To the Pearl of the Black Sea

[Boomstick77]

Does anyone tend to think maybe rw_recruiter is just enjoying his time in Odessa with the girl he met, even if it is Anastasia date where he found his honey from. When I met my wife on a site, her profile picture wasn't the same as it was in reality. She had dated a Brit and he was not quite right in the head and harassed her after she broke things off with him. So when she came back to the site everything written about her was true but her picture wasn't the same. She just used a girls photo from vk and when we Skyped I thought..hmmmm...she don't look the same...she looks even hotter..hahaha. I did get around to asking her and she was upfront about things. If I had came to this forum she'd be rode off as a scammer, etc. I'm sure there are members who got jazzed on visits to meet the girl of their dreams and it's got to suck but no matter what side of the world we are on with women...we all part ways with our money. I've not been scammed ever by my Ukrainian wife...my ex wife...which is from canada is a scammer through and through. Shes almost a journeyman pipe fitter and today wanted 300$ for my child's school stuff.,.he just spent 3 months with me and I still payed my ex 400$ a month while he wasn't with her..what did she use that money on? Who knows? I don't owe alimony. Anyways... rw_recruiter isn't looking to marry. He's just enjoying his time and is being smart. Most of this marriage fast stuff because ukraine and Russian women will meet someone else is a load of shit. If they love you, they'll wait. If they don't then it's no loss. My wife waited to meet me after 6 months of talking. 3 years later we got married.

If you guys are right then that sucks for RW but he's sending his trip report out and it's getting torn to shreds. If he wrote...tonite I bought her a pair of slippers for the apartment, it would be greeted by...ohhh she's definitely scamming you. 700 hyrvinias is pretty average prices to eat in Odessa unless your cheap and want the shits by eating in vlads sweaty cafe. is there some written rule where you should not spend money on a girl over here. Sure heading to tiffanys or Armani on the first date is an indication of dam... but every girl I've been with has wanted things...just like me.

Yes...this type of relationship isn't for men on a budget. rw_recruit is showing how he's having fun but the Sherlock Holmes types in here over analyze stuff. Her friend shows up and the agency somehow sent her for a free meal? Who comes up with this stuff. It wasn't no 4 or 5 star restaurant and rw is getting screwed over. I'm just sitting here laughing with my wife over a lvivski and reading this stuff...oh wait...I better not give out these tips to her... she might catch on....please.... best of luck rw_recruiter.

[GQBlues]

OP

Onward to your trip. Motives, intent, plans and aspiration are exclusive only to you and your gal. Your reporting is refreshing regardless of the oft-misguided opinions and advice of the forum 'experts'. You are directly grinding through the MOBer rationale and they'll never grasp reality beyond their limited bounds.

Ignore the noise, enjoy your trip!

[ML]

TOTALLY DISAGREE with your experience...  based on my own experiences !

Moby, I am surprised at your lack  of correct wording here.

You cannot disagree with another persons 'experience.'

[BillyB]

Her mother came to the airport with home made food Billy.

You seen it being cooked before you flew into town? You're inviting her family for a feast, where you're doing the cooking to a house you rented, right? Has any of her friends and family invited you into their homes? Has she invited you into her home?

He is on his way over. You want a pic of his foot? Want me to hold up a code word next to it?   

Was sent to his name.

You don't need to send a photo. I'll trust you if you say he's missing a foot.


When you were on ADate at times convenient to you, she had to be on the site in the wee hours of the morning to talk to guys in America. If her brother was in fact the recipient of the money, that means she may have been the one trading messages with you instead of an agency employee. A few days ago when having dinner with one of her agency friends, they told you they were agency girls. Just yesterday having dinner with an ex agency girl, they tell you they are ex agency girls. For her brother to get money, she had to give his name and for her to know you're coming to visit, she had to be involved with the agency to get this information.


I've never used an agency but I communicated with lots of women at dating sites and some of those girls are agency girls. Those girls talk nice for a few messages and next thing you know, they have a story about a family member that needs help and of course the help cost money. I ask those girls is anything I can do to help. If they say "no" I will take it as if they are just frustrated about the situation and needed to vent. If they say "yes" I move on to other girls. Surely you don't think you're the only man on ADate that night or other nights that she told the story to being that her brother desperately needs boots because he's a soldier in the war. I wonder how many men stepped up to the plate that night and other nights trying to be a hero to a person they never met. Don't be naïve and think you're the only guy who sent her "brother" money. When presented with the story, did you volunteer to send money or did she ask you straight up to make a donation to help war veterans?


Although you don't want marriage, people here think it's okay to let your guard down. If you want to live with the woman temporarily  for a few years or the rest of you life, you still need to figure out if you can trust her. The pussy is a whole better with a person you can trust and respect.

[ML]

The pussy is a whole . . .

Is that the correct spelling ??

[BillyB]

Spelling is correct. Forgot to add "lot" between "whole" and "better". This has been a good trip report. Interesting to learn many men on this forum don't place much value in learning if they can trust the lady they are visiting and fun is their priority. I'm not picking on RW_Recruiter. I've seen guys looking to rent women. They want to open the women's legs and the women wants to open their wallets. They have an understanding so I don't object. RW_Recruiter is thinking about living his life with his woman. He should figure out if he can trust her. I'm picky. I don't let people get too close to me but I take care of of the people in my lives well once I trust them.

[ML]

Billy, it is long past the time to be thinking that RW_Recruiter needs any help with women . . . anywhere in the world.

Others here do need a lot of help; but not him.

RW_Recruiter will only be screwed when, where, how, and by whom as he chooses.

He is in a rather cut-throat business as a career.  This FSUW stuff is baby stuff to him.

[BillyB]

  This FSUW stuff is baby stuff to him.

When guys send money to people they don't know, I don't believe they got this whole FSUW stuff or life figured out or they can catch women based off their personality alone. Guys should try to win a girl over with who they are, not what they have in their wallet. When guys communicate with women at ADate, I don't have faith that they know how sincere women talk. Sincere and insincere women are like night and day. Easy to tell the difference. Also he wasn't liking his dating experience in America so he's fishing somewhere else. I loved my dating experience here. Some guys tend to run into all the wrong women more than others. Pussy is easy to get in the FSU. Don't need to try and be a hero, just offer money for it. Girls can be had for as low as $50 in Ukraine. If he makes $25,000 a month, he can bed up to 500 girls a month in Ukraine.  If this is all about sex, don't need to worry about the ladies you bed. If it's about finding a life partner, you better  figure out the inner qualities of a woman.


Isn't it a good idea RW_Recruiter figures out if the money he sent Western Union was used for the intended purposes or he was just one of the guys that got scammed? Isn't it a good idea to figure out who he's dealing with? Seems to me there are a few guys here think learning about the woman they're visiting isn't important. Maybe it is.... but if bedroom gymnastics are involved, learning about the inner qualities of a woman is not necessary only fun and all of a sudden she becomes marriage/life partner material?


When I wrote my Life Changes thread, I was accused of being a man whore, child molester, and criminal. There were talks about banning me since my goals didn't align with the theme of this forum. Still today people take swipes at me for my choices in the past. I dated a lot of women and went through a lot of them. Dumped most of them. Some people thought I wasn't serious about marriage, only about fun. Life as a single man was very good to me. Difference between me and RW_Recruiter, is he is happy go lucky and too trusting when engaging women including agency girls. Yes, not all agency girls are bad but they still need to be figured out. Me, I'm not going to waste time with a lady who made a living using other people, selfish or incompatible. I just move on to the next girl. Men are afraid to dump women after a few sessions of intimacy. The fun doesn't have to end if you dump the wrong woman. The fun can get better.

[rw_recruiter]

I met her brother, parents, godmother, cousins, cousins kids, aunts and pretty much any relative you can think of.

Her brother lost part of his foot, that is for sure. Landmine.We moved to a larger house don the shore.

Lot of home made wine and samogon. Toasts and a lot of food. Aunts jealous and very flirty. More tomorrow.

[BdHvA]

RW, It seems you have your wits about you. I would read and consider the 'advice' from the peanut gallery, but if the shoe does not fit discard this nonsense.

In the what it is worth this year I procrastinated on doing dental work and ended up going to a Ukraine facing doctor his service and quality was top notch according to my dental guy in the States upon examination on my return.

You did not tell us if you liked the mussels, I have had them in Odessa and compared to Zeeuwse or PEI mussels I found them miserable in flavour and texture.

[JayH]

I understand some girls are under contract but the right guy can terminate that contract for his girl. You're not the right guy so you think it can't be done. You're ripping on TC for his lack of experience. When you get a girl after 5+ years looking, any girl, I'll value your opinion a little more.

    I said it in previous post and will repeat it-- the red highlighted part is VERY STUPID "ADVICE"
A guy getting involved in any dealing like this with an agency is a very dumb thing to do . What you show BB here is how ignorant you really are -- your comment is as dumb as it gets. What is worse-- you seek to dispute what I said in the most naive way. You are clearly clueless as to why I am so emphatic --yet you still want to attempt to criticise me over it.

     Do you have any idea who may well "own" an Odessa agency? Who may take exception to some guy attempting to interfere in their business?  That is just one part--then the girl--who lives there-- has to deal with whatever -- and long after a guy has left . It goes on & on .
      The stupidity of your push to remove a profile at a premature stage  is also nonsensical in general.

Then you really do channel TC idiocy --you know nothing about my background and history ( regardless of how many backposts you "research"-you will only ever see snippets) . You react to being told you are sprouting bull shit -- which is exactly what you advice is-- and your comments directed at me .Your comments are just as negative  ignorant as  TC's.

      Apologies to OP for diversion -- but-- BB's comments aimed at OP are also mostly bullshit. BB is stuck on HIS pre-conceived concept that  an AD girl connected to an agency can't be genuine. I posted earlier in the thread on this precise point  -- and virtually everything in the OP's interaction supports my comments .

[JayH]

When guys send money to people they don't know,'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''..................... can get better.

You keep trying to rationalise your comments and attitude.
The problem is that you are stuck on the one size fits all  thinking. Funnily enough -- you attempt to explain why it did not fit yourself == and in the next breath return to the narrowest  version for others.

Like a few others here -- you can'y concede when you are wrong-- and keep digging a bigger hole with your inane posting.

The forum generally gives some very narrow parameters  and has a problem that the possibilities can be much wider and still be real.

[Hammer2722]

Would be really nice to just read a TR without people making it their personal battleground......

[BillyB]

I met her brother, parents, godmother, cousins, cousins kids, aunts and pretty much any relative you can think of.

You've invited the whole family, they came. Interesting move for someone who is not looking for marriage. I remember before your trip you planned on throwing a Karaoke party for her friends in your rental house too. Hopefully one of her friends, family members or your girl thinks enough of you to invite you into their homes and finally serve you a meal you didn't pay for. I think you're craving for the same hospitality you've shown them. One week down. One week left to see if they value you enough to invite you into their homes.

Her brother lost part of his foot, that is for sure. Landmine.

Since you sent money to him for boots a couple of months ago and it's confirmed the landmine disintegrated flesh and bone in his foot "after" the money for the boots were sent, he probably needed a few surgeries to reconstruct his foot due to this recent injury. Is his foot heavily wrapped or in a cast so it can properly heal? Did he walk on it? Ever find out in the two months you communicated with her through Adate, why she didn't give you her phone number when you asked but when she asked for money for boots for her brother, she gave you her brothers phone number? After you were the generous man, why didn't she give you her number? Don't answer that. Just things for you to think about. When you get a chance to talk to her mother or another family member in private, ask when her brother got his foot injured. Find out if people are telling different stories. You're an IT recruiter. You should be good at vetting people before recommending them for work. Make sure you're bringing honest people into your life. I'd tell your girl the same but I know she got enough smarts to understand honest men are better to live with than dishonest men.

Do you have any idea who may well "own" an Odessa agency?
 

I know the owners of all agencies in the FSU. They are owned by men and women that have bigger balls than you. Someday when you get a girl and she asks you to help her remove her profile from an agency, you're going to do her like you did me and say “Are you stupid? Do you know who owns these agencies and what they can do to me if I ask to remove your profile?”


