though writ in about it on here has cleared my mind that I should go for my original choice if it came to it. I know ML has not said get a Zirconia ring but from what he has put on here I think he has found the same as me in terms of zirconia being a conceivable perhaps even admirable choice to diamond. Who knows in the future people may come to see that there getting silly over oddities inherent in diamonds that really arent worth being at all interested in as zirconia can do the job quiet nicely.

[Anotherkiwi]

Let's just put "diamonds" to one side for a moment.  For me, the future wife is the most precious thing in my life, and I want to show her that by making a gift of something which is also precious.  For me, that would be an engagement ring with a precious stone or stones in it.  In my case, the centrepiece of the ring was a beautiful sapphire, with diamond chips around the edge of the main stone.  It probably cost a quarter (or less) of the same ring with a diamond as its centrepiece, which I would happily have paid for, but it was the one my wife had chosen out of dozens which we saw.

I honestly don't think that imitation stones such as cubic zirconia were even thought of as a substitute - "fake" or costume jewels were restricted to uses such as theatrical props.

[2tallbill]

IIRC, he also bought her a brand new dress for New Year's Eve, which of course, she couldn't wear as she was "working" in a country where half the population is drop dead drunk on New Year's Eve.

She had a couple of inconsistent stories and excuses.

[GQBlues]

There's always that silly fine line between giving advice from being a control freak.

Trenchcoat finally got laid in Ukraine, (uda'man, Batman!) hence he believes the world is as it is according to 'Trenchcoat', and all that is good enough for his inamorata. Obviously, the gal chose Trenchcoat and believe Trenchcoat is 'da'man' for her, and ALL that he is. This will be for both of them to sift through with one another. They bought tickets for their eRide, may the enjoy the experience. Oh FUN!

This is the MOB, fellas. A very atypical approach into interpersonal relationships. I find it amusing how so many of you keep trying to normalize what is an otherwise abnormal and highly subjective pursuit.

[jone]

There's always that silly fine line between giving advice from being a control freak.

Trenchcoat finally got laid in Ukraine, (uda'man, Batman!) hence he believes the world is as it is according to 'Trenchcoat', and all that is good enough for his inamorata. Obviously, the gal chose Trenchcoat and believe Trenchcoat is 'da'man' for her, and ALL that he is. This will be for both of them to sift through with one another. They bought tickets for their eRide, may the enjoy the experience. Oh FUN!

This is the MOB, fellas. A very atypical approach into interpersonal relationships. I find it amusing how so many of you keep trying to normalize what is an otherwise abnormal and highly subjective pursuit.

Abnormal and highly subjective pursuit.  LMAO.  That is the most euphemistic turn of words that I have ever heard applied to this endeavor.

[2tallbill]

I know ML has not said get a Zirconia ring but from what he has put on here I think he has
found the same as me in terms of zirconia being a conceivable perhaps even admirable
choice to diamond. Who knows in the future people may come to see that there getting
silly over oddities inherent in diamonds that really arent worth being at all interested in
as zirconia can do the job quiet nicely.

A plain gold band is with no gems or stones is better than a zirconia.
A plain silver or platinum band is better. 100% of the forum disagrees
with you.

[ML]

100% of the forum disagrees with you.

No . . . I am more and more thinking that this whole concept of engagement rings needs to be given more thought by both men and women.

We, the public, have been conned into this diamond thingy by promoters.

And I don't view zircons as 'fake' as many refer to them.
They are not fake diamonds, they are simply zircons.
Yes they are manufactured, but so are our automobiles.
Should we never give a gift of anything just because it is manufactured?

Perhaps the most valid argument is if the zircon is presented and represented as something else.
But what about don't tell, don't ask.

If someone asks if something is a real 'anything,'  isn't that just as rude and ungrateful as asking how much a gift (of anything) had cost?

[2tallbill]

No . . . I am more and more thinking that this whole concept of engagement rings needs to be given more thought by both men and women.

We, the public, have been conned into this diamond thingy by promoters.

And I don't view zircons as 'fake' as many refer to them.
They are not fake diamonds, they are simply zircons.
Yes they are manufactured, but so are our automobiles.
Should we never give a gift of anything just because it is manufactured?

Perhaps the most valid argument is if the zircon is presented and represented as something else.
But what about don't tell, don't ask.

If someone asks if something is a real 'anything,'  isn't that just as rude and ungrateful as asking how much a gift (of anything) had cost?

A simple gold band with no zircons isn't cheap or fake. It's simple, elegant and inexpensive.
It will be less expensive than a ring with a zircon, and it won't be a fake anything. He won't
have to worry about thugs mugging his girl and cutting off her finger to steal the zircon
ring either.

You didn't buy a zircon for a girl and try to pass it off did you?
Would you tell somebody else to do it?

Lastly, I don't know anybody here that recommended he even buy an engagement
ring in the first place. I have been referring to a wedding ring. I never bought an
engagement ring for Angel Eyes.