Rushin in Russia

[jone]

The day I dreaded is upon us.  In four hours my woman will get on that plane and be obligated through the New Year to take care of her son.   We don't know how or where we will be able to meet.  While I am loathe to speak of my emotions on the open forum, I can tell you that this woman is now very special to me.  And I think likewise in the opposite direction. 

But seeing into the future, we have some obstacles.  I think that the dogs issue will be able to be taken care of easily.  Our greatest obstacle is the distance and time that separate us.  Now, with the US clamping down on issuing visas, I could easily see the Russians doing the same thing with US visas to Russia.  Next week I will put in for a three year visa so I can be cleared for that time frame.  But I have suspicions that the visa wars are not over between the US and Russia.

In any event, yesterday was Disneyland day.  PB is not an amusement park person and freaked out when she went to Universal Studios.  But Disneyland has rides that are more family friendly.  We started out with the Jungle Cruise.  Then Pirates of the Caribbean.  Next the Haunted Mansion, slowly progressing up the thrill ladder.  At 4PM they had the Main Street Parade and PB was thrilled with it.  I explained to her that the Matterhorn was nothing to be afraid of and would be the easiest of the roller coaster rides.  She acquiesced and we fast tracked to the ride.  She sat in the seat behind me and I have never heard someone screaming so loudly.  I think there were a couple of Russian swear words in there as well.      (If she is yelling, 'Lu Suka' is that generally directed towards the ride or do you think that was personally at me?)  In any event, she survived the ride but I can assure you her blood pressure went up.  Oh, as a nice coda on the end, the ride operator said he had to move our car out of the linkage for a minute and as a result offered us a second ride without getting out.  I asked PB and, believe it or not, she was game. 

By six thirty we were done with Disneyland and on our way home.  I had introduced her to a Root Beer Float (she had never had one before) and she thought it was a nice addition to our day. 

More after the trip to the airport. 

[ML]

T  I had introduced her to a Root Beer Float (she had never had one before) and she thought it was a nice addition to our day. 

I hope you introduced her to the BLT, potato chips and chocolate milk combo.

[jone]

Seeing her disappear into that security line at the airport was very difficult.  I had her stocked with See's Candy to take back to her parents as a thank you for watching her son so PB could be with me.  Also sent back a Lego costume for her son, as well as a school backpack and lunch bucket.  This morning (night her time) he came on the phone to thank me and ask if he could see the dogs.

Logistically, she made it back in one piece.  The only flights that go into Chelyabinsk using Aeroflot from Moscow arrive in the middle of the night.  She called me at 3AM her time to let me know she had arrived and was very sad.  We have no immediate plans to meet again and I know this is weighing heavily on her.  But it is too soon to make plans with her son's school starting on the 1st.

So now begins the big grind of making a relationship work over Viber.  We both know how the other lives and both want to be together.  But knowing that does not make the wait easier.  I remember when Doug was facing this, having just met Larissa.  It is difficult to know what the future holds, only that we have a common goal to be together.

[Hammer2722]

Nice report. I really hope all goes well from here on out. I know the waiting to be together again is a killer. 

[jone]

Thanks, Hammer.

[Trenchcoat]

So that's two of you that agree that a long distance relationship isn't easy tp endure. Yet when I said the same a load of forum members here were like, 'so you have a problem using skype, rushing it' type of comments.

[msmob]

Trench, thetre is a HECK of a lot of difference between you hopping on a plane for a long weekend in Kyiv and - say -Jone flying from California to t'other side of the Urals ...

 

[HoundDaddyLee]

So that's two of you that agree that a long distance relationship isn't easy tp endure. Yet when I said the same a load of forum members here were like, 'so you have a problem using skype, rushing it' type of comments.

No one has said that a long distance relationship is easy, Trench. Skype makes it more tolerable. God, please come out as a troll. If you are not a troll, you could be the most idiotic person I have ever encountered. 


HDL

[jone]

While I have never met PB's parents, I am rather suspicious that they are not endorsing our relationship.  All of a sudden her mother is ill and her father has asked her not to request them to watch her son again in the future.  I had invited her son along for our next trip together, anyway, so it really doesn't curtail our relationship.

I can imagine if I were retired and I only had two children.  Their younger daughter moved to Narva, Estonia.  And here their older daughter, and her son whom they adore, is contemplating moving to the United States.  It leaves them alone in Chelyabinsk, the middle of Russia, with no family around.  I don't think that they want to oppose our relationship outright.  But by claiming the illness card, they can maintain a relationship in the future while still not being active proponents of acquiring a new son-in-law.

PB calls me, now, every chance she gets.  And I am fairly confident that her parents have heard her tell me that she loves me.  Perhaps, now that our relationship is in the doldrums, I am just imagining negative things.  Oh, well.

Here are some pics. 

[msmob]

As PB lives near her parents the illness is either genuine or an 'excuse' to let you down, gently ..

Parents get old and ill...  My siblings and I take turns with an elderly Mum  - but we can get around it ..

[Jumper]

Very trendy glasses jone, do you sport a pair of them too now?

Sorry to hear if the parents being ill,  or being not supportive,  hopefully  mom recovers well, and they decide you're not so bad for a packers fan.

[jone]

I should explain:  Her parents do not live with her.  They live out of town, about forty minutes by car.   As for PB, she is a Dodgers fan, not a Packers fan.  Inasmuch as we have only been together twice, I have yet to meet her son, although I talk to him on our calls.  She has not met my children, yet, either.

[Trenchcoat]

I had similar Jone with the first girl I met, to re-cap her father was due to retire and her mother did not work/retirement age. Hence she had to get a second job to support them both, or so she said. I determined through investigation this was probably bs but no doubt a situation that is quite plausible in FSU dating and probably comes up a bit, especially when dating older women.

No doubt retirement income in Russia is as bad as Ukraine as you no doubt know and illness is probably a big set back out there. Could be a case of her parents thinking of themselves (there's nothing in it for them after all other than being more isolated perhaps) and using a situation to tie their daughter down as they might feel they may need to call on her for help at some point in the future or may just like her being fairly nearby. It could be the girl wanting out as may have been the case in my situation.

IDK, it seems a lot of women in the FSU seem to be prone to these weird sudden happenings/positionings on a topic that comes up all of a sudden and scuppers a relationship. I'm not sure if its in their nature, if its a case of them deciding the man is wrong or they just want a cheap thrill out of meeting a foreign guy but then decide its all too much. Others in the past have suggested its a way of testing a guy and he's commitment but I'm not so sure on that would seem silly to scupper a relationship if girl was really into a guy. I don't know how they expect a guy to deal with such oddities as if its usual or something? 

[jone]

I had similar Jone with the first girl I met, to re-cap her father was due to retire and her mother did not work/retirement age. Hence she had to get a second job to support them both, or so she said. I determined through investigation this was probably bs but no doubt a situation that is quite plausible in FSU dating and probably comes up a bit, especially when dating older women.

No doubt retirement income in Russia is as bad as Ukraine as you no doubt know and illness is probably a big set back out there. Could be a case of her parents thinking of themselves (there's nothing in it for them after all other than being more isolated perhaps) and using a situation to tie their daughter down as they might feel they may need to call on her for help at some point in the future or may just like her being fairly nearby. It could be the girl wanting out as may have been the case in my situation.

IDK, it seems a lot of women in the FSU seem to be prone to these weird sudden happenings/positionings on a topic that comes up all of a sudden and scuppers a relationship. I'm not sure if its in their nature, if its a case of them deciding the man is wrong or they just want a cheap thrill out of meeting a foreign guy but then decide its all too much. Others in the past have suggested its a way of testing a guy and he's commitment but I'm not so sure on that would seem silly to scupper a relationship if girl was really into a guy. I don't know how they expect a guy to deal with such oddities as if its usual or something?

I will say it again, Trench,

You have never had a woman be in love with you if you believe the above that you wrote.  I just finished a half an hour Viber call in which my woman was misty eyed because we are not physically together.  My observations about her parents above have no impact on our ongoing relationship other than that they do not wish to be a repository for their grandson every time PB and I are together - which is now moot as her son will be with us every time we get together as we begin to build a family.

[Nightwish]

I will say it again, Trench,

You have never had a woman be in love with you if you believe the above that you wrote.  I just finished a half an hour Viber call in which my woman was misty eyed because we are not physically together.  My observations about her parents above have no impact on our ongoing relationship other than that they do not wish to be a repository for their grandson every time PB and I are together - which is now moot as her son will be with us every time we get together as we begin to build a family.

I feel you Jone.. I been in exactly this situation with one of the first women I had a relationship with there, she never hesitated about what she wanted, but her parents where very concerned, and made one excuse after another why she should end things, health, cats,  house, heritage.. everything.. up until the day I got to meet them, then everything changed on a dime, they saw I was a good man, that I was serious and only wanted to make their daughter happy. I think it all came down to concern and a care for their daughters well being.
It seems they have all seen the documentary's about Russian/Ukrainian women going over seas and ending up in abusive relationships or worse.

Now this relationship got shipwrecked because of her money hungry ex.husband, that she didn't allow it to progress and ended it with me before I made a stupid thing like pay him or as she put it, something worse could happen to me if I came there...  but the parents, they loved me after just a couple of vodkas and pickles

[jone]

Nightwish,

One of the first questions I asked was whether I would have problems with her boy's father.  He lives in Miami and cannot even enter Russia again as he owes a tremendous amount of money there.  He hasn't been in contact with his son and if we do complete a marriage, I will advise my future wife that she should not try to engage him on behalf of her son. 

He had warned her that if she ever sought him out, in America, that he would harm her.  I know who he is and where he lives.  I did my research to try to figure out if he could try to harm our future family, if we get that far.  Under US law, he owes approximately $17,000 in back child support.  But the courts would only seek it out if she came here and then received support from her local county.  Something that cannot happen as I am responsible for her in the US.

[Trenchcoat]

I will say it again, Trench,

You have never had a woman be in love with you if you believe the above that you wrote.  I just finished a half an hour Viber call in which my woman was misty eyed because we are not physically together.  My observations about her parents above have no impact on our ongoing relationship other than that they do not wish to be a repository for their grandson every time PB and I are together - which is now moot as her son will be with us every time we get together as we begin to build a family.

Seems to have happened quickly from a two day outing?

[jone]

Right.  Trench.

You are such an idiot you can't even read up.  PB was in California.  My trip there was for a four day outing.  But it would be unfair to have her think of moving to my part of the world without first having seen what her and her son's life would be like.   I can imagine the result if you had someone actually come and see the squalor you live in.

Next time don't be so stupid.

[Trenchcoat]

Right.  Trench.

You are such an idiot you can't even read up.  PB was in California.  My trip there was for a four day outing.  But it would be unfair to have her think of moving to my part of the world without first having seen what her and her son's life would be like.   I can imagine the result if you had someone actually come and see the squalor you live in.

Next time don't be so stupid.

Oh I see, a free trip to California and promising a dreamy lifestyle, no wonder she is getting all misty eyed, who would want to miss out on that.

Jone the last girl you were so caught up on turned out to be a gold digger, I think you may have messed this one up by offering her the land of plenty too early on.

Something 2tallbill told me recently hits home here. If a girl is into you she will follow you to a dust bowl (his did apparently ) This is good advice I think and a good reason to downplay where we live a little if we live in a known pleasant area. Ok you don't want to scare her off before you meet but equally you don't want her attracted to you because of where you live.

[wallm]

Oh I see, a free trip to California and promising a dreamy lifestyle, no wonder she is getting all misty eyed, who would want to miss out on that.

Trench, that is just silly. Stop talking.

[Nightwish]

Oh I see, a free trip to California and promising a dreamy lifestyle, no wonder she is getting all misty eyed, who would want to miss out on that.

Jone the last girl you were so caught up on turned out to be a gold digger, I think you may have messed this one up by offering her the land of plenty too early on.

Something 2tallbill told me recently hits home here. If a girl is into you she will follow you to a dust bowl (his did apparently ) This is good advice I think and a good reason to downplay where we live a little if we live in a known pleasant area. Ok you don't want to scare her off before you meet but equally you don't want her attracted to you because of where you live.

I see Trench "humor" is on full alert today 
Worst thing is, he really believes what he writes, while we in a way hope he is "joking"..

[msmob]

Trench is just unable to interact on a social norm level ...

[HoundDaddyLee]

I see Trench "humor" is on full alert today 
Worst thing is, he really believes what he writes, while we in a way hope he is "joking"..

We can take comfort in the fact that if/when Jon (or any of us) get married, we will know that Trench will be sitting in sad pub somewhere in the UK worried that the barkeep is watering down his drink. Everyone is out to scam the Trenchcoat.   


HDL

[Nightwish]

We can take comfort in the fact that if/when Jon (or any of us) get married, we will know that Trench will be sitting in sad pub somewhere in the UK worried that the barkeep is watering down his drink. Everyone is out to scam the Trenchcoat.   


HDL

I will beat you to the altar    and after that I wont even think about Trench anymore or any of his stupid inane remarks, he's stupidity or his view and totally wrong idea about Ukraine.

I will sit here at home with my stunningly beautiful wife and just enjoy life with her, she is something Trench could never have, she is even out of reach in his dreams.. she is someone that would have eaten him alive and spit out the remains like she was eating a chicken. I never met a stronger woman, with so much integrity and self pride, and yet she is like a kitten in everything else, she looks to me for everything when we are together, I am her man, I am the head of this, everything I say, goes.. unless she disagree, then its her way 

If she was around and saw his remarks about "dirt poor country" she would kick his nuts in to the next century..
and all I really ever wanted was to make him understand how wrong he is, make him go back and look at himself, take a hard look in the mirror and realize its he who is wrong about just about everything. 
but he is a lost cause.. I say it again, what he looks for he will find in Asia maybe, a cheap subservient sexdoll, Philippines or Thailand, maybe China, a FSU woman will never take his crap for long even if he somehow lured one in to marry him.

[HoundDaddyLee]

I will beat you to the altar    and after that I wont even think about Trench anymore or any of his stupid inane remarks, he's stupidity or his view and totally wrong idea about Ukraine.

I will sit here at home with my stunningly beautiful wife and just enjoy life with her, she is something Trench could never have, she is even out of reach in his dreams.. she is someone that would have eaten him alive and spit out the remains like she was eating a chicken. I never met a stronger woman, with so much integrity and self pride, and yet she is like a kitten in everything else, she looks to me for everything when we are together, I am her man, I am the head of this, everything I say, goes.. unless she disagree, then its her way 

If she was around and saw his remarks about "dirt poor country" she would kick his nuts in to the next century..
and all I really ever wanted was to make him understand how wrong he is, make him go back and look at himself, take a hard look in the mirror and realize its he who is wrong about just about everything. 
but he is a lost cause.. I say it again, what he looks for he will find in Asia maybe, a cheap subservient sexdoll, Philippines or Thailand, maybe China, a FSU woman will never take his crap for long even if he somehow lured one in to marry him.

Your woman sounds exactly like mine. Well stated Nightwish. I hope you and Mrs Nightwish have a wonderful life together.


HDL