Gifts for meeting the family

[CaptB]

Youch !!!!!!! Uh......what was the "original topic" ?????? Oh yeah.............."gifts" for her family. As Billy said....a nice picture book of the area you live in (for me it was the U.P. of Michigan). This was a big hit for me personally. My sister-in-law reciprocated by giving me a beautiful book on the Stavropol region of Russia. I gave out many jars of peanut butter over the years......a huge hit. If allergies are your phobia....tell them to take a tiny bit on the tip of a spoon......and that they can have all they want....."zaftra". For Dad
a nice bottle of "Makers Mark" would be a safe bet. Flowers and candy for Mom.......my Mother-in-law is addicted to Lindt Truffles....as is my wife. As for your girl.....that will be up to you. Hopefully in your skypes e-mails, phone calls.....and yes....even a letter or two........you may find she collects ceramic tortoises (my wife)....or whatever. The keyword is "personal".......not expensive. With my personal experience with FSUW......"personal" is huge. My wife says my Russian will always be lacking....a very nuanced language. I spent about an hour a day for six months with a 10 cassette tape-set called "Learn Russian in your Car". In my case....when I made mistakes.....my Russian friends chuckled.....but then immediately corrected me.....kindly. They always appreciated the effort I made. It was that genuine effort that made me many new Russian friends.Don't buy a lot of "expensive" gifts. Just put some thought into it. Here is a thought....tell your girl you want to buy a few small gifts for her  Father, Mother, Sister, Brother, Granny etc. She may give you some suggestions on what they would appreciate. My wife worked at an international language institute for a dozen years. Her good friend Igor collected 1950's American metal model cars. I brought him a 1956 (?) T-bird that I paid about $25 for. You would have thought I just gave him the hope diamond.
A little homework......and just a few dollars.....can go a long way. "Personal".


One of the reasons a lot of the "geezers" don't come here often.......is exactly what this thread has turned into......not about a "topic"......but a pissing contest. Yep......I am old......and out-dated......and any advice I give would have worked 15-20 years ago. But the naysayers are usually guys who have visited the FSU 10 - 25 times.....but are still living alone. On the old RWG (Russian Women Guide) this would not be an issue because we had people called "moderators"......who actually shut down threads or booted-out members who really had nothing to contribute......except negative comments about the forum members. When I joined in 1998 (?)......there were only 350-400 members. It was "fun". A large percentage of guys were actually visiting (as opposed to talking about) FSUW. Guys made mistakes....sometimes big ones. But if they were genuine in there pursuit....they could actually get help.......by people who cared more about the success of others.......than just "trashing' someone. The attitudes here by a number of folks....is disgusting. I don't see much of a brotherhood here. A message to the owners here: without some kind of moderation......members will become bored and frustrated .....and leave.......or look for a new forum......that encourages "positive" energy. This is not a freedom of speech issue.......it is about respect to others. If someone is a major "bonehead".....ignore them.....they in turn will get bored......and move on. If you think this is B.S......the majority on the RWG did indeed ignore those who were there to rattle cages......and they did..................."move on".


Am I just living in the past. Close to half of the RWG members "actually" visited the FSU....at least once. Many found a wife. Many did not find a wife.....but were not bitter.....and still willing to "try..........again"........with a lot of encouragement.....from "most" members. Living in the past?  But the brotherhood......was real. Without input from the owners......and at least some "moderation".......this forum..........will eventually disappear.


"Gifts"......back on topic. See the first half of my reply.


Sincerely,


Capt B   

[JayH]

CaptB,  instead of an overall poke at the forum at large --name names and give examples of exactly who you are addressing your comments about .

    I don't agree with Moby on much -- but in his criticism of Trenchcoat --I agree with him .Perhaps the flaw is that he persists --but --before concluding anything on that front --you need to have followed the sheer inanity of Trenchcoat --who btw --mostly regurgitates what he has read here without actually comprehending  the words.
    Then we go to BillyB who thinks he has to post in every thread on every topic-- and then keep posting in it when he has already  made it very clear that he knows very little on the specifics -- and the fool Trenchcoat starts adding silly BillyB to those he starts repeating!
    Now to ML's comment --ML in other threads you took umbrage ( reasonably) when others posted stuff you thought incorrect ( I agree with you on that btw) -- and have seen fit to keep commenting! ! It is annoying when you see clear bs posted--even if it was done in a harmless way. The problem with the persistent TC bs is that a newcomer might take it as if the guy actually had a clue !
  All that has led Moby to keep pointing out what a tool Trenchcoat is .
Now CaptB -- who should be moderated by your standard? If I had my way --every post Trenchcoat makes( which btw -often has little to add to a thread and is often way off topic) should have a permanent warning on the bottom of post -- like cigarette  packets with health warning!  Then Moby -- and  about the 90% who have commented in despair on Trenchcoat could stop worrying !!