Feeder agencies answer to Adate which is based out of America. ADate will be more than happy to assist you to remove one girl than get bad publicity or go to court. Adate has more control over what profiles are listed at their site compared to a mafia owner of a feeder agency. If Adate doesn't cooperate, there's other avenues for a solution. When my MIL didn't get a tourist visa, I got my Congressman involved. Men who get results are less lonely than men who are full of excuses. Go figure.


If RW_Recruiter decides he wants an exclusive relationship with the woman, even if it's to be long distance and part time, he should offer to remove his profile and ask her to remove hers in their first step to prove they can commit to each other. Will she resist? Will she be thrilled with the idea? Will she apply conditions and tell him if her profile comes down and she becomes his woman, she needs to be well taken care of and begin negotiations?

You keep trying to rationalise your comments and attitude.
The problem is that you are stuck on the one size fits all  thinking.

It's NEVER rational to send money to a person you never met. There is no exception to the rule. You have no idea if the money is going to get used for what you intended. The only reason guys send money to pretty girls in a photo is because they want to look like a hero so they can get into their pants. They are doing it for selfish reasons. I have not seen any guys on forums that would send money to an old ugly hungry babushka that truly needs it unless she had a smokin hot granddaughter they could screw.

[rw_recruiter]

You did not tell us if you liked the mussels, I have had them in Odessa and compared to Zeeuwse or PEI mussels I found them miserable in flavour and texture.

You are correct. They were not amazing. But they were local and reminded her of harvesting them on the rock walls in the Black Sea with her father as a child.

[rw_recruiter]

You've invited the whole family, they came. Interesting move for someone who is not looking for marriage.

Family is very important to me. Marriage not as much. I am not very religious and anti government. If not being married or having kids impacts Anyas happiness I will obviously put hers before mine.

I remember before your trip you planned on throwing a Karaoke party for her friends in your rental house too.

Karaoke party with her friends is today. Family yesterday, friends today.

Hopefully one of her friends, family members or your girl thinks enough of you to invite you into their homes and finally serve you a meal you didn't pay for. I think you're craving for the same hospitality you've shown them. One week down. One week left to see if they value you enough to invite you into their homes.

I have been invited everywhere. Will make another trip to see babushka and Anyas father, and maybe spend time with Anya before I leave. Her mother spent the night last night. Big 3 bedroom home on the Black Sea. We had a huge clusterf@#k with accommodations yesterday which I will go over in a bit.

Trip is actually 10 days, I just throw loose numbers out sometimes.

Since you sent money to him for boots a couple of months ago and it's confirmed the landmine disintegrated flesh and bone in his foot "after" the money for the boots were sent, he probably needed a few surgeries to reconstruct his foot due to this recent injury. Is his foot heavily wrapped or in a cast so it can properly heal? Did he walk on it?

He showed up sober and cleaned up. He was wearing dress shoes and I did not ask him to remove them in front of everyone, but looks like it may have been amputated as I was told. He drags it. He walked over to me and thanked me and presented me his stamp collection from the USSR. Large number of old Soviet stamps and told me it was all he had and I could sell them if I wanted.

I know the owners of all agencies in the FSU. They are owned by men and women that have bigger balls than you.

You know every agency owner? Cmon man. I met one the other night, she was a 95 pound hottie.

[rw_recruiter]

Yesterday we are awakened at 6 am to the sounds of jackhammers and men cutting concrete slabs in the highrise above us. Seems they work on Saturdays as well. Not what we wanted for a family get together and the host said sound insulation is very good. It is not....

We begin to prep and marinate the pork for shashlik and I go outside to check the patio area. It is covered in concrete dust. The air is thick with it. Anya is horrified. SHe has invited her babushka and family over and the outdoor area is a mess. The airbnb owner even left his old construction material there.

How are we going to cook shashlik there?

I can see she is stressed and worried so take control and contact the owner. He says they will be done at noon. Anya opens a window and yells at them asking when they will be finished. Turns out it is 5pm.....

We contact the owner and explain the issue and he gives every excuse under the sun to try and get out of it. Keep in mind this host has numerous properties on Airbnb. We could abandon the shashlik idea and go rent cabanas on the beach for 400 Hrivnas, but we have kilos and kilos of meat and it is marinating. Not to mention all kinds of sides, salads, and assorted Russian foods.

We start to look for an alternate place. Anya find one on Airbnb for around $130 a night. Beautilful house with a pool. We can grab it for two nights then downsize for the rest of the week. I call the host and tell him we are leaving. Paper trail so I can chargeback as Airbnb is of no help here. Lots of back and forth with host. He is trying every trick in the book to keep us.

We call the new hostess and she wants to meet at the mall first. Strange...and we have an uber full of food and luggage.

Fine, we drive over and Anya hops out to meet her. They both return a minute later and Anya tells me the place we selected had a last minute issue, but this lady promised she could find another. We will absolutely love it she says. Great.....

She seems to be a realtor and starts calling people in her little book as we drive. We pull into a complex and it is a luxury apartment building. We asked for a home. They both go look and return 10 minutes later. $130 a night and very small with a little terrace. Anya says the grill is the size of my laptop. Not gonna work we tell her.

She coaxes us to look at another place and off we go again. I tell Anya to start reaching out to other hosts in Russian on airbnb as we drive. This lady is playing games I tell her.

"Lady scams me" says Anya.

She furiously begins a new search and sends messages.

Next place is a luxury home in Arkadia. But the home has been split in two and the owner lives in half the unit. And older stern looking lady. Not sure how that may work for a large gathering I tell Anya.

Stress levels begin to rise, the uber driver is wondering what the hell is going on and Anyas family is wondering when to come over. The heat is on.

Finally a host replies. She has a dacha right on the sea, with a pool. Pics look very nice and it is only $75 a night. Anya tells me it is very far though. Some guests may not show up. I tell her we have limited options and to take it. Only issue is that it has not been cleaned yet and party is NOW.

Losing the scamming realtor who posted a fake listing on airbnb we go pickup a cleaning lady for the property on the ride out. We get lost on the way for some time. Anya is stressed out because she fears it is too far and nobody will find us.

We finally arrive. Property is beautiful but a mess. One room on second floor looks like an unfinished addition, but it will work. We furiously begin to clean and prep.

[msmob]

Moby, I am surprised at your lack  of correct wording here.

You cannot disagree with another persons 'experience.'

I can and did ...)

[rw_recruiter]

Anya sends for her mother in an Uber. Our driver spent an hour so or driving down little alleys and unable to find the place. Anya is very worried that we are too far out and down a hidden street. Nobody will find us. We are not centrally located. We are in a beach area called Chomomorsky now. It is outside the main city a bit. I can see the concern on her face.

Her mother arrives and we both begin prepping food. Anya works on logistics and directions for everyone since event was moved.

Soon people start to arrive. I am cooking furiously but meet and greet everyone as they come in. The oven is broken so chicken parm turns into lemon garlic chicken. Aunts, sisters and cousins arrive and the women get to work making numerous salads. I hand off the pork shashlik to one of the Aunts husbands and he mans the mangals.

Everyone brought food, vodka, wine, martinis, juices and it comes together. Toast are made one after another. Jokes are made. One guy runs a bar on Otrada and is particularly funny.

He quickly rattles of something in Russian and says - "Look, after two shots of vodka he speaks Ukrainian!"

And "United States. Is it located in Africa or Europe?"

The night progresses and copius amounts of food and alcohol is consumed. People come and go and I meet much of the family. Nobody had an issue finding the place. They are used to difficult directions and little alleyways here. Seems our driver was just not familiar with the area. It was a success and enjoyed by everyone. Anya is happy.

[LAman]

RW- you mind giving the id numbers for these houses by the sea that are so cheap. Never seen any under $100. Even the condos in Arkadia are over $100.


Hard to believe you run into so many issues. Everything seemed to go wrong. Nothing like making you do extra work while on 'vacation'. Glad things worked out ok.

[BillyB]

I have been invited everywhere. Will make another trip to see babushka and Anyas father, and maybe spend time with Anya before I leave.

You reported all your meetings with Anya's friends at cafes but why did you leave out visits to relatives houses until I inquired about it?

but looks like it may have been amputated as I was told. He drags it.
 

Your previous post said for sure it was blown up. Now you're saying it "may" have happened as you were told. Although he drags it, he still needs to put weight on it to walk. His foot was blown up around a month ago. If you want to throw money around to have a good time, you've succeeded. If you want to get into a relationship with Anya, you need to figure a few more things out.


You've sent money to Anya/brother before your visit. You've promised a couple of parties for her friends and family at your beach front rental house before your visit. You've offered to fix Anya's grandmother's house before your visit. Did you tell her you make up to 25K a month?


We've had guys here send money, promise things, show pictures of their cars and homes, and disclosed what's in their wallet to gain the attention of a lady they never met. When they meet the lady, her behavior has been altered and it's hard to read why they like the man. I recommend guys to challenge themselves and win a lady over based off their character traits instead of what they own. A person who's into money isn't going to hang around very long if they don't know what you got, and if you don't put out. When communicating with FSU women, you've made it a point that you have money that you're willing to give and spend on them before meeting them. When FSU women inquire about my life and they have the right to know if a man can support a family, I tell them I live a normal life in America and can take care of a family. I've had a few ladies stop communicating with me after saying that. It's just one of my methods to get rid of people who values money more than me. So what if one hottie stops writing me. I'm not insecure and worry I can't get another.


Take away the money you sent. Take away the promises of fixing relatives houses and big parties, and the disclosure of what you make. Ask yourself if Anya would still be with you if you were the same guy but with less.

You know every agency owner? Cmon man. I met one the other night, she was a 95 pound hottie.

I do not know agency owners personally. I just know what's in their pants, including the 95 lb hottie, and every one of them has bigger balls than some men around here.

[Trenchcoat]

 Ah so now we know why the big welcome party turned out at the airport to greet you and the free ride to apartment etc. RW they knew you were good for the free feasts, house doing up, etc and you had already paid in advance in terms of the boots. Let me tell you that FSW are quick to catch onto if you have money and letting on that you do in any way is the worst thing unless you just want a hook up and fantasy of a relationship rather than pay straight out for a money for sex deal.

I have made the mistake of posting a picture that some girls may take as me having money and said some stuff that might have sounded that I did. The profile pic was not real obvious that I was trying to suggest I had money but was enough (it doesn't take much). From now on I will be making sure I leave anything that suggests I have money out. BillyB's suggestion of a standard 'I live a normal life and can support family' looks good advice to me. RW, BillyB has tons of experience and it's clear he has learnt a lot over the years of his search that he can read into what is going on here should tell you his advice is worth considering. End of the day it is up to you if you want to decide to see if there is a serious relationship here or be happy with a no strings I'll fly in when wish and help you out with X and we'll have some good fun. Be warned though the costs may start to mount as she may start asking for more and more as tune goes on.

[Boethius]

Ah so now we know why the big welcome party turned out at the airport to greet you and the free ride to apartment etc. RW they knew you were good for the free feasts, house doing up, etc

Yes, every UW is dying to spend time with a foreigner in order to take advantage of his willingness to pay for smoothies and shashlik. 

[JayH]

RW- you mind giving the id numbers for these houses by the sea that are so cheap. Never seen any under $100. Even the condos in Arkadia are over $100.


Hard to believe you run into so many issues. Everything seemed to go wrong. Nothing like making you do extra work while on 'vacation'. Glad things worked out ok.

It is a little further away from downtown  -- I can see a lot of choice under your  $100 mark. Prices drop out of summer high season --even more % wise the further from the centre.

Not wanting to divert the thread!!-- but-- it is interesting story re apartment renting. This could be my story and experiences LoL !! My lady insists on inspecting ( be that apartment or hotel) before I can hand over a cent or pay asking price. Very often ( too often) the photos booked are not the apartment/house/ hotel room as per photos -- or not an accurate reflection of condition--eg taken 10 years prior !! 
The debate about a newbie booking apartment blind -as recommended by some here dogmatically-- and all the hazards with that -can be seen in rw's experience -- and note-- he had 110% help in handling all this .

[JayH]

Yes, every UW is dying to spend time with a foreigner in order to take advantage of his willingness to pay for smoothies and shashlik. 

And he wonders why we say he will never succeed !!

Then there is BB's inane attempt to paint everything as a negative -sheeesh !