[CaptB]

On the RWG our standards were clear......"no personal attacks". If you have a problem with someone.....i.e......"their bullshit views"......ignore them.....and they will go away.
If they can no longer get a rise out of forum members.....they will get bored....being ignored......and move on. I do not see anyone "ignoring" an individual here (as we seemed to be able to do on the RWG).....so they have not "moved on". Is it their (the member spewing B.S.) fault.......or the member who does not have the strength and self-control.......to just plain ignore? I here many excuses.......for the former..........but no demonstrations for the latter............ I believe those that give in are as much at fault. Those that can exhibit "self-control".....and can "not give.......and just ignore......will be the winners in the long run. It was proven in the old RWG.........I see no such demonstration ........here.


Capt B

[msmob]

Capt B has a point

*I* now have it in for Trenchcoat as he makes me ashamed to be British...  Lest anyone could imagine we are all as thick as he is.

He doesn't listen, posts shyte advice and then scored a 'direct hit' on my tolerance switch when advising me how to 'dispose' of one of our kittens that had just been run over


The ***t has told us that he's given up on FSU W and 'targeting' - not so - local lasses ....   But he still likes to post here about women - in general - being 'scammers' ... 


Please understand ... I make no apology for my intolerance.

[BillyB]

Capt B, some people you just can't reach. Just as you figured them out, ladies will too and they will pay for their attitudes.


Now I got JayH complaining I talk too much when he posts just as much as I do, just over two posts a day average.

He doesn't listen, posts shyte advice

Trenchcoat didn't listen to me when I recommended dropping those women he was involved with but it doesn't bother me to the point of following him around the forum. If your advice is good compared to Trenchcoats, post your advice and readers can make up their own mind who is putting out better advice. I don't lose any sleep if someone doesn't choose my advice.

[msmob]

Trenchcoat didn't listen to me when I recommended dropping those women he was involved with but it doesn't bother me to the point of following him around the forum.

Hmm - how to make this clear...

If I see utter bollox - something like,  "I joined some dating sites, posed a a single guy, to help out new guys" - I might pay special attention to that poster - lest any newbie though 'data' obtained was valid....

[Anotherkiwi]

...I gave out many jars of peanut butter over the years......a huge hit. If allergies are your phobia....tell them to take a tiny bit on the tip of a spoon......and that they can have all they want....."zaftra".

Are you utterly insane?  ALLERGIES ARE NOT A PHOBIA.  If someone is extremely allergic to peanuts, your advice could kill them. 

Luckily my allergy is not quite that severe - but I would still most likely end up in hospital if I tried this.

[CaptB]

There are hundreds if not more food items that people are allergic to. Peanuts have gotten a lot of press......mainly because their consumption is so commonplace. By "phobia" I mean worrying about every possible thing that you could eat. I have had friends/relatives who were allergic to strawberries, chocolate, blueberries, fish, shellfish and many more. I once dated a girl who was a celiac-sprue........highly allergic to "wheat-gluten". I had a discussion with a waiter at an italian restaurant. I asked if the "cheese" was pre-ground.......or ground on the premises. He could not give me a strait answer.....so I asked for the owner. After explaining the situation to him.....he said it was boxed and reground......(usually) meaning a small amount of flour is added to keep the cheese from sticking. It has been estimated that over 90% of canned, frozen and processed foods contain wheat gluten. Whenever I cooked her dinner....I spent a few hours (pre widespread use of computers and the internet) just to make sure all food items were safe. She had to do this for herself....thee times a day.....all her life. So lets not get oversensitive about peanut butter. Obviously you can ask the person if your "food gift" is safe for them to eat. My sarcasm can be very dry...at times. I apologize for the "taste a little"....crack.


Cant B


OR.......to Anotherkiwi.........Captain Insano

[Nightwish]

There are hundreds if not more food items that people are allergic to. Peanuts have gotten a lot of press......mainly because their consumption is so commonplace. By "phobia" I mean worrying about every possible thing that you could eat. I have had friends/relatives who were allergic to strawberries, chocolate, blueberries, fish, shellfish and many more. I once dated a girl who was a celiac-sprue........highly allergic to "wheat-gluten". I had a discussion with a waiter at an italian restaurant. I asked if the "cheese" was pre-ground.......or ground on the premises. He could not give me a strait answer.....so I asked for the owner. After explaining the situation to him.....he said it was boxed and reground......(usually) meaning a small amount of flour is added to keep the cheese from sticking. It has been estimated that over 90% of canned, frozen and processed foods contain wheat gluten. Whenever I cooked her dinner....I spent a few hours (pre widespread use of computers and the internet) just to make sure all food items were safe. She had to do this for herself....thee times a day.....all her life. So lets not get oversensitive about peanut butter. Obviously you can ask the person if your "food gift" is safe for them to eat. My sarcasm can be very dry...at times. I apologize for the "taste a little"....crack.


Cant B


OR.......to Anotherkiwi.........Captain Insano

You can not be allergic to gluten, but you can be oversensitive (intolerant) to the protein...and get problems from it. Not fatal in any way.

You can however be deadly allergic to Peanuts , where only the presence of the nuts in the immidiate area can cause a severe allergic reaction, with deadly outcome if you dont get medical attention.

You clearly have no idea what you are talking about CaptB.

[GQBlues]

....Whenever I cooked her dinner....I spent a few hours (pre widespread use of computers and the internet) just to make sure all food items were safe. She had to do this for herself....thee times a day.....all her life. So lets not get oversensitive about peanut butter.....

Not to pick fly pshyt out of peppers, there are times we need to be careful in making such wild/broad statements to try and make a point. To the 'careful' reader', it isn't difficult to cast aspersion or vilify statements like the above.

If 'one has to spend a few hours in preparation of a meal - 3 times/day - all their lives', then either it is automatically cast as a silly exaggeration at best, BS at worst. Any 'process of elimination' have a gradual rate of decline or even termination. One would eventually 'group' agents/items to avoid these triggers, and would no longer need to 'spend a few hours, 3 times/day, all your life' to make the distinction.

Dunno. Maybe it's just me.

[Mappy]

A little thread drift here, perhaps?

[Anotherkiwi]

A little thread drift here, perhaps?

Not really, because jars of peanut butter were suggested as a gift.  I was only pointing out that it would be quite bad form to kill some of your girlfriend's family before you had a chance to see if the relationship was going to work. 

[calmissile]

Was about to suggest peanut butter.  It was always a hit on my trips.  I would assume anyone with peanut allergies would alredy know it.  Peanuts are not new to the world.

[Mappy]

I simply meant that this is the sort of thread that people might come to, hoping for some useful advice?

A page of comments about not taking anything containing peanuts doesn't seem to do the subject justice, particularly as in most countries surely people grow out of eating peanut butter as a teenager?

[CaptB]

GQ & others,


In my post I said........ "I"........ spent a few hours to prepare "Occasionally!!!!!!!!!! a meal for her. We dated for about six-months. We did not live together. I only cooked for her maybe 7 or 8 times during the time we dated. And yes....it took ........."ME"...........several hours each time to provide a safe "surprise" meal for her. Obviously ....."SHE"....did not spend hardly any extra time........she lived with this condition her whole life. The only idiots her are folks that decided that peanuts are "MORE" deadly than
"wheat protein". We were at a wedding reception.....when she ate a small amount of food that was supposed to be safe. She ended up going into convulsions....and then a comatose state. She was in the hospital for five days. The doctor said she almost did not make it. Yes peanuts can kill some folks.....but so can many other foodstuffs. My experience with this condition is firsthand. I don't appreciate the name calling.


Capt B

[rw_recruiter]

I did not bring peanut butter or candy. I brought her father a bottle of Jim Beam Devils Cut bourbon. Her mother I brought a cheap laptop and a usb key since the SSD was on the small side. Her brother received no additional gifts. Babushka got a pair of comfy slippers Anya and I bought at the market together.

Anya and her friends loved the karaoke mics. They were a big hit at the party.

We are currently jumping through the hoops for her tourist VISA to the US. Paperwork, bank deposits, etc.

We will see if she likes it here otherwise I may opt for the expat route.

[ML]

Anya and her friends loved the karaoke mics. They were a big hit at the party.

How do these operate?  What about the music and words typically involved in karaoke?

[ML]

We are currently jumping through the hoops for her tourist VISA to the US. Paperwork, bank deposits, etc.

You seem to be assuming she will get the visa.
Most from Ukraine do not get a tourist visa to USA.
If you are thinking you putting money into her bank account will help when she goes to Kyiv for interview at US Embassy . . . they are well aware of this tactic and look for deposits that are many months old, not just recent deposits.
And do you know that your existence in her life is a negative for her chances of getting visa?

[rw_recruiter]

How do these operate?  What about the music and words typically involved in karaoke?

Basic amplified microphones is all they are. You sing off youtube videos uploaded for this exact purpose.

You seem to be assuming she will get the visa.
Most from Ukraine do not get a tourist visa to USA.

I am assured she will get it by several people who have done this in the past. It is not as difficult as in the past they tell me and there are ways around it if need be. My flight back into NY I was the only American. They let all the Ukrainians in without issues. The border guards were a bit rude towards them as they don't seem to know what a line is, but they all went through.

[jone]

Basic amplified microphones is all they are. You sing off youtube videos uploaded for this exact purpose.

I am assured she will get it by several people who have done this in the past. It is not as difficult as in the past they tell me and there are ways around it if need be. My flight back into NY I was the only American. They let all the Ukrainians in without issues. The border guards were a bit rude towards them as they don't seem to know what a line is, but they all went through.

Haven't ever known a public servant in New York who wasn't rude.

[mhr7]

Was about to suggest peanut butter.  It was always a hit on my trips.  I would assume anyone with peanut allergies would alredy know it.  Peanuts are not new to the world.

Don't know about Ukraine but they sell peanut butter here in Russia. Haven't tried it yet but I believe it's the 'natural' kind that just contains peanuts and salt with the oil on top.

[calmissile]

Don't know about Ukraine but they sell peanut butter here in Russia. Haven't tried it yet but I believe it's the 'natural' kind that just contains peanuts and salt with the oil on top.

When I first went to Ukraine a number of years ago, peanut butter was rare to find in stores and most of the natives had never tried it.  That is why it was a big hit.  In later years I was able to find it in a few stores.  Taking something unique or rare as a gift is always good.

I also found that the most desirable items were maps, photos and articles about where you live.  Your prospective bride (and parents) are always curious about a place they have never been and especially curious about when their child might move to.

[GQBlues]

Any gesture of giving is always welcome.

FSU folks love their green tea. I've always brought variations of green tea at Teavana. It's light, a good compliment to other things you may bring, and a great conversation subject.

If you're already having a relationship with a special gal, and you'd like to please the folks, get a very nice 'tea set/china'.

[Boethius]

Don't know about Ukraine but they sell peanut butter here in Russia. Haven't tried it yet but I believe it's the 'natural' kind that just contains peanuts and salt with the oil on top.

It's easy to find in Ukraine as well, and it is that type - ground peanuts and salt.


Types of gifts I would give - good quality winter scarves in a neutral colour, leather winter gloves, alcohol, cigarettes.

[Anotherkiwi]

Was about to suggest peanut butter.  It was always a hit on my trips.  I would assume anyone with peanut allergies would alredy know it.  Peanuts are not new to the world.

I think you must have missed, or misread, my original post.

Not necessarily a good idea, unless you know them (and their health) well.  An allergy to peanuts, even though not exactly common, is one of the most likely to encounter.

I simply meant that this is the sort of thread that people might come to, hoping for some useful advice?

A page of comments about not taking anything containing peanuts doesn't seem to do the subject justice, particularly as in most countries surely people grow out of eating peanut butter as a teenager?

I don't know about your country, but peanut butter is a staple part of many (even most) people's diet here, whether in sandwiches, on crackers or simply being scooped out of the jar.    My mother is in her eighties, and she still loves it.

GQ & others,
...The only idiots her are folks that decided that peanuts are "MORE" deadly than "wheat protein". We were at a wedding reception.....when she ate a small amount of food that was supposed to be safe. She ended up going into convulsions....and then a comatose state. She was in the hospital for five days. The doctor said she almost did not make it. Yes peanuts can kill some folks.....but so can many other foodstuffs. My experience with this condition is firsthand. I don't appreciate the name calling.

Far more people get hospitalised (and/or die) from peanuts than from a gluten intolerance, so in that sense - YES, peanuts ARE more deadly than wheat protein.  That is not denigrating your first-hand experience, which is something I most certainly would not like to see myself, but you had not mentioned this when my original post was made, so how could I possibly respond to something which I didn't know existed?  And yes, I do agree with you that there are many other foodstuffs which can also be fatal.

My name-calling was simply because I read your response as trivialising a condition which affects many millions of people, including me, in varying degrees